why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

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What did the paraplegic boy get for christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced to against his will by a group of marauding ninjas who happened to be strolling by at the time.

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Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

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What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A car that is driving recklessly and happens to have a Christmas paint scheme.

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how do you make a joke act like yourself

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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A guy walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

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Did you hear about the guy who fell off the mountain? Oh, well he died

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acuna

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What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

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Hey, is that your corvette. No I thought it was yours.

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What did the priest do when he noticed the young boy bent over picking up crayons he had dropped? He helped him pick them up

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Oh, um, sorry i forgot the rest...

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Runescape.

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A wolf boards a plane with two dead rabbits in his mouth. The flight attendant approaches him and says, "Sir, you can only have one of those on the plane." The wolf bites her throat out.

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How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza is an inanimate object, while a black man is a person. racist F.u.c.k.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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