What did the blade of grass say to the other blade of grass? Nothing, as grass does not have the capability of speaking and does not have a brain, all it has is a complex life system where it feeds off water. If it were to say anything though, it would say, "Hey! We're both blades of grass!"

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what are three words that are never used together in the same sentence ...... salid taste good

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Why is Kyle so gay. Nobody knows

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A man walks into a bar. and buys a drink.

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There is no joke here, stop reading.

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Good for him. Thats wonderful!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because numbers, like people, are afraid of all things bigger than themselves

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What did the vampire use to make tea? Hot water, a kettle, and some nice green tea leaves given to him by his great uncle for kwanza.

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Why did billy have a frog stapled to his face? Because he was having a bad day.

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What did the man say to the bartender when he wanted a beer? Get me a beer.

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Q. Why did the Unicorn die A. It got hit by a Bus

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Obama lin Baden.

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sexual intercourse.

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What is worse then Hitler? Shelly's Cooking.

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He had a heart attack

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What did the explorer say to the new species Oh look it says squirtle let's call it squirtle Oh look it say woof let's call it poochyena

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Why did Rosie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus...

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-Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? -No. -Well niether has he.

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So Jimmy's phsycology teacher is trying to think of beginnig lessons for her phsycology class. so she gets up and says "class, i want u anyone who thinks they are stupid to stand up." nobody stood up. then Jimmy stands up. The teacher says "Jimmy, u think u are stupid?" Jimmy replies "No, i just felt bad with u standing up all alone."

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Your momma is so fat, she doesn't have a birthday. She has a birthweek.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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