What's brown and hides in the closet? The Diarrhea of Anne Frank.

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What's heavy, black, and when hanging by a rope from a tree, makes white people happy? A tire, in any white football player's backyard.

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My dad weights 350 lbs. He decided to switch to diet soda.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? Because it is the decaying remains of a corpse and therefore lacks brain and muscle tissue depriving it of the ability of though and movement both of which are key skills in the art of dancing.

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What would you get when you cross a bear and a shark? a highly improbable situation because sharks and bears live completely different environments.

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That awkward moment when you have to tell your child you wanted an abortion, and still wish you had.

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You know whats funny? Things that aren't listed here.

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whats worse than the holocaust??? finding it in your apple

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justin Beiber is gay. what else is there to say...

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Lizzy doesnt shave or shower. She just went to the bathroom in the middle of the school hallway

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What do you call an Arabic man flying a plane? A Pilot.

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Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

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i am predestal

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies " My daughter just died of leukemia."

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Why was the black child found dead in water? He was raped and thrown into a river.

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What is in your backyard and is stalking you? Corn

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing. Cats can't talk.

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Why does 4 +5 = Hitler? It doesnt it equals 9.

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There was a man with a job and kids. One day he came home from his job and went to sleep. He never woke up because it turns out he had a heart attack.

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A hairy monster walks into a bar. It was halloween.

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Q: What would you do if i pushed you down the stairs A: I would suffer from serious head injuries thus filling you with guilt for performing such a deed.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

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What happened when Chuck Norris tried to divide by zero? He found that he was not very good at math, and moved on to another joke concerning himself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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