A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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roses are red facebook is blue you look f**kable so i'll add you by: matt

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I dislike old people.

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness ... Hello?

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Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road? it said WALK.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? it was dead.

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what did the catholic priest say to the little boy? -probably something about god or jesus because they are in church

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Whats the difference between christians and nazis? one suppressed human rights and caused millions of deaths. the others were responsible for the holocaust.

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Katlin Poladian liked her own status again.

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A Blonde walks into a bar. She is an abusive relationship and is drinking her pain away.

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why does andy thomson speak that slow because he speaks that way

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Why did Ashley run out of juice in her house? Because she drank it all!

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Q. What is brown and sticky? A. Creosote.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride??

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Two drums and a cymbal fall down a cliff. Ba-dum pssh.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dying infants.

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go go gadget

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Why did the little boy die? Because he had cancer.

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Why was my teacher depressed? Because she wanted to live in her pasta

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Two guys walk into a bar, one is treated for a concussion.

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What's big, and fat? Well, duh an elephant.

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Robin, get in the car.

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name is not Mark.

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What's the difference between a dead baby in my garage and a Ferrari in my garage? I don't have a Ferrari.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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