A man works at a brick factory. He is told by his boss that if he is to steal any brick from the factory, he will be sacked. But every day the man steals one brick and puts it in his lunch box to take home and is not caught. One day he has enough bricks to build a house, and he says "When I build this house there will be none left over". The house is now built and while the man is taking a look around he stubs his toe on something, he looks down to see a brick and he sighs, picks up the brick and throws it in the air. There are two pilots driving a plane, one has a dog and one has a wardrobe. One pilot says to the other "I don't particularly like dogs" then the other pilot says to him "I don't really like wardrobes". They then make an agreement and throw both the wardrobe and the dog out the window. Five minutes later one pilot looks out the window out onto the plane wing, and guess what he sees? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the cow stop running? - He ran out of breath

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

thumb_up thumb_down +60

The government

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Your computer will self - destruct in 5 seconds

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man visits an anti joke site looking for some humor. realizing that its not funny, he closes the window.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

- How do you keep an idiot in suspense? - How? -......

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Suzie has no arms. Knock Knock (whos there?) Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

two peanuts were walking down the street. but one was unsalted...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than losing your job? Getting thrown into the sun.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

i'm not gay

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference bettween the holocaust and a bee, 6 million jews died during the holocaust. Bees make honey.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Your Mama is so old, that she is probrably going to die pretty soon.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you think 3 black men want when the come and knock on your car window? They just want directions.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Yo momma's so hot I raped her and slit her throat afterwards and hid her body in a ditch.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How do you get a Black Person out of a tree? Well, if he is stuck call 911 itmediatly!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q:what has legs but may never walk? A: a table

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did Jimmy pass out Cause he drank a full tallboy

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops