a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

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A man walks into a bar... But, it's not funny because he's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

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3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

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Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

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Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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The pope and three young boys get into a cab. The pope tells the driver to take the boys home.

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What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

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Whats the difference between a new ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a new ferrari in my garage.

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What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

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What's the difference between a large pizza and a black man? The pizza is a delicious Italian classic dish, while the latter is a human being which man frown at the notion of consuming.

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Why was timmy crying? He gave his grandmother AIDs...

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i think i have a problem with these jokes they aren't finny

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you say "ask me if im a tree" he says "r u a tree?" you say"no..." then just stare at them

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what is pink and fluffly? pink fluff

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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What's the difference between a black man and cake? I like cake.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

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*Random individual accidentally throws a ball toward another person's head while chilling out with friends* *The ball comes into contact with the victim's cranium- causing him much pain, but not serious detriment.* Q: Are you feeling okay? A: No, I'm dizzy and am currently in very bad shape Response after initial inquiry was articulated: "Uhmmmm...Sorry?" Lesson of significance to be learned from this tragic incident: One's developed, habitual reactions to certain occasions/events of particular interest are virtually always practically impossible to completely override with the means of logic when one is experiencing the relevant occurances him/herself personally. One usually finds it inordanitely difficult to free him/herself from one's regular routines.

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Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Grandma's dead. call the paramedics.

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Once upon a time a girl took a gun and shot herself in the face

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A man walks into a bar and says: "ouch!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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