Once upon a time a girl took a gun and shot herself in the face

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I Hear Boston Is having a blast.

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what is darker than black?... YOU

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

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What's brown and says "Hey, I'm a dog"? A talking dog, able to grasp the English language.

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what is the difference of left and right? i used my right hand to stab your mother.

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Why did the chicken walk into Mordor? It didn't. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

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Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

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What did the African boy get for his Christmas present for the first time? Leprosy

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3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

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I can see you under there. Under what?

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Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "MOOOOO!". The other makes an unremarkably similar noise.

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Knock, knock! “Who's there?” “The Gestapo.”

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Come in" "Come in who?"

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A black kid, an Asian kid, and a Jewish kid walk into a barrier. They are students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and they walk straight through the barrier onto Platform 9 3/4.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Actually it couldn't even walk because of all the hormones they injected into it in order to genetically enhance it's size and flavor.

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"The lack of a punch line is the punch line" Oh

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Just open the damn door

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Noses are red, pilots are blue I am dyxslexic boo who

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A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a grocery store. As they walk past the meat section, the Priest stops, smiles, and turns to the Rabbi. "Feeling Hungry?" The Rabbi reaches down and picks up a pack of Koscher hotdogs.

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A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender immediately tells him to leave as they don't allow pets.

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What do stuffed animals and living animals have in common? There both living except the stuffed animal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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