- Anti Joke

two muffins are in an oven. 30 min. later i ate a delicious treat.

Q: What did the forgetful person say to the other? A:

Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

Me: What as 9595 legs,3500 eyes and 9894 teeth? You: I dont know... Me: Me neither,but its on your leg.

Ian is cutie!!!!!;)

What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

What do you call a mummy that falls into the Nile? Wet

Wanna hear a funny story? Sure. Ok,

what do a parrot and a hippo have in common? i want to kill every non white human being!!!!

I had a terrible childhood. My mom abandoned me before I was born.

What do you call potato salad in Iceland? Edible. The fact that it happens to be in Iceland doesn't make a difference

roses are red vioets are blue i have chlamydia now so do you....

Why did the dog bark at the tall white man? Because the tall white man was in the process of attempting to rob the house in which said dog was situated. The dog was merely defending its patch.

What do you call a puppy that has been left in the cold? A puppsicle

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

what rhymes with sloth? rape

Opinions are like assholes, neither one can ride a bike, except for the assholes

Cancer.

A forty-year-old man forces a young child to strip down and take a shower. The child screams and cries, but the man persists angily. He then carries the child into his bed. The child pleads, "Help! Mom, make him stop!" The mother yells back, "Just listen to him. He's your father and it's past your bedtime." This is a common night-time routine for parents with their first child

You know Hellen Kellers retarded? No shes blind and deaf. Ehhh same thing.

Loner.

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Chuck Norris goes to the mars to fight the marshuns he then die's soon after because there is lack of oxegen on mars and theres no marshuns.

What's big white and can't fly? -Half of America Whats big brown and can't fly? -Crap

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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