How do you stop a baby from crying? Put it in the microwave

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Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live one at the bottom.

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Tim tebow is the anti christ

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What did the girl say when she was getting raped? "Stop, you're hurting me."

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Doctor, I keep believing I am stuck in the Matrix! Oh thats common, you know existencial crisis and so on but we got medications, you want the blue or the red pill?

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What did God say to the crying man? God doesn't exist.

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How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

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Why did the kid lose his nose? because his brother chopped it off with an axe.

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A peice of dust floats into a bar. Its a peice of dust so no one notices it.

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A black person tans and starts to peel, what do you get? A white person.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like ass, And no one loves you!

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did Michael Jackson touch children ? yes of course. otherwise he would have been an absolutely terrible father

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty jumped off and committed suicide.

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Knock knock! Go away. I'm busy masturbating, and it would be extremely awkward if you were to entire my residence at this time. Please return at a later hour.

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Why was six afraid of seven. It wasnt because numbers cant possible show emotions. I

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What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, the orphanage did not have sufficient funds to give everyone a present because they did not want to how favoritism because the orphans are already sad enough and te orphanage does not want the orphans killing them selves

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Why did the fish fly It didn't

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When geese fly south, why is one side of the V usually longer than the other? There are more geese on that side.

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What do you call a mexican working at Taco Bell? An intelligent young man who recently graduated from high school, but due to his family's lack of money, he cannot pay for college, which is one of the reason's why he is working. He also needs money becuase he has a child on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection while having intoxicated relations with his girlfriend. I wish him the best of luck!

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No.

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Three guys walk into a bar. Soon after another man tries to walk in, but is stopped by the bouncers because the bar was at capacity.

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On a scale of 1 to Lord Voldemort, how awkward would you say your hugs are?

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Why did the plane full of Arabs crash? One of The engines failed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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