A marine biologist is captured by a group of violent pirates. After hours of being tortured, the pirates make him walk the plank. As he is pushed on to the plank, they ask him for his one last request. He responds "Kill yourselves." The pirates proceed to stab themselves until they bleed out and the marine biologist is the last man on the boat.

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Roses are red Violets are blue And so does your mom…

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What happens when a black man falls out of a tree? He gets hurt.

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What do you get when you cross a duck and a pig? A media circus that focuses on the morals and ethics of genetic engineering.

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What's worse than a dead baby? The corpse is chopped into little pieces And is put in a blender. Worse than that? An alive baby stuffed into a blender. Worse than that? Hellen Keller put into a blender. Worse than that? The holocaust.

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Paul walker: Breaks, stop Breaks: no

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What's the difference between Hitler and Stalin? Nothing because pineapples aren't vegetables.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? A Derrick Rose jersey.

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What's puby and dandruffy? Aodhan Hearty

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Q: What's worse than one dead baby at the bottom of a trash can? A: One dead baby in ten trash cans.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead. Q: Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? A: Because he was stapled to the monkey.

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What's grey and can't swim? A castle.

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How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

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how do u get a bonar? u look at your mum!!

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What do you get when you cross a Minotaur with a snowman? A cold mythological creature.

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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when debbie meets downer

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Three men walk into a bar. A fourth man ducks.

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What's funnier then the holocaust? A second one.

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Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

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Why can't Osama bin Laden make anymore terrorist attacks? He's dead.

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Johnny has 30 pints of ice cream. He eats 25 pints. What does Johnny have? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

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Walt disney Walks Into A Bar, The Bartender says "WOAH ITS WALT DISNEY!"

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Doctor, I am afraid of doctors, I dont even dare seek them up. Janitor: Thats quite apparent... Dr.Moral:

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops