What did the door say to the hand? Please stop caressing me!

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whats green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

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RIDE A PONY, RIDE A PONY

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c+t+c?

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Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! That's a rather strange psychological problem I think you should consult a professional psychologist rather than see me.

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What did the award-winning physicist say to the community college graduate? I'll have Chicken McNuggets please.

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A blonde walks into a store and asks for the microwave behind the counter. The man behind the register promptly hands her the microwave and charges her $435 for it, which is utterly ridiculous.

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Why wouldn't Rose let go of Jack? Freddie told her that he was just a poor boy and nobody loves him.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because ti was stapled to the chicken.

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What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

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Why did the nerd cross the road?? BAZINGA!!!! xD

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Stevan Hawkings walked into a bar. Ohh shit :/

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There was a small boy with a lollipop and a spinning hat. He died of lieukemia.

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A guy and a girl look at a dog licking his crotch and the guy utters "damn I wish I could do that" The girl says: I can totally do that! "really? prove it" the guy says. The girl walks towards the dog and says "you just need to pet him so he don't bite you"

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What did one viking say to the other viking? I don't know, it was in Danish

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Ask me if I'm a toaster Are you a toaster? No, I'm a tree.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q: Whats the difference between porno and your mom? A: I can masturbate to porno

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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Women's rights.

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A brunette, a blond and a red-head decide to go swimming in a lake. To prepare, they go shopping together to get some new bikinis. When they get to the shop they are pleased to find that the bikinis are on sale and they get them 50% off. They drive with their new swimwear to the lake and get changed in the changing room. When they get out they notice that it is quite cold. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice that the lake is dirty. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice the lake is actually a spill of oil. They decide to go swimming anyway. They remember that none of them can swim. They decide to go swimming anyway. They jump in. They drown.

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An asian is doing math hw then his dad drives through the door

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Hey man how was your trip? great!!! It blew my mind

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ada! Ada who? Ada burger for lunch!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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