Relax, and I do not mean as in hypnotic "relax as you do not not... Okay I used it again I am just joking" Nice, so are they like pretty doubles or not?

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

What's more boring than watch grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

OK, A plane carrying 200 passengers crashes on the border between America and Canada. Which side of the border do you bury the victims? Well, it would depend on where the passengers where from or what they had stipulated in their living will. I suppose some would be cremated which opens up a whole other can of worms entirely.

The geese of Growmore

What did the pedephile do to the young boy? Smiled at him, said hello, and kept on walking.

What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

Do you know what Ethiopian food tastes like? Neither do they

Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

A black man and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? The mexican, the black man broke his arm and the mexican is driving him to the hospital.

this website...

What is black, white, and red all over? Obviusly a sunburned panguin.

Why did sally fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Whats big, tall and fat? Most of America.

Why did the white man rub the black man's hair for good luck? Because it's good luck to rub a black man's hair.

Pencils are yellow, Grass is green OK

Knock Knock. Who's there? Your worst nightmare!! Ohh.... Do come in it's raining outside.

I'm gay. Great me too.

why did the chicken cross the road Kill yoself

Why did the black man win the staring contest? He's good at staring

For as long as i can remember, i've had memories

What did Goldilocks say to the three bears? She asked them how bears make porridge without opposable thumbs.

Why did the black guy hate the white guy??? Because the white guy enslaved his ancestors.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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