A black guy and a white guy are sitting in the bar. Later they will probably return to their respectable homes.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a fat Mexican? Whatever his name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How many Jews can you fit in a Jeep? Four.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Obamacare!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man walks into a bar, he drinks, then leaves the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

DONALD TRUMP DIES

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a one-armed man Whatever his name is

thumb_up thumb_down +23

your mamas so old, her social security number is 1!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did Bob the Builder die? I threw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you wake Lady Gaga up? Poker face

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Disc . Disc Who. Disconnected.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why couldn't the Little Boy hear his mother yelling at him? Because his mothers died

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What does does an elephant and a grape have in common? They are both grapes except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q:What did a young Arnold Schwarzenegger say when his friends wanted to play a game pretending to be 18th century composers? A: "I'll be Mozart!"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A cat and a dog walk into a bar. The bartender says "it's refreshing to see perennial enemies enjoying each others company".

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

jess is a drama queen am i right rishi ?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why was the boy un-able to talk He was retarded

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the man throw his alarm clock out the window? Because he has anger management issues.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's black and white and red all over? Lots of things, including certain ugly clothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

hi ....................... oh i thought this was a chat room !!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I walked into a dark ally at night and ran into 2 black men They severely beat me then while unconscious brutally raped me. I then spent 5 weeks in the hospital in a deep coma.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops