Q. What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? A. An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

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How many cupcakes are there in the world joe How many? I don't know I was asking you.

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A girl asks a guy are you finish. The guy says no I'm British.

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What does 10 dead babies in a microwave look like? I dont know. I was too busy masturbating.

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When is a door not a door? When its ajar.

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what is red with 2 legs? half a cat

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Potato salad

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What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

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Q. Whats blue and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket Q. whats green and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket in disguise.

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A married couple lies in bed, making out. They must really love each other.

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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I cut my pubes, Now they itch a lot.

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Your neighbor. Ok, Come in.

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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knock knock whos there banana banana who knock knock whos there orange orange who orange you glad I didn't say banana

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What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

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what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

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I went to the local RSPCA office today....it's tiny, you couldnt swing a cat in it.

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What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

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2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

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72

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What's the same between grapes and squirrels? They're both purple, except for the squirrel.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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