Q.Why was the fat man sweeting A. Because he just ran and his body is trying to maintain thermal equilibrium

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Where do you find a dead hooker? where you left her.

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How do you make a japanese man horny? Mutilate his girlfriend

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How many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse? Pancakes are not a feasible material with which to build a doghouse.

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Johnny had 50 candy bars. He ate 45 of them. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he's all right now

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What do black people eat? Food.

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"What's funnier then this joke? Women's rights." *Your suggestion is contradictory considering the fact that you are implying "Women's rights" is more humorous than "Women's rights".

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock? Who's There? Not Suzy. What did Suzy want for Christmas? Parents who loved her. What did Suzy get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Q) What is black, white, and red all over? A) A zebra that just became the kill of a hungry carnivore

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its all shi.ts and giggles.... ......until someone giggles and s.hits

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natalie wilson is a hilarious stripper

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What is the difference between the Xbox, PS3, and the Wii? The Wii is a complete waste of money.

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What is worse the the Holocaust? Nothing

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What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches

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CHICKEN it is a chickenly chickeny food we eat WRONG

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What did Jim do after the police gave him a ticket? He followed them home and used their children's limbs to rape them.

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Q: Whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion A: Getting raped by three giant scorpion's

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Whats black,white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

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So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

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How did the farmer stop the chicken from swearing? Cutting it's head off, skinning it, plucking it's feathers and cooking it on a medium heat for about an hour. He then served it up to his family with green beans, mash and parsnips.

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How does a person put an elephant in a closet? First they have to open the door, then put the elephant in and close the door. That was easy well how does a person put a giraffe in. You probably said open the door and put the giraffe in and close the door. Well you missed a step first you have to take the elephant out then you can put in the giraffe. Well both animals are to big to fit in a closet so you can't put them in and also the person who put the animals in is schizophrenic and the animals are fake so if you believed that you could fit them in there you might be delusional.

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Civil Rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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