How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No-one No-one who? .......

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What's worse than finding a real joke on anti-joke? Finding a repeated joke about no armed susy falling off a swing.

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Last night I had consensual sex with my long term girlfriend in the missionary position. It lasted approximately 4 minutes before I ejaculated into the durex extra safe condom.

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What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? One crawling out of the bottom licking its lips.

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What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree and lands on you, you'd die? A pool table.

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Why did the old man step on the caterpillar? For fun.

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Why did the man jump off the bridge? He was clinically depressed and wanted to commite suicide

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken so it will wonder when not properly fenced in

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A man asked another man what he was doing the next day. The man then proceeded to tell him that he had not intended on having any plans due to the fact that he was planning on killing himself within the next twenty three hours.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r Dbags n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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Knock knock. Use the doorbell, dumbass.

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Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised they are in the presence of a celebrity.

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God is religiously proven to be real

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what do u call a hobo name Max Max

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What do you call two men having sex with Oprah? Group sex.

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pubic lice.

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Person 1: Knock knock. Person 2: Come in.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Is you refrigerator running? That's odd you should call the cops about that one!

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What do you call a girl with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing chair ? Gravity.

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Rebecca Black sings a song.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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