why did u fart to loud? because you butt said so

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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It’s dead.

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What starts with the letter P and ends with 'orn'? Porn....

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Knock Knock Knockin on heavens door..

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What did the teacher say to the pupil who was bad at maths? You are bad at maths and will never complete any sum EVER!

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A man dressed in a business suit goes into a doctor's office. He asks the receptionist how much a vasectomy would cost. After a minute of her looking it up on the computer she turns to him and says "The procedure will cost $750." He then thanks her and leaves.

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What do you get when you cross a muslim and a mexican? i don't know, i just thought that this would make an interesting question.

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What do you tell a woman with no black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice but you're not an abusive partner.

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Why was the baseball player happy? He got married.

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What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked

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How do you call leprechaun with leprosy? Sick.

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how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

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There was a a round house with no corners.How many corners were there? 100 ,I never said that that it had to be that house.

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ever tried african food? they neither

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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What didn't the artist buy at Best Buy? A Ziploc Bag full of AIDs infested zebra pubes.

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Unnnnnnnn

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If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples how many pankackes can fit on the roof? Purple because alians do not wear hats./

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why didnt the dog bark? he died in his sleep

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A muslim paints Mohammed

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Fine, you got me there, I have already made sure that you get your compensation, it is the least thing I can do you let me know if anyone claiming to be part of my order bothers you again, I promise I will personally enforce strict guidelines in order to ensure that such a thing never happens again. I hope you will trust me, I will no longer call it the Order of Nero, but as you know we cannot reveal the true name of our order. I also agree to meet you in person so we can further discuss this impeding situation which I will give top priority. Truth is Nero, that I used to be one of your co workers in the underground, and my attempts at saving what is left might not be as ideal as the goals we are set to achieve are, we simply cannot expect that people excel at greatness at the first go. Of course this grave incident is not even near a "mere lack of greatness" but rather a group of people that yes, sadly have rightfully claimed to be members of our society, yet I need you to come to terms that this was a huge oversight in my vision for a new and "improved" underground society, and not a intentional attack at you and your personal security. I submit to your demands, and I ask that you partake in a small number of meetings where we can all discuss and further develop the necessary guidelines required to further solidify our foundation.

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What's the biggest difference between the East and West Coast? About 3,000 miles.

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A ship sinks in the middle of the South Pacific, only one man survives. He swims over to a deserted island.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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