What do you get when you cross a rhino and an elephant? Two angry pachyderms.

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A blonde walks into a library. "PLEASE CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER?!" he shouts at the top of his lungs. "Sir, this is a library," the librarian says. "Oh, sorry," he whispers and goes to McDonald's Two years of the routine and he dies of of heart failure and has diabetes.

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What looks and sounds just like a seagull ? A seagull.

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what is not funny? This joke.

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What do you call a black person who drives a plane? A pilot.

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Q: What did the boy do when his mom asked him to put away his clothes? A: Yes. PS: If that wasn't funny to you, then go f**k off. You clearly don't have any sence of humor and you should see someone about that, like a mental health doctor.

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You.

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Boo Boo Who? Boo Smith, I'm the town rapist.

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What do you call a man who has reached the highest level of prestige in all Call of Duty games? A Virgin

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Why was timmy crying? He gave his grandmother AIDs...

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why can't a blonde count to 70? cause 69 is a mouth full

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What did the muffin say to the other muffin? "Hello, nice to meet you."

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Why did Sally fall of the Swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

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(in a retarted voice) i want to go to disneyland

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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What did the young girl get for Christmas? Violently raped and murdered by her abusive father.

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A black guy, a Mexican guy and a Jew walk into a hospital. They are all undergoing the same chemotherapy treatment.

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If Barbie is so popular...why do you have to buy her friends?

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My Roomate-(crying in the fetal position for the love of his life has been murderer) Me- (laughing) I have a problem

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You're really messed up right now... elephants don't talk

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: Banana! B: Not you again..(slams door)

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How's your mum? she's dead..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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