A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

A fat man on a moped

Where do you put a black jew? In the back of the.... oh wait i have never seen a black jew before.

How Long is a Chinese name.

why did the blond stare at a carton of orange juice for 2 hours? because she was reading the nutrition list, and she is a slow and patient reader.

Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

Why did the blonde fall down? She got shot in the head.

Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

why was the little girl crying? because her dad hit her.

how do you wake up lady gaga poke her face

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, She gave me AIDS, and I gave 'em to you! <3 <3

What do Kenyans do at night? Starve.

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender-"Hey we don't serve your kind here!" The duck-"What ducks?" The bartender -"No Jewish"

What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? Aye, ye be thinkin' it to be "ARRRR" - but it be the C

What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

Why are leprechauns so happy? The grass tickles their balls

How did Hitler make the world a better place? He died.

Why does an Irish cop wear a belt? To hold up his pants.

Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

Why was timmy crying? He gave his grandmother AIDs...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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