Why did the mammoth cross the road? For financial reasons.

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink without making any grammatical errors.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To avoid the avoid the nuclear bomb at hiroshima

There once was a man from Nantucket. He lived a long, full life. Outside of Nantucket. But he visited occasionally.

An Unicorn walks into a club, the bartender promised to quit drugs and thanks to that his family didn't fall apart and he lived happily till he was 89 when he passed away surrounded by loved ones.

What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust No, the Holocaust never even happened, you're an idiot.

Q:What's worse than stepping on lego? A:Hiroshima.

Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim on land... it's called having a swimming pool

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is blind and deaf, so it wold be near impossible for her to do so without seriously injuring herself or another human being.

the doctor says to the patient " i have some good news and some bad news" the patient says well what is it dock " well the good news is your fine " the patient asked what the bad news was and the doctor said " i lied about you being fine you have aids, and testicular cancer and you have 2 days to live"

yo mama so fat, she weighs 478 pounds and is in high risk of cardiovascular dieses and/or heart failure.

If a tree falls in the woods, how many animals lost their home to deforestation?

What happens when you cross a starfish with a dog? Dogs and chickens are from a different phylum, they are genetically incompatible.

What's funnier than the world ending? Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder in a staring contest.

Q - What do you call a bunch of white people on a bench? A - The nba - Cool Bean

Why was the woman bald? She was a Britney spears fan.

Girl: I wanna get yo pants. Boy: but im wearing shorts.

What did the boy find I'n his water? Ice

I dont hate you Lets just say if you were on fire and i had water id drink it

Why did the man get a tattoo? A: he wanted to express himself.

A blind man is jumped and doesn't see it coming

What do you call two black men walking down a stairwell? Their names.

A man walks into the doctor's office and says "Doc my leg really hurts when I poke it like this." The doctor replies, "Yes, that is a knife."

Knock knock. Who's there? ... Damn knick knockers.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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