A priest and a small child enter a bar. The bartender takes his son back from the priest, paying him $30 for his exemplary babysitting services.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs being pulled behind a boat? A: Skip.

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a chinese wompus came out of the basement.

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Shaun Sutton Call me: 1-800-tryhard ;)

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Skrillex.

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A priest walks into a bar, which is suprising because priests don't usually go to bars.

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A fifteen-year-old walks into a bar. He is told to leave by the tender because of his obvious prepubescent appearance, deeming him far from the legal age of drinking.

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What did the elephant say to the zebra? Nothing, elephants can't talk.

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What starts with 'd' and ends in 'ick'? dick -XH

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I am white, you are black, we can be friends, racism was abolished.

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What did the Orange say to the Apple? Nothing. Both of them are lifeless objects, thus lacking the ability to speak.

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What is big and white, not the moon CC

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The WNBA.

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Why can't black people swim? Cause poop don't float!

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You haven't happened to see a cigarette truck around here have you? What's a truck?

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suzy took a bath with bubbles what?......... I'm sure bubbles is a nice guy

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Well, its Eliza again, sorry to bother you Nero, I always thought you where good looking but I know that when it comes to you its not about the looks, you are far more than meets the eye. Neo-Nero was the guy we met at a certain meeting, the arrogant guy with the big forehead whose arms where shaking remember? I wont reveal more for his sake, he did not mean bad, he was just angry like the rest of us and felt responsible, again like many of us. So when can we meet you? I assume you wont be arriving soon, but Id really apreciate seeing you again, and considering neither I nor my parents (I asked them) have the money to come visit you, id appreciate a loan or something.

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What did the doctor say to the morbidly obese man? "You should get on a diet. It's a surprise you're even alive for so long with such a bad heart" The next day the man dies while eating celery.

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what is the difference between a baby and a book... The book still has a spine

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On her day off, a fully clothed stripper walks into a bar she's never been to before. The regulars turn their heads to see who has just walked in, then turn back to their own conversations.

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Three men walk into a bar they suffer permanent brain damage, and completely lose their basic cognitive abilities. They will never be able to speak to one another again.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? Because skeletons are no longer sentient beings and cannot move.

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A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops