What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Peas are green Plums are purple Thieves are black

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You know whats funny? A man cooking dinner.

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Why could'nt Susie talk? The mafia cut out her tounge

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What do you get when you cross a cheetah and a zebra? A dead zebra.

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whats gayer than 2 homosexuals? 3 homosexuals.

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Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Teenage pregnancy.

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what is Justin Bieber+ One Less Lonely girl.... A BABY

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A baby seal walks into a club. It was a tragedy.

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how do you kill a mexican? make him go to the cicus

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kieran scott has a huge back

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Why did the hobo break both of his arms? He didn't like them.

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What did the tree say when it was cut down? Nothing, it's a tree

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Why didn't the blonde hook up with the business man? Because he was a raging alcoholic and a severe smoker who was incapable of looking after his 3 kids and he has gone to jail 3 times for public nudity and beating his wife.

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What do you call a black man eating dessert? A man of African ancestry enjoying a sweet treat.

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Why was Jimi's mom sad? Because Jimi suddenly fell to the floor clenching his neck while saying "I'm Dying!"

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Women's rights

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Hellen Keller went to town a ridin on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it.. ashhlerthurbujahustar.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted. You're adopt...wait what?

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A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. That's what she said

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven

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To mama so old, she might die soon.

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Why was 1 afraid of 2? Because 234!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops