Two guys walk into a bar, and they ordered two drinks. Then the bartender said, "Two dollars, please." - Brandie PANG

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Praise Paisley

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Murder me once, shame on you.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Quinn Grifith Randel lives in Roswell, GA

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the girl fall of the swing because she was pushed of by obama

thumb_up thumb_down +16

BAr intO a wAlks… sorry I wrote that joke after walking out of a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the pineapple say to the orange? Nothing; Neither a pineapple nor an orange contains the necessary muscles to produce speech.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's the difference between difference and between? One is difference the other is between.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats green and gets you really high? A green airplane

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the man go to Lourdes Because he has lost all hope

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Do you like impressions? Why? That's Socrates

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why can't Bob go to the store? He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

Don't worry about giving me your phone number, I'll just follow you home later.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

what's worse than the Holocaust. Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do people from Indian Hill laugh? Like an Indian, huh, huh, huh!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did Superman say when he forgot his cape? "Where's my cape?"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the black guy drown in the river?? unfortunately he owed 10,000 dollars to a loan shark and couldnt pay his dues So he was tied to an anchor and put in the river.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why can't Jimmy walk ever again? Because when he was 12 his father mistook him for a plank of wood a sawed his legs off. We may realise here that this prohibits him from walking.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why did Samantha fall off the building? She was hit by a flying fridge dropped by a traffic helicopter.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the bird fall out of the sky, It hit one of the random green pipes.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

how many licks does it take to get too the tootsie center of a tootsie pop. Well it depends on how you eat it, there is always the option of biting it, so there is no defined answer, as well as ones lick might absorb more of the lollipop then another mans.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops