so a horse walks into a bar right, and he goes up to the bartender, and the bartender being a smartass says why the long face(get because hes a horse), and the horse says his wife is dying of lung cancer, child services are taking his kids away , and im addicted to crack and that is why i have a long face the bartender then gives him the next round for free and the the horse dies of alchohol poisoning

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the boy confused? Because somebody had been running around in circles around him and throwing plastic cups at his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -105

what did one sandwich say to another sandwich? nothing, sandwiches cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Wat is brown and sticky? A stick

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why was the black person sent to the back of the bus? All of the front and middle seats were taken.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

So a baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

A British man walks into a dentist's office.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

how many members of the australian greens party does it take to write legislation? none, it's already been done for them by Karl Marx

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did Joseph kick the pig in the face? He though it'd be funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's worse than swing a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did William commit suicide? Because his grandmother had recently died of terminal cancer. His mother left him on the front step when he was two, and moved to Tennessee with her baby daddy.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Barack Obama, George W. Bush and Dick Cheney are in a room, what are they doing? A: Breathing

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A Knock, Knock B There's no door. What are you knocking on?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why was the man itchy? because he had herpies

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Do you know why i dont write poems Because i thought that violets were violets OTARTS...WAS...HERE

thumb_up thumb_down -11

One man says to another "Hey you have banana in your ears." The other man replies "I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

thumb_up thumb_down +51

How much does a fat penguin weigh? 45 kilograms.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

why is your hair black? it was heretitery.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

The tall man says; How's theweather downn there? he's talking to smurf

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A fish finds that his fishbowl is on fire. He escapes the bowl only to realize he is equally screwed.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What looks like a 50p and has a narrow back?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares, it's a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops