Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

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It was a dark and stormy night. The whole family waiting for the phone to ring as they await for a criminal to give instructions. Then the phone rings... RING RING Jeffery: "Hello? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. No sir please don't! No, have mercy! Yes sir. No sir, no. Yes sir. Bye." Donald: "What did the man say?" Jeffery: "Wrong number..."

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Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

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Did you hear about the black guy who got into college? Actually, there are nearly 10,00 African Americans who get accepted into college every year. This specific black male is notable because of his stellar grades and his activity in his community.

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Q:What happened to the fat man that rode a roller coaster? A:He had fun

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Why are apples cheaper than lemons? Because you have to pay less money then lemons to buy them

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple?  Getting raped by a 10 foot scorpion.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies in a dumpster? One dead baby in 10 dumpsters.

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first

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Your mom is so fat that when she steps on the scale, it displays a very large number.

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What is funny about a child with down syndrome? Nothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left the fence open, so it wandered around and happened to cross a road.

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I was diagnosed with Clinical Depression the other day.... It made me sad.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What do you call a blonde girl with ponytails? A cheerleader.

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What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Mary.

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Do you smell that? Sex and candy?

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Yo momma is so fat, when she wears a bathing suit, people are like, wow, that woman is fat.

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Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because the weather report said there was a 90% chance of rain, and he didn't want to get his posh new coat wet on the way to the studio

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So a 12 year old suicide bomber walks in to a military base and kills 31 soldiers. It happened. Look it up.

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what's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm ? finding a half worm.

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What is black and hangs from a white supremacists tree? His kids tire swing.

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TEST! ACTUALLY READ THIS! 1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. 2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. 3. The King of the Forest is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend? The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory. 4. There is a river you must cross but it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it? You swim across. All the crocodiles are attending the animal conference.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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