Knock knock! Who's there? It's me, Allison. Oh, come in!

What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree and lands on you, you'd die? A pool table.

a women picks up her phone and screams! There were 3 missed calls from her mother-inlaw

Last night I had consensual sex with my long term girlfriend in the missionary position. It lasted approximately 4 minutes before I ejaculated into the durex extra safe condom.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenia, and don't have any friends

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

Q:Where does a woman work at if she has a job? A: IHOP!!!

What's worse than a dead baby? A dead puppy.

A baby seal walks into a club.

the WNBA

Why are Chinese people only allowed one child? Because their government states so.

What's the difference between a Mercedes and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Mercedes in my garage.

husband : honey , can i have stuff candy wife : no husband : can i have milk and cookies wife : what kind of milk wink wink husband 2% you pervert

Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

What's funnier than Mexicans? Whats funny about Mexicans?

What did the drummer say to other drummer? "Hey, I'm a drummer too."

What do homeless people get for Christmas? Nothing, they are homeless.

Jack Oliver has a Bowl.

Q: why did the plain crash A: because the driver was a loaf of bread

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A bike.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

¿Por qué seis de los siete miedo? ¡Porque siete ocho nueve!

What does a man like. food.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple, your dad having sex with your girlfriend

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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