Justin Bieber is so gay he dates girls

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What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for her birthday? A S.T.D

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have you seen the movie, Constipated? Never mind, it hasn't come out yet.

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Why was the kid crying? Cause he had a frog stapled to his face.

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knock knock. Who's there... Mormans

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

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There is no "i" in "team," but there are two in "indigo."

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Why didn't the magician pull a rabbit from a hat? Despite his choice of occupation, magic tricks are rarely appropriate in hostage situations.

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why did the semen cross the road? i wore the wrong sock today.

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When life throws you lemons what should you do? Take cover.

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Who's Micheal Jackson?

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what is the tastiest veggie? veggies aren't tasty.

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The horse said "nay."

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Why was the Mexican running? He was being chased by border patrol!

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What is the difference between a plum and an elephant? One is purple, and not an elephant.

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Two muffins are in the oven, One says "Damn it, so hot in here," The other one says " Wow! Muffin which can talk!"

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What's utter destruction but still has wheels? A car that was crushed at a junk yard, after the Bridgestone tires were removed for another car that could still use them

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what did the homeless boy do when he saw a cup of water? threw it in someones face

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? When 6 was younger, he was made fun of by all the bigger numbers. Everyday after school he would go home and wonder why he was made fun of. Was it his looks? How tall he was? The pain and suffering never stopped. He thought of suicide every day he got home from school. One day his mom got home from work and found 6 bleeding in the shower. She thought he was dead. She hurried him to the hospital where he was barely kept alive. After months of recovery, he started going back to school. The bullying never stopped, they started calling him a loser who should have died. He got older and depressed as a teenager. He got ahold of alcohol and began drinking. He went to meetings and got over his addiction. 10 years later he meets up with 7. It takes him back to his horrible childhood with the big numbers. Every time 6 sees 7, he gets reminded of everything. 7 had also murdered someone in front of 6.

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Why was 2 afraid of 3? Because 345!!!!!

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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A black man, a jewish man and a white man walk into a bar. The black man shoots the bartender, the white man takes the money and the jewish man holds the customers hostage.

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i drive all the time its no big deal open the door and get behind the wheel

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A man with Down's Syndrome walks into bar. Bartender asks, "why the long face?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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