A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

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In Soviet Russia! People were much more finacially secure than they are now.

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What do you get when you cross a horse and a pony? A mule

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Why did Bob the Builder die? I threw a fridge at him

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How did the poor young women get Aids? She got raped.

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Q:Whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead baby? A:The dog has skidmarks in front of it -RDV

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What did the deaf man say to the blind man? The deaf man spoke no identifiable words because he could not hear what he was saying. He mumbled a few phrases in jibberish, and the blind man continued looking for his favorite brand of Ramen Noodles at his local Harris Teeter.

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hi ....................... oh i thought this was a chat room !!!!!!!

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Last week, I saw a film. As I recall it was a horror film.

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Why did the man throw his alarm clock out the window? Because he has anger management issues.

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If life gives you melons ... You might be dyslexic

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What was the woman doing in the kitchen? Investigating a murder..

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Your Mamma is so poor that she begs for money.

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What does a ghost get when he watches pornography? A boner

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Whats the definition of helpless? A quadraplegic in a washing machine

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Whats the difference between a horse and a pile of wheat? Its a pile of wheat.

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8====D {(0)}

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What is the difference between Terri Schaivo and a basket of rotting vegetables? The rotting vegetables aren't edible.

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(insert Anti-Joke here)

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A: Want to hear a funny joke? B: Nah, I'm okay

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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What happened to the man that never got picked up? He died of a brain aneurysm, the ambulance never came.

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Did you hear about the anorexic with the yeast infection? Apparently she's really good at math, and if she can overcome her afflictions she wants to become an accountant one day.

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3 blonds walk into a bar ouch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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