A man walks into a bar. Cool story, bro.

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What's the difference between a zombie, a vampire and a werewolf? One is a zombie, one is a vampire and one is a werewolf.

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Why did the blonde shoot her dog? Because it had rabies

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The gay man came out of the closet.....Not that he wanted the world to know about his alternative lifestyle but because he is fairly wealthy and keeps his trousers on hangers in the rear of his walk in closet.

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A duck walks into a store and asks the clerk, "do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the same duck walks back into the store, and asks the clerk if they have any grapes. The clerk, slightly annoyed, says no again, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back in and asks again if they have any grapes. The pissed off clerk says, "No, and if you ask again i'm gonna nail your feet to the floor. The duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back into the store, and this time he asks the clerk, "do you have any nails?" The clerk says, "Yes." The Duck leaves.

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What did the kid with cancer get for christmas? Hope.

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Q. What has four legs, but can't walk? A. A dog dying of a serious illness...

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People who are addicted to brake fluid just can't stop.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A tragic accident waiting to happen.

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Q: What did blue say to red? A: Let's make some purple

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How much stuff would a stuff muff huff if a stuff muff could huff stuff? Whole dang lotsa

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Whats orange and sounds like a parrot? a carrot

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A blind guy and a priest walk into a bar

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A Mexican, A Jew and a Irishman walk into a grocery store...The Mexican buys some bread, the Jew buys some bread... and the Irishman buys some bread.

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Why did the man stop playing his computer game? The SWAT busted down his door and quickly pinned him down and arrested him for the murder of 7 families, he was charged for life in prison.

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what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

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Q: Why did Grandma fall down the stairs? A: Because she had a brain hammerage

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What happens when a fat guy falls ? Ohio has another earthquake.

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What did the man say when he lost his phone? Answer: I lost my phone!!

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Why is nate asian? no one knows neither of his parents appear to be of asian desent

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What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops