Chuck Norris farted and... several people looked around uncomfortably, not knowing how to react to the embarrassing situation.

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What does it mean if you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars? You both have five dollars

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how do you stop a black man from drowning take your foot off his head

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What is black and blue and red all over? Rihanna

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why are these jokes so funny? why are u so fat bitch

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What did the children say when the magician pulled a rabbit out of his hat? Nothing, but the parents called Animal Control, and the magician was imprisoned after a dog-fighting ring was discovered in Michael Vick's estate.

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Why was the prostitute unsuccessful? because she had no vagina

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

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Why can't Lake Mossman find his penis? Because he's a fat ass, and he doesn't have any arms.

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How many owls can you fit in a bath tub?

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, im a dog

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What did the father say to his gay son? "Finish your homework."

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A blond walks into McDonalds. She orders and leaves.

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jack and jill climbed up the hill but they were bagels

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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what did the apple say to the peer... I taste better !!

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an englishman,scotsman,and irishman walk into a bar the englishman says " a pint of lager please" "that will be 10pounds , says the barman "Im not paying that , ill see you in court" says the englishman . The same thing happens , in turn to the scotsman, and irishman ,and a summons is issued. In court the jugde says "why are you charging drinks too dear?" the barman says "im not, im selling them to a englishman ,scotsman, and a irishman..

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A woman walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, my water just broke." The doctor replies "Get off my carpet."

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Yo momma so hot she won a beauty contest and was later shot and killed by the jealous losers

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Happy Monday!

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What did the cat say to the dog? Nofin Eejit.

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On Tuesday mornings at 7:32 a.m., what is the square root of 31? I don't know, because it would be an irrational number of which is not possible to calculate without the aid of a calculator. However, the date and time would not affect the answer.

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Why do black people love kool aid? It is cools them down on a warm summer day and it tastes great! OHHHH YEAAAAHHHHH

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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