How do you kill a blonde? Pull the pin and throw it back...then proceed to paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

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The glass is half an hour.

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"My grandmother has AIDS. They are really nice ladies." -joke by comedian Daniel Cupps

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Why do women have boobs? So they can feed their newborn children without paying for expensive formula

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what's worse than finding an worm in your apple? Finding HALF a worm in your apple.

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Dig a big hole in your front yard and wait next to it so when people walk by they'll ask "Why is there a hole in your front yard?" to whcih you will reply "I don't know. Do you wanna play Monopoly?"

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why was the dog barking?? bryan is a douche..... get it troupe.

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thomas hall= fuckin dikc

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Mel Gibson is awoken by the ringing of his telephone. He proceeds to have a nice conversation with his wife.

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How many lollipops does it take to shingle a dog? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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Why does Mario wear coveralls? Because it makes practical sense for his full time job as a plumber.

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If life hands you lemons Take them

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Why did the black guy buy a bucket of KFC? Because he was hungry

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This guy walks up to the bartender, and says to him, " ill bet you $100 that i can piss in this cup from 20 ft away." The bartender laughs, thinking hes gonna get an easy 100 bucks. he says "ok, u do that and ill watch." the guy says "ok but one second." he then walks over to this table full of guys and the bartender see him and them whispering and shaking heads. then the guys walks back over, and says to the bartender, "ok here i go" then he whips out his wang and starts pissing all over the place,all over the bartender, the counter, everywhere but the cup. Meanwhile the bartenders laughing, because he thinks he made some easy money. then the bartender asks the guy for his money and the guy says, "alright one minute." then the guys walks over to the table full of guys and they al start pulling out money and give it to him. so the guy walks over to the bartender and says, "here you are, your 100 bucks" the bartender notices him smileing and says "u just lost 100 bucks why are you happy?" and the guy says, " you see that table full of guys over there? well, i bet them all $500 dollars that i could piss all over you, your counter and all of your things, and that youd not only be happy about it, but youd laugh!!!"

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A black man, a jew, a hispanic, and an asian are the only survivors of a plane crash, and end up on a deserted island, what do they do? Die.

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Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road To Get To The Other Side

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Why was little billy sad? He had a crouton stuck up his asshole.

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Why are children like books? They are highly flammable if covered in gasoline.

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Q: What's a fish store with no fish? A: A water store.

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What do you call a puppy with all it's legs missing? Franklin, the quadraplegic puppy.

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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N e one else find the girl in the cellar from the new evil dead creepy ? Like shes some real demon being used by the movie industry to scare people? (serious qestion)

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What did the Liver say to the Heart? Nothing, Organs can't talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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