How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

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The pope and three young boys get into a cab. The pope tells the driver to take the boys home.

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Whats the difference between a new ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a new ferrari in my garage.

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What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

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Reduce, reuse, recycle Anti-joke.com

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What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

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roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

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The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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There was an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman... They all died in a horrible train wreck.

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9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

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Q: what did the hot dog say to the hamburger A: i want your buns

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a little boy told his friend he failed a test.. the friend replied that his parents r goin to kill him... to save himself the suffering ...the boy hung himself in his closet

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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Your carpol will be here soon! What a pool for cars is coming?

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women sitting on a bench quietly. they have no ability to speak.

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Why did the kitten die? Because your mom is gay.

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what did jesus say to moses? jesus isn't real

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*Random individual accidentally throws a ball toward another person's head while chilling out with friends* *The ball comes into contact with the victim's cranium- causing him much pain, but not serious detriment.* Q: Are you feeling okay? A: No, I'm dizzy and am currently in very bad shape Response after initial inquiry was articulated: "Uhmmmm...Sorry?" Lesson of significance to be learned from this tragic incident: One's developed, habitual reactions to certain occasions/events of particular interest are virtually always practically impossible to completely override with the means of logic when one is experiencing the relevant occurances him/herself personally. One usually finds it inordanitely difficult to free him/herself from one's regular routines.

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A fish walks into a bad Fish dont walk

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a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

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Why doesnt Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesnt float.

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Q. why can't hellen keller drive? A. because she is dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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