Q. How many infants does it take to paint a wall? A. Depends how hard you throw them...

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What do you call a fat, ugly kid? An unloved child.

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knock knock. whos there? ............... stupid kids

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There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

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Today if my birthday, and I got given the Anti Joke Book! Happiness!

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Your mom is so fat, she had liposuction.

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What's worse than having amnesia? I don't remember.

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Where did sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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Spinabifita

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

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What do a grape and an elephant have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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Eating food: Ugh disgusting! Taking a dump later: THIS IS DELICIOUS! Man, you are doing it wrong... Waterworld was a pretty dry movie, I mean when are they gonna start making movies with a bit of wet humor for a change? SERIOUSLY BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY I AM NOT SERIOUS!

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There once was a man from Peru Who fell asleep in a canoe He got a slight case of sunburn which improved later after applying some ointment.

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Dead girls can't say no.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An Afronaut

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Lean a ladder against the tree and reassure them if they are apprehensive.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A drum set.

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Why did the Taxi crash? The cab driver was trying to remove the frog stapled to his face.

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What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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A fat man orders a pizza. Then after eating it, he gets a eart attack due to his high cholesterol and lack of exercise

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You:why did the kid get a massage? Guest:Why? You:Cuz he wanted one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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