Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenia, and don't have any friends

Your mom is so fat she should be concerned about her increased risk of heart failure.

the WNBA

Three black guys walk into a gym and play a rigorous game of basketball for an hour

How do you drown a blonde? Hold her head under water.

What do you get when you multiply a trillion times a billion times a quintillion? A huge ass number.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Osama Bin Laden. Oh wait...

What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree and lands on you, you'd die? A pool table.

When life gives you lemons. You make beef stew. #andymilinokis

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

husband : honey , can i have stuff candy wife : no husband : can i have milk and cookies wife : what kind of milk wink wink husband 2% you pervert

Why couldn't santa eat cookies and milk at little Jimmy's house? He has diabetes and is unable to stray from a strict diet prescribed by his local doctor.

An Irishman stays home

28

What did the man who was punched in the throat say to his friend?

An Italian, a black man, and a small child walk into a bar. Shortly after it blew up due to a gas leak. 67 people perished.

What's funnier than Mexicans? Whats funny about Mexicans?

sixty....eight.

What do homeless people get for Christmas? Nothing, they are homeless.

What do you call a pickle that is sad? A pickle!????

whats better than a dead baby..... wait..... whats worse than a dead baby...... never mind its not that funny anymore

Why did the cow puke up his grass? Because it is necessary so that the cow can re-chew his food to aid with the digestion.

How did two Jews react when they saw a quarter on the sidewalk? They agreed to donate it to charity.

What did the Canadian Goose say to the Snow Goose? You're white.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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