A dog walks into a bar and falls on his butt beacause dogs cant walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What did the father say to his son? ....nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Dude, you were so drunk last night that you got in a terrible car accident, and now you are paralyzed from the waste down for life.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Part 1 - Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms! Part 2 - Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy!

thumb_up thumb_down +124

If the 49ers won the superbowl

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: Why do geese fly in a V? A: It's more aerodynamic.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock Knock. Whos there? I am the danger! Danger who? I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

we all know sammi has a penis

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is worse than throwing your baby in the river? Letting Moses out of Egypt

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a gay man? Phil Krahn

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses r red, Violets r blue, u think id eva cry ova u?? I told u i luvd u, n u believed it true... Well guess wat baby? U got played 2 B)

thumb_up thumb_down -36

How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to severely injure a human.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Easter? A: Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, flotaing in the sea? Someone who will drown very soon.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long face?'. The horse does not answer as it cannot speak or even understand english. It was later destroyed by the government.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock, Knock. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did Snichols do when he murdered his ex-partner who became a lesbian? The ass dance.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the black boy get for Christmas? A bike his parents bought him.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Dad, if I say shit or somethin... Dad: FALCOWN PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANCH!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops