Why did the child get an 100% on a test?? Because they got all the questions correct.

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What did Timmy want for Christmas? Parents.

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pudding

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Y did a fat woman cross the rode? To get to McDonalds

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What Does the Duck Say? "Got any grapes?"

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Why doesn't Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesn't float!

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everyone. - Blake Woodman

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What did the kid say before he died Nothing he was terminally ill

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? Nothing, he's the same person

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Kids are cheering about the confetti at a birthday party, the mom says the twin towers just collapsed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, build up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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What's black, smoking, and sitting at the top of the stairs? Steven Hawking after a house fire.

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Why didn't the ghost go to the dance? He didn't exist.

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I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not so sure.

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How do you make Barack Obama upset? Stab him.

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Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

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A Nazi ran into a Bar.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? "Justin Bieber" And you let him in because he's a young talented singer.

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Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Meanwhile in the basement...an elderly man, who lives a lone and whose children lead their own lives and dont have much time for him, lies on the ground unable to move after having falling down the stairs. He has been there for 2 days. He is frightened and confused, he hears someone knocking and his hopes perk up, he tries to call but due to lack of water his mouths is too dry to do so. He sobs in frustration. Knock Knock [Silence] The old man cries, aware of his fate.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

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What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

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A child in Africa developed Malaria. He became very sick and died.

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Ding-Dong.............no knock-knocking required

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops