Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number, so she rolled up her sleve

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What did the blind, deaf orphan get for Easter? Hepatitis.

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FRED CLEAN YOUR ROOM! Ok mom, I'm done "Nothing is cleaned" Well.. I tried

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what is black, white, and red all over? A bloody panda

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? Well that would be crude and insensitive to ask a person with dementia to do a task so easily performed by a person who is not non compos mentis.

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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Q: Why is Little Johnny in the hospital with a bullet wound and a broken arm? A: I shot him of his bike.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo. Boo Who? Boobies.

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Betty White's wrinkly ass skin.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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what did one tornado say to the other? im dizzy

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A blonde, a brunette and a red-head find a mirror with a message on it that says "Stand in front of the mirror and say something you think is true. If it is true, I'll grant you a wish. If it is wrong, you'll be sucked inside the mirror and be trapped there forever." The blonde, who is standing in front of the mirror, says "I think this is a stupid joke." and nothing happened.

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What did the doctor say to the pregnant mother? Your babies dead

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when life throws you lemons your an idiot because it wont

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What did Sam say when the basketball hit her face? Ouch.

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What do grass and deer have in common? They're both green I lied about the deer

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yo momma is so ugly, she attempted to get plastic surgery and then died from the amount of blood loss she got when the surgeons realized her head was filled with tumors and they failed to extract them.

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What do you call burt and ernie if they were black?? A couple of n*ggers

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Why are Chinese people short? Chinese people are often exposed to harmful chemicals because of lax environmental laws, and suffer from poor nutrition.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A man held him at gunpoint and threatened to kill his entire family.

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What did the umpire yell to the flatulent player at bat? FOUL BOWEL!

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

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why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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