WHAT DO U CALL GINGERS GABRIELLA

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock knock whos there? Underware Underware who? I underware my friends are

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what do you call a dear with no I? No I dear

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A princess decided to kiss a frog in the hopes that it would turn into a handsome prince, as she found none of her suitors to her taste. The frog was incredibly poisonous and she died of total organ failure three days later.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the anonymous name for vampire hunters? The KKK.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

How much wood could a wood chuck, chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? They don't ACTUALLY eat or throw wood. Instead, they eat grasses and insects and pretty much everything else at ground level they can get their hands on. But they can, apparently, CHEW wood, and that's where the idea for this study came in. The authors decided to use the word "chuck" to mean "chew" (I suppose because upchucking is the opposite?), and wanted to see how much wood a woodchuck could chuck. They obtained 12 woodchucks (by "various means" that are not described, I picture some middle aged guy in a suit trying to stalk one), and food deprived them to ensure they would eat the wood. Then, they fed each woodchuck a 2x4 (yes) and watched how fast they ate it. All the woodchucks ate the wood, none actively attempted to toss it, and none upchucked. They could, apparently digest the wood pretty well, and consumed it at a rate of 361.9237001 cubic centimeteres per animals per day (no error bars, and the food deprivation was nuts, 12 days, leading me to think they didn't REALLY...). They note that, while none of the woodchucks attempted to throw the wood, they probably would have, had they been capable. So the next time someone asks you, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? You answer is clear! He'd chuck 361.9237001 cubic centrimeters of wood per day, which is the wood that a woodchuck COULD chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. Our fast paced American society holds little value for birds of any species and this particular chicken was flattened by Ford F-150.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What do the Terms of Service say? A: I dont know, I didnt read them.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the girl fall from the swing? She was laughing at an anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Wife: 'what did I put into the washing machine ?' Husband: laundry

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I was reading this book one time..... and my imagination took me away to many lands and times.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why is 6 afraid of 7? 8

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why doesn't the werewolf like Ferrari's a werewolf being a mythical creature would most likely not have a preference as to what kind of car he drives because he would not exist

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why do asians get good grades? Because they study very hard and want to achieve success so they can provide for their families.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly doesn't contain pieces of fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Where does the girl with one leg work? Ihop

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red It's 4 in the morning I have full blown aids I'm going to bed now, this is boring

thumb_up thumb_down -20

marshal sterio had sex

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Knock, knock. Who's there? It's Bob. Oh hi, Bob, come on in.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q:Why did the man rob the bank? A:He needed money.... duhhh -Ryan Vallee

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops