Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he lost his grip on the branch and was unable to reach another before reaching the ground.

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An elderly lady walks into an elevator. She falls over and I kick her in the head.

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What happens when you eat too many breadsticks? You get constipated.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A Kinect

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Your life That's the joke

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penis

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Why was the black man screaming? The KKK was coming to lynch him.

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A baby seal walks into a club. And is brutally murdered for a hunting round.

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? *awkward silence* What did the deaf guy say to the mute guy? *Awkward silence....huh?*

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Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

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What's huge, gray, and has a trunk and wings. An elephant with wings glued to it.

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i have 2 penises

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I had sex with the Earth, and out came global warming...Imagine what will happen if i had sex with Obama?

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a Ferrari ? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

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If John has 50 candy bars, and he eats 45, how many cadybars does John have? Diabetes, John has diabetes.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Disc . Disc Who. Disconnected.

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How do you leave a man in suspense...

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In Soviet Russia! People were much more finacially secure than they are now.

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A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

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the blonde choked o a gummy bear. What happened next? she went to the hospital

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Im getting sick of holocaust jokes cant you Nazi Annefrankly they are dumb

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What did Sally get for Christmas? Nothing, Sally is dead

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What's worse than listening to a teacher talk? This joke.

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What do you get when you cross a horse and a pony? A mule

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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