Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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here is a good joke... your moms a bitch END OF STORY!

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why did the chicken cross the road i hate it when people ask questions they already know the answer to

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. She's already been told twice.

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A man has aids. He has plenty of sexual partners and they all contract the disease.

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Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? A. It will Wet or Sink, as simple as that.

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What is the difference between a rat and an italian? nothing.

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You: Why did hitler go to hell? Them: Why? You: You're an idiot.

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A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? You wouldn't be able to count them if it were dark.

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Whats red and smells like black paint Red paint

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Knock Knock Come in Come in who? Come in...wait what?

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I TOOK A STEAMING SHIT ON YOUR MOM

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ass.

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How do you make a dog hate you for the rest of its life? Steal its bone and beheaded it.

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what's the difference between you and a yack one is a spitting idiot and the other one is a camel

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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What did suzie do when she dropped her cookie? She died because it was secretly a bomb

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roses are red violets are blue your friend is a scumbag and so are you

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Why did the Mexican jump the fence? Because he didn't feel like walking around the house to the side where the gate was to get out of the backyard

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sean punches bryce in the face, sean then says ow you just punched me in the face. that hurt

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Connor "Rusty" McLeod

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My name is actually Nero by the way, or Neron, which means black, have you ever played Mortal Kombat? There is a character there Named Erron Black, which is a total pun on that, there is also a character named Boraicho which drinks constantly while Borracho means drunkard in Spanish so yeah, Erron Black is simply an anagram for Nero Black, or rather Neron Black... Anyway, now that we got your brain nice and confused, I can increase the effect with OVER NINE THOUSAND! So your pictures "remastered" on photoshop or something?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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