Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road? To get to the other side.

Why did Dumbledore fall off the astronomy tower? Because Snape killed him.

What is black and white and red all over the news paper of someone with tuberculosis

The kid wakes up in the middle of the night to get some water. But over hears sounds from his parents room. he looks through the keyhole. Then he comtinues walking and says. "Why does mom say i cant suck things?"

So, there's a lion loose in Colchester. Should've gone to Specsavers... [L]

What did the DVD player say when a video tape was put in? You incompatible.

I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

Why didn't Avery die when he got hit by a bus? The bus was going three miles per hour.

There are three types of people in this world: The stupid. And the ones that can't count.

Q. what has 2 legs and can't walk A. a paraplegic

Who's gay and has buttsex? Dan.

What do you call a man with an arrow to the knee? An ambulance because he's got a serious leg injury right there.

How did the man jumping out of the plane at 33,000 feet survive? Because he had a parachute

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

Why was the panda sad? It's family died when China had an earthquake.

What do you call a Black Man in the ocean? A scuba diver

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side

Why did the chicken cross the road? I dont really care anymore BECAUSE I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS CLICHE!

A group of black people are arrested for murder, what do you need? A better prison.

Roses are red violets are blue, I have no pickup line, just Get your tits out

Knock knock! Who's there? This. This who? This joke.

BenWuzHear

I was bitter, nonetheleast because you and I became friends, while someone working for you (at that time it might just as well had been you) was conducting a lot of illegal activities. I kept thinking, why does the guy call himself "the wizard", its the most used name... Why? Because it is the most used name, good luck finding "THE WIZARD" among internet nerds, but then again, if you search for the most famous one, you find "THE MAN", Not only did you tell me at first that you where Nero. Which I can prove you are not, but you know, one side of me was your friend, the other knew I would have to get rid of you no matter the cost, if you kept your activities. SImply put: When I enjoyed our time together, I pushed you away with stupid humor, small insults and etc, mostly in order to protect myself from getting to close with a potential threat for well, security, lets keep it at that.

What did the banana say to the tree? Nothing, bananas can't talk

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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