Why can't Michael Jackson drive? Because he's dead.

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2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

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Why didn't Betty ride her bike to school? She had no legs.

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What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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What looks and sounds just like a seagull ? A seagull.

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Whats the difference between a new ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a new ferrari in my garage.

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Roses are Red Voilets are Red I am Red I am Dead

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How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, but she had a very muscular vagina.

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elliot forsythe is a paedo

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What's the worst part about male roller blading? AIDS.

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What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

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How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

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I got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen.

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A: Knock knock B: "NOOOO" A: *Comes in, sees masturbating son*

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how to u kill a baby with no arms, throw it in a pool

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Why was timmy crying? He gave his grandmother AIDs...

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Guess what? Chicken butt! No I have aids, you might want to get yourself tested

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a beer, drinks it and walks out.

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Richard fell off a cliff. He hit the pavement and died on contact. If only he knew he could fly.

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why cant the black guy vote? because hes not 18 yet.

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Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

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Why did Jack and Jill go up the hill? To get to their house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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