What did one muslim say to the other muslim? Nothing, muslims are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

what do you call 10 black people in a red car? overcrowded

Why doesn't God answer prayers? God does answer prayers, but He does not want you to have everything you want just by asking it, He wants you to work for what you have, everything happens for a reason. ... Nah, it's because God does not exist.

A blind man walks into a bar. He cannot read the drink menu.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

what did the dog say to the cat? nothing cause animals dont talk.

why did the chicken cross the road? because he was trying to kill himself in the fastest and easiest way due to his drinking problems, which in the first place separated him him from his wife, who is fighting with him in court for custody of there only child ,Steven. He can not even pay the rent on his apartment or hold a job to pay child support..he is also in debt.

If only i were a man! You not! Your a.... WO-MAN!

What is brown and green and goes 100 mph? A tree falling down on your house.

Why don't you ever want to greet your friend Jack on the plane? Because your wife cheated on you with him and she is having his baby, if you were to even think about talking to Jack, you'd end up slitting his throat and throwing him off the side of the plane into a crocodile pit where they will make a feast of his body for the next couple days... So just don't greet Jack

Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Waking up with a snapping turtle up your butt.

A rabi a priest and a gay guy are praying. The rabi says amen the priest says amen the gay guy says ahh men.

jimmy carr walks into a tax office.

What did Anne Frank say to the German Officer? Nothing. She had to keep quiet in a cramp attic in order to survive.

Why did a car full of African-American men pull up to a lonely, caucasian man walking on the sidewalk at 12 p.m. in Harlem? To ask for directions.

Q:why didn't billy go to soccer practice A:there was a billboard stapled to his neck

Yo mamma's so fat, we are all seriously concerned for her health.

Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

An Irish man walks out of a bra.

You're welcome!

A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

What's the worse part about a Jewish man dying in a house fire? It was his birthday

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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