Roses are red Violets are blue I'll choke you with a hose

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Why can't Dave drive? Because Dave is an orange.

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A Fish walks into a bar. It died of oxygen starvation.

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You know you're a redneck when you come from a rural area and behave as such.

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What do an owl and a squirrel have in common? They can both fly! Except for the squirrel.

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How do you wake up Lady GAGA? A sludge hammer!

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my Tractor?"

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What did the chicken say to the rhino? Nothing. Animals can't talk.

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united we sit, cause we're fat

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What do you call a police woman who shaves her pubes? PC Marion Jones

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What do you get when you cross a fan with a child? A mess that you now have to clean up.

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whats more embarissing rhan being raped by a squirel? Being a 40 year old virgin working at mcdonalds

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yo mama so fat that the doctor asked for her weight not her phone number!

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So a guy walks into a bar. It hurt really bad. He was pissed, so he went home and took his seal to a club.

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How do you kill an already dead man? You don't he's already dead.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

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whay did the monkey fall out of the tree? he was dead. why did the cat fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Everything is black. I'm Helen Keller.

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What did Hitler say to the Nazis? I have a mustache.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? I don't know, why don't you go ask him?

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A horse walks in a bar. Several people leave seeing the potential danger in the situation.

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Why couldn't the man walk? Because his leg is broken.

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What do you call a orphan with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Scrood

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why was the woman out of the kitchen, because she had to have sex with her husband in a bed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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