Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a gun and he'll build you a refrigerator.

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What happens if Pinocchio says "My nose is about to grow." Nothing, Pinocchio was a fictional character created by Walt Disney.

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Christians

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what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names.

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What do you call a black man in a suit? A lawyer.

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Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Your mother who?" "Really?"

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What's the difference between a red cube and a green cube? Nothing, I'm color blind.

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Noses are red, pilots are blue I am dyxslexic boo who

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how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A: Knock knock B: "NOOOO" A: *Comes in, sees masturbating son*

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a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

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Richard fell off a cliff. He hit the pavement and died on contact. If only he knew he could fly.

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women sitting on a bench quietly. they have no ability to speak.

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What is the difference between obama and a hobo. NOTHING

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

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I Hear Boston Is having a blast.

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A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

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What's the difference between a tube of toothpaste and Youtube? If you squeeze a tube of toothpaste then toothpaste comes out. You cannot squeeze Youtube because it is a popular video sharing website. Even if you could squeeze it, no toothpaste would come out..

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What do you do to someone you hate very much? You kill them.

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What's the difference between your mom and a toaster? A toaster won't period in your cereal bowl.

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A fat man on a moped

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops