You are such a loner nothing even clings to you, not even plastic wrap!!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Knock, knock! “Who's there?” “The Gestapo.”

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A man walks into a bar and the the llama next store sprouted wings and flew Then a potato says hi to a iPod but unfortunatly the iPod can't talk. Meanwhile hello kitty and ducks wage a nuclear war and the rise of ostriches Started. The a giant cucumber started falling of mt. Everest and killed many Flying platipuses were saved. Then aliens started invading and the world ended.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why do Mexicans like to eat burritos? They are delicious.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was dead and therefore unable to escape the Chick fil A bag it was being carried in.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

I need somebody to lean on... ...Because one of my legs was amputated after I was blown up on a mine field in afganistan.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what's harder than dodging bullets? dodging rain

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A horse walks into a bar. The barman immediately calls the local stable to report the missing stallion, and his owner promptly arrives to take him home. He thanks the landlord and offers a small reward, but it is respectfully declined.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A blond and a brunette took an IQ test. Both of them scored above average.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are driving in a car. They're on their way to the mall, or something.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender immediately tells him to leave as they don't allow pets.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock Who's there? Sargeant John Smith mam. I regret to inform you that your husband died in the line of fire - I'm sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do stuffed animals and living animals have in common? There both living except the stuffed animal.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between a large pizza and a black man? The pizza is a delicious Italian classic dish, while the latter is a human being which man frown at the notion of consuming.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the cockroach cross the road? Why do you ask?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

person 1 - what's big, green and ugly? person 2 - don't know. what's big, green and ugly? person 1 - nothing is

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's funnier than the Holocaust? Everything, because the Holocaust was a dark time. poop in the buttcheeks

thumb_up thumb_down +4

nick toth

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops