A kid walks into a bar. He leaves wasted.

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What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

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Knock knock Violets are blue Helen Keller The Holocaust.

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what do you say to the preacher when he walks into church? i dont fu***** know, im jewish.

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Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

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What do you call to guys who gave gave each other HIV? Blood-Brothers

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gay marriage.

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What does Spiderman do everyday? Aunt May

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A kid falls off a cliff and dies. Who cleans them up? A bear.

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There once was a boy walking down the street. He got shot in the head. He died.

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Why did Billy start crying? Because he was abandoned at a young age- and was bullied since childhood in the orphanage.

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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Why was the little girl sad? An elephant shat on her face

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What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

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"hey bro" "WHATS UP" "nothin..... I heard you had your first bj yesterday." "YEAH!!" "how'd it taste?" ........

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have you seen hellen kellers new treehouse? no well neither has she

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When do scientologists go to church? When they are done looking at porn.

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How do you know if a woman is cheating on you? If you catch her cheating on you

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Why was the blonde confused? Because someone was dressed in a chicken costume throwing pinecones at her.

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Where did the moon get its degree? Unfortunately, they haven't installed any colleges for planetary satellites yet.

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Fat people are harder to kidnap!!

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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