Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, go ask the chicken.

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I dislike old people.

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You're so straight!

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What do nine out of ten people enjoy? Gang rape.

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Is your refrigerator running? Because your dad just hung himself

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Michael J Fox likes his martini's shaken because they taste better that way.

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A dog walks into a bar. The bartender asks the dog "what will ya have?" The bartender is then recognized as The Dog Whisperer

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A boy and a girl are playing catch. Why did the girl drop the ball? She had no arms. So why did the boy throw her the ball if she had no arms? Cause he's a Dipshit

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A very depressed man walks into a bar, sits down, and gives the bartender his credit card and says, "Keep giving me beers until I pass out." The bartender asks, "What's wrong Buddy? You can talk to me!" The depressed man explains that he was fired, his wife has been cheating on him for the past 2 years, both his daughters ran away and became prostitutes, his mother died after choking on his father's Genitals and the father had just been diagnosed with both brain and testicular cancer and will die within the week, his sister was kidnapped and sold into a sex slave market and has been missing for the past year, his brother confessed to being gay and committed suicide with his lover (male) after learning that their state did not accept gay marriage. He pauses to drink his beer, then continues on to say that he has been convicted of sexually assaulting a child even though he was innocent, his dog had just been run over by a tractor trailer with no physical body left to bury, his cat had gotten stuck in the garbage disposal and he turned it on without knowledge that the cat was sleeping inside. The man looks at the bartender and started to laugh and cry at his misfortune, he then said,"... And to top it all off i just spent the past 2 hours explaining this to a deaf bartender!" The man then went home and hung himself on the telephone pole outside his house. At the funeral only the bartender,who attended, spoke on his behalf, reciting the man's terrible life, then ending by saying, "This man death has motivated me to search for a cure to this rare Delusional Disorder."

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The WNBA

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69

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What do you call a monkey? A monkey.

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When life gives you melons, you know you're dyslexic.

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? If you need an electrician to screw in a lightbulb, you're a moron.

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Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

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What happend when Chuck Norris did a push up? He did one push up.

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You are the third derivative of the position function.

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a boy walked into a pet store to get his bird some food. they were all out. the bird died.

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Whats worse then reading the same joke over and over again? Getting mutilated by a cupcake.

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Three tomatoes are walking down the street... No wait, they're in my salad.

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What's worse than being named Troy Merrill? Being Black.

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What does mens "man sauce" and babies have in common? They're both fun to make and easy to kill...

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Whats a good source of iron? A piece of iron.

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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