How do you have safe sex? Cut your own balls off

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there where 3 guys at a magic pool. if you jump in and say anything it appears in the pool. the first guy runs, jumps and says money!! he gets a bunch of money. the second guy runs, jumps and says gold!! he gets a bunch of gold. the third guy runs, slips says SHIT!!!! and lands in the pool.

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What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree and lands on you, you'd die? A pool table.

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why was the asian kid found dead? he failed an examen

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What did the mother say to her baby? These little piggies taste good!

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How do you know if you've been drinking too much? You find yourself in a closet screaming, "I'm in Narnia!!!"

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Your mother smells so bad that people make comments about it behind her back, and one person mailed her some soap.

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What did the mole say? Nothing

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why did the bananan explode? it was a grenade

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What's worse than finding a real joke on anti-joke? Finding a repeated joke about no armed susy falling off a swing.

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why is 5 afraid of 6? it isnt

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r Dbags n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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jack shine has boobs

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I'm not racist... Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

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Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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(Q)What do you call 4+4? (A) A math problem.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a shoe sale at JC penny on the other side

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what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped and left to die in the snow.

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the WNBA

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Brittney Spears

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penis

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Q; Why does paint dry? A; Because plankton are single cell organisms

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Knock knock. Use the doorbell, dumbass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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