Q: What were little Jonathon's grandmas last words before dying of Alzheimer's? A: Who are you?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Little kid asks his mom: "Why do zombies eat people?" His mom says: "Becasue honey, your MEAT"

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow And daisies can be a wide variety of colours.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the bartender say to the upset horse? GET OUT OF MY BAR!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the best way to suprise your friend? Shove a banana up his ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Most of men think: the bigger dick they have, the more pleasure they can give to woman. Most of women don't thinks so, becouse they haven't got a dick.

thumb_up thumb_down

What is the difference between a urologist and a can of chili? One is hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

First speaker: "why are there so many anti-jokes about something walking into a bar!?!? Second speaker: "there are only a couple thousand of them." First speaker: "it is getting so damn annoying!" Second speaker: "Well, that's too bad for you" The first speaker proceeds in stabbing himself with a knife while laughing hysterecly. First speaker: "ha ha ha ha" Second speaker "emo."

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I LIKE TRAINS

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? If you eat a Jew, you're deemed a cannibal and are frowned upon by the majority of society.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

whats red and smells like blue paint? Hank Kovalcik

thumb_up thumb_down +11

There was a joke, one sentance, and no punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the farmer say when he finally found his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?" Oh ya he had alzheimers.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Your in the wrong hemisphere

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why didn't the skeleton go to his party? Because he used to be alive and was burned to death by an overturned truck carrying chemical's so his family canceled the party to organise the funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What goes up and does not come down? Why the hell ask me.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q. How can you tell if your arm is broken? A. Break it.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I am iron man 24 flavors in my van i am the icecream man i have met jackie chan

thumb_up thumb_down -14

If life gives you lemons, you can't really make anything because you lack the proper materials.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

whats worse then being lit on fire? dont worry about that right now your ass is on fire!

thumb_up thumb_down

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 took 9 behind an alley and raped her.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops