You best friend has a bladder disease. You ask him how he got it. He says " I was watching the superbowl and had to go, but I didn't want to miss the commercials. So it was either watching the game and getting a bladder disease that would end up killing me or going to the bathroom . Now you know where i went wrong."

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

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what did the cat say to the dog? I turded out my crap hole

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, WHO THE HELL $#!T IN MY GARDEN?!

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Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

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Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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A homeless guy was walking along the beach when all of a sudden he see's what looked like to be magic genie's lamp so he pick the lamp up whipes it off then sells it for black tar herion.

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Why did sally fall of of the swing she had no arms

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How do you catch a unique rabbit? You could probably find many of them in the vicinity of Chernobyl. The radiation has probably created thousands of mutations. They are probably not as fast as regular rabbits.

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Whats the difference between a sandwhich and a dead baby? People eat sandwhiches.

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What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

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Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

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Word play, punch-line, joke.

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What did one lion say to the other lion? Nothing. There was no other lion. This particular lion had horrible social anxiety so he spent most of his time alone, eating buffalo poop and playing World of Warcraft thus further alienating himself from the other lions. He was a very lonely lion.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ? To achieve his goal on the other side of the road. Being a chicken he is not aware of the arm a fast traveling motor vehicle can bring to him.

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What do you call a fat ethiopian. Impossible

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neil patrick harris

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Religious fanatics: WE MUST NOT SIN! Jesus: And I died for their sins? They do not even try a bit of sex and rock and roll? Now that is a sin :( I died for nothing then :( Religious fanatics: Damn!

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Your mother is so morbidly obese that if she sat on me, she would crush my skull and kill me.

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how many blondes did it take to fix a nuclear reactor? 1 she was a black japanese rapist

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The lion swallowed his pride.

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What happened to the guy that got hit by a bus. He died

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Doorbell repairman. ym

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What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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