A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why does Courtney smell? she has a severe lack of personal hygiene which needs addressing,

thumb_up thumb_down -4

penispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenis

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

you know why people who read anti-jokes are stupid? i just had the greatest sex ever!!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

You know what's funny about table salt? Not much.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's brown and wears glasses? A poo with bad eyesight.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

I'll have a chocolate milkshake, hold the onions.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A priest, a monk, and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order drinks and keep the conversation to non-controversial topics.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Your mom is so fat that her BMI is in the morbidly obese column.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a well respected member of the community.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the mexican fireman call his twin sons? nothing. they were stillborn

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Robin get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -87

That's not what she said.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Fine, you got me there, I have already made sure that you get your compensation, it is the least thing I can do you let me know if anyone claiming to be part of my order bothers you again, I promise I will personally enforce strict guidelines in order to ensure that such a thing never happens again. I hope you will trust me, I will no longer call it the Order of Nero, but as you know we cannot reveal the true name of our order. I also agree to meet you in person so we can further discuss this impeding situation which I will give top priority. Truth is Nero, that I used to be one of your co workers in the underground, and my attempts at saving what is left might not be as ideal as the goals we are set to achieve are, we simply cannot expect that people excel at greatness at the first go. Of course this grave incident is not even near a "mere lack of greatness" but rather a group of people that yes, sadly have rightfully claimed to be members of our society, yet I need you to come to terms that this was a huge oversight in my vision for a new and "improved" underground society, and not a intentional attack at you and your personal security. I submit to your demands, and I ask that you partake in a small number of meetings where we can all discuss and further develop the necessary guidelines required to further solidify our foundation.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between shoes and a ginger? Shoes do the kicking.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the vegetarian eat for christmas? Food.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Try this on some random person on the street... You: "Excuse me sir, do you know how to get to Farnsworth Street?" Man: "Sorry, no" You: "OK, you go straight ahead, then turn left on the second street. Continue about 200 feet, then......"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

a rabbi,a priest and minister didn't walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What happens when two planes both crush a tower in New York City? A: Bad news.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

So, there's a lion loose in Colchester. Should've gone to Specsavers... [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +40

When black people wore their pants low, white people called it "Saggin" little did they know that "saggin" spelled backwards is "white supremacy" those sneaky white people

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops