Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Because he was dead.

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What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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whats silver and cries? a coin, although it can't cry because its a coin. So it's just silver

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Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

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3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

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Two cannibals are eating around a fire in the jungle, and one turns to the other and says "Does this taste funny to you?" Oh yeah, and they're eating a clown.

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-rick:hey wut happens wen i pull this pin -jerry:rick no!!!!! rick then starts to cry as he remembers the tragic accident that caused his friends death,which rick caused

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"The lack of a punch line is the punch line" Oh

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Yee

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knock! knock! who's there? mom mom who? your mom... your girlfriend just died in a car accident while carrying you baby...

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I'm gonna put my nut-sack on your drum set

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knock knock who's there ? dogs dogs who? phone

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Whats the difference between a new ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a new ferrari in my garage.

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What's the worst part about male roller blading? AIDS.

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I used to be an Adventurer like you... But then I decided that it was a dangerous form of employment and stopped.

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Why coulden't the fish swim? He got poked in the eye with my nipple. My nipples get really big when I'm swimming in cold water.

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Why was timmy crying? He gave his grandmother AIDs...

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A: Knock knock B: "NOOOO" A: *Comes in, sees masturbating son*

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a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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What do you call a black man without a job? Unemployed.

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Q. The square root of 69 is 8 something, right? A. Yes, to be exact it is 8.30662386.

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women sitting on a bench quietly. they have no ability to speak.

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What's similar between a flamingo and a rhino? They're both pink...except the rhino

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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