Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Because he was dead.

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Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

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How many jews can get in a Volvo? 5.

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Wumbo

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A blond and a brunette took an IQ test. Both of them scored above average.

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

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What looks like dirt, smells like dirt, but isn't dirt? Fake dirt!!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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knock knock who's there ? dogs dogs who? phone

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What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

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What happened when the asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

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Knock knock Who's there? A friend. But I don't have any friends.

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Reduce, reuse, recycle Anti-joke.com

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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I used to be an Adventurer like you... But then I decided that it was a dangerous form of employment and stopped.

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What do you call a man with a sack of money running from a bank? A rich man.

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The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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How many hispanics does it take to screw in a light bulb. One. Just one. You just screw it in, it's not that complicated.

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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What's the difference between donuts and dead babies I don't have a pile of donuts in my garage

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Why do people discriminate against black people? Because they show an undeserving amount of disrespect towards the rest of the world and why should they get anything better than what they offer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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