How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Chuck Norris can watch TV.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Knock knock. Who's there? Awkward silence Awkward silence who? ...

thumb_up thumb_down -118

What is the most attractive part of a woman's body? The part where she doesn't have a penis. I know, I know, the no-penis thing looks weird and strange, but hear me out. I think it's kind of cute and quirky. Like, oops, there's something that's supposed to be there, but isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +99

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I like to sniff your hair when you are asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +95

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They brutally whipped and tortured her.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing. I lied about the deer.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

A black man, a Jewish man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They are all good friends who want to enjoy drinks together.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and an avacado? Michael Jackson molested a 12 year old boy

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "MOOOOO!". The other makes an unremarkably similar noise.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Your mother who?" "Really?"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: what is more sad than being alone A: being alone with lots of cats

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? Nothing, he's the same person

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Windows crash ? F*ck Windows, that's why.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why does an Irish cop wear a belt? To hold up his pants.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a grocery store. As they walk past the meat section, the Priest stops, smiles, and turns to the Rabbi. "Feeling Hungry?" The Rabbi reaches down and picks up a pack of Koscher hotdogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

The pope and three young boys get into a cab. The pope tells the driver to take the boys home.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? there were no more cars in the way

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Richard fell off a cliff. He hit the pavement and died on contact. If only he knew he could fly.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why was the man itchy? because he had herpies

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Boom.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops