Knock knock. Who's there? Get in the van, or I'll kill you.

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What does 2 + 2 equal? 4

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What do you call a dinosaur that doesn't lay eggs? A male dinosaur

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? we are both lawyers

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Q: What did the Miracle Whip say when the refrigerator door was opened? A: Nothing. Miracle Whip cannot speak.

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Why did Emily sit in a lonely corner? Because she just wanted to okay!

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Two lions are walking down the street. One lion says to the other, "where is everybody?"

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your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

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An Irish man, an English man, and a Scottish man are standing on the edge of a cliff. The English man and the Scottish man both fall of. The Irish man calls the authorities to alert them of this tragic misfortune.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Crossing Guard union had reached a collective agreement and they had returned to work and it was safe to cross once again.

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What's brown and sticky? Anal

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Why didnt the boy go to school the next day? Because he killed himself due to bullying

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What did the fish say when it was being fried? That's crazy, fish can't talk.

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how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

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If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

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What do you get when you cross an alligator and a kangaroo? Nothing. An alligator is a reptile and a kangaroo is a mammal, therefore it is impossible for them to breed.

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Why was 8 afraid of 9? Because 9 bullied him until he became anorexic.

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A baby walks into a bar, not long before it leaves out of the bar.

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What's white and horny? a unicorn.

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Why did Michael Jackson become white? Because he likes to molest children.

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Ludwig van Beethoven, John Coltrane, John Lennon, and Justin Bieber are out for lunch at a taco stand. The owner calls the police, and Justin Bieber is arrested for digging up corpses.

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Q. what do you call mexican stoners A. baked beans

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What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

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I going to the kitchen to make a #sandwich.....oh wait this isn't twitter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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