How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Midgets are capable of doing an average person's everyday task. Unless they have autism, then they might as well die.

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Why does an Irish cop wear a belt? To hold up his pants.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says its getting hot in here the other muffin say holy shit a talking muffin.

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I'm so popular... That I am friends with many people...

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Why coulden't the fish swim? He got poked in the eye with my nipple. My nipples get really big when I'm swimming in cold water.

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The pope and three young boys get into a cab. The pope tells the driver to take the boys home.

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What is white, and hurts when it falls from a tree? -tom

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Knock Knock Who's there? me oh

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Why can't women drive? Actually, they can as long as they legally acquire a driver's license and have no existing restrictions.

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How does one propagate a humorous reaction from peers and associates while not utilizing such characteristics as whit, jocularity, substance or auspicious punch lines? That's what she said.

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What do you get when you cross a pelican with a mountain goat? It's hard to say.

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Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Grandma's dead. call the paramedics.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What did the republican say to the democrat? You suck!

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Chuck Norris can watch TV.

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Whats green and tasty? Snot

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What is the most attractive part of a woman's body? The part where she doesn't have a penis. I know, I know, the no-penis thing looks weird and strange, but hear me out. I think it's kind of cute and quirky. Like, oops, there's something that's supposed to be there, but isn't.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I like to sniff your hair when you are asleep.

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A blind man walks into a bar Backs up, and walks around it.

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Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Your mother who?" "Really?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops