Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

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A black man and a mexican jump from a tree. Who hits the ground first? The mexican. The black man had a rope tied around his neck.

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Nice belt.

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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What is big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? Donald Trump

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What happen to the girl that received chocolate on Valentine's day? She had a allergic reaction.

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what do you call a newborn baby? anything you want.

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What's the difference between men and coca-cola? I don't like coca-cola

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How are friends and trees alike? They fall down when you hit them with an ax.

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What's the difference between scrambled eggs and scrambled dead babies? I don't like scrambled eggs..

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What's worse then falling up the stairs? Ketchup

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What do you do when a man in a corner offers you candy? You walk away.

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So i was thinking of going to japan for spring break. I've heard they have some awesome swells.

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knock knock! who is there? its knock! knock who??? knock knock... who is there.... i told you its knock... knock who??? knock knock... WHO IS THERE!! OMG I TOLD YOU ITS KNOCK! KNOCK WHO!! WHO IS KNOCK! KNOCK KNOCK OMG WTF! HOLY SHIT WHO IS THERE! ITS KNOCK WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER OUR WHOLE LIVES! KNOCK WHO?? KNOCK KNOCK WHY DONT YOU REMEMBER ME! oh knock knock from next door! who is there???? jk.. knock...knock......omg put down the gun knock knock stop i love you knock its not worth it!! NO KNOC!!! GUNSHOT* KNOCK NOOOOO!!! I LOVED YOU SOMEONE CALL 911!! OMG KNOCK WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH KNOCK WHY!!!!

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What did Tommy's father tell him on Christmas? Nothing, he was violently stabbed to death on Christmas Eve.

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What did Elmer Fudd say when Bugs Bunny got away again? "Oh, dat dawn wabbit, I'ww get it some day".

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Are you kidding? If you can slow down time when stressed, then that means that your perception of time is, well... Oh relative, but still wow! What about now though? Can you do it? And for curiosity`s sake, what if you jumped off a roof? Would the stress make it all really slow?

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What happened when the black man and the white woman mated? Nothing. The man was infertile.

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welcome to anti joke.com. you were expecting an anti joke wernt you.

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roses are rose, violets are violet, now shut up you retarded poet!

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I AM DEAD, FUCKING, SERIOUS! NOW GET OVER HERE MOMMY I WANT TO... ...Thats pretty disgusting, I was born a man, maybe an infant man, but a man regardless. So how about you stop showcasing me to people here and we just take off? I mean I am dead tired and sleepy, I would say good night, but its day here now so yeah.

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What do you call a dead cow? Dead Meat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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