ROSS G IS OBESE

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What happened to Bilbo? He shit his pants.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why didn't the cow go to the candy store It had diabetes poor cow :(

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

thumb_up thumb_down -194

Why was chuck norris the anti christ? Christianity was being threatened....

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt will thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Waiter, waiter! There's a fly in my soup! Apologies for the inconvenience sir, I shall bring you a new bowl as soon as possible.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you get when you post the same thing a million times? Hate

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the kid with cancer gt for Christmas? Nothing. He didn't make it that long

thumb_up thumb_down +18

your mum

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you get with you crossbreed a lamp with a chicken? Nothing... You can't crossbreed an inanimate object with a living being.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

who lives in a pinaple under the sea? japanesse people!

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because i was keeping his family at gun-point on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Guess what? Chicken butt? Poultry gluteus maximus!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is black, white and red all over? Many things.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A Horse walks into a bar. Everyone dies

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Twenty-Four

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was the black man eating fried chicken and watermelon? He was at home

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? I don't know considering it was never done before, and that the size of the pancake would have to be taken into account. Although I would suggest you use a better material like wood, plastic, or metal.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A woman has sex with an Asian man, then a white man, and then a black man. She chooses to be in a relationship with the black man because he is prepared for the responsibilities of a relationship and the other two men, though both are well endowed, are not ready.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.... Knock, Knock, Who's there?: Not Sarah

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops