What's worse than finding out you have cancer? Not much, that would not be so great.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Your momma is so fat that she is on a diet and exercises regularly.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? I don't know. He couldn't open it.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I'm gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Nazi jokes are not funny. ANNE FRANKly they're mean! See What i did there?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Once upon a time there was a king who had a daughter. She eventually grew up and contracted aids got run over by a bus and shit her pants..

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Roses are red, Muslims are brown, When I see them swimming, I hope that they drown!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

John went to the shop to purchase a can of coca cola. He left the shop with a can of coca cola.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are red, violets are blue, some people are gay, and so are you

thumb_up thumb_down +21

two ducks run into each other........ then they walk away

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Holy Fish Sticks Batman! Batman and Robin were at a church and saw a priest eating fish sticks.

thumb_up thumb_down

what do you call a black who stabbed your entire family? it all depends on what his name happens to be

thumb_up thumb_down -28

The Rock: What is your name? Jeff: My name is... The Rock: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what can you give to a millionaire to make him happy? sex

thumb_up thumb_down -3

who did the strait guy marry? a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A: Can I get a tall white Russian. B: No. A: Why not? B: Because this is a Barnes and Nobles. However, we do have a Starbucks, and I can offer you a venti caramel iced coffee"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Do you know what's impossible? A chink whos not smart.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

So there's a man named Moses. He prays to God for a donkey to transport him from Bethlahem to Jerusalem. God granted his wish. God said" To make the donkey go, you must say Hallelujah. To make it stop you say Go". Moses rode off happily. Suddenly the donkey went off trail and was headed towards a steep cliff. Moses kept saying stop, stop, stop. He remembered what God had said, and had said Go. They stopped one inch before falling down. Moses thanked the lord and said " Thank You Jesus, Hallelujah." And down they went.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the Black man say when he just got home from work? "Hi honey, I just got home from work."

thumb_up thumb_down +88

Your mother is so stupid that she was tested and proved to be mentally retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +2,451

What did the girl get for her birthday? the Plan B pill

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the heart attack victim say? Call 911, I'm having chest pains. yeah, your anti-jokes are this funny....

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops