What do you call a wine-o? A Alco-colic.

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tommy is retared

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how do you get lady gaga to wake up in the morning? Hit her with a brick

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One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

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What did Billy say to Timmy? Timmy! I'm so sorry. *Sniffles* I didn't mean to throw the fork that hard. Rest in peace Timmy...

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Why did the terminal cancer patient die? Because he fell of the stairs with his wheelchair.

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Alan: My Grandfather has a jacket made from jews that he killed while he was in the SS. James: Really? Alan: No, I'm Korean. My Grandfather would not be allowing into the SS.

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whats more embarissing rhan being raped by a squirel? Being a 40 year old virgin working at mcdonalds

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Q:How come we have a black man in th white house? A: because we elected him

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What do you call a Jew with 20 Pounds of Pennies? A rich man

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Get some flipping new jokes people

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What Happens when you kill a dragon? Nothing, there not real.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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What's blue and can't have sex? A blueberry

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Why, if you are blending a baby, should you put it in feet first? So you can look in to it's eyes when masturbating.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has been sexually abusing 6 for all his life

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Lebron James in the 4th quarter.

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What's green, red, and goes fifty miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

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Why was the Black man Running? Because he was trying to get in shape for the Olympics.

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A man throws a penny off of a cliff. He is now one cent poorer

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The hooker walks into a bar wearing a vest and tight denim shorts. A drunken man proceeds in trying to have his way with her. He is thrown out for sexual mis-conduct and is currently waiting for his court date.

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What did the alphabetical soup spell for little Bobby? U gOt SUzie prEgnant ....... aGaiN

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What's the difference between an elephant and a Jew. The elephant has elephant cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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