Roses are red,I love the walking dead,but if they kill off Darrell ill watch glee instead

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the big chimney say to the smaller chimney? Nothing chimneys don't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you minimize the likelihood of theft? Take the derivative.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did the bear go into the woods to get shot

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the baby get for its 1st birthday? Nothing it was aborted.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why is a black man fat? Because he eats a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

two men where hunting one man shot a deer and ate it, the other man shot the man who killed the deer and made human steaks. a day later he killed his family. and ate them with his dog. he then grabbed the deer that was left in his fridge and used it to make a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the poorly educated man get fired from the M&M factory? He changed the M's to W's!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

*Knock Knock* "whose there?"... "me"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did one fetus say to they other fetus? Nothing they were aborted.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

You cannot invite, hire people for money and expect loyalty Red, you need to make them earn the right to work for you, merits, background checks, consistency, friend, I can help you with a lot of my own experience, what saddens me about you being the leader, is that you have a good heart. And you are naive, a dangerous combination, if anyone such as Jonas shows up again, your life may be in danger, I mean you know who I am talking about.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man forgets to hang his food in a tree on a camping trip. A bear comes and kills his wife and two kids but leaves the man to live with the guilt for the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man goes to see his doctor and says "Doctor, I have a pain in my leg." The doctor replies "That's the least of your worries, I ran your blood test and you have AIDS."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q. Whats the worst soccer team in the world. A. Ass-enal.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It probably saw an animal that it wanted to chase, or a person carrying food, or another dog that it wanted to make friends with.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock, Knock. I have no door.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich? A sandwich doesn't scream when I put my salami in it.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A have a black guy in my family tree. He married my cousin a few years back

thumb_up thumb_down +25

how do u kill a black kid ..... stabb him in the face with a nife

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops