What happened at the finish line of the marathon? People collapsed in exhaustion, it was a marathon.

Hey! did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she...

What did the pedephile do to the young boy? Smiled at him, said hello, and kept on walking.

Two women were sitting in silence.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to.

There's a American, Mexican, and a Canadian stranded in the desert. They couldn't find any food, water, and shelter. They were all really hungry and thirsty. Later that day the Mexican dies from a very bad infection on his neck.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the chicken.

Why did the passenger plane crash? Well, if not mechanical failure or human error, probably because a bomb was detonated onboard.

How do you starve colored people? deny them food stamps

What's the difference between a train and a lamp? A lot

why didnt the deaf man laugh? he was also mute

What do you call a diving-board factory worker threatening to jump off the roof? Names.

Why couldn't the blonde divide 5 by 0? Because it's impossible to divide by 0.

What has human male genitalia? A human male

Why did the lion get lost? -The jungle is massive

I have the heart of a child... in a jar on my desk.

An elderly lady walks into an elevator. She falls over and I kick her in the head.

Two guys walk into a bar, one is treated for a concussion.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

Knock Knock Who's There? Bad-mannered Bad-mannered who? F*ck Off

One day, Little Timmy asked his mother this question, "Mommy, why are boys and girls different?" She responded, "You're adopted and Santa Claus is dead."

when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a black eye.

3 black men walk into a bar. They order their drinks, tip the bartender, and could not have been more courteous.

What do you call a dragon that doesn't breathe fire? A Griffin.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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