Q: What do you call a Jew in space? A: An astronaut you racist bastard!

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A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

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What happened when the prisoner dropped the soap? He picked it up.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall again? Because somebody put her back on. Why wasn't she able to hug her dad? Because she has no dad.

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How many Dead Babies does it take fill a phone booth? There is an obvious epidemic going around causing millions of babies to die. This is no laughing matter and the mothers of these babies are probably going through therapy to get over their lost.

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What's brown, hairy and goes up and down? A kiwifruit in an elevator.

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How do you make a baby fit in a bottle? Blender.

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Two fish are in a tank. One asks the other, "How do you drive this thing?"

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hi

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What did the hungry man do? He ate.

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What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

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The FCC

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How do you get someone to paid attention to etys You don't, there is no such thing as retys

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One day, a bear happoned across a man and said "How do you do today good sir?" but the man ran away screaming "OH CRAP, BEARS!!!!" because it just sounded like bear growling (which i would love to dedicate to my friend Chris Bradley, just to make the ball to stick ratio too high)

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gay porn...

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What did the kid with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for his birthday? A: Polio.

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Q: How do you give a frigid woman an orgasm? A: By making her come.

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Q:Whats not funny? A: Antijokes

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Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. I slipped you a roofie, get ready for me.

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Yo mama is so fat that: it is ruining her self esteem and she worries about her health.

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hiya

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Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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What do you call a chicken with its head cut off? A dead chicken. Most likely ready to be cooked/eaten

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If gluttony is a serious sin, why are so many Christians fat? Because they have bad eating habits.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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