Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? This isn't a car

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Why didn't Betty ride her bike to school? She had no legs.

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I need somebody to lean on... ...Because one of my legs was amputated after I was blown up on a mine field in afganistan.

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poo poo you you doo doo too too

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How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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What looks and sounds just like a seagull ? A seagull.

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Why did the man go to jail? He abused and later murdered his spouse.

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Knock knock Who's there? A friend. But I don't have any friends.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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person 1 - what's big, green and ugly? person 2 - don't know. what's big, green and ugly? person 1 - nothing is

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knock knock. who's there pismil pismil who pigsmil cookies

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Your d*ck is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

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Why did the black man perform well? Because he was a well trained musician by the name of Stevie Wonder.

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What do you call a fly with no wings? Joseph

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A frog found a smoking cigarette on the road, so he/she takes it, smokes it, and explodes.

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What is one plus one? I don't want to do math.

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Why do black people always say to the left to the left... because they don't have rights.

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As a teen girl was walking through the perfume shop, she picked up one called, "Swirly Paradise." She sprayed it on her and sniffed the sweet scent. Suddenly, the world spun around and she suddenly woke up inside an empty bra. A mouse sniffed her and ate her alive.

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a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What's the difference between mw2 and mw3? Nothing

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Runescape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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