Why did The chicken cross the road? To get ran over.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

knock knock use the doorbell. our door has a hive of bees in it. three ambulances and a pest control squad was at the house five minutes later.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Two muffins are in an oven. Ten minutes later we're enjoying delicious muffins together.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A lumberjack wearing women's underwear under his clothes walks into a bar. Several Canadian Mounties stand up and surround him, compliment him on his cooking and offer to go looking for some wild flowers for his herb collection.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A Polish man is walking down the street carrying a brown paper bag. He runs into one of his buddies, who asks, "Hey! What's in the bag?" The man tells his friend that he has some fish in the bag. His friend says, "Well, I'll make you a bet. If I can guess how many fish you have in the bag, you'll have to give me one." The man replies, "I'm sorry, my friend, but gambling is against my morals, especially when my family's only nutrition for the week is on the line."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the deaf man take his parrot to work? He was weird.

thumb_up thumb_down +281

Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red. Waffles are blue. Blue Waffle.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a black man who lands on the moon? An astronaut...f*cking racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a black guy that steals a car? A father desperate to save his dying son who doesn't have a car to drive to a hospital

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's the difference between an elephant and a toaster. A lot of things.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

This is a stupid joke. Get it to the top of the list and Kobe Bryant will pass to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock Knock Who's there? You know you really should have a safer way of finding out who is really on the other side. Now a days it's just not safe to ask, "who's there". I mean it could have been, Milkman, Plummer, or worst a Land Shark!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

The child was fired from his job.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

The BCS

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats the difference between a falcon and a deer? both live in water, except for the falcon... oh, and the deer.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the jewish boy crying? i lied he was happy.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Roses are Red And sometimes yellow My mother is mellow I have terminal cancer. I also fisted my grandpa's anus last night

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A muslim walks into a gun shop

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walked into a bar. He has been in a coma for six weeks now.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

You wanna hear a touching story? Once a pon a time you died. The end. (all anti jokes posted by me will be adressed with -blarg)

thumb_up thumb_down -38

When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A robbery occurred at Temple University, the perpetrator is an African-American male, 5'11", wearing jeans and a black sweatshirt. Be on the look out and notify the police if seen

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops