Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Mary.

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What happened to Dave when he walked across the road? He got hit by a car and died... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Dave...

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whats red and smells like blue paint? Hank Kovalcik

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Whats pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff.

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How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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As friend of mine recently told me that he knew my deepest darkest secret. When I asked him what it was, he said that I was too emotionally unstable, and that I would never be ready to settle down. I killed him.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm schizophrenic. And so am I!

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What do you get when you mix a dog with a pool table? I don't know.

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WHY DID THE WHITE MAN TALK TO THE BLACK MAN TO LIGHTEN HIM UP

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What did you get for your birthday? I got older

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How many men does it take to screw a light bulb? One, men will screw anything.

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Whats funnier than 24? 25

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Q)Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the toilet? A)Because the P is silent.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? three-thirty.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stuck on a desert island together. They eventually succumb to dehydration and heat exhaustion. They lasted five days.

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whats white, and stinks of urine? nick griffin's toliet

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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What's better than being rich? Not living in Kenya.

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Why did the black man go to the gym? Because he was severely fat and would live a short life if he didn't lose weight.

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Did you hear about that superman guy? He died.

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What's the same about a clown and a knife? They are both fun, except for the clown. I hate clowns.

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what do Russians play? Tetris, what else?

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What do you call a black person in a pool? A black person swimming.

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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