what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

What did the athiest get for christmas? Well he shouldn't get anything becuase he doesn't belive in jesus.

Who is the dumbest person on the entire internet? Shortpoet-GTD

What's worse than watching 5 homeless men have an orgy? Waking up and having to clean the sheets

Whats worse than getting an eye gouged out? Getting both eyes gouged out?

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for his birthday? A bike

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

Doctor, doctor, I think I've got a problem! Correct, you have got acute cancer, you have 2 months to live.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing... she's ugly

Q: What is soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

Simon says.. Nothing because he is deaf, so therefor he would have to sign it to you.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms Why did Susie drop her ice cream cone? She got hit by a bus Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere Knock Knock "Whos There?" Not Susie

Have you heard the one about the three tailed salamander that fell off a bridge? I haven't either.

Your Mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

A black man, a Pakistani and Jew sit at a bar. It's great to see such a cosmopolitan community.

sally stole a t.v what happend next? she was arested

what happened to the mexican who dropped his ice cream at work? He got a raise, won the $5 billion jackpot, was given ten car dealerships, then died.

Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

What does a black man love more than anything? His family you racist c u n t.

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a terrorist.

Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

What happened to the blind man who went skydiving? Nothing but the dog was unlucky.The dog kept squirming and he thought he hadnt gone down the cliff yet and said "ok fine dont come with me!".The dog didnt survive. :'(

What do you call something you should prepare yourself for when having sex with a prostitute? A.I.D.S

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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