THE GAME

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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Did you hear the one about the flying turtle? No? Okay I'll tell you about it. So one day there was a flying turtle. His name was Larry and he was a turtle that can fly. However, nobody believed that Larry can fly and he wanted to prove it. So the next day George, who was a flying octopus, called Jerry on his cell phone and told him a story about a Larry. Jerry, who was a media reporter, was so offended by his story and called the police. Question: What did the police say? Nothing because it was a made up story

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

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What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

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Q: How many light bulbs does it take to change a blonde? A: One, if she tries to swallow it.

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why do i love my iphone because its a very versatile electronic device with many uses and i can get the anti-joke app

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A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. Why? A. To get to the other side. A. Knock, Knock. B. Who's there? A. The chicken.

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What does a blonde's pussy taste like? The same as her brain, cabbage.

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Why did Sally cross the street? Because someone was gonna rape her if she didn't.

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Q. What do you call a child with no friends or family A. Adopted

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What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

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Teacher- "Sally Sue, a sentence that starts with I, please."\ Sally Sue- "I is..." Teacher- "no, no, Sally Sue, when you start with I, you must follow it with am." Sally Sue- "I am the 9th letter of the alphebet."

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What do you call someone who takes a toaster into their bath? Adele's number one fan.

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Why did everyone call the one-legged man Matt? Because that was his name.

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Why did Jane break up with DeShawn? Cause they grew apart

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An orphan falls off a cliff.

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What's a dead baby look like? I don't know, I don't fap with my eyes open.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares, it's a chicken.

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Where's my tractor?

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What did the snowman put on his head? Nothing; snowmen are inanimate.

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Bring him to shore and, if you are certified, perform cpr.

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I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer.

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Whats worse than having aids...... Being in school

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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