What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't make for a very good accountant.

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What does an elephant and a red soda have in common? Neither collects stamps.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They are then baked at 375 for about 30 minutes and then taken out to cool.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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What do you call a black man without a job? Unemployed.

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How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

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What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods They both have beards... EXCEPT FOR TIGER WOODS.

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Whats he best type of terroist? A dead one.

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What's the difference between your mom and a toaster? A toaster won't period in your cereal bowl.

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Why was the boy sad? I don't know, ask him.

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girl says..joe..................................................................... boy says...who is joe................. girl..the idiot of a helper at my skl

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What a vase and a cheeseburger have in common? It has it's price.

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when god gives you lemons, you find a new god!

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Q: How do you get a bunch of mexicans attention? A: Say excuse me, can I have your attention please?

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Woah again Nero, you are so wise... I love you, I really do. If someone can and has already changed the world for the better, its you. No wonder people believe you have superhuman abilities, I used to think so too, but I think I understand what humans can do on another level now, you did that, thank you.

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Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone? A. He got attacked by a dog.

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What is black and white and red all over? A zebra that has been shot, because poaching is quite common in many African savannas.

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Knock, knock! “Who's there?” “The Gestapo.”

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Why was the boy sad? Because he met Larry.

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Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom...

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2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Actually it couldn't even walk because of all the hormones they injected into it in order to genetically enhance it's size and flavor.

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A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops