What is green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree and onto your head? A pool table.

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Roses are red Violets are purple I just got raped by a clown

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Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

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Where do farmers retire their used farm equipment? The tree in their backyard.

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Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a gun and he'll build you a refrigerator.

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Your momma's so ugly that she was worried that she would never marry anyone.

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What is the difference between a botlle of sun lotion and a Mexican? A bottle of sun lotion contains a lotion that protects your skin against the sun, and a Mexican is a person from Mexico.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate flowers and am making fun of them by messing up this originally beautiful poem about those repulsive manisfestations of pure evil.

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What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman immediately calls the local stable to report the missing stallion, and his owner promptly arrives to take him home. He thanks the landlord and offers a small reward, but it is respectfully declined.

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and an elephant? Two angry pachyderms.

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What happens when you turn back time? You get "emit."

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What did the dog say to the cat? I have no idea. I wasn't there.

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whats the difference between samios and a dog? Nothing.

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How do you get rid of a boomerang? There are many potential options for getting rid of your boomerang. You can choose to pass it on to somebody as a gift, make a profit through thrift stores or online auctions or perhaps sell it in a newspaper. Alternatively you may wish to simply dispose of it. The average reading speed of an American adult is 300 words per minute. This was exactly 100 words. This means that it took approximately 20 seconds to read it. This means that approximately 4 people died of cancer world wide while you read this.

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Q: what is more sad than being alone A: being alone with lots of cats

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What do you call a boy that fell off a ferry? Extremely unlucky, since one of the other passengers noticed and the captain turned the ferry around, threw him a ladder, and pulled him aboard. Also he died of hepatitis because his mother was too poor to afford condoms, so he was born with it.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

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What do you call a man who has reached the highest level of prestige in all Call of Duty games? A Virgin

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Whats the difference between a new ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a new ferrari in my garage.

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Are you from Tennessee? cuz i wanna makeout with your face.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i dont have any cones, just rods.

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why can't a blonde count to 70? cause 69 is a mouth full

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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