A: Knock Knock! B: Come in!

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

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What's the best part of having sex with a twelve year old? Watching them cry when they prosecute against you.

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Q: Why didn't Jane cross the road? A: Because Jane is a figment of my imagination and therefore has neither the physical capability to cross this so called "road" nor the initiatory motivation to do so...

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a man goes for blood check up ..........his whole hand was frozen >>>>the doctor cuts his finger'''''' he comes outside crying n sits in a chair n cries.............]]]]]] the person near him asks him why is he cryin...he says i came 4 my blood test the doctor cut my finger.the person next to him cried aloud......the person asked y r u cryin>>>>>>>>>>i came her 4 my urine test ..........????????lol

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Question: What did Mr. Reeves say. Answer: Nothing

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what did the african boy get for christmas? what does his ethnicity or his place of origin have anything to do with what he gets for christmas

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yesterday i saw a man walking down the street with no legs. just kidding.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

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There's an Irishman, a homosexual, and a Jew standing at a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community.

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A girl hands her boyfriend her phone and says it's his dad. He throws it on the ground exclaiming, "My dad's not a phone, duh!"

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one. Any more than that and they would just be getting in each others way.

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A white man applies for a job two weeks later he finds out he lost the job to a hardworking Mexican who went to college and payed his debts

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i can't stand cripple jokes

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What would people call Michael Jackson if he became president? Probably President Jackson

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A blonde, brunette, and a red head were walking on the side of the road and a fridge landed on them and they died. At least they still could go to their funerals.

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Geography Teacher: Bill, British Columbia agreed to join confederation when the government of Canada agreed to do what? Bill: To build a bridge to where my father is who is divorced with my mom.*tear* Geography Teacher: Is that really nesscary Bill? You have a detention.

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what did the blind, deaf, retarded child, without any arms or legs get for Christmas? nothing, his parents are dead

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One Big Ass Mistake America

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Guide on how to make the color yellow for yourself! First, you grab green, and then you remove all the blue... AND YELLOW COLOR GET! While you are reading this I am fingering your sister... WHAAAAT? She is only a baby you say? Well... Moral: Ugh... The ending was so wrong in so many ways... I should totally rewrite this and call it EXTENDED DIRECTORS EDITION... I cant bother... Oren The laroM naM! OR !naM laroM ehT oreN So anyway, Christiaaaans, its ask and you shall receive right? Virgin Mary is not virgin anymore because I asked if you know what I mean... ;) NOW FIRE THE STORM OF RED THUMBS MWAHAHAHAHAHA I AM THE HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALPYSE! I AM THE RED DRAGON.... OR EVEN WORSE... I AM THE DARK LORD SANTA!!!!!! Nevermind, ugh... Santa is just too disgusting, sorry, I meant Satan, phew, thats a relief on my concience... I should probably take my finger out of your sister... ...And insert the GREAT BIGGUS DICKUS! Your sister only two years? Ugh... Well, SHE WILL GROW INTO IT... Ugh, I dont wanna post this, but I bet Ryu sometimes dont want to go HADOUUUUKEEEEEEN Just so a slow projectile takes of like 2 percent of his enemies life... SO... One TWO TH... Oh wait, I must solvemedia first. Ice to meet you? Thats pathetic.

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A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

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Penis!

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You know whats retarted? people with down syndrome.

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what happened to the batsman with bad footwork? he got out what did the batsman do when he got out? he left the ground due to the nature of the ruling

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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