Q: What's blue and smells like grass? A: Blue grass.

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Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a mission for N.A.S.A.

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

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Where did Officer Blackman find the missing child? A shallow grave.

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But officer, I did come to a full stop!

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he was laughing so hard at the man who farted and burped at the same time.

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One day, John ate some food. He quickly realized he had an upsetting feeling in his stomach, so he stopped eating food and used the restroom. Then he drew a picture.

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Two people were walking down the street. One was assaulted.

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Why is your dad gay? Because he takes an enjoyment in a mans dick

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, the Krusty Krab is a fictional place, and therefore does not exist.

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Yo mama is an upstanding member of her community.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

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Reminding you of your religion. The army led by God attacked their foes at the mountains, yet had to flee because the enemy had plated steel wagons. Moral: Either God cant beat steel, or he was not there at all, its your call gents, because reading Ave Maria 50 times each time you sin, without reading the whole thing, does not even make you a Christian you FUCK (yes I can curse, you cannot)

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knock knock whos their a person

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Why did the chicken help people across the road all day? Because after past experiences the chicken decided to become a lollypop chicken and help people not make the mistakes he did

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A polish guy Is sick of being made fun of for his ethnicity, so he decides that he is going to act Italian thinking that no one makes fun of Italians. He stays home for weeks to practice this and one day walks out, up to a store and says"eh, get me some lasagna and zucchini !" the man at the store asks if he's polish.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting attacked by an evil demonic llama.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are stupid. It most likely starved to death when it got stuck in a hole.

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Why did Doris fall down the stairs? Because she was a stupid, uncoordinated old hag with no control over her bladder.

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What did the little boy get for christmas? Nothing. He's jewish

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree it can hurt you? A pool table.

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What did the gay man say to the other gay man? I like guys... cause I'm gay.

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Why did the fisherman die on a fishing trip? He had a heart attack.

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whats orange, nocturnal, and hurts to the touch? The sun or an orange owl... Depends on your preference

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops