What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

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It's long!

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Adolf Hitler was a humanitarian.

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Why did Osama bin Laden cross the road? To get shot in the face.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocausts.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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Wh did Steve Jobs invent the iPhone? Because he was smart.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

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A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

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What do you call a woman who has huge breasts? Sarah, for instance.

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A hat fell into the Indian Ocean. What happened to the hat? It got wet

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what do u call a turtle with no shell? Larry

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Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

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A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

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Knock Knock Who's There Nobody Nobody Who?

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What's the opposite of stupid? diputs

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple??? You... Lol jk no there could be alot of things like getting raped, the holocaust, me killing your children i mean someone killing your children. Because if it was me you would know it was me and file a report and i would be arrested and be sent to jail. And in jail i would try my hardest to stay alive brcause if i died that would suck. I would also try not to drop the soap beacuse i might get rapped by some prisib mate, also the floors are quite dirty and that would guve me any type of bacteirial infection like the stupid yeats infection or maby the persob who takes it from me when i finnish would get aids cause it dropped on the floor and who knows were it was. Then he would die from aids and his wife and or kids would be sad and set up a funeral were a preist would stand in akward silence cause the guy murderd the preists father so he wouldnt be mean an ruin the funeral but he wouldnt say anything nice. But after the funeral the preist would go back home and smoke a cigarette because he has started an unhealthy habbit just like millions of people around the world. When will people learn that it kills you faster than cancer well some cancers are quite quick and painless like a head tumor. But most tumors are able to be saved because the doctors are smart these days coming from yale or havord universitys and what not. Most peopel want to take the easy way out by just working at kinkos or wallmart. Both jobs are shit wich is why im probably going to go there cause no one else will except me in there offices or departments. I think its the fact i look like a pedofile trying to kill babys but you know how life is short and difficult to control but you have one life why waste it. Stupid emo kids trying to cut emselfs and shoot themselfs so they dont have to deal with theirs or their partners periods because the other day coming back from mc donalds this guy almost hit me with his car and threw a cup at me for some strange reason but hey not my problem unless he was my first victim?...... Lol jk i have never killed anyone and im not that creapy... Awks POTATO!!!

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Your momma's so ugly that she was worried that she would never marry anyone.

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why were the girls confused? they were in a logic class and couldn't seem to find the irrationality chapter in the book

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your mom is so fat jesus couldnt even lift her spirits

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What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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