Your momma is so fat that she has really high cholesterol but also an undoubtedly warm personality.

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Simon Cowell's hair is real.

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Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner there is no god and everybody hates you.

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lewis bedford

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What was the woman doing in the kitchen? Investigating a murder..

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems nice tits.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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3 men- Greg-Allen-And James were on their way back from the bar. When the driver, Greg spun out of control. All of them died Instantly. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told them. " The better you were with Relationships, And loving just one person. The better Transportation you got." He bagan handing things out. " Well, Greg. Looks like you cheated on your most recent Girlfriend... Twice. You get a Bike." Next was Allen " Allen! Shame on you! You have dated 4 women at once! You get a Scooter!" And last was James. " James! You have stayed true to your wife! And all of your other ex- girlfriends. You get a Mustang!" Allen and Greg seen james, Sitting on his car, Upset. "Man! Whats wrong? You have the best thing you could get! I'd be happy!" James looks up and says " Thanks guys, But I just seen my Wife on A skateboard.."

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Knock Knock Who's there? Father Dougal Mcguire

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What's the difference between a mouse and a dinosaur? A lot.

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what do a plum and a rabbit have in common? there both purple except for the rabbit

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How do you make a grilled cheese for a black guy? Butter two pieces of bread, place two slices of any kind of cheese in between the pieces of bread, then fry it in a pan with butter.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's just been shot, despite the fact that zebra hunting is illegal.

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why do black people like basketball? because it envolves running shooting and stealing

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What do you call a file named pedo? A. Pedobear B. Toast C. Pedofile

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What do you get when you mate an elephant with a rhino? Not much of anything except inter-species animal sex, considering the fact that the two do not share enough genetic material to create any sort of offspring.

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What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree and lands on you, you'd die? A pool table.

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Your mother smells so bad that people make comments about it behind her back, and one person mailed her some soap.

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why did the bananan explode? it was a grenade

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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are you lazy? -yes -Why are u lazy? -cause am lazy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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