So i know this guy... yes? thats it.

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A blonde, brunette and redhead are stuck on an island that is a mile away from any civilisation.The blonde decides to swim to find help. The blonde swims half a mile, has a rest and then carries on swimming.

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What is green, ugly and can't empty his bowels without exerting a tremendous amount of energy? A constipated, ugly, green thing.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme oo

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what was the first thing Barack Obama said to the people of america? ... hi

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Q: How do you get a black guy out of a tree? A: You cut the rope.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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dumbledore says,"today we will learn new spells,any questions?" a student says,"are you serious?" dumbledore says,"no he is in jail for a crime he didn't commit,sort of like the a-team."

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how do u make a plummer cry? Kill his children.... :)

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? It is highly unlikely one would have a supply of dead babies large enough to answer this question.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot was a potato.

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What do you call a baby in a blender? The newest Doritos dip.

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Why did the blonde run into a screen door? Because screen doors are difficult to see when one is running at full speed

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He nearly died, and was diagnosed with numerous dietary problems.

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Not Steve Jobs

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What's worse than homework? A basket full of mutilated puppies....

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How do you get four gay guys to sit on one barstool? It's quite difficult, it would be easier to just get 3 more barstools.

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what has 52 teeth and holds back a monster? my zipper

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Not only did 7 have that intimidating look to him, but 6 had recently found out that he was a well known mob boss who also went by the name of Lucky Seven. he was in charge of a gang called The Prime Numbers. They had been terrorizing 6's city for sometime now, whether it was stealing, mugging, or even killing or vandalism. 6 sure had a lot to fear, but he knew things might turn out well, as 6 had a great ability to try his best and do what he believed in: Justice

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A Jew, A black, and a Hispanic jump off a building. Who hits the ground first? Who cares.

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What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

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What's better than eating baby? Nothing.

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How did the Mexican get into the United States? He showed his passport, and the correct documents & information, and was admitted into the country as a new American citizen.

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a man is running away

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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