What did my dad say when i knocked over the christmas tree? nothing, my father is dead

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How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I am pregnant And it's your baby

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What do you call an elephant mixed with a rhino? A freak.

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Cry me a river. then try and build a bridge, fail, and walk away frustrated

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yo mama is so fat she broke a branch off the family tree

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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Two women are sitting on a park bench, minding their own business, saying nothing.

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The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

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How does a woman scare a gynecologist? By pulling human entrails out of her purse when he asks her to provide insurance.

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what did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? AIDs then he got mugged on the way home from the hospital

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What happened to the boy who stalked the pretty girl? His father raped him and he died in a house fire induced by his overwhelmingly sick love for the taliban

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- knock knock. ... - knock knock. ... - heey! ... (There is nobody at home.)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He saw a bottle of Faygo on the other side.

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Why did the blond have a wierd look on her face? Because she was ugly

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Knock knock, Come in...

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As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

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what do you call a deer with no eyes? no eye deer! -jpow

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A bear walks into a bar. Mauls every one in it, then is shot to death by animal control.

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Roses are red Violets are? blue Lets eat poo I know you want to

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what do you call a man with a bullet hole in his leg? A man who needs t see a doctor.

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2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

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roses are black violets are grey... im color blind sorry

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What is the worst joke ever? This one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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