What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? A warm meal thanks to a Charity organization.

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how do you stop a baby crying hit it with a brick.

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -.......

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What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

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What's better than winning a Gold Medal in the Special Olympics? Not being handicapped in the first place.

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What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings

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what's the difference between a duck? one leg is the same.

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whats silver and cries? a coin, although it can't cry because its a coin. So it's just silver

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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What's worse than being gay? Dying in a gas chamber in the Holocaust.

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pedophile

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what do giraffes have that other animals don't have? -baby giraffes

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w8's white and speaks russian a russian stronk

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Q: What did the boy do when his mom asked him to put away his clothes? A: Yes. PS: If that wasn't funny to you, then go f**k off. You clearly don't have any sence of humor and you should see someone about that, like a mental health doctor.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Were your parents drunk when they named you?

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

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Why did the golfer take an extra pair of pants to the golf course? In case they ripped and he needed a replacement.

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A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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Where do you put a black jew? In the back of the.... oh wait i have never seen a black jew before.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Awkward silence Awkward silence who? ...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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