"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Your mother who?" "Really?"

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Q: what is more sad than being alone A: being alone with lots of cats

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Why did Windows crash ? F*ck Windows, that's why.

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What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

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Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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why was the man itchy? because he had herpies

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How do you occupy a blonde for hours ? Give her a long list of stuff to do.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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you say "ask me if im a tree" he says "r u a tree?" you say"no..." then just stare at them

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Boom.

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What is the difference between obama and a hobo. NOTHING

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Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

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After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

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Why did the kitten die? Because your mom is gay.

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What's the difference between a tube of toothpaste and Youtube? If you squeeze a tube of toothpaste then toothpaste comes out. You cannot squeeze Youtube because it is a popular video sharing website. Even if you could squeeze it, no toothpaste would come out..

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whats the main reason Mexicans have legs? so they can stand.

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A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

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What a vase and a cheeseburger have in common? It has it's price.

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What is pink and smells like green paint? Pink paint

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whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops