Knock Knock Not Yet

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the boy like watching NASCAR? He didnt because he was a fish and a secret Soviet spy

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call "Bob the Builder" when he retires Bob

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the Sara fall off the swing, Because she had no arms. Knock, knock Who's there not sara.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why was the man walking in the kitchen? idk thats why i asked

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the dead baby cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

SOY COMO SOY Y ME ENCANTA SI NO ME VALORAS ESE ES TU PEDO

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did Lisa fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock! Who's there? *Definitely not Lisa.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I remember my days you know in the army, agfanifuckingstan, got dirty water, then spent a week shitting... Anyway, I was holding a grenade right? And then two of them came around and I was like "here come good boy! GOOOD BOY! Catch the ball!" And then I pulled the pin and threw it. Aww shut up, you are all like "YOU SOLDIER KILL PUPPIES!" NO THOSE WHERE KIDS! And they would have been like 15 today and been killing your men today! YOU ARE SO FUCKING WELCOME!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the blond put a condom on her hear? So, she would not get hearing ads.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the rich man say to the poor man? i feel sorry for you

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you do to vegetables to make them taste good? Nothing. They are still people, and they can't speak up for themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

alex h is such a ginger, that her hair downstairs is red.

thumb_up thumb_down -116

Yo mama's so fat that she pushed you off your computer and you couldnt write anymore "yo Mama" jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What's full of different butts and smells bad? A: An ashtray.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy? Nothing.He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a cannibal and like to burn people.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Two Muffins in an oven One muffin looks at the other muffin and says: "Oohhhh it's hot in here!". Then the other muffin says: "Oohhhh a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many Women's Rights activists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Ryan Holden is a faggot.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q: whats snoop doggs favourite weather? A: drizzle

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. I ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops