Why coulden't the fish swim? He got poked in the eye with my nipple. My nipples get really big when I'm swimming in cold water.

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knock knock. who's there pismil pismil who pigsmil cookies

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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So there were two palm trees on an island. The first palm tree says to the second, "Hey! What's up?" The second one replies, "Nothing much, just chilling." Except they were actually ice cubes.

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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What is the difference between obama and a hobo. NOTHING

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Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

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hrih

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If you live in the 'living' room, what do you do in the others? You die.

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What's the difference between a tube of toothpaste and Youtube? If you squeeze a tube of toothpaste then toothpaste comes out. You cannot squeeze Youtube because it is a popular video sharing website. Even if you could squeeze it, no toothpaste would come out..

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what is darker than black?... YOU

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A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

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panda bears are racist to mexicans-they are black, white and asian

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A Jewish man joins the German Army. He serves with distinction during the First World War, receives several commendations for bravery, and is one of the 12 million people killed during the Holocaust.

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What's the difference between an orange? Mooses don't like to wear sweater-vests.

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What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

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Religion

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Whats worse than the Halocaust? Your mom

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A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

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Christians

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Why did Michael Jackson ask a Best Buy clerk for the best 3D TV? He didn't ... He's dead.

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why was the boy in his closet? He is hiding because his father beats him because he is gay.

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This comment is anti to jokes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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