A three legged dog walks into the bar and says, " I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw." The bartender replies, "Your father was an honorable man, and I wish I could help."

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Animal cruelty

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Why did Aodhan not come into school? He was sick.

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equality for women

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what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names.

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3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

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Wumbo

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What's funner than a barrel of monkeys ? Not the Holocaust .

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Knock, knock! “Who's there?” “The Gestapo.”

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A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

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roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

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Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? You said you'd never forget.

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Yo mama so stupid she liked this joke

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My girlfriend never swallows; she has a rare esophageal disease that's potentially fatal.

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A barrel of monkeys is only a barrel of laughs if they're alive and telling jokes.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

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To the person who wrote the dislike joke: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAH GOOD FAIL!

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If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

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What a vase and a cheeseburger have in common? It has it's price.

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How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

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What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

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Why wasn't the 7 year old boy happy? I shot him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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