If Chuck Norris was really so awesome he would come and slam my head into the keyboard.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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What did the blonde do when she missed bus 40? She waited 30 minutes for it to come back around again.

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why did the man cross the rode? He didn't he got hit by a bus

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what happens when Pinocchio says "My nose is growing"?

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. HAHAHAHA I have control of you I don't enjoy that picture.

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who did the strait guy marry? a woman

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All the planets are named after gods Ours is named after dirt....

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How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

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Ask me if I'm a kangaroo Are you a Kangaroo? No….

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was a rapist.

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What do you call a Mexican jumping fences? A really good athlete.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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How are bananas and friends alike? If you peel their skin and eat them

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What's worse than one cat stuck in a tree? Getting raped

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A disabled man runs into a bar. He notices he's not disabled and realizes his mother lied to him his whole life.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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Why is he called Donald Trump? Because he trumps a lot...

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Did you hear the joke about Hellen Kellers dad? It was very funny

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Whats black and red and dead? Nobody could tell, but they were sure that it wasn't a dead black person, so stop being racist!

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A father and his son get into an accident and are whisked away to the hospital. The father dies, and the son is brought into surgery. The doctor is rushed in, but looks at the boy and says "I can operate on this boy, his my son." How is this possible? The boy's father was a zombie.

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What is the diffrence between a guy and pie? The pie taste like fruit somethimes

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Why would a baby cry? Because it's being put through a juicer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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