why did the chicken cross the road? because he frickin wanted to!!!!!!

What's the difference between an old man and a child? The old man is older than the child

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Sandwich.

Nobody enjoys your company. Nobody likes your work. Nobody loves you. There is no person who's name is legitimately nobody.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because lately the posts on "anti-joke.com" have not been anti-jokes. Not even a little.

Okay, one second.

Why did the tomato blush? A tomato's complexion is already red so it simply appears to be blushing

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.

What's the difference between a watermelon and a dead black person? There aren't 50 watermelons buried in my backyard.

What did the black person say when his white friend said "Nigga!"? "You know, I really don't get racist jokes like this."

What di the wrecking ball say to the house? Duck!!!

Why was the white man's girlfriend a whore? Because she engaged in sexual relations with a multitude of other men.

What Do You Call The White House When Obama Is President? What? The White House.

Yo mama's so fat, she possesses a Body Mass Index that is above the recommended value for healthy individuals and thus will have a greater risk for heart disease and other related health problems.

Roses are red Violets are blue So is your face Cuz I just gagged you

Cancer.

How do you fit 45 Jews into a car? 5 in the car 40 in the ashtray.

Is your refrigerator running? If so, it sounds like you've got a well manufactured, correctly working appliance. If not, you might want to either have a technician come over and look at it or you should simply replace it with a working one.

hey I just met you and this is crazy but get in my van

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? It's a spicy sort of stew, you'd enjoy it.

Can God do anything even if it's impossible? Yes. Can God make a rock so heavy he can't lift it? Yes. Can he lift that rock? Yes. Then he just failed at making a rock so heavy he can't lift it

What do you call a pakie flying a plane The pilot... or a terrorist it up to you

What is green with wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

Women's rights.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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