Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and an elephant? Two angry pachyderms.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced to against his will by a group of marauding ninjas who happened to be strolling by at the time.

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how do you get expelled? Rape a special ed kid.

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A blind man walks into a bar and a table and a lady....

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A guy walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

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a man walks into a bar he is an alcohol and it's ruining his family

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Knock, Knock. Come in.

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What has two legs and graduated from ninja school? Okyrin Sakajuru. He also went on to win two all city titles and roundhouse kick of the day, performed on a wild tiger. As time passes, he stops practicing and becomes a lethargic street criminal. He is eventually captured by local authorities and charged with the robberies and two counts of aggravated assault. Leaving his children behind to the system where they are neglected and depressed about their fathers situation. He makes bail after 3 months and opens a strip club for dwarfs but loses it all after not finding stripper poles that are dwarf friendly.

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Roses are red violets are blue ... Aww I just don't give a damn and nether do you.

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How's your mum? she's dead..

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How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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Q: What did the mime say to the crowd gathered at the crime scene? A:

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What happens when you throw a cricket bat at a blonde? She is hurt and reports you to the police for anti-social behaviour.

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Why did Michael Jackson ask a Best Buy clerk for the best 3D TV? He didn't ... He's dead.

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What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

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roses are red, violets are blue when ever l flush the toilet i think of you

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Why did the deaf man go to the concert? He had recently acquired a brand new hearing aid which meant that he was able to hear much better and decided that he wanted to listen to some music.

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Knock, knock! “Who's there?” “The Gestapo.”

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Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

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Did you hear about that show where two crazy guy got on stage and the show had to be canceled. I didnt either.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the postman, I have a package you need to sign for.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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