Why did the weiner dog puncture Doris's bladder? It got carried away during an oral sex session.

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What do you call a Serbian-Australian man with no arms, no legs, and two feet. Nick Vujicic

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what do you call a pond filled with frogs having sex with bacteria is burning there insides while a midget with assburgers is chanting "SMACK THAT BADONKADONK!" racism..

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A traveling salesman stops at a farmer's house. The farmer then offers the salesman a bed with his daughter. The salesman quickly replied, "I don't want to go to bed right now. I need to know the way to Pawtucket." The farmer then gave the salesman directions and the two parted ways.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Except, technically, violets are violet.

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Q.What has flashing lights and really bad dancing A.Baby haveing an eppilectic fit

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, and only one eye? Dave.

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Roses are read bacon is good poems are hard .........BACON

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Did you hear about the guy who fed his dog his baby? No Oh

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Me: Hey, Johnny! Do you see that Tree? Johnny: No. Me: Neither do I.

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How do you estimate the number of jippos in an area? Take the dole's numbers from that area and measure how far away they are from the nearest council landfill site.

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Alot of people try to make shitty jokes on this webpage, thinking they're funny. They aren't.

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were did the gay guy go nowere because it was raining outside

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When was George Washington born? Who the hell knows. He's older than dirt.

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Yo mama so ugly, she has to work harder than most women to attract men.

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Knock knock, Who's there? Jason. Jason wh-(death sound when being cut by chainsaw)

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A man is lonely and calls a hooker. She goes to his house, pleasures him, and then demands 42 million dollars. The man shoots the whore and throws her body into a river.

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What should you never give to your friends as a wedding present? An old plastic bag full of rubbish.

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What do you call a chicken that can't lay eggs? a rooster

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How did the stuntman die? He was gored by a buffalo on a trip to Yellowstone.

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2 Scientists walk into a bar. The first one asks for H20, and the second one asks for H20 too. They both enjoy a refreshing glass of water.

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Q: What did Batman say when Robin was in the Batmobile? A: Robin, get out of the Batmobile.

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Why couldn't the elephant ride the bike? Because it didn't have a thumb to ring the bell!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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