What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Recycling anti-jokes

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What colour is chocolate? Brown.

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What's worse than a duck with one leg? A nuclear explosion

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Help I'm being raped!

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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What's black, green, and doesn't have to take a shower? I have no idea.

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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What do you do when you see an epileptic having a fit in the bath? Laugh at him

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If i was gay... I would have strong sexual feelings towards peolple of the same sex as me

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how do you get a taco? Buy one!

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus

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Why are there so many jokes about germans on Anti-Joke? Because the Germans epitomize the flavour of anti-jokes perfectly and they have the whole nazi history thing going on which is ripe ground for many an anti-joke

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There are 5 men in a desert a black man a white man a gay a lesbian and a white woman they have no food or water and haven't had any in 3 weeks civilization is 1 mile away how many people live and which ones They all die you can only live 3 days without water.

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I had sex with my mother in law

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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You know that Duck song on youtube? I dont get it... ducks cant talk...

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What did the Germans cook in their giant oven made for cooking jews? Jews.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Downs Syndrome... and a ding-dong potato

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Why is is afraid of seven? Because seven is a date rapist

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Knock knock! Who's there? A doorbell-salesman

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I got drunk last night and woke up in a bed and that's when I saw it. A 400 pound woman was in front of me and I could see the sweat drip down her ass fat and she let out a putrid fart right in my face. It smelt like rotten eggs and cheesy cauliflower. I am horrified.

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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whats softer than a furry blanket an indian

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A penguin is driving through Arizona when his car's oil pressure light comes on. He drops his car off with a mechanic who says he'll get to it soon, and to come back in an hour. The penguin leaves the garage and, seeing a Baskin-Robbins across the street, stops in and orders a dish of ice cream. As he eats the ice cream he reflects on the series of extraordinary events that led him to this place, this time, this situation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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