Q:How many doorknobs should you throw at a police man? A:None you should have upmost respect for the law.

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Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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Viciously beating your children with other recently beaten children.

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

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This guys walks in a forest and meets a bear. So he says : - Yo yo, whattup, bear ? And the bear says "ROAR!" Because he's a bear.

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What did the paraplegic boy get for christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? Nothing, he's the same person

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What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A car that is driving recklessly and happens to have a Christmas paint scheme.

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how do you make a joke act like yourself

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What worse than a baby nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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Obama.

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It's black, and when it falls out of a tree, your refrigurator is broken. Your refrigurator.

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What do you call a donkey walking backwards a confused donkey

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hrih

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That joke was so funny that I fell off my dinosaur. Then afterwards had to be put in a rehabilitation center because I am schizophrenic and dinosaurs are extinct.

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Freeza: I am the strongest in the universe! (if you ignore my brother Coola which is much stronger and all...) Goku: You have pissed me off now Freeza, I will now turn into a super Asian and prove to the world that real Asians are actually blonde and blue eyed! (I am sure Goku means Sayans, which is "completely different") Goku: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG! Freeza: Omg, he... he... is trying to take a dump! IMPOSSIBLE! I will have to find his balls and caress them... Will Goku ever take a shit? Or reach all new levels of constipation during the series? Find out in the next episode of dragon ball z!

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What is green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree and onto your head? A pool table.

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Why dont you ever see any black mermaids? Mermaids dont exist.

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I love my valentine <3 Hes mine no matter what anyone says <3 Cause i love him with all my heart <3

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What did the republican say to the democrat? You suck!

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The spelling errors on anti-jokes.com

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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