The racist uncle went to attend his nieces bat-mitzvah. Although he is racist, he is smart enough to not speak his mind, for he is in a temple, and may offend many people at the service.

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Got milk? No.

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Why did polly fall of her swing ??? She had no arms

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Why couldn't the woman go grocery shopping? She was paralyzed from the neck down.

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When my Xbox died, my girlfriend said: "Finally, you can treat me the same way you treated that thing!" So I tapped her so hard that she died

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You're so straight!

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^that joke's not funny

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Why did the panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second panda fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first panda. Why did the third panda fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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Is your refrigerator running? Because your dad just hung himself

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what did rebecca say to sabrina ? CALL wass !!

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why can't the black man get a job? The economy is suffering and unemployment rates are at an all time high

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why did the mother beat the young boy? Because he was adopted

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A pregnant woman takes the bus, once inside she realizes that there are no seats. No one was pollite enough to let her sit down so she felt pretty uncomfortable on the way home.

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A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

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What is the difference between you and Chuck Norris? You're reading this and he's probably doing something productive.

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Why are "Polish" and "polish" spelled the same? The word is a homophone.

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What happens if you throw a red ruby into the black sea? It gets wet.

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Whats worse then reading the same joke over and over again? Getting mutilated by a cupcake.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

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What did the pedephile do to the young boy? Smiled at him, said hello, and kept on walking.

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How do you starve colored people? deny them food stamps

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Why did the old man die? Because everyone dies

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A white guy and a black guy are standing in a room. Which one of them is a murderer? I don't know, there is not enough information given in the question. However, according to Bureau of Justice murder statistics over the last 30 years, the black guy is 7.6 times more likely to be a murderer than a white guy in the United States.

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"Oh yeah?!" "Yeah!" "You wanna go?!" "No, sorry. I got plans." (walks away)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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