From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

A skinny white prisoner dropped his soap in the shower. So the big, ripped, black prisoner who was showering next to him picked up the soap and handed it back to him. The skinny white prisoner said "Thank you" and continued with his shower.

A group of blondes rent a car and decide to drive to Disney World. Along the highway, they see a sign reading "Disney World left." They exit the highway, turn left, and enjoy their well-deserved vacation from practicing law.

How do you know if you're gay? You find yourself sleeping with people of the same sex.

A Blonde walks into a bar. She is an abusive relationship and is drinking her pain away.

hi

What do a purple cow and a red fire engine have in common? Both like eating pizza on Fridays, except for the red fire engine.

Have you ever tripped over a leaf? No. Neither have I.

A man is so drunk that the alcohol has a biphasic effect on the body, meaning that its effects change over time. Initially, alcohol typically produces feelings of relaxation and cheerfulness. Increased consumption, however, can lead to dehydration, coordination problems, blurred vision, and a great number of health, medical, and social issues and other drinking problems caused by alcoholism. As articulated above, excessive alcohol consumption can lead to drunkenness. One of the short term effects of intoxication is the lowering of an individual's inhibitions. As a consequence, when people are intoxicated they frequently do things they normally would not do while sober, often ignoring legal, ethical, social, and moral or religious norms. While blurred vision, slurred speech, dehydration, and coordination can be labeled as "alcohol short term effects," other health problems such as alcohol related heart disease, liver disease, and cancer, on the other hand, can be labeled as long term effects of alcohol abuse and alcoholism. This, however brief, is an overview of the effects of alcohol. What remains to be discussed, however, is what Paul Harvey calls "the rest of the story." Essentially, "the rest of the story" is a more detailed analysis of how excessive alcohol affects an individual's life and the lives of those around him or her when the person becomes an alcoholic and suffers from alcoholism. Perhaps the most logical way to discuss this complex topic is to focus first on the classic alcoholic behaviors and effects of alcohol in the four states of alcoholism; then examine some of the "social effects" of alcohol and alcoholism and finally, discuss the medical conditions, health issues, and drinking problems that are caused directly or indirectly by alcoholism.

what do you call the one eyed man in the land of the blind? You call him an outcast

- What has 2 legs and is bleeding ? - A dog cut in two.

Stephen Hawkings viewed porn as a child

What does the Christian celebrate on Christmas? Christmas

What do you call a pen sitting on a counter? A righting utensil not being currently used.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

joe diragi makes paul look straight

50 gay man and a homophobe are in a nightclub in Florida ...you know how the rest goes.

Beans, beans good for the heart, the more you eat the more likely you are to grow into a healthy young man/woman with low risk of heart disease.

Whats green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? A girl scout that got hit by a car

why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was very unhealthy, and had a heart attack attempting too

What do you get if you cross a black man with a knife? Stabbed.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: How should I know?

How many dyslexic people does it take to ruin Christmas? One, because they murdered you mother on your birthday.

Whats red and is bad for your teeth? A brick.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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