SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He loved working with tourists.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's witness Damn...

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong is an astronaut. Michael Jackson abuses little kids.

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Wanna hear a joke!? Miley Cyrus.

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What happened to the dying kangaroo? He died What animal is not in the lion king? Kangaroo --why? Because he died...

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What did the house do when it came alive? It went home

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Why did the blonde shoot her dog? Because it had rabies

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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Libyans stage a protest. They get massacred.

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pubic lice.

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What do you think 3 black men want when the come and knock on your car window? They just want directions.

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Oh you expected a funny joke? Oh well

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what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? On average 2,950, however, this has not been properly tested due to obvious reasons.

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How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

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What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

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What did the cow call the hen? A hen, what else would you call it?

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What is the difference between a peasant and a pheasant? One's a bird.

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A man walks into a bar. - - - - - - - - -

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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I just read the long joke posted earlier. I have no life. :(

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-Knock knock -Come on in!

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The President, a terrorist, a student, and a genius were on a crashing plane. They all died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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