What's 6+2? 16

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Impossible, fruits to not have the ability to talk.

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How does a black chick tell if she's pregnant? When she pulls the tampon out, all the cotton is already picked.

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Did you hear about the blond who went to college? She got her masters. became and environmental scientist, married a nice man, and had two wonderful children. After retiring at age 65, she spent the rest of her days living in a cozy beachside house.

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Your mama's so fat that she has type 2 diabetes.

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what happens when two small children jump into a pool full of pedophiles? They splash around and have fun

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What kind of coins to you find at the bottom of the ocean? Wet coins.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because the burglars tied her up and gagged her before they robbed the house and she couldn't do anything until one of the neighbors found her and untied her.

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What did the crazy asian man say just before he died? He didn't say anything- he was in an 18 month long coma due to a brain stem stroke. He left behind a wife, a 3 year old daughter and a newborn son.

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What did batman say to robin before they entered the batmobile? Get in.

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whats gayer than 2 homosexuals? 3 homosexuals.

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what does it mean when Justin Bieber sounds like a boy someones hit puberty

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bike? I don't enjoy riding bikes.

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once you go black you prefer not to date any white people

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why did jenny fall off the swing? ...Cause she has no arms Knock, Knock Who's there? not jenny

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van.

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Why did the cat cross the road? he wanted to be a docter.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he accidently dropped it.

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What's brown and sticky? A Stick!

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Whats the difference between a person with cancer and breakfast? Breakfast is important

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What ever happened to the bartender that asked, "Why the long face?" He was punched hard on the face for asking a stupid cliche!

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A black man,a Hispanic man, and a white man are in a race. The white man wins because he took steroids and used somebody else's urine for the drug test.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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