What did the wall say to the floor? Nothing.

Sally sold seashells by the seashore but she didnt make any money of course. seashells on the shore can be picked up off the beach for free

If you send someone fudge, you should write them a poem with it Roses are red Violets are blue Fudge is brown Here's some fudge!

Why do black people make the best milkshakes? because they use the finest ingredients

Your mother is so ugly that people make yo mamma jokes about her

what do you call a man without an umbrella? wet

If life gives you lemons, you shoud be thankful it didn't give you AIDS.

Three blondes walk into a community college.

What did the boy do when he was cold? He got a blanket.

What's worse than stubbing your toe? playing spin the bottle with your mom

Knock Knock! Whos There? Paul Okay I was expecting you

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

What's black and white and red all over? A nazi flag

why did the chicken cross the road? because he happened to cross the road

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven." The man nods nervously. St. Peter asks, "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

why did the mans hair start to get shorter the barber was shaving it!

whats black, white, and bloody all over? i don't know, but we should stop making jokes and help it already.

Why are black people faster than white people? They are descended from a lineage where athleticism was more greatly selected for in the evolutionary process.

Q:What did the policemen say to the other policemen? A:Safe

Why did Johnny throw his money on the floor? Because he was giving it to charity

What is Abraham Lincoln's favorite website? Wikipedia. It's very informative. On second thought though, the Internet had not been invented yet back in his time.

Contrary to popular belief when life hands you lemons you cannot make lemonade. Water and sugar are two other essential ingredients.

What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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