An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman went to the top of the Empire State building to have a penis measuring contest. The Irishman had the longest penis.

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Q: What do you do when the light burns out A: Just replace it with a bulb from a less used room

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Repeatedly raped by her alcoholic, child molesting father.

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Why did the man fall over? He was blind.

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Why did the woman fall off her bike?? Because someone threw a fridge at her!!!!!!

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A Mexican, German, and a black man walk into a bar... They promptly exit due to the access amount of tobacco fumes in the air.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the hospital because his wife has multiple STD's

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knock knock. Who's there? The delivery man.

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my friend is gay hes gay

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The driver was a loaf of bread

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Whats worse than dropping your apple? The Japanese earthquake!

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Customer: "I can't turn my computer on." Phone support: "Do you have power?" Customer: "Yes." Phone support: "Do you have fingers?" Customer: "No."

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Q: Whats better than getting raped by a dog? A: Getting raped by a cat.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, walls are inanimate things therefore it cannot talk.

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Whats worse than finding out that your family is dead? finding a worm in your apple

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have 2 legs

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What has lips and smells like a fish? A fish.

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handle bars except for the duck

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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What's the fastest animal on earth? An Ethiopian chicken.

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Get in the car.

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Little Johnny is sleeping overnight at a school camping trip. The teacher goes around to check tents to make sure everybody is falling asleep fine. Little Johnny, however, says, "Miss, I am scared of the dark. Can I sleep in your tent instead?" The teacher reluctantly agrees, finishes checking around and brings Little Johnny to her tent. "Miss, can I play with your belly button with my finger? My mommy lets me", asks little Johnny. The teacher reluctantly agrees. Suddenly, the teacher jumps up. "THAT WASN'T MY BELLY BUTTON!", she shouts. "Yeah," says Little Johnny. "Well that wasn't my finger, either."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops