What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fish, just because it has a disability it doesn't mean you can treat it any differently

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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Kid 1 Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken. Kid 2 Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys. Kid 1 You know what? I think you're right Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

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Your mother is so ugly that nobody wants to date her because she is hideous.

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rosie o'donald goes on a diet

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What did the lemon say to the turtle? If you think the lemon said anything, something is wrong with you.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a beer, drinks it and walks out.

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A young girl falls off a swing, she is paralysed from the neck down and unable to walk every agian.

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What's the biggest difference between the East and West Coast? About 3,000 miles.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Find a half-worm.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it ain't gonna.

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Pain is temporary. However, the scars from 3rd degree burns are forever.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What did the retard say to the other retard? *(incoherent gibberish)*

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I dislike old people.

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What do you can an astronaut with an apple? Never mind, I have a boner.

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Why was the little girl crying? She got raped by a giant scorpion.

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What do you call 1000 black men walking down a street? The million man march

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Why didn't the black man eat lunch? Because his lunch asked him not to eat it.

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Q. What's a pirate's favorite type of movie? A. It depends on the individual pirate, although most modern-day pirates are from third world countries like Somalia and so are too poor to be able to watch many movies. Classical pirates like those depicted in Treasure Island or Pirates of the Carribean are, of course, from a period of history before movies had been invented, so couldn't possibly have had a favorite.

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Two nuns in a bath, one nun says to the other "wears the soap?" the other confused replies "I am sure you mean 'where' is the soap" and hands her the soap.

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What were Benjamin Franklin's first words after he died? It's been 225 years and we still don't know yet.

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penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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