What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay the manufacturers suggested retail price.

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Why did the student get the math question wrong? -Because hes dead

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? Because he got hit by a bus.

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How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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A man with no face walks into a bar, another man sees this and promptly asks "Sir, why do you have no face?" The first man says nothing and walks away.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Roses are red.

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i would like to know if the rumors about the moon being made out of chees is true because nobody told me it was CC

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why couldnt jimmys feet touch the ground? he was hanging.

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Q: Whats the difference between a table and a Mexican? A: You tell me.

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knock knock who's there? pizza man ok

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Women's Rights.

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Why does Justin Beiber's asswhole hurt, and his father's dick was brown? Because he ate mexican food and his on his dad's dick.

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Why did the little girl cry? Because she saw her future.

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why did the man lose his testicle? he had cancer

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." Then there is silence and a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone the guy says "I shot in the air and my friend heard it and moved. I think he's still alive." The operator says "Good that means he's still breathing and he's not dead."

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3 guys walk into a bar....dont you think one would see it ?

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A black man is setting up contingency measures of protection in his personal place of residence when all of a sudden, several warning alarms sound and a few specialized people with red "combating" devices who were alerted by the blatant scenerio unfolding before them were moving quickly in order to match previously stipulated criteria of value. The black man and his family were partaking in a monthly fire drill unfolding in their own house since they were extremely responsible, law-abiding citizens of the city they were located in that required various kinds ofl saftey precautions to be taken so to mitigate the serious chance that people might be hurt by preventable, residential distasters.

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Your mom is so fat that her BMI is in the morbidly obese column.

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When I'm sad I cut myself... another slice of cheesecake.

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Knock Knock Whos there Cameron oh

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Roses are red violets are blue i heart my toilet Becuase it holds all my POO!!!!!!!!

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What do you call it when a plane crashes into a school? A terrible accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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