When life gets you down, make a comforter.

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An abortionist secretly fancies himself pro life, with reservations. Overwhelmed, and utterly fed up, with the burden of carrying on the family business, he aborts himself. Although he was only 46, his frail mother was nevertheless proud of his decision to succeed where she had failed 46 years ealier.

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If u swipe fast u will see fish swimming -////--/// //-///--// --//--/// ---/////- -/////--/ ////---// ---///--- ---////-- --////--- //--///-// -//----/// -/-///-/// -/-/-/-/-/ -////-///// -/-/-/-/// -///------ ---------- --///-///-/ -////-//--- -/-/--/--- -/-/-////// ---------- --------- I will call ur doctor to tell him u are retarded

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What's worse than molding bread? Babies in the toaster.

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Your mom's so fat that she is going to contract heart disease by age 30.

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Child: Hey mom can i go to the store with you? Mom: no son, i'm not really going to the store. I'm cheating on your father.

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why is the asian still in the driveway? her car broke down

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What do you call a black man chasing after a macdonalds van? The fastest thing in the dessert.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

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Why do dead babies go to funerals? They don't.

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Ha ha. You've wasted your life, sucker!

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A horse dies and goes to heaven. He wonders why there aren't any atheists around.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables.

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What do you say to a blind buss driver? You suck

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If you think this is gonna rhyme, You're dead wrong.

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A black man and a white man walk into a job interview. Neither of them get the job due to lack of skill in the field.

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Why did Adolf Hitler Start WWII and kill millions of Jews? Because he was a poweful dictator

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poop nuff said

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How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

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Why didn't the puppy play with his toys? They were poisonous.

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When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

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A horse walks into a bar. The owner promptly calls a local farmer to let him know that his horse has escaped again.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. grass was greener on the other side!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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