a man walks into a bar... and he says 'ouch!'

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Do you know what paper I get?.... Loose leaf :o

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I JUST HAD SEEX! How blantant, eh?

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What did one muffin say to the other? I don't know, but you need a psychiatrist.

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A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left? 499. How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge. How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge. The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it? The deer: He is still in the fridge. An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party The old lady dies at the edge of the swamp. How? A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

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whats blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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why can't the black man get a job? The economy is suffering and unemployment rates are at an all time high

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whats small, black, and crispy? a baby in a drier

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How do you make a bowl of cheese? First you get a bowl. Then insert the cheese.

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A pregnant woman takes the bus, once inside she realizes that there are no seats. No one was pollite enough to let her sit down so she felt pretty uncomfortable on the way home.

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OK, A plane carrying 200 passengers crashes on the border between America and Canada. Which side of the border do you bury the victims? Well, it would depend on where the passengers where from or what they had stipulated in their living will. I suppose some would be cremated which opens up a whole other can of worms entirely.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Shes dead.

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What happened at the finish line of the marathon? People collapsed in exhaustion, it was a marathon.

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how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

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What happend when Chuck Norris did a push up? He did one push up.

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Yo' mama so stupid, she has a lower IQ than the average person.

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What did the giraffe say to the monkey? Nothing

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Why doesn't Rick Moranis come out with anymore movies? He left the film industry in 1997, six years after the 1991 loss of his wife, Anne, to liver cancer.

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a boy walked into a pet store to get his bird some food. they were all out. the bird died.

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Jessica walks into a bar jokes jessica cant walk

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Whats a good source of iron? A piece of iron.

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What did Jerry Sandusky get for Christmas? Raped in jail.

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There's a American, Mexican, and a Canadian stranded in the desert. They couldn't find any food, water, and shelter. They were all really hungry and thirsty. Later that day the Mexican dies from a very bad infection on his neck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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