Why does a chicken lay an egg? If she'd throw it, it would break.

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okay.....

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A man was walking outside at night and he heard thunder and saw lighting so he took out a metal pole.

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A Quadriplegic walked into a bar,

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Why did the man buy a rope? Because he needed a noose

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your face.

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Your mother is so fat that unfortunately she can not fit into her picture for her passport and is not allowed to leave the country to go visit her dying mother.

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What word starts with 'f' and ends in 'uck'? Firetruck

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Dear John,

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if it's friday, it must be China

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How do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the Brake

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Hey your name is really Tifa? Sorry, I hate scheming, but in this kind of situation I have to play things safe, I have a wife to take care off, I mean it, I really hate it. Anyway, I got your number, location everything, now if you did send people to harm or even worse kill me, you wont be doing that again, trust me, if I die of an assault, you die next, whoever you are.

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What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A salad, hes on a diet

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How do you wake up lady gaga? punch her in the dick.

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What is the saddest color? Red because his family recently was killed

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When is a joke funny? When you read it.

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Two small boys are walking in a schoolyard. One of the boys sits down under a tree looking distraught. The other asks him "Well whats the matter Eddy?" "Every time I walk to my bus-stop in the morning, Jimmy Krugan, pushes me down and takes my money. " The first boy thinks for sec.. "Well here's what you do Ed; go to your Dad's shed and grab a 2X4, paint it bright blue. In the morning, walk to school with it under your jacket and when Jimmy starts in on you give him a good wallop. He wont be bothering you anymore." The following day the boys are in the yard again. Eddy is seen under the tree seeming just as distraught. Confused, the boy asks him.. "Well Ed, did you do what I told you?" "No."

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what is brown and sticky? a stick

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips

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What's worse than finding gum stuck on the bottom of your desk? A clown following you around carrying a shotgun and throwing toothbrushes at you.

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ur mother

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I have read and agree to terms of service.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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A Mexican and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks. Then they leave because it turns out that wasn't the bar they were meeting the Jew at.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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