I went to the store and I fell

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A woman got in her car to drive to work. She kept her hands on the wheel and eyes on the road and was able to avoid any accidents that could have occurred.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Chickens are raised on farms, which are away from society. They are taken care of in pens, and have no way of escaping. Therefore it couldn't have crossed any roads.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Knock Knock Come in Thank you very much. Don't mention it. Would you like a home made spinach roll?

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Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

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Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

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A black man bought a large condom because he has a big penis.

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What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, the sky is grey so is the grass everything is grey, as i am colourblind

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Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

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What do you call a group of homosexuals placing an order at McDonalds? Gay

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas? cancer

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What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

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What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

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what did the duck say to the chicken .nothing

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Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

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What's better than winning a Gold Medal in the Special Olympics? Not being handicapped in the first place.

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What did the idiot call his pet zebra? Charlie. The fact that the man is an idiot is irrelevant.

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What's blue and orange at the bottom of a swimming pool? A dead baby, why's it there? I popped the arm bands.

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Roses are red, Muslims are brown, When I see them swimming, I hope that they drown!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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