What doesn't kill you makes you stronger Stand a little taller Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone What doesn't kill you is a bad attempt on your life.

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

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Why did Ben Franklin Invent Bifocals? He's a jive turkey.

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What did the boy tell the girl at recess? An anti-joke

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Why did the black guy get arrested? Homicide.

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What did the fish say to the human ? He didn't say anything fish can't speak.

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Theory: Jesus: Father why must I go die in order to defeat sin, is sin not a product of humans? God: SHHH! You want humans to know they are stronger than us? Real life: Later on the cross Jesus: FATHER WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! God: *Thunder* Moral: Makes sense... Kinda? Maybe? A bit? I honestly do not get it :(

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what did the joke say to the anti-joke? do you want to fight

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What do you get six year old Hitler for his birthday? An Easy Bake Oven

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How do you get a fat man to drop a brownie? Make fun of him until he kills himself, and then drops the brownie.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I told you she was my Mom, but that didn't stop you!

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Gotta disappoint you there, you see there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of similar organizations which work for the government, and those I work for are black ops, meaning that I would be putting my life in danger if I told you anything about it besides that fact. Its not listed anywhere, its not FBI, its not legislated by any government yet many governments invest their funds there, you could call it something like the interpool, and something like the underground society, except its multi-government driven... A term I sincerely do not fully understand myself, I have certain talents I put to use, but I lack the education in order to be more than a employee for these people.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had previously driven over innocent civilians who were all constipated and had now caused a mild to extremely large shitstorm.

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A blind man walks in a bar I mean like a metal bar But it didn't hurt He only laught

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Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

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why did the black man shoot himself? because he commited a crime and was sorry for what he had done

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What is the cow doing? Because 7,8,9

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A man walks into his house only to find someone in the livingroom touching the stereo. He then goes up to his wife, and kisses her.

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Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

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Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

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Q: What did the lesbian say to her partner? A: We cannot get married in forty five states.

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What is worse than burning your toast? - Obama

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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