Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone? Because she had no arms. Knock, Knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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What did zero say to ten? I see you found someone

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang-rape.

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Q: What do you call a black person flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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Do you know the Muffin Man? Of course you don't, faggot.

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why did the man die? he was shot

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew. The pizza doesn't scream in the fire

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Libyans stage a protest. They get massacred.

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Go in public and say this You-it smells like up sexy in here Person-what's up sexy? You-nothing much, how about yo

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What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am ADD Bird

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What's black and white and red all over? A penuin that got bit by a sea lion.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How do you kill Osama Bin Laden? Get The Navy Seals To Infiltrate his compound.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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knock knock who's there greg greg who greg is crying because his grandma dementia made her forgot all about him

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1-1 was a race horse, 1-2 was one too, 1-1 won one once and 1-2 won one too

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What did the senator do after he typed he email? He clicked the send button.

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Knock knock Whos there An axe murderer oh sweet come on in.... dinners on the stove and i am here all alone

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Yo momma so fat, she has large amount of fat deposited in her body

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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