What is similar between a penguin and a newspaper? If you kill a penguin, then grind it up into a fine powder, then the penguin becomes a newspaper.

What do you call a black man driving a police car? Officer

3 men walked into a bar... They sat down and had a beer.

What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing they just waved

What's the difference between meat and fish? You can't beat your fish.

What's gay and gay? Joe

How many gun shots does it take to kill you? 1..2... 3...4... Samantha reapeatedly kept shooting her enemy until she noticed that her enemy was Chuck Norris. So how many gunshots does it take to kill Chuck Norris? The world may never know.

And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

There are two types of people in the world: humans

Why did the police officer shoot the man in the wheelchair? Says the police: "He was running"

What's worse than breaking your leg and not being able to walk? Breaking your neck because you will most likely not be able to walk from the high probability of being paralyzed for the rest of your life.

Knock knock Who's there? Prost Prost who Prostitute

Knock Knock! Who's there? ....Mrs Murray silently returned to her armchair, a single tear rolling down her weathered cheek. Her lonely existence deepened, as she realised the gang of boys had fooled her again.

Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the shed I'm gonna screw you

What do I have in common with your mum? We're in the same bed right now.

Q: Why don't blind people skydive? A:Because it is scary

How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a very challenging question.

woman's rights

Why did the black guy drink the kool aid? Because there was a glass of kool aid next to him and he was thirsty.

knock knock whose there? you have AIDS

Roses are red Violets are twisted bend over now your about to get fisted

Did you hear about the homeless man? He asked me if I had any spare change. I didn't. I found the encounter to be very depressing.

Why are some people so awesome? Because their black.

What has five letters and sounds like "trucks?" Vroom

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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