Chuck Norris' punch is so powerful that is falls on the downward slope of the bell curve for punch force of adult males.

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the kid drop his sandwich? his hand was cut off

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How does Bob Marley like his donuts? He doesn't, he tragically died of melanoma in 1981.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Yo mama so stupid She took in part of an experiment and was indeed proclaimed stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's Black white and red all over? Half a penguin

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How does a Welshman take a shit? Like anyone other human being does.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is scary? Obama might get reelected.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Once Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a guy so hard that he got a large bruise.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A blonde walks into a bar. Shes now in a coma.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was the black man in prison? He was wrongly accused of a felony and the jury by whom he was tried was largely racist.

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

If a tree falls in a forest and only one women is there to hear it, does i make a sound? Trick question: there's no forests in kitchens.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what did the farmer say to the cowgirl that made her positive that she had a weird laugh? you have a weird laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Jimmy

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is brown and woody? Brown wood.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man met a genie that granted him three wishes. I wish I could fly. The genie gave him a plane ticket. No, I want to really fly for real! The genie put him inside a plane. Okay, I wish I was unable to die then! The genie killed him. Moral: Not every story needs to make a fucking sense.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Chuck Norris didn't rape yo mama, yo mama raped chuck norris!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what did the boy with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for easter AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -1

An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops