Knock Knock Who's There? Bad-mannered Bad-mannered who? F*ck Off

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? The police Johnson Oh, come in Mr Johnson

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Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Perpresher

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Women's Golf

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What's yellow and can not swim? A Bulldozer

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because people kept making the same joke about her not having arms so she was hoping the fall would break her neck.

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A man walks into a bar.

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Last week, I saw a film. As I recall it was a horror film.

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Why did Bob the Builder die? I threw a fridge at him

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Two people walk into a bar, the third one ducked.

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Why couldn't the kid get into the Pirate movie? He died in a car crash on the way there because of a drunk driver.

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Nice legs, what time do they open the free bar, I'd like to by you a drink.

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Whats the difference between a horse and a pile of wheat? Its a pile of wheat.

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Today I had sex with a married man, but thats OK he's my husband

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What did Tommy's father tell him on Christmas? Nothing, he was violently stabbed to death on Christmas Eve.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Waking up with a snapping turtle up your butt.

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What's brown and sticky? Human Feces

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why did the chicken cross the road? why do you care?

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What is the difference between a bench and a black man? It is socially acceptable to sit on a bench to eat your lunch. If you did so to a black man you would probably be arrested.

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Your mother gets so hungry, she eats.

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hahaha

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What does a girl with no arms on a swing? Falls.

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Why did johnny fall down? He got hit in the head with a brick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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