don't read this

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There are ten million million million million million million million million million million million sub-atomic particles in the universe that we can observe. Your mamma took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd...

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Q: how do you spell apple without any letters? A: you can't.

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An Irishman walks out of a bar.

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Why didn't the black man make it into heaven? No one did, there is no evidence supporting the existence of an afterlife.

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How do you kill batman? you stab him through the heart

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What did the cannibal say after he ate the clown? I am not sure as the tragic situation occurred while the clown was hiking alone.

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Your mommas so fat she jumped into the ocean and immediately had to start swimming.

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What is older than history?

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Yo mama so fat and ugly, I don't want to tell you how fat and ugly she is for fear of vomiting.

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What's black and full of coke? a bottle of coca-cola

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Why did Justin Bieber wake up Lady Gaga? He needed to ask her a question.

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Where did Sally go when she exploded? Everywhere!

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A white man walks into a bar. He orders an alcoholic beverage, and thinks to himself, " that made me feel a lot better. He drives home in his Cadillac and takes a nice sleep until 7am, when he is supposed to work. He is an architect.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What do you get when you cross a Kangaroo with a sheep? A: That would be impossible for it is impossible to breed a kangaroo and a sheep due to their difference in genetic material and number of chromosomes

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Friend: "yo momma is so fat........ Me: My mom is dead

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What do you call a panda without a head? Dead.

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A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar. It's an average bar. However these men don't drink. The priest ordered some onion rings, the minister fries and the rabbi poutine. They're good friends despite their different religious views.

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A robot walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "can I get you a drink?" The robot replies, "No, I'm a robot."

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I'm on a see food diet- it consists of fish and molluscs. sea*

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Whats the difference between ice cream and dead babies? I'm not eating ice cream right now.

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I was walking down the street the other day And I pushed a child under a bus

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How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator? Open the door and let him in. How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator? Open the door and let the elephant out then give the giraffe a reasonable amount of time to enter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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