Barney is a pedophile Loves dino molestation Stuck a dildo in his ass And died of constipation

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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whats stupid and likes dumb jokes? you.

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...The new series of spinoff movies from the worlds most frightening franchise! Pretty Normal Activity: Doing the groceries *****-Did not scare me at all :D! Ballbusters movie rentals *****- The demon never showed up which made this the scariest movie ever! Could not sleep for months... Whatyumean there is nothing paranormal in this? Aww FU*beep*CK!! Sumgay Inthestreet Journal *****-Pissed myself just from hearing the title got a stroke and almost died!, was it another Paranormal movie you said? Most overhyped comment we could find. Goddamn exaggerated movie reviews that fooled me into buying the original and expect something actually scary :(

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Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

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There once was a man from berlin He knocked on a door to go in He got such a fright When the house did ignite That he never went knocking again

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What is invisible and smells like rabbits? Bunny farts.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk in to a barber shop They each ask the barber for haircuts of their preference.

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What did Mr. Pazdzioch and Mr. Hahn and Mr. Fishers big ass do for fun? Ate Mr. Kilgores shit at shin-go-beek jamboree.

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LeBron in the fourth quarter

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A black man and a hispanic man are in a car. Who is driving? The guy who didn't call shotgun.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes.

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Whats green and looks like eggs? Green eggs.

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What's funnier than 100 dead babies? Everything.

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's been brutally cut open.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Where is Sally hiding? She was kidnapped and has probably been murdered, I lied about her hiding.

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There are 3 types of people, those that can count and those who can not.

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why did the baby start crying? someone threw a brick at it

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

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I was going to write a joke about how I have alzheimers but than I forgot it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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