Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea? No one, its physically impossible to live in a fruit and breathe under water

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What stands on the corner oof every major city at night? A cop

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Roses are blue Violets are red I shot your valentine Straight in the head

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What's the difference between a black girl and a white girl? Nipple color

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the young boy get for christmas? Parental divorce

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Q: Knock knock Q: Who's there? A: Not Suzie

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Q: Where was Moses when the lights went out. A: In the dark.

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How old are you? 7

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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Why was the asian boy made fun of in the locker room? Because of the nipple piercing he had.

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what did you call a bench full of white guys? The NBA

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." Then there is silence and a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone the guy says "I shot in the air and my friend heard it and moved. I think he's still alive." The operator says "Good that means he's still breathing and he's not dead."

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What did the clerk say and do when he was givng out free food What he did:Gave them What he said:"If you want to get this free, pay $5.00"

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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When life gives you cancer, make cancerade.

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What is the definition of a "crying shame"? Very similar to the definition of a shame, but moreso.

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pickle sniffer

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Holy sh** a talking muffin!!!

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How can you kill a blonde? Hack her to bits.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the other ____?

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Boy 1: Hey do you want my last chewing gum? Boy 2: Yeah please! Boy 1: Same. The boy continues to eat the chewing gum and finishes his shit wandering why the boy walked into the same cubicle as him.

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Why are black guys so tall? Because their knee grows

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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