What happens when you turn back time? You get "emit."

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what did the little boy see when he walked into his parents bed room a bed

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Roses are red, Muslims are brown, When I see them swimming, I hope that they drown!

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What did the dog say to the cat? I have no idea. I wasn't there.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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you momas so fat, you momas so ugly Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great Salvador Dali mistook them for cloth.

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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I went to the store and I fell

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Q: What did the boy do when his mom asked him to put away his clothes? A: Yes. PS: If that wasn't funny to you, then go f**k off. You clearly don't have any sence of humor and you should see someone about that, like a mental health doctor.

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was recently released from prison for violent crimes.

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Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

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A man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" he shouted after he stubbed his toe on a table.

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To be honest that sounds like more of a mental health issue and not something I'm qualified to deal with as a GP. Let me refer you.

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall red? depends on how hard you throw em

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Why did Jack and Jill go up the hill? To get to their house.

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(in a retarted voice) i want to go to disneyland

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roses are red violets are blue i had sex with your dog

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A man walked into a bar. What did he say? Ouch.

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Knock, Knock. Come in.

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Why did the black man shoot everyone? Because he is black

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How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

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What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

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How do you fit 1,000 Jews in a Volkswagen? Trick question, you can't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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