Did you hear about the big Polish tragedy? There was a power outage in Poland's busiest shopping mall, People were stuck on the escalators for 4 hours. A woman gave birth in the elevator and died.

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How did the blind man watch T.V? With the captions on.

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Your mom

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How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car?.. Your Imagination

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what do you call a guy with no arm and legs laying by the door? Matt! what do you call a guy with no arms and legs floating on water Bob!

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balls in ya mouf

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Q: Why is 8 afraid of 9? A:Because 9 killed 8's family

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Q: What do you get when you cross an Elephant and a Rhinoceros? A: Merriam-Webster defines "cross" as "an affliction that tries one's virtue, steadfastness, or patience." This comedic exercise is one such affliction.

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What has 5 legs, 4 eyes, and 8 stomachs? Nothing.

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What does the Fawkes say? "Remember, remember, the 5th of November..."

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What is white a can't climb up a tree? A fridge.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my name is cartman, kyle you're a jew

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How do you get a cat out of a tree? Throw a jar of foreskin at it.

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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hi

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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While I was walking home from school one day, James Brown jumped out of a bush and punched me in the face. Then, when I got home, there was a walrus sitting on my couch. He then turned to look at me and said, "Penis". I then immediately farted out blades of grass.

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A: Knock Knock B: The door is open please come in.

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How do you know a blonde's been in your refrigerator?? There's lipstick on the cucumber!

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What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

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I love Japan. It's the bomb.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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(Guy)That's what she said. (His Girlfriend) And who is this she.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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