Roses Are Red , Violets Are Blue , Go Die .

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What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

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the

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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whats funnier than hugos penis? Nothing!!!!

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Why was the young black boy kicked out of his classroom? Because the manner of his actions were inexcusable.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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What do you call a horse that likes to box? A horse

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What did the small baby faucet say to the daddy faucet? Nothing, they are inanimate objects and cannot talk.

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What is better than life? Nothing.

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Why did the woman scream when she saw her brother? Cause he was dead.

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I ran in to Hitler. "Hey, Hitler, what's up?" I asked. "Well, this time I am going to kill 6 million Jews and 2 clowns." "Two clowns?" I ask. "Why two clowns?" "See!" He exclaimed. "No one cares about the Jews!"

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what's yellow, dirty, and looks like a potato? a potato

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How do you get an alien baby to sleep? Well, first you need to get an alien baby.

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What do you call a comedian who can;t make people laugh? A bad comedian.

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What did tyler say to Jake? My pussy is wet jew

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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Why did the girl fall off her bike? I threw a ball at her.

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Yo momma so ugly that she is unpleasant to look at

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"Ask me if I'm a tree!" "Are you a tree?" "No."

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why did the man take a poo because his rectum exploded

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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A black man comes home from work.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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