Why did the blind man cross the road? To end the suffering of a lifetime illness.

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Did you hear the one about the priest, the rabbi, the astronaut, the olympic diver, the mcdonald's employee, and the web designer? Neither did I...

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Knock knock whose there? i have a warrant, i excpect you to come out peacefully with you hands behind you back

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What's round and red? A round and red solid.

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I used to be an Adventurer like you... But then I decided that it was a dangerous form of employment and stopped.

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Why coulden't the fish swim? He got poked in the eye with my nipple. My nipples get really big when I'm swimming in cold water.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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what did the Spanish priest say to the Ukranian gynocologist? *fart*

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How long does it take a black woman to take a shit? Why in the world would you want to know something like that? But anyway, the answer is somewhere, on average, between 10 seconds and 15 minutes. It really varies and conditions like irritable bowel syndrome and constipation affect this range. Actually it takes about 9 months.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause it looks like you landed on your face.

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I went to buy some camouflage shorst the other day but I couldn't find any.

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A frog found a smoking cigarette on the road, so he/she takes it, smokes it, and explodes.

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Whats the best way to take down a skycraper? -Crash a plane into it-

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What happened to the Caucasian man who went to Vegas? He lost all his money so the government took away his car and his house so he had to become homeless and live on the streets begging for money from any who walked by until he slowly starved to death after eating food left in restaurants and trashcans.

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Whats he best type of terroist? A dead one.

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A fish walks into a bad Fish dont walk

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How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

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Chuck Norris can watch TV.

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Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Cadillac? A Cadillac is a car, and a dead baby is a morose and disgusting topic of internet humor.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

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Q. Did you hear about the kid napping? A. Yeah, he woke up and was grumpy

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Two elephants are in a bath tub. The first elephant says to the other elephant, "can you pass the soap?" The second elephant then replied, "No soap, radio."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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