What worse than being shot? Waking up and finding a penis in your mouth.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why did Johnny fall down? Because I threw tropical fruit at him.

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So a Jew an Asian and a gay guy all walk into a bar... ...I lied. It was an oven.

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What did Timmy say when the bus crashed? Nothing, it was a horrible crash, he died like everyone else. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Timmy.

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How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

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What did the man say when he dropped an apple on his foot? That might have caused some minor discomfort had I not been wearing shoes.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. They have been planning a girls night out for weeks.

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What has wheels and is green all over? Grass... I was just kidding about the wheels.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know but some black man is starting up his deep-frier on the other side

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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A: Knock Knock. B:Whose there? A:Jehovah witness!

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Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Well why don't you open the door and find out!

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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What do you call a Mexican that crossed the border. An Illegal Immigrant.

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What happen to the man who got drunk and passed out behind the wheel? He crashed into a tree, his car caught fire and then he got incinerated.

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head and dies.

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Q. What did the dead man do after he died? A. Nothing. He's dead.

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What happened to the baby that wondered into oncoming traffic? It got hit by a truck.

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What do you call a black man sitting on his porch in the middle of the night playing a guitar? A Musician.

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What happend to the girl who went to school dreased ugly She took the other students advice and whent home and killed her self

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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