"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend "I know. You need to quit gnawing when you're giving me a blow job."

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

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Q:why did the boy not have to walk his dog? A: because the dog and the rest of his family died in a terrible house fire while he was away at summer camp.

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My Roomate-(crying in the fetal position for the love of his life has been murderer) Me- (laughing) I have a problem

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Why can't Helen Keller hear or talk straight? Because she's dead

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Friend: Dude are you going to see the hunger games? Me: But i alreay seen it Friend: Dafuq? its not even out yet. Me: African children invented the hunger games. Friend: -.-

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I like your words "He without an equal, also stands alone was it?"

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hitler... Time to go to Aushcwitz

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Your mom is so dumb that all of society says she was poorly educated.

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Whats the difference between an American and a Frenchman? The language they speak.

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Wanna hear a joke? 9-11

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I have a knock knock joke. You go first.

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A duck walks into a bar and says, "Put it on my bill"

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If You Bend Over Some More I'll Eat That Booty Too

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Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 for violence and brief nudity.

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Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

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The original joke: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The anti joke, aka realistic edition: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT YAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH!" The ballon edition: Original: "Balloon! Watch out for that Cactus!" "What Cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (leaking air you slowmo) The anti-joke aka realistic version: "Balloon watch out for that pointy soda!" "What soda *pop*" Moral: None of these where the least realistic!

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis

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How do you find Will Smith in a snowstorm? You look for the black guy.

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Why did the Jew pick up the quarter on the sidewalk? Because he was going to buy a candy bar and was short 25 cents.

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What's worse then finding a worm in ur apple? Nothing it sucks and it's a waste of an apple

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Person 1:why did the person fart Person 2: wh.... Person 1:shut up I'm not interested any more! Btw person 2 got interrupted

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dont insult justin bieber, she has feelings too!

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What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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