What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney loves you.

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Knock knock Go away

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America

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How did the black man get to work this morning? He didn't. He had been struggling with depression and finally this morning, he committed suicide.

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

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Why is Obama Care a lie? Cuz he doesn't care!

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What is Brown And Sticky ? ......... a Stick

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What's black and self-describing? The words of this joke.

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What did Mars say to warn Prehistoric Earth before an asteroid hit it? Nothing, sound can't travel through space, it's a vacuum. The dinosaurs will be missed.

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Two guys walk into a bar. One man walks out of the bar at a similiar time.

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What do you call a baby who was raped and murdered? Funny

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? nothing.

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Why did the black man go through the window of the house? He left his keys inside

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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what did the horse say to the other horse Neigh

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How do you confuse a blonde? Try and teach her the finer points of Quantum Physics without allowing her to take any notes, and then test her on it.

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Why couldn't the teenager go to the pirate movie? He didn't have any money.

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roses are red violets are blue i have 5 fingers the middle ones for you.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper... used to clean up a crime scene.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? You shouldn't eat Jews, unless your a cannibal for which you should seek psychological help.

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Pour it.

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what do you call a Puerto Rican with no arms? Trust worthy

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What did billy get after sex? Herpes

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Did you know that there is a species of rodent capable of jumping higher than an average three-story building? This is due to its muscular hind legs and the fact that the average three-story building cannot jump.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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