Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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What did the boy do when he was cold? He got a blanket.

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Why did the Calculus teacher give an Asian student an F on a test? Because he got less than 60% of the answers correct.

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240

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Punch line.

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I need somebody to lean on... ...Because one of my legs was amputated after I was blown up on a mine field in afganistan.

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What's 8 inches long and makes my girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth? Her miscarriage

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What looks and sounds just like a seagull ? A seagull.

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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I bought a DVD called "the 18 holes of Tiger Woods". It was a fascinating incite into the golfing technique of arguably one of the greatest sportsmen of all time.

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Roses are Red Voilets are Red I am Red I am Dead

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

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what do you call a homosexual kid? A Kerich

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What starts with an F and ends with a UCK? Firetruck.

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A man walks around a bar.

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How do you get rid of a boomerang? There are many potential options for getting rid of your boomerang. You can choose to pass it on to somebody as a gift, make a profit through thrift stores or online auctions or perhaps sell it in a newspaper. Alternatively you may wish to simply dispose of it. The average reading speed of an American adult is 300 words per minute. This was exactly 100 words. This means that it took approximately 20 seconds to read it. This means that approximately 4 people died of cancer world wide while you read this.

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What's black and blue and red all over? A person who was just in a fight.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

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Hi

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It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

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Why did Sally fall of the Swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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what does a jew want most for hanukkah? presents

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Your d*ck is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

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Roses are red violets are blue ... Aww I just don't give a damn and nether do you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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