When life gives you lemon, Squeeze lemon juice in life's eyes Rape it And demand oranges

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Q: What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A: A pharmacist

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why did the chicken cross the road cause he was suicidal but a car just didnt happen to hit him.

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how do you stop a speeding vehicle? throw a refrigerator at it.

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A family's house was possessed by ghosts causing them great fear and discomfort. Who are they gonna call? A real estate agent.

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What do you get when you cross a Poodle with a cupcake? Stop looking at these anti-jokes and get back to work.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead got into a street fight. who won? The redhead because she had a gun.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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what is the difference between a white woman and a black woman.. i raped the black one

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What did the broom say to the vacuum cleaner? "Your mom sucks."

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why does my face bleeding theres an axe in it

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what is the meaning of life? i dont know, but im fairly sure its not 42

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What did the black man, chinese man, and mexican man all have in common? They all happened to enjoy cantaloupe.

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A white guy and a black guy are standing in a room. Which one of them is a murderer? I don't know, there is not enough information given in the question. However, according to Bureau of Justice murder statistics over the last 30 years, the black guy is 7.6 times more likely to be a murderer than a white guy in the United States.

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What do Japan and Haiti have in common? They are both islands.

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The first few weeks of joining weight-watchers...you're just finding your feet.

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yo mama is so fat that a kid said to her ' The White Buddha Has Returned'

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Roses are red Violets are blue My dad drinks a lot Help Me

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1: I know a lot of people hate Mondays, but my least favorite day of the week is Thursday. 2: Can I ask why? 1: Of course you can. Everyone has free will.

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Q; What feels like plastic and tastes fake? A: School Food

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An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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Right now I'm walking down a road shoot car rhendhhdgfgdyxchdhsggggggggggggggggggggggggg

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You know whats worse than getting punched in the face? Getting kicked in the balls.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a wild dog on the other side, so he crossed the road to avoid potential danger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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