So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. He crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust. A worm in your apple.

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tobi is so gay that he is the mayor of sanfrancisco

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Why can't Susie jump rope? Because she has no arms. Knock knock! who's there? Not Susie.

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When the sun goes down... Most of the guys pants goes down too. Just be straight XD

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What do you get when you mix Lil Wayne and Lil John? A full size John Wayne

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I'm typing this one handed... ... Because I'm an amputee.

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What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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Your mother is so fat.... I am happy to see her join our exercise group.

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A boy spelled the word "banana" wrong on a spelling test... Points were deducted.

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Chuck Norris' beard takes 1st 2nd and 3rd in the most impressive beard catagory. He was the only contestant.

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Why didn't the man jump out of his window when his house was on fire? Because he is afraid of heights.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he won't come anyways.

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someone called someone else a frog

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Donald Trump.

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What do you do after a murder kills your entire family? Nothing, he killed you too

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Why did Aodhan not come into school? He was sick.

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's a women. Why can't Stephen Hawking speak freely with his voice? Because he's autistic.

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Boob

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A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

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What do you call a black lifeguard? Ironic.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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