What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

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What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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Yo mammas so fat she went on a diet.

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Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause it looks like you landed on your face.

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What do you call a fly with no wings? Joseph

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Why did the black man shoot everyone? Because he is black

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

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Why did the man mysteriously disappear? Because he was hiding without telling anyone that he was hiding.

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Kony 2012

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What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

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Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

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What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

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Whats worse than the Halocaust? Your mom

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Yo mama is so fat that her dietician often recommends that she decrease her calorie intake and exercise more often to avoid risk of diabetes or potentially a stroke.

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Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

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whats black. an african american person

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A man walks into a bar... But, it's not funny because he's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

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Knock, knock! “Who's there?” “The Gestapo.”

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Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

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What's the difference between black people and white people? Their skin color.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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