Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

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A man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" he shouted after he stubbed his toe on a table.

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Why did the fireman wear suspenders? To keep his pants up.

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you say "ask me if im a tree" he says "r u a tree?" you say"no..." then just stare at them

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why were the little boy's clothes all wet? because they found his body in the bottom of a river.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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what did the mexican firefighter name his two sons. Ryan and Mike.......

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A Horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'What with the long face?' and the horse replys 'i'm a f*cking horse.'

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whats the hardest part of roller skating. Telling your dad that you are gay.

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: Banana! B: Not you again..(slams door)

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What do you call a black man and woman with a little white girl? A Family.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I like to sniff your hair when you are asleep.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They brutally whipped and tortured her.

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Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

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Why did the chicken walk into Mordor? It didn't. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

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If you helped Jack on the horse, would you help Jack off the horse? Of course; if he was too short to climb onto the saddle then it would be irresponsible and potentially dangerous not to help him off. As his riding instructor, you would be liable for any injuries Jack sustained had he attempted to dismount the horse with no assistance.

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why did the ginger start crying. because people through bricks at him!

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What happens if Pinocchio says "My nose is about to grow." Nothing, Pinocchio was a fictional character created by Walt Disney.

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what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names.

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Why Did the baby cross the street? He was stapled to the chicken's back

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Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

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Two cannibals are eating around a fire in the jungle, and one turns to the other and says "Does this taste funny to you?" Oh yeah, and they're eating a clown.

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I used to be an Adventurer like you... But then I decided that it was a dangerous form of employment and stopped.

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was mercilessly beaten by his mother.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops