What is E.T. short for? He has small legs

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q. How many lemons does one person take to fill a ladder? A. Fish

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the boy sitting alone? Because all his friends died.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is a black guy's favorite hobby? Stamp collecting.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a black person playing basketball? An athlete

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead of getting hit by the plane because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and ever since he was 8 years old he has wanted to die with his body completely attached.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What follows 2 days of rain? Statistically more rain, but you'll have to check the weather report to be sure.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What is the difference between a baby and a tampoline? You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Abortion

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Windows Vista

thumb_up thumb_down +10

It was a beautiful day. Face.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's funnier than a rock. A funny rock.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

1. Why did sally fall of the swing? -because she had no arms. 2.Knock Knock -Who's there? Not sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why did the little girl eat grapes? because she felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

roses are red violets are blue i'm a schizophrenic and so am i

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the astronaut say when he stepped on the moon? Oops, sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. You racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

I like to rape children, then kill them, eat them and defecate them into a toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -50

The other day I saw this dog. It said woof.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I own two ferrets. I was merely stating something factual.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what's brown and sticky? A stick

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Women's Sports

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops