There was an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman... They all died in a horrible train wreck.

Why did the chicken cross the road? there were no more cars in the way

How do you fit 100 babies in a bucket? put them in a blender. How do you get them out? potato chips.

What do you call a fly with no wings? Joseph

What's similar between a flamingo and a rhino? They're both pink...except the rhino

what did batman Say to robin before they got into the car? get in the car

A man walks into a bar and says: "ouch!"

What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

Kony 2012

when god gives you lemons, you find a new god!

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

What happens if Pinocchio says "My nose is about to grow." Nothing, Pinocchio was a fictional character created by Walt Disney.

what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names.

Why don't Polish girls swim in the sea? The only sea that Poland borders on is the Baltic. Throughout most of the year this sea is too cold to comfortably swim in.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartenders says, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because horses do not comprehend English. He then becomes startled by his surroundings and bolts out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

This comment is anti to jokes.

What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

Why was the thirteen year old raped by an online predator? Because he made very poor choices on giving out his personal information.

A horse walked into a bar, broke its leg and its owner then had to put it down because it was a racing horse and the owner did not have enough money to bring the horse back to health. Fuck you.

How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Midgets are capable of doing an average person's everyday task. Unless they have autism, then they might as well die.

What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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