How does a person put an elephant in a closet? First they have to open the door, then put the elephant in and close the door. That was easy well how does a person put a giraffe in. You probably said open the door and put the giraffe in and close the door. Well you missed a step first you have to take the elephant out then you can put in the giraffe. Well both animals are to big to fit in a closet so you can't put them in and also the person who put the animals in is schizophrenic and the animals are fake so if you believed that you could fit them in there you might be delusional.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Knock Knock Whos there? It was the unexpected arrival of his wifes lover who'd been having an affair with her for over a year She thought her husband would be out and forgot to tell him not to come The husband started breaking down in tears whilst throwing insults at both of them, grabbing the man by his collar and throwing him on the ground he started to kick his head in The man died and the husband and wife divorced, theres now a bench in the mans local park dedicated to him.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why did the little boy drop his icecream? he was hit by a train

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

thumb_up thumb_down -4

1134

thumb_up thumb_down +37

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrHirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr can u find the r

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the Watermelon say to its baby? I'll SEED you later!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How do you kill a mime? Shoot him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

hmm, thinking, thinking, SNAPPLE!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red Violets are blue This poem sucks Because violets are purple

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: How do you make a clown frown? A: Hit it with an ax.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

whoever said we're all soft on the inside was probably not an experienced doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -23

MR MC CANN WHATS THE ANSWER

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what's small, red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did little justin fall off his bike? because a terrorist threw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down +200

Why did the guy crash? He was texting.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q. what do you call a black guy? A. N IGGER

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Matt Gregory Harrington is a bender, pylon, hoser, duster tripod, and puck bunny!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I have two friends, Jeffrey and Barbara. You might think that Jeffrey likes sports and beer, and that Barbara likes knitting and cooking. But you'd be wrong, Barbara is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

A white kid, a black kid, and an Asian kid all try out for the basketball team. Which one makes the team? All of them, because they are all very good.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops