What did the Mexican say when a house fell on him? Nothing. He's dead.

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What did the duck say to the pickle? Quack

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Whats a frogs favorite year? 2009!

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Women's rights

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

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Why didn't the sperm cell cross the road? It died from the intense heat.

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Q. why didnt the boy get a christmas present from his dear grandmother? A. because she died on thanksgiving

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What do you call a lubia chin jew slave?

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guess what Beethoven is doing right now. de-composing

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Ian's mind Elevator music

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Three men went into a bar; one was blind, another deaf and the third was mute. The blind guy said "Did you SEE that?" The deaf guy said "WHAT?" And the mute said "...."

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My love life

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Why does a chicken lay an egg? If she'd throw it, it would break.

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Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

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I Love You Jordan! P.S. from someone you know

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Why did the parents order the 16 year old daughter to move out of Virginia? Because she lost her virginity

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What did the Chinese restaurants do with dogs that wander into the kitchen? Kept them as pets.

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What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

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What happens when a leprechaun refuses to give you his pot of gold? He doesn't give you his gold.

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A guy who plays shooting games acquires an assault rifle but he doesn't kill anyone, why? Because he was a nice and peaceful man who loves his wife.

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What did one Stoner say to the other? "I'm hungry, let's order pizza."

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Why didn't the blonde finish her book? She died.

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Why couldn't little Suzie snap her fingers? Her stepfather cut off her fingers after becoming a drunk and leaving her family.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She didn't. Despite losing her arms in a terrible accident as a child, Suzy persevered to become a renowned gymnast. After several turns as a champion Special Olympian, Suzy retired from sports in order to tour elementary schools as a guest speaker. She inspired thousands of disabled children across North America and was a highly-respected orator. Suzy sadly passed away in 2009 at the age of 62. She is survived by her two lovely daughters, Karen and Michelle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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