Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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A horse walks into a bar. He called him Arthur. Those are two sentences.

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What happened to the blonde pregnant women? She died giving birth to her blind and mentally challenged son.

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heyy emit chase wazzup

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Which is longer? A rope...

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Why didnt little jimmy have a funeral? Because he is still at the bottom of the lake where I put him.

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree?Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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What do you call a giraffe without a neck? Dead.

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The dyslexic man called the black man a ginger.

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Do you want to hear some bad news? My wife just died Do you want to hear some good news? I'm single

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Knock Knock Who's There 42

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Whats The diference between a park bench and a black man? A park bench can support a family of five hahahhaahahah

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Why can't a blonde woman drive? because she was shot in both legs and cannot operate the pedals without extreme pain.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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Here's a riddle... A cowboy rides into town on saturday, stays for three days, and leaves on saturday... How does he do it? Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... OH... I'M DONE NOW...

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How may Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

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Ask me if im an Airplane. Are your Airplane? Hell yes

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"Up to 50% off."

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Hypothetical questions are a waste of time and you are not achieving your full potential by reading this during work.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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Chuck Norris tried to return some jeans to Target and when they didn't give him his money he kickeed them in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops