Her doctor told her that if she didn't start watching her cholesterol she might suffer from heart related illness in the near future.

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Q: What's long, hard, and full of sea men? A: A submarine.

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Q - How do you call black people driving in a black car on the black road, then falling off the black cliff into the black water? A - An unfortunate accident.

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Erectile Dysfunction.

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A man decides to commit suicide and jumps from the highest building in New York, he dies instantly on impact... the day was septermber 11th 2001, either way it was the end for the man

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There were two planes to take off.. One did, the other not at all..

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why do asprins work? Because they're white

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Why did Elmo get depressed? All his friends sacrifised themselves to satan

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because he fell off his bike.

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What did the Apple Tree say to the Oak Tree? Nothing.

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What do you call a banana in a blender? A banana in a blender. Duh

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why do elephants have such flat feet.....? from all those damn trees they have been juming out of....

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A schizophrenic man walks into a bar. He has split personalities and does not realize that he has murdered his family.

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What's worse than five babies in one trash can? One baby in five trash cans.

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What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? When I see a Porsche on the street, I think to myself, "that's a nice car," but when I see a pile of dead babies on the street I scream, "OH DEAR GOD WHY?!?! WHY?!?! WHERE IS THE MONSTER THAT KILLED THESE POOR BABIES?!?!" I then quickly alert the authorities of the hideous crime before vomiting profusely and crying until my tear ducts run dry. I sustain irreversible psychological damage and the image of hundreds of cruelly murdered infants prevents me from sleeping at night.

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What did the man say to the teacup? Nothing. He was drunk and on the floor.

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What do you call man who travels on foot? a pedestrian

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What did the homeless man get for his 34th birthday? 34 years of regret.

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Q:What are black basketball players good at? A:Running,shooting and stealing.

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That's illegal What? Your mom

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Who visits Satan on Christmas? A dyslexic box.

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don't make holocaust jokes, my grandfather died in the holocaust, he fell out of the birds nest shooting Jews.

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Ask me if I'm a truck! Are you a truck?! No.

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W.N.B.A.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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