Why did the man with brain cancer die? He drove his Segway off a cliff.

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Q: Why did the man move out of his house? A: He found another, for a better price.

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acuna

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Freeza: I am the strongest in the universe! (if you ignore my brother Coola which is much stronger and all...) Goku: You have pissed me off now Freeza, I will now turn into a super Asian and prove to the world that real Asians are actually blonde and blue eyed! (I am sure Goku means Sayans, which is "completely different") Goku: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG! Freeza: Omg, he... he... is trying to take a dump! IMPOSSIBLE! I will have to find his balls and caress them... Will Goku ever take a shit? Or reach all new levels of constipation during the series? Find out in the next episode of dragon ball z!

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What is green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree and onto your head? A pool table.

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Roses are red Violets are purple I just got raped by a clown

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Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

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Where do farmers retire their used farm equipment? The tree in their backyard.

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Susie is 14 & she never listens to her mom, why is that? She's deaf.

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Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

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Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

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Why do Mexicans like to eat burritos? They are delicious.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate flowers and am making fun of them by messing up this originally beautiful poem about those repulsive manisfestations of pure evil.

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Why did the hipster hate black people? Because he was racist.

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Your mom is so ugly, that her job prospects are affected negatively, and your family suffers as a consequence.

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Q. What's funnier than an anti-joke? A. Thousands of anti-jokes, compiled on a worldwide network.

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Knock Knock. who's there? It's me. you need to be specific...

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing set? She had no arms.

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Q: why did Helen Keller's dog kill himself? A: Because he couldn't stand to see his owner suffer through blindness and deafness and being the butt of hundreds of offensive and hurtful jokes.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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What kind of cheese is not you cheese? Not your cheese.

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was recently released from prison for violent crimes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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