Roses are red,Lemons are sour,Open your legs and give me an hour

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why do women wear perfume and makeup? They smell bad and they're ugly.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why do depressed people like sharp knives? Cause there good for cutting Salad

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what is the difference between the black orphan and the white orphan.... the black orphan died after i raped it

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What ever happened to Sally? We don't know she went missing over 5 years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many alzheimers patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A skeleton walks into a bar. It's inside a person. He orders a beer and enjoys it contentedly.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

A my dog was a rappa. He recorded a hit. But it had no lyrics, because he is a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Sometimes I light my hair on fire and pretend I'm a candle.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why do christians believe in God? Because believing in God is fundemental in their belief system; if they did not believe in God they simply wouldn't be christians. Muslims are in a similar predicament.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,102

knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Me Doa Kong Oh, Hi! Come on in.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Two Jewish kids walked into a bar... mitzvot.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

my dick is like a bridge. i dont know why.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Roses are car Violets are giraffe this poem makes no sense microwave

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man goes to the doctor and complains: "Doctor, my Viagra hasn't worn off! It's been over eight hours!" The doctor replies "You were bitten by a banana spider. You have one day to live.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than a tree getting cut down? This joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a giraffe driving a car?.. Your Imagination

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the black boy read a book. Because he had a book report due next week

thumb_up thumb_down +36

That maternal figure of yours is of such inadequate intelligence that she cannot fathom that, given a scatterplot with a linear correlation of greater than -1 and lesser than 1 and a reasonably consistent rise over run, a future value along the y-axis can be predicted if following the y=a(x)+b equation.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops