What's the difference between a pile of bricks and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of bricks in my basement.

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how many milkshakes does it take to bring all the boys to the yard?

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What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? An ambulance.

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What did the avocado say to the person? I can't talk

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What do you get when you cross a blonde with a dinosaur? Beastiality

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what's grosser then 1000 babies stapled to a tree?? 1 baby stapled to 1000 trees

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Q.whats the differecne between a bicycle? A. orange,...a vest dont got no sleeves.

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What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese lady order a cheeseburger? A: Because it wasn't on the menu

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what do you call a man that looks like will ferrel? jim

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

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How much does a polar bear weight? The average male polar bear weights about 1500 lbs (680 kg)

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What was the last thing going through the man's mind who cleans the 90th floor windows on the World Trade Center on 9/11? The 91st floor.

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What hurts more than a papercut? A chainsaw between your legs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Traffic was too backed-up so the chicken took a different route.

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What did the cat say to the bird? Nothing. It's a cat.

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How do u know that your obese ? People stare at you

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's funnier than throwing a baby off a bridge? Everything, if you think that's funny, you're a terrible person.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Q: Why did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

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What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops