A man shouts a women crossing the road "Oi, get your rat out love!" So she did, and it savaged his face.

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A black man walks into a bar with a monkey on his shoulder. The bartender asks "Where did you get that?" The monkey replies "Africa, there are thousands of them."

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What is big, round, hairy, black with a little bit of white and red stripes, large feet, small hands, squinty eyes and a purple beret? Nothing. How ridiculous.

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Why's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding a golden ticket

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what did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? cancer.

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-What do you call a dog with no legs? -Call it whatever you want, it's not coming!

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A man decided to commit suicide. He did.

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Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator? A: She couldn't find the 10 key.

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KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA CHAMELEON

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How do you kill Osama Bin Laden? Get The Navy Seals To Infiltrate his compound.

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roses are red violets are blue i bribed a hobo to eat my poopoo

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Why does it take longer to build a Blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one? The trip to find a blonde wig suitable for a snowman, especially if you are picky and have a certain wig in mind, generally takes up more time than not searching for a wig at all.

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What is better than winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded

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Holy mother moley! Britain just brexited! Now there's no more Britain. Britain is all gone.

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Did you hear about the new brand of shovel? Yeah, it's pretty groundbreaking.

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Why did the man enter the fridge? He was hot Why is the man not in the chicken shop Hes in the fridge

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Grim Reaper. The Grim Reaper who? Joking with me will not postpone your death.

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Why was this German dude's water bill so high this month? Because there were thirty dead Jews in his shower. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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What's the difference between a carrot and an elephant? The carrot is orange.

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why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

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Q - What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a trampoline? A - I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline.

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What's black and white and red all over? A car in which some young hoodlum appears to have splashed a fair amount of red paint over the owner's otherwise charming checker pattern.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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whats worse than getting no gifts for christmas? getting hit by a bus for christmas

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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