Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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Why Did the baby cross the street? He was stapled to the chicken's back

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

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What do you call a black guy eating fried chicken? His name.

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Why did the horse have 5 legs? She was still giving birth.

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3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

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Why did the girl say 'baa'? Because she was a lamb.

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My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

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A guy vociferiously kills another person- fueled by the incentive of personal gain provided by his rapacious, human nature. He is an army soldier who's triumphant in battle and hoping to recieve a promotion. However, ultimately all he did was essentially insignificantt and his acts of purported valor were diametrically unnoticed by all except for his closest friends/allies. He never did supass his original self of a soldier and died of a natural cause that was disclosed only to the members of his immediate family.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing set? She had no arms.

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A man walked in a bar had 4 drinks and walked home because drunk driving is dangerous

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? Nothing. They are both created in God's image and likeness so get your mind outta the gutter!

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How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. ~Stevie Wonder

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What did the deaf Jewish Rabbi say to the Italian Priest. What?

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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Why did the chicken cross the road? know on knows as he can't talk

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Hi

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What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause it looks like you landed on your face.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? He was on his way home from work and saw some youths loitering on the street corner and thought it best to avoid them and therefore any possible confrontation. He would also appreciate it if you would call him something along the lines of Bravery impaired instead of a chicken as he finds it offensive and doesn't fully understand the avian reference to his lack of confidence.

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A black man bought a large condom because he has a big penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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