What hurts like hell? HELL

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a person with no arms, legs, and teeth singing in the middle of the street while spinning? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A woman's opinion

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Hi

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What did the white male say to the black male who had just robbed a bank? I'm glad you have a reliable source of income to feed yourself and your family

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How does a black guy die? He doesn't , he's black

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the TV fall of a cliff? Because a nice man was donating it to the homeless shelter which hangs over a cliff. The man placed the TV in the back room on the floor. There was a weak spot on the floor and when the fattest homeless person walked over the floor, the floor broke which was a HUGE inconvenience because he TV and the fat man fell through the floor and over the cliff, luckily the TV was plugged in so it was hanging by the cord but an old lady with Alzheimer's forgot that there was a hole in the floor and unplugged the TV so she could clean the switches. In the end the TV fell off the cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who is driving? They take turns due to the fact it is a long trip.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

do you like fishsticks? yes they are quite delicious

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why Did Suzie fall of the swing? She has Polio and will die the Next Day

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than biting into your apple and realising it has a worm in it? subsequently realising that the worm is a Swamp Adder, the worlds smallest venemous snake. Then you look up and realise you're in the Sahara Desert. You wonder where the snake came from and how it got in the apple.. Then you slowly die.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

how do u talk to a person you like go up and talk to them

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what did the boy with no hands get for christmas Gloves!!! just kidding i dont know he hasnt opened the box yet

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A black guy walks into a bar. He falls unconscious and an ambulance is quickly called to bring him to the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

So 2 apples are having sex, and one apple sais to the other, I got worms.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you make a blond to shoot herself? You give her a gun and than ask her to pull the trigger.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you make a plumber sad? You murder his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

whats worst than school? the earth exploding whats worse than the earth exploding? the sun exploding whats worse than the sun exploding? 10,000 suns exploding

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why did Jen fall off the swing? because she had no arms. knock knock who's there not Jen

thumb_up thumb_down -7

So when I came home from work the other day, I saw tha my dog was foaming at the moth, so I took him to the vet It turns out that my dog didn't have a thing for marshmallows but had rabies instead and was promptly put down.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Snooki want smoosh smoosh

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops