Who didn't allow the gorilla into the ballet studio? Whoever was in charge.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 7 ate 9!

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OH LOOK I'M A SAILOR I KNOW NAUTICAL PHRASES! LIKE...... KNOTS AND MAST AND SHIP AND SEA AND STUFF

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Why don't elephants smoke? Because they would be afraid of the fire, and they are much more adversely affected by recreational drugs than humans are.

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Roses are gay, Violets are gay, I am gay.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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What did Jesus say to Moses? Jesus isn't real. Moses replied, "Do you think I'm stupid? I'm talking to him!"

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Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

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why was the little boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face.

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One walrus says to the other, "Why are you shaking like that?" The other walrus says, " I've been addicted to ectasy for three years. It's ruining my life."

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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what's the difference between babies and a trampoline? I take my shoes off to jump on a trampoline.

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What is a waste of time and money? Your mother.

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Who has killed more people than Jeffrey Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy, and Jack Kevorkian combined? Mr. Rogers

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how do you get expelled? Rape a special ed kid.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory Because she repeatedly wrote Ws

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A gay man walks into a pregnant woman

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What worse than a baby nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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Got no dick? Then you're probably a girl.

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Why do they call Jean a redneck? Because her neck was red from being in the sun for so long.

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this is not an anti joke

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Why did nobody like the famous singer? Because she was Rebecca Black.

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Why did Johnny fall of the Swing?? Because i hit him with a shovel

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How many dead babies can you fit in a tire? It depends on the size of the tire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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