Why does my girlfriend pee standing up? Because he is a man.

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Real jokes.

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How do you starve colored people? deny them food stamps

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Katlin Poladian liked her own status again.

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I'm gay. Great me too.

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Noah is Smart.

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Whats a good source of iron? A piece of iron.

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Q:why are lamas cool? A:because m&m's are poisoned with deadly dosages of viagra.

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What did Goldilocks say to the three bears? She asked them how bears make porridge without opposable thumbs.

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Why did the passenger plane crash? Well, if not mechanical failure or human error, probably because a bomb was detonated onboard.

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Hey, did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No He didn't either.

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Your life That's the joke

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AROUND

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What has human male genitalia? A human male

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A baby seal walks into a club

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A fat man walks into a bar. There is a 70% chance his mom is fat.

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What is the first step in making an ugly girl pretty? Shave her genitals.

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Two gay men in a hottub. They relaxed for about half an hour before getting out and going to the bed, where they fell asleep.

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I had sex with the Earth, and out came global warming...Imagine what will happen if i had sex with Obama?

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What do you call an insect that has 8 legs? A spider.

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newt gingrich

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A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

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What do you call an elderly women who after the death of her late husband had many enconters witb men? A whore.

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your mamas so old, her social security number is 1!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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