Why did Steve put his trumpet in the fridge? He had begun the early stages of dementia and was becoming increasingly confused and detached from reality. Also he was German.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

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What do you call a fat man who can turn slim? I don't know

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like poems What rhymes with poem?

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What's green and frolics in the forest? A flock of cucumbers.

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Blonde: Hey, what does "Idk" mean? Blonde's friend: "I don't know" Blonde: Thank you for telling me, that has been bothering me for quite some time now.

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What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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Q. Why did the boy throw up on the bus? A. All his friends around him died in the accident

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What did the sad orphan with liver cancer get for Christmas? Pictures of dead babies to put things in perspective.

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If I said "This AntiJoke will get thumbs up" It will get thumbs up

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Your momma is so fat, she doesn't have a birthday. She has a birthweek.

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That awkward moment when Amish mingle has a member

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How did the American man get the Mexican man to jump over the wall? He didn't, after several attempts he then got a ladder and climbed over.

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What do you call Chuck Norris being killed? This is impossible so we are not give it a name.

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How do you confuse a Muslim? - Rub his belly.

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How did the gymnast fall off the beam? Got shot in the face

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What do you call a Mexican on the moon? Quite an unusual circumstance consedering Mexico doesn't currently have a space program. Not only that but Nasa hasen't even had people going to the moon since the 1970s.

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why do black people hate whites? their is no light in the ghetto

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Tyler: Hey, James if you were a cavemen you would die. James: Why? Tyler: Because everybody hates you.

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What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Whatever his name happens to be.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they work hard at it

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A black man boards a plane. He enjoys the rest of the flight in first class.

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A dog is always in the pushup position.

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Why is Finnish taxi driver smiling while driving? He's happy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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