What is the difference between a feminist and a gun? A gun only has one trigger

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Never bring a knife to a sword fight Bring A GIANT FREAKING HIPPOPOTAMUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Why did people spend $100 on Kanye West's plain white T- shirt? Because it was a good looking T-shirt.

thumb_up thumb_down -121

Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Your mama is so ugly, when she looks in the mirror it displays her reflection like all mirrors do

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did the chicken cross the road? It is impossible to tell because we cannot communicate with chickens, but we can assume there was something of interest over there.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q:What happened to the fat man that rode a roller coaster? A:He had fun

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't become rotisserie with a side of hash brown.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your mom is so old, that when somebody told her to act her age, she died.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Once upon a time, Ducks THE END

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Type 2 diabetics

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do mummies keep there secrets wrapped up? They are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How many dead babies can fit in a bathtub. Twelve. A previous joke said seventeen, that person had their facts wrong. I know from experience

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you escape from being enlisted in the army of your nation? Flee to a different country and bring along your valuables.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the girl fall down the hill? Her boyfriend pushed her.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A russian, a mexican, and an american are all sitting in a tavern. The russian ordered vodka, the mexican orders tequila, and the american orders a beer. When the waiter arrives, the russian throws his vodka into the air, shoots it, and says "we got too many of those in our country". The mexican tosses up his tequila and says "we got too many of those in our country". The american throws up his beer, shoots the mexican, and says "we got too many of those in our country". And then drinks his beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A black guy walks into a basketball court.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Whats long and hard and women like to suck on them? A popsicle or long lollipop

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why was the homeless man homeless? He lost his house in a terrible house fire, stretching throughout his apartment building, losing his much beloved wife and kids in the horrific accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

whats worse then having sex with a blonde? having sex with a cactus

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: a blonde, a brunette, and redhead jump off a cliff, which one hits the ground first? A: Most likely the one that weighs more

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q. Why did uncle Al die of smoking? A. His socks were to big -Noah Weisskopf

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops