What is worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? F*cking midgets

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What does a man want more than sex? Nothing.

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how do you make a plummer cry? you spell PLUMBER wrong

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How many rednecks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three.

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how did the little girl get to heaven? she died.

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A bartender walks into a bar. It's his shift.

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whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? the wheelchair

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A van drives into a car.

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because he got hit by a fridge. Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she got hit by a fridge. Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because it had no face.

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What did one dog say to the other dog? Nobody knows as humans are unable to understand the way dogs communicate.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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What did the man say to the woman before he had sex with her? "May I have sex with you, please?"

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What do you get if you cross a football with Theo Walcott? A goal kick.

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Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

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Why did the catholic priest go to jail He was a paedophile

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your mom is so fat that she should probably try a deit in the neer future.

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump!

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A man walks into a bar and says "ouch". The nearby patrons ask him what is ailing him.

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What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Some wild chickens have regular seasonal migration patterns that might require them to cross a road while traveling south. Wild chicken movements include those made in response to changes in food availability, habitat or weather.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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