Why did the guy kill his friends? He didn't, he doesn't have any friends

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did the black person say when his white friend said "Nigga!"? "You know, I really don't get racist jokes like this."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

how did the fat man survive the plane crash? he didn't, he died like everyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

how do you punish helen keller? leave the plunger in the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why'd the women leave the kitchen? her chain broke

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock Who's there? Eat a d!ck you sh!t fukk! I'm going have to ask you leave now

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Boy: Knock Knock. Man: Who's there? Boy: Doctor. Man: Doctor Who? Boy: Haha! The man then invites the boy into his home, where he gives him a glass of lemonade laced with Ruphalyn. He then proceeds to take off the boy's clothes and rape him. When the boy awakes, the man starts to fear for the police discovering the boy in his home, so he kills the boy and cuts off his limbs and head, and buries the body parts in a hole in his backyard.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whats worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Madeline McCan

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? It's Doctor Green. I've got some bad news about your test results. Can I come in?

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Roes are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't rhyme, You're entire family has died. The plane that they were on went down due to a flock of geese getting sucked into the engine. They were visiting you for your twenty fifth birthday and wanted to surprise you. there were no survivors.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Roar, roar! I am the king of the jungle! But did you know the lion would be defeated by a polar bear in a battle between the two?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what do men with small penises use as condoms? appropriately sized condoms.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Mum says therirs ups in life... I have the Downs

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do a Nazi and a Democrat have in common? They are both members of a highly supported political faction.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the difference between a duck A chair Vests have no sleeves

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did Hitler like his steak well done? Because like many people, he didn't like the sight of blood in his steaks.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

why was the little boy happy? Because he wasn't in the penn state locker room.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A dog walked into the forest and saw a whale in a puddle

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Who always participates in "No shave November"? The homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the black guy get from his white girlfriend for valentines day? An HIV positive test result.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

thumb_up thumb_down

Caolan and Eamon

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a black kid on a bike ? Dirt bike

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops