How do you kill a blonde? By inactivating major functions in the body, for example cutting off the blood supply to the brain.

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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What is invisible, weighs 332 pounds, runs 67.3 mph, is green, and is made by Jews in China. Nothing, if something is invisible, then it cannot reflect green light, therefore it cannot be green.

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A giant meteor will hit the earth tomorrow.What do you do? Tell everyone I told you so.

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Your momma is so black that she probably has ancestors indigenous to Africa.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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When life gives you lemons, find someone with a papercut.

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Robert Dupra getting a girlfriend.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume

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what do you call a deer with no eyes? a deer...

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Why was the Africanan boy hungry? Because food is hard to come by in Africa.

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melons are berries, tomatoes are fruit, being a smart-ass isn't that good.

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A Vietnam war veteran accidentally goes to a Vietnamese concert and says, "I could take a lot of them down with me."

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What happened to the man who bought his son a birthday gift? He eventually was robbed and shot in the face

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it. How do you make it stop crying? You throw another brick at it.

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What's red and invisible? No Tomatoes

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? BECAUSE SHE WAS A BITCH!

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What's funnier than 24? 25

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What's the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair

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Once Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a guy so hard that he got a large bruise.

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A man with AIDS walks into a bar, what does he say? I have AIDS

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If life throws you lemons, you might be dislexic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops