What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a shiny new Cadillac? I don't have a shiny new Cadillac in my garage.

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A student exclaimed "This test is a piece of cake!" He ate it.

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Why did the man name his son David? He didn't. It was his wife's choice.

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josh roberts goes into churches and forces them to listen and go by his religious opinion until they cry

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what did the parapelegic (limbless) kid get for his birthday? Heart failure

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. (do you get it cause the robot has no arms)

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What did the boy with no arms get in his Christmas card? We don't know, he's yet to open it.

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what do you get with a bulldog and a shi-tzhu 2 dogs.

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ok everybody to make this more simple we all have to line up alphabetically by height.

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You should really respect vegetables more. They rock. They're all like... AAAHH!!!... and I'm all like... DUDE! THAT'S SO INCREDIBLY RANDOM!... and seriously, you should respect da veggies!

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How many pencils does it take to get an A on a test? Actually it takes knowledge.

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What did the scuba diver say to his partner when he got stuck in some seaweed. Something that sort of sounded like glug, or maybe blub, or some other sound you would hear trying to talk underwater.

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Why couldn't Jimmy run in the track race? Because he has been paralyzed since he was 3, due to a horrible accident

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What's the difference between a guy who sees the glass half empty and a guy who sees the glass half full? The first guy is happier because his tables tip more than the second guy's.

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What was Helen Keller's favorite activity? fingering herself...

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If your riding a jet ski and the wheels fall off Then how many pancakes does it take to Cover a dog house Purple because ice cream doesn't have Any bones

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What do chickens, pictures and babies have in common? Nothing.

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why did the black man apply for a job at kfc? His family was in debt after the loss of his father.

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Why do black people like fried chicken? There's cocaine inside.

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Large 4

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Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

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What did the white man say to the black bartender? I'll have a pint please.

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Why did the chicken walk into Mordor? It didn't. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

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Two chairs were sitting there. One chair says "Could you pass me that cup?" The other chair says "Oh my God a talking chair!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops