How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

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What is black and white and red all over? Two Nuns in a chainsaw fight.

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Why do Jews make sure their cars can stop on a dime? So if something happens unexpectedly when they are driving they have a better chance of avoiding a dangerous collision.

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Jeff goes to the store, Helen Keller.

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mom:why oh why are you such an idiotic nuisance? bobby:THATS HOW YOU WANTED ME BORN!!REMEMBER?you asked the doctor to put something in me to make me so stupid i wouldnt remember WHO gave birth to me!!

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Did the boy ever tell you how he died? Trick questions he's dead, deceased bodies can't talk.

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What's one thing good about cancer? (make them guess) Nothing you fricking prick!

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How to you confuse an Alzheimer's patient? Present her with a complicated nuclear physics problem.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, who shat in my garden

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gay marriage.

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Why are Chinese people only allowed one child? Because their government states so.

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What did the collage professor say to the plumber? Hi.

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How did little Timmy die? He was ripped to shreds by a violent badger.

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Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He got cancer.

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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How can you tell if your goldfish is male or female? Put some fishfood in the bowl, if he swims to the food it's a male, if she swims to the food it's a female.

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What do you call an englishman who wakes up in Africa Confused

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whats bright and yellow? the sun.

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A blind man cant see this joke, so I probably shouldnt write it..

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It's kind of hard to die when you're in a freezer.

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When I walk in the rain, I get wet

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who the hell keeps shiting in my garden

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

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The game!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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