If a prisoner got one visitor who would he ask to see An Eskimo

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A Blonde, a Jew, a Rooster, and a Mexican walk into a bar and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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Why are aspirins white? Because the creator of aspirin didn't feel it necessary to color the pills.

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Q: How many babies does it take th paint a barn? A: I dunno, how hard are you throwing them?

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Racism is like black people... It should not exists...

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how do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker face

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Schroedingers cat walked into a bar... and it didnt.

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waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

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Hey, are you 5? Ya I am 5 inches deep in your MOM!!

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whats the difference between a white man and a black man? I like cake

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Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

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Dear diary, its day 230, the apple supply's are running low, the doctors are closing in, the dentists have been chanting "its time to go to the dentist" all day, I wont be able to hold them back much longer, help.

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Jesus walks on water, Humans are 70% water, I can walk on humans, Therefore i am 70% Jesus.

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-What did the policeman say to the boy? -Hello.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

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What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

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Your mother smells so bad that people make comments about it behind her back, and one person mailed her some soap.

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what has hair? Organisms, or at least most do.

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if life gives you lemons. squeeze one into your moms eye.

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I am the sun. You are the moon.

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How many Somalians can you fit in a Shopping trolley? Well rather unfortunately there is a lack of Shopping Centers in Somalia due to its corrupt government and its general poverty in comparison to a 1st world country, needless to mention the civil wars. I would guess 7 though.

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(Insert joke here)

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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