There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats brown and sticky? Brown paint,

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Three men went out for a night on the town, one had too much to drink and was forced to take a cab home.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

So a man walking down a nature trail came across an injured fox laying on the ground in pain, it looked like it was attacked recently. There wasn't much the man could do at the time, so he gently picked up the fox and rushed the fox to his house. The man arrives moments later at his house with the fox. There were a lot of options the man could choose, but he went with a simple recipe. The man grabbed a knife and gutted the fox, removing all unnecessary organs. He then skinned the fox of it's fur. He sliced the head off, cut the legs to a stub, and stuffed it. He gave it a nice seasoning and placed it in the oven at about 350F for 6 hours. When the fox was perfectly cooked, it was taken out of the oven and left to sit for about 5 minutes to cool. He cut a chunk of meat from the dish and sat down to eat. "What a fine meal" the man said.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

when choosing a bedtime story.... jack the rippers life stories is not a good idea... ........................................................................

thumb_up thumb_down -10

wh did a man all of his bike? It was a wet and slippery day, he had a lack of control and concentration

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did Sally get for Christmas? Nothing, Sally is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +22

If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A Man Walks into a Bar with a Dog. He is blind, and is promptly guided to his seat by other patrons.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is worse than getting a bad grade on a test. Having your family dog bled out in front of you, bitch.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you mess with Helen Keller? Move all the furniture in her room.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A blind man walks into a wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you stop a cat from urinating on your floor? Shoot it.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Police say's 'have you been drinking' and you reply back saying 'YES' then the police brings out the blower and you blow, it says on it that you are fine, but then the cops ask you 'what did you drink' and you just say 'well i drank juice for breakfast then had some water, tea, coffee' the cops get really angry but before he says anything you say that ' I AM MUSLIM'

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He was shot. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He was mentally disturbed. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the boy drop his peanuts and crackerjacks? He had a sudden heart attack and died at the age of 10

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Is it colder on a farm than in the winter?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why is your mother dead? because i killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why didnt Timmy Go to school? He Died.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A black man walks up to a bank teller and pulls out a gun, he proceeds to tell the bank teller he saw a white man drop it outside the bank.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Whats worst than being raped by a black guy? Being raped by two black guys? You racist i'm calling the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

An English man, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They each buy a pint and talk about their day.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

In Soviet Russia my freedoms are severally restricted by communism.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops