"You've got a lot of C in your body." said the doctor. Jimmy replied with glee: "Ah that's great news, vitamin C is.." "No you've got Hepatitis C, you'll be dead within a month."

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How do you escape prison? Kill everyone in it hen once you have escaped find their families and viciously murder them. Are they going the send you back to prison? No because you will kill everyone.

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What did the Jewish boy get for Christmas? Jews don't celebrate Christmas

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the guy on tv right now isnt funny. i blame canada

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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What did one cupcake say to the other cupcake? I want to eat you.

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what rhymes with sloth? -RaPe-

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Yo momma so thin, she admitted herself into an in-patient counseling center for anorexic and bulimic patients.

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What do you call a piece of celery with peanut butter on it? your moms dead

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What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you? Run.

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Seth stock has a large penis

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Why did James come back to drive the boat again this year? Because he likes driving boats and towing passengers

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Animal

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Why did the muslim cross the road? To get to the other Saiid.

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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Boy it's sure cold out today. Die

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Guess what my nephew said yesterday? oh wait, i forgot hes dead..

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What do you call a man which busts ghosts A ghostbuster. Duh

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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A jew, a black man, an Irishman, a Scotsman, an Englishman, an American, and a muslim walk into a bar. They discuss their racial, political and religious opinions and walk away after a pleasant evening.

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Tim: You wanna hear an anti-joke? Billy: Yes! Tim: Okay, I've got one for you Billy: Let's hear it! Tim: 1

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whats worse than killing people that have bags on their heads? finding out that the people that u have just killed were your own children.

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Nope, but yeah Felix looks a lot like Mickey Mouse, I think, nah it was Oswald the Lucky rabbit I believe, and he used to get his ass kicked by... Damn, what`s the name of the fat cat that beat up Mickey in steamboat willie?

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What do u call a dumb Asian. An american

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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