How do you stop a cat from urinating on your floor? Shoot it.

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Why didn't the boy eat chocolate yesterday Because he was allergic.

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I wouldn't consider the Titanic sinking to be a disaster, ????It is better down where it is wetter under the sea! ????.

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What's worse than getting your dog neutered? You being the dog.

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My heart is in my hands. Call an ambulance.

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Why do you put a baby in a blender face up? To see the expression on its face

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Q: A jew and asian and a normal white guy walk into a resturan, who orders the cheapest meal. A: the Asian, its 1940 and the jews dead

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knock knock Person A: who's there Person A: oh shit that was me

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a tumor Doctors give it 6 weeks before I die...

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What does greg and Ian have in common?

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hes climbing in your window, hes snatching your people up. Hes a fireman.

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What do you call a man with a gun? An accident waiting to happen.

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Why is the sky blue? Well it has something to do with The suns reflection off of all the waters on earth's surface.

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Why was the Tortous and the Hare written? So fat people will feel good about themselves.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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How do you kill a blonde? Irreversibly damage her vital organs to the point where she loses consciousness and will never wake again.

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How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

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I've got a great new 'Knock Knock Jock

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What did the pastor say to the rabbi? Hi (or some other greeting)

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Knock, knock. Who's there? It's Bob. Oh hi, Bob, come on in.

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what is red with 2 legs? half a cat

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Whats worse then people People copying other Anti-Jokes. People copying other Anti-Jokes about the holocaust.

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Wat do u call a priests shit Holy shit

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chuck norris once kicked a man verry hard that man proceded to lose contiosness and chuck norris was disqualified from the martial arts compatition

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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