Your mama's so fat, she gets confused with Santa Claus.

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you say "ask me if im a tree" he says "r u a tree?" you say"no..." then just stare at them

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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What's yellow and dangerous? China.

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What do you get if you cross a chicken and a potato? Answer- Chicken tasted potato

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How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

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Why did the pollock jump into the sea? A pollock is a fish.

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The big problem with politicians is they're always lying but fortunately there's always a moment when it's not a problem anymore. When they do it down in their tombs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

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Why did the kitten die? Because your mom is gay.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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I Hear Boston Is having a blast.

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what is darker than black?... YOU

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

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Why did the man mysteriously disappear? Because he was hiding without telling anyone that he was hiding.

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when god gives you lemons, you find a new god!

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What's brown and says "Hey, I'm a dog"? A talking dog, able to grasp the English language.

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what is the difference of left and right? i used my right hand to stab your mother.

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Why did the chicken walk into Mordor? It didn't. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

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Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

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3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

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I can see you under there. Under what?

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Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "MOOOOO!". The other makes an unremarkably similar noise.

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Knock, knock! “Who's there?” “The Gestapo.”

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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