What's the difference between and Jew and pizza?!?!?! Jews are people and pizza is a food product :D

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whats worse than 4 dead monkeys? 5 dead monkeys.

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If life gives you lemons, don't accept them because you have a citrus allergy.

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What did the little boy get for christmas? Nothing. He's jewish

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What does a chocolate bar and a dolphin have in common? Nothing

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a duck walks in to a gay bar and asks for a stick they asked where he wanted it before he could answer he was rapped

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So this guy walks into a bar. As soon as he gets in, a drunk dude punches him in the face ! The dude was drunk enough to not know what he was doing, but still sober enough to hit the guy hard ! So the guy had a cerebral commotion and died 2 days later.

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Yeah, me too. The car just ran straight through the stoplight and it was all over...

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"Hey want to hear the best knock-knock joke ever." "Sure." "Ok you start." "Knock-knock." "Whos there?" "..........."

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How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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A woman walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Yes ma'am?". She orders a gin and tonic, but the bartender had gave her two without realising, and so she pays for one only. She starts to contemplate whether to tell the bartender about his error or to just leave it and have a free glass of gin and tonic. However as she is a christian, gluttony is a sin, and she already had enough to drink today. However, she feels the need to have a relaxing drink today, because as she was on her job as a receptionist, when a customer tripped on the last step of the stairs behind her and broke his neck, dying instantly, which deeply saddened her. This later led her to indulge on 3 glasses of red wine in the staff room. She finally concludes after a few moments pondering, to not tell the bartender about his error, and pampered herself with two relaxing glasses of gin and tonic. Her dead, mutilated body was later found in the rubble of a car after a head-on collision with a truck.

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what did the duck say to the other duck Quack

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Why did the black kid with one leg read the Iliad? Because it was part of his homework assignment?

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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How do you know your cat is gay? Other cats have buttsex with him

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To be, or not to be. That is not the question. The question is, what time is it?

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What's grey and can't fly? A castle

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what do you call an icy road? dangerous.

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The Charlotte bobcats.

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Why did the chandelier fall on the little boy? Hell if I know, the only person who saw it got hit by a chandelier and died.

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Two members of the KKK walk into the bar into a bar. The bartender asks, "what do you think of Obama?" One of the KKK members says "he is my President, I respect him."

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What sport do all black people like? This is impossible to answer because not all black people like the same sport.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? It's Jeff. Hi there Jeff, come in, the doors open.

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Knock, Knock. Who's There? To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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