what did the atheist get for Christmas? Nothing. If he was being truly honest to his beliefs, he wouldn't partake in a christian holiday.

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Q: why did Helen Keller's dog kill himself? A: Because he couldn't stand to see his owner suffer through blindness and deafness and being the butt of hundreds of offensive and hurtful jokes.

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What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says its getting hot in here the other muffin say holy shit a talking muffin.

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What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

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Why was timmy crying? He gave his grandmother AIDs...

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What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause it looks like you landed on your face.

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What do you call a fly with no wings? Joseph

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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wats worse than gettin bitched at by ur mom? gettin raped by a giant scorpian n getting SUPER ULTRA MEGA AIDS

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Why did the kitten die? Because your mom is gay.

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The Holocaust

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

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What do you call a black man and woman with a little white girl? A Family.

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What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

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Whats worse than the Halocaust? Your mom

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Why did the chicken walk into Mordor? It didn't. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

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Yo mama is so fat that her dietician often recommends that she decrease her calorie intake and exercise more often to avoid risk of diabetes or potentially a stroke.

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What's worse than being a black Jew? Being a racists anti-Semite.

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What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

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whats black. an african american person

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Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

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you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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