What did Tarzan say when he took out his knife? I took out my knife.

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The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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Why? Because racecar.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

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9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

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Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the slaughter house

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you say "ask me if im a tree" he says "r u a tree?" you say"no..." then just stare at them

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Why wouldnt NASA send a blackman into space without a space suit? Because space is a vacuum there is no air no atmosphere the tempurature is almost zero kelvin so if you ever go out int space please dont take off your helmet out there because you would freeze to death almost instantaniously.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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Thomas Hobbes had a good life Actually he was born prematurely which caused his mother to die, and his alcohallic father left him at a young age to an abusive older brother sucks to suck Hobbes, at least you were smart

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A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

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Your carpol will be here soon! What a pool for cars is coming?

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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whats worse than getting beaten up by a bully? realizing your fly was down the whole time and getting beaten up by a bully

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a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

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Where did all the time go? In a recent study, 100% of all time, all systems go.

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Christians

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender-"Hey we don't serve your kind here!" The duck-"What ducks?" The bartender -"No Jewish"

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A blond and a brunette took an IQ test. Both of them scored above average.

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what was the dinosaur after it got out of the pool? wet

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3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

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What's funner than a barrel of monkeys ? Not the Holocaust .

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What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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