An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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Chris:"knock, knock" Rhianna:"owwww..." Chris:"open da door" Rhianna:"so u can punch me in the face" Chris:"duhhh, I jus got brass knuckles"

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Q: How does Lady Gaga like her meat? A: Exactly what her preference is.

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year old's? I am twenty one and prefer older ladies as I find them more experienced and mature.

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There once was a man named bulagala moo moo boom chicka boom. Sometimes, when wipe the toilet tissue breaks and my fingers get all dirty. Good thing I have insurance!

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Hi

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how many jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? none their all dead.

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What did the therapist say to the other therapist? We are both therapists

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Uh, erm, uh...I don't know.

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Q:What do you call a bird with wings? A:A bird -Ryan Vallee

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A fish swims into a wall. Says dam.

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The awkward moment when Delilah got hit by a bus.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the bird

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A fish swims into a bar The town is flooded and thousands are dead

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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Three blondes walk into a bar. I prematurely ejaculate.

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What did Sally get for Christmas? Nothing, Sally is dead

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Q. Which one do you hate more? Jews, Mexicans, or Asians. A. I hate all of them, but jews are annoying when they resist getting stuffed in the oven.

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Dance is a sport

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What do you calla baby nailed to a wall? Art.

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Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

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Brown Bear, Brown Bear what do you see? I see some poachers looking at that tiger over there.

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Q: what did Katy Perry say when someone told her that she was adaopted? A: That's not true, my parents took pictures of me in the hospital just minutes after I was born.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a beer, drinks it and walks out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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