Why did the chicken cross the road? To pick up the carcass of its road-killed younger brother and weep.

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"Do you wanna hear a funny joke?" Yeah, Sure! "A funny joke."

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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I read my Uncle an anti-joke. He is still wondering why it made no sense to him.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is blind and death, making her oblivious of her surroundings and would be a danger to fellow commuters. -mac

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What did the squirrel say to the dog? "I have AIDS."

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It was being poached

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Beluga Whale walk into a bar. The Priest says: "Well because today is a holy holiday, I'll take a glass of white wine to celebrate." The Rabbi says: "Well, because today I have to kindle thy sacred light, I'll have a glass of merlot." The Beluga Whale then says: "Ooooooooorrrrooooooommmmmmmm....."

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What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

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Boy: Dad, come here I need to tell you something. Dad: What? Boy: My name is Jeff. Dad: *Grabs shotgun* " I've had with that damn term"

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How did the dinosaurs die???? How the Heck do I kno?

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Why did the CEO step down? Because he was very ill and could no longer meet his duties and expectations as Pear’s CEO.

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Why do matt Daly jokes suck? Because he has Downs.

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Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A.One's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other's a human.

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Q: Why was the man hit by the train? A: He was tied to the rail road tracks...

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Whats red and hurts if it hits you in the face? a brick

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Josh Moran sticks polish sausage up his ear and moves it back and forth while squeezing his balls until they rupture.

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What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

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What's red and has wheels a red car....

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why was the blind man walking in circles? i dont know ask him yourself.

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What do you get when you cross a Mexican, a black guy and an octopus? I don't know but I don't like it.

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What did the blonde say when she tripped down the stairs? Nothing she was unconscious and had a serious concussion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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