well it rained all night the day i left, the weather it was dry, i can't remember the words but susana don't you cry oh susana don't you cry for me for i come from alabama with a banjo on my knee oh

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A rhinoceros walks into a bar. As it felt threatened by the presence of many humans, the rhino attacks and kills several people with the big horn on its nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: why are kittens so cute? A: because god created them that way. go fourth and enjoy kittens.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

a man walks into a bar he is an alcohol and it's ruining his family

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did Benjamin Franklin go to the movies? Dim message, sapi message=InputBox("Find Out","Why did Benjamin Franklin Go To the Movies?") Set sapi=CreateObject("sapi.spvoice") sapi.Speak message

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What goes in long and hard and comes out wet and sticky? A penis after orgasmic intercourse.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

acuna

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the priest do when he noticed the young boy bent over picking up crayons he had dropped? He helped him pick them up

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

thumb_up thumb_down +95

What did the little crippled boy get for his birthday? He's an orphan so he doesn't know his birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

vn[oiaehsobv[khpogjglprljffknfsiphgeknkldfekageriyreojgyperogerpojregkeporg? cuase u stupid and this stupid joke is to

thumb_up thumb_down +67

your mama is so stupid i believe she will have a difficult time finding employment in these rough economic times

thumb_up thumb_down +59

equality for women

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Why did the Calculus teacher give an Asian student an F on a test? Because he got less than 60% of the answers correct.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

1134

thumb_up thumb_down +41

roses are red, violets are blue when ever l flush the toilet i think of you

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the hipster hate black people? Because he was racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

whats silver and cries? a coin, although it can't cry because its a coin. So it's just silver

thumb_up thumb_down +29

My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A black, a muslim, and a communist walk into a bar, the bartender says "what will it be Mr. President?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops