What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common? Their middle name.

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Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

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What's little and very sad? A 5-year old locked in a cage.

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Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

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Why did the surfer surf in the ocean without a surfboard? Either he was mentally challenged, simply dreaming, a fish, or most likely did not have a surfboard.

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What did the man give his wife for her anniversary? Nothing. The man is a raging alcoholic and forget her anniversary due to his high alcoholic intake during the past few weeks. Even if he did remember he most likely didn't care after seeing his wife cheat on him with another woman putting his marriage into shambles.

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a man walks in to a night club he can not danse so he just wachis pepol

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People are a lot like slinkies. Not really good for anything, but still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

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what do you call a stupid chav? Gifted

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I spilled Spot Remover on my dog. Now he is blind and has chemical burns all over his body.

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Whats funny about a man in a pink leotard ? Nothing infact i think he's very brave

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Chuck Norris drove to McDonalds and ordered a Whopper. Much to his dismay, McDonalds does not make Whoppers, because that is the signature fast-food burger of McDonald's biggest competitor, Burger King.

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whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

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Woman are equal and deserve respect just kidding they should suck my ****

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What do you do when you see a one legged black man? Stop laughing and reload.

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A blonde is running for her life and sees a sign that says "GO LEFT TO SURVIVE". She goes right and she survives.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage.

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Knock knock whos there? Its me, your doorbell is obviously broken Okay, hold on a sec. Please hurry up, its really cold I cant seem to find my key Its probably on the coffeetable, where you always keep it. No, its not there Check the floor underneith Oh, right, there it is.

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what did the duck say to the dog. quack

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Whats faster than a black guy with a TV? His brother with a VCR.

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A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

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How do you make a plumer sad? You kill his children.

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Why do you do when a homeless man asks you for money Scream bicycle and then run

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What did the commentor say when he saw the "waht's worse than finding a worm in your apple...the holocaust." joke? I am offended to your cruel referance to worms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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