why did the dog jump into the pool? because the cat was chasing him

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what did the homeless person get for Cristmas? nothing.

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Your mom goes to college

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A man walk into a bar. He then falls down, quickly picks himself up, and continues his life.

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Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

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A white man, a black man, and a woman are drinking in the local pub. The black man and the woman are hanged. Medieval European pubs did not permit either.

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what did the white guy say to the black guy at the homeless shelter? Hi.

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What's black, white, and red all over A penguin in a blender

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Why was the black guy charged for murder? He killed his wife.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Refrigerators are whitWhen falling from trees, they kill you

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your mama is so fat that she weighs 261 pounds.

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Doctor, Doctor, I can't feel my legs? We're going to have to amputate it to prevent infection, you won't be able to walk again.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob What do you call that same kid when he's at your doorstep? Matt What do you call that same kid when he's hanging in your room? I don't know, but you should stop calling him names.

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What did a man say to the woman with two black eyes? Learn to duck.

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Why couldn't John play soccer? Because he was arrested for being black.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Your hat is not on you head. Where is it On you head

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Knock Knock Who's There? Just open the damn door I forgot my key and I really need to pee

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Why did the vegetarian eat a steak? Because he was not a vegetarian

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Two hunters walk in to the forest. They have a great time ending the lives of defenceless creatures. They go to their respective homes, eat a light dinner, and fall asleep in their beds.

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Two penguins sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap." The other says, "What do you think I am, a clock!?!?"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Keep talking shit bitch, and I'll come for you!

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have ADD ...

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What is the difference between a motorcycle and a football? 42, because ice cream has no bones.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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