A dog walks in to a Western Union, walks up to the cashier and says "I'd like to buy a telegram, please." The cashier says "Alright, what would you like it to say?" "I'd like it to say 'bow-wow-wow, bow-wow-wow" replies the dog. "Okay. You know, you can add another 'bow-wow-wow' to the message free of charge," the cashier informs. The dog says, "Well, that just wouldn't make any sense."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red Violets are red Your flowers are red Yes set your garden on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why didn't Helen Keller have headphones? Because they weren't invented

thumb_up thumb_down -44

What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the college student post unfunny anti-jokes on anti-joke.com? Because he was bored shitless.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many kids does Buzz Light Year have? To infinity and beyond!!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

The Big Bang Theory (the show).

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road it was out of its coop

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: What's the answer to this question? A: The question to this answer.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats 9+10? 19

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? You would too if your name was Hjshdvcyehbretafvvba.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Two friends were running late for their school gathering. As they arrived the train station, one friend said 'Quick, we need to catch the train!' The other replied, 'Can't we just get in it?'

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Slavery lol

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A man, trying to be polite, asks his irritating coworker, "Did you get a haircut?" His coworker responds, "No, I got them all cut!" The man groans and shakes his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Other Guy: What are you looking at? Me: You.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

8================D-------- (.Y.)

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why did the man fall off his unicycle? because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why couldn't Sarah see through her telescope? She was blind

thumb_up thumb_down +40

has anybody else just skipped to the short ones

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q: So why does an Asian guy look at these two black guys and a white woman in the middle? A: Because he wants an oreo cookie.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

If your fighting an octopus on mars how many lamps does it take to repair a dog house? Nine because a toaster cannot ride a bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did Dave stop going to the laundromat? Because he was a suicide bomber.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops