Why didn't Timmy have a girlfriend ??? Because he's a Fruit bowl !

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Committing Suicide #YOLO

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Why are blondes stupid? They are not. Its just in America society has been given that impression through inaccurate and crude jokes.

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why was the kid sad? his fish died. he had to flush it down the toilet.

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asparagus

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A dog walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out as animals are not allowed.

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A girl and a boy where sitting on a couch together. The boy told the girl politly that she hass gained a significant amount of weight and should lose it. She then pulled out a candy bar in her back pocket and shoved it down his throat, to which he suffocated, because she was on her period when to comment was made.

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whats sad about justin bieber getting hit by a car and dying ? I wasnt driving the car that hit him.

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why did the boy eat his lunch money? it was his lunch!

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hello juliano and guss. having fun?

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How did the black guy survive the bus crash? At the time of the bus crash, it was a segregated community, therefore no black people were allowed on buses.

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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What's red and invisible? No Tomatoes

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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Why are there no more monkeys jumping on the bed? I shot them all.

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A rooster lays an egg on the tip of a roof. Which side does it fall to? Roosters don't lay eggs

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I can't see my forehead

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Yo Momma's sooo fat that the speed of light at her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s.

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A monk went to a bar. He soon came out because he realized he didn't have cash because he left his wallet in his other robe.

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What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

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How many worms dose it take to eat an apple? One.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because it was holding hands with the monkey. Why were the monkey and the sloth holding hands? Because they were best friends.

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After tesco's horse burgers, what's next? My lidl pony

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what is the best way to start a car? put in the key and turn it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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