What is brown and has 3 legs? My severely injured cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead...

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Hey Jake can I use your lawnmower? Why Michael, so you can run over my cat like you did last night

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the garbage man cross the road? He was doing his job.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is the difference between a jew and girl scouts. Girl scouts come back from camp

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the black man do when he found a bucket full of KFC chicken on the ground? He promptly looked around for anyone who might have bought it. After searching around, with no takers, he ate some of the chicken and saved the rest. He brought it back to his apartment and left it in his fridge, so he may later eat it as leftovers.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What was the black guy doing in Mississippi? Just hanging around.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q. What do you call a grammatically incorrect horse? A. An horse.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

So your driving your brick car and the steering wheel falls off. So how many pancakes does it take to fill your dog house? 12 because hamsters don't wear shoes

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is better than tissues? Correct!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

There is a middle-eastern man in customs with a turban and a briefcase and he is profiled by his race which is a sad fact of our society.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

oh my god! what? i heard this joke the other day and it was hilarious. ok, tell me? actually it doesn't matter i can't remember anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Mr Webb *Hit keyboard loudly* -...

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man walks off a bus. How did he get on top of it in the first place?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Yo mama so fat and ugly, I don't want to tell you how fat and ugly she is for fear of vomiting.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Around 10PM on a Saturday two Irishmen walk into a bar. They order up a round of drinks, and comment on the appearance of several women in the place whom they believe to be single. After finishing up their drinks, the one Irishman asks the other if he'd like another one. The other says no, that he promised his wife he'd be back soon with diapers for the baby. He thanks his friend for the drink and leaves for home. The remaining Irishman orders up another "round" from the bartender, but really it's only one drink he is ordering, being he is only one person.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the smoker say when he coughed? Ohhh dam it's turned into a smokers cough

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man walks into a bar and says "ouch." It was an Iron bar.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops