What's the best way to win a race? Run faster than all other participants.

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Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? A Derrick Rose jersey.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken had just escaped from the slaughterhouse where he witnessed the brutal decapitation of his entire family and in his heightened emotional state was unable to map out a safer and more sensible route.

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A paraplegic walks into a bar.

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What's yellow and can not swim? A Bulldozer

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Your mother is so ugly that her physical appearance causes her to have a low self-esteem.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

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Q: Why do so many of these anti jokes contain refrigerators? A: Seriously I don't know why

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What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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The way I see it, there are two types of people. Some are female and some a male.

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Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.

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What starts with an F and ends with a UCK? Firetruck.

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How could you ever watch a man hit another man and say nothing? UFC is on at 9:00pm.

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How do you scare Sarah Palin? You chase her around with a chainsaw while wearing a Jason mask.

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What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

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My hair is thin, therefore the person beside me wears oddly looking clothes CC

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We are as to jokes as atheists are to religion.

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your mammas so poor she is probably going die in a few days of starvation

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How did Bob survive the plane crash? He didn't

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Ryan Holden is a faggot.

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Why can't so many guys get it up? Because erectile dysfunction affects 30 million men nationwide.

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There was a young boy walking to school. and he found a red hairbrush on the ground. He then proceeded to walk to school. During lunch he examined the haircrush and it looked perfectly normal. A few days later, he decided he was bored with the hairbrush and decided to place it in a tree. A girl found the hairbrush. The end. You just wasted 30 seconds of your life. Ha.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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