Shortest Joke in the World? Well, just look down.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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What do you get when you put a cat in a Xerox machine? A copycat.

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I love you

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "There goes my income. I dont know how I'll support my family now, or keep my crops alive."

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Why did Sally cross the road? She didn't, she got hit by my car.

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how do you get a clown off a swing??? hit him in the back with an ax!

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Q: What did the Black Man say to the Mexican Fellow Guy? A: Hello.

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Why did the person play his XBOX 360? because he felt like it.

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Why did a boy get slapped in the hand? A; because he had it in the persons face

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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knock, knock no one answers man goes home and shots himself because he feels alone

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How long does it take for a dead baby to explode in the microwave? I don't know; I was too busy masturbating.

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What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

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As he stood in her front yard with a boombox in the pouring rain, she leaned her head out the window with a smile and he was electrocuted.

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Guess what? What? Nothing.

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Why does Santa Claus not have children? Because he only comes once a year.

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A guy went to a girl asked if she wanted to have sex with him. She said yes and they promptly had sex.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? I eat pizza.

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roses are grey violets are grey i am color blind

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A man walks into a bar stark naked with a duck on his head. The bartender said "Dave, what's wrong?" The duck replies "Don't ask."

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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A priest, a minister and a rabbit were seated next to each other on an airplane. They all had to pay for lunch.

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what's blue and white and red all over? -nothing the "red all over" part implies a contradiction to blue and white.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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