what did batman Say to robin before they got into the car? get in the car

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

what is darker than black?... YOU

A fat man on a moped

How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

What rymes with milk..... milf

how do you stop a baby crying hit it with a brick.

What's brown and says "Hey, I'm a dog"? A talking dog, able to grasp the English language.

Yo Mama is so stupid, she was riding her bike down the street when she was distracted and rode off a cliff. Oh crap I am so sorry.

Why did the white man accuse the black man of stealing his wallet? Because they were the only two men in the room at the time of the theft

A black man, a Jewish man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They are all good friends who want to enjoy drinks together.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I got a terminal disease and I'm going to die in six months. Mom if you're reading this I love you. Take good care of Joey.

Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

What do you call a black guy eating fried chicken? His name.

Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Because he was dead.

what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names.

Why didn't the man enter the bus driven by a black man ? It wasn't going where the man had to go.

Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

What type of cheese is not your cheese? The cheese that belongs to another person.

A BABY seal walks into a club

Why did the girl say 'baa'? Because she was a lamb.

What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

Why coulden't the fish swim? He got poked in the eye with my nipple. My nipples get really big when I'm swimming in cold water.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...