Why was the blonde fired from the factory? Repeated absences and violation of company policy.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

wanna hear a joke? i dont like kids wanna hear a lie? im typing with two hands wanna hear a another? my hand isnt on my weiner

thumb_up thumb_down -29

I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! What's good for the goose Is good for the gander I'm Donald Trump!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -92

Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was the man scared? Because he was being attacked by a giant tiger.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock, knock. Who is there? Child services, here to take your children. The following day, there is another knock at the door. Who is there? The police. The woman runs into the kitchen and kills herself.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walked into a metal bar, they were playing Metallica.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

You're Adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

my boloney has a first name its OSCAR, my boloney has a last name its MEYER.. now bend over son while i shove my boloney in ur butt!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I slept with a girl with aids and now I do and so does everybody else I have sex with

thumb_up thumb_down -105

Roses are red, violets are blue, I ate your horse.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats worse than being gay? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Nothing. His parents are dead and Santa doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what is worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why is life so hard? Because god isn't real

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti jokes are funny, but also not.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a wolf that eventually killed and ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple getting blow jobed by a giant squirrel

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the cook arrested? Tax evasion.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your family is dead, I killed them.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q: How many leprechauns does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Leprechauns aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +131

Found out my dad was gay the other day. Now I have to take him to dance clubs, take him to musicals and find the man who gave birth to me.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops