Why didn't andrea clean the dishes? She had no hands

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a group of black men jumping off a building? Chocolate Rain

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A Horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'What with the long face?' and the horse replys 'i'm a f*cking horse.'

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's the difference between mw2 and mw3? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -82

What do you a a toilet with fecal matter in it? A toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

What do you call two Ethiopians standing side-by-side? Friends

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

why was the little girl crying? because her dad hit her.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

what is long,hard and holds semen,a submarine , i spelled seamen wrong

thumb_up thumb_down +33

"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I need somebody to lean on... ...Because one of my legs was amputated after I was blown up on a mine field in afganistan.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says its getting hot in here the other muffin say holy shit a talking muffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I bought a DVD called "the 18 holes of Tiger Woods". It was a fascinating incite into the golfing technique of arguably one of the greatest sportsmen of all time.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What looks and sounds just like a seagull ? A seagull.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What starts with an F and ends with a UCK? Firetruck.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Geuss what? Bob is wide awake and he likes strawberries but he didn't have any strawberries so he ate a hamburger but fred wanted a hamburger but bob ate it so he just ate bob but bob was wide awake so he saw fred eating him so he called the pigs to come and eat fred because pigs eat anything but the pigs had already eaten their daily freds so they ate bob because they hadn't already eaten their daily bob but fred had already eaten bob so they got angry at fred so they just ate him anyway but then they got fat so a wolf ate them but then some hunters killed the wolf and ate it so they are actually eating a hamburger because the wolf ate the pigs and the pigs ate fred and fred ate bob and bobb ate a hambuger but he actually likes strawberries.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the worst part about male roller blading? AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

person 1 - what's big, green and ugly? person 2 - don't know. what's big, green and ugly? person 1 - nothing is

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A: Knock knock B: "NOOOO" A: *Comes in, sees masturbating son*

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops