What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas don't scream when you put them in the oven.

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what is red and looks like blue paint? red paint.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and and no legs in front of a door? A: A quadruple amputee.

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what do you call a black guy in a house? a burglar

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Q: What do you call a gray box without a joke in it? A: I don't know but you'd better think of something.

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A Starfish walks into a bar. He sits down next to a man with a concussion. Q: What did the man say? A: Nothing because he was in a concussion and was no longer able to say words.

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there where 3 guys at a magic pool. if you jump in and say anything it appears in the pool. the first guy runs, jumps and says money!! he gets a bunch of money. the second guy runs, jumps and says gold!! he gets a bunch of gold. the third guy runs, slips says SHIT!!!! and lands in the pool.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, he didn't my car got to him first.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

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Why couldn't the cat eat it's food? It's face was stapled to the floor.

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What do you call a black kid on a bike ? Dirt bike

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Why did the Black Man only eat one apple a day? He was trying to stay healthy. On an unrelated note he was under the poverty line, and addicted to an illegal substance. He does not represent African-American society very well.

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why was the asian kid found dead? he failed an examen

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What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree and lands on you, you'd die? A pool table.

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How do you know when a Mexican has died? Well based on the large mass of people inside and outside the funeral home who mostly seem to be of a mexican background and cultue, it would be safe to say that those are his/her friends and family who care deeply about them and therefore you could conclude that a Mexican person probably passed away. It's actually quite sad and going to be a rough few days for those closely connected to the person who died.

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Women

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An Irishman stays home

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I'm not racist... Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

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3 blonds walk into a bar ouch

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How do you get a beautiful woman to go to bed with you? "How?" It's not a joke, it's a legitimate question!

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why did the little old lady die? she was mugged then shot in the head 5 times.

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Why is Chuck Norris' beard so great? because he grooms it daily.

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A ginger rapping.

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Yo Mama is so fat cuz.. She has accumulated Obesity and needs your help to be rehabilitated due to the fact that she is at a high risk of heart attack, cancer, type 2 diabetes, and Etc. Try to motivate her to decrease food intake and increase physical activity. Thankyou

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops