what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Two elephants are in a bath tub. The first elephant says to the other elephant, "can you pass the soap?" The second elephant then replied, "No soap, radio."

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Whats orange and has stripes? - a tiger

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? You said you'd never forget.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the worst part about male roller blading? AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't make for a very good accountant.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What does an elephant and a red soda have in common? Neither collects stamps.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two muffins are in an oven. They are then baked at 375 for about 30 minutes and then taken out to cool.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a black man without a job? Unemployed.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Whats he best type of terroist? A dead one.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods They both have beards... EXCEPT FOR TIGER WOODS.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What's the difference between your mom and a toaster? A toaster won't period in your cereal bowl.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why was the boy sad? I don't know, ask him.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

girl says..joe..................................................................... boy says...who is joe................. girl..the idiot of a helper at my skl

thumb_up thumb_down -49

What a vase and a cheeseburger have in common? It has it's price.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

when god gives you lemons, you find a new god!

thumb_up thumb_down -87

Q: How do you get a bunch of mexicans attention? A: Say excuse me, can I have your attention please?

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Woah again Nero, you are so wise... I love you, I really do. If someone can and has already changed the world for the better, its you. No wonder people believe you have superhuman abilities, I used to think so too, but I think I understand what humans can do on another level now, you did that, thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone? A. He got attacked by a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What is black and white and red all over? A zebra that has been shot, because poaching is quite common in many African savannas.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's sad about a house on fire?, it was my house.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops