Why do people often give Jimmy strange looks? Because Jimmy has Down Syndrome

What's brown, dusty, and full of male? My asshole.

Your momma is so fat that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook her breasts for clocks

What did the man say when he dropped an apple on his foot? That might have caused some minor discomfort had I not been wearing shoes.

What is the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same.

3 blonds walk into a bar ouch

Why did Jill come "tumbling" down the hill after Jack broke his crown? She fell running on a hill, essentially why Jack broke his crown.

why did the bananan explode? it was a grenade

Your mother smells so bad that people make comments about it behind her back, and one person mailed her some soap.

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r Dbags n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

I'm not racist... Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

What did the mother say to her baby? These little piggies taste good!

what did the robot say to the centipede. Stop being a centipede!!!! Its funny because robots have arms.

penis

What is the same about a plum and an elephant? They're both grey except the plum

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a shoe sale at JC penny on the other side

What do you get when you multiply a trillion times a billion times a quintillion? A huge ass number.

(Q)What do you call 4+4? (A) A math problem.

the WNBA

FOLLOW ME @airvvv

Costello: Who's on first Joe Girardi: Mark Teixeira

Baseball

Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

A preposition is a bad thing to end a sentence with.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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