What was Michael Jackson doing at the Dermatologist's office? He was getting a mole on his back examined to be sure it wasn't cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the autistic child say to the doctor? Nothing. His condition is so severe that he is mute and may never talk for the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red Pickles are green I leik ur legs and whats inbetween

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the chicken cross the road? He is seriously pissed off about being repeatedly subjected to this level of intense interrogation. Do you ask other animals why they chase their tails or claw at dirt? Do people ask you why you run when you're late? How would you like to have every move you made transformed into some cliche, old farce? There's a road, he's a chicken, there are only so many possible outcomes.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Who is the most vile man in Britain? Jerry Carr, the guy who works at the casino.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the duck say to the moose? Quack

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man walks into a bar. Jeremy Lin congratulates him for being a person.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

What did the baby get for its 1st birthday? Nothing it was aborted.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the crossing gaurd allowed him to

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the black man die? He drove off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the long term smoker suddenly stop smoking? Because he had a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

knock knock Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did one planet say to the other? Nothing. Space is a vacuum in which sound cannot propagate due to the absence of a matter or particle medium.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the virgin masturbate until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are red, Violets are violet.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Want to hear a dirty joke? Mud.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A ginger man ascends to heaven and reaches the pearly gates, seconds later he wakes up in a hospital bed and realizes it was merely a near death hallucination and God isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

guess what happened to ur mom? my mom is ded... oh...

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats the difference between an elephant and a tomato. You put tomatos in a salad.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops