How to make Ramen like a boss Step 1: get a promotion

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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Q: Were did suzy go after the explosion? A: Everywere

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What did Shaggy say to Scooby before they got in the Mystery Machine? Scooby, get in the Mystery Machine.

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Have you heard of that new jewish car? No, have you? No.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas eve? Hypothermia. What did the children get for christmas day? A traumatic experience when they tripped over his snow-covered corpse.

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What do you call a man with no legs or arms trying to ski? Impossible.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" And the horse says "I have cancer".

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what do you get when you cross ruddell with a chicken? still a prick

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Compton

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Roses are Grey Violets are Grey I am a dog.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take your fott off his head.

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If I met your mom before you was born, you would still be born.

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who is gay and sits next to me in my architecture class? James and austin!!!!

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How many gays does it take to change a light bulb? 1, even if hes not happy im sure he would still be able to change it.

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What's the difference between oreos and your opinion? I asked for your opinion.

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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Why did the fish fly It didn't

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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An Irishman walks out of a bar.

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What did the boy say after he hit his head? I just hit my head.

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Did you hear about the man who lost his right arm and left leg... He's ok now he's all right.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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