What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

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Once upon a time there were three aliens. The first alien landed in a school,The second alien landed in a market, and the third alien landed in a preschool. When the first one landed the teacher asked the students who wants to go to the computer lab,all the students said me! me! me! and the alien learned me! me! me! When the second one landed the businessman asked him what he wanted, and he saw a toy gun and it talks and the gun said gun! gun! gun! and the alien learned it and said gun! gun! gun! Then when the third alien landed one preschooler stole another preschoolers lollipop then he said "He stole my lollipop"! And the alien learned it and said "he stole my lollipop!" Then someone got murdered and the three aliens went there and the murderer detective asked "Who killed that man!" And the first alien said me! Me! Me! "What did you kill him with!" Then the second alien said gun! gun! gun! "Why'd you kill him!" Then the third alien said "He stole my lollipop!" And that's it folks! ????????????????????????????????

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What time is it when a cow walks into your house? The time that your mother arives.

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How many ants are in the kitchen? None. We killed them all.

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What do you tell a woman with no black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice but you're not an abusive partner.

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How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

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Know what's worse than being publicly embarrassed in front of your crush? Jeffrey dahmer

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why did the physics major drop out of college? because he stumbled onto a finding that made him contemplate life so much that he needed to go to africa to study where the source of the finding where he later caught AIDS from an infected village person, he was later flown back to the US where he was cured out of a miracle but later hanged himself because he was not allowed to go back to africa and find out the meaning of life.

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Why was the man full? He ate a meal.

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What Did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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The Labour Party.

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What is the difference between 1 and 2? 2 is a higher number than 1.

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i need teepee for my bunghole! jlr

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A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

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Imagine: You are trapped in a prizon cell with no doors, no windows, no furniture and completely sealed in with nothing. What do you do? Stop imagining!

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Do is the Most Famous Line on youtube Answer- Do the Flop

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A small child walks past a man on the street: Fortunately, as the man hates children he is perfect height to let a massive fart rip in his face on the way past. His mum looks disgusted. They carry on with their day.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The holocaust

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George Bush does not care about black people.

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Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

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What did the apple say to the Banana? ....Nothing... fruit don't talk

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How did the Pollack die? Cardiac arrest.

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What did the bird say on twitter? Tweet tweet.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a raging hard-on and was leering at him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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