what did the Nazi say to the Jew? I hate you

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Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road? it said WALK.

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Why didn't the dog want to cross the road? there was a flea market on the other side.

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Two Cows are knitting soda water in a lightbulb. One of them said: Talking about milk, what time is it? The other pulls out a thermometer, looked at it and said: Wednesday.

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The President, the Pope, and a small child are in a plane when the pilot announces that they are about to crash. The plane hits the ocean. They quickly remember that there is a life jacket under their seats and they promptly put it on, but wait to inflate it (by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs) it until after exiting the cabin.

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Who has no penis Religious Believers

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What do you call Batman and Robin after they have been run over by a car? Dead.

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A straight guy, a straight girl and a bisexual guy walk into a bar. The bisexual guy is twice as likely to find a partner from a purely statistical point of view.

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A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital due to a large aneurysm that has burst in his brain because he walked into the bar.

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What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

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What happens when Chuck Norris jumps in the air? He lands.

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What did the loser say to the winner? Good game

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Justin Bieber

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Why do I have a Virtual Boy?

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman

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Q: Why didn't Jane cross the road? A: Because Jane is a figment of my imagination and therefore has neither the physical capability to cross this so called "road" nor the initiatory motivation to do so...

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A man with glasses and a cane walks out if a clothing store and accidentally bumps into a woman, knocking his hat off "Can't you watch where you're going?" the woman asks. The man then slaps her, knocking her to the ground. He picks up his new designer fedora, and drives off in his $90,000 Cadillac. The woman, after dusting herself off, gets the guy's plates, convinces a few witnesses to testify against the man, and informs the authorities of an assault. He was later arrested for assault as well as pimping and soliciting sex. He is found guilty in a court of law and is sentenced to 2-5 years in prison, and is doled a hefty fine.

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WHO IS A CHIKEN???????????? I AM do you got a problem with that!!!!!!

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What starts with S and end in H-I-T? shit.

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what would happen if every overweight person in america jumped at the same time? they would all get a little exercise.

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What's the difference between working at Mc Donalds and working as a hooker? A hooker gets paid more.

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How do you make a momma bird not fly back to its nest? Burn it down!!

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Chuck Norris has normal human strength.

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What happened the magic tractor? It turned into the feild!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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