Why did the taxi driver kill the blond? He didn't. It's illegal to murder people in most countries.

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As a teen girl was walking through the perfume shop, she picked up one called, "Swirly Paradise." She sprayed it on her and sniffed the sweet scent. Suddenly, the world spun around and she suddenly woke up inside an empty bra. A mouse sniffed her and ate her alive.

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Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

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Q:: when artificial intelligence takes over the planet, what will become of anti-joke.com? A:: idk, but my cousin's girlfriend and I will get naked together and she will get on top of me and tell me I'm awesome and that my d*ck feels really good inside her. you see by the time AI takes over, the means to create virtual reality experiences will be greatly enhanced.

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Yo mama so fat she was diagnosed with diabetes and now has to regulate her daily intake of foods.

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What's the last thing that went through John F Kennedy's head? a bullet

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What do you call a pig with no arms? A pig, pigs don't have arms

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A man comes home from work and find his wife in bed with another man. They realize that they have grown apart over the past few years, and start attending therapy in an ultimately unsuccessful attempt to reconnect with each other.

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What's the difference between Jews, Muslims & Christians? Religious beliefs.

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Whats skinny, round, tall, smells like a dead baby, hard, small, and fat? nothing

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? He said, "Where's my tractor?"

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In Soviet Russia, there are communists.

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Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

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What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

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A guy and a girl had sex, it was casual.

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My girlfriend never swallows; she has a rare esophageal disease that's potentially fatal.

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What did the woman say to her husband after he came home from a late night of drinking? Nothing, because the last time she did, she got her ass beat.

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What happens to koala bears when the forests of Australia catch on fire? They burn.

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What's worse than heartbreak? Getting run over by a steamroller.

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BUT HWY?

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Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? You said you'd never forget.

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knock knock. who's there yourdrive yourdrive who yourdriving me up the wall

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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