A duck walked up to a lemonade stand. The owner of the stand marveled at how close such an adorable duck was to him and proceeded to sell lemonade undisturbed.

What do you call a room with a black person, a mexican, a jew, and a homosexual A diverse area

What did hitler say to Osama Bin Laden? Nothing they were born at different times

What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

What is white a can't climb up a tree? A fridge.

whats first than finding a worm in your apple? a blonde who asks you why there is a worm in your apple

You want to know something bad? A bag of dead babies. You wanna know something worse? One was still alive. You wanna know something even worse? He ate his way out. You wanna know something even worse? He went back for seconds.

How do you find out a chinese's name? Ask him/her

Q) How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A) It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was infamous for stealing people's laundry, and 6 was insecure about his bare body

Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

What is black, white, and red, and can't turn around in a hallway? A nun with a spear through her head.

If you took all the veins in your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

How long did it take azaha to have a shit? Nine months

Q: Whats the difference between a guitar and a piece of ham? A: You can eat a piece of ham.

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not yours.

A: I accidentally shot my sister with a rifle! B: you don't have a sister? A: exactly

The sword that kills, the sword that gives life.

Why did the squirrel fall out of a tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of a tree? It was cruelly stapled to the first one.

Why did the girl fall off the swing set? Because she had no arms.

Why did the man cry when he was surrounded by black men? He got a call saying his mother had just died.

why was the woman making a sandwich in the kitchen? because at the age of 3 she faced the hard reality of being nothing more in life then serving her husband to the day she die

Where did the kid go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

What would you do if the house you're sitting in now exploded? Nothing really, you would have died a horrible death.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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