Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a cucumber

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I grunt when I poop.

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What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

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how do you make a baby cry kick it off a cliff

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Q: Why is Santa's sack so big? A: Because he only cums once a year

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because skeletons don't get invited to parties because they are the remains of something that is dead and that would be a very ood thing to have at a party.

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what do you call a fat black cat and a skinny white dog? Just two animals that are judged.

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Why was the man whistling? He was calling his friend.

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Why did Paul Walker cross the road? He wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

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What did the man say to the orphan? No one loves you, you have no friends.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass.

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Q:theres a man on a tight rope 3000 feet above ground and theres a man getting head from a 90 year old women with no teath. what did they both say? A: dont look down.

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How do you feed 1000 people? Cook 1000 meals .

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A black man walks into a bar holding a weapon. He is asked to leave to leave because weapons are not allowed in the bar.

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walk briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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Jake: Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Steve: She had no Arms. Jake: Knock Knock Steve: Who is there? Jake: Not Sarah

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Which is the smallest? A. Jupiter B. Whale C. Cow D. Bracelet Answer: D

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What did the rapist say before the little girl got in the van? Get in the van

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What do you call a black person who flys a plane? Well, first ask for their name, then address them as such.

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clamidia

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Yo momma is so fat, she has to wear a large shirt

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Why was the little boy sad? He tried to dry off his puppy in the oven.

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Why did the kid give a bad presentation in class? He knew basically nothing about the topic, and on top of that had a large erection.

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u know y blondes and tornadoes r so alike? first theres a lot of blowing and sucking, and then u lose ur house!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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