What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

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I pregnant woman wakes in the night because she had a mis-carriage.

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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Why is it wrong to love your neighbour? You would be loving a dickhead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's really irrelevant when you realize this joke is about a suicidal chicken...

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A blonde and a brunette walk into a job interview. The brunette gets the job because she is more qualified and has more experience.

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A lion walks into petsmart and asks the cashier were the dog food is. The Cashier replies your a cat and the cat food is in isle 4 you pussy

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Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

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My Muslim friend is always late to everything. We call him 9/12.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? About 144 licks but everyone gets different answers because we all lick lollipops differently.

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Why can't a T-Rex clap his hands? Because its dead

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How do you stop an alcoholic from drinking ? You leave him in the desert for 4 days, eventually he'll die from dehydration .

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

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What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

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How many dollies does little Suzie have? Enough to kill 15 men

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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Why couldn't the boy talk? He had his fathers hairy scrote was in his mouth

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Whats the differance between a pizza and a black person? a pizza can feed a family

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whats gayer than 2 homosexuals? 3 homosexuals.

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Jeez Bill, how drunk was I last night? You took my pet parakeet, threw it at my daughter's piggy bank and yelled "ANGRY BIRDS!!!!"

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Knock Knock Who's there? Eat a dick you sh!t fukk! I'm going have to ask you leave now,

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness. Oh come on in, I would love to learn more about your religion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops