Q:What colors make black? A:Nothing Thats a Shade

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(in a retarted voice) i want to go to disneyland

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Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

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What goes in long and hard and comes out wet and sticky? A penis after orgasmic intercourse.

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Why did Jack and Jill go up the hill? To get to their house.

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What rhymes with you? You.

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What is the difference between obama and a hobo. NOTHING

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26.5% of Americans are obese.

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What has two legs and graduated from ninja school? Okyrin Sakajuru. He also went on to win two all city titles and roundhouse kick of the day, performed on a wild tiger. As time passes, he stops practicing and becomes a lethargic street criminal. He is eventually captured by local authorities and charged with the robberies and two counts of aggravated assault. Leaving his children behind to the system where they are neglected and depressed about their fathers situation. He makes bail after 3 months and opens a strip club for dwarfs but loses it all after not finding stripper poles that are dwarf friendly.

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What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

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Why was the boy sad? I don't know, ask him.

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How do you fit 1,000 Jews in a Volkswagen? Trick question, you can't.

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vn[oiaehsobv[khpogjglprljffknfsiphgeknkldfekageriyreojgyperogerpojregkeporg? cuase u stupid and this stupid joke is to

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What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? A warm meal thanks to a Charity organization.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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what did the duck say to the chicken .nothing

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Why did the Calculus teacher give an Asian student an F on a test? Because he got less than 60% of the answers correct.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

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Knock, knock! “Who's there?” “The Gestapo.”

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What's worse than being gay? Dying in a gas chamber in the Holocaust.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing set? She had no arms.

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You're momma's so fat, she's got high cholesterol.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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