Boy: Excuse me, do you have a cigarette? Man: First let me see your ID. Boy: I don't have an ID Man: Well, how much money do you have? Boy: 50 cents Man: Sorry, I don't have any cigarettes. Boy: Good job, I'm actually undercover cop and you sir are a good citizen for not giving a minor cigarettes. Man: Cool, do I get a reward? Boy: Yes, you will receive a good citizen award and free $50 coupon. Man: Thank you! Boy: Can I have a cigarette now? Man: I wasn't lying when I said I didn't have any cigarettes. Boy: Okay, have a nice day.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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Your mom is so stupid she makes stupid people look not stupid.

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Lewis

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Why did the little girls ice cream melt? Because she was on fire.

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Why is it bees travel in formation, one side is longer than the other? ... There are more bees on one side

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A cow walks into the butcher shop, he looks around then mourns the loss of his brothers

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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Q: How many vaginas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Just one.

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A man goes to the beach to meat babes, but know one seemes to notice him. The man notices another man with a crowed of beautiful women surrounding him. Later that day he stops the man and asks him, how do you get all those girls? the man replies put a potato in your bathing suit. so the next day the man puts a potato in his bathing suit, this time he notices girls walking by and laughing, he goes to the man at the end of the day and asks why it did not work, the man replies, next time try putting the potato in the front

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What's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? The Hollocaust. What's worse than the Hollocaust? 3 bee stings.

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What do you call a big hungry duck? A duck thats hungry and big

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What did the fly say to the frog? Nothing, insects can't talk.

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What did the farmer say when he didn't like his tractor? Man, i don't like this tractor

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This, is indeed the funniest joke you will ever read, honest! "shows joke on written paper"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your family is dead, I killed them.

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derp

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What does an Eagle and a Mole have in common? They both live underground. Apart from the Eagle.

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Whats worse then people People copying other Anti-Jokes. People copying other Anti-Jokes about the holocaust.

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What is similar between a penguin and a newspaper? If you kill a penguin, then grind it up into a fine powder, then the penguin becomes a newspaper.

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I like cookies... GIVE ME ICE CREAM.

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What's the difference between a lion and a stuffed lion? One is for children to play with, one will eat you alive.

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How do you make an electrician cry? You kidnap him and his mother, tie them both to chairs in your garage, and force him to watch you stab his mother repeatedly in the face while laughing and licking up her blood and tears. Then cut his arms and legs off, lock him in a cage with his mothers body, and go in there everyday and eat a delicious meal while watching him starve to death next to his dead mother.

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What's worse than being annal raped by a black man? Well lots of things are but being raped by a guy who has around a 7 inch penis may be hurtful I'm sure being cut open and eaten alive may be worse;)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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