Why did the chiken cross the road? It didn't, J-walking is against the law.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your mom is so ugly, that her job prospects are affected negatively, and your family suffers as a consequence.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -7

One day, Little Timmy asked his mother this question, "Mommy, why are boys and girls different?" She responded, "You're adopted and Santa Claus is dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +25

As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Why was the black man so good at basketball? Because he practiced.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than a tree getting cut down? This joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Whos there Not Susie What did Susie get for Christmas? I don't know , she never opened it. Who high fived Susie? No one Why did Susie die? She got shot in the face

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whats worse then getting stabbed in the trachea by a aids infected knife? getting pounded anally by satan

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock, Knock! Cum inside ;;)

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your mother is so fat that she got diabetes and later died of an unrelated illness.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Wishing to teach his donkey not to eat, a pedant did not offer him any food. When the donkey died of hunger, he said: ‘I’ve had a great loss. Just when he had learned not to eat, he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask him to lower the volume a bit and maybe also play a quieter tune.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

thumb_up thumb_down +74

A criminal walks into a bar, and shoots the bartender and has his way with the waitress. Its his bar now.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Im Jackson Sinclair and Me and Carter Weeks-69;)

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are brown Violets are brown who the hell took a shit in my garden?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the teenager take a shower? Because she was brutally raped by a serial rapist and felt dirty. Unfortunately for her, she was unaware that she was washing off the prints from her body and the rapist was never found

thumb_up thumb_down +7

-What do you get when you graph the division of x by the square root of 69? - I don't know, what? -I was asking you, as my family's low economic status hinders my ability to buy a graphing calculator.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's creepy about a loving couple having sex? I made them do it.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a dog with no wings? A dog

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops