9

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Go home and hang yourself.

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What did Grandma give little Ben for Christmas? Nothing.She died on Thanksgiving day.

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A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is Patrick.

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Why is Scientology the Fastest Growing Religion of 21st Century? It isn't, its a cult.

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:3

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

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Boobs are nasty!

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? So he can eat it.

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Bob: Hey Jim, if you were a caveman, you would die. Jim: Why? Bob: Cause everybody dies.

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What did Batman Tell Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

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Why did the chick cross the road? To get to the brothel for hot lesbian love.

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What do you call a group of black people in a lamboghini..... Unlikely

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Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing.

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Why did the man cross the road? He was obviously trying to get to his work, however he realized he was jaywalking in front of a cop and had to pay a fine and ended up being late to work.

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A man walks into a bar, he is an alcoholic and is ruining his family.

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So a blonde a, a red head, and a brunette crash land on an island, they all died within a week...

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A apple is red a banana is to never mind that joke sucks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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