I milked the cow, but no gas came out.

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What's red and invisible? We don't know that it's red.

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Wanna hear something funny? Sure. Okay,cool

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A man walks into a grab and go restaurant and asks the man if he can stay, the man replies "yes."

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yo mama is so fat, she's obeise

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Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

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Womens Rights.

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Canada AYY

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Its Eliza, hope you are still there, would you mind getting here sooner? This site is not safe, besides its cold here, I mean send somebody else if you got to, I might look frail but Nero taught me a thing or two, so I can honestly say that Nero taught me better than you guys just in case. Funny you say there is no code, yet add three, yeah you better expect nothing "fancy", Mr.Torture dungeon master. Honestly though I do not blame you, and if I really meant you where a psycho, I would not have agreed/asked you showed up, I am serious I need to get out of here.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Astyanax mexicanus, a subspecies of Mexican tetra that lives in a subterranean habitat and as such has structurally degenerate eyes that have atrophied over the course of evolution.

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How do you kill a jew? Same way you would anyone

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Im a dog

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Who invented apple? God

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Q. What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? A. Matt

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try to go to heaven because his girlfriend Margaret was cooked into chicken sandwhiches, and he had no kids and he didn't want to marry someone else, so he tried to get ran over but no cars hit him so he cooked himself. AND so he became KFC-Style chicken wings. BUUUT since no one ate them, he grabbed them up from heaven and commented on how delicious he was and proceeded to eat more and then exploded, sending him to heaven's heaven. But it was just a dream. And Margaret had to do laundry some more today because he freaking caused a urine tsunami. You're welcome.

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Lol... (wow you made me type lol), "like it is nothing to be ashamed of?" Your eyes are really beautiful, honestly probably the most beautiful eyes I have seen... And no, I am not talking about your bewbs.

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Some really old band covered Dirty Bit. But the cut out the Dirty Bit part so its just the Time of life part

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Q: How did the woman die in the black neighborhood? A: She suffered a fatal heart attack while visiting one of her friends. Everyone mourned their loss.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Whats green and smells like bacon................. Green bacon

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Wanna know something fishy? A fish

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, wanna f***.

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A woman walks out of the kitchen, she gets slapped by her sexist husband.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops