Three guys walk into a bar. First guy goes up to the bartender and orders a beer. Second guy goes up and orders 2 beers. Third guy sits down and saves seats for the other two guys.

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what do you call a man who is addicted to alcohol... an alcoholic

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What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

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Whats something thats red and swings A baby on a meat hook

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? *snicker* F*ck a duck.

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GRAAAAAAAAAAAR.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did the man cry? Because his mom died in a terrible car accident.

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Why did the fisherman die on a fishing trip? He had a heart attack.

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How do you get a single-armed monkey down from a tree? Wave.

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Why was the Japanese man unable to see? Because it was extremely sunny outside and he had forgotten to wear sunglasses.

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Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have ADD ...

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, Everything is gray, I'm a dog.

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Why don't they sell aspirin in the jungle? Because it is not financially viable to sell pharmaceuticals in a largely unpopulated area.

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Yo momma so fat, when she sits on a rainbow nothing happens, as rainbows are merely rays of light refracted off of water particles in the air, apparent to humans only on a visible spectrum.

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roses are red voilets are red bushes are red trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!!!!

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WHATS A GREAT RAVE TUNE KANE !!!!! TUCKER !!!!!!!! DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What did the atheist say as Jesus walked past? nothing, he ran to the nearest bar and called the insane asylum.

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A man is driving home from work. he realizes he left his suitcase back at the office. he turns around and drives back to the office. he walks in the office and grabs his suitcase, and as he's walking out he's stopped by his boss. his boss simply asks "what are you doing in the office at this time, Eric?" the man replies to his boss " sorry sir i was just grabbing my suitcase as i forgot to bring it as i was leaving work" his boss lets him pass " okay Eric, have a good night" the man get back in his car and drives home. but on his way home a pedestrian runs in front of the road. the man runs him over unintentionly. the man is jailed with manslaughter for 4 and a half years

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? a lot.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because she had a seizure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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