Whats the difference between a dog and a piranha? Their names.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? The one at the bottom is alive. What's worse than that? He's eating his way out. What's worse than that? He came back for seconds.

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What's faster, a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk

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Susie had no arms and no legs.. what did she get for Christmas? Cancer. Amy was riding on a swing.. who was pushing her? Not Susie.

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What do you do when a burglar breaks into your house and tries to kill and rape you and you family? Nothing, he as an AK-47 and shoots you all dead and then has sex with your corpses.

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Whats the difference between a hoover and a harley? one is a vacuum, and the other is a motorcycle.

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Why dont jews eat pork? Because the torah doesnt allow cannibalism

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? That she should train harder for her next boxing match, or find a less physically demanding hobby to partake in.

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Anti-Joke.com Post anonymously with no editing!

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Who loves George Clooney? George Clooney

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Why was 9/11 funny? It wasnt; amny people died.

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Whats worst than finding half a worm in your apple? Getting rapped by a giant scorpian

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

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A blond was walking alone down a street one night. Then she was suddenly mugged and raped. She reported her attacker but he was never caught.

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what did the girl get with her blueberry waffles? blue waffles.

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What's better than r a p e? Consensual sex.

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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aodhan hearty

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What's harder than nailing seven dead babies to a tree? My erection while doing it.

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Racial Equality

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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