An orange walks into a bar....orange you glad I didn't say banana?!?!

What do you call a black man speeding away in a Ferrari. A wealthy man who is late for work.

A little boy uses a horrible curse against his classmate. The classmate is so angry he tells the teacher. The teacher is so astounded at the little boy's use of language he sends him to the principal. When the principal hears of the foul language he's so ashamed he calls the police. The police can't believe the little boy said such a bad word, they think he deserves to go to court. The court dates are set up. When the Judge hears of the hate words he can think of no other worthy punishment except prison until he turns 21. After the kid is let out he heads for the bar across town where all the ex-prisoners go. He orders up a drink, bartender asks "What'd you do?". The kid explains the curse to the bartender. The barkeep becomes so upset that he kicks the kid out of the bar. While crossing the street to go to another bar he gets hit by a truck. Whats the moral of the story? Look both ways before crossing the street....

What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

why couldn't the blonde change the light bulb? because he chose the wrong sized screwdriver from his tool box

i'm funny

Why do you put a baby in the blender but first? To see the facial expressions

How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

What has two leg, but cant walk? A paraplegic.

What's the difference between a duck?

All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

What do you call a kid with headgear and one leg? Names.

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What did Hitler say to the Nazis? I have a mustache.

Why did the homeless man not get any ice cream from the store? Because he was not very bright and didn't try in school. Therefore he couldn't find a job or get his job back at the janitor at Go-Mart. This proves that not doing your school work correct can really effect your future. Plus they was sold out of chocolate.

Roses are red Violets are blue I need some money.

What noise annoys a noisy oyster? Hispanics with their loud car stereos.

What do you get when you cross a confused man and an anti-social woman? I don't know, go away.

A guy walks into a bar. He was an alcoholic and it was destroying his family.

A man walks in a bar he talks to the bartender aand he tells him a joke about him and hs friends. how do you find out his name? You killl the bartenders friends and family untill he talks.

A Black, a Jew and a Hispanic walk into a bar and the bartender says, "What is this some kind of a joke?"

Barman says to a horse at the bar ' Are you sad or upset?' Horse says 'No' Barman says 'Well why the long face?' Horse says 'Because I'm a horse'

a guy gets knocked out and wakes up in a alley all bloody and a knife next to him!!!

What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The police officers involved were fired and sued by the family, ruining their lives. Months later they both committed suicide.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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