I tell the Doctor I'm having pains in my chest. He says that sounds serious and admits me immediately to the hospital.

Q. Why did the girl with no legs fall off her bike? A. Somebody threw a refrigerator at her.

I have read and agreed to the Terms of Service

What do you call a black man in space An astronaut

wsde

What salad was served in the salad bar on the Titanic? Probably a selection of green leaves, radishes, cucumber, sliced hard boiled egg and cherry tomatoes, topped with cress, mixed seeds and a delicate dressing.

Why can't we see the wind? Because no one likes you...

why did the panda and puppy get into a fight? how should i know, you tell me.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

What did the little calculator grow up to be? Nothing

69

BTW ANders she is gone, read below, seriously! And your mother is ugly, but she is so kind to me, so ill be nice to her too... Seducing a LONE WIDOW ME 32 years she... 180 and always blushing around me? Thats gonna be hard... No seriously, I kissed her on the cheek the other day, she moaned... And she aint that old... looks like a old 40 year old. ANDERS! AAAANDEERS! CHATTERTON!!! Anyway, tell your mom, that way Ill just need to enter, kill you, and you know... make her feel like she is ... 77 again? Nah she is ahornbag so she must be younger, wont kiss her on those lips though ANDERSSSss because she smokes, the others? Sure, Ill take a pic of her squirting! From the guy that taught you how to make any woman squirt... YOu fucking asshole!

An English man, Irish man and a Scotsman walk into a bar. And have a wonderful evening of multicultural entertainment and fun together.

What's five miles long and has an IQ of 40? A democrat parade.

Vagina-Boob

Why did Jimmy eat the apple? Because he was obese and needed to eat healthy because his doctor suggested it.

Here is a nursery rhyme: Jane is a scruff, she has a head full of nits. She also had pain in her great big... Now don't get excited. Don't be mislead. Because all that Jane had was a pain in her head!

A man runs into a bar, sits down in a hurry and demands a beer from the bartender. The bartender looks at him wearily, but shrugs, pours him a beer and sets it down in front of him. The fat naked man then drinks the beer and leaves.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 9/11

What's better than getting second place in the paralympics? Having legs.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms

Why is Chuck Norris' beard so great? because he grooms it daily.

What if someone sold your socks to a Jew? I would blackflip through the air and shit on his chest.

Whats blue and fuzzy? blue fuzz.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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