What is the main contrast about different banks? None, they all take your money!

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Yesterday I saw a blind man walking down the street, I asked if he needed help and he said "I'm fine thanks." Later on I saw a deaf man walking down the street and asked if he needed help. He didn't hear me, he then fell off the curb and was hit by a car.

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What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? An Irish wedding is the celabration of two people joining in matrimony, and an Irish funeral is a somber rememberence of a deceased person.

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why did the irishman need plastic surgery? because after the bear attack where there used to be a face there is now a gap

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a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

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Roses are brown I likes clouds This joke isn't funny so don't laugh

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A horse walks into a bar... The bartender is amazed at the fact that an animal that possesses neither the mental nor the physical abilities to open doors, still managed to enter the bar without breaking anything.

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Knock Knock! Come in.

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Let's see how many dislikes this can get!

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Why did billy go to the beach? To spread his moms ashes on the sand.

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Want to hear the funniest joke in the world? I forget how it goes but it ends with the abolishment of slavery.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Why doesn't stevie wonder play snooker? Because it's not very popular in the US.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Statutory Rape.

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Your mother is so stupid she couldn't get a passing score on a standardized test.

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Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

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A Chinese man, an American man, and a Mexican man are sitting in an airplane. When the flight attendant comes by with food, the Chinese and American both opt for pretzels, while the Mexican prefers crackers and makes his selection accordingly. The three sit back and enjoy their snacks separately.

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Why did Kelliintheraw get punched in the face? Because she is a dumbass

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz 7 8 9

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What is brown and gurgles? dead baby casserole

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How do you wake Lady Gaga up? Poker face

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Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

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why can't timmy tie his shoes? Because timmy's an earth-worm

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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