Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

I have sex daily, I mean dyslexia.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A horse walks into a bar. The barman immediately calls the local stable to report the missing stallion, and his owner promptly arrives to take him home. He thanks the landlord and offers a small reward, but it is respectfully declined.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What happens when you turn back time? You get "emit."

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you get when you cross a rhino and an elephant? Two angry pachyderms.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

whats the difference between samios and a dog? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you get rid of a boomerang? There are many potential options for getting rid of your boomerang. You can choose to pass it on to somebody as a gift, make a profit through thrift stores or online auctions or perhaps sell it in a newspaper. Alternatively you may wish to simply dispose of it. The average reading speed of an American adult is 300 words per minute. This was exactly 100 words. This means that it took approximately 20 seconds to read it. This means that approximately 4 people died of cancer world wide while you read this.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: what is more sad than being alone A: being alone with lots of cats

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a boy that fell off a ferry? Extremely unlucky, since one of the other passengers noticed and the captain turned the ferry around, threw him a ladder, and pulled him aboard. Also he died of hepatitis because his mother was too poor to afford condoms, so he was born with it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

So there's this mexican with a big sombrero riding a donkey, it was a sunny day and he didn't feel like walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a man who has reached the highest level of prestige in all Call of Duty games? A Virgin

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats the difference between a new ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a new ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Are you from Tennessee? cuz i wanna makeout with your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

roses are grey, violets are grey, i dont have any cones, just rods.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why can't a blonde count to 70? cause 69 is a mouth full

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a donkey walking backwards a confused donkey

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why were the little boy's clothes all wet? because they found his body in the bottom of a river.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did Charlie fall? He got shot 24 times in the chest.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What says "Mooo"? A goat with an identity crisis.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock, Knock. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops