Q: How do you win the tour defrance if you have one nut? A: Hard work and dedication.

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What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

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What time is it? 10:58

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Why did the vulture cross the road? To get to the pile of dead babies left over from the Holocaust.

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what's red, blue, and white all over? The American Flag

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I have down syndrome. -RDV

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Why did the little girl die so suddenly? The bullet got her right in the heart.

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What is the worst thing to say to a dying person? After you die I'm going to defile your corpse, nan.

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What did the astronaut say when he stepped on the moon? Oops, sorry.

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart but the very next day your body rejected the transfer and you died.

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A man is jogging down the street. He bangs his kneecap into a metal pole and shatters it. He is then hit by a giant cheese wheel and dies.

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Why did the personal trainer get fired from the gym? He lacked good customer service skills.

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What did the munchy alzhemiers farmer say about his missing tractor? Where's my tators?

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A man walks into a bar and sees a jar filled with money. He asks the bartender, "What`s all this money for?" The bartender replies, "It`s Breast Cancer Awareness month and we are collecting donations." The man puts in $5, and continues on with his night.

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When I exited the hospital one day, I spotted a sign saying "Come back soon!" Soon afterwards I saw people protesting to ban dihydrogen monoxide. The next day on tv I saw an ad for a solar powered lightbulb. Then I saw a Gun control poster. I cried, this being the dumbest thing I had seen yet, and the world was certainly doomed due to humanity's general stupidity. I saw a chicken crossing a packed road. Why did the chicken feel the urge to cross the road?

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what did the homeless kid get for christmas? nothing he probably doesn't know what christmas is

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Dumbledore: Yo mamma's so fat --- her Patronus is a cake! Voldemort: ...bitch!

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Roses are red, Violets are unicorns, This s h i t doesn't make sense, Refrigerator.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She never got her drivers license.

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As far as I know, the day after tomorrow is going to be YOUR lucky day, because you will be tasting sausage for the first time with your lower lips... No seriously, you cant be virgin, you can tell me the truth, you like 24 or something?

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Sam: This math homework is gay. Cory: You should pursue a romantic relationship with your gay math homework.

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why did the man walk into the metal pole? because hes blind and suffers from cancer.

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The chicken came before the egg. Because eggs are an unborn chicken, and it is impossible for an unborn chicken to ejaculate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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