26.5% of Americans are obese.

Roses are red It's 4 in the morning I have full blown aids I'm going to bed now, this is boring

Why dont you ever see any black mermaids? Mermaids dont exist.

Where do farmers retire their used farm equipment? The tree in their backyard.

I love my valentine <3 Hes mine no matter what anyone says <3 Cause i love him with all my heart <3

What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

What's black, white,and red all over? A crime scene where a black and white man were brutally murdered by a psychopath that is still on the loose and could be killing someone else.

A wolf boards a plane with two dead rabbits in his mouth. The flight attendant approaches him and says, "Sir, you can only have one of those on the plane." The wolf bites her throat out.

What's the biggest difference between the East and West Coast? About 3,000 miles.

Why did the horse have 5 legs? She was still giving birth.

Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

Q:How many doorknobs should you throw at a police man? A:None you should have upmost respect for the law.

What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

This guys walks in a forest and meets a bear. So he says : - Yo yo, whattup, bear ? And the bear says "ROAR!" Because he's a bear.

What did the paraplegic boy get for christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? Nothing, he's the same person

What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A car that is driving recklessly and happens to have a Christmas paint scheme.

What worse than a baby nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

how do you make a joke act like yourself

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

Obama.

What do you call a donkey walking backwards a confused donkey

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because my first shot missed.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...