Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Why do I have a Virtual Boy?

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a woman gives birth at the hospital in china and then the doctor comes in and says doctor- i have good news and bad news for your baby mother-what is it doctor- bad or good mother-bad doctor-the bad news is that the baby is a girl and the good news is that your baby has cancer

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THE GAME

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What's worse than getting bit by a spider? getting bit by two spiders What's worse than getting bit by two spiders? getting raped What's worse than getting raped? a butterfly landing on you

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A Korean, a Japanese, a Muslim, a Christian, a Jew, a Chinese and a member of Isis are enjoying a friendly game of poker. The Korean man kills everyone because he has a life threatening illness that prevents him from using his brain. The worst news though was that the he lost the game of poker.

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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Q: what did Timmy get for his 8th birthday A: killed MR

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Q. What's funnier than an anti-joke? A. Thousands of anti-jokes, compiled on a worldwide network.

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Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

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Q;what do you call a fish with two knees and personally HANDS out JOBS A: a blowfish

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cut it out ..but i dont have a scissor

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Why did the man go to sleep at 9:30? Because his mom told him to

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Q. Did you hear about the gay guy that's on the patch? A. yeah, that's a really big step, quitting smoking is tough

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What did the black man get for Kwanza? AIDS

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What did the white man say to the black man? We both deserve to be treated as equals although we are from much different cultural backgrounds.

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Why did Johnny disappear? He was sucked into a vacuum toilet on an air jet.

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Why did the guy go to the store? He really doesn't want you to know every detail of his life.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am colorblind because Iam a dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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