Q:What do you call a mexican witha clean record? A: Impossible

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what did Russell wilson get for Christmas a seahawk..

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What's worse than a truck full of dead babies? Trying to sell a used truck with dead baby stains all over it.

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Hey, guess what. What? ... Hello? Sorry, I don't talk to strangers.

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If life hands you lemons Take them

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Jersey Shore

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Why was the Asian women crossing 8 lanes of traffic with no blinker? Poor chink had a seizure.

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Q: why did the guys neck hurt after the car crash A: he had a sun burn

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Why is a building called a building when it's already been built? My pinky is pink and my liver helps me live.

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Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? A:Pull the pin and throw it back

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How do you make a chicken laugh. By showing it how to cross the road

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Gloves.

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She Explored My Body, Licked, Sucked, Swallowed! When Satisfied, She Left! . . . . Damn Mosquito!!!

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What's green and doesn't fly? A broken green helicopter.

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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Why did the boy lose his watch? Who cares? It was a shitty-ass watch.

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Q. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he got shot. Q. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he was stapled to the first monkey.

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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Y R U A B? I don't know why I am a bee.

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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A boy is eating with his family. A man in the next booth tells him "You are very handsome and you will be a movie star when you grow up." Then the man leaves. On the way out, the boy's mom says "You know he was drunk, right?"

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a fat man walks into a bar and gets laughed at because his shoes are untied

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A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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What did the black person say to the other black person? Im really white, I just want to fell what its like to be black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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