What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

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What do you call a brunette between two blondes? Susan.

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how do you make a joke act like yourself

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What do you call a man with a sack of money running from a bank? A rich man.

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how do you get a cow in the fridge? Open the fridge, and insert. How do you get a kangaroo in the fridge? Take the cow out and insert What animal is not in the lion king? kangaroo --WHY hes still in the fridge

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

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Why do u call a book a book??? Cause it is a book!!!

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why did the mexican cross the road to get to the other country

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Why did the chicken cross the road? know on knows as he can't talk

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I went to the store and I fell

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William came home from school and was very tired. He went to the kitchen and got a chocolate bar. Then he died.

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What's the difference between a black man and cake? I like cake.

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A man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" he shouted after he stubbed his toe on a table.

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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whats the difference between a chicken and a grape? there both green exept for the chicken

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What color is a banana? yellow.

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What do you call a three legged man? Horribly deformed

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Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Grandma's dead. call the paramedics.

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That's as gay as AIDS.

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Whats green and tasty? Snot

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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Playing chess with a pigeon is like having an argument with a christian. No matter how good you are at chess, the pigeon will just knock over the pieces, crap on the board and strut around like it's victorious.

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Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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