What's worse than tieing a baby to a moving fan? Stopping it with a shovel

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, it's not that hard.

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What is the pirate's favorite letter? Z.

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Why could a fat man not do a barrel roll? He has already to many rolls.

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What do you call a dude dinosaur that's into other dude dinosaurs? A Bi-ceritops

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Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

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Why did the girl cross the road ? Because i was following her.

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A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

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why are you adopted? cause no one loved you.

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What did Santa do on Christmas? NOTHING HES NOT REAL!

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Daddy look! Roses! No son, those are rhododendrons... Daddy how do you spell rhododendrons? Uh... never mind son those are roses. So... Daddy how do you spell roses? Son, never mind that is a dog. So daddy how do you spell... SHUT UP! Moral: I put a spell on you.

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why did the girl scream when she got her tooth pulled? Because it hurt her.

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how many babies does it take o paint a house depends on how hard you throw them

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whats dead and gone your nanas cat

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If you put a bee in the freezer, it will get cold and fall asleep. After it’s asleep, put it in your mouth, but don’t eat it. Just let it sit there. It will get warm and wake up. Now you have a bee in your mouth.

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why did Samantha fall off the building? She was hit by a flying fridge dropped by a traffic helicopter.

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My Joke Is The Persons Below Me I I V

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My mother got hammered last night. We cried at her funeral.

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Six Jews get on a train. They all safely arrive at their locations.

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OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, she is rolling around on the street laughing hysterically. He asks her, "Why are you laughing? I just beat the crap out of your car!!" She is laughing too hard to respond, but between giggles he can make out, "While you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle!"

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Guess what? what. You guessed it!!

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what did the single guy with no arms get for christmas? porn.

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how do you kill a zombie? Zombies arent real.

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You're mama's SO stupid that when she applied to college, they were happy to help.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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