how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

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Why can't Ray Charles read? Because he's dead

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Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams,heat does.

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Why didn't the hungry woman get up and make herself some food? She has Lou Gehrig disease and any movement she makes results in excruciating pain.

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A person walks into a store. He goes to a worker an asks "were is the potatos?" . The worker says, there on that shelf.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Provolone

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What do you call a man who just came home from a 72-hour work shift ? You don't call him, you let him sleep.

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you

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Why can't the t-Rex clap..... Because it is dead

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what do you do when you see a priest in a bar? tell him that is un richeous and he shall pay for his sins right before you kill him

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shabalabadingdong JLR

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Why did Fred fall off the bike? He was a shoe.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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69- by Adam Chebali

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How do you piss off a moose? You throw popcorn at it

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What is brown red and white? I don't know, that's why I asked you

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What's funnier than diarrhoea? Cancer What's funnier than cancer? The holocaust

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 murdered 4 and 5 then raped 10

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Roses are Brown Violets are Brown Whos been shitting on my garden??

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Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says "Holy cow it's hot in here!" The other one says "Wow, I'm a muffin and I can TALK!"

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What do you have when you take the gun, badge and uniform away from a cop? A man in his underwear.

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F? No k

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I like my women like I like my coffee Without a penis

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What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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