why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

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A postal worker creeps past a sleeping bulldog. The dog does not wake up, and the mail is delivered successfully.

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How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? (written in 1600 BCE - Westcar Papyrus) -You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree He had no limbs

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oh, brown loaf is fine, i'm on my bike.

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Trust me, you are that kind of girl, and no, you are not nerdy, you are open and down to ground, while your beautiful exterior means a lot to me (I am a man, its the way I am), I would never have wanted to talk to you or even less visit you with a pack (make it five packs) of condoms, if you where the awkward Asperger kind of gal, so how old are you, like seriously?

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? -Who's there? Not the girl.

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What do you call it when a black man kills an Asian man? Murder.

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This is a swimmer Joke. Chuck Norris once lapped a kid in the 50 free... LONG COURSE.

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When life gives you lemons, That's physically impossible. Life cannot physically hand you lemons.

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roses are red, violets are blue, f*** you wh*re

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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What did the man say when he walked into a bar? Nothing because he got knocked out because he was running too fast and hit his head.

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Knock knock. Whos there Time to get a watch

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What did the caterpillar say when he emerged from his chrysalis? I am a butterfly.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Irune. Irune who? Irune my life with all this red sand.

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What did the blind man say to his best friend? All i see is darkness and i want to end my life

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Why do asians have such thin eyes? Genetics

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A man walks into a bar. He says ow

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There was a man sinking in quick sand. He looked in the sky and said, "God, if you spare my life, I'll be a great person and believe in you all my life." He died.

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Hello we are from the church of the latter day saints.

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Anti jokes are funny

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why was the boy's face burnt? a horrible accident involving a lighter and some hairspray

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Why was little Jimmy so sad? Because he was H.I.V. positive

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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