how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

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two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Brian. Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Typically only one, though more may be required under extreme conditions.

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There was an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman... They all died in a horrible train wreck.

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Knock knock whose there? i have a warrant, i excpect you to come out peacefully with you hands behind you back

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why was the man itchy? because he had herpies

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123457

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Two muffins are in an oven. They are then baked at 375 for about 30 minutes and then taken out to cool.

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A man walks into a bar. "Excuse me sir," he asks, "may I have a beer?" "No," says the bartender.

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How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

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Why did the black man shoot everyone? Because he is black

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hi

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

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What do you call an Italian baby born with an extra toe? He was named Vincent Antonio Linguini and has been doing well with six toes.

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A fat man on a moped

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What a vase and a cheeseburger have in common? It has it's price.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing. I lied about the deer.

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So an asian man gets into a car... and drives home on the highway driving at the approximate speed of the designated speed limit while exhibiting safe driving maneuvers. He arrives home to his wife and kids and sits down for a nice dinner while having a engaging conversation about the political future of the United States and his favorite football team.

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What happens if Pinocchio says "My nose is about to grow." Nothing, Pinocchio was a fictional character created by Walt Disney.

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Woah again Nero, you are so wise... I love you, I really do. If someone can and has already changed the world for the better, its you. No wonder people believe you have superhuman abilities, I used to think so too, but I think I understand what humans can do on another level now, you did that, thank you.

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What did the African boy get for his Christmas present for the first time? Leprosy

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what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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