Do you know what killed the cat? Feline AIDS

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How do you know what time it is in the dark? Turn on the light and look at the clock.

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"How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door." "How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door." "The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which one?" "The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator." "There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat." "You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting."

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Chuck Norris was dropped twice when he was a baby, once on concrete and once on hardwood

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

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What did the single woman get for Christmas? Raped.

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Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy wishes the same.

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A man walks into a bar. The barman says, 'why the lo-, wait, i thought you was that horse again.'

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I am Asian, I've seen the color blue, but God made a mistake, Asians are taller than you.

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What happened when my familys break on the car didn't work? They rolled down a hill and fell off a cliff and died. I loved them.

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? It doesn't matter because the deaf man couldn't hear him.

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I went to church.. i didn't get raped. I went to school... I didn't get raped. I went into a back alley... I didn't get raped. I went home... I didn't get raped. Today was better than yesterday...

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Mitt Romney is in the mormon mafia has magic underpants and invented Obama Care but he still lost to a Black guy Who is a fine president.

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How do you steal candy from a baby? You ask nicely.

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Why didn't the boy eat chocolate yesterday Because he was allergic.

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Knock Knock? Whos there? Ching Ching Who? No...Ching Smith you racist!

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Why can't Hellen Keller read, write, or do anything really? Because, shes a woman.

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Helen got hit by a bus. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Helen!!

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Why was the little boy reluctant to approach his father? Because his father was a rotting corpse.

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What's half of 8? o

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

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Yes, I did not begin this alone, but things got complicated, you know who Alex Knight is right?

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A Rabbi, A Priest and an Imam walk into a bar. The Imam doesn't order a drink because it is strictly against his religious beliefs.

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(for comedians) I went to a coffee shop the other day. I ordered a coffee then sat down. Behind me there were two people talking. I didn't eves drop because it's impolite so I drank my coffee and left.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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