What is invisible and smells like bananas? Monkey Farts.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Yo mama is so nasty she won't take a shower till she is dead you idiot says the boy she won't die she has twenty thousand live

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave was beginning to get very scared of his best friend at this time, so he ran away panicking.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What animal is green and eats rocks? The green rockeater

thumb_up thumb_down +333

Two guys walk into a bar the third guy ducks

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock Knock Who's There Mailman Mailman who? Sir, I don't have time for this, take your mail.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

So a blonde woman gets into her car. She then drives to the grocery store because she is hungry and wants to buy food to make her dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: If two lesbians are in a relationship, who makes the sandwiches? A: They both do.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

why do you kill people in call of duty you don't you kill computer made figures

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why is Joel even here? Sexperience.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are black biolets are black I colorblind

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the difference between Jesus and a painting? It only takes one nail to hang up a painting.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? *awkward silence* What did the deaf guy say to the mute guy? *Awkward silence....huh?*

thumb_up thumb_down +27

So after 2 years of dating, the man thought the woman actually loved him. So to find out they took a ski trip and during their day they were on the chairlift and the man asked the woman "Do you love me?" The woman replied "No...I'm just in it for the sex, but that's a nice ski mask you have on"

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie Thum thump Who's there Bethany Hamilton

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: What's worse than a dead baby? A: A dead baby with diarrhea.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks him, "Would you like a drink?". The horse cannot understand english and is confused by its surroundings. The horse gallops out of the bar knocking over a few stools

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A black man and a muslim enter a bar. The Black man pulls out a gun in an attempt to commit a robbery, however the muslim opened his jacket, screamed "Allah Akkbar" and blew himself up. Everyone died.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Q. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman? A. Cause you have to hollow out it's head! A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears. The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?" The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. Still not satisfied, the doctor asked, "Well, what happened to the other ear?" "The sucker called again!"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops