Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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Q: What did the nomad get for christmas? A: Most likely nothing because he lives in the middle of nowhere where no stores exist. If anything, he got a sandstorm.

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What looks like poo but is rainbow colored? Rainbow colored poo.

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What is black and white and red all over. A blackboard.

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? There are more birds on that side

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What did the blonde say to the brunette? I'm sorry your brother died

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Why did Hitler shoot himself He saw his his gas bill

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What happened when the woman sent back the pair of shoes she bought on eBay? She obtained a refund from the seller under eBay's return policy.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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If you were a pie I'd eat you

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A Chinese man, a Mexican man and an African man walk into an American bar. None of them know any English and can not order a drink. They walk out promptly, frustrated by the difficulties of living in a strange new world where they don't speak the native language.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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What's the difference between a badger and a TV? Alot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a truck

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Today I looked at a clock and realized that I was late.

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What did the apple say to the apple? Nothing, they're apples.

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Have you heartd about the blond that confused winow putty for KY jelly? Her windows fell out.

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you give like i give lomain

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What did the racist wife give to her black husband on their anniversary? Golf clubs because he liked to golf.

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What do you call a sleeping bull? Don't call him anything and back away slowly.

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Q. What red and scratches glass A. a baby in an oven

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yo mama so ugly she made a happy meal frown.

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How do you keep a woman entertained? A delightful romantic comedy

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What do you call a black person trying to swim? Wet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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