How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Eight, because there's one tickle per tentacle!

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There's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead who sit next to each other in college. They are good students and regularly do their homework.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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What did the cat say when someone pointed out that cats can't talk? Meow.

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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What did the black man say to the white man when the white man was drunk and naked on the roof dancing? Quit fucking around Brad and get off my roof or I'm calling the police because this is the third time this month.

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What is a haiku? Are they hard to come up with? Obviously not.

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you and then wash my hands directly after because boogers are gross

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Why was rebecca crying? Because her mum had just died in a house fire!!!

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What do you call a duck In Africa ? Screwed

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An Aisian failed a test

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What would happend if two nyan cats crashed into each other? It would be a great impact and we'd all be sad.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Evicted.

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Three muffins are walking next to each other in the dessert. The muffin on the right says "Hey now it's my turn to walk in the middle!"

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q ggggggggggggggggg

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How do you get a clown off a swing set? You throw an axe at his head when he's not looking.

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I treat women like I treat dead bodies. With respect.

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Q: how do you drown a blond A: put a mirror at the bottom of a pool

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Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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Q. How do you make time fly? A. It is highly impossible to make time fly for there is 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, and 60 seconds in a minute so therefore the time flows how it should and we do not have such power to do it even though many people claim they do when they know they really don't

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The Irish man was sober.

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richard is fag

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Q. why are black people so good at sports? A. Hardwork and dedication.

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I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one . Though , I do have cancer .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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