What did Marshawn Lynch say? Yeah

America were the American dream is something only foreigners believe in

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

How do you catch a unique animal? You get professional hunters to catch the animal.

Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

Pretty vague, if I did not know you, Id conclude you where working for some mob syndicate or something.

Why was Bill in jail? He stabbed 17 black people because they didn't deserve welfare checks.

I couldn't afford a hair cut... So i contracted cancer.

How do you hurt a clown? shoot it.

What did the black man say to his wife? Nothing, she had died earlier that year after a long battle with cancer.

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

i heard something so funny it made me crap my pants you were a mistake

What happens if George Washington is still alive? World population increases by 1

Why did the Chicken cross the road? He was on his way home from work and saw some youths loitering on the street corner and thought it best to avoid them and therefore any possible confrontation. He would also appreciate it if you would call him something along the lines of Bravery impaired instead of a chicken as he finds it offensive and doesn't fully understand the avian reference to his lack of confidence.

One time Chuck Norris cried. He felt slightly better after the experience, but, unfortunately, his grandmother still died of cancer.

Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.

Knock Knock! EXPLOSION!!!!

What's got four legs but can't move by itself? A chair.

What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

What do you call a kid with no arms annd legs? Names

why do black people like to play basketball steal shoot and run

i get knocked down, but i don't get up again. my leg is broken and therefore makes it extremely difficult for me to stand up on my own.

Two monkeys are lying in a tree. Big monkey and little monkey, little monkey bites the big monkey's tale, big monkey starts jumping around the place shouting. Little monkey just starts laughing and takes another sip of whiskey.

2 guys walk into a bar, a third guy carefully ducks under it

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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