What happens when you drive down the road? you get to the end of the road

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An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

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What did Charlie do when he lost his golden ticket? He killed his grandpa to get it back.

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Cold camel scrotum.

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Why are black people good at basketball? They practice

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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what happend when the little boy went on the rollercoaster ? It crashed.

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A fat man walked into a hot dog.

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Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have multi-personality disorder. Patient: Which one of us?

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-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Carl -Carl wh-wait... carl...CARL OH MY GOD!!!! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ,CARL!!!! Where have you been? Oh my god... Mom's DEAD! When we all thought you were dead she hung herself! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD, CARL! YOUR FAULT!!!!!! YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT CARL! YOU KNOW THAT? I hope you burn in hell.

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adam shagged katie lololol

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A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, pays, and leaves.

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What's the difference between a pile of rotting shit about to be re-heated in the microwave and Kevin James's new movie "The Zookeeper" ... Nothing.

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-Ask me if I'm a tree. +Are you a tree? -Yes. -Ask me if I'm an orange. +Are you an orange? -No, I'm a tree, were you listening me?

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Q: What did the bartender say to the Arab as he was walking in? A: Nothing, the bomb had already killed them both.

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If a tree falls on a woman, and there's no one around to hear it, what was a tree doing in the kitchen?

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i dont have any cones, just rods.

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how do you confuse a blonde? ask if she wants a cake...then rape her

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Why doesnt a chicken wear pants? Because its pecker is on his head.

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Q: How do you solve a problem like Maria. A: You kill her. You kill Maria.

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Girl: I wanna get yo pants. Boy: but im wearing shorts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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