how do you tell the difference between a jew and a muslim? you ask them what their religion is.

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What's big and purple? Something that's big and purple

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A man walks into a bar, it's funny because he is an alcholholic

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one being irish and the other chinese. now they both happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. so why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china, where as the chinese man had not committed any crime.

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Have you ever seen Stevie Wonders house? I have it's actually really nice

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How do you describe a funny man on stilts? Stand up comedy

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"Knock knock" Come in!

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why did the the frog cross the road? because he was on the chickens back

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what do a plum and a rabbit have in common? there both purple except for the rabbit

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In Soviet Russia, millions of innocents died due to the oppression.

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Your Momma is so fat that she will most like lose a leg to diabetes which is totally preventable if she eats a well balanced diet. I hope she loses weight. Say hi to her from me please.

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What happened to Jim. He died his funeral is tomorrow.

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What did Electra give her Dad for his birthday? Head. That's why her name is Electra.

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A man watched his city burn. He was traumatized by the loss of his friends and family and went to therapy to recover.

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G

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Why did the man murder his wife in cold blood? Because she was alive before he killed her.

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What happened to the boy who survived a tragic car accident?? He stepped out of the car and got hit by a semi.

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How many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Chuck Noris

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Your family is so fat that when their feet hit the ground, it recorded 9 on the richter scale, because they were launched at the Earth at close to the speed of light, and when you account for relativistic mass effects, the amount of energy that was displaced into the ground was tremendous

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why was the boy crying? cause an elephant tusked him up the ass

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I told a woman to make me at turkey sandwich. Of course she complied seeing as I was at Subway.

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Jamie Stegman was dead. LOL

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you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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