A man sees the doctor. "Doctor, if I hit myself on my head, it hurts, if I hit myself on my arm, it hurts, and if I hit myself on my leg, it hurts as well." "The case is clear. You need to f*ing stop hitting yourself!"

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Finding TWO worms in your apple.

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Why did Susy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? NOT SUSY!

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What is the result of a couples' feud? 96.

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A muslim walks pass a bomb shop on his way to the international peace club.

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I'm Jewish

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Your mother is so stupid she couldn't get a passing score on a standardized test.

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What did the cancer patient get for his birthday HIV

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What body part did German prince Heinrich von Missingpenis lack? His toenail.

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How many Jews does it take to fix a light bulb? Four, one to take the light bulb out, one to put a new in, one to hold the ladder, and one to hold the guy holding the ladder

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What did the boy ask the ice cream man? Can I have some ice cream?

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What's the difference between a plum and a bunny? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

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Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs? Because he wants to hide the fact he knocked up a chicken.

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your mom's stupid face is a dumb butthead. I hate you.

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Can a man reproduce with only one testicle? No because girls don't dig that sh*t

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Why did the Fly die? Cause it died the average life span is 30 days.

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YOU

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate the chicken.

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Ok, for Christ’s sake, these sh!tty “animals falling out of a tree” jokes are NOT funny; they were never funny and they’re certainly not getting any funnier with you rehashing them every 5 posts. Fncking stop it.

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Why did 5 members of the Al-Qaeda walk into the bank? To make 5 seperate cash withdrawals

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What do you call a car with a sunroof? A car.

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A lysdexic man trys to rite a joek... the people who tried reading it got confused and offered help in rewriting it.

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Q: Why did the crazy man stare at the orange juice container? A: Because it started talking.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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