Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins

thumb_up thumb_down -8

person: Ask me if i'm a tree other person: are you a tree? person: no

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why wasn't there an elevator in the rainforest? The rainforest is not capable of managing an elevator because an elevator does in fact require an energy source which is also not capable in a rainforest. The rainforest is filled with animals and is not filled with humans which would make having an elevator in the rainforest useless because the main use of an elevator is to transport humans. The animals in the rainforest would not be able to operate the elevator because using an elevator for them would be advance while humans using elevators is second nature.

thumb_up thumb_down

Person One: Knock Knock Person Two: Whos there? Person One: You can see its obviously me because theres not really a door there.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

yo mama so fat, she weighs 478 pounds and is in high risk of cardiovascular dieses and/or heart failure.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What was the weather like at the rap concert?there was a lil wayne.I DID A FUNNY! !!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do we achieve world peace? KILL EVERYBODY. Nobody can fight when they're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A ninja walked into a dojo and was kindly greeted by his master.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A man comes home from work and find his wife in bed with another man. They realize that they have grown apart over the past few years, and start attending therapy in an ultimately unsuccessful attempt to reconnect with each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

what do you do if a blonde throws you a grenade. scream. run. hide

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What the difference between a ferarri and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage. That would be murder.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

I'm so hungry I could eat food

thumb_up thumb_down +59

What do you call a dirty black person? Unhygienic

thumb_up thumb_down +14

this joke is funny so dont read the rest even though there is no rest

thumb_up thumb_down -9

HOLY SHIT, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting raped mercilessly by Ronald McDonald.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Friends are like penguins because when you throw a polar bear at them they die

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the cannibal order at McDonalds? Big Mac, extra pickle, hold the mayo.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A lawyer met with his client and said.. well, there is some good news and some bad news The bad news is that you're going to prison for life.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Two peanuts were walking down the street. Well actually, they just rolled a bit and then stopped. Peanuts don't have legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

If Jimmy has 50 pieces of candy and eats 40 of them, what does he have now? Jimmy has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What does the latin maid does when I tell har to clean behind the couch? Nothing, she doesn't speak English.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How was Charles Manson able to get women to kill for him? Because he was charismatic and intelligent.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock knock. Who's there? Gestapo. Gestapo who? Your husband is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops