Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

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Make it? Sodium levels? Means he is eating right? Its not ADHD, the chatter is his way of coping with pain and what I believe is PTSD (dont tell him, he would get mad, if he gets that blank stare while chatting a lot its like he is back in the past for a while, please distract him out of it, but dont tell him anything about that. Give him what he wants, its a secret but Nero masters hypnosis, and he pretty much knows himself to a point far beyond others know themselves, he can sense lies and knows how others are feeling just by the movement of their pupils, their eyes, their breath, the tonality of their voice and lots of things like that, I think thats some sort of hypnosis as well, he uses ritalin in order to focus and shut off pain receptors mentally and stuff I don't understand, I am sure he would not ask for it unless he knew he could take it, he has literally performed surgery on himself before, the kind that would kill anyone unless under strong anesthetics. (removed bullets from the back of his skull, people say its just a myth, but I was there so I know its true) Please trust me on this as weird as it might sound.

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What happens when you breed a Siberian Tiger with a California Condor? Nothing. The tiger does eat the condor though and you are found out by a neighbor and charged with animal neglect, animal cruelty, and possession of two endangered species. You are fined $100,000 and go to jail for 5 years during which you are sodomized.

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Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato

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What did the little boy with cancer ask for from the Make a Wish foundation. A cure and to lose his virginity before he dies.

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What's green and smells like yellow paint? Green paint.

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Q: How do you make a plumber cry? A: Kill his family.

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What's the difference between a bunch of slaves and a porsche? A: i don't have porsche in my basement

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The Braves win the N.L. east

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Why did the little boy die? Because he had cancer.

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Sally went to an R-Kelly concert what happend when she came out? No one because R-Kelly peed on sally and cops came in.

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Who keeps knocking on the wall? My neighbors have sex a lot.

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? Zero, they already stole them all.

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Scott

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what has fore legs and cant fly a cat you idiot

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Roses are red Violets are blue I regurgitate doorknobs

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2 guys walk into a bar, a third guy carefully ducks under it

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Wanna hear a joke? Ruddell had sex.

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Q) what happens when you tackle someone with 2 legs? A) you fall over

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How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

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What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

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Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

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A man walks into a bar, and promptly leaves because he left his kid in the car.

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Q: What has four legs and an arm. A: A pitbull on a playground

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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