Whats the difference between me and a ghost? What? Ghost are not dolphins

thumb_up thumb_down -6

SQUID DOMINATION!!! Squids WILL Take Over the World!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Nico Bellec not shoot that one guy? Just joking, this is Grand Theft Auto 4 dummy.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why didn't the chef serve the black guy his food? Because he wasn't a waitor.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the wife leave her husband? Because they were having sexual differences and time restraints. The husband worked nightshifts as a nurse while the woman stayed home and took care of their child. The husband confessed he never wanted a child in the first place, and that having sexual intercourse with her didn't truly satisfy him.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the man drink a glass of water? Why not?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man walks into a Library.... And asks for a book.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What can you conclude about a black man in a mercedes? He has crack and car insurance.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why the mentally challenged man enter the bar? He's tired of being subject hate and criticism. He hates being the subject of jokes and being pointed at. He may not be able to tell you what 3x6 is, but he still has feelings. So because of all these inconsiderate people judging him, he now spends his days at the local bar, drowning his sorrows away in alcohol. I hope your happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why couldn't the Jeffersons adopt a black baby? Their fireplace was empty.

thumb_up thumb_down

Guy 1: Hey look under there Guy 2: Under what inanimate object that is physically visible and made up of atoms

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Elephant. Elephant who? Seatbelt.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did Billy fall down? Because his brain was replaced with a piece of toast.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Two muffins are in an oven. After ten minutes at 375 degrees, they were pulled out, allowed to cool, and eaten.

thumb_up thumb_down +877

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but your body rejected the transplant and you died.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

how do u piss of a polish man? rape his girlfriend

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you make a clown sad? You hit him in the face with axe

thumb_up thumb_down +34

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you stop a canadian from saying eh? Kill it...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

An airplane has 100 bricks on-board. If you drop one brick, how many bricks would be left? 99 -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put a giraffe inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, put the giraffe inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put an elephant inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put the elephant inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- The Lion King gathered all the animals from the land to a meeting. Everyone came, except one. Who was the animal? The elephant. He's still inside the refrigerator. ------------------------------------------------------------------- You want to cross a river, but you know that there are crocodiles there. There is no bridge, vines to swing from, etc. How do you cross the river? Swim across the river. The crocodiles are at the meeting with The Lion King. ------------------------------------------------------------------- So you swimmed over the river, but how did you still die? You were hit by the brick falling from the airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A white player in the NBA. Wait...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red violets are ponies I dont know what to say mircowave

thumb_up thumb_down +20

There was a girl who dumped her diver boyfriend because she couldn’t get him to give her a pearl out of an oyster. This particularly female has rather high expectations for her significant others.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops