Why did the duck eat the chicken noodle soup? The duck was told that if he ate the chicken noodle soup on Fear Factor he would win $10,000. What he failed to realize was that he forgot to sign page 16 on the episode contract and did not win any money and was sued by Campbell's soup for copyright infringement.

What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

A drunk guy walks into a car

A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

What did the the girl say to the deaf boy after he asked her out? He doesn't know

penis

A man walks into a bar, unfortunately his brain condition killed him after the swelling in his brain reached a point where his family had to unplug him from a machine putting him in a medically induced coma.

Why didnt the boy eat his ice cream? Because he is dairy intolerant

Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN's ON FIRE!!!!!

waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches

Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

Roses are red violits are blue I have ADHD do you like cats?

girls are a lot like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

Does your face hurt? Because if it does, you might want to see a doctor.

Why couldn't Bruce drive a truck? Cause Bruce was a Fish.

What do giant panda bears eat? giant bamboo

knock knock who's there? ketchup ketchup who? better catchup with me!

Roses are red. Violets are violet.

Why didn't Kurt Cobain drive to work on Monday? He killed himself.

whats worse than one bee sting... two bee stings whats worse than two bee stings... the holocaust whats worse than the holocaust... three bee stings

Dear crush, I want to drink you

How much is a pet whale? $1350.99

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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