Why did Jimmy fall of his tractor? Because Jimmy doesn't have any arms or legs...Why doesn't Jimmy have any arms and legs? Cause Jimmy is a potato.

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What's the difference between Justin Bieber and a gay guy? They're both gay

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What happened to the baby in the microwave? I don't really remember, I was too busy jacking off.

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Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

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What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he lost his grip on the branch and was unable to reach another before reaching the ground.

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Why did the waiter put rubber bands in the soup? Because he wasn't a very good waiter.

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What super hero did they choose to be on the Blue Jays' team? Batman!

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Q: How many babies does it take th paint a barn? A: I dunno, how hard are you throwing them?

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A black guy walks out of a house with a t.v. He proceeds to put it into a moving van and moves into his new house.

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Chuck Norris can speak Japanese. Believe it or not he is actually multilingual, he speaks Spanish and French as well.

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Brittney Spears

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A muslim man with a long beard and wearing a turban and robe boards an aircraft with a large suitcase. The plane later arrives at its destination a few minutes past the estimated arrival time due to bad weather.

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Whats hotter than a sunny day. A pot of boiling water.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pig? One makes bacon when smoked.

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As I was riding my bike down the road, I saw a young boy being raped in a dark alley way. I proceeded to pedal and acted like i had seen nothing.

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A Jewish man with a 20 mile boner walks into a wall. Which body part hits the wall first? His nose

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get KFC... Because hes a canibal!

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

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A plane is flying low over New York City. It's low on fuel and needs to land.

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My zombie busting team: Tank: The Terminator Mechanic: Tony Stark Demolitions: Superman Medic: Gandalf Bait: Justin Bieber

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a prison. A gang stopped them, and said: Hey, want to play a game? Before they could run away, the gang leader told them the rules. You go over there and stand by the wall. You close your eyes, and then we fire a shotgun in your direction. The last one alive wins. They push the brunette onto the wall. She closes her eyes because she knows she's about to die and doesn't want her friends to see her crying. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. They decide it's the redhead's turn next. They move her onto the wall. Being the brightest one in the bunch, she tries to keep her eyes open. However, she blinks. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. Then the blonde bursts out laughing. "Your friends are dead. And you're about to die. Do you find that funny?" They ask. She answers. "No. It's just- I won the game!"

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what did the man say when he walked into the bar? ouch!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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