Why didn't Dave buy his wife a watch for her birthday? Because she already had one.

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A man was walking outside at night and he heard thunder and saw lighting so he took out a metal pole.

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Why did sally fall off her swingset? Because she was hit with a refrigerator.

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how do you stop a train? you cant..

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Knock knock? Whose there? Who's. Who's who? No you used the wrong form of who's.

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A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret.

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What's orange and can fly through walls? A Magic Orange.

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What's the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Boy scouts come back from their camps

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, dogs can't speak English.

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There was a deaf guy who heard a mute guy tell someone that a blind guy saw a guy with no legs win the marathon

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Why did the Jewish man kill his wife? Who cares.

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No...........

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Think of a number between -1 and 1 That's how many friends you have

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a big dick, Lets have sex.

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Hitler

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Whats funnier than an anti joke? a real one.

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abortion, it really brings out the kid in you.

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You mamma's so fat that even Dora can't explore her!

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Why is the child screaming? Because he just woke up from a bad dream.

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Do you know what paper I get?.... Loose leaf :o

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What do you call a duck with a mustache? A duck with a mustache.

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What happened when the terrorist with a bomb went into a school. He blew up and everyone died.

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A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he felt the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies,"You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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