Q: Why don't blind people skydive? A:Because it is scary

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Humpty dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty dumpty had a big fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men did not come to help him because the United States does not have a patriarchal system of government.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time and Santa Claus is a very jolly fellow who brings gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve.

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what did rebecca say to sabrina ? CALL wass !!

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Why didn't the boy enjoy his lunch? It was dinner time.

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Your mom is so fat, her pants are starting to get tight.

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A pregnant woman takes the bus, once inside she realizes that there are no seats. No one was pollite enough to let her sit down so she felt pretty uncomfortable on the way home.

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how many jews can you fit in a honda civic 1 in the driver seat, 1 in the passenger seat and 3 in the back properly fixed with safety belts.

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what do you call the one eyed man in the land of the blind? You call him an outcast

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A man walks into a store, and says to the cashier: "I'd like to buy 6 fridges". The cashier says: "Why do you need that many fridges?" The man says: "I'm an antelope!"

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Hey! did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she...

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What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

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What did the pedephile do to the young boy? Smiled at him, said hello, and kept on walking.

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why did every one in the world die? a Train pooped it's pants.

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Why are "Polish" and "polish" spelled the same? The word is a homophone.

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What do you call a man that likes fishsticks? His name

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Real jokes.

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They say under Chuck Norris's beard, is just a chin.

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What has human male genitalia? A human male

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A kid with no arms or legs is stuck in the desert. Sucks to be him.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducked.

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Why did the monkey sit on the toilet? To have a bowelmovement

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The chicken came before the egg. Because eggs are an unborn chicken, and it is impossible for an unborn chicken to ejaculate.

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What's better than nailing a baby into the wall? Football.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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