whats white and big and white? alot of things...

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Q: What Jews are doing in Palestine? A: Living.

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Why do cows have tails? Because my pet rock stopped breathing.

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what did the chicken say to the vet? nothing chickens dont talk

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why do cats hate dogs? because cats were bullied by dogs in highschool.

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Do you know what african children do? They die of starvation.

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a read head, a brunet, and a blonde sneak into a merchant ship. security hears some noises and goes on to investigate. all three girls jump into banana sacks. security guard kicks the first sack with the read head in it and she growls like a dog, so the security sees its a dog and keeps on walking. he then kicks the sack with the brunet in it, she goes on to hiss like a cat. so then the security guard kicks the last sack with the blonde in it, and she yells out "bananas!"...the end

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Why are there no aspirin factories in the Amazon Rainforest? Because it would be unprofitable to build a factory that requires a large workforce in an uninhabited area.

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Have you heard about the Polish princess? There isn't one. The Polish monarchy was abolished in 1918.

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Why did the man get a DUI? Because he was driving under the influence.

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Why did Sally fall of the Swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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Haiku's Are Easy. But Don't Always Make Much Sense. Refrigerator.

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What do you call a man with cheese on his face? His name is David.

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What did the bicycle say to the fat kid? Nothing, bikes cant talk.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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What is the difference between a grape and an elephant? They are both grapes, except for the elephant.

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Why did the magician die when he tried to escape from the handcuffs underwater? Because he drowned and failed his magic trick.

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What's the difference between a pen and a tiger? Believe it or not they are both not a cantaloupe.

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Knock Knock? Whos there? Ching Ching Who? No...Ching Smith you racist!

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What has legs but may never walk? A Vietam Vet

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Stare at the person nearest to you and say "sprinkles" with the straightest face possible.

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Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin says, "Boy it's hot in here." The second says, "It sure is." Both muffins then faint from heat exhaustion and are eaten to death when taken out of the oven And thus tragically, the world would never know of the spectacular talking muffins.

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Have you ever seen Hellen Keller's house? Well it was really nice.

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My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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