What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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We have come to the United States in search of a just, and profitable land, but we have found a place of bigots and racists.

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Do you have liquid tape? No ( But he really did)

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an object in motion continues to stay in motion unless acted upon by an external force :)

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Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red Fences are red OMG MY FENCE IS ON FIRE!

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If you call Dani a dog one more time, lick a gooch nut suckers. XoXo Jamie <3

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i like my woman how i like my coffe... without d i c k s

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Where do you live? In a house

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its coop was on fire.

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So a man walking down a nature trail came across an injured fox laying on the ground in pain, it looked like it was attacked recently. There wasn't much the man could do at the time, so he gently picked up the fox and rushed the fox to his house. The man arrives moments later at his house with the fox. There were a lot of options the man could choose, but he went with a simple recipe. The man grabbed a knife and gutted the fox, removing all unnecessary organs. He then skinned the fox of it's fur. He sliced the head off, cut the legs to a stub, and stuffed it. He gave it a nice seasoning and placed it in the oven at about 350F for 6 hours. When the fox was perfectly cooked, it was taken out of the oven and left to sit for about 5 minutes to cool. He cut a chunk of meat from the dish and sat down to eat. "What a fine meal" the man said.

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Dora the explorer went on an adventure. sadly, all of the animals in the forest, including boots the monkey and swiper the fox, kill her as a sacrifice to an unknown God

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what the difference between ET and polish people? ET is an alien and polish people are human

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Whats two plus two? Miles

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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How can you spot a blind person at a nudist colony? They might be carrying a white stick, or have a guide dog or someone to help them navigate the premises.

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A blond, a brunette, and an Asian take a test. They all get exceptional grades and pass college.

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What's brown and adhesive? A stick

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Priest: "Matt, will you take Senae to be your wife, your partner in life and your one true love? Will you cherish her friendship and love her today, tomorrow and forever? Will you trust and honor her, laugh with her and cry with her? Will you be faithful through good times and bad, in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?" Matt: No

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How does Moses make his Tea? Hebrews it.

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what's worst than being gay? being black

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my grandpa told me "dont let fear rule your life" 2 hours later he got hit by a train.

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What's the difference between a table lamb? A fishing pole, automobiles are very useful

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why couldn't the the black man get a job? because he doesn't posses the correct work ethic.

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what is the biggest lie in the whole world? -please drink responsibly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops