What's worse than being forced to drink your own urine and eat a disabled kids poop? James Holmes (Ironic that the text I had to type in to post this was "I'M BATMAN".)

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What's a cow's fovorite vacation spot? Farmyard animals do not receive vacations, they have long hours, no pay, and get eaten upon death.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because SEVEN-FIVE!!!

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A man walks up to his boss and asks "Do you want to hear a funny joke?". His boss replied,"Yes". Before the man could finish his joke, his boss had a heart attack and died instantly. The next day, when he's in his car with his wife, he asks "You want to hear a joke?", the wife replied "Sure,". before the man could finish his joke, a car hit them and the wife died but the man happened to survive. The next day, he sat on a bench mourning, his friend walked up to him and asked, "Why are you sad?". the man answered, "Every time I try and tell a joke someone dies!", his friend said, "That's not true, just tell me the joke." "Ok" "Two Pigeons walk into a-". Before he can finish his joke his friends is kidnapped and killed. Sadly, the man walks to a ledge, jumps off and commits suicide. The End

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Steven Yuhasz is so homosexual, he has sexual intercourse with other men and enjoys it. <33

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How many rednecks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench. The bucket.

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What do you call it when a black man and a Mexican open up a fast-food restaurant together? A joint venture.

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Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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If shoes could talk they'd tell you that they are not willing support your weight & floors are extremely dirty.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You're not that bad...you're still better at giving hand jobs than your dad is."

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what do you call a top thats spining? A spinning top

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What would Martin Luther King Jr. do if he was alive today? Scream at the top of his lungs as he tried to punch out the top of his coffin.

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A blond Canadian and his Korean friend are going together to Korea. When checking in the person asks the Canadian if he has a return ticket leaving the country. He replies yes but he does not have it on him. According to Korean Customs and Immigration laws a non-Korean citizen must have a return ticket to enter the country. Inevitably follows a long and tedious process in order to procure the ticket in order to pass customs. The Korean and the Canadian continue to their boarding gate.

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What did the shark say to the boat captain? So do you prefer cards or pool?

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Q:When a T- Rex walks into your house what does it mean? A: Your on pot, T-rex's are extinct

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why did the fat lady hop on one foot,because she lost the other foot to diabetes. ?

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what did the dog eat for dinner? food.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he saw a Vladimir Putin.

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jerry Jerry Who? Jerry Sandusky, I've come to rape your kids.

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They say that laughter is the key to a long life. What's the key to a short life? Death.

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my brother yells at me for singing in the shower so i scream "how can you hate from outside the tub when you cant even get in?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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