How do you make a boy cry? Pour hot soup on his head.

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What did the guy say when he died? nothing, he was dead

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Son: Mommy can I have some cookies? Mom: Sure, they're on the top shelf! Son: But I don't have any arms! Mom: No arms, no cookies!

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The BCS

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there are 4 men in a bar talking about how well their sons are doing with their lives. But one man goes to the toilet. So the first man says 'my son is doing really well he is the head of a airline company and for christmas he got his bestfriend a plane.' The second man says' My son is doing really well he has his own car brand and for christmas he got his bestfriend a brand new car.' The third man says' Well my son is doing really well, He owns his own housing estate business and for christmas he bought his best friend a 250'000 sq foot mansion. The fourth man comes out of the toilet and all the three men say ' We are talking about how our sons are doing in their lives so what about yours.' The fourth man goes' well my son is gay but its not that bad because for christmas his three boyfriends got him a new plane, a new car and a 250'000 sq foot mansion.'

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on a scale from a banana to a pound coin - how much do you like the works of antonio vivaldi?

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RUN

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You read this in school as the kid sitting next to you stares at his computer screen.

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walk briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

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roses are red violets are blue last time i dropped something this hard it ended world war 2?

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A crazy priest squats down and poops in the middle of the church... nobody understood what was going so they pointed and laughed.

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Why was the man afraid of the pack of wolves? The man was blind and heard his stomach growling even though he had just eaten two buckets of KFC.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Dead Babies

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why did the chicken cross the road? why should a chickens motives be questioned

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What's yellow and can't swim? A tractor.

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Your momma's so broke she might be eligible for government assistance. Seriously she should totally look into it.

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What's worse than bad words? People who say them

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Why was the blonde so dumb? She had a severe case of dyslexia, which made it difficult to study.

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how do you make a cow float Give it 10000 balloons

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A man walks into a bar and says "I just got back from the battered woman's shelter, and boy are my arms tired" Everyone laughed. The man sat at the end of the bar drinking alone. He was proud of the fine craftsmanship of the shelves he put up in the shelter's pantry, regardless of what others may think.

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Seven people walk into the same bar, like a solid pole. Ouch!

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he frickin wanted to!!!!!!

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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