Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is Patrick.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a cheetah? A fictional animal.

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What happened after Jimmy fell off the cliff? He died.

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Your mom is so ugly, Ew.

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Whats the square root of x^2? Variables cant be gay

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How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

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If you look up stupid in the dictionary the definition would say stu·pid? ?[stoo-pid, styoo?] -er, -est, noun adjective 1. lacking ordinary quickness and keenness of mind; dull. 2. characterized by or proceeding from mental dullness; foolish; senseless: a stupid question. 3. tediously dull, especially due to lack of meaning or sense; inane; pointless: a stupid party. 4. annoying or irritating; troublesome: Turn off that stupid radio. 5. in a state of stupor; stupefied: stupid from fatigue.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Sunflowers are red. My garden is on fire.

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hit the thumbs down button

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How do you find a jew amoung italians? Through a dollar and see which one whines its not enough!

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? I don't hammer the watermon

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nick walked into macdonalds... everyone stood up and left as they saw the potential danger in the situation.. nick later ended up bieng hit by a bus after chasing a duck

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Always do, always will, I have overcome far worse, doctor told my mother when I was born (without a heartbeat) that I was dead, and if they somehow managed to get me breathing again (heart beating etc) I would have suffered so much brain damage that I would not have a concious mind, in other words I would never have been able to learn anything, not to speak nor to type... ...Gotta say I pretty much fucking disagree with the "good" old doctor, and for the record, my heart is as healthy as... Healthy can be I am ambidextrous, but because of this eyedrum mutant thing of mine, I cant tell left from right, because well, to my radar senses both are left and right. Sorry if I am not making much sense here, just bleed a bit out of my nose, had it been from my ears, things could have gotten ugly, but no, its all good.

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whats worse then finding out your girlfriend cheated on you.. -9/11

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What do you get when you cross a Zebra with a Sheep? Hounded by a religious group for playing God.

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Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

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A man had two horses. One was black and one was white. He cut the tail of one of them to tell them apart.

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. I don't know what happens next, I got the fuck out of there before shit went down

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Yo momma's so ugly that she could not find another partner after the tragic death of your father

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What is white, wet, sticky, and gets squished out? Glue obviously, wait.... What were you thinking of?

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How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

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Why did the man stop having seizure? Because his condition was recognized and he was properly medicated.

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Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

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Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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