What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time and Santa Claus is a very jolly fellow who brings gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve.

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why do asian people eat each other? because they are cannibles

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A man is walking on a beach when he finds a golden lamp. He rubs it and a genie comes out. The genie tells the man he will grant three wishes. The man wastes his wishes on material goods that do not bring him happiness.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

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What's worse than being raped? Finding out that because you were sexually violated, you are now a victim of unplanned pregnancy and have contracted AIDS and any number of other STD's from the horrible expirence that will forever haunt your nightmares.

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What did the pedephile do to the young boy? Smiled at him, said hello, and kept on walking.

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What happens if you throw a red ruby into the black sea? It gets wet.

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What happened at the finish line of the marathon? People collapsed in exhaustion, it was a marathon.

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What did Jerry Sandusky get for Christmas? Raped in jail.

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Why did the old man die? Because everyone dies

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"Oh yeah?!" "Yeah!" "You wanna go?!" "No, sorry. I got plans." (walks away)

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Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducked.

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A kid with no arms or legs is stuck in the desert. Sucks to be him.

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The chicken came before the egg. Because eggs are an unborn chicken, and it is impossible for an unborn chicken to ejaculate.

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I have the heart of a child... in a jar on my desk.

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Womens rights. Are extremely valuable because women are equal.

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What is the first step in making an ugly girl pretty? Shave her genitals.

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Your Mama is so poor. I begin to worry about you and your familys' finacial situation.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am.

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Why did the boy miss a day off school? He was in a coma

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Q) what happens when you tackle someone with 2 legs? A) you fall over

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Why did the man loose his balls? he had testicular cancer and had to get them removed.

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What did your father say before he died? Nothing, he's already dead

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink and then goes home and beats his wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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