Q. Why did Sarah fall off of the swing? A. She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sarah!

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Q.When is a dog, not a dog? A. never

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Teacher: Billy what do you want to be when you grow up? Billy: A fireman! Teacher: Tommy what do you want to be when you grow up? Tommy: 9/11

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left the fence open, so it wandered around and happened to cross a road.

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Violets are blue, Roses are red, I like to mix up my poems.

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hi will

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What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

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Why was the boy running There was a giraffe chasing him

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why was the old man cold? ...WHY?

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A Mexican is a Mexican and a bench is a bench.

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If I had a dollar for every funny joke on this site... I would have quite a few dollars. I would't be rich, but I'd have enough money to pay for me and three friends to go see a movie. So I'm talking like $40-$55, give or take. However, do keep in mind that that cost does not include the purchase of any popcorn/food/beverages.

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Yo mama so fat she was diagnosed with diabetes and now has to regulate her daily intake of foods.

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Q: What used to be black, and then became white, and touches young boys? A: Michael Jackson.

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What does Lady Gaga call Hitler? Nothing special because she doesn't refer to him in everyday's speech.

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A robbery occurred at Temple University, the perpetrator is an African-American male, 5'11", wearing jeans and a black sweatshirt. Be on the look out and notify the police if seen

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Why do matt Daly jokes suck? Because he has Downs.

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A man walks into a bar, ouch!

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How many Freudians does it take to screw your mother - I mean, a lightbulb?

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why didnt Joe drive the tractor today? Because Joe doesnt have any arms or legs. Why doesnt Joe have any arms or legs? A) Because Joe is a potatoe

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Q: why did the little girl cry on Christmas? A: because she got a dead cat.

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How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are unintelligent creatures of instinct, and can tell no significant differences between the pavement and the road. It was unfortunate that a bus was speeding past at the moment this event happened.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? I don't cum on my watermelon before I eat it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops