What is blue and angry? Mr Johnston wearing his green dress. I'm colour blind but he came round to my way of thinking in the end.

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"You two form fours while I get the other one"

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? One is a popular Italian food and the other is a human being.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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Why did the chicken sneeze? Because someone put pepper on its nose.

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Hehe 9/11 Funny Stuff If you know what I mean!!

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Two nerds walk into a bar. The effects of alcohol do not discriminate based upon the social status of said consumer.

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What do you call a guy who set's pancakes on fire? Mentally confused, and in need of a psychiatrist.

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What do you call a vehicle has 56 wheels? Anything you want, because it hasn't been invented yet.

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Im taking a shit right now.

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Two nuns are in a bathtub, one nun turns to the other and says "where's the soap". The other nun replies "it does, doesn't it".

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im gay

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Your Mother is so kind that when I see her I say hello and ask her how she has been

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Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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Yo mamma so fat that when she gets in bed she gets sleepy

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Why did the baby crawl onto the road? because a sick bastard put a bottle of milk there knowing that a bus would be going through that route soon.

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I once saw a picture of a man who was bloodily murdered with his testicles replacing his eyes. then i had a nightmare, that was completely unrelated

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I'm so hungry I could eat a horse and chase the jockey.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? A warm meal thanks to a Charity organization.

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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What's got two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

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Roses are red violets are blue make me a sandwhich so i can eat it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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