What did the autistic child say to the doctor? Nothing. His condition is so severe that he is mute and may never talk for the rest of his life.

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I asked the librarian for a book on suicide. She said "I'm sorry we don't have those in stock." So I just hung myself.

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Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN's ON FIRE!!!!!

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his wife in the hospital. She has terminal cancer.

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What do you call a orphan with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Scrood

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What has two legs and is covered in red. Half a dog.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by Osama.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A: A quadriplegic.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't become rotisserie with a side of hash brown.

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I bont really understand dyslectic peapole

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? - "Robin, get in the Batmobile"

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What's worse than losing the remote? Dying of cancer.

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way do Japan bomb pearl harbor because America hat sex with China [watch Hetalia]

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how do you kill a zombie? Zombies arent real.

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Uh, if I say that I am that girl, am I going to be safe?

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Why we in a Falln tank!!!? Be cause the plane exploded!!!!!!!

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What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

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A ginger kid, a blonde kid and a brunette jump off a 50 foot building... All of them die apart from all of them because luckily there was a swimming pool at the bottom

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What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson after being hit by a train.

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Knock Knock Who's There Santa Santa Who? I stole your dog.

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aodhan hearty is a fruit fly

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A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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I was bangin this girl and she kept yelling the wrong name. Who's raape?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops