What do you say to Jews at a synagogue? Hitler is coming

thumb_up thumb_down -43

what did the mushroom say to the other mushroom? nothing, mushrooms can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Yo momma so fat she saw a yellow bus full of white kids and said, "STOP THAT TWINKIE!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

One night, a heartbroken magician named Jeff went to a bar. Jeff met a nice girl, and they talked and laughed together for hours. After a while, Jeff asked her, "do you want to see a magic trick?" She ate his wiener.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's black and white and red all over? A mime lying in a pool of blood.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do men and parking spots have in common? Both often have cars on top of them. Vehicular manslaughter is a serious issue.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's black, blue and smells like fish? A dead penguin.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Sometimes i'm hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What is worse than seeing your whole family die? Leaving your wallet on the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is 69? A two digit number.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what do a dog and tree have in common? nobody cares when they die

thumb_up thumb_down +46

You are the third derivative of the position function.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

The motto of those who live in the Bible Belt; "The Bible Belt: Where being obese is 'Genetic' but being homosexual is a 'lifestyle choice'."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you confuse a blonde? I guess the same way you confuse someone of any other hair color.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Ran into my ex last night, so I put my truck in reverse and did it again.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walks into a bar He says ouch

thumb_up thumb_down -123

What do you call an alligator in a vest? An amphibious mammal wearing clothes. Why would you ask me that.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops