- Anti Joke

How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

What's funnier than the holocaust? Nothing.

whats the difference between justin beiber and a gay guy? both guys and girls like gay guys

Q: what did the man with a broken jaw say? A: nnamkkiuuiriwojjkmgfmls!!!!

Mommy, where do babies come from? In biology, sex is a process of combining and mixing genetic traits, often resulting in the specialization of organisms into a male or female variety (each known as a sex). Sexual reproduction involves combining specialized cells (gametes) to form offspring that inherit traits from both parents. Gametes can be identical in form and function (known as isogametes), but in many cases an asymmetry has evolved such that two sex-specific types of gametes (heterogametes) exist: male gametes are small, motile, and optimized to transport their genetic information over a distance, while female gametes are large, non-motile and contain the nutrients necessary for the early development of the young organism. An organism's sex is defined by the gametes it produces: males produce male gametes (spermatozoa, or sperm) while females produce female gametes (ova, or egg cells); individual organisms which produce both male and female gametes are termed hermaphroditic. Frequently, physical differences are associated with the different sexes of an organism; these sexual dimorphisms can reflect the different reproductive pressures the sexes experience. Thanks mommy

What is purple and flies? A purple plane.

Whats pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

Why didn't the Mexican go to college? He was caught smuggling drugs over the border and was shot.

Q. What you call a Guy with no arms an no legs in the water? A. Bob

a man walks into a house... then realizes its not his house and leaves.

why did u fart to loud? because you butt said so

Why didn't Jacob marry Bella from Twilight? You have to be real to marry someone

Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

A muslim walks into a gun shop

why did the cow cross the road because he wanted to go to the mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove

im not black, im Joseph Kony

I just read the long joke posted earlier. I have no life. :(

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

Why do people insist on drinking diet soda meanwhile eating extremely unhealthy food? Because some people like the taste of diet soda over regular soda.

— Knock knock. — Who's there? — Funny. — Funny who? — A funny joke.

Here's a joke for you, my life...

Why doesnt Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesnt float.

roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence in prison.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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