Why did the baby die? Cuz the father had a small dick.

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What did the black guy, the Mexican guy, and the Chinese guy have for lunch? A sandwich

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If I told you I was straight I'd be lying

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish.

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A man walks into a bar but didn't say anything because he is mute.

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What has four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill someone? A pool table.

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Tom Petty walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'm sorry, you are visibly intoxicated. We cannot sell you liquor." The bar explodes because someone said no to Tom Petty.

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A shark ate your mom

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There was this girl who suffered for her whole life and then she died. It was very liberating.

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A duck walks into a bar "Can I have some brandy, please" says the duck The bartender then proceeds to make millions because he was the first to discover a talking duck

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Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd probably pay in cash.

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Man: Drink this. Man 2: Ok. (Drinks it) Man; You drank a powerful substance that is 20000 times stronger than hydrochloric acid! Man2: Oh FUCK! Kelvin Yang.

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What do lawyers and sharks have in common? They both play vital roles in their own society or ecosystem.

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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Roses are red Violets are blue TEST: Are roses red?

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Why did the chicken cross the street? Because it could without dying.

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what do you call a dog with no legs? doesnt matter what you call him, he aint coming!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

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gay porn...

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How do you drown a fish? You can't , it is physically Impossible to drown a fish. because they have gills, so they are able to breathe underwater.

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How do you stop a bus? Put the brakes on.

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Knock knock who's there I killed your family

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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