Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

Why did Michael Jackson ask a Best Buy clerk for the best 3D TV? He didn't ... He's dead.

Why did the blonde fall down? She got shot in the head.

Knock knock Who's there? Labrinth Come in

Why did the horse have 5 legs? She was still giving birth.

Why did the girl say 'baa'? Because she was a lamb.

Obama 2012

A BABY seal walks into a club

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

A man walked in a bar had 4 drinks and walked home because drunk driving is dangerous

i'm a loser with body odor.. plus i play pokemon to pass the time because reality is just to horrible to face. guess who? josh wood.

why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist -lschles

a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

Whats orange and has stripes? - a tiger

The Colts this year.

FIRE!!

how to u kill a baby with no arms, throw it in a pool

What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause it looks like you landed on your face.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

A Asian man with a boner runs and hits the wall... He beaks his nose.

A black man bought a large condom because he has a big penis.

One time, I ate 3 chipotle burritos....after a tennis match

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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