Two guys jump off a cliff... the third guy calls an ambulance.

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Luck is not real. But the dismembered body in my basement is.

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Nickelback.

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Why did people on a plane die? Because it crashed.

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what happened to those kids sandusky raped? who cares

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Y did the chicken cross the rode to/ get away from KFC

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Why did the woman fall off the skateboard? She hit a rock.

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whats worse than a leaf in your bed? World hunger, global warming, the economy......

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What did the mute person say to the deaf person? Nothing.

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Yo mama so old, she used to babysit Dumbledore

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad this joke is over?

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Whats the difference between a quarter and a penny? 24 cents.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What do you call a guy who accidentally cut off his hand in a blender? Stupid.

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what do ninjas and gay people have in common... if you eat them they will no longer be alive

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What did the boy call the man that kicked the cat? "Sad twat"

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Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

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whats the difference between ur mom and my mom? nothing i slept with both of them

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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why was it sad that 3 men were crossing rail road tracks in a toyota and got hit by a train? they ruined the Toyota

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What is chewy and tastes like gum? Chewing gum.

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A dyslexic woman wears a bar.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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