Wat do you do when you see aomeone bleeding on the ground? Walk away and act like nothing happened

why did the blond stare at a carton of orange juice for 2 hours? because she was reading the nutrition list, and she is a slow and patient reader.

Q: What did the mime say to the crowd gathered at the crime scene? A:

America Votes

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot you racist.

Why did the horse have 5 legs? She was still giving birth.

Q: what is more sad than being alone A: being alone with lots of cats

This guys walks in a forest and meets a bear. So he says : - Yo yo, whattup, bear ? And the bear says "ROAR!" Because he's a bear.

why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

You.

Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the slaughter house

What is black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

What's worse than dropping an ice cream cone? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Dropping two ice cream cones.

What did the muffin say to the other muffin? "Hello, nice to meet you."

What is the difference between a dead baby and a bowling ball? You can't pick up a bowling ball with a pitchfork.

What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

why does king kong so fat? because he eats to much

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because my first shot missed.

Q: Why did the man move out of his house? A: He found another, for a better price.

A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

Why was the boy sad? I don't know, ask him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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