What did the whale do when he was angry? He beached himself, causing a major ecological disaster and costing the beach community thousands of dollars to return him to the water.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

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What's the difference between a brick and Ricky? A brick gets laid and has a higher iq

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Why God isn't a woman? Because Moses wouldn't last it 40 days on the mountain if that was true. And he also wouldn't come back with only 10 rules.

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How long can penguins hold their breath underwater? Long enough for you to eat a baby and then cover for it.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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What do you call a man with no arms? A cripple.

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Nothing, fish can't talk and it died on impact.

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A Japanese man, a Canadian man and a French woman walk into a bar. They do not converse because they don't speak the same language.

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What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because due to the crashing economy he feels the need tom travel far distanced for work and food to support his growing family, this causes him to take dangerous routes of travel through hazardous areas with fast moving automobiles that potential have the chance to kill or severely Maine the distressed chicken. Not only does he have to cross these roads twice a day he is also under the added pressure of many millions of people questions why he takes such chivalrous actions to save the his future descent and the steep decline in the population of chicken.

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A young man walks into a bar. A complicated chain of events leads to him marrying the owner's second cousin's half-niece-in-law.

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how does a zookeeper build a snowman. same as everyone else

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a terrible and painful death on impact.

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Q:Why did the boy drop his icecream? A: His arm was chopped off by a ninja

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What did the autistic child say to the doctor? Nothing. His condition is so severe that he is mute and may never talk for the rest of his life.

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Stevie wonder walks across the road without looking both ways.

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a guy walks down a street when he sees a bomb he walks away

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Who's fat? Holly Davis.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm only 13 so if you have sex with me it's illegal.

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How do you get a one armed man to fall out of a tree? Wave.

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What do you call an German with a knife in his leg ? An ambulance as he has a serious leg wound and will soon die of blood loss

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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