What is the mexican dream? To jump the border

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Billy: Why do pirates say rrrrr? Mark: I don't know, I'm not a pirate.

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Your mama's so old that typical places of business grant her the senior citizen discount.

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What's worst then finding a worm in your apple??? Yo momma

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A jew, a black man, a muslim, an atheist, a christian, a catholic, a roman, a russian, a cuban, an english man, a horse, a cow boy, a gay, a lesbian, a dancer, a teacher, a father, a mayor, a politician and a fish are in a bar. Now that's one crowded bar.

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What do you call a bird with a broken wing? A bird with a broken wing.

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How many fingers does Charlie Sheen have? 8. and 2 thumbs. just like most everybody else.

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your mom is so old, she is often confused for your grandmother.

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Q: How do you get 1000 babies into a bucket? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Tortilla chips.

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Every circle of friends has a "crazy one". If you can't figure out who the "crazy one" in your group is... Try harder. Either that or you are a terrible judge of character.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What is worse than when the Titanic sunk? You Cannot say. You were on that ship.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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A woman comes home and finds her husband with another woman. Their marriage collapses and the husband goes on to marry the other woman and his ex-wife commits suicide.

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A chemist and his buddy walk into a bar. The chemist, trying to sound smart, says, "I would like a glass of H20." The buddy, being a normal person who actually cares if he looks like an idiot, asks for plain water.

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1unno;njfjk

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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A dog is always in the pushup position.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mormens...

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9/11

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Why does my ass hurt I played gmod with a blackpeople

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Your dad is so gay, he lovingly marries another man and selflessly adopts you.

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Why do girls think they deserve the very best? Because if an ugly girl in twilight can find a hunky vampire and ripped werewolf why can't they. And let's not forget those crappy Disney princess movies.

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your mother eats so many chocolates and sugary confectionary that i would recommend a check up the the dentist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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