Why did the chicken cross the road? The grass is always greener on the other side.

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Q: What do you get if you combine a melody, instrumentation, rhythm, and vocals? A: Um, music, you idiot.

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when i'm away from home i sometimes get love sick, well they call it chlamydiae.

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Why do people waste there time writing Anti-Jokes Becuase they enjoy there right to the 1st ammendment and who are we to question it

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Why didn't Johnny go to the party? He was aborted as a fetus

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Roses are red, violets are blue, you are my slave, get back to work!

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why did the chicken cross the road? to form the basis of an extremly popular jokewhich would grace the schoolyards around the world for centurys to come!

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What happens if a Muslim leaves their bag on a bus? They quickly return onto the bus and get it.

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Q: What did the vomiting man say to his friend? A: BLEEEAAARRRGGHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to his wife? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the waiter in the restaurant? A: BLAAAAAARGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Leonardo DiCaprio? A: BLEEEEAAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the convenience store clerk? A: BLAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to your mom? A: BLAAAARRRGGGHH!!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Barack Obama? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!! Q; What did the vomiting man say to the King of Saudi Arabia? A: BLAAAAAAAAAAAEEEAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the bartender? A: BLLLEEEEAAAARRGHHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the funeral home director? A: BLLLEEEAAAARRRGGGHHH!!

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What do you call an Interlochen Arts Academy Student with no talent? A comparative artist

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What did the snake say to the rat?

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a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

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My friend thought that an onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I threw a watermelon at his face.

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Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

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whats up fuch you bitch

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Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely and should probably go to the hospital.

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a jew walks out of a furnace

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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Q: How do you win the tour defrance if you have one nut? A: Hard work and dedication.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? It's hard to say, as this number depends on a large number of factors including the average area covered by one lick, the pH of saliva, the solubility of Tootsie Pops, the temperature of both the saliva and the Tootsie Pop, and the amount of saliva deposited on the Tootsie Pop after each lick. This is not to mention all the manufacturing irregularities that may occur during production, and varying tongue shapes and solvency properties of saliva.

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How do u catch a polar bear u cut a hole in the ice put peas around the hole and when the bear comes to take a pea u kick it in the ice hole

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What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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What time is it? 10:58

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If a blonde and a brunette are both falling out of a building, which one will hit the ground first? The brunette, she jumped first.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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