3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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What's yellow and can not swim? A Bulldozer

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Knock knock

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what do you call a homosexual kid? A Kerich

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How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

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The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

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Did you hear the one about the priest, the rabbi, the astronaut, the olympic diver, the mcdonald's employee, and the web designer? Neither did I...

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Knock knock whose there? i have a warrant, i excpect you to come out peacefully with you hands behind you back

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Why do u call a book a book??? Cause it is a book!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? there were no more cars in the way

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what did the Spanish priest say to the Ukranian gynocologist? *fart*

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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a:two guys are white but one of the guys can only see black and white so he said dude you black he said no so they have a race who won :nobody they both got hit by a bus then a car then a donkey eaea then a horse

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Yo mammas so fat she went on a diet.

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Q. The square root of 69 is 8 something, right? A. Yes, to be exact it is 8.30662386.

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Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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hrih

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Roses are red Violets are purple I just got raped by a clown

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Knock Knock Who's There? I am. I am who? I think someone has contracted amnesia.

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Why did the black man shoot everyone? Because he is black

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What do you do to someone you hate very much? You kill them.

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panda bears are racist to mexicans-they are black, white and asian

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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