- Anti Joke

What type of movies do pirates watch? None they are on a boat!

this website...

Knock-Knock "Who's there?" "The police, you're under arrest for the murder of your wife and your two children."

What did the guy say to the mushroom?

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Diarrhea

What did Jesus say to Moses? Jesus doesn't exist. Moses replied, "Do you think I'm stupid, you're standing right next to me!"

Hey Jim? What? Pass the stapler.

Knock Knock whose there? child abuse...

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' cheese

Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

The size of Idris Elba's penis

How do you kill a Russian? You shoot him with a gun.

Chocolate rain Awesome!

Q: What's worse then stubbing your toe? A: Coming home from school and your house is burnt down and your whole family is dead.

What do you call a cereal killing homeless man? Roofless

Whats big, hairy, and super long? My big toe you pervert.

How do you tell if your sister is on her period? Cause your dads dick tastes funny...

SAY

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They gave here a timeout, like any other sensible parent would.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Two Girls One Cup

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You have 6 basketballs. One rolls away. How many do you have? None because your family has a low income, lives in a broken down trailer, and has 5 other kids to supply for.

What has two thumbs and is very pale? A dead baby.

What's worse than dropping your ice cream? Being Killed

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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