Why does Chuck Norris own a can named Chuck Norris? because he is self-centered due to all the attention payed to him for virtually no reason at all.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How are a duck and a bicycle the same? They both have handlebars. Except the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, my chickens aren't allowed in rural areas...

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the blind, deaf orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I was walking down the street one day when suddenly, a chicken crossed the road. Apparently it wanted to cross to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother than explains to the daughter the logistics of sex. The daughter seems to comprehend and walk away leaving the mother to cook.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Three men of varying ethnic backgrounds jump off a building and yell different things as they fall to their death. They were all very good friends and neglected to have had a trip sitter watch them take hallucinogenics. The group of school children below the building are traumatized for a good portion of their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

what is the best thing to do if you are stuck in a cave with ten lions that haven't eaten in ten years? well the lions aren't the thing to worry about because if they have not eaten in ten years then they would have starved to death

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the three-leaf clover say to the four-leaf clover? "FREAK!"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why couldn't the car drive? Because its wheels were made of butter.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what happened to the boy who asked for a hit from the bong? he got punched in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

MWAAHHHHHAHAHHAH

thumb_up thumb_down +121

A deaf man is listening to the radio. Think about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Father: Son stop masterbating u might go blind Son: But Dad I'm over here

thumb_up thumb_down -4

robin has a boy friend its the green lantern

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Q: Why was the man upset? A: He was kidnapped. Two cruel men tied him to a chair in an unknown location. This man was mistaken for someone who was planning to steal a big drug shipment. They beat him unmerciful, shocked him, and hit him in the head with a hammer, and threw him out in the street, with the belief of his death occurring. A driver stopped to help the man into the nearby hospital. The man was questioned about the physical appearance and whereabouts of these criminals. He remembered nothing, and sadly, they got away with this horrible crime.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is red white and blue Blood. I was lying about the white and blue.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

It's funny, because she's twice his size!

thumb_up thumb_down +46

why do we have school? 2 learn duh y r u even askin? ur STOOPIDE!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A Jew and a German walk in a bar. they've accepted their peoples past and learned to move on with their lives

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. It was the chickens decision thus, not affecting your life greatly. You should therefore mind your own business and let the chicken live his life with capability of using it's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

When Chuck Norris is bitten by a zombie, Chuck Norris doesn't turn into a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops