Why did the heroin addict get staff infection? His skin broke open multiple times without proper cleansing.

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you: have you seen the movie constapated them:no you:its because it hasen't come out yet

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Q: Why could John say goodbye to his girlfriend ? A: He didnt have one

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What do you get when you cross a duck with a cat? You can't. The current state of genetic engineering will not allow avian DNA and mammalian DNA to be combined.

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what does a man with no leg say to a woman with one eye? hello. by Mad James

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "A door to door salesman. Are you unsatisfied with the way your dish soap handles your plates? Then I have the product for you!" "I'm not interested in your product, but thank you anyway." "No problem. On an off note, how did you hear me? I didn't speak very loudly when I said knock knock, and I didn't even bother to knock on the door or ring the doorbell." "I have really good hearing." "Oh, okay. And for future reference, maybe you should open the door when talking to a visitor. Then body language gets established and the conversation flows more nicely that way." "That's some good advice, and I'll take it. Thanks, salesman." "You're welcome. On to the next house."

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Laura Pratz... not having a strong urge to tweet everything that happens in her life.

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Why can't so many guys get it up? Because erectile dysfunction affects 30 million men nationwide.

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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Q: What happened when Bob the Super-mega-ultra man, in his hurry to return an item that was objectively proven to be hazardous to physically normal people, banged his head very hard against a wall of a random building that was located on his route of travel? A: He recieved a concussion and had to coalesce in bed for a long time in order to return back to his regular style of living. Bob was merely a nominal 'Super-mega-ultra' man. He gets hurt practically as easily as anyone else.

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A priest, a Rabi, and a Monk walk out of the bar and go home.

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I just pooped in my boyfriends mouth. He ate it. Ps. I am a boy

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Why couldn't the Chinese women see... It's because she just got into a terrible car accident and suffered a rental detachment in both eyes. Follow up question, why was the Chinese women even allowed to drive?

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Why was there a black guy in the back of a police car? He was caught stealing

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How do you kill batman? you stab him through the heart

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what do you tell a woman with one black eye? "sorry about that wild ball, you played a fantastic softball game otherwise"

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 had a lot of PCP went crazy and shoved a gun down 6's throat

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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Your momma is so stupid your momma forgot that jesus did exist and has been proven by historians to have existed

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What do you call a black man yelling into a crowd? a preacher

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Whats The difference between a soccer mom and a pit bull? One's a dog ones a human. 363\

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q. a whale walks into a bar. The bartender asks"why are you wailling?" A. I my 3 year-old son died.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally Why can't Sally finish her ice cream She has no arms How do you fit Sally into a box? Put her in a blender. How do you get her out? A straw.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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