Q: How do you get a bunch of mexicans attention? A: Say excuse me, can I have your attention please?

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Woah again Nero, you are so wise... I love you, I really do. If someone can and has already changed the world for the better, its you. No wonder people believe you have superhuman abilities, I used to think so too, but I think I understand what humans can do on another level now, you did that, thank you.

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What is black and white and red all over? A zebra that has been shot, because poaching is quite common in many African savannas.

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What's sad about a house on fire?, it was my house.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he met Larry.

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Knock, knock! “Who's there?” “The Gestapo.”

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom...

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2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

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Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

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A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

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BUT HWY?

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A horse walked into a bar, broke its leg and its owner then had to put it down because it was a racing horse and the owner did not have enough money to bring the horse back to health. Fuck you.

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Roses are Red Voilets are Red I am Red I am Dead

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What happens when you turn back time? You get "emit."

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A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a grocery store. As they walk past the meat section, the Priest stops, smiles, and turns to the Rabbi. "Feeling Hungry?" The Rabbi reaches down and picks up a pack of Koscher hotdogs.

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What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

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two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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why does breanna love pie? BECAUSE ITS JIMMYS LAST NAME!!!

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There was an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman... They all died in a horrible train wreck.

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How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Typically only one, though more may be required under extreme conditions.

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Knock knock whose there? i have a warrant, i excpect you to come out peacefully with you hands behind you back

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why was the man itchy? because he had herpies

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123457

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Richard fell off a cliff. He hit the pavement and died on contact. If only he knew he could fly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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