Yo mamma is SO fat, she is classified as fat.

What do you call a guy with a bomb strapped to his chest flying a plane? A pilot with a bomb strapped to his chest

What did the zombie say to the woman? I like turtles.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

what is the vent wound on the ladies that can never heal???

What do you call a bunch of hobos having sexual intercourse? A soup kitchen

"So, how's life in North Korea?" "Well, I can't complain."

Whats the square root of pie? Pies are round.

Three men walk in to a bar, One ducked

What's worse than getting Ebola? Nothing

trump and hillary are both stranded on an island, who survives? america

when do you go to heaven? Never

Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

Why do black people ride Septa? Because septa is an affordable and convenient means of transportation.

What did the homeless man get for christmas? NOTHING, he died.

Imagine: You are trapped in a prizon cell with no doors, no windows, no furniture and completely sealed in with nothing. What do you do? Stop imagining!

What did the African want for breakfast? Ebola cereal

What do owls and cars have in common? Nothing.

What do you call a purple apple? Bruised.

A muslim walks onto a plane. He goes to 13C as that is his seat designated on his ticket.

planned on writing you all an antijoke decided i wouldn't.

What's similar about a black person and an apple? Nothing, an apple is a fruit. It has nothing to do with hanging from trees.

what does an adhd kid that causes all kind of trouble get? a buncha ass whoopins and some meds to dope his ass up

A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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