What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

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What's funny about a blond, a brunette, and a red-head, drunk in a Cadillac? Everyone knows integration is a myth.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating on the water? Dead.

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Theres a crazy ass alpaca ready to take a shit on you

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Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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i just got all five seasons of big bang theory in the mail for xmas... i'm divorcing my wife.

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A stop sign walks into a bar. Looks like somebody invented walking stop signs.

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if life hands u melons, make melonade.

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Knock Knock Come in

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You're Mother's so fat, she sat on a chair, and it broke.

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What us black and white and read all over The newspaper

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What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? Monks do not speak.

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why was the little girl afraid of the dark because she was brutally raped in the dark when she was 4.

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I won the game.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my penis, so suck it baby.

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Why did the white supremacist stab the black man? He believed his race to be superior to that of the black man, thus he resorted to violence in order to display his supremacy.

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what do you call a black man at a school. coach.

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There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your Fallopian tubes ripped out by wolverine

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An iguana walks out of a bar

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Why is Dave's baby dead? Because his wife threw it into the path a Big-rig.

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"knock knock" "whos there?" there was no response from the other side but the knocking continued, the homeowner felt distressed so phoned the police...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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