what do you call a man that just got brutally murdered? i don't know, check his birth certificate.

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Q: What did the banana say as it was being eaten? A: Nothing. Bananas are inanimate objects and therefore are incapable of talking.

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Why do people make fun of Laquesha? Because she's white.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the car? We're going to Dairy Queen.

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A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

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Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Jews are human beings. Pizza is a type of food.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're allergic to flowers So this poem will kill you

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A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

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Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor, beause he was feeling really crumby...becuase he has testicular cancer

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what did one dog say to his sex partner? woof woof

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Barack Obama

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oh my god! what? i heard this joke the other day and it was hilarious. ok, tell me? actually it doesn't matter i can't remember anyway.

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What's one plus one? two.

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I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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Why are black people faster than white people? They are descended from a lineage where athleticism was more greatly selected for in the evolutionary process.

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Two trains, on the same track, left different stations, and travelled in opposite directions. 74 people died.

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Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

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How do you make an idiot in suspense?

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What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children driving off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

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Knock knock. Hello dear. Come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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