Me: Ask my if I'm a secret agent. You: Are you a secret agent? Me: I cannot disclose that information.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is white black and Chinese A panda

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Hello

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats the difference between a black an white guy? They have different skin tones

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you make a tree angry Overall trees have no sense of emotion therefore it is impossible to anger a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's green and runs through the forest? - A pack of cucumbers. What's wrong with that? - Cucumbers aren't pack animals.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Two men walked into a bar, the third followed close behind.

thumb_up thumb_down

Person 1: *sneeze Person 2: bless you Person 1: I'm jewish. They never spoke again.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the lawyer name his daughter? Amanda.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the biggest lie you've ever told? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A man walks into a bar and wakes up in the hospital with a mild concussion.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

women are like buddhist shrines, you don't piss on them

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man and a woman meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Allmighty Genie vs Common douche Genie: I the allmighty Genie am at your command, I can grant you any three WISHES Common douche: Okay! I want to sit on my own lap Genie: Uh...Well...You uh sure you want that? I Uh... Wait a moment please... Wimp wins Genieous victory.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red Violets are blue this doesn't rhyme i like trains.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the boy cry? Because he was a crybaby

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how do you stop a train? you cant..

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What happened when a Blonde girl and a Ginger man have sex without a condom? The woman gets pregnant and then after about nine months the woman gives birth and the child grows up, when the child is adolescent it is able to reproduce and the process continues again.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

womens sports...

thumb_up thumb_down +32

how do u wake kesha up? Answer:set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I can't rhyme Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Hi poop!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is the difference between a Mexican and an a pile of crap? One is disgusting and unsanitary and the other is a pile of crap.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops