A 8 year old kid and his dad are having quality time at the park,and relax at a nearby picnic bench after a thrilling game of tag."I love you." says the son. The father about to respond,promptly gets shot by 3 stray military issue assault rifle bullets that came from a heated dispute about a stolen car that got way out of hand. He dies,and the kid ran crying a long distance away. After he gets himself in a dark alley with nobody else around he laughs,and mutters "The plan went perfectly!" He pulls out a detonator and presses it. The White House,Washington Monument,and several nuclear power plants across the continental United States blow up,killing millions of people.The child,also in possession of nuclear bombs, holds the entire world hostage and becomes ruler of the entire planet Earth. Fin.

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How does Cee Lo Green order extra ketchup? Can I have some more ketchup, please?

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Your mom is so fat... That you inherited type one diabetes.

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what's 9+10? 19, not 21

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What did superman say when he flew into a building? Flying is inhumanly possible unless in an aircraft vehicle.

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The cookie monster walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why do you seem so blue?" Everyone laughed. Then the cookie monster replied "my wife died."

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why did the koala fall out of the tree? it was dead

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Why did the jew kill himself? He heard a raciest joke and went into a period of depresion causing him to lose all will to live.

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What did the dog say to the dildo? Your rubber

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Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.The chicken was very distressed and trying to get away from the angry mob that followed close behind it.The chicken was never seen again. If you see a distressed chicken please contact your local police station.

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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If I had a gun with only 2 bullets, and was in a room with Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and you; i would shot Hitler and Osama because they committed terrible crimes

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Q: What did the man with no arms and no legs receive for Christmas? A: Cancer

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A man, a woman, and their son were happily going out for a nice family dinner. The family they ate wasn't so happy.

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What do you call a room with a white man a black man and a hot pocket? A reasonable meal

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A nig-ger walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand. "do you have any lemonade" the man said "no. we don't serve nig-gers lemonade. but you can drink your own piss boy, thats home made.." the nig-ger waddled away (waddle waddle) till the very next day. The nig-ger walked up to the lemonade stand with a lawsuit file right in his hand and said "you are legally required to serve me lemonade" the man said "fu(k you nig-ger, go back to where you came go back to Africa it's full of aids" the nig-ger said "goodbye".... i'm too lazy too finish this off so i'll spoil the ending, the nig-ger was actually a smelly pakistanian, which was actually a dirty chi-nk in costume. let's just say lawsuits were filed but the lemonade stand owner had casey anthony's lawyer and in the end never had to serve fu-cking nig-gers, smelly pakies or dirty chin-ks again :) The End. Happily Ever After.

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What do you call when you see a man murder 8 black guys? The police.

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Have you ever tasted Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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What do you call a woman who is good at driving? Danica Patrick

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Identical jokes get different amounts of votes

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A man walks into a bar stark naked with a duck on his head. The bartender said "Dave, what's wrong?" The duck replies "Don't ask."

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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Homeless man....it's what's for dinner!

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How do you fit 3 squirtles two bulbasors and a charmander in a smart car You poke em on

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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