Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

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a dumb blond walks into a hair salon and gets her hair died brown... she is now a dumb brunette

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OMG FUCKING NERDS WITH NO LIFE CAN READ ABOUT THE POWER OF YOUR Vaginal puss puss color, no but seriously, I kinda prefer unshaven, I mean if I change my opinion I just do it myself or command that you shave yourself while I put it on my cellphone while I jack off to you, making a creampie, yeah because.

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Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning.

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What's the difference between car keys and truck keys? Literally nothing.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

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My mates dad hasnt had a job in 20 years... its probably why there all homless outside my house.

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A man walks into a casino, and when he walks out his family has no home.

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What did dick Cheney say to his friend that he accidentally shot in the face while quail hunting? Sorry for shooting you in the face

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Q: Why did Little Suzie fall off of the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Little Suzie!

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Whats green? The color green.

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What does Helen Keller order at McDonalds? Food.

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Hurricane Sandy should be named A-Rod. Cuz he dosent hit anything

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Why did Osama bin laden plan 9/11? Same reason Justin bieber was born....

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Why do latins like soccer so much? Because it's a very popular sport in the whole world.

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A man walks into a bar and at the bar he sees this guy with a blue head. He asks the man with the blue head if he can buy him a drink. The man with the blue head says "sure... you want to know about the blue head don't you?" "Yes i do" "Okay it all starts with a genie, he gave me 3 wishes, the first wish was to have a beautiful wife and a house to put her in, the second wish was for a ton of money, and the third wish was for a blue head."

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

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Why was the little African child sad? He had recently been denied an education only 4 days after witnessing his mother being raped and cut in half by a machete. ....he also had aids. ......and was in Africa.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I t was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Netball.

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What did a man say to the woman with two black eyes? nothing he ain't already told her twice....

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what did the blind, deaf, retarded child, without any arms or legs get for Christmas? nothing, his parents are dead

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So a dolphin is dropped off at a park and dies because he was out of the water to long.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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