What did Dave tell me on Tuesday? "It's Wednesday, dumbass."

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What did Sally get on her 18th birthday? Herpes

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What do you call a black man and an Asian working in a field? You politely ask their names and then use them; their colour is of no consequence.

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A guy comes home from work every day to his wife, who always seems miserable. He decides that her unhappiness is making him unhappy aswell, so he sits her down to talk things over. It turns out she is depressed because she can't get a job and the back wheels of her wheelchair are rusting.

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roses are red violets are blue heres the oven now where the **** is the jew

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How do get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

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What's black, white and sings the intro theme song for "Thomas the Tank Engine" while tap-dancing? There probably isn't anything that does that.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was locked safely in the chicken coop.

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What did the otter say to the pumpkin? I'm so glad I'm a walrus

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theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

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A man walks into a bar. Itwas an metal bar so the man was hurt.

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Whats funnier than 24. ... DEEZ NUTS.

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How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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Q. How do you make an atheist appreciate life? A. Break his legs.

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What starts with P and ends with orn? Porn

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your titties super glued to a triceritops' as cheeks while the triceritops has chronic diahrea

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have woman's rights Knock knock Who's there? NOT Sally, she's in the kitchen

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Whats the difference between a car and a dead child? I don't have a dead baby in my basement.

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When does Adolf Hitler get horny? When his hormones start at it when looking at women.

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It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

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A Christian, a Sunni Muslim, and a Shi'a Muslim walked into a government building. Turns out, they were Lebanese, so this was a normal occurrence. Thus, to draw any humor from it before first taking into account the weaknesses of your own government would be both unwise and unfair.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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Your dad is so fat, that eventually he got on Biggest Loser and ended living a very successful life.

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Hillo, its Spodermen, teiling u i fuked ur bich.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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