How do you make a professional wrestler cry? You could stab him repeatedly with a box cutter and demand his social security number, but I wouldn't suggest it. He would most likely beat you up.

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Going to bed? Mind if I Slytherin?

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i like my women how i like my coffee ....i dont like coffee

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japan

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What's a thither? My sister with a lisp.

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Q: What did the anorexic girl do for thanksgiving? A: Nothing, she was paralyzed from a fall 2 days prior and nobody had found her yet.

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How did the blond's brain cells die? She had a very acute case of Parkinson's disease.

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What did the dog say when his family's grandmother came back to life from the dead and ate everyone? Nothing. This is a highly improbable situation, and furthermore, dogs cannot speak.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Why was the protester tied to a tree? They were tired of him protesting.

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Two corpses weigh in the wind. One is called Jones.

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How do you stop a plane? Throw flying birds at it.

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A man runs into a psychiatrist's office and screams, "You gotta help me doc! I just killed seven people in my office building!"

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What did the old man say to his grandson before he kicked the bucket?? "I wonder how far i can kick this bucket..."

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red Oh my gosh, my yard is on fire!!!

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You remind me of something. What? Summer Why because I'm hot? no because there is no class..

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You have never had sex because.... Well, look in the mirror and you'll see for yourself -Matt

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Q.why did the chicken cross the road A. To eat some Kentucky Fried Chicken get it KFC

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Where do cows go on the weekend? The slaughterhouse.

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? cancer

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

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wuts at the end of the world? nothing the earth is spherical and therefore does not have an end

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45.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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