Why does life hand you lemons? Because it sucks enough, so it wants you to have some.

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How does Moses like his tea? Hebrews it.

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you first

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there was this kid who was perfectly well-adjusted, had most normal things a person needs and a generally good life. what did he get for Christmas. non-hodgkins lymphoma.

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I LOVE MASTURBAITING ALL DAY!!!!

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Yo momma so fat she couldn't even fit in a house

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what's red and smells like blue paint? im color blind

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Top ten reasons Microsoft Doors is better than Microsoft Windows. 1. Easier to open. 2. Doors do not crash... Windows does! 3. Watching pron? Your mother around? JUST SLAM THAT SHlT ON HER FACE! 4. Saves power! (Its easier to just shut and open doors) 5. Doors are a lot easier to get trough than windows. 6. When windows wishes you welcome the first time you install it, you still cant wipe your damn feet on it! 7. Its easier to surf on the internet on top of doors than on windows. 8. While Windows is easy to hack because you can try codes forever, you can just buy a good lock on your door and shut it. 9.The sun glaring on your screen trough your windows? GET MICROSOFT DOORS! 10. I dare you make one, i live doing this shit. Capcom before. And special thanks to you! Thanks for playing! Capcom now: Fuck off thats not DLC paywall! its actual downloadable only content! Just pay 45 bucks to get all colors to all characters.... ...Downloading Allcolors 10kb

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Q:What is a black guy running with an iPod in his hand? A: A person who enjoys to listen to music while running.

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How Long is a Chinese man.

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Three men walked into a bar. None were injured because they were all wearing hard hats as is the procedure for a construction site.

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while having sex, the boy asked, "how many ears do elephants have?" his father answered, "two"

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-Why didn't a girl cry after she fell down with her bike? -Because a handlebar pinned her lung.

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Roses Are Red Violits Are Blue Screw it RUN!!

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What's red and bad for youur teeth? A brick.

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800000000000000000?0?00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000?0000 I hate you

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What's the difference between a bicycle? An orange because it has no sleeves.

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A child logs on to antijoke.com he is a chronic masturbator

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Why did the lonely man stop talking? He was alone.

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Breanna baked a pie. what kind of pie was it? A JIMMY PAI

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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You know you guys are suppose to post jokes, not basketball comments.

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Why did the priest touch the little boy? To Baptise him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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