Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and Santa Claus are on a plane. This is impossible because Santa Claus does not exist.

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I can see you under there. Under what?

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what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot you racist.

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A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

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What do you call a black man jumping out of a plane? A skydiver

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the postman, I have a package you need to sign for.

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A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

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Did you hear about the black man who went to college? Me too! I'm so proud of him!

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What's worse than getting Alzheimer's? ........what am I doing here.....

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knock! knock! who's there? mom mom who? your mom... your girlfriend just died in a car accident while carrying you baby...

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How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

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So a priest and an atheist sit next to eachother train After talking to eachother for a short period of time, the priest discovers the other man's beliefs and procededs to spend the rest of the ride trying to convert the atheist. Incredibly irritated the atheist gets off the train a stop early to escape the tirade. The next day the atheist sees on tv that the train crashed right after getting off, and the priest is listed amongst the people killed in the accident. He is ecstatic, and says to himself "ha, proof of divine retribution," but then he feels confused because he realizes he doesn't believe in a god...

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What's the difference between a large pizza and a black man? The pizza is a delicious Italian classic dish, while the latter is a human being which man frown at the notion of consuming.

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What's green and has wheels? A cucumber with wheels.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

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Richard fell off a cliff. He hit the pavement and died on contact. If only he knew he could fly.

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Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

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Why do black people always say to the left to the left... because they don't have rights.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.

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Roses are red Violets are purple I just got raped by a clown

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Why did the black man shoot everyone? Because he is black

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How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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