when i go to a nude beach people think im looking for lost jewelery and treasure

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

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What did the librarian say to the three black men in the library? Nothing. Those three men were Harvard graduates and were very respective of libraries, and thier policies.

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Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

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Freddie Mercurys teeth

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A duck, a rabbi, a homosexual, and the president walk into a bar. As a result, bruises appeared on their foreheads.

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a red sports car? A red sports car was never a living organism.

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why did the little old lady die? she was mugged then shot in the head 5 times.

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The Lord said to John: "Go forth and receive eternal life" But John went fifth... So he won a toaster

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what do you call someone who hates jews anti semitic

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Q:What happens when you choke a smurf? A: Nothing because smurfs dont exist

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What did the anorexic order for dinner? Nothing

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What's fourteen inches long and purple and can make a woman scream all night? crib death

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What did the president do for the people? ...

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What's worse than finding a worm in ur Apple? Finding a worm in ur poop

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if your in a wheelchair have no hair because of cancer and are being fed through a tube you should wait a couple of years before ending it. and wrinkles into the equation....... BANG

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a chinese man pays the full price

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What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

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Hey guys wanna here a joke? Never mind it was a gay joke but f**k it.

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cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens have no sense of direction, he might have thought he was in wal-mart for all I care.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad your whole family isn't dead from a fatal car accident?

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how much is a microwave full of dead babies? a fridge full of dead puppies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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