-_- i like trains ... -_-

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the paper towel say to the tomato? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What does A duck smoke? Quack

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A mosquito flies into a bar and orders a bloody mary, the bartender then takes out a swatter and kills the pest. Noticing the event, the patrons cheer and continued drinking their frothy beverage. Minutes later, the phone rings and the bartender answers the phone. "Hello?" "Hi, I'm looking for a friend of mine, is he there?" "Let me check, by the way, what's his name?" "Jack Hoff" "One sec. HEY FELLAS(yelling over the noisy bar), IS THERE A JACK HOFF HERE? I NEED A JACK HOFF! ANYONE?" Mr. Hoff, sitting at the bar hears this and asks, "who is it?" "He said he's a friend of yours!" "Which one?" " He said his name's Dick Stroker and he needs help on something hardhe'll meet you around back." "Oh ok, thanks."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats the difference between a hoover and a harley? one is a vacuum, and the other is a motorcycle.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

how do goldfishes drown? you pull them backward water fills there lung and there die

thumb_up thumb_down -29

really desperate to get laid guy gives out phone number in random places 5802352343 :D

thumb_up thumb_down +30

i was going to say a gay joke butt f*** it.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is the best school in Victoria? Lyndale.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walks into a bar, he then falls unconscious and driven safely to the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Scenario: 2 astronauts kayaking in the sahara dessert Question: How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse Answer: Purple, because ice cream has no bones

thumb_up thumb_down +1,322

-Knock Knock - no one respond , they were brutally murdered by a drug addict.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds? They've reached sexual peak but aren't yet past it. Plus, they still aren't in their 30's.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a fat kid? I don't know...you tell me

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why was the presidential candidate sad? He mother was raped on her way to hear his speech and his brother hung himself in his apartment two days earlier.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a guy who acts straight but is really not? Verl.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do blacks and the night have in common? Their both worse than when it's light

thumb_up thumb_down +8

You can teach a man to fish but you cant teach a fish to man

thumb_up thumb_down -38

a Mexican and a black guy were sitting in the back of a car, who is driving? -- a cop

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Joe used to always talk about his family and his two wonderful kids Joe can no longer talk to or about his family because his smoking habits have gotten out of control

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops