why did the chicken cross the road? I dont know, you ask it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

It’s dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you get if you mix razor blades with babies? An erection.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

You smell bad? Cool.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a Chinese man flying plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

:O <===============3 :===========3 :======3 :===3 :3 It all makes sense now.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q) What do you get when you cross a brown chicken with a brown cow? A) An abomination

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why couldn't little Johnny play sports like the rest of the kids? He was diagnosed with polio at the age of 3 and has limited use of his legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock knock! Who's there? Fed-Ex. We have a package for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What used to be red, but isn't anymore? A scalped ginger.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many jews can you fit in a buick? 6...only if you squeeze 4 in the back.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

How do you turn a broken skateboard into a gleaming Rolls Royce? With magic.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

a guy walks into the bedroom with a duck in his arms, his wife is in bed half nakid. he then coments out loud this is the pig im f**king. his wife says huny your holding a duck. then he with a serious look on his face says im sory i wasent talking to you

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you make an onion cry? Onions are incapable of crying

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A tiger walks into a bar, the patrons ran out terrified.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

This is Nero, the guy striving a bit with the fact that he killed his mother in order to save his wife a month or so before Christmas: cathphra is Exceedingly well read, I say than you. I had a nightmare tonight, my parents where serving tomato soup, while my mother made great food (despite the fact they discovered that it was not angel dust she used, but large quantities of opiate that would have killed an elephant) But this time they served me dry tomato soup (that from packages) and a bowl of lukewarm soup. I asked: How am I supposed to mix this? They both gave me the look of "here comes a beating" I started calling my mother many things that horsehead network sensors, then my father grabbed my neck and tried to twist my head off (and in this dream, rather than in reality, he actually succeeded) but I somehow managed to remain alive. Then I yelled in english: THIS IS BECAUSE I KILLED YOU! I HAVE NO SOUL TO TAKE! Only then I realized it was a dream and woke up...You know, because my parents never spoke English so they would not have understood me... I have a broken vertebrae in my neck to prove that my father tried quite hard to break my neck in reality at least... Yeah, I am mostly over it, I killed my father when he tried to break my neck because I kept scatching my ortopedic arm while studying (real arm which my mother cut off and then proceeded to beat me up with funny story actually) Then killed my mother years later when she stabbed my girlfriend induced under what turned out to be a heavy dose of opiates, and paralgin forte (which main ingredent is... you guessed it MORE opiates).

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a black man throwing jars of flaming fruit preserves at a Jewish basketball player. MEXICO

thumb_up thumb_down -23

do you know whats worse than a bad joke on antijoke.com the holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did one ear say to the other ear? Did you hear that?

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q: What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +35

You have 6 basketballs. One rolls away. How many do you have? None because your family has a low income, lives in a broken down trailer, and has 5 other kids to supply for.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what do you call a young man? a little boy

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the alcoholic say to his priest? I'm Drunk. The priest says "Your drunk go home". He barely makes it.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops