Its Eliza, hope you are still there, would you mind getting here sooner? This site is not safe, besides its cold here, I mean send somebody else if you got to, I might look frail but Nero taught me a thing or two, so I can honestly say that Nero taught me better than you guys just in case. Funny you say there is no code, yet add three, yeah you better expect nothing "fancy", Mr.Torture dungeon master. Honestly though I do not blame you, and if I really meant you where a psycho, I would not have agreed/asked you showed up, I am serious I need to get out of here.

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Why did little Lisa fall off the swings? She had no arms

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69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

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What do you call a deer with no eye? NO IDEAR!

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What do you do to someone you hate very much? You kill them.

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What did the Muslim say to the Sikh? "Hello. Lovely weather today."

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart but the very next day your body rejected the transfer and you died.

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what do you get when you use heroin aids.

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What's the difference between a duck and male black prostitute? The duck is says quack

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A man walks into a bar Ouch

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what's the difference between a crocodile?

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What did the guy say to the campgrounds? It was in tents (get it like intense but it is a pun)

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What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

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Knock knock (No one is home)

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What did the college kids drink at the party? Soda. Alcohol is illegal for people under the age of 21 to consume.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Whats worse than losing your phone? Buying a new one and then losing that

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A child walks into a classroom.

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Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

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There's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead who sit next to each other in college. They are good students and regularly do their homework.

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What would happen if you put avocando, pineapple, sardines, peanut butter, brussel sprouts and milk into a blender and drank it. most probabley salmonala poisoning because the sardines were off.

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When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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What do Kobe Bryant and a toaster have in common? They both rape white women. Except for the toaster.

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when life throws you lemons you should probably get out of the way because it will hurt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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