What happens if a guy is gay? You call him Verl.

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Q: What did Steve say to his teacher on the first day of school? A: "My name is Steve."

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An Irish man, an English man, and a Scottish man are standing on the edge of a cliff. The English man and the Scottish man both fall of. The Irish man calls the authorities to alert them of this tragic misfortune.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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I'm so hungry, I could eat an adequately sized meal

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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knock knock you may come in

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What did the midget say to the other midget? "We're midgets"

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A man walks into a bar an orders a few pints. He then goes home and brutally rapes his wife and chains his staring kids to a fencepost in the backyard along with their deceased dog named Spot.

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What was the pirate movie rated? It was rated R for its graphic depiction of the continuing violence in Somalia.

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why did Sarah fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock! who's there? not Sarah.

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What do you call an indian who is underwater? A scuba diver.

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What do you call a chicken with no head? A chicken with no head.

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

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Whats worse than the holucaust.......... Nothing

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Why did the fireman go to the police station? He didn't go to the police station, he went to the fire station.

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I dont hate you Lets just say if you were on fire and i had water id drink it

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Roses are red, Bacon is also red. Poems are hard, Bacon.

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Three jews walk into a bar. The bar is hosting a bar mitzvah.

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HEYEEYAHEYAYYAEEAHHAAA

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Q:If Ryan Vallee walks into a room what do you do? A:Walk out -Ryan V

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Do you believe in love at first site? Or should I walk by again?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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