Okay, I just really want you to trust me again,

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how Sudan answered England when England's ambassador eaten by Sudanese people? Eat ours

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Q: What do you call a man with a spade in his head? A: An ambulance.

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When geese fly south, why is one side of the V usually longer than the other? There are more geese on that side.

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it was 3 am in the morning and i was stopped by 2 black men in an alley. we said hey to eachother and went along

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Why do cats burp quietly, because they aren't men

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Red my dear, we are no exceptions.

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What do you get when you mix a turtle and a dog An animal

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whats more embarissing rhan being raped by a squirel? Being a 40 year old virgin working at mcdonalds

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Why'd the Squirrel fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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Why did the man kill himself? Because he had a gun

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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theres a fork in a drawer half way open and a knife in a cup on the counter. how does the knife get into the drawer, it cant knife are incapable of moving

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What is the hardest thing about eating a vegetable? the wheelchair

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knock, knock. use the doorbell next time.

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A child is in class. He really has to go to the bathroom. The teacher tells him if he can recite the alphabet, he can go to the bathroom. The kid holds his breath and goes A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z. The teacher tells him good job and allows him to go to the bathroom. When the kid got there there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy. when the teacher noticed the boy was gone for a long time, he went to check on him. When the teacher saw the dead naked body of the boy hanging from the ceiling, he shot himself. The teacher had a family of a wife and 3 sons. The principal of the school had to call the Wife and let her know about the tragedy. The principal also thought this would be a good time to tell the wife that her husband has been having a homosexual affair with him. The wife takes her three sons and drives off a bridge. They all die minus one son (age 14) who had to grow up on the street with other homeless men. He became addicted to crack and when he ran out of places to get money from he decided to rob his old home. He broke into the house and didn't know that a new family has moved in, a married couple and their 1 year old baby. He doesn't want to go to jail, so he kills the baby, spreads the blood all over the parents, ties the dad up and makes him watch his wife get raped, then he shoots the parents before putting the gun on himself. A police officer who responded to the scene had a heart condition and the scene of the crime caused him to have a heart attack. But, he got to the hospital in time and lived.

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What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. I just bought a new xbox.

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What did the the girl say to the deaf boy after he asked her out? He doesn't know

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thermodynamics?

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, you murdered ten people.

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What is white a can't climb up a tree? A fridge.

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Did you hear about the Australian man who was jumped by a gang of Americans with knifes? He had his cash and possessions stolen from him, and had to spend two weeks in hospital due to stab wounds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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