What did the zombie eat for breakfast? You. You fell a-sleep

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What's nice and looks like a rat? Ryan Kavanagh, I lied about the nice part

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Whats black, white, and Asian all at the same time? A panda

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why did the kid get chemotherapy? because he had cancer

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69

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Cows make a world go round and round They also live in the town town town They make a funny sound sound sound MOO MOO MOO MOO MOO Where do cows go on saturdays? The MOOvies I am Cow Hear me MOO I weigh 10 times more than you! Why are cows black and white? Cause they dont want to be racist

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Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are having a baby. Even Stevie Wonder saw that one coming.

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why did hitler hate the jews... because the nazies had to pay the gas bill

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your landlord your being evicted we need you out in 2 weeks.

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How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

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What do 10 dead babies in a blender sound like? Idk because I was too busy masturbating.

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How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man in a gorilla suit with a banana.

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Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Two blonds walk into a bar, the brunette ducked

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Whats Brown and Sticky A) a stick

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A Frenchman, an Irishman, and a Russian walk into a bar. The Frenchman orders a glass of wine, the Irishman orders a whisky, and the Russian, who prefers to be sober, orders a glass of water. They have an all-around pleasant night, yet they leave the bar upset. Why? A severe water contamination in the town resulted in the Russian man consuming a fatal dose of arsenic.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't - red is the natural colour for ripe tomatoes.

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What happened when the boys visited Penn State? They got toured around campus and decided that it would be their future college.

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Q :Whats the difference between a truck load of bowling balls and a truck load of dead babies? A: I don't have a truck of bowling balls.

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(Man #1): Do you know how I know you're gay? (Man #2): How? (Man #1) When I kiss you, you kiss me back...

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A son went to ask his father about his thoughts on abortion. "Dad, what do you think about abortion?" "Ask your sister." "I don't have a.."

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How many jews does it take to- I have alzheimers

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Theres 3 guys walking and the see a genie. He says hell grant 3 wishes. The first guy asked for sandals. The genie said"I can do that" and he got sandals. The second guy asked for rock hard abs.The genie said,"sure thing".When he looked down, he saw that he had rock hard abs. The third guy asked for a pair of pants."ok" Said the genie. And then he got a pair of pants.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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