What happened to the boy when he did nothing? The game.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Animal cruelty

thumb_up thumb_down -68

What's black, white,and red all over? A crime scene where a black and white man were brutally murdered by a psychopath that is still on the loose and could be killing someone else.

thumb_up thumb_down -94

what's the difference between natives and dogs? people enjoy having dogs in their houses

thumb_up thumb_down +115

3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

thumb_up thumb_down +27

I can see you under there. Under what?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock Knock Who's there? It's the postman, I have a package you need to sign for.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's worse than getting Alzheimer's? ........what am I doing here.....

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between a large pizza and a black man? The pizza is a delicious Italian classic dish, while the latter is a human being which man frown at the notion of consuming.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is the similarety between a car and a banana? Both starts with B

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Richard fell off a cliff. He hit the pavement and died on contact. If only he knew he could fly.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why were the little boy's clothes all wet? because they found his body in the bottom of a river.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red Violets are purple I just got raped by a clown

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock Knock Who's There? I am. I am who? I think someone has contracted amnesia.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why doesnt Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesnt float.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops