Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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this is gay

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Refrigerator

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A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

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they say that cancer can't pass but why do three our your uncles have it

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Have I ever told you that you looked beautiful? No. Ok, good.

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What do you get when you cut a stick of butter? a butt.

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Richard Gere has a girlfriend called Goldie

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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Do you want to hear a joke? Well you can't because you are reading this

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

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Little Johnny is sleeping overnight at a school camping trip. The teacher goes around to check tents to make sure everybody is falling asleep fine. Little Johnny, however, says, "Miss, I am scared of the dark. Can I sleep in your tent instead?" The teacher reluctantly agrees, finishes checking around and brings Little Johnny to her tent. "Miss, can I play with your belly button with my finger? My mommy lets me", asks little Johnny. The teacher reluctantly agrees. Suddenly, the teacher jumps up. "THAT WASN'T MY BELLY BUTTON!", she shouts. "Yeah," says Little Johnny. "Well that wasn't my finger, either."

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

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Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There must have been something that peaked her interest.

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A bunch of nuns were riding a three-seat bicycle. The seats were comfy and no one complained.

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lol a man is drowning

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Why are pirates called pirates? Because it derives from the Latin word, pirata.

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Why did a black kid kill his teacher? No reason. That what they do

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What's black, white, and red all over? A intro of darkness, then redness then whiteness

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why did the lady take anti depressants? because she was depressed

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Mary- Hey Dallas, do you have a suitcase? Dallas- Yeah, why? Mary- I need a suitcase

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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