Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait; it would be quite unsanitary to talk about my genitals in front of you.

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hard cheese

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What happens if you roll a nickel down a street in Mexico? It eventually stops and lands on its side.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They gave here a timeout, like any other sensible parent would.

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Osama bin Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden was born in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, a son of Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden, a billionaire construction magnate with close ties to the Saudi royal family.

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Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

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2 men walked into a bar. the other one ducked.

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roses are reddish voilets are blueish if it weren't for christmas we'd all be jewish

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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What did the cookie monster eat? Food

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why was the guy crying at the bar his house got bombed

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Why can all black people dance? I have no idea, quite frankly I find that to be a insensitve racial stereotype.

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What do you call a gay scientologist? His first name or last name, depending on how close you 2 are.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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A ginger man ascends to heaven and reaches the pearly gates, seconds later he wakes up in a hospital bed and realizes it was merely a near death hallucination and God isn't real.

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How did the jew win a marathon? Through hard vigorous training by running everyday and eating healthy.

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Q: Whats about two feet in width and length with purple veins throbbing at the sides? A: A midget slowly dying of frostbite

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What do you call a Gay leprechaun? A homosexual ginger man with a pretty green outfit.

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This is in Spanish when you're not looking.Just kidding, that's not possible. It's actually German.

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What does an Eagle and a Mole have in common? They both live underground. Apart from the Eagle.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Q Why did the feminist cross the road? A To suck my dick

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Bob: Say this word that I spell out. Jane: Ok Bob: N.I.N.A. Jane: Um...Nina? Bob: Correct. Now try N.I.N.O. Jane: Nino like el nino Bob: Good. How about N.I.N.E. Jane: Ninny? Bob: Hahaha wrong

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What's worse than being a replacement? An insufficient replacement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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