A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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i am writing this because i felt like it.

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Q:Which side of a chicken has more feathers? A:The outside.

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Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs? They don't want to advertise for McWeenies.

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What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, and only one eye? Dave.

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Wanna hear a good joke? I don't.

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What do you call somebody who votes for Donald Trump? A voter. What do you call somebody who votes for Hillary Clinton? A voter.

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Show me the money! Said the man last wednesday.

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titanic vs 9/11 who would win? Well the titanic backwards is a ship which saves lives and 9/11 backwards is a building on fire spitting out airplanes

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Roses are red Violets are blue What was I saying? Oh yeah, your adopted.

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? Because it was being piloted by a loaf of bread.

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what kind of sex did ethan have? webcam sex

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Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? Yeah, he died.

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A cat and a dog walk into a bar. The bartender says "it's refreshing to see perennial enemies enjoying each others company".

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What did one dog say to the other dog? Nobody knows as humans are unable to understand the way dogs communicate.

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no, ten dead babies nailed to ten dead babies.

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Why did the boy cross the road Because he needed to get to the bus stop

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What did the boy ask the ice cream man? Can I have some ice cream?

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How do you make a baby float? Two scopes of Ice cream and two scopes of baby.....and the holocaust.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. These are facts. Good day.

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Why did the kid fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms. Why couldn't he get up? Because he had no legs. Knock, Knock Who's there? Not that kid.

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Why was the kid crying Cuz there was a frog stapled to his head

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i walked into a bar, the bar tender for some reason said get out. the bartender did not realise that i was the #1 criminal in america. but why would he, i was in cuba. ( i was seven at the time)

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This is a sentence. This is also a senctence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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