A: Rock! B:Paper! C: Siccorz! D: Shoot! D: Jimmy, you alright buddy? I didn't mean for that bullet to hit you man..

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Why did the farmer go to the market? Because his butt was on fire!

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if u dislike this u r most likely depressed

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what d you call three arabs walking through the desert? dehydrated.

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This guy was walking down the street and a homeless guy asked him for money. The guy said "Why don't you get a job?" So the homeless guy began to cry because all he wanted was a dime not to be humiliated.

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what did the ninja say to the watermelon ? nothing

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a random biological stimulus compelled it to.

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Two olives are sitting on a counter, one falls off and the other one asks "Are you okay?" and he replies, "It is only a slight wound I think I will be just fine"

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What's worse than a truck full of dead babies? An alive one at the bottom eating it's way out.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree He was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree It was staples to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Peer pressure

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Why doesn't little jimmy ride his favourite bike to school any more? He was playing on the platform at at the railway station, tripped and fell across the track, at which point a seven carriage train came through at over 150 mph and cut through his upper thighs crushing everything in his legs and causing them to fall off.

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What happened to the turtle that was on land Dead

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A man powers up his computer but then realizes he's in China.

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dead battery come on down

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Ha ha. You've wasted your life, sucker!

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Have you heard the one about the fat woman and the dead baby? The woman was actually pregnant, not fat, and just had a miscarriage.

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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A: I slept in your mums bed last night. B: don't care dad

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Why was the little girl screaming? She was on fire. ~G TY

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Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

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Why did the man smell like french toast? His wife previously made him a plate of it that he ate before walking out of the house.

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ok so there was a black guy a white guy and an asian in a bar.so the asian guy says lets leave and they all exited the bar.

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lyren is a big meanyhead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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