Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

Rob Bell

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, he also had no parents.

Bob fell off his roof.

What rhymes with you? You.

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

Knock, knock. Who's there? Who. Who who? "My name ism't really who, it's Thomas. I thought it'd be funny if I made you say who who, as though imitating an owl. However, I understand that childish jokes like that are not funny and if anything stupid and immature. I am sorry for wasting your time. I will go continue my solitary life alone in a crappy tenement... Damn government. They have money to fight wars against foreign countries and yet no money goes to feeding the poor. Do you think life of easy for me loving like this?! I'm such a lost cause not even my own parents want to see me! And I'll be damned if they're still alive. A dad who beat me and got drunk even night, and a mom with breast cancer"(Thomas, overwhelmed, proceeds to have a mental breakdown). The man at the door comes out to comfort him. "It's alright man. i'll help you out." He let's Jeffrey stay with him for the next four months. They both get raped by a T-Rex.

How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

How do you stop someone from simply copying an already posted anti-joke? No, seriously, how do you?

A hispanic lesbian couple accidentally walk into a country western themed bar. And leave immediately as a bar is no place for their 2 year old son.

Hey you must be a parking ticket, because your yellow.

Whats worse than getting an eye gouged out? Getting both eyes gouged out?

I love boobs

Two weeks ago, my brother walked into a flea market and asked if they sold fleas. He's so silly.

The man was allergic to water. He unfortunately died because water is needed to sustain health as a human.

What did Christopher Colombus say to his men before they boarded the boat to sail around the world? Get on the boat.

whats worse than 9/11? not much haaaa

Why did the blonde become a cannibal? Because she got hungry.

what's red and blue? your heart

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

Who is a knob? ross d

Why did the angry husband murder his cheating wife? She forgot to cook dinner.

What is the square root of 69? 8.306623863

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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