What salad was served in the salad bar on the Titanic? Probably a selection of green leaves, radishes, cucumber, sliced hard boiled egg and cherry tomatoes, topped with cress, mixed seeds and a delicate dressing.

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what does a gorilla do when it sleeps. it snores.

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roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a poodle? A satisfied elephant and a dead poodle.

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Hey, there are 206 bones in the human body, would you like 1 more? ;) If you are referring to your penis, that is made of tissue, so it is not an extra bone. And no, I would not like your penis.

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? -Nothing, he doesn't know sign language.

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A ghost walks into a bar. Nobody sees it because it is a supernatural entity.

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the joke below will not be as funny as this one.... hahaha other joke i just ruined you

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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Q- Whats The Difference Between a Jew and a TV Dinner? A- One Gets Cooked in the Oven and the other is a TV Dinner!

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Why was the black man eating a banana? Because bananas are an excellent source of potassium.

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Q: What's the difference between a bird and a fly? A: A bird can fly, but a fly can't bird.

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How do you get a clown out of a tree? Shoot him in the head.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing!!

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why does clive keep getting crunk? because no girl satisfies him as much as geros

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Why did octopus cross the road? Because the road was underwater

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Your mommas so fat, that she's really big.

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Why the girl have a crooked leg? Her grandma thought that she was a pretzel and while the girl was sleeping the grandma tried to bend the girls leg into a pretzel shape

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- I have cancer. - SUCK IT UP!!!

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9/11 isn't funny. 19 Muslims died that day.

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Why don't they sell aspirin in the jungle? Because it is not financially viable to sell pharmaceuticals in a largely unpopulated area.

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This is an anti-anti joke. I don't expect him to get it.

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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