Why did the man scream? He got his dick caught. In the zipper.

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women sitting on a bench quietly. they have no ability to speak.

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What's worse than a black President... George W Bush

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Why did the kitten die? Because your mom is gay.

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Q. why can't hellen keller drive? A. because she is dead

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why was the dog barking?? bryan is a douche..... get it troupe.

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What do you call an Italian baby born with an extra toe? He was named Vincent Antonio Linguini and has been doing well with six toes.

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What’s brown, sticky and smells like poo? Shit!!

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when god gives you lemons, you find a new god!

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How Long is a Chinese name.

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Why did the chicken walk into Mordor? It didn't. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

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What happens if Pinocchio says "My nose is about to grow." Nothing, Pinocchio was a fictional character created by Walt Disney.

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Why don't Polish girls swim in the sea? The only sea that Poland borders on is the Baltic. Throughout most of the year this sea is too cold to comfortably swim in.

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knock knock. I have a doorbell, you don't have to knock.

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Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "MOOOOO!". The other makes an unremarkably similar noise.

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A blond and a brunette took an IQ test. Both of them scored above average.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

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Q. What's funnier than an anti-joke? A. Thousands of anti-jokes, compiled on a worldwide network.

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Midgets are capable of doing an average person's everyday task. Unless they have autism, then they might as well die.

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Roses are Red Voilets are Red I am Red I am Dead

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What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't make for a very good accountant.

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roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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