What's my name? I don't know u tell me.

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Where did all the time go? In a recent study, 100% of all time, all systems go.

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What do you do to someone you hate very much? You kill them.

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Why was little timmy's arm crooked His mom tried to pull his arm off.

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What happened to the boy when he did nothing? The game.

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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What's black, white,and red all over? A crime scene where a black and white man were brutally murdered by a psychopath that is still on the loose and could be killing someone else.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a truck

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What's the difference between a duck A chair Vests have no sleeves

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A black man, a Jewish man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They are all good friends who want to enjoy drinks together.

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why did the ginger start crying. because people through bricks at him!

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A man walks into a bar... But, it's not funny because he's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

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3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

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Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

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Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

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What's funner than a barrel of monkeys ? Not the Holocaust .

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What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

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The pope and three young boys get into a cab. The pope tells the driver to take the boys home.

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What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

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Whats the difference between a new ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a new ferrari in my garage.

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Reduce, reuse, recycle Anti-joke.com

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

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I have a knock knock joke. You start.

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person 1 - what's big, green and ugly? person 2 - don't know. what's big, green and ugly? person 1 - nothing is

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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