yo momma so fat, it appears she has two chins

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When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

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When life gives you melons, your dyslexic

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how do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The fridge is on its side, the door is torn off, and the ruined food scattered all over the floor. Not to mention there is an elephant in your kitchen.

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You know what happens when you plant a baby into the soil and give it lots of sun and water? It dies.

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What's the difference between an ant and a dinosaur? They are both birds, apart from the ant and the dinosaur

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Why did the constipated man go to the bathroom? To intentionally throw up; he has an eating disorder.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

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Ask me if I am a potato Are you a potato No.

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Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

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Let's write an anti-joke. K.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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a man walks into a bar and dies

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? In this situation, the minority.

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What do you get when you cross a cat with a log? I think the better question is why are you mixing those two things together?

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Why did the prostitute survive the gunshot? She was wearing a bulletproff vest.

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So, a black guy walked into a bar. "Ouch," he said.

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Q: Whats black and white and red all over? A: I am unsure for I am color blind.

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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Did you hear Whitney Houston died? Yes.

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Who's mean and white and really not nice? Hitler

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Q: Why did Katie fall of the swing? A: Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Katie

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What do you call a black man with a knife and red liquid on his hands? A chef who accidently spilled strawberry jam on himself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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