Chuck Norris can watch TV.

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How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

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Wat do you do when you see aomeone bleeding on the ground? Walk away and act like nothing happened

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what's the difference between natives and dogs? people enjoy having dogs in their houses

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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Women's Rights

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What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Why did the blonde fall down? She got shot in the head.

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Two elephants are in a bath tub. The first elephant says to the other elephant, "can you pass the soap?" The second elephant then replied, "No soap, radio."

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Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "MOOOOO!". The other makes an unremarkably similar noise.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he met Larry.

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A man walks around a bar.

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Why did the girl say 'baa'? Because she was a lamb.

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How many hispanics does it take to screw in a light bulb. One. Just one. You just screw it in, it's not that complicated.

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How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

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So a priest and an atheist sit next to eachother train After talking to eachother for a short period of time, the priest discovers the other man's beliefs and procededs to spend the rest of the ride trying to convert the atheist. Incredibly irritated the atheist gets off the train a stop early to escape the tirade. The next day the atheist sees on tv that the train crashed right after getting off, and the priest is listed amongst the people killed in the accident. He is ecstatic, and says to himself "ha, proof of divine retribution," but then he feels confused because he realizes he doesn't believe in a god...

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knock knock. who's there pismil pismil who pigsmil cookies

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A man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" he shouted after he stubbed his toe on a table.

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123457

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Two muffins are in an oven. They are then baked at 375 for about 30 minutes and then taken out to cool.

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Why do people discriminate against black people? Because they show an undeserving amount of disrespect towards the rest of the world and why should they get anything better than what they offer.

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Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Grandma's dead. call the paramedics.

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A man walks into a bar. "Excuse me sir," he asks, "may I have a beer?" "No," says the bartender.

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A black guy, a Mexican guy and a Jew walk into a hospital. They are all undergoing the same chemotherapy treatment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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