Lizzy doesnt shave or shower. She just went to the bathroom in the middle of the school hallway

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. It was a dead monkey.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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What did the man want for his birthday? Chicken dinner serves 2-3 people

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What's better than 24-year-olds? Twenty 4-year-olds.

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What did the grass say to the human "Hey" The human then screams and runs to safety

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What did the preist say to the other preist? 'hey! we're both preists!'

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Why did the door close? Because I closed it.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? Interrupting Cow who, unlike his quiet friends back on the farm, enjoys to speak when others are nearly finished with their sentence.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? It's the police, they ask the questions.

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Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

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What comes to mind when you say the word "Mind?" Your Mind

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Q. What did one wall say to the other wall? A. Peekaboo I see you.

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why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

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Why was the kid underwater? He hit a rock.

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Two strippers are out of work. So they turn to prostitution.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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I knew a little girl once. She was ate before she was seven.

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"Wow, that was so funny i fell off my dinosaur!" Dinosaurs went extinct in the late Cretaceous period, about 65 million years ago. Commonly believed by scientists across the world to have been caused by an ancient meteor that crashed in the current day Yucatán peninsula in Mexico. Also, even if you were around during the Cretaceous period, i assure you that no dinosaur would let you climb on top of it, let alone ride it while you're not highly terrified because of the sheer danger of the experience. Now unless you are 65 million years old, I highly doubt you laughed so hard that you fell off the dinosaur that you supposedly own.

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Fish for a man, he has food for tonight. Teach a man how to fish and he will have one more skill under his belt.

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Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

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What is the hardest part about rollerblading? Most commonly the balance part.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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