A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Q: What do you call four black guys hanging in a barn? A: Farm tools

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Whats the difference between a lemon and an ant? They're both yellow except for the lemon.

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a lady says, " i cant stand this." Th guy next to her had his legs blown off and will never be able to stand again.

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Why did the student fail his test? Because he has AIDS darragh hamilton

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him he ain't gonna come.

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I had a dream I watched Inception.

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Test

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Why did the elephant cross the road? The chicken was on vacation.

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what's bad about pushing your friend off a cliff? you can't do it twice

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class is canceled. My professor died.

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Roses are red Violets are blue we're going to have sex because i'm stronger than you

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A quadriplegic walked into a bar, and... oh, whoops, nevermind.

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What's worse than Bieber fever? Yellow fever.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the first monkey? why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure.

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Oh hey is your dad good at golf? No, he's not really good at anything except lying.

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A black man walks into a sporting goods store and pulls out a gun! Then he returns it and leaves.

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Batman and Robin are about to get into the Batmobile. What does Batman say? "Get in the car Robin."

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? -Who's there? Not the girl.

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What is the difference between a jew and a tree a tree is awesome and a jew is a jew

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What's better than winning the lottery? Winning it twice.

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A chicken crossed the road and the farmer said, "Where the hell is that chicken going!?"

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side

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I saw a kid watching Harry Potter so I asked him "Do you like Harry Potter?" he replued "yeah" so I asked "do you want to be Harry Potter" he said "yeah"... ...so I killed his parents and locked him in a cupboard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops