Baby seal walks into a club... what a tragedy

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Q. How many grains of rice can you fit in an egg? A. Fire extinguisher.

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Sometimes I hope into bed and pretend I'm a carrot!!!!

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What's the difference between apples and oranges? You can't wash a window with a spade.

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Friends are like potato, when you eat them die.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? Because the numerous failed attempts of crossing over the years deemed it almost impossible, therefore, chicken could no longer see the point in life.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and dedication.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger at Terminator: Gaynysis (or whatever I wont bother checking that out) YA NEED TO REMUV THE QUANTANAMO TRANSLACATOR TO RELOCALIZAYSEE THE INTERDEEMENENTIONAL MAYTREX! Yes, Pops but what about the time travel Paradox? YOU NEEED TO REMOV THE CRISTAL PALARDOXAL WARCALIBREITOR IN ORDA TO DESINSTONYSE THE DEEMENTIAL CORDALOXEY! Me: *Leaving the cinema* Moral: If you thought the trailer was like "meh", then you will soon realize it was the best part off the movie... The only part that is meh, and while I can honestly say I dont understand shit about how timelines work in Terminator (The creators dont do it either) Having Arnold Fucking Swartsnigger go with the Geek lingo DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! To explain things to me, NOTHIIIIING!

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a slice of tomato A really bad joke

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A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got into the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Q: How do you kill an Asian? A: Deprive of calculator or shoot it.

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What's the difference between a dog and a urologist? A dog is a domesticated canine, and a urologist studies urine.

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Haha

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In Soviet Russia... People Die for Voicing their Opinions

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted. You're adopt...wait what?

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What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

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Q: What did the rectum say to the Anus? A: "Your a waste."

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2 Jews walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks and call a cab to get home

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What do a bench and a mexican have in common? (don't worry it's not racist) You'll find both in a park. (I lied)

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Knock, Knock! Who's there? Matt. Matt, who? You're friend Matt that you texted twenty minutes ago telling me to come over.

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If a man dies in China, Does anybody care?

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Women's sports

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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