roses are brown, violets are brown, who the hell sh** on my garden?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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You tell me. I have amnesia.

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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Why the kid fall of his bike? He got hit by a fridge.

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What's worse than your mom finding out she has AIDS? After she found out she had AIDS she stormed out of the hospital and got run over by a bus.

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Q.What happens when you win a trophy? A. You don't, there is always someone better than you.

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Q:What do you call a wizard who flies? A: A flying wizard.

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A deaf man sits down puts on his headphones presses play on his ipod starts to nod his head and realises what he has just done

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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Whats small, red and white, and would kill you if shot out of a cannon? A decapitated baby

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Why did the genie not grant the man his 3 wishes? Genies don't exist, only vampires live in lamps.

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A: Where does a cow go on the weekends? B: To the mooooovies? A: No, to the slaughterhouse.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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Do you want to hear some bad news? My wife just died Do you want to hear some good news? I'm single

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Knock knock Who's there? Labrinth Come in

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings

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I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

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Whos allergic to BS You R! :D

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What happens when you throw a cricket bat at a blonde? She is hurt and reports you to the police for anti-social behaviour.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why, but I was standing on the other side of the road and I took it home and mamed the chicken with a powerdrill.

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Why were corners made? For crying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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