What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Nothing. She isn't supposed to chat because it's study hall and they enforce a strict "no talking" policy.

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

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A stripper walks into a bar. She works there.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He threw it, because he had parkinson's!

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Why did the cow jump over the moon? To see outer space

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your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

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Where do cows go to have fun? Cows don't have a concept of fun as such, but they would probably go to a large, sunny field full of lush, green grass with a bubbling river and plenty of shade.

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I once did __________ (went to Hawaii, drank a whole gallon of beer, etc. ), but then I woke up. Works with anything, and people will laugh.

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IMMA FIND YO ASS DO!!!!!

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what do JFK, plato, and a dead penguin have in common? theyre all dead.

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Roses are nice, Violets are glorious, Try not to scare, Oscar Pistorius.

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An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

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Anti-Joke is a knock-off.

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Why are black people so ghetto? because they live in the ghetto

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was really frogger in disguise

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How do you offend a black man? Call him a nigger.

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what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? Whatever you like, it can't hear you.

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Knock knock Who's there The police The police who? Ma'am your son is dead

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refridgerator

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A dozen burly firefighters ready to stick it in your pooper

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because its a horse and cant speak or understand english and gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables and stools.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? I'm sleeping with your wife

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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