What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

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Your mother is so fat she has trouble finding clothes in her size.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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What made parashoot paint's so uncool? MC Hammer.

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why was the boy sad because he had a cat stapled to his face

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It followed a trail of bird feed that was strewn across the street.

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What did Valerie get for her birthday? Nothing. Because no one loves her

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Math teacher: I have 5 bottles in one hand, and 6 in the other. What do I have? Student: A drinking problem. _._._

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What's the difference between Nelly and Common? One of them is an artist and one of them is a businessman.

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A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ouch!" Later that day, the man's daughter takes him to the doctor because he's acting strangely. The doctor gives him an MRI and the daughter is told that her father sustained severe brain damage from the injury. Now the daughter has to juggle taking care of her father, taking care of a child she bore from a drunken one-night stand, and recovering from her meth addiction at a rehab facility, all while making minimum wage at her dead end job. Eventually she hangs herself, leaving her father and child to slowly die on their own.

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How do you please a black person? Shower him with love and affection.

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roses are brown violets are brown, who took a shit in my garden

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Why do dead babies go to funerals? They don't.

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Q: What is black and can't support a family? A: A bowling ball

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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Why couldn't Jimmy go bowling with the rest of his friends? His parents shot him.

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what is the only thing in the world that can pick up 1000 jews at once? A vacuum cleaner

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roses are red violets are blue pornhub is down ya mums facebook will do

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Have you seen Andrea Bocelli's new house? No. He hasn't either.

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What happenes if you put an elephant in the fridge? Nothing, it wouldnt fit.

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troll lololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol.olo90ololol.o.ool.olololol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.o.o.lol.ol.ol.ol.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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sex with dead people. they can't say no;)

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why did the grandmom make rollerblades into cookies? because she had dementia

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A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, it hurts when i poke my leg like this!" The doctor says,"Mm yes, it seems you have taken an arrow to the knee. You'll never walk again."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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