- Anti Joke

A man walks into a bar... But, it's not funny because he's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

What is black and white and red all over? A zebra that has been shot, because poaching is quite common in many African savannas.

whats black. an african american person

what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names.

Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

Welcome to Watchmojo dot com and today we'll be talking about the Top 10 numbers from 1 through 10. In this episode we will be discussing which numbers from 1 to 10 gain popularity and mainstream appeal amongst people from all over the world. Number 10. 10 (Ten) Number 9. 6 (Six) Number 8. 8 (Eight) Number 7. 4 (Four) Number 6. 5 (Five) Number 5. 3 (Three) Number 4. 2 (Two) Number 3. 9 (Nine) Number 2. 7 (Seven) Here are some honorable mentions: 3.14 9.9 1 and a half Number 1. 1 (One)

What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

Why did the chicken cross the road? there were no more cars in the way

Why do u call a book a book??? Cause it is a book!!!

Why was timmy crying? He gave his grandmother AIDs...

you say "ask me if im a tree" he says "r u a tree?" you say"no..." then just stare at them

Rich merchant started build a new bigger home for his family. He bought good blueprints and hired some construction workers to build it up. It took 2 years for the house to finish. Just few days before moving in, he had an horrible nightmare where little green men set the house on fire. When he woke up, he heard the bad news. House was burned down during the night. Merchant was shocked and sad. After couple of weeks, he decided to build a new house. This time a smaller one. Again he bought blueprints and hired people to work for him. Almost a year later, the house was starting to be finished. And again he saw that nightmare of little green men burning the house down. At morning he already knew the news and started to investigate these happenings. Local police officer couldn't help him and so didn't anyone else he asked. Merchant decided to try once more to build new home. This time he had money only for a small farmhouse. Building it up last 6 months, and almost every night merchant was guarding the construction site for little green men. Farmhouse finished in time and merchant moved in. In couple weeks he started to relax and think that little green men stopped harassing him. At one night, couple of months after moving in. Merchant saw the nightmare again, and woke up in burning house. He escaped from the window and saved his wife and children. Then he ran to the village to call for help. The next morning, merchant was sitting next to his burned home and just thinking the motives for green men, what did he do in past so that green men were angry at him? Some villagers had come to watch the burned house and merchant saw something green in middle of the crowd. He slowly walked towards the crowd and saw this little man fleeing. He started to pursue this man and was pumped with adrealine. Didn't last long when merchant catched this little guy and held him in the ground to ask "Who are you? Do you have anything to do with those housefires?" The little green man was calm and relaxed as he answered "No."

Why did the boy kill his father? Because he was molesting him.

How do you occupy a blonde for hours ? Give her a long list of stuff to do.

A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer.

What do you get if you cross a chicken and a potato? Answer- Chicken tasted potato

I Hear Boston Is having a blast.

What do you call an Italian baby born with an extra toe? He was named Vincent Antonio Linguini and has been doing well with six toes.

A man walks into a bar and says: "ouch!"

What a vase and a cheeseburger have in common? It has it's price.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops