Why does an Irish cop wear a belt? To hold up his pants.

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What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

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So a priest and an atheist sit next to eachother train After talking to eachother for a short period of time, the priest discovers the other man's beliefs and procededs to spend the rest of the ride trying to convert the atheist. Incredibly irritated the atheist gets off the train a stop early to escape the tirade. The next day the atheist sees on tv that the train crashed right after getting off, and the priest is listed amongst the people killed in the accident. He is ecstatic, and says to himself "ha, proof of divine retribution," but then he feels confused because he realizes he doesn't believe in a god...

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pedophile

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I used to be an Adventurer like you... But then I decided that it was a dangerous form of employment and stopped.

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what do giraffes have that other animals don't have? -baby giraffes

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To be honest that sounds like more of a mental health issue and not something I'm qualified to deal with as a GP. Let me refer you.

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a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? there were no more cars in the way

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Your mama's so fat, she gets confused with Santa Claus.

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Yo mamma's so stupid, she dropped out of college.

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how to u kill a baby with no arms, throw it in a pool

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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why were the little boy's clothes all wet? because they found his body in the bottom of a river.

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was mercilessly beaten by his mother.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why did the pollock jump into the sea? A pollock is a fish.

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Why did the black man shoot everyone? Because he is black

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What's sad about four black people in a Cadillac driving off a cliff? Jerome never wanted it to end like this. James, his best friend, was drunk... Again. That was just the way he was. He got wasted, did something stupid, apologized, and then did it again. But this time, there would be no next time. They were supposed to be going to their graduation party, but instead, James fell asleep at the wheel. The cliff was rapidly approaching, and the doors were locked. All Jerome could do now was pray. Also, the Cadillac costed a lot.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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lebron

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A fat man on a moped

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Why wasn't the 7 year old boy happy? I shot him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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