how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Not enough

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: Why didnt the dinosaurs cross the road? A: Because theyre all dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

how did the fat man survive the plane crash? he didn't, he died like everyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than the Holocaust? People trying to be funny writing the same jokes over and over.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did I do last night?work

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit! I can talk too!"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you treat people that cannot say no in just two seconds? (redux and spellchecked) Treatment: Hi...: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! SAY IT MUAHAHAHA! People: NO PLEASE I CANT! NOOOOOO! *door unlocks* Problem solved, NEXT!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What does the funeral director say at a jewish funeral? Ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock knock Who's there? Knock Knock I said who's there? My name is Knock Knock Oh hi Knock Knock, come in

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Roses are red, violets are blue, twilight is gay and Justi Bieber too.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats the difference between a black man and a banana? Banana's don't hijack planes.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Making a good analogy is like making a chocolate sundae; either way there are simply no reindeer left, and the glass of water you once had is now gone.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's blue and pink and sweet? Cotton candy.

thumb_up thumb_down +124

What does a joke and an anti-joke have in common? Nothing, since "anti-" refers to the opposite of the word that it is modifying.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How do you make a baby spin? Put it in a blender and turn it on.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Banana Hamock.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I heard the new Batman movie was to die for

thumb_up thumb_down -87

A black man walks into a bar and a white man says "we don't allow coloured men in here". the black man sighs and walks out, wondering what he ever did wrong, and makes his way to the liqour store, to buy some beer to drown his sorrows over his mothers death. On the way, a racist white man shoots and kills him. Then, at his funeral, someone makes the joke "Wow, how ironic. The black guy was the victim.."

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the road? It is hard to know things like that.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are Red Violets are blue This joke isn't funny And neither are you!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Next up, Sharpi and Ryan take their audition faliure very seriously in "columbine high school musical"

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She didn't have a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops