Q. How many grains of rice can you fit in an egg? A. Fire extinguisher.

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I woke up in bed with someone this morning. ... Hah.

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What if your name was Mr. David and the office called you down and you were wearing a dress?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar.

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what do you call a guy who makes racist jokes? an insensitive bastard

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When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much... and after being married for 39 years... They get divorced

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Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

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"knock knock" "Come in"

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This joke might just be dumb enough for YOU to find funny

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What do you call a seagull that flew into the bay? Wet.

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when life givs you lemons you say no thank you i dont take food from strangers

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 was having illicit sexual relationships with 9, of which 6 knew about, but was afraid to inform his wife, 8, who 7 stepped over to get to 9.

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What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

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iPhone's. Amirite? That's not even an anti-joke. Just a joke.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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When Chuck Norris claps, his two hands slam together, creating rather loud soud.

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One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver. She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so. She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you." He replies "BREASTS."

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What's an anti joke? Then I ate my digestive biscuit.

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It's not just me bomber, Kane Aodhan and kevin are all posting stuff too so SBB!!!

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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Why did the man fall off of his bike? He was hit by a car and died in a tragic accident.

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a dedicated fat guy joins a kung fu dojo he is asked to dedicate his like to his kung fu the fat man dose not he is already dedicated to being a fat guy

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What's one thing a black man can't have? White skin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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