Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't. Before it could cross, it was killed and then consumed by an average American

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walks into a bar He is now in the emergency room suffering from deep lacerations to the forehead as well as a bloody nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms ... Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What happened to Jim. He died his funeral is tomorrow.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

roses are red violets are blue shut the fuck up or ill fuck you

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why do people play video games? Because audio games are not as fun.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is the most dangerous gull in the world? A gull with a machine gun!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking. It stems from an Algonquian (possibly Narragansett) name for the animal, wuchak. The similarity between the words has led to the common tongue-twister that you have just stated.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the tractor say when he lost his farmer? Where's my farmer??????

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why did Jenny fail her photography class? Because Jenny has epilepsy and she had a coma while taking the final exam? To this day Jenny is drain dead in the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are the same.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: What was Steve Jobs' last words before he died? A: I Think i might die.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many babies can you fit on a ferris wheel? None, babies aren't allowed to ride

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are Orange Violets are Green I'm Colorblind..

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did Stevie Wander get for christmas? A book

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What do you call someone who cant swim? A: A person that cant swim.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did Greg move to the Lake District? Because his dog died and the family is in mourning.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops