Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you smoke, the blacker your lungs get.

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she cant use it, she is fat.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? *cause 7 8 9? NO cause 7 was a n**ga!

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Q: Why was the american flag red, white, and blue? A:Because that's how it is!

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What's funnier than 68? Will ferrel

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What did jesus REALLY say while walking on water? "I really hope I find a nice patch of sand to swim in."

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Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

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What's red and smells like a rose? Bumble-bees licking honey off of a stick.

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What's worse than having to watch your dad rape your mom? Having to watch your mom rape your dad.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Why does it matter, they can't chuck wood in the first place.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the cross light said signal said "GO"

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Let's make like your mother and walk out on your family during pre-adolescence.

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Why is red? He was just murmured by a phycopath.

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yo mama has one big titty and one small titty and the call the bitch paul

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why did the baby cross the road? i stapled his head to a chicken!

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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What looks like half of an apple? The other half.

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Q: What did a rock say to a Another Rock? A: Don't take things for Granite!

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Whats more worse than a dead baby? You shouldn't be thinking about dead babies or stuff worse than them, it is sad.

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How many testicles did Adolph Hitler have? Two.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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No, I had no idea, nor did I know that Nero means Black or Darkness until I searched it up some weeks ago. No, I would never photoshop anything, I mean sure I am the girl/woman thing with the big tits, but that`s like all I got going... Oh and yeah I use glasses sometimes because these contact lenses become itchy after a while and stuff.

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How do you make a nerd cry? Give him a 99% on a test.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops