Two ducks are in a bathtub. One duck says, "Hey, pass me the soap." The other duck says, "What do I look like, a type writer?"

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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Why did the girl commit suicide? She has been abused severely for seven years by her pet kangaroo.

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I know where you live. No seriously im looking at you through your window. 80% of you just checked. 90% of you didnt realize i just ended that statement with a question mark. 100% of you just checked gotcha

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What is the quickest way to a mans heart? Through his chest with a stick.

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Knock knock Who's There? My name is Jeff

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what did the Nazi do when his Jewish rabbit died? silly Nazi rabbits don't have religion

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Why did the Mexican fail his english test? Because he had studied for an inadequate amount of time and proceeded to fornicate with many women, also preventing him from sleeping for the advised 7-8 hours a night.

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whats the differnce between a white boy and a black boy? skin color

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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If I were in a room with you hitler, stalin, i would shoot hitler and stalin because they are horrible people.

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What kind of cheese is not you cheese? Not your cheese.

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Did you hear about the Polish submarine? It was one of five in the Polish Navy.

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whats worse than bitting into ur apple and finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just murded noddy and his family who were making a nice little home in there

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What is the best way to burn Jews Light them on fire

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Why cant helen keller drive Because shes a woman

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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What's big white and can't fly? -Half of America Whats big brown and can't fly? -Crap

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Bradley is Sexi;P just kidding!!! fatty

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if you like, i will tell my crush maddy i love her, just kidding i wont do shit.

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why was the frog sad..... because it had a science lesson with the year 10s about the insides of animals

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LO AND BEHOLD!

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A man gets a new job working for his boss. Later, he beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later concluded that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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