America Votes

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Whats better than winning a Paralympic Gold Medal? Having Legs.

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Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

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roses are red, violets are blue when ever l flush the toilet i think of you

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -.......

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Why did the deaf man go to the concert? He had recently acquired a brand new hearing aid which meant that he was able to hear much better and decided that he wanted to listen to some music.

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Why did the hipster hate black people? Because he was racist.

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My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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knock knock whos there ? Jordan Jordan who ? Jordan Walters

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What did the idiot call his pet zebra? Charlie. The fact that the man is an idiot is irrelevant.

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and an elephant? Two angry pachyderms.

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Why is it bees travel in formation, one side is longer than the other? ... There are more bees on one side

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knock knock who's there ? dogs dogs who? phone

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42

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist -lschles

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced to against his will by a group of marauding ninjas who happened to be strolling by at the time.

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Whats orange and has stripes? - a tiger

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because my first shot missed.

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how many indians does it take to screw in a light bulb? one if it can reach 2 if it's high.One to screw in the bulb the other to hold the ladder.

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A man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" he shouted after he stubbed his toe on a table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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