Roses are red, violets are blue, I have aids, and now you do too!

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Why did the chicken kross the road? It didn't because it was a highway and it got hit by a bus.

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There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They all had different colors of hair.

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whats red, brown and blown up? a hampster in a microwave

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Knock knock Who's there? Oh. I was just making sound effects.

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What did the catholic priest do to the little boy in the Confessions Took his confessions

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Roses are red, Violets are VIOLET!

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why did a guy try to rob me? because he was black.

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What do you call when you see a man murder 8 black guys? The police.

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A man walks into a bar, he begins drinking and returns home visably drunk. His family disowns him as he is a recovering alchoholic who was three months sober.

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What did the great political leader say in order to calm the riot. There were no definable words. He merely screamed as the riot swallowed him and tore him apart.

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Knock knock Who's there? Cow Cow who? If you really think about it, it's really now

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house red. Babies, especially dead ones cannot paint.

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My son made a tree fort, it burned down.

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Why'd the boy fall off his bike? The holocaust

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"Where are my shoes?" asked the man. "On your feet," I replied. "You are a paraplegic and have no feeling from the waist down."

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Why don't Catholics allow people to wear condoms? Because they get stuck in the alter boys braces.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the other side Why did the lollipop cross the road ? It was stuck to the chicken's head Why did the chicken commit suicide ? He couldn't get the lollipop off its head

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? George. George Who? George Smith.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Roses are red violets are blue i heart my toilet Becuase it holds all my POO!!!!!!!!

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge asked "Mum, why is my name Fridge?" to which she replied "Because you deserve to be in one."

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A neutron walks into a bar. He orders a drink and ponders why his mother gave him the name, "A neutron."

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What did the banana say to the bear? Nothing, banana's can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops