what's the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what do the Holocaust and Jeff Dunham have in common? they're both hilarious

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock knock Who’s there? The police, your family was killed in a horrific car crash on highway 22 this morning at 10:15 after they collided head on with a truck. They died instantly if it is any conciliation. We will contact you further into our investigation. Dave then poured himself a whiskey and thought about all the good times he and his family shared, teaching Jessica to ride a bike, his and Kate’s honeymoon in Honolulu, playing catch with Jacob. That’s when the full extremity of the situation hit Dave causing him to break into tears he sat and cried for three hours and fifteen minutes. Once he had gotten that out of his system he decided to visit his mother and tell her the horrible news. Knock Knock Who’s there? Dave Dave who? Again Dave breaks into tears as his grandmothers althsiemers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember her sons name. Feeling shattered he decides not to go through the process of explaining who he is and decides to head to the local pub to drown his sorrows. Bartender: hard day? Dave: my wife and two beautiful children were mauled in a head on collision with a truck and my mother can’t remember who I am. Bartender: yeah sure but was it a hard day? Dumbstruck with this ridiculous remark Dave pauses for a moment. The bar is silent only the sounds of bottles clinking and feet tapping on bar stools can be heard. Cigarette smoke hangs in the air. Dave stares at the bartender momentarily then throws his bottle at him send him off balance Dave then grabs the shot gun he knows the bartender keeps behind the counter and shoots the bartender at point blank range. Some customers run scared witless other try to control Dave but only end up in the same position as the bartender. Dave is left standing in a pool of blood. The smell of death hangs in the air with the cigarette smoke. Feeling slightly better Dave heads home and kills himself. Dave was an excellent plumber we will miss him.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the homosexual sad? Because his parents kicked him out, it was illegal for him to be married, and he had a difficult time being accepted by the society into which he was born.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What was the strangest part about meeting a girl called Suzie? She had arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats so funny? Josh nash's face

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q:What did the goat die? A: I dont know everything dies

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What starts with "p" and ends with "orn" Popcorn

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Violets are blue, Roses are red, We're doing it backwards, That's what she said.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

An asian man and a black man were having a conversation. The asian man sneezed. The black man got SARS and he died shortly after.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats worse than runing over a box of kittens? Runing over two boxes of kittens.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay man's house. Knock knock... Who's there? The Chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What ended the black family's picnic? Rain.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

I have read the terms and conditions

thumb_up thumb_down -3

ur mamas so ugly cause when she looked up at the sky it started to rain

thumb_up thumb_down -21

<3 ... it looks more like scissors than a heart...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the goblin have no friends? because no one likes a goblin, including other goblins.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

If the 49ers won the superbowl

thumb_up thumb_down -14

roses are red violets are blue i use refrigerators to keep my food cool

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have down syndrome, my favorite color is potato

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is the difference between a Mexican and a bike? they both get hit by cars in shady neighborhoods, like Copiague, New York

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I bet you read this. Told ya.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops