I have sex daily, I mean dyslexia.

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Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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1134

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -.......

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Q:How many doorknobs should you throw at a police man? A:None you should have upmost respect for the law.

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Why did the girl say 'baa'? Because she was a lamb.

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whats silver and cries? a coin, although it can't cry because its a coin. So it's just silver

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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Nate has 32 candy bars. he eats 28 of them. What is he left with? 4 candy bars

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Ice cream You scream We all scream Because there is a murderer killing our friends

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Why did the one pound coin cross the road? It was stuck up the chickens ass

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How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

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How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

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Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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how do you make a joke act like yourself

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a bowling ball? You can't pick up a bowling ball with a pitchfork.

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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69.9

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Why did the duck cross the road? To get cream cheese.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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