I dunno, I dont grade love, I want to see you, touch you, bang you (sorry for not having the guts to use a nicer word, but I am tired and that is what I have in me now) And while that makes me sound like some hippy, I am very fucking picky about who I spend time with, and when. And I got no male friends, waste of time, why spend time with guys when I can spend time with chicks. Excuse me, just need my meds, speaking of sincerity, yeah I use medications, wont tell you what, but its well, not for my "mental disorders" I was born crazy, and I am going to die like I live: INSANE.

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Why did the man smile at his wife? Because she had a silly looking face, like a fish.

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Why was the black man so good at basketball? Because he practiced.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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Q: Why do all Asians have small penises? A: They don't.

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why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

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What's worse than being arrested? Being arrested twice

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My life is a dream in of itself.. inception???

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Do Minnesotans have accents? Oh ya, you betchya.

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Why was the jewish boy crying? i lied he was happy.

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Q: What's worse than death? A: Nothing.

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What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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Paper or plastic? Yes...

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because the burglars tied her up and gagged her before they robbed the house and she couldn't do anything until one of the neighbors found her and untied her.

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A man walks into a bar. There is no one there.

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Why did elmo jump of the cliff caus he wa depresed

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Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

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Doctor! Doctor! There's a fly in my soup! Gross.

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Knock knock Whose there? 4

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Why did Johnny lose the race he got jawed by a pack of chimpanzees

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Roses are red, Violets are not blue, they're violet, which is why they're called violets.

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What is the difference between a monkey and a pig? A monkey doesn't snort drugs.

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How do you kill a blonde? You stab her.

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What did the computer say to the mouse? Nothing inanimate objects cant talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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