What's the difference between a dead baby and a pineapple? There will be no funeral for the pineapple..

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them!!!

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How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

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What is 4 letters and made out of wood? Wood.

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Playing chess with a pigeon is like having an argument with a christian. No matter how good you are at chess, the pigeon will just knock over the pieces, crap on the board and strut around like it's victorious.

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Why did the woman spend all her time in the kitchen? For fear of her abusive husband.

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I know what you do with your right hand. You part-take in everyday activities such as eating, typing, grooming and maneuvering.

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What did the doctor say to the young boy? We only planned on a annual checkup but have discovered that your and aids baby and only have 3 days to live. Tell your family members goodbye you'll be on life support in the next couple hours.

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A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "We don't serve food here." The sandwich charges the barman for discrimination.

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What do Hitler and Jesus have in common? Facial hair.

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You are the third derivative of the position function.

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A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

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RATE THIS JOKE THUMBS UP FOR TEN COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES RATE THIS JOKE THUMBS UP FOR TEN COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES

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Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

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What do you call a Chinese man in a cage full of Ostridges? A zoo worker.

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What do a Penguin, and your best friend have in common? They'll both die if you shoot them in the head.

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A dyslexic man walks into a saloon and asks for a hair cut.

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why did kim kardashian get divorced? because she was unhappy with her marrige. and because shes a slut

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what's black and hangs from a tree in my garden? a blackberry

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why did the little old lady die? she was mugged then shot in the head 5 times.

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What succeeds most of the time? The population of a field with grass.

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how many toyota's does it take to pee on a soccer game 900 because isis is a cat vagina

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Pikachu says "Pikachu!" Squirtle says "Squirtle!" Charmander says "Charmander!" Ash is upset because he cannot communicate with his Pokemon in their foreign tongue.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because seven is a murdering sociopath

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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