The big problem with politicians is they're always lying but fortunately there's always a moment when it's not a problem anymore. When they do it down in their tombs.

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roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

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What did the little crippled boy get for his birthday? He's an orphan so he doesn't know his birthday.

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Your mom smells so bad that she proceeded to take a shower and then didnt smell bad at all.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? A warm meal thanks to a Charity organization.

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

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What do you call a pig with no arms? A pig, pigs don't have arms

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how do you wake up lady gaga poke her face

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what do giraffes have that other animals don't have? -baby giraffes

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what's worse than jamming a finger in a door the holocaust what's worse than the holocaust jamming 2 fingers in a door

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

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What's brown and smells Iike crap? My brother he doesn't shower and is Hispanic

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Why did the chicken cross the road? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU CARE? LET THE POOR CHICKEN IN PEACE! No, seriously he was going to his mother's funeral.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot. *BOOM* Never mind, he was a terrorist.

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Two black guys walk into a country club and ask to play a round of golf. They are turned away because the aren't members of the club.

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Knock Knock "Who's There?" *No answer* The man proceeds to go on with his life

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It's black, and when it falls out of a tree, your refrigurator is broken. Your refrigurator.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? He was on his way home from work and saw some youths loitering on the street corner and thought it best to avoid them and therefore any possible confrontation. He would also appreciate it if you would call him something along the lines of Bravery impaired instead of a chicken as he finds it offensive and doesn't fully understand the avian reference to his lack of confidence.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Yo Momma's so old... She has lived a great life and you should be very proud of her even though she is slowly dying of a degenerative disease.

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A man walked into a bar. What did he say? Ouch.

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What do you call a donkey walking backwards a confused donkey

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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