How do you make Bill Gates poor? You take all of his money

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Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

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Wanna hear a joke? The 19th amendment

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How can you tell if there is an idiot at a dogfight? When someone pits a Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a moron at a dogfight? When someone BETS on the Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a cheater at a dogfight? When the victory goes to the Chihuahua.

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I LIKE TRAINS

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come home from camp.

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well, it's really nice.

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Why can't penguins fly? ......It is against their evolutionary state.

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i dont like chris

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eloise dey.

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A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are trapped on a desert island. As they investigate the island to find food and shelter they find a magic lamp. Together they rub the lamp and sure enough a genie appears and tells them he will grant each of them a single wish. The brunette goes first and wishes to be back home. The genie claps his hands and she appears in her house, where her husband and children are waiting for her. She is happy that her ordeal is behind her and to see her loved ones. The redhead goes next and also wishes to be back home. The genie claps his hands and she appears in her house. She is not married and has no kids, but she has 2 cats. She is happy to be through her ordeal and to see her beloved pets. The blonde went last and also wished to be sent home. The genie clapped his hands and she appeared back in her house. She wasn't married, and had no kids or pets, but she was still happy that her ordeal was over.

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My grandpa asked me a very important question right before he kicked the bucket. Grandpa: Son, how far do you think I could kick this bucket?

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What do you all a dead black man? A corpse.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1Kuo-n7Du0

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Why was Sally rolling in the grass? She was on fire.

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If TACOS are Mexican PASTA is Italian HAMBURGER is American Then what is pizza???..... Dough, Cheese and Sauce Just Kidding, that was bad..... Turtles..... :D

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What do you call a girl with ADD and too much free time? Me

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Why did Dave buy a playstation? Because he wanted one.

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What's white and capable of flash photography? A pony, I lied about the photography.

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What did the boy say to the ghost wearing a banana outfit? Holy crap! A ghost!

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why did the man get arrested? because he was a thief, and thieving is completely unacceptable in a civilised society

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What's worse than getting a paper cut? Getting shot in the face.

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Yo mama is so ugly that she won an award for that

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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