A Rabbi walks into a bar. He payed for his drinks, tipped the bar tender, drank a few too many so he got a cab home.

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? The grass was getting to high and needed to be trimmed.

Whats slower than molasses? A dead baby.

what does the sloth say to Jonah reincastle? nothing Jonah is the sloth

They say "You are what you eat." In that case, I'm a pussy.

how do you win a game try your best

One time, I called the police, but it was actually a fire. So my neighbors died.

What does a Jew do when he sees a masked man at his door? He grabs a phone to alert the police and hides in his bedroom.

My therapist says that I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that!

What's the best way to suprise your friend? Shove a banana up his ass.

what did the lawyer say to the other lawer? we are both lawyers

Why did the Flyers lose to the Blackhawks in the Stanley Cup? Because they aren't as good as the Blackhawks.

Lol XD,now that is bad ass of you to say that, what about her, does she get to go around too?

Q: Ask me if I read the terms of use before I submitted this joke. A: I didnt

Lol (wow, I am using that a lot... BAAAD!) Anyway, yeaaaah, you thanked me for being who I am, this rush of happy drugs from the body is totally a sign of taking insult... Funny, I am not much of a endorphin person otherwise.

What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? Hi. He said it in sign language.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the hospital because his wife has multiple STD's

Q: What's white and sticky? A: Glue.

Why Did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him

Remember those days where we planned what to do with our lives instead of wondering what things lied ahead? Those where the days, it does not matter if we are relics, heroes, or villains today. Back then, we did not seek to discover our future, we sought to create it, back then our people did not pray for a better day, but worked for it. And love and kindness was not something only found in heaven, but what we shared in what was the closest thing, to heaven on earth. Tell me the truth, are there many like us left in this world?

What is the difference between a duck? None! One of their legs are both the same.

Why did the person get hit by a fridge? They didn't for its physically impossible for most people to throw a normal sized refrigerator.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, What else is new?

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...