Two peanuts were walking down the road. One was assaulted because they were walking in Detroit.

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Jack Oliver has a Bowl.

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Why didn't the cat eat its supper? It was dead.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am a bitch, and so are you!

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Knock knock. Who's there? ... Damn knick knockers.

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Why did the ckicken cross the road? to kiss my ass

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What happened to the dying kangaroo? He died What animal is not in the lion king? Kangaroo --why? Because he died...

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Why do people make fun of Laquesha? Because she's white.

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what did the orphan get for Christmas? a family

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no

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

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How do you get birds to land in your back yard? With a gun.

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What did the mexican do after he finished his taco? He was eaten by a dinosaur.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? With a ladder.

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What do you call a skeleton in your closet? Evidence of a brutal crime. You should probably call the cops.

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What do you tell your dad if he constantly gripes about his balls? He's got testicular cancer and he's going to die a horrible painful death.

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A bar walks into a man. No, firstly it wasn't a man and secondly the bar didn't walk in. The pedophile just slid it in and sodomized the poor boy.

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''Levi Johnston is running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. Ironically, many of the babies he'll kiss on the campaign trail will be his own.''

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

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nock nock " whos there" , "open the door and you will see

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Why did Jimmy fall of a building without a paracute? Because he lost a bet.

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A white man went to the basketball court to play basketball and was confronted by a group of black men. They kindly invited the white man to play basketball with them and they had a nice day

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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