A man is sitting on a bench in a park crying a man walking by asks why he's crying, and the man answers that he has no idea why he's crying

A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: Banana! B: Not you again..(slams door)

A blind man walks into a bar Backs up, and walks around it.

How Long is a Chinese name.

A kitten walks into a bar and orders a saucer of milk. Everyone enjoys the novelty of his presence.

A muslim checks in at an airport and gets on a plane. He reads a book about knitting, gets off the plane at France and goes back to his job as a librarian.

Why do Jewish people like money so much? Because they can exchange it for goods and services

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? A warm meal thanks to a Charity organization.

Why can't Michael Jackson drive? Because he's dead.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

A guy walks into a bar. He then comes home at 4 a.m. to beat his wife.

Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

Why was the little boy sad? He tried to dry off his puppy in the oven.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? Aye, ye be thinkin' it to be "ARRRR" - but it be the C

What's more stinky than a fart? More farts.

What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

Why did the one pound coin cross the road? It was stuck up the chickens ass

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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