A guy walks into a bar. He then comes home at 4 a.m. to beat his wife.

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Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

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What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

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Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

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What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Why was the little boy sad? He tried to dry off his puppy in the oven.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? Aye, ye be thinkin' it to be "ARRRR" - but it be the C

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What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

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What's more stinky than a fart? More farts.

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How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

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Why did the one pound coin cross the road? It was stuck up the chickens ass

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

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Q: What did the boy do when his mom asked him to put away his clothes? A: Yes. PS: If that wasn't funny to you, then go f**k off. You clearly don't have any sence of humor and you should see someone about that, like a mental health doctor.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist -lschles

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What did the FBI agent say to the CIA agent. We're both agents

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Chickens are raised on farms, which are away from society. They are taken care of in pens, and have no way of escaping. Therefore it couldn't have crossed any roads.

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Knock Knock Come in Thank you very much. Don't mention it. Would you like a home made spinach roll?

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What did the Spanish immigrant say? Olah.

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wat does T.J.C.S. Mean? leave an comment to answer

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why does king kong so fat? because he eats to much

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Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He has insomnia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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