Why is the black man in the ghetto? He is a cop and is trying to solve a murder that was committed a couple days ago.

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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Why did the man turn up at his friend's funeral dressed as Mickey Mouse? Because it would have been disrespectful not to attend.

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Whats worse than Holocaust Anti-Jokes? Oh, a lot of things, actually. Personally, I find them hilarious.

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How you do stop a baby from swinging around on the clothesline? Hit it with a shovel.

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What's the main reason for divorce? Marriage.

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A horse walks in a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?"..... The horse incapable of understanding the humane language promptly poos on the floor and leaves.

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What's a thither? My sister with a lisp.

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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hey i just met you and this is c r a z y , but im a pirate so call me matey ;)

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Paddy Englishmen, Paddy Irishmen and Paddy Scotsman walk into a bar. They realise that they all share a common name and make a casual joke about it.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. I don't believe you.

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how do you say desk in spanish? escritorio

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Why are anti jokes so repetitive? Because you're reading too many, get off your computer.

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Why did the car slow down? Becuase the driver pressed the break

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sweating like antoni with a girl

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What is Megan Fox's middle name? Denise

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Why don't you throw a rock at a Mexican on a bike? Because depending on the size of the rock, you could seriously injure him.

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What's the difference between a rhinoceros? I DIDN'T MURDER MY BROTHER OKAY!!!!!

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What did the lonely old man get on valentines day? Nothing, because his wife died of cancer two years ago.

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I'm innocent its all Taggart he's the one instigating.

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Q: Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours? A: Because she was dead.

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Laws are initially proposed in Parliament as bills. They become Acts after being approved three times by Parliamentary votes and then receiving Royal Assent from the Governor-General. The majority of bills are promulgated by the government of the day (that is, the party or parties that have a majority in Parliament). It is rare for government bills to be defeated, indeed the first to be defeated in the twentieth century was in 1998. It is also possible for individual MPs to promote their own bills, called member's bills; these are usually put forward by opposition parties, or by MPs who wish to deal with a matter that parties do not take positions on.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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