Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What was the blind man doing before he was strangled? He was breathing.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why couldn't Prince William go to the party? Because his WIFE bought tickets to the f**cking ballet.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's up brah brah

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did John suck at sports? He was mentally retarded and had no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

tommy is retared

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A muslim checks in at an airport and gets on a plane. He reads a book about knitting, gets off the plane at France and goes back to his job as a librarian.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

Q: Why is there a crack in the liberty bell? A:Because someone droped it and it broke

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Your mother is overweight. This is largely due to her sedentary lifestyle.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Boy: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're accent sure sounds like it.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? because he had legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Alice, seriously do as I say, I lived with the man for over 16 years, those are not hallucinations, its PTSD, without ritalin he will just go trough that agony for nothing, not coffee not chocolate or any of that, anything that helps his focus. Seriously do not be a bitch Alice, listen to him and do as he says. Its not the first time people think he is having hallucinations when his eyes start moving back and forth like crazy, he is not seeing things, he is experiencing this as if they where real, and just because he can stay in that state for days, does not mean he is meant to go trough that kind of agony because of your ethics or caring or whatever your hesitation might be, the man can go without food for weeks if he has to, but not after you sneak trash like Zopiclone into his system. That was a mistake of yours, make up for it Alice, or ill make you pay.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

"Look me in the eye" said Cyclops.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How many gun shots does it take to kill you? 1..2... 3...4... Samantha reapeatedly kept shooting her enemy until she noticed that her enemy was Chuck Norris. So how many gunshots does it take to kill Chuck Norris? The world may never know.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Guy 1: Yo dawg Guy 2: DID yOU JUST FUCKING CALL ME A DOG>/?>/???? Guy 3: Yea

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is sticky and smelly - a stick

thumb_up thumb_down -16

HTML

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did Kelliintheraw get punched in the face? Because she is a dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +16

This is the worst anti-joke on the entire site. Just look at all the thumbs down!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock, knock. Who's there? I. I who? I broke my dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops