Why did the man mysteriously disappear? Because he was hiding without telling anyone that he was hiding.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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What a vase and a cheeseburger have in common? It has it's price.

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What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

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A man sees a hitchhiker on a road. The man crashes because he was not watching the road.

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Why wasn't the 7 year old boy happy? I shot him

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I like to sniff your hair when you are asleep.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing. I lied about the deer.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Donald Trump Donald Trump who? I already told you my full name. You're fired!

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What's the difference between a duck?

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

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Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

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If a tree falls on a house and there's no one there to hear it....Why was there no woman in the kitchen?

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Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

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"The lack of a punch line is the punch line" Oh

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Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

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Did you hear about that show where two crazy guy got on stage and the show had to be canceled. I didnt either.

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What did the man say to the man? Awkward.

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A horse walked into a bar, broke its leg and its owner then had to put it down because it was a racing horse and the owner did not have enough money to bring the horse back to health. Fuck you.

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Noses are red, pilots are blue I am dyxslexic boo who

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Whats the difference between a new ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a new ferrari in my garage.

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What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

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Why does an Irish cop wear a belt? To hold up his pants.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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