whats orange, nocturnal, and hurts to the touch? The sun or an orange owl... Depends on your preference

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Whats better than 1 person in your oven? 9 people in your oven.

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How do you kill a hobo? Throw a penny off a clif.. How do you kill another hobo? Tell him the penny's still down there

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What separates man from animal? Divorce.

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Two men walk into a bar The first man says to the bartender: 'Can I have a glass of H2O?' The second man says: 'Can I have a glass of H2O too?' The Bartender gives them both glasses of water because he is not irresponsible to serve hydrogen peroxide in his bar.

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Time flies an arrow. Fruit flies like banana.

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What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

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Whats Pink and fluffy? Yellow fluff thats been dyed pink :D

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wat?

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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why did the bird fall out of the sky? it had been shot by a bird hunter, as it was bird season.

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A black man breaks into a car, he doesn't steal anything because that would a violation of the car owner's privacy.

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So a guy and his monkey walk into a bar I don't remember the rest of the joke but you mom is a whore

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What did the black man say while getting mauled by a jungle cat? "Help im dying", as the animal riped him peice by peice with fear in his eyes he died slowly as the jungle cat draged him back to its den helplessly he fades away and the animal eats him.

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Person 1: Ask me if I'm a truck? Person 2: Are you a truck? Person 1: No.

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what was the dinosaur after it got out of the pool? wet

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There once was a man who had a penis that was so big, his girlfriend liked it a lot. A year later they got married and had kids, but then the man lost his accounting job and things went downhill.

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do you like hardcore music? ya i love brokencyde

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what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing, he was homeless

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Yo momma is so old that she will be moved to a nursing home next week.

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This one time at band camp... I played an instrument and learned to march with the rest of my school's band.

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knowck knowck whos there? shea shea who? shea...duh!

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo.

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The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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