Why did the Jewish man kill his wife? Who cares.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Dear John,

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a big dick, Lets have sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

if it's friday, it must be China

thumb_up thumb_down -13

suck my a s s i hate mother f u c k e r s in my mother f u c k i n g crib

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A salad, hes on a diet

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a duck with a mustache? A duck with a mustache.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the mushroom go to the party??? Cuzz he was a fungi (fun guy)

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he felt the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies,"You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

So this guy tells me he hasn't had a bite in weeks. So i bought him lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down +114

Roses are red, violets are blue; So go in bed, where I'll join you...

thumb_up thumb_down +108

I have read and agree to terms of service.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

-What's brown and rhymes with snoop? -Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +60

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

When my Xbox died, my girlfriend said: "Finally, you can treat me the same way you treated that thing!" So I tapped her so hard that she died

thumb_up thumb_down +50

My dog has no nose, so how does it smell? It can't, I just told you it has no nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What's the difference between a black man and water? All black men have water in them, but not all water has a black man in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What do nine out of ten people enjoy? Gang rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, go ask the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is common to find chickens and other wild and/or domesticated animals roaming through the streets in a multitude of countries.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

A Muslim terrorist walks onto a bus, with the mindset to blow him and the other 27 people up*. Before he steps onto the bus, he realizes the error in his ways and decides to not follow through. He goes to the airport instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

SPAMS!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops