Why don't midgets live in penthouses? They can't reach the button in the elevator.

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What do you call a guy who can't get a girlfriend? Me.

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin right before they got in the b\Batmobile? A: "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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2 Men Walk Into A Bar, I Forget The Rest.

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2 sheeps are outside having a great time One sheep walks up to the other sheep and says: hello The other sheep says: hello Now what I want to know: what ally do you get your drugs from

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how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike.

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Why couldn't the blonde drive? Because she was 14, thus incapable of having a drivers license

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What do a squirrel and a grape have in common? They are both purple except for the squirrel.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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what's black and blue and has red all over it? A dead body ^_^

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DON’T HIT KIDS!!! NO, SERIOUSLY, THEY HAVE GUNS NOW. Via: Pingzic collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

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Yo Momma is so ugly she probably doesn't have any friends.

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Hey, you have small hands.

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What did the Priest say to the Rabbi? Nothing. The Priest was mute and the Rabbi was deaf.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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Once upon a time there was beautiful princess, ONCE!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? You wouldn't be able to count them if it were dark.

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Legal Mexicans in Texas

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The pen was left open, and it felt slightly curious.

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Why couldnt Jimmy swing on the swing? because Jimmy's a fish

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OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, she is rolling around on the street laughing hysterically. He asks her, "Why are you laughing? I just beat the crap out of your car!!" She is laughing too hard to respond, but between giggles he can make out, "While you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle!"

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he was on his wheelchair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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