roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

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What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

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What would be funny? Seeing justin beiber 's penis.

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why did the ginger start crying. because people through bricks at him!

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Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Because he was dead.

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Why did the blonde fall down? She got shot in the head.

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Why don't Polish girls swim in the sea? The only sea that Poland borders on is the Baltic. Throughout most of the year this sea is too cold to comfortably swim in.

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Two cannibals are eating around a fire in the jungle, and one turns to the other and says "Does this taste funny to you?" Oh yeah, and they're eating a clown.

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How did the fat man die? Someone who was mad at society shot him and many others in the head while at the workplace.

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A man walks around a bar.

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-rick:hey wut happens wen i pull this pin -jerry:rick no!!!!! rick then starts to cry as he remembers the tragic accident that caused his friends death,which rick caused

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Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

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Why coulden't the fish swim? He got poked in the eye with my nipple. My nipples get really big when I'm swimming in cold water.

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I used to be an Adventurer like you... But then I decided that it was a dangerous form of employment and stopped.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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What is white, and hurts when it falls from a tree? -tom

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Why do u call a book a book??? Cause it is a book!!!

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knock knock. who's there pismil pismil who pigsmil cookies

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Why did the black man perform well? Because he was a well trained musician by the name of Stevie Wonder.

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To be honest that sounds like more of a mental health issue and not something I'm qualified to deal with as a GP. Let me refer you.

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What's the difference between donuts and dead babies I don't have a pile of donuts in my garage

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why were the little boy's clothes all wet? because they found his body in the bottom of a river.

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Why did the vegetarian only work one day? Because her co-workers are cannibals.

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What's yellow and dangerous? China.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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