Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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What do you call a black man and woman with a little white girl? A Family.

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A homeless man is hungry. He then kills a college professor and has a nice dinner

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Why did the white man accuse the black man of stealing his wallet? Because they were the only two men in the room at the time of the theft

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Gale swallows.

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Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Because he was dead.

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A man walks into a bar... But, it's not funny because he's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

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Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

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equality for women

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Why do Mexicans like to eat burritos? They are delicious.

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Wumbo

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and Santa Claus are on a plane. This is impossible because Santa Claus does not exist.

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A blond and a brunette took an IQ test. Both of them scored above average.

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A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

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Knock knock Who's there? A friend. But I don't have any friends.

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The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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I have a knock knock joke. You start.

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What's round and red? A round and red solid.

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What's green and has wheels? A cucumber with wheels.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

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Why was timmy crying? He gave his grandmother AIDs...

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Why did the boy kill his father? Because he was molesting him.

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Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

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Thomas Hobbes had a good life Actually he was born prematurely which caused his mother to die, and his alcohallic father left him at a young age to an abusive older brother sucks to suck Hobbes, at least you were smart

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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