Roses aren't blue Violets aren't red She was my ex wife But now she's just dead.

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Why are Chinese people only allowed one child? Because their government states so.

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A fish swims into a wall. Says dam.

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how may horses can you fit in a blender i can't remember what is red and goes 100KPH a horse in a blender

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A man walks into a store and asks for a loaf of bread.

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John has 38 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

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Man walks into a hotel on Friday, Stays for three days and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? A. His horses name was Friday

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Thats a matter of opinion

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how did the tree fall on the woman? it didnt, trees dont grow in kitchens

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I lost my tractor.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the horrors of factory farming.

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How do you drown a blonde? Well there are a few ways, including holding her head underwater until she passes out and then leaving her in the pool.

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What did Voldermort say to harry potter? i raped you mum last night!

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If yesterday was friday, today is saturday, what day is it tomorrow? sunday

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How do you know when a guy wants to have sex with you? When he rapes you

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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A man with a barbie doll walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says "I bet you $100 that I can turn this barbie doll into a beautiful lady". The bartender laughs and says "Okay." The man takes out a brush and begins brushing the doll's hair. Seconds later the man has a seizure and falls to floor a dies. It turns out he was a drug addict and had a fatal over dose. The bartender never got his $100.

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A cat jumped into a swimming pool It drowned and was cremated.

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A black man, a Asian, and a Jew fell into a pit and because of a lack of water they all died.

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How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kidnap his family.

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2 people with ADD are playing baseball. One of them pitches to the other guy and the other guy swings his arms around, misses, then gets hit by a baseball bat. The batter then realized he was the pitcher and the other guy has gone off chasing after a bird that just flew by.

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE I HAVE AIDS NOW YOU DO TOO

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How do you know when a bag of chips is stale? It is past the expiration date.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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