A guy walks into a bar and says "ouch!" The bartender says "are you okay?" "Yeah I just stubbed my toe" Then the guy walks it off, and then orders a drink.

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Knock knock Whose there? you you who you know who you are

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What do you call a horse standing alone in an empty field? Tesco's own Beef Lasagne.

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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Why is Alan in the hospital? Because he got cancer.

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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what do you call a black man with a job? dont know, has never happened.

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why is your hair black? it was heretitery.

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Why are the dinosaurs extinct? A meteor hit the Yucatan Peninsula and caused a blast that covered the earth and killed them all.

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's dad? Neither did she

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? You eat them.

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So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home.

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a black man walks out of popeyes

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A muslim walks into a gun shop

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whats the difference between a mexican and an elevator? An elevator can raise a child.

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roses are red, violates are blue, you left me for David, I am about to kill you *bam* *bam**bam*

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This person shaved their head to gain attention. A klansman.

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What do you call a gay drive by? a fruit rollup

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How do you know what time it is in the dark? Turn on the light and look at the clock.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was experiencing financial troubles, and needed money. He tried applying for many jobs, but they just didn't quite work out. After ending up in the drug business to support his family, a deal went bad and he was shot, landing him in the hospital. The night his family arrived to check on him, the same shooter made his way to his room, and murdered his wife and 3 children, and somehow managed to evade police. Months after this incident, Ralph, the same chicken who was in the hospital and witnessed his family's murder, was finally released. He had nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to in the future. He took up alcohol abuse for some time, until realizing what truly had to be done. He began tracking down his family's killer, and with each day spent, he became closer and closer to discovering the dealer's whereabouts. One day, he finally figured out who it was. As he arrived at the killers' home, he took one last deep breath, then stormed in. After fighting through many of the dealers' body-gaurds, Ralph finally reached the notorious drug dealing murder, Froghorn Leghorn. As a bloody battle ensued, it was clear who the winner would be.. As Ralph staggered out of the destroyed home, bloodied, yet victorious, he realized something. All the tracking, all the killing, all the bloodshed he had created, was all in vain. He realized that taking Froghorn's life didn't, and wouldn't, bring his family back. Finding himself dumbfounded, he began to trot, head down, through the field where the bad drug deal happened, almost a year ago now. He took one last deep breath, looked at the stars, and took his first step on the road. This was it he decided, he was finally going to reunite with his family again once more. As the headlights raced towards him, he heard his family in unison whisper to him "You're finally home Ralph, you're finally home."

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So this guy was making a sandwich...

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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what's red and has seven feet? the red man who had seven feet as a result of a serious genetic mutation

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How do you stop a lawn mower? You throw a baby under it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops