Charlie Sheen walks into a bar... Every morning, and stays until it closes... [credit gilbert gottfried]

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and smell

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John Stamos.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am schizophrenic ...and so am I

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"Hey guys lets have a standing obviation." No one else stands....

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What is green and red and is going super fast? A frog in a blender.

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What's red ad spins in circles? A baby with it's head nailed to the ground.

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who farted your mother

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Man frantically runs into a bar, he suffers brain damage and cannot remember anything about his life. Though he tries to make everything go back to the way it once was, he and his wife grow distant and their family falls apart.

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A man walks into a bar and gets drink

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Yo Dawg, I heard You Like Kittens and Volcanoes... So, I threw Your Kitten In A Volcano.

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French people

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what did you call a downer in the medieval times? spazalot

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the chicken.

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What's the difference between two telephone poles? T-shirts! Because motorcycles don't have doors!

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Sophie Cameron is Gay

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Your mother is such a whore that she has consensual sex with a lot of people...

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Q: The president is driving down the road, when the wheels of his boat fall off. How many ping pong balls does it take to fill the Empire State Building? A: False. Vests don't have sleeves.

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Who, what, when, why, how, where, and which? Your Honor, i think my client would like to plead guilty.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread, and loaves of bread are incapable of understanding the intricacies of fly-by-wire guidance and propulsion systems.

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Girl you must be Jamaican...because you're black and annoying.

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A man walks into a bar. He backs up, unwraps it, and enjoys its chocolatey deliciousness.

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Person 1: Why do Jews have big noses? Person 2: Why? Person 1: No, I was asking you that question. Person 2: ??!!

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops