- Anti Joke

What's funnier than a Laffy Taffy joke? Almost anything.

why did the chicken cross the road? because he happened to cross the road

What's the difference between katchup and musterd A very long list of things that I don't want to read

whats a cross between michael jackson and arnold shwarzanegga? Michaelwasanigga

There once was a boy. On his birthday, he got a small puppy. The puppy was white and had big eyes. Boy loved his puppy and the puppy loved the boy.

Nero: Farewell to my past last part aka No more forced psychiatric evaluations for me. My psychiatric evaluator asked me why I consider myself a souless demon and not a man. My answer was: My mothers name was Maria, my brothers name is Kristoffer and my real father (which I only met once which was meaningless) is a Chatolic priest. Then I showed her (my psychiatric evaluator) my passport, my name is not Nero Angelo, nor whatever my parents might have told others but rather Angelo Nero. So lets conclude shall we? Nero Angelo = Angel black. and some Capcom shit. Angelo Nero = Says on my birth certificate, means Black Angel. Kristoffer= The sacrifice of Christ my half brother. Ricardo my non real father = which has nothing to do with Josef... Thank F*CK! So yeah, some of you might recognize me, but I have not met any family members the last 16 years, so if you where planing to judge me the next time you see me, you better run instead, because I will... "pacify" you for just watching while my parents waterboarded me, for just standing there while my mother tried excorzise me away while beating the crap out of me. I WILL "remove you, forever" the only family I got, are my 2.755 or so members of my movement Neronism, and my wife`s family, this is not a threat.... ...Its a promise to me, and to you. Make no mistake though, Neronism has over 60.000 members worldwide, but I dont care about them, enough is enough. Maria: My birthmother which claimed long before I was born that she was a virgin and as thus that she was giving birth to the anti-christ. (me, thanks mom) Then my psychiatric evaluator asked me if I truly believed I was a demon, where I told her that "human" is just a term, and that I know that calling myself a demon is just a way of coping with my past. She suggested that now that my troubles/parents are over/dead, that my need for her or anyone evaluating me further is over and she jokingly rated me a 100 percent "fresh" when I asked her if I was still a rotten tomato, so I am officially out from the "realm" of psychiatry (which I was forced to after killing my father in self defense). Its been fucking 27 years since, bt finally I am fucking happy... And the hell if there is humanity left in me... >:) M.Biso... I mean Nero. Merry christmas everybody, I know mine is not so bad after all... ill probably spend more time here, but farewell for now, and finally I can scratch the shit out of my ortopedic arm without getting PTSD`s of my non real father tearing my head off... AAAAAAAAAND all is good... Except the fucking itch...

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I thought I was ugly But then I met you

Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

Man 1: What kinds of phones do snails use? Man 2:I don't know, I don't think they do. Snail: The snail said nothing, snails don't speak.

How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

Whats green? Mountain Dew.

What do you call a black man that goes to college? A student..

A Brunette walks in to the docters office and says" Docter it hurts when i poke my self." She then pokes her arm and screams in agony. Then She pokes her leg and screams in agony. The Docter says "Are you really a brunette'' She replys "no im a Blonde." Docter says " oh then you have broken your finger"

whats worse than a 6 dead babies in a dumpster? You were babysitting them.

Hey are you sleepy? Good, cause I just saw Jeff The Killer and Slenderman outside your window. Good night!

roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers who are you?

What's black, white, and red all over? Half of a dalmatian.

Why couldn't the kid get into see the pairate movie? It was rated PG-13 and he was only 11. Plus he had no money and his mother didnt want him watching movies like that.

What did the green grape say to the purple grape? BREATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

why did the girl cross the road? to commit suicide

What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

Yo momma's so dirty that she washes her hands with anti-bacterial soap.

"Hey look, mommy! I'm a whale!" (child proceeds to pull a shotgun and create a blowhole in his head)

What was the homeless guy doing on the side of the rode? Begging for money.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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