Why did the chicken taunt the opposing team? To get to the other side.

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Knock Knock Who is there? You have no Dick

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How to apply total justice 1: Kill all humans! Moral: "Why do I have to die while he gets to live? Nobody gets to live? Sounds fair and just to me!"

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Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and is incapable of going to down stairs without aid.

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Why did the girl start crying? Her pet sunflower had just died.

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“Before I know it, he’s got both of my hands in his viselike grip above my head, and he’s pinning me to the wall using his lips … His other hand grabs my hair and yanks down, bringing my face up, and his lips are on mine … My tongue tentatively strokes his and joins his in a slow, erotic dance … His erection is against my belly.”

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Why did the man fall over screaming? Because he got shot in the leg

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How did the gay guy greet the other gay guy? Nice to meet you.

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Why did the man smile at his wife? Because she had a silly looking face, like a fish.

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what is yellow with red all over tweety in a blender

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What does Michael have in common with NASA? Not a lot.

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Why do Asians squint their eyes? They were born like that.

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MORTAL KOMBAAAAAT BETA 0.3!!! DUDUDUDUDUDUDUNDUN Kano, Kano, Kano, Uh, some asian guy? Kano Kano, Kano, some black guy in the future, Kano, Kano, etc. MORTAL KOMBAAAT BETA 0.3!!!

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How come George hit his face when he fell? He had no arms.

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I saw a woman get donkey punched in the middle of the street. Nero the clit collector: You know... What is it called when A donkey kinda lifts its front hoove and hits a woman? ...WHAT? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE STARVE TO DEATH BECAUSE OF YOUR COIN COLLECTION? YOUR STAMPS ARE MURDER! (or something) At least my uh... "Friends" survive... SOMETIIIIIIIIMEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!! ...And then I kill them.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

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Why did the small 12 year old run away which a chicken. He felt like it and he was carrying bread which the chicken was allergic to.

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How do you get 100 Jews into a car? ...Nevermind, it wouldn't work.

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Yo mama's so old, she might die soon

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What has lips and smells like a fish? A fish.

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What is better than getting a job? Getting a better job.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a ferrari? You can't find a ferrari in my garage.

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I used to make references to characters in Skyrim, but then my uncle touched me...

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Dogta I don got da aids yeah? Well Sigh... Man I am so sorry, I got the positive, and the uh.. Good news... Whats the good news? I hate you! Whats the positive news? You dont have teh aids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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