What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

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Why was six afraid of seven You would be scared to if your name was six and you knew someone named seven

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Q:What colors make black? A:Nothing Thats a Shade

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Your carpol will be here soon! What a pool for cars is coming?

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What's the most stupid thing you have ever heard? Woman's Studies.

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, the sky is grey so is the grass everything is grey, as i am colourblind

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A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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What's that smell? Your feces droping in the toilet

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How many fairies does it take to screw in a light bulb? If you still believe in fairies, there's something wrong with you.

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How do you fit 1,000 Jews in a Volkswagen? Trick question, you can't.

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Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? A warm meal thanks to a Charity organization.

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What's worse than being a black Jew? Being a racists anti-Semite.

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3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

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My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

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Dude, you're never going to guess how stupid my friend Philip is! Really? What did he do?? Nothing. Philip will be attending the prestigious Princeton University next year and is therefore an incredibly intelligent human-being. You're an idiot for believing me.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What a wonderfuuuul wooorld: Would this not be a wonderful world if we instead of killing innocent children, just gRaped them hard and painfully in every damn hole and let them go home? Ad: Consider the life of the poor children, Just 0rape them hard!... For love! Awww... Moral: What moral You see any moral here? XD No Not Nerometal, I am that "leader of the Neronist... whatever" Yes, that is who I am. Real moral: "Seriously who is gonna listen to some kid who is just (severely) butthurt anyway huh? Cut their tongues off! Just do not kill them... For a wonderful world..." <3 (Not a heart lol)

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how to u kill a baby with no arms, throw it in a pool

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what happened to the guy that got attacked by a shark he died

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How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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