Why did the deaf man go to the concert? He had recently acquired a brand new hearing aid which meant that he was able to hear much better and decided that he wanted to listen to some music.

Why did the girl say 'baa'? Because she was a lamb.

Wanna hear a joke!? Miley Cyrus.

how do you wake up lady gaga poke her face

How do you make a blond to shoot herself? You give her a gun and than ask her to pull the trigger.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing set? She had no arms.

knock knock who's there ? dogs dogs who? phone

You're momma's so fat, she's got high cholesterol.

Q: what is more sad than being alone A: being alone with lots of cats

How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

Whats the difference between a new ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a new ferrari in my garage.

i'm a loser with body odor.. plus i play pokemon to pass the time because reality is just to horrible to face. guess who? josh wood.

two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

Why did the boy go swimming in the ocean? He didn't. the current pulled him in and he drowned.

How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

Knock Knock Who's There? Boo Boo Who? Boo Smith, I'm the town rapist.

There once was an Asian kid who got a B+ in Math. He was later yelled at and beat by his parents.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because my first shot missed.

To be honest that sounds like more of a mental health issue and not something I'm qualified to deal with as a GP. Let me refer you.

Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

acuna

What goes in long and hard and comes out wet and sticky? A penis after orgasmic intercourse.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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