(in a retarted voice) i want to go to disneyland

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Q. The square root of 69 is 8 something, right? A. Yes, to be exact it is 8.30662386.

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What goes in long and hard and comes out wet and sticky? A penis after orgasmic intercourse.

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acuna

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall red? depends on how hard you throw em

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

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What did the priest do when he noticed the young boy bent over picking up crayons he had dropped? He helped him pick them up

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How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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I just lost the game where if you think about the game then you lose the game. so did you.

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What has four wheels and can fly? A flying car What else has four wheels and can fly? Another flying car

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Q: What did the mime say to the crowd gathered at the crime scene? A:

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? A warm meal thanks to a Charity organization.

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What's the biggest difference between the East and West Coast? About 3,000 miles.

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what did the duck say to the chicken .nothing

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Why did the Calculus teacher give an Asian student an F on a test? Because he got less than 60% of the answers correct.

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Whats better than winning a Paralympic Gold Medal? Having Legs.

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roses are red, violets are blue when ever l flush the toilet i think of you

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Why did the hipster hate black people? Because he was racist.

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

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Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

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A black, a muslim, and a communist walk into a bar, the bartender says "what will it be Mr. President?

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You're momma's so fat, she's got high cholesterol.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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