What do Tom Cruise and Santa Claus have in common? They're both Tom Cruise.

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How did the baby cross the road? The baby got stapled to a chicken

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How did the clown get the baby to stop crying? He hit it with an axe.

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What's worse than getting AIDS? shaking hands with a liberian doctor. Knock Knock Who's there? Ebola

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What do a bunch of dead babies look like in a blender? I don't know I was too busy masturbating.

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What's worse than seeing Levi naked? Cancer.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am a dog.

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YEAH THEY DO.

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what do you call a blonde with black hair? Artificial intelligence

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A; On the other side was another beautiful looking chicken who he plans to marry and raise a family with.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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What's worse than failing your midterms? Child abuse.

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So you have been really stressed lately huh?

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How many eskimos does it take to build an igloo? It depends... probably about six or seven.

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All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

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Two rocks are in the playground. Nothing happens, because rocks are not sentient beings and are thus incapable of producing any sort of activity on their own.

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch-n-sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

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A one armed blond is in a tree, how to you get her to come down? You wave to her?

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What's green and fuzzy and has legs that would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set a firework off on her face.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This poem is getting old, I like cookies.

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What do you say to seduce a woman? Is that a mustache? WTF!

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Rex Ryans foot fetish was honer by Mark Sanchez when he threw the ball at his teammates feet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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