What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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How do you make a builder sad? You shit on his bricks.

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a man walks into a bar several people leave as they can see the potential danger in the situation. - the man (also so known as a hippo) was Matt Ross

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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How do you know it's a bad day? When your brain does not release a high enough level of seratonin.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was unaware that it could get run over by a motor vehicle.

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Q: What's the worst part about being a black Jew? A: You have to sit at the back of the oven.

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Q: What did Jenna Jameson say when she heard hard banging near the front door? A: Come inside

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KGB Yes, How can I help? We are looking for a local serbian mobster who we believe to be hiding in this Village have you seen this man. No I cant say I have. Sorry Well thank you for your time and if you notice anything please try and let the local Police know.

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Charlie, Charlie the drunk guinea pig! OUR BEST FRIEND!!! Angel Charlie: I'm already dead yah poof!!! Butt cancer killed me.....

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I was driving to Wal-Mart the other day and I saw a black man in a white Murcielago. I thought to myself that he must be doing good. Because everything he owns is white..... dick

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Can you guess the following words? Boo*s s*x *orn g*y cu*t b*tch Answers: Books, six, horn, guy, cult, batch.

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What happened after a Mexican drank 4 shots? He got drunk and died in a car accident.

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Two black guys walked into a bar. And they killed everybody.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A watermelon doesn't scream when you cut it open.

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How do you say hooker in Chinese? ?

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Knock Knock! Who's There! That's right! And now for our next song: "Magic Bus!" One TwoThree Four.....

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What do you do with a dog with no legs? Take it for a drag.

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Doctor doctor, i think i need glasses! Go to an opticians then...

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What happens when a bunch of animals break into your house... they eat you.

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What can a pizza do that a Jew can't? Pizzas can't do anything, so the answers are infinite.

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What do you say when you see your tv floating at night? Drop it, nigga!!

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a blind-deaf-mute.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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