the real mccoy

thumb_up thumb_down -11

i remember when i was a child i wanted a skateboard but my parents would never buy me one so late one night i crept downstairs and got a hammer and some wood and i beat them to death my foster parents baught me 5 skateboards

thumb_up thumb_down +18

roses are red violets are blue i have five fingers the middle ones for you

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being chased by 7, who is a rapist

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Do you still got what it needs to become a better leader than me Nero?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A horse walked into a bar. The bar was part of the fence he was enclosed by.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" Not Sally because she has no arms ~Sally jokes

thumb_up thumb_down

What do bicycles and platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q. Why didn't the man tell his girlfriend about his big lottery win? A. Because it was none of her business.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did johnny say when he fell down the stairs? Nothing he snapped his neck

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Ow, there's an arrow in my knee!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A pregnant woman goes to the hospital to deliver a baby. It is born perfectly normal and healthy, the doctor looks at the mother and father offering them congratulations as he hands them a 9 lb 10 oz baby boy. The mother wanted a girl, but she instead develops post part em depression. She goes through years of psychotherapy to again become well adjusted, her second child is a girl.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Q: How do you make a fireman cry?? A: Drown his wife

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why do you never see hippopotamus hiding in trees? They are really good at it.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why were there a series of riots in london? The police shot and killed a man who was threatening them and thus caused his friends to get angry and caused other people to lose control.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did the man drop his razor? he had a seizure.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Good job, son.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is worse than something terrible happening to you? That same thing happening to me of course... Duh...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

( . Y . )

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the Jewish man say when he answered the phone? Hello?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the Queen of England say when here servant died? Another one bites the dust!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

An Englishman walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops