Your Mama is so poor. I begin to worry about you and your familys' finacial situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

did you ever see a butter fly?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walked into a bar. The Englishman ordered a lager, the Irishman ordered a Guiness, and the Scotsman ordered tap water.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting fisted by hulk

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Frogs with dislocated fingers....................................................CARROT

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the little girl not speak? It was Anne Frank

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? I'm not sure, but I would probably have nightmares for a couple weeks.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

black people. that is all...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A:Knock Knock, B:Who's There? A:Orange, B:Orange Who? A:Orange Banana.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a black guy with Alzheimer's? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Chuck Norris. I'm Done. That's my joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the gay guy get for Christmas? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Why did the monkey fall off his tricycle? He got hit by a fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What is the longest sentence that a man knows? If it is used it in context, isn't round and the speaker attempts to quote the whole number - or at least all of it known to date, then any sentence involving the value of pi.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

A man walks into a bar. It was a metal bar. He cracked his skull and died in the hospital shorty afterward.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than getting raped then killed? Getting killed then raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A married man takes the ring off his finger.

thumb_up thumb_down +82

How do you get a dog off of your roof? Shoot it.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Okay, So a Cow, a Lumberjack and a Fireman walk into a bar. The cow asks the bartender, "What kind of milk do you have?" The bartender looks confused and asks," Why would a cow want milk?" The cow replies,"I've been producing milk all my life and I've never had a chance to try it. I'd just like some milk." The bartender replies,"Okay we have whole milk, 2%, and skim milk. What'll you have?" The cow says,"Whole milk, I want the whole deal." The bartender obliges. Next the Lumberjack comes up to the bar. The bartender asks, "What'll you have?" The lumberjack asks for some syrup. The bartender inquiries,"What kind of syrup would you like?" The lumberjack answers,"Pure Maple, imitation, or chocolate. All work for me." The bartender turns and pours a shot of pure maple syrup and turns away. Finally the fireman walks up the the bartender and says, "Can I have a glass of water?" The bartender turn and ask inquisitively,"Why?" The fireman quickly replies,"TO PUT OUT THE FIRE!"...

thumb_up thumb_down

What is a quicker way to transfer money than electronic banking? Keeping it on one's person and getting mugged for it, or else handing it over in a mutual deal.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why does dan leave Amy? Because dan is in another relationship and did not want to be unlawful to Amy.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Mum, "Why aren't you listening to me, are you deaf or something?" Son, (Silence)...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops