Why did the cow puke up his grass? Because it is necessary so that the cow can re-chew his food to aid with the digestion.

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Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Well it's really nice.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

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Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? Because she was lost in her thoughts about her dead husband, and how much he loved orange juice.

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A man was walking outside at night and he heard thunder and saw lighting so he took out a metal pole.

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A man walks into a bar. His alcoholism is destroying his family.

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The outside of my house is painted yellow.

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A man suffering from terminal cancer walks into a bar and orders a soda because his doctor advised him not to drink. The bartender and others in the establishment are completely unaware of his disability.

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What is x (4 - 10) + 6879 (333) x 678912345 - 9.87537 when x equals pi? Answer: YOUR FACE!!!

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What do you call a man who gets off the train at Willoughby? Dead

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What's the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Boy scouts come back from their camps

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Lol you are really adorable, is more like maybe we will ask you some time, but hey, if you are asking, I mean you are beautiful, insecure, easy to break... I am totally joking by the way, you are completely down to earth, you are sweet, you know what you want, etc etc, hey, and to know what you want in life you got to be confident. Wait a second... I "act" like a savage? Lawl, "streams of OceANUS catchphrase"

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a black father

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Whats worse than having no mother? Having no mother and father, enabling you to have to support a family at the age of 12, using the allowance that your parents are supposed to give you once a week.

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Q: How did the blonde commit suicide? A: She shot herself in the head.

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There was a deaf guy who heard a mute guy tell someone that a blind guy saw a guy with no legs win the marathon

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Think of a number between -1 and 1 That's how many friends you have

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So this guy walks into a bar. He is promptly rushed to the hospital due to the risk of brain damage, concussion, or other serious head injury.

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What did the homosexual say to the purse walking down the street? - I'm a homosexual.

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A Jew returns change.

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What's blue and screams when you look at it Idk that's why I'm asking you

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suck my a s s i hate mother f u c k e r s in my mother f u c k i n g crib

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marble

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When is a door not a door? When it was never actually a door in the first place and you just thought, for whatever reason, that i was.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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