Why did I laugh at a joke? Cuz it was funny

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

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Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

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why couldnt the gay man marry??? cause he was dead.

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how do you get 100 dead babies in a bucket? use a blender. how do you get 100 dead babies out of a blender? Doritio's

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Q. Why Did The Blond Have The Biggest Boobs In The Third Grade? A. Because She's 21

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A Banana wrote this...

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? No seriously, I don't know because we've only just got electricity in our village.

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How did the Pollack die? Cardiac arrest.

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Knock knock. Who is there? The FBI. They have a warrant for your arrest.

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Immediately following his inauguration, Bush called Obama into the oval office for a private meeting and some words of advice. Bush and Obama shook hands as gentlemen do and then Bush asked if Obama wanted to hear a joke. Obama eagerly said yes, "Good..." Bush said, handing Obama a battered copy of the United States Constitution, "...the joke is in your hands", and with that Bush turned and left.

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ive got 99 problems and my diabetes is one of them

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Why did hitler kill all the Jews? He is racist

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was both deaf and blind and both senses are essential to a driver

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Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? cancer

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Q. Why can’t a Skeleton Lift Weights? A. He’s all bone & no muscle.

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Adolf Hitler.

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what happened when the sports mascot ate a bean and cheese burrito? he shat inside his costume and got fired.

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What do Whitney Houston and MTV have in common? They both REALLY died in the 90's.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "How'd you open the door?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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