Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died. Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because he was to fat. Why did the snake fall out of the tree? I don't know everything, Bitch!

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What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

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cats are afraid of dogs. mice are afraid of cats. elephants are afraid of mice. bf-2 fighter jets are afraid of elephants. is this true?

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Q: What do you call an aligator in a vest A: Investigator

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A: I slept in your mums bed last night. B: don't care dad

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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Why was the Asian girl doing a math problem? It was her homework that her teacher assigned her class.

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I enjoy vagina. While you enjoy penis in your mouth. Just remember God hates fags. :)

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why did chuck norris walk on water? because he's chuck norris

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Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

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What's red and invisible? No Tomatoes

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Justin Bieber

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

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What did the picture say to the man? Don't frame me

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your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

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why bouriquet can not read is book ? cause he's retarted

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why did the dog cross the street? because it saw a squirrel

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Honey, it really is such a tragedy that my sense of sight doesn't function properly. I've missed out on many beautiful things in my lifetime.

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If there are 3 apples, and you take 2, how many do you have? BLAM! Texas castle law, motherfukker!

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if Ruddell was gay what would he be? A gay prick!

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What do you call a puppy with no eyes? Ugly.

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What did Goldilocks say to the Three Bears? No one knows. Her remains were discovered three weeks later.

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So a man dipped his balls in sloppy joe sauce.

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What did Scooby Doo say to Shaggy? Raggy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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