What rymes with milk..... milf

thumb_up thumb_down +89

Have you heard of Helen Keller's dog? No. Neither has she

thumb_up thumb_down +79

Whats worse then the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +65

What's brown and says "Hey, I'm a dog"? A talking dog, able to grasp the English language.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

thumb_up thumb_down +45

a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A man walks into a bar and the the llama next store sprouted wings and flew Then a potato says hi to a iPod but unfortunatly the iPod can't talk. Meanwhile hello kitty and ducks wage a nuclear war and the rise of ostriches Started. The a giant cucumber started falling of mt. Everest and killed many Flying platipuses were saved. Then aliens started invading and the world ended.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What looks like dirt, smells like dirt, but isn't dirt? Fake dirt!!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender-"Hey we don't serve your kind here!" The duck-"What ducks?" The bartender -"No Jewish"

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what is not funny? This joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Midgets are capable of doing an average person's everyday task. Unless they have autism, then they might as well die.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the thirteen year old raped by an online predator? Because he made very poor choices on giving out his personal information.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a brunette between two blondes? Susan.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Typically only one, though more may be required under extreme conditions.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Yo mamma's so stupid, she dropped out of college.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Your mama's so fat, she gets confused with Santa Claus.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a bar and slowly draws a pistol and kills 5 people.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why do black people always say to the left to the left... because they don't have rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What happened to the Caucasian man who went to Vegas? He lost all his money so the government took away his car and his house so he had to become homeless and live on the streets begging for money from any who walked by until he slowly starved to death after eating food left in restaurants and trashcans.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops