when god gives you lemons, you find a new god!

Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

What is the most attractive part of a woman's body? The part where she doesn't have a penis. I know, I know, the no-penis thing looks weird and strange, but hear me out. I think it's kind of cute and quirky. Like, oops, there's something that's supposed to be there, but isn't.

Q: What did the mime say to the crowd gathered at the crime scene? A:

Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Cadillac? A Cadillac is a car, and a dead baby is a morose and disgusting topic of internet humor.

There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

why was the boy in his closet? He is hiding because his father beats him because he is gay.

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

Your mama is so poor that she is on welfare, but she is ashamed to tell you and cries herself to sleep every night.

Q. What's funnier than an anti-joke? A. Thousands of anti-jokes, compiled on a worldwide network.

Knock Knock Who's there? Sargeant John Smith mam. I regret to inform you that your husband died in the line of fire - I'm sorry.

What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

What's the difference between a large pizza and a black man? The pizza is a delicious Italian classic dish, while the latter is a human being which man frown at the notion of consuming.

A frog found a smoking cigarette on the road, so he/she takes it, smokes it, and explodes.

how do you get a cow in the fridge? Open the fridge, and insert. How do you get a kangaroo in the fridge? Take the cow out and insert What animal is not in the lion king? kangaroo --WHY hes still in the fridge

So a priest and an atheist sit next to eachother train After talking to eachother for a short period of time, the priest discovers the other man's beliefs and procededs to spend the rest of the ride trying to convert the atheist. Incredibly irritated the atheist gets off the train a stop early to escape the tirade. The next day the atheist sees on tv that the train crashed right after getting off, and the priest is listed amongst the people killed in the accident. He is ecstatic, and says to himself "ha, proof of divine retribution," but then he feels confused because he realizes he doesn't believe in a god...

What's white and sticky? A white stick.

What is white, and hurts when it falls from a tree? -tom

why was the man itchy? because he had herpies

you know what they say... hydrate or die

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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