How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

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Why do reindeer pull Santa's Sleigh? Because Santa won't feed them if they don't.

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What did the podiatrist say to the proctologist? That athletes foot fungus is clearing up nicely.

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Why was the blonde girl stupid? She had suffered sever brain damage the previous month and was still recovering.

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What is the difference between a duck? One of it's legs are both the same!

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Yo momma so fat she has more chins the china town

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How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

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Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: I have no Idea what you would call cheese which isn't yours. However, it seems quite trivial to take time to discuss a nonsensical topic such as cheese which isn't yours.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Depending on the amount of saliva you produce each lick the answer to this question varies species to species.

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Sam alexander is also r8 g4y

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Q. want to hear a really funny joke? A. Fred Figglie-horn

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How do you make a baby be quiet when it is crying? slowly choke it to death

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What do you get when lettuce and oranges come together? I dont know, thats why I asked you.

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Q: What happens when you eat all the potatoes A: They are all gone

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What's the deal with airline food? It's nourishing matter that sustains life, provides energy, and promotes growth distributed by flight attendants.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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What do you get when you mix Fruit and Flys? Fries... or Flutes, depending on how many Flys your add.

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Moo! I'm a goat!

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese lady order a cheeseburger? A: Because it wasn't on the menu

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Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops