The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.

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What is more tragic than a nice day wasted? Obesity.

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Knock Knock. Who the hells there? Nevermind.

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how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Not enough

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Last christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, you're body rejected the transplant and you died.

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what did the muffin say to the other muffin when they were in the oven? hi, im a muffin

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If rocks were people, what would you call a bunch of marble rolling down a hill? Rocks don't have the ability to be people.

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If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

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In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

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Roses are red Im adopted

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Chuck Norris drove to McDonalds and ordered a Whopper. Much to his dismay, McDonalds does not make Whoppers, because that is the signature fast-food burger of McDonald's biggest competitor, Burger King.

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what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

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What happened when your mom closed the blinds? You.

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once, my friend said hi. i said hi back

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What's faster than a black man running with a VCR? His son with the receipt of purchase as they realize VCR's are clearly outdated and must be returned right away.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue Wait Arent Violets purple?

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What happens when metal and ice collide together? The Titanic

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My mother in law fell down a wishing well, i was amazed, i never new they actually worked

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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Why couldn't the plane fly? The pilot was a muffin.

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What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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