a man walks into a bar, sits down, sighs and says, "i had the worst day ever." the bartender replies with, "worse than 9/11?" the man then says "well, 9/11 wasn't that bad."

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What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup? Roast Beef Is Made From A Cow And Is Commonly Sold At Your Local Arby's.Pea Soup Is Made From Peas And No One Really Likes Pea Soup Anyway So Its Not Really Sold Anywhere.

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What do you call a Russian civil war? A war in which one side wants to seced from the other.

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-What's brown and rhymes with snoop? -Dr. Dre

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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A Mexican and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks. Then they leave because it turns out that wasn't the bar they were meeting the Jew at.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, go ask the chicken.

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if you are what you eat then arent pornstars considered vaginas?

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You're so straight!

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I dislike old people.

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Michael J Fox likes his martini's shaken because they taste better that way.

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Is your refrigerator running? Because your dad just hung himself

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A dog walks into a bar. The bartender asks the dog "what will ya have?" The bartender is then recognized as The Dog Whisperer

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A boy and a girl are playing catch. Why did the girl drop the ball? She had no arms. So why did the boy throw her the ball if she had no arms? Cause he's a Dipshit

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69

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? If you need an electrician to screw in a lightbulb, you're a moron.

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What do you call a monkey? A monkey.

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When life gives you melons, you know you're dyslexic.

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What did the cat say to the chicken? Nothing. Animals are not capable of speaking.

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What happend when Chuck Norris did a push up? He did one push up.

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You are the third derivative of the position function.

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What do you call a retarded man? Nothing, because it's inappropriate to call retarded people names.

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Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

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whats the best thing about fukkin twentyone year olds...theres twenty of them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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