Roses are red, violets are blue; So go in bed, where I'll join you...

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A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left? 499. How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge. How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge. The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it? The deer: He is still in the fridge. An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party The old lady dies at the edge of the swamp. How? A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

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Got milk? No.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was A bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy went through chemo. Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy was he?

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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What's big, grey and can't swim? A castle

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...Jack Vale

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Person 1) Yo mama's so fat Person 2) My mother died in a horrible car accident last week

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What do you call a black Arnold Schwarzenegger? Arnold Schwarzenegger.

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Waseem likes to talk with his mouth full.

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A Muslim terrorist walks onto a bus, with the mindset to blow him and the other 27 people up*. Before he steps onto the bus, he realizes the error in his ways and decides to not follow through. He goes to the airport instead.

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A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

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Once upon a time there was a little puppy. He then grew old and died.

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why do asian people eat each other? because they are cannibles

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What happend when Chuck Norris did a push up? He did one push up.

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When life gives you melons, you know you're dyslexic.

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness ... Hello?

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A pregnant woman takes the bus, once inside she realizes that there are no seats. No one was pollite enough to let her sit down so she felt pretty uncomfortable on the way home.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Shes dead.

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What happened at the finish line of the marathon? People collapsed in exhaustion, it was a marathon.

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Yo' mama so stupid, she has a lower IQ than the average person.

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What happens if you throw a red ruby into the black sea? It gets wet.

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Jessica walks into a bar jokes jessica cant walk

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What's worse than the holocaust? The Russian Revolution

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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