What did the homeless man do with his trolley full of aluminium cans, He took them to the scrapyard and sold them as this is his only source of income right now

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's a cow's favorite vacation spot? the slaughterhouse.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what do you call a kid without arms and legs? names

thumb_up thumb_down +34

horrible joke I I I I I I I VVV

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Now this is a story all about how, my life got flipped, turned upside down. Now I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, and I'll tell you how I lost my job at the tire plant, and how, being out of work and unable to find a new job, I was unable to pay my mortgage. The bank repossessed my house, my wife left me and took custody of the kids, and I ended up having to sell all my remaining possessions and move to a new city in order to try and find employment.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats the worst part of having a Birthday on Feb. 29th? You only get facebook birthday wishes every 4 years.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What;s worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

The worst part of waking up, Is no Folgers in your cup.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's pink and fluffy? A feather duster.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A: knock knock B: who's there A:come in B:come in who?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks in the a bar Now he has 3 missing teeth

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

a turtle walks into a bar and eats everyone

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A physician, an engineer, and an attorney were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions represented. But neither one of them knew.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There are two gingerbread men in an oven and the one says " it's hot in here" the other says "holy crap it's a talking cookie!!!!!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why was the woman out of the kitchen? She was at her mothers funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you do when you see a mentally challenged kid in a wheelchair? Walk up and offer to push him, as you should since he probably hasn't had a lot of friends in his lifetime.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock Knock Whos there? John John Who Tic Tic BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM

thumb_up thumb_down +7

i got angry and i was like " i really want to kick someone" ,my friend was on the ground and shes like "you can kick me" ,and i'm like "REALLY" ,then i kicked her really hard and she cried...

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

There are 100 men enjoying a cruise to celebrate an important contract going through at their place of employment. The boat then suffers a major malfunction and tragically sinks to the bottom of the ocean, miles from any land masses. Not a single man died, how is this possible? They all used the lifeboats supplied on the boat and followed the standard procedure to deal with such a crisis.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops