What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

When life gives you lemons, you throw them at your friends. If they throw them back, duck

thumb_up thumb_down -7

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

There once was a man from Peru Who fell asleep in a canoe He got a slight case of sunburn which improved later after applying some ointment.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the man cross the road He didn't, he died after being hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the cancer patient say to the arab? the tumors hurt my body

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have cancer, How 'bout you?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested butter

thumb_up thumb_down +13

My mother has great posture. She's paralyzed from the neck down.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats funnier than a jew holding a nickel. Nothing. Jews are cheap.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

there r three guys on a bridge. They r chinese,mexican,&american. They each have a bottle of beer. The chinese dude says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. Then the mexican says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. The american takes a drink of his and sets it down he looks at the mexican and says I have enough of these in my country and throws the mexican over the bridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was the girl crying? Because I raped her

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q. what tall and looks like a jew? A.TODD

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's worse than having but sex and finding out you have aids? Knowing that the person you had sex with was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I walked into a Mcdonald's and ordered a Big Mac. I regretted it later.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you know when an elephant is in your refrigerator Theres printson the cheese cakes

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's the sound of victory? The sound of a knife cutting into a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There's this Priest, a Rabbi and a Preacher talking about how similar they are.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

if your mother was put in a situation where she could either have sex with a man or a woman she would pick the woman

thumb_up thumb_down -24

ermm Hello ? what about me says rishi with a tear down his eye

thumb_up thumb_down -15

João Duarte reads this.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

first

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops