What's my name? I don't know u tell me.

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a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

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Where did all the time go? In a recent study, 100% of all time, all systems go.

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What did the black boy get for christmas? An Xbox.

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why was the dog barking?? bryan is a douche..... get it troupe.

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A guy walks into a bar, he has a few drinks than leaves.

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Whats worse than the Halocaust? Your mom

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Yo Mama is so stupid, she was riding her bike down the street when she was distracted and rode off a cliff. Oh crap I am so sorry.

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Why did the white man accuse the black man of stealing his wallet? Because they were the only two men in the room at the time of the theft

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? A Jew is a person either born into or converted to Judaism, and a Pizza is a disc shaped, oven baked bread typically topped with tomato sauce and cheese.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? John. Oh, hey! Come in.

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A man walks into a bar... But, it's not funny because he's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

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Why don't Polish girls swim in the sea? The only sea that Poland borders on is the Baltic. Throughout most of the year this sea is too cold to comfortably swim in.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

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3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

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Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

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A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

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Why was the thirteen year old raped by an online predator? Because he made very poor choices on giving out his personal information.

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How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

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Whats the difference between a new ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a new ferrari in my garage.

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Reduce, reuse, recycle Anti-joke.com

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What did he hellen keller say to her dad ? Nothing she cant talk

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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