A woman walked into a club. Or at least, that's what her abusive boyfriend told the police.

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Lol, listen, the suggestion lies in the "not not", you are using not twice in your mind, which under trance makes it so your subconcious registers that you are using a double negative while you consciously do not. Look back at the messages and register consciously that you and I have been using "not not" twice during the past messages, when the net shuts down here, you reinforce the "I will totally notnot, tell him" so the suggestion just gets stronger.

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What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

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What do you call a black person who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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Q: why didn't johnny do his homework? A:because johnny is dead

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Q: Why couldn't Sally ride her bike? A: because Sally has Cerebral Palsy.

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There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those who understand binaryy and those who dont.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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What did the hobo get for christmas? Nothing.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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How do you kill a fox in Canada? Cut it's leg off and let it run!

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What did the vegetarian eat for christmas? Food.

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How do Elmer Fudd take a shower? Without a shampoo, he's bald..

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Q: What do you call a car full of black people? A: Stolen

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Roses are red Violets are blue My head itches I'm going to get this guy to itch it for me

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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How many babies could a cannibal eat? 132/267 of a baby

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What's worse than getting rejected by your date? Finding out she gave you a social disease. Namely AIDS.

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If I were a cat, would you help with the toast?

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Red sky in the morning, Shepard's warning. Red sky at night, Shepard's Fulcrum.

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There are two cows in a field. One cow says to the other - 'Are you afraid of the mad cow disease?' The other cow says - 'No, cuz I'm a duck.'

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what did the jew get for christmas? nothing Jewish people don't celebrate christmas

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what is the best part about sleeping with twenty six year olds? they are usually very experienced in sexual intercourse so there isn't much awkwardness

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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