Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +231

B==========D-------------------------- im pissin man! god!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

There's a American, Mexican, and a Canadian stranded in the desert. They couldn't find any food, water, and shelter. They were all really hungry and thirsty. Later that day the Mexican dies from a very bad infection on his neck.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

You know why Michael J. Fox makes really good milkshakes? ... because he uses the best ingredients.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,514

What do you call 12 ghosts? A bus accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Have you noticed when you see geese flying and they're in a V pattern, often one side will be longer than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side.

thumb_up thumb_down +444

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Your mom is so ugly that she often finds it difficult attracting members of the opposite sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,654

What is big, white and hairy A refrigerator, I lied about the hair

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why does the octopus have no friends? because they're anti social by nature

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

24

thumb_up thumb_down +229

what worse then stepping on a lego? watching your son kill your wife

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A Muslim walked into a bomb shop. Turns out he was in the wrong store so he left and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,786

What do you call an arab with a shemagh on his head and a gun A man who is concerned for his wellbeing and family

thumb_up thumb_down -23

If Johnny has 4 dollars and Clarissa has 7 dollars, how many dollars do they have all together? 11 dollars Knock knock Who's There? Johnny Johnny who? Johnny and Clarrisa, all together we have 11 dollars.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between a raccoon and a bear? One's a raccoon, the other's a bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,805

I called your friend gay and he hit me with his fist because he was angry at me for using gay in a derogatory way.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do get when you cross a truck and a cliff? Flames.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what do you call a grammatically incorrect horse? An horse

thumb_up thumb_down +1,803

My bologna has a first name It's O-S-C-A-R... My bologna has a second name It's M-A-Y-E-R... Oscar and Mayer were the names of the pig and the cow that were slaughtered and subsequently processed into the bologna I am eating.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops