What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

There once was an old lady who lived in shoe. She had so many children, her uterus fell out.

Knock, Knock Who's there? The IRS, we're taking your house. This is a vacation notice, please be out of the property in 30 days. Have a nice day.

Why did the kid need glasses? A monkey threw a fridge at him.

What's the difference between Justin Beiber and a horrible singer? Nothing.

Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because numbers, like people, are afraid of all things bigger than themselves

What is worse than a papercut? Losing your legs in Vietnam.

What's black and white and eats like horse? A zebra.

Can you guess what one black child got while passing through an all-white neighborhood in the middle of the night? Home safely.

What's worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two buses.

Women.

An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running away from KFC.

whats worse than falling off of your bike? thats as bad as it gets,try to think of something else

I never knew I was dyslexic. Then one day I showed up to a toga party dressed as a goat.

Why didn't the boy come out of the closet? He had no legs.

I like my women like I like my pancakes: Flipped over, inanimate, motionless, and covered in my syrup.

What did the pitcher say to the batter who hit the ball very far? Wow, you hit that ball very far.

Why was the blonde sad? Her phone was broken due to an NNEMP.

Why didn't the baby cry? It was stillborn.

What do you get when you cross drugs with a bathtub? Whitney Houston's worst nightmare

what the difference between ET and polish people? ET is an alien and polish people are human

A nun, a jew, and a KKK member are all stuck together in a lifeboat. A large wave overturns the boat and they all drown.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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