How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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If you call a quiz a quizzicle, what do you call a test? A set of questions or problems used as a means of evaluating the abilities, aptitudes, skills, or performance of an individual or group.

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Nah, its fine, I just went to get a popsicle, and its square, so don't get any ideas. Honestly? When I first met "some jerk" calling himself Nero here, I began calling myself Nero, because I thought that the jerk that turned out to be you, Nero himself, sigh. was screwing over his own reputation. But now I realize that what makes you who you are, is that you say whats on your mind without going "oh no what will others think about me, what if this or that happens", you accept yourself for who you are, and if the rest do not, well screw them right? As you told me at first and proved to me during our conversations, you respect and value individuality and integrity. And well, you are a guy, you think like a guy (I honestly dont think we girls think that differently, we are simply socially indoctrinated or "engineered" in order to think that we do), I mean let me say something really honest here. Nero, I only dare say this once, so take me seriously I really want you to fuck me, and yeah, I may say that when we meet too, considering I have not even said it yet, just in my head... Anyway, its not something I am insecure about nor ever was and blahblahblah, the end, oh, and yeah, I really want and need a friend like you.

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Hellen Keller

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what is brown and shaped like a tree?

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

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What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

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The dewey decimal system

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How do you circumsize a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw.

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A black man and a mexican jump from a tree. Who hits the ground first? The mexican. The black man had a rope tied around his neck.

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Whats sad about a city bus full of black people exploding. NOTHING

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a boy jumps off a building why? because he's afraid of heights

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what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black

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What did bob say when he was told his beloved parents were dying? "oh"

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What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

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Women's Rights

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time to spruce up!

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? The pig rolled in the mud!

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What is black and blue, with nothing to do? The prostitute in my basement.

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Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

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A man and his friend are talking. The man says, "You know what's funny? Sometimes you mean to say one thing and you say a completely different thing. Like the other day I wanted to buy a ticket to pittsburgh, but the lady I was buying it from had very large breasts, so I accidentally said 'Can I have a picket to titsburgh?'" And the other guy says, "Yeah, man, it's really funny you say that, the other day I meant to ask my wife to pass the salt, and I said 'you whore, you ruined my life'"

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no? sense Microwave

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Interrupting Doctor Interru--- You Have Cancer...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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