What is worst about the great white shark? It's hundreds of sharp teeth, strong tail, or subtle racism? Probably the teeth.

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a cheetah? Don't do that, I'm pretty sure it's illegal for several reasons.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Less than you cuz your fat.

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3 Blondes walk into a bar. One ducks, the other two are hospitalized with mild concussions

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Have you heard of the mute man that kept telling people he could not talk? Its funny because its true.

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Q: How did the blind girl on the tight rope die? A: She fell because she has Parkinsons

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What do you call a boy with no arms and legs? Simply a pillow

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Roses are red, violets are blue, some people are gay, and so are you

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What caused the Berlin Wall to come down? Gravity

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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How many light bulbs does it take to garner an unnecessarily large crowd of a single ethnic group of people working together to simultaneously replace said light bulbs and uphold their cultural stereotypes? What the hell's a light bulb? I'm a culturally illiterate Amish man.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because it was a hammer.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to go well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that when his wife was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas, despite that the tank was full and she only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrendous car accident that caused the fuel to empty and catch fire. Mary survived but their 6 month old baby was killed.

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What did the say to the host of the pool party after he pooped? Mr. TImmons! There is chocolate in the pool!

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What do you call a Jewish dinosaur? Fossil Fuel

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Why did the chicken open door? It can't. Chickens don't have hands.

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What did the man say to the cat? I thought you were fake.

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uhyuyuyhyuuuhuyuhh rice crispies

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The sentence at the bottom is true. The sentence at the top is false.

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I was in the 74th hunger games I hid in the cornucopia until almost everyone was dead. Then I saw Katniss and Peeta so while they were distracted with night lock I pulled a rubber chicken out of my ass and beat the shit out of them till they died then I won the 75th hunger game also. They asked me to be there mocking jay but I killed them all and blew the plane up in the Capitol the end. By Adam Chebali

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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What do you call a deaf-black man that professionally generates maps of the world? A cartographer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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