(Q) Why did the little boy cross the road? (A) To get to the police officer. (Q) Why did the little boy need the police officer? (A) because he was raped.

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Your mom smells so bad that she proceeded to take a shower and then didnt smell bad at all.

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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I like my coffee like i like my woman, Without a penis.

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Why did Michael Jackson ask a Best Buy clerk for the best 3D TV? He didn't ... He's dead.

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One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

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What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

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Why did the hipster hate black people? Because he was racist.

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What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

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How do you make a blond to shoot herself? You give her a gun and than ask her to pull the trigger.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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Q: what is more sad than being alone A: being alone with lots of cats

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A blonde walks into a library. "PLEASE CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER?!" he shouts at the top of his lungs. "Sir, this is a library," the librarian says. "Oh, sorry," he whispers and goes to McDonald's Two years of the routine and he dies of of heart failure and has diabetes.

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Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the slaughter house

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What worse than a baby nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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Hi

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What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

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Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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What do you call a donkey walking backwards a confused donkey

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Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

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Freeza: I am the strongest in the universe! (if you ignore my brother Coola which is much stronger and all...) Goku: You have pissed me off now Freeza, I will now turn into a super Asian and prove to the world that real Asians are actually blonde and blue eyed! (I am sure Goku means Sayans, which is "completely different") Goku: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG! Freeza: Omg, he... he... is trying to take a dump! IMPOSSIBLE! I will have to find his balls and caress them... Will Goku ever take a shit? Or reach all new levels of constipation during the series? Find out in the next episode of dragon ball z!

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Roses are red It's 4 in the morning I have full blown aids I'm going to bed now, this is boring

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Hey, is that your corvette. No I thought it was yours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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