Why didn't the boy eat his vegetables? he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's worse than finding gum stuck on the bottom of your desk? A clown following you around carrying a shotgun and throwing toothbrushes at you.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

What do Laura Bush and 9/11 have in common? George Bush did them.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

An eggo waffle had three friends that he will be inviting to his Superman birthday party. WHich friend will get the first piece of cake? Nobody the party was canceled.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I had sex with my mother in law

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock knock, Whos there Nig.ger Nig.ger who Fu.ck all nig.gers.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the ship crash into Italy? Because a woman took over driving it!

thumb_up thumb_down

Why do you touch yourself at night? Because I do too

thumb_up thumb_down +10

If u read thus your awsome .... And if your a emo kid with rainbow hair and a 3 inch penis then NO your bad

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the boy find I'n his water? Ice

thumb_up thumb_down +7

whats funnier than a dead baby? many things. a dead baby is a very sad and tragic thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red, Violets are rare because of the irreversible damage to our ecosystem in recent years.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walks into a casino, and when he walks out his family has no home.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what did the little girl find when she opened the freezer in her basement? food.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A Black guy and a Mexican are in a car. Who is driving? The black guy. Its his car.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Kevin stinks signed Taggart. Is this how you do it!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the chicken cross the road it didnt

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the orange say to the lemon? "Hello"

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Two black guys are in a car. Who is driving? One of the black guys.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the pedofile say to the little girl? Nothing. She was properly supervised by her parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Needless to say,

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the old lady have a heart attack? She got raped by a giraffe.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops