How do you know when a guy wants to have sex with you? When he rapes you

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Mean while... at Jerry Sandusky's house

thumb_up thumb_down +24

One day, Little Timmy asked his mother this question, "Mommy, why are boys and girls different?" She responded, "You're adopted and Santa Claus is dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Slavery

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a Ferrari ? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you start up a good conversation? Wanna have a good conversation?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A black man, a Mexican, and a Jew walk into a bar. The white bartender kills them all because he was a huge racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

In Soviet Russia! People were much more finacially secure than they are now.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A bar walks into your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

69

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What does a ghost get when he watches pornography? A boner

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the man throw his alarm clock out the window? Because he has anger management issues.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What does does an elephant and a grape have in common? They are both grapes except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A blond is stranded on a desert island when she finds a magic lamp. Except it's actually a rock and she is hallucinating due to dehydration and starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

thumb_up thumb_down +20

When does the Trogdor come? In the Niiiiighhhttttt.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats worse than dieing of Alhzymers? Anal Rape

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what did the man with no legs get for Christmas? A piano

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you know when a Mexican has died? Well based on the large mass of people inside and outside the funeral home who mostly seem to be of a mexican background and cultue, it would be safe to say that those are his/her friends and family who care deeply about them and therefore you could conclude that a Mexican person probably passed away. It's actually quite sad and going to be a rough few days for those closely connected to the person who died.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do I recover from my Pokémon addiction? Catch 'em All!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

4 out of 5 Americans make up 80% of Americans

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you get when you mate an elephant with a rhino? Not much of anything except inter-species animal sex, considering the fact that the two do not share enough genetic material to create any sort of offspring.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops