What's cold, limp, approximately 65 pounds, and being dragged out of that pool with no safety fence over there? Not important, lets go get some Wendy's man.

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What does a casino have in common with a woman liqur in the front, and poker in the back

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what do you call a man with blue eyes??? a man with blue eyes

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Q: How do you stop a rhino from charging? A: The construction of a steel-reinforced concrete wall will work in most instances, but for more resistant cases, the use of a high-impact titanium anti-rhino charging barrier is required.

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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A man walks into a store, and says to the cashier: "I'd like to buy 6 fridges". The cashier says: "Why do you need that many fridges?" The man says: "I'm an antelope!"

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Why did Lisa let go of the monkey bars? she was being molested

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See what I did here? ;) Ladies, I just need some space okay? Damn Space Invaders... Ijustmetthespaceinvaderstheytookmyspace << DOUBLE MEANING!

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Q: What did the Miracle Whip say when the refrigerator door was opened? A: Nothing. Miracle Whip cannot speak.

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what do you do when a dog bites your ear off? you see that you are bleeding then you scream.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because no cars were coming.

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What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

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How did the Mexican get into the United States? He applied for a Visa and was granted authorization to live and work in the United States on a permanent basis.

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12 in general

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why did katy fall off her bike?

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Bob: "Did you eat my sandwich?" Alex: "I am your sandwich."

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What does Ke$ha feel like when getting up in the morning? Shit because she has a nasty hangover.

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What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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"Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave."

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muffled-thud muffled thud who's there? Jeremy Beadle.

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Roses are red..... violets are blue...... I have a gun get in the van

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What did the cancer patient do during Willow Smith's "Whip My Hair"? -Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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