Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, Show me your ti ts.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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It was at the war and there was a camp site where a doctors helped injured soldiers. One soldier comes in the door and holds his arm. The doctor says "You got shot in the arm?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and holding his shoulder. The doctor says "You got shot in the shoulder?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and was dragging his left leg across the floor. The doctor says "You got shot in your leg?" The soldier says "No, I stepped on dog shhhttt."

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a blonde and a brunette sit down to take an IQ test. They both scored above average and were very proud.

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Why did the CEO step down? Because he was very ill and could no longer meet his duties and expectations as Pear’s CEO.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? D-12.

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There once was a man from Nantucket Whose name was Mike

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Sally went to an R-Kelly concert what happend when she came out? No one because R-Kelly peed on sally and cops came in.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? I would rather live in a world a chicken's motives would not be questioned.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? I can't think of one at the moment...

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A child in Africa developed Malaria. He became very sick and died.

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A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a door? Various answers are acceptable. The door has hinges, a black guy has legs, etc.

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Why was the Amish man dead? Because he fell off of his fridge, while trying to screw in a light bulb.

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The song Barbra Streisand has more than 2 words.

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whats worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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an alien is walking down the street he can't breathe our air and quickly suffocates and dies

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mum, I've just raped her

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Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition.

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Q- How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A- You Poke Her Face

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Q: What's the difference between a vampire and a lawyer? A: A lot of things.

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What is the difference between a white man and black man who are facing each other? They have different rights.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it ran away and it's coop was on the other side of the road

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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