A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't make for a very good accountant.

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How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Typically only one, though more may be required under extreme conditions.

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what did the Spanish priest say to the Ukranian gynocologist? *fart*

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Why did the chicken cross the road? there were no more cars in the way

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Why was timmy crying? He gave his grandmother AIDs...

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a little boy told his friend he failed a test.. the friend replied that his parents r goin to kill him... to save himself the suffering ...the boy hung himself in his closet

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Q. The square root of 69 is 8 something, right? A. Yes, to be exact it is 8.30662386.

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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Why did the pollock jump into the sea? A pollock is a fish.

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What do you get if you cross a chicken and a potato? Answer- Chicken tasted potato

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Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Grandma's dead. call the paramedics.

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

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what is darker than black?... YOU

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What do you call an Italian baby born with an extra toe? He was named Vincent Antonio Linguini and has been doing well with six toes.

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A guy with no legs walks into a bar.

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Why did the hamster run around the wheel.? Because he lived in a small cage and had nothing better to do.

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

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knock knock. I have a doorbell, you don't have to knock.

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Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "MOOOOO!". The other makes an unremarkably similar noise.

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This comment is anti to jokes.

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-rick:hey wut happens wen i pull this pin -jerry:rick no!!!!! rick then starts to cry as he remembers the tragic accident that caused his friends death,which rick caused

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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