What did Billy get his parents for Christmas? Billy's an orphan.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

how do you get 100 dead babies in a bucket? use a blender. how do you get 100 dead babies out of a blender? Doritio's

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: What kills millions of people each year and sneaks up behind you unexpectedly? A: HIV/AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What happened when the princess kissed the frog? She died, the frog was highly toxic.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

where's waldo? in a picture book.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Three blind mice walk into a bar, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative

thumb_up thumb_down +26

There are three men in a canoe traveling upstream. One wheel falls off. How many pancakes fit in a doghouse? 9, because ice-cream has no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

If a midget is mentally retarded and always late for work, is it okay to call him a little tardy?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the chicken cross the road To go to KFC

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's worse than the titanic sinking 9-11

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call someone who is blind and deaf? Dumb.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the mechanic sleep under a car? He had narcolepsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's brown, hairy and goes up and down? A kiwifruit in an elevator.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Two people walk into a bar, the third one ducked.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the most annoying thing in the world? Yourself. (Your friends are saying it too, behind your back)

thumb_up thumb_down +22

whats better than shoes feet

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call Obama? - the president

thumb_up thumb_down +20

arse

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's worse than listening to a teacher talk? This joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats worse than The Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops