A man accidentally chops his thumb off while preparing his dinner for the night. He immediately calls an ambulance and has his thumb preserved which is later reattached back onto his hand. He then continues his dream career as a solo pianist.

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"You go, Glen Coco" -Mean Girls, 2004

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What do you call a human with no eye? A Human.

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Why was the black man at the back of the bus... Cause all the other seats were taken

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What is hotter than a lightbulb. The Sun.

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Q:Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree A: No

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What did the black man say when a blond walked into the bar? " Hi Molly"

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a bowling ball? You can't pick up a bowling ball with a pitchfork.

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Why was the Jewish man in jail? He lit a local CVS on fire.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks, and goes home an hour or so later.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to my house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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What do a grape and an elephant have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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Two people on a boat, Pete and Repete. Pete fell off and Repete radioed the Coast Guard, who sadly got there just in time to watch him drown to his death.

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What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

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Three women are sitting in a bar. One is drinking beer, one is drinking wine and one is drinking vodka. Which one is the widow? The one whose husband is dead.

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brett is a dick

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Why did the asian lady buy the large shirt instead of the medium? Because the medium didn't fit

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Noses are red, Lips are blue, I have hypothermia, So do you.

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What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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Why did sam and jolanda drop their pudding? They got hit by a flying tree.

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why did annie fall of the swing? she had no arms.. knock knock who's there? not annie.

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How did the baby die? In a very sad and tragic car accident.

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Robin, get in the car, please.

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Why did the jew break his iPhone? He dropped it when i shot him in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops