Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

thumb_up thumb_down +32

what is long,hard and holds semen,a submarine , i spelled seamen wrong

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What starts with an F and ends with a UCK? Firetruck.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks around a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a man with a sack of money running from a bank? A rich man.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

person 1 - what's big, green and ugly? person 2 - don't know. what's big, green and ugly? person 1 - nothing is

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why are atheists stupid? Actually, statistically, they are more intelligent than believers.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down

Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what does a jew want most for hanukkah? presents

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Bob

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the black man perform well? Because he was a well trained musician by the name of Stevie Wonder.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what is pink and fluffly? pink fluff

thumb_up thumb_down -14

hrih

thumb_up thumb_down -16

As a teen girl was walking through the perfume shop, she picked up one called, "Swirly Paradise." She sprayed it on her and sniffed the sweet scent. Suddenly, the world spun around and she suddenly woke up inside an empty bra. A mouse sniffed her and ate her alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Grandma's dead. call the paramedics.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

If Barbie is so popular...why do you have to buy her friends?

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the tree fall? I cut it.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

A fat man on a moped

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Runescape.

thumb_up thumb_down -84

A homeless man is hungry. He then kills a college professor and has a nice dinner

thumb_up thumb_down -112

What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

thumb_up thumb_down -124

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops