What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

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How do you make someone think your wierd? Pretend to be a panda.

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Why do you do when a homeless man asks you for money Scream bicycle and then run

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roses are red violets are blue i took your cup to the bathroom ...thats not really apple juice:)

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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How do you get a blonde to drown herself? Isolate her in an aqueous environment

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GEORGE LOPEZ SUCKS

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because the paint used on their faces makes the extra terrestrials leery of lead poisoning.

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When practicing the art of origami and the berrilium dialates, how many quince pies does it take to calculate a tree? Tricycle

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whats black, white, and bloody all over? i don't know, but we should stop making jokes and help it already.

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What do you call an Englishman, an Irishman and a Chineseman playing football? 3 friends playing their favourite sport.

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What's meaty and has a poof? A meatball with a bubble.

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A coach walks into the team dressing room at halftime; his team is down 42-0. He screams at the players, "You guys are playing like a bunch of grannies. No offense"

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There was an old man from Limerick. He was of scottish ancestry and nearing his 76th birthday.

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Frontbut-

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how do u fit 20 jews in a car? 2 in the front and 20 in the ashtray

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

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What happened to the twins? 9/11

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What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

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What's 9+10=? 19

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roses are green violets are green i was drunk last night

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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