A priest, a midget, and the toothfairy walk into a bar. Barack Obama.

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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An escalade with 5 black men crashes off a cliff and all of them die. this is terrible. an escalade seats 7.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, Ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Not Anne Frank

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What's the biggest lie you've ever told? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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what do u get when two cars collide... a bunch of mexican

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Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

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there was a guy who wanted to be bad and have bitches but he died from all the smoking and drinking and went to hell for eternal damnation

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Why is Henrik so AWESOME? Cos HE just IS!!!!

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Why did Hunter cross the road? No one cares, unless he gets hit.

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David walks into a bar. Someone shoots him. Now hes dead.

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What's the difference between men and coca-cola? I don't like coca-cola

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A priest, a paedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. And that's just the first guy

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What would Micheal Jackson do if he were alive today? THRILLER! THRILLER! THRILLERS NIGHT!

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Trampoline.

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Where's Waldo? In rehab. Waldo is in rehab.

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Snooki

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Q: What do you call men at sea? A: Sailors

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Whats big orange and likes to eat rocks? a big orange rock eater

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Q: why did the boy fall down when he was walking home? A: he was murdered.

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I can be considerate if like someone is burning to death and I was the one considerate enough to lit them on fire... Wait no, I am considerate towards my friends (which are all ladies, all men besides me are obstacles and nothing else) AAAAND my logic processor broke down. Anyway, please do me the honors, take the last message.

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A African American male and a Mexican male are both in a car, who is driving? Most likely the owner or the car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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