Q: How does Lady Gaga like her meat? A: Exactly what her preference is.

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What's the difference between dogs and humans? 8.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, it is a fairly common occurrence in Australia and normal process is carried out of evacuating the premises and calling animal control to deal with the situation.

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a bed? A: The victim of a serious car accident in a hospital bed.

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Why did it die Nothing died

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What's the difference between a cheeseburger and a dead baby............I don't j!zz on the cheeseburger before I eat it.

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Jeff goes to the store, Helen Keller.

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As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

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How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her in the head.

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Want to hear a joke? Unequal rights.

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What did the little boy become for Halloween? An orphan, his parents were killed that day.

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Why did the downtown New York worker never make it home? An airplane crashed into his office.

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What do you call a city that never sleeps? Cities cannot sleep; they merely represent a societal body of people living in a confined community. A city may have a prosperous night-life, however, cannot functionally "fall asleep" in the convential sense of the term.

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"Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "The police." "'The police', who?" "Sir, come out of your domicile with your hands up and no weapons present. You've just gone to an orphanage and massacred almost every nun who's worked there for almost five years. Not only that, but your son has also contracted AIDS from his previously lesbian girlfriend whom she has lost her mother too in the orphanage accident you've just caused."

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Fathers Day at Tyrone's house.

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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Dad, why are we Swedish? Because antilopes and the butterfly effect son.

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NO IT IS MINE! ALL MINE!

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What do you call a black astronaut? It depends on what his name is.

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What will ur wife say when she finds you in bed with a hore-s.

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Q:What do you get when you mix a tiger and a panda? A:nothing, its impossible

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Person1: Man I had the worst day ever. Person2: Worser than the holocaust.

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Q:John has 50 candy bars and he eats 45, what does john have? A: Diabetes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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