A peice of dust floats into a bar. Its a peice of dust so no one notices it.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock knock. Use the doorbell, dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

you are so ugly you continuously get made fun of for it everyday and already have a savings account for plastic surgery in the near future.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why wasn't Pat able to get an erection? Because Pat is a girl.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the Scorpio say to the Aquarius? "How's Uranus? Ohhhhh!" The Aquarius replied: "I have maggots."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What does a good joke get for Christmas? no laughs.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: Why is winter the best season? A: It eliminates the homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between a black man and a monkey? Millions of years of evolution

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do homeless people get for Christmas? Nothing, they are homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Three blind men walk into a bar but they were unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from them would be exploitative.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the boy bump into a pole. He was sleep-walking with his eyes closed.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm ? Getting herpes from a vibrator that you found in a dumpster.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man decides to go hunting in the woods with a shotgun, he is going through the woods and a bear randomly pops out of no where, knocks him down and rapes him. So the next day he came back with an even bigger shotgun and said, "i am going to kill this bear" so he goes through the woods, the bear comes out of nowhere, knocks him down and rapes him again. So he comes back the next day with and even bigger shotgun and says, " i am going to kill this bear, skin it, and eat it" so hes going through the woods and out comes the bear, knocks him down, gets real close to his face and says, "you dont come out here for the hunting do ya".

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the boy and girl do at the wedding? 69:)

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red Voliets are blue I suck at making poems Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a pickle that is sad? A pickle!????

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you amuse a blonde? ? tell her to go to antijokes.com ( :

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happened when the boy didn't forward the chain message to ten people. Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

your mamas so fat when she puts on a belt she has to use a bomarang to get it around her.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock knock Who's there? FBI

thumb_up thumb_down +1

The outside of my house is painted yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops