Roses are red Violets are blue Does this rag smell Like chloroform to you?

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What did the rabbi say at the party? Mazel Tov.

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Q: What did little Timmy get from his mother this Christmas? A: The contents of her will.

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Why did the woman fall off her bike? She got hit by a car door

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get away from a gigantic tiger slowly stalking him

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What's Arabs' cutlery? Bread

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Q: Why doesn't the Mexican belong in St. Louis? A: Because he ran away from home, his family lives in Kansas City.

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What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

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What do you call a fast black man with big muscles? A good source of minorities evolving.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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How do you confuse your algebra teacher? Tell her to prove that she exists.

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Why did grandma drop the dish? She had a heart attack and died, falling to the ground and thus bringing the plate with her to the floor.

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penis

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Why did the plane crash? Because the engine wasnt working.

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I learned a new party trick over the weekend; I swallow a piece of string and it comes out my other end tied! I shit you knot.

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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Your so stupid, that your stupid.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color

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whats worst then dieng in a videogame

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Santa and smart blond jump off a building who lands frost none nethither exist

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Your mother is so fat that her BMI is larger than average.

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The umpire asked the baseball coach "Who is that on 1st base?" The baseball coach said "Who." The umpire said "Yes, that's what I'm asking." The baseball coach handed the umpire a list of his players to avoid any further confusion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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