Yo mamma is SO fat, she is classified as fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a guy with a bomb strapped to his chest flying a plane? A pilot with a bomb strapped to his chest

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the zombie say to the woman? I like turtles.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what is the vent wound on the ladies that can never heal???

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a bunch of hobos having sexual intercourse? A soup kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down -1

"So, how's life in North Korea?" "Well, I can't complain."

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Whats the square root of pie? Pies are round.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Three men walk in to a bar, One ducked

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse than getting Ebola? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -3

trump and hillary are both stranded on an island, who survives? america

thumb_up thumb_down -16

when do you go to heaven? Never

thumb_up thumb_down -246

Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why do black people ride Septa? Because septa is an affordable and convenient means of transportation.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the homeless man get for christmas? NOTHING, he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Imagine: You are trapped in a prizon cell with no doors, no windows, no furniture and completely sealed in with nothing. What do you do? Stop imagining!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the African want for breakfast? Ebola cereal

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do owls and cars have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a purple apple? Bruised.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A muslim walks onto a plane. He goes to 13C as that is his seat designated on his ticket.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

planned on writing you all an antijoke decided i wouldn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

What's similar about a black person and an apple? Nothing, an apple is a fruit. It has nothing to do with hanging from trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what does an adhd kid that causes all kind of trouble get? a buncha ass whoopins and some meds to dope his ass up

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops