Me: do u you want to here a joke You: ya Me: Woman's rights

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Why did the mother tell her son to get a job. She was tired of buying Generic brand food.

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" and the duck says "Quack". The bartender is then promptly fired and committed to the nearest mental institution for thinking that ducks can talk and order beer.

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What is worse worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have feeble minds and tend to wander around.

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why was the cow laying down? because little johnny shot him with a 50 calliber

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Why didn't Sally go to the party? Because everybody hates her and she wasn't invited.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who Doctor Octagonapus! BLAAAUUUUGGGHHHH

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You're so ugly, When you look in the mirror it displays you're reflection because that is what mirrors do

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Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and was forced to prostitute for money, thus resulting in you.

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What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Being sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

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Contrary to popular belief- And this just in. My daughter has breast cancer.

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car?: Starve it to death, then chop it in pieces.

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen and warns him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and otherwise damaging consequences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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what happens when Pinocchio says "My nose is growing"?

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms in it, what's worse than that? The holocaust, whats worse than that? Biting into an apple and finding 3 worms in it

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eden stop

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What did the white man say to the black bartender? I'll have a pint please.

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two snow men standing in a field and one says to the other can you smell carrots

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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What do you get when you cross a cow with an elephant? A deformed organism

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That awkward moment when a joke doesn't end the way you think it would.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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