Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate flowers and am making fun of them by messing up this originally beautiful poem about those repulsive manisfestations of pure evil.

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One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

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Why did Michael Jackson ask a Best Buy clerk for the best 3D TV? He didn't ... He's dead.

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Whats better than winning a Paralympic Gold Medal? Having Legs.

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What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

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Whats worse than contracting H.I.V.? nothing

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whats silver and cries? a coin, although it can't cry because its a coin. So it's just silver

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What's worse than being gay? Dying in a gas chamber in the Holocaust.

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What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

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knock knock who's there ? dogs dogs who? phone

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Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

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Why did the one pound coin cross the road? It was stuck up the chickens ass

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally weighed 500 lbs and it was a bamboo tree.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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if you have hair on the palm of your hand you might want to get that checked out

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a bowling ball? You can't pick up a bowling ball with a pitchfork.

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Q:What colors make black? A:Nothing Thats a Shade

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Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

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why were the little boy's clothes all wet? because they found his body in the bottom of a river.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

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Why did the black man shoot everyone? Because he is black

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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