Q:What did the hillbilly say when he lost his tractor? A: Where is my tractor

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Jake: When was war of 1812? Harry: 1812 Jake: Oh.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do get when you cross a lion and tiger? A liger. This hybrid mammal, only observed in captivity, is the largest of all known felines and is thought to be sterile.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Yo mama so stupid, she should be worried about Alzheimer's disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I swear to god it wasnt me Dont swear to go its a sin !

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Is your plant made out of Osmium, Molybdenum, Silicon and Sulfur? Because it's going through OsMoSiS. That was just a joke, not a pick up line. Unless I was giving a pick-up line to your plant, which I definitely wasn't...

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your mother is so dumb, that she had a very poor ACT composite score.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

your mama's so ugly, she suffers from chronic deppression.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Billy was taking a stroll in the forest, when suddenly he met a bear. Billy remember what his father had taught him, and quikly lied down on the ground, pretending to be dead. The bear started licking Billy's face. Still he remained calm. The bear bit off Billys finger. Still he did not move. When the bear ate Billy's foot, he nearly panicked. But thinking of his wife and children he mustered his last remaining strenght, and did not move a muscle. If he tried to run or fight the bear he would surely die and never see them again. Then the bear ate Billys head.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Have you see stevie wonders house? No. Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the pilot suspended from flight? He was the terrorist who caused 911. OUCHH

thumb_up thumb_down -23

lol

thumb_up thumb_down -112

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you do when you're bored in Manhattan? You buy a minigun, enchant it to have limitless ammo, and then shoot it for one hour straight, killing innocent pedestrians in time square while laughing hysterically. Or maybe that's just me

thumb_up thumb_down -548

luke moore cant pull it back

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Holocaust jokes aren't funny. Anne Frankly, I do not stand for them.

thumb_up thumb_down

12

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Lacrosse

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock Knock! Who's There? Whoevers at the door you should probably go answer it.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops