What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

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1134

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Two elephants are in a bath tub. The first elephant says to the other elephant, "can you pass the soap?" The second elephant then replied, "No soap, radio."

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A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

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Roses are Red Voilets are Red I am Red I am Dead

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Noses are red, pilots are blue I am dyxslexic boo who

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What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

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What do you call a man with a sack of money running from a bank? A rich man.

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Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? You said you'd never forget.

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What is white, and hurts when it falls from a tree? -tom

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Why do u call a book a book??? Cause it is a book!!!

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a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

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How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

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What's sad about four black people in a Cadillac driving off a cliff? Jerome never wanted it to end like this. James, his best friend, was drunk... Again. That was just the way he was. He got wasted, did something stupid, apologized, and then did it again. But this time, there would be no next time. They were supposed to be going to their graduation party, but instead, James fell asleep at the wheel. The cliff was rapidly approaching, and the doors were locked. All Jerome could do now was pray. Also, the Cadillac costed a lot.

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Once upon a time a girl took a gun and shot herself in the face

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What do you call an Italian baby born with an extra toe? He was named Vincent Antonio Linguini and has been doing well with six toes.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The brunette and the redhead escape, but the blonde is captured. Why? Because she had a prosthetic leg sustained from a previous injury, and thus couldn't run very fast.

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knock knock whos there? your mother your mother who? ...........what?

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Kony 2012

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I like to sniff your hair when you are asleep.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They brutally whipped and tortured her.

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A guy with no legs walks into a bar.

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what is the difference of left and right? i used my right hand to stab your mother.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I got a terminal disease and I'm going to die in six months. Mom if you're reading this I love you. Take good care of Joey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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