What do you call a black man in a Police car? A Police Officer

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What did the Blonde do when she saw train tracks? She walked over slowly, looked both ways, and crossed safely

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why is this website called anti-jokes? i don't know but it makes sense.

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What is small, black and has 18 legs? A centipede with 82 legs cut off.

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What's the color of a retarde dogs hair? 69

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Obama stumbles upon a KKK meeting. All the klansmen shake his hand and respect him because he is the President.

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I walked across a lake once. Someone said "JESUS CHRIST!" to which I replied with "YES?"

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call of duty world at war

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What's worse than blowing out 1 lightbulb Blowing out 2 lightbulbs

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Money is no object. Because I don't have any.

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Who looks like a bird and can fly to hogwarts? Dean McKee. his scar is f u c k i n g rotten

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Why couldnt Helen Keller drive? Because She was Blind you sexist asshole

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Why did the blonde ask her doctor if she could get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anus surgery is the only solution.

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Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry he used lube.

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Why did the black man wash up on shore? He was on a boating trip, deep sea fishing, with some close friends from high school. About half of a mile off shore his ship crashed and sunk to the bottom of the ocean. Sadly, not everyone lived this through this tragic accident. This man was one of them.

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What is 9 inches long, the same colour as my skin, and makes my girlfriend gag when I shove it down her throat? Her Miscarriage.

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What type of person does a black guy go to when he's sick? The doctor

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Can you help jack Off. The elephant?

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him access to food stamps

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Why did the groom have cold feet? Because his socks were slightly damp resulting in evaporation and the cooling of his feet, as well as the cold weather in December.

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how may horses can you fit in a blender i can't remember what is red and goes 100KPH a horse in a blender

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so there was two ducks in a bathtub. one duck says to the other duck, "hey, can you pass me the soap? the other duck says no.

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What has two legs and can't walk. Someone thats paralyzed!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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