Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Whats the differnce between love and herpies Herpies last forever

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

It's easy to take part, just type your text below! no

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A zebra and a giraffe are out in a safari and they see some humans. And then the cow, was drinking, the man was milking the drink, when the giraffe was going to buy some milk. She said, the was yeah okay.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it was a refrigerator. Why did the little girl die? Because she was hit by two monkeys and a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the man have 3 girlfriends? A: because he is a womanizer

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a black woman working at a bar? A Bartender. What do you call an asian woman working at a bar? A Bartender.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did William commit suicide? Because his grandmother had recently died of terminal cancer. His mother left him on the front step when he was two, and moved to Tennessee with her baby daddy.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

If I had a penny for every time I said the word "the" I would have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a black lady with big boobs? Oh, wait, it's just a fat black guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Sometimes while i am play my music loudly in my apartment my neighbor knocks on the wall He is slowly losing his grip on reality and believes the wall is a door

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the old man get the anti aging cream ? He failed 8th grade 50 times.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

look at the top of your screen. now look down. I MADE YOU DO THAT

thumb_up thumb_down -9

hey justin

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Yo momma was so ugly that everybody died.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the boy climb the tree? To get to the top. - Driiiftz

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A sad-looking man entered a bar. The barman asked, "why so sad?" The man replied, "I have a terminal illness."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the student get the math question wrong? -Because hes dead

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the man shoot up the movie theater? Because he spent his whole child hood playing Call of Duty Black Ops II, Left 4 Dead 2, and Minesweeper. And video games, are the only thing that would rive someone to shoot up a movie theater.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house. "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "The chicken"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

when life gives you lemons your like wait how did i get these lemons??

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How is butter and your mom similar? They both consist of much fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops