My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The interrupting doctor. The inter-- --You have cancer.

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How to you confuse an Alzheimer's patient? Present her with a complicated nuclear physics problem.

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Why did the women cover up her vaginal area? She was with her friends, queefed, and was extremely self conscious.

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I'm a like whore

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Four gay men go to a bar and enjoy a drink celebrating their long lived platonic relationship.

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What did the kid with no arms get for christmas? No one knows he hasn't been able to open his presents yet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

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The once was a little girl named Suzy who liked swings; the only trouble was that she had no arms. In order to avoid having any jokes written (and recycled thousands of times) about this fact, she decided to run a sponsored marathon in order to pay for prosthetic arms. Suzy swung happily for the rest of her days. [L]

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You know what's funny? A bucket full of dead babies. Do you know what's funnier? The last one is still alive and crying.

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Where were guinea pigs created? Probably in Guinea Land or something.

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knock knock?? whos there?? Not yo cheese because i already ate it

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An Italian man with a very thick accent decides to travel to America. On arriving, he decides to take a taxi and tour the nearby city. The man, feeling hungry after a while, chooses to stop at a bakery. Upon entering the bakery, the man walks up to the display of bread, and points at the loaves of bread he wanted, calling to the baker "I want 2 piece." The baker, not understanding the man's accent asks the man to repeat what he said. So the man repeats, "I want 2 piece, right here, right now." "Sure thing," the baker says, and gives the man the loaves of bread.

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What is the differnece between the chair and the pot? You can't cook in the chair.

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Why did the man rape the woman? He had a lapse in judgement.

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Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

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Whats a never ending Opium for the stupid, mentally depraved un educated population? Christianity

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Roses are black Violets are black Oh fuck I'm blind!

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How much Cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? A lot!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Hatch. Hatch who? God bless you.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Too many because they are babies and they don't have the motor skills to properly use a paintbrush.

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Why did the Hindu eat the Mongolian? He tried, the Mongolian raped him.

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whats better than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees whats better than 1 baby nailed to 10 trees? 10 trees nailed to 1 baby

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Sometimes I fantasize about having sexual relations with Oprah Winfrey. Sometimes I don't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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