- Anti Joke

Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

I'm 23, just like most people my age.

what did the policeman say to an armed robber? you can go, as long as you don't hurt my doughnuts

What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "There goes my income. I dont know how I'll support my family now, or keep my crops alive."

Why didn't Jane text James? Because she was kidnapped.

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

Why is French Fries not a Chinese Food? Answer: Because the Chinese people will get offended.

Why was the protester tied to a tree? They were tired of him protesting.

What's a Mexicans favourite video game? It depends on his/her personal preferences.

What did the dog say to the other dog? Were both dogs!

The Grinch stole Christmas, he accidentally dropped it and Christmas was ruined for everyone life sucked -shane,Adam,David and Riley go cry about it

25

A man is sitting at a bar. He stands up and goes over to these bikers playing pool. He then walks over to the bartender and says "I bet you three hundred dollars that I can pee in that bottle over there." The bartender looks at the bottle and sees there is a good five meters between the two. The bartender then agrees. The man takes out his penis and begins to pee. His pee stream goes everywhere on the bar, on the cash register, and espicially on the laughing bartender. It goes everywhere except inside the bottle. The man finishes and zips his pants. He then smiles at the bartender while handing him three hundred dollars. The bartender asks "why are you laughing you lost three hundred dollars?" Which the man replies "See those bikers by the pool table laughing?...I bet them five hundred dollars each that I could pee on your bar, on your cash register, and on your face and you would laugh and be happy." The bartender then reached under his bar and toke out his bat. He then continued to break the mans knees and then perceeded to pee on his bruised and battered face.

8=>

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn’t get to cross the road. Halfway through the crossing, it was hit by a car and turned into roadkill. Then a family of black people picked it up and turned it into fried chicken.

What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

Why was Rodney afraid of Chung Lee? Because Chung Lee is an intimidating person, capable of literally ripping your face off.

Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

[Insert hurtful, yet spontaneous comment here.]

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Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she's a woman

What is worse than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Obama

A blonde sits down in first class on a flight to Miami. That's because she had a ticket for the seat.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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