Person 1: Do you like impressions? Person 2: Yes! P1: Why? ... P1: That was Socrates.

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steves legs

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Want to hear an anti-joke?

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bunge cord? My ass!

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What did the boy and girl do at the wedding? 69:)

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gesss what happen u promis not to tell anyone ok this is what happen !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOTHING

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It is cruel to want a "sky full of lighters" as, according to the Laws of Gravity, the lighters will eventually come back down to earth and incinerate everything below them.

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A man walks into a bar. His alcoholism is destroying his family.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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What happened to the little kid sitting next to a fat kid ? The little kid got DEVOURED

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Bing

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what's brown and sticky? a stick.

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Wanna hear 2 short jokes and a long joke? Joke, joke , joooooookkkeeee

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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A mushroom walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We don't serve your kind." the mushroom asked why, the Bartender said, "Because your under aged"

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What's orange and can fly through walls? A Magic Orange.

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if u r not my friend, like this joke

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What did one wall say to the other? Nothing, walls don't talk.

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What did the blind, def , dumb kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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suck my a s s i hate mother f u c k e r s in my mother f u c k i n g crib

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Whats worse than having no mother? Having no mother and father, enabling you to have to support a family at the age of 12, using the allowance that your parents are supposed to give you once a week.

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hi

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How do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the Brake

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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