What’s worse than being ruled by Adolf Hitler? Being ruled by Joseph Stalin.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why can't the children hug his father? Because his father is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that evolution had created. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!", he said to himself. As he was walking along the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. When he turned to see what the cause was, he saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charging right towards him. He ran as fast as he could. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing, He ran even faster, crying in fear. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. His heart was pounding and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up, but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him. At that moment, the Atheist cried out "Oh my God!...." Then the Atheist died a violent and terrible death.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A boy's parents buy him a Wii for Christmas. The boy hangs himself the next day because you need arms to play Wii.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I used to be able to walk, but then I took an arrow to the knee. It tore my acl and shattered my kneecap.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

BOTTOM!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

the old man fell down the stairs and broke his leg, he then went to the hospital and got a cast. later that day he went home and ate soup

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally Why can't Sally finish her ice cream She has no arms How do you fit Sally into a box? Put her in a blender. How do you get her out? A straw.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a person with 4 arms? A normal person. (fore arms) (meant to be audible)

thumb_up thumb_down -6

His name is Frosted Mike, and he neither has nor does not have a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why couldnt the guy move his legs cuz he was paralyzed

thumb_up thumb_down +16

So - this baby seal walked into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Type better antijokes above

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's funnier than a bus full of burning babies? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: Why did Katie fall of the swing? A: Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Katie

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I AM DEAD, FUCKING, SERIOUS! NOW GET OVER HERE MOMMY I WANT TO... ...Thats pretty disgusting, I was born a man, maybe an infant man, but a man regardless. So how about you stop showcasing me to people here and we just take off? I mean I am dead tired and sleepy, I would say good night, but its day here now so yeah.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the black family eating at K.F.C? The food there is really good and they had a discount on the family bucket.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car. A. Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Yo momma so Fat that she got picked for the Olympic Swim Team

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops