-Why didn't a girl cry after she fell down with her bike? -Because a handlebar pinned her lung.

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I like to use vasoline during sex. I put it on the doorknob so she can't escape.

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A Canadian walks into a bar, he rubs his head, steps around the bar, and walks into a bar. He has a great time hanging out with his friends and having a few drinks

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If you see a person falling down your balcony, Say cya later!

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Roses are blue Violets are red Is that really What I just said?

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Boy, do I love chicken strips. Sometimes, when I’m home alone, I’ll take some chicken strips fresh out of the oven and rub them in my scalp. It doesn’t do much for my hair health, but I like the way they feel running through my strands of hair. The flakey coating, smooth white meat, and warmth. Yum.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I really hate poultry related jokes.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What does an Asian person with 3 eyes have? A birth defect.

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? the bear got shot

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What did one wall say to the other? Walls don't talk.

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What did the 5 year old girl ask Santa for Christmas? A pony.

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What happened when a boy threw a ball at the wall? It hit him in the face

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Jewish guy walks into a bar. He owns the place.

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There was a fat man crying. I just told him the local Mc D's was arson attacked.

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Statistically 9/11 Americans wont get this joke. But 7/7 British will.

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's a woman.

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Why did the man walk into a bar? Coz he felt like it.

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My grandfather died in a concentration camp. He fell off a guard tower and broke his neck.

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Why do girls enjoy listening to Justin Biebers music? Because he sings moderately well and appeals to a younger audience.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. This of course is impossible, as his ailments prevent him from walking.

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Whats the difference between a Cadillac and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

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Whats worse then finding a winning lottery ticket? Probably Everything

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why did the chicken cross the rode? so it can get the seed that is between the two yellow lines, and then he walked back without getting hit by a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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