- Anti Joke

Hey, come here often? No.

How do you get all the apples off of an apple tree? You pick them

What do Ethiopians do for dinner? Starve.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

What's the difference between a duck?

A man and woman was sitting at a bar. The man bought the woman a roofied drink and she has never been seen again.

i named my son Frodo because he was little

Knock Knock! Who's there? Jim. Jim who? Jim your cousin. Kathy then let Jim inside her house and helped him carry the pizza boxes into the kitchen. Everyone had fun and enjoyed the party very much that night.

A child walk's into a bar. And gets sexually abused.

Roses are red Violets are blue I am adopted And so are you

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her: what did your last slave die of? him: syphillis

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

A boy grows up loving tractors. For birthday and Christmas each year he got a tractor toy of some kind, until the age of 17, when he finally gave up tractors and got himself a CD player. One day, listening to all the latest tunes with some headphones, he looks outside to see his neighbour's house on fire. He goes outside to find firemen trying to put out the blaze. He jumps into the blazing house and inhales as much as he can, which astonishingly puts out the blaze. A fireman confusing asked "How did you do that?" The boy replies, " I'm an ex-tractor fan."

Whats lemon scented and you shouldn't drink? Bleach

Why did the chicken cross the road? Just kidding, it got hit by a car on the way to the other side.

This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well crap whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

i bought a knock-knock joke book, and was unamused.

What did the black kid get for Christmas? Probably not too much considering the socio-economic climate present in the majority of African American communities in our country.

So there were these two ovens in a muffin. One oven said "Holy fuck it's muffiny in here." The other oven said "Holy fuck a talking oven!"

How did the gay guy greet the other gay guy? Nice to meet you.

Why was the boy upset? Because he has a frog stapled to his face.

Why did Jack got late to his date? Because he was playing Call of Duty and forgot about the time.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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