Why was Jim gay? Because he liked penis.

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What do an elephant and a plum have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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Why was the fat man removed from the restaurant? When his date didn't show up he started and crying and proceeded to stab himself with a fork

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Two men are walking down the street. They both don't make eye contact and continue walking.

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knock knock whos there open the door and find out

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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What is white, and hurts when it falls from a tree? -tom

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie Thum thump Who's there Bethany Hamilton

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what did the lamp say to the hand? You turn me on

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why do women wear perfume and make-up? 'cause they're ugly and smell bad

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Your mom is so stupid, she decided to go back to school.

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When life gives you lemons you have lemons.

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Your mom is so old, that when somebody told her to act her age, she died.

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What's the difference between basketball and an elephant? One's a sport and one's a large African animal.

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ill have a no.9 a n.9 large

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Why did the city disappear? Someone nuked it

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What's worse than anti-jokes? The holocaust.

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I was just thinking in something I swear ... I am still Just, wait, i'll be good

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics? Not being disabled.

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What do you call a black man wearing tights? Rick

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was an avocado

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Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 brutally raped and murdered 32.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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