A dog walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "why the long face?" The dog replies, "because I am a dog you idiot, my face always looks like this"

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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a man walked into a bar "ouch"

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Someone told me once, but i had terrible memory so I had them tell me again.

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A forty-year-old man forces a young child to strip down and take a shower. The child screams and cries, but the man persists angily. He then carries the child into his bed. The child pleads, "Help! Mom, make him stop!" The mother yells back, "Just listen to him. He's your father and it's past your bedtime." This is a common night-time routine for parents with their first child

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Why couldn't the Nativity have taken place in France? The winters are not warm enough to sleep in an animal cave without getting hypothermia, and there was no census taking place at the time.

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What is the difference between you and Chuck Norris? You're reading this and he's probably doing something productive.

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Who didn't let the gorilla into the ballet? The people who were in charge of that decision.

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There was this girl who suffered for her whole life and then she died. It was very liberating.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Minecraft!

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

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why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

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a man runs over his wife, who is at fault? -The man he shouldn't have been driving in the kitchen.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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nock nock " whos there" , "open the door and you will see

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Why is Kim Jong Un so fat? Because he takes all the food in the country and sends his own people to live in concentration camps!

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Whats worse than your shoe being untied? 911

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I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? No Neither has he.

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Q. What's green, has wheels and flies? A. A garbage truck.

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Bumsniffer

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Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

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What did the man without a tongue say...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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