- Anti Joke

Why did the white man accuse the black man of stealing his wallet? Because they were the only two men in the room at the time of the theft

Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

What type of cheese is not your cheese? The cheese that belongs to another person.

How many hispanics does it take to screw in a light bulb. One. Just one. You just screw it in, it's not that complicated.

What happens when you turn back time? You get "emit."

What did he hellen keller say to her dad ? Nothing she cant talk

How many Facebook friends does George Bush have? None because he doesn't have a Facebook.

So a priest and an atheist sit next to eachother train After talking to eachother for a short period of time, the priest discovers the other man's beliefs and procededs to spend the rest of the ride trying to convert the atheist. Incredibly irritated the atheist gets off the train a stop early to escape the tirade. The next day the atheist sees on tv that the train crashed right after getting off, and the priest is listed amongst the people killed in the accident. He is ecstatic, and says to himself "ha, proof of divine retribution," but then he feels confused because he realizes he doesn't believe in a god...

What's the worst part about male roller blading? AIDS.

What did Tarzan say when he took out his knife? I took out my knife.

u smell oh no of wat?? dunno i just know its BADDDDDDD !!!!!! k.c

two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

Guess what? Chicken butt! No I have aids, you might want to get yourself tested

What's cheese that's not yours? Mine.

What does an elephant and a red soda have in common? Neither collects stamps.

There was an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman... They all died in a horrible train wreck.

Knock knock whose there? i have a warrant, i excpect you to come out peacefully with you hands behind you back

knock knock. who's there pismil pismil who pigsmil cookies

what did the Spanish priest say to the Ukranian gynocologist? fart

Why did the black man perform well? Because he was a well trained musician by the name of Stevie Wonder.

Rich merchant started build a new bigger home for his family. He bought good blueprints and hired some construction workers to build it up. It took 2 years for the house to finish. Just few days before moving in, he had an horrible nightmare where little green men set the house on fire. When he woke up, he heard the bad news. House was burned down during the night. Merchant was shocked and sad. After couple of weeks, he decided to build a new house. This time a smaller one. Again he bought blueprints and hired people to work for him. Almost a year later, the house was starting to be finished. And again he saw that nightmare of little green men burning the house down. At morning he already knew the news and started to investigate these happenings. Local police officer couldn't help him and so didn't anyone else he asked. Merchant decided to try once more to build new home. This time he had money only for a small farmhouse. Building it up last 6 months, and almost every night merchant was guarding the construction site for little green men. Farmhouse finished in time and merchant moved in. In couple weeks he started to relax and think that little green men stopped harassing him. At one night, couple of months after moving in. Merchant saw the nightmare again, and woke up in burning house. He escaped from the window and saved his wife and children. Then he ran to the village to call for help. The next morning, merchant was sitting next to his burned home and just thinking the motives for green men, what did he do in past so that green men were angry at him? Some villagers had come to watch the burned house and merchant saw something green in middle of the crowd. He slowly walked towards the crowd and saw this little man fleeing. He started to pursue this man and was pumped with adrealine. Didn't last long when merchant catched this little guy and held him in the ground to ask "Who are you? Do you have anything to do with those housefires?" The little green man was calm and relaxed as he answered "No."

What do you call a black man without a job? Unemployed.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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