Why doesnt Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesnt float.

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How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

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Chuck Norris can watch TV.

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what is the difference of a duck..... it neither wears tie.....

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Why did Aodhan not come into school? He was sick.

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Q: What did the one legged homeless person get for christmass? A: Frostbite.

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What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

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Why did the Calculus teacher give an Asian student an F on a test? Because he got less than 60% of the answers correct.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

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knock knock. I have a doorbell, you don't have to knock.

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How did the fat man die? Someone who was mad at society shot him and many others in the head while at the workplace.

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Come in" "Come in who?"

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What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

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What do you call a black man jumping out of a plane? A skydiver

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A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

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What do you call a man with three testicles? Polyorchid. Look it up.

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I have a knock knock joke. You start.

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Knock knock whose there? i have a warrant, i excpect you to come out peacefully with you hands behind you back

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What's round and red? A round and red solid.

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i'm a loser with body odor.. plus i play pokemon to pass the time because reality is just to horrible to face. guess who? josh wood.

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Why coulden't the fish swim? He got poked in the eye with my nipple. My nipples get really big when I'm swimming in cold water.

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A: Knock knock B: "NOOOO" A: *Comes in, sees masturbating son*

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Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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