A man walks in to a bar and says "ouch."

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Hey! I just met you. And this may seem crazy. So here's my number: Now Get in the van.

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Whats the easiest way to get a dumb blond to have sex with you? rape.

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a jewish man with a boner walks into a wall what does he hit first his cheek due to the fact he was looking at an attractive woman

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What happened to the boy who ate too much? He got type 2 diabetes

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What Makes Me Smile? Face Muscles.

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i used to think i had the coolest secret handshake with helen keller. then i realized she was talking sh*t about me

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Why did the boy have a rash? He didn't, it was a birthmark.

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what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

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Why did the tree catch on fire? A phinix hit it!

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Where's my tractor?

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someone had sex with Justin bieber end result Justin went into labor

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Which side of an ostrich has the most feathers? Obviously the outside! Who would be so low educated to even have the idea that an ostrich can have feathers on the inside of it's body?

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What do babies suck on? juice boxes!

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Q: why couldn't the pirate boy get into the movie? A: the movie was rated R and the pirate boy was only 14 years old, and he didn't have any adult supervision, which prevented him from entering the movie.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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Wanna hear a joke..... Corey Jacobs Scrotum!

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Why did the fridge break? Because someone threw a fridge at it.

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What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

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What is worse than the Haulocost? Running across Africa with KFC

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.

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What's three times More dangerous than a war? Three wars

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What is the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? I take my cleats off when I jump on trampolines

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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