A: Where does a cow go on the weekends? B: To the mooooovies? A: No, to the slaughterhouse.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the little girl die so suddenly? The bullet got her right in the heart.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head's so far from his body.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Where do the biggest potatoes grow? the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Whats the difference between two flies? Nothing, they're both flies.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Hail Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the comedian tell the audience? A well thought out joke that anyone can relate to because that is what the point of a joke is.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is the difference between a black baby and a tractor? A tractor is heavy and a baby is not

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the head repeatedly

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A 14 year girl enjoys exploring the sexual regions of her body, whilst having one of her intimate sessions her brother walks into her room. Her brother was a rather sexual 17 year old, who has had sex with several different girls, and is not afraid to try new things. the brother says " get a room to his sister... oh wait" and walks out

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man walked into a bar. Ow!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

There once was a man from Nantucket. He said it was a great place to retire.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I like cheese. You like cheese. Have a nice day.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Tom: So I heard a pretty good Anti-Joke the other day. Jim: Oh, I love those!! What was it? Tom: [says nothing]

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many chickens did Moses bring to the ark? 2

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is the biggest lie that's still close to the truth? You came out of your momma's asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a turkey, idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

I SWEAR TO GOD I'M NOT GAY! But my boyfriend is. Love you, Jeff.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: Why was the little girl cowering in a closet in a corner. A: Because there was a murderer/rapist in her house with her oarents gone.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

ask me if im a house are you a house? no

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops