Why did the pilot crash the plane? Because he was a loaf of bread

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What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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Woman's Rights

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Q. What do you call a Widow's Husband? A. Dead...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the axe murderer. Did it work? No.

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What's the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Boy scouts come back from camp.

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What did the bacon say to Sam's eggs? Why are you green?

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A man opens his refrigerator and takes out a can of soda. He returns back to his living area and continues watching television.

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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whats the hardest part of roller skating. Telling your dad that you are gay.

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How did the black man get a nice car? He spent 8 years of his life getting a doctorate so he could be hired at a job that will pay for his desired vehicle.

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What's green and red? A frog in a blender

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Q: What happened when Bob the Super-mega-ultra man, in his hurry to return an item that was objectively proven to be hazardous to physically normal people, banged his head very hard against a wall of a random building that was located on his route of travel? A: He recieved a concussion and had to coalesce in bed for a long time in order to return back to his regular style of living. Bob was merely a nominal 'Super-mega-ultra' man. He gets hurt practically as easily as anyone else.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A Pilot

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Your mother is so fat that when she sits around the house, she feels bad about herself but is too embarrassed to get a gym membership and work-out in public.

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WNBA

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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"Have you ever seen a blacksmith?" "No." "Me neither."

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What did the black man do in the Italian Pub? He gave a 20% tip and couldn't have been more courteous.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't.

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What did Shakespeare say to the software designer? Nothing.

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whats super and the champions of europe? Leeds United

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what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped covered in semen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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