What's the difference between a train and a lamp? A lot

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why didnt the deaf man laugh? he was also mute

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What do you call a diving-board factory worker threatening to jump off the roof? Names.

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I have the heart of a child... in a jar on my desk.

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An elderly lady walks into an elevator. She falls over and I kick her in the head.

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What is the difference between a black guy and a bucket of crap? Well, one consists of two inanimate objects (a bucket and feces) and the other is a human being of African/African-American descent. As you can see there really is no real comparison here.

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What's long and hard on a black man? First grade.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

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What do you call a dragon that doesn't breathe fire? A Griffin.

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What's huge, gray, and has a trunk and wings. An elephant with wings glued to it.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Bad-mannered Bad-mannered who? F*ck Off

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? I stapled it to the first monkey!

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What do divorce and a loose bear in a zoo have in common? They both tear families apart

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Why did the chicken cross the road it was out of its coop

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One day, Little Timmy asked his mother this question, "Mommy, why are boys and girls different?" She responded, "You're adopted and Santa Claus is dead."

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What is 18 inches long and makes a woman scream all night? Crib death.

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What did Tommy's father tell him on Christmas? Nothing, he was violently stabbed to death on Christmas Eve.

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Why do women where make-up and perfume? because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7... Because 7 raped her little sister

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other one's a watermelon

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What do you call a one-armed man Whatever his name is

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Why did our black president put a porch swing on the white house? He likes to swing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running. From the forest. That hell hole. He had got away, but he could remember. The darkness. The silence. Until the unmistakable scream of the guns and then- The Running. The Screaming. The Blood, oh the blood. Seeing Charlie. Oh, that damned soul Charlie. The bullet went right- But that was long ago. So long. But sometimes, in the silence, Chicken remembers. The Running. The Screaming. The Blood. And he screams.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Come in!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops