How do you get a chicken to cross the road? Get him in the other side

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What do you call a person at your door? Whatever his name happens to be.

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is too sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Wrong. Violets should be purple.

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A man walks into a bar. He asks the bartender for a glass of milk. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve milk here.

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Q: What did little Timmy get from his mother this Christmas? A: The contents of her will.

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why does crazy george spin a ball on his fingers well? because he has a huge dingo

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What do boats and starving children have in common? They both float, except for the starving children.

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why is the sky blue? - because you have herpes.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset in her backyard Neither did she.

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Two women are sitting quietly in a corner, minding their own business.

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Why are Asians so smart? Because they study

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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What's funnier than a jalapeño? A jalapeño on a stick.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? ...hey, it's kinda fun to type tootsie... ...tootsie tootsie tootsie...

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Knock, knock. Who is there? Child services, here to take your children. The following day, there is another knock at the door. Who is there? The police. The woman runs into the kitchen and kills herself.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I live in Africa Give me water

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What does Free Candy and a Free game online have in common? They both have viruses

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What did the Asian man do when he got lost in the desert? He ate his arms.

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What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

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What's the difference between a cat and a banana? One is a cat, the other is a banana.

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person 1:hello person 2:hello person 1:do you want to hear a joke ? person 2:yes person 1:good bye person 2:good bye

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When life gives you lemons, you make grape juice and let the world wonder how you made it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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