What's green and has wheels? Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

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which one is easiest

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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How many licks did it take for the little boy to get to the center of the Tootsie Pop? Three, and then he choked and died.

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Why did the man cross the road? To get to the homeless shelter.

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asians have slitted eyes lol

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Whats worse than missing the bus? Having the short bus picking u up

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What did the Carbon atom say to the Oxygen atom? Nothing, basic elements are incapable of speech. It requires a culmination of many atoms to form a living human capable of speaking to another human.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet. The man who wrote this, Was high as shit.

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Whats worse than a dead baby at the bottom of a trash can? Two dead babies. Whats worse then that 5 dead babies and worse then that? Im starting to have suspicions of you being a mass murdurer of small children.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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Why did the plane crash? The Pilot Wash a Loaf of Bread

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What's black and white and red all over? A greyish red object.

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What did the worm say to the butterfly? Nothing, worms don't talk.

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Knock knock Who's there? A very long space I see what you did there

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says: both your legs are broken in 10 places, you will never walk again.

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(Knock, knock) A: Who's there? B: Orange A: That is impossible. Oranges are inanimate objects and, therefore, cannot speak.

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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What did the cannibal order at McDonalds? Big Mac, extra pickle, hold the mayo.

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This is sparta No this is patrick

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Q:what do you call someone who spends 7 hours a day playing video games? A: Someone who takes pride and joy from gaming

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A spanish man, a french man and an italian man sat at a pub. And they realise no one can speak english properly.

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Exactly what?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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