A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face"? The horse does not respond, because it is a horse and lacks any cognitive ability to speak or understand English. Instead, it becomes confused by its surroundings, takes a dump on the floor, and gallops out of the bar knocking a few tables over in the process.

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open it up and stick him in. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Take out the elephant and put in the giraffe.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To retrieve his dead relatives in the middle of the street.

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Why did the man go to jail? He abused and later murdered his spouse.

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What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

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Why couldn't the pirate get into the adult movie? He had just spent the last of his money at Ihop with his friends, and is now regretting ordering two Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruitys when he was really only hungry for one.

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Q. What do you call a bear ripping a man to pieces? A. A bear.

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What do you call a man who laughed at a joke that wasn't funny? A man who gets amused at the littlest things.

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why did the chicken cross the road?... it actually didn't

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Q. What time is your appointment with the Chinese dentist? A. 20 past 4

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What did the guy who walked into a bar say? Ouch

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if a black man, a Chinese man, and an Indian were about to jump off the Eiffel tower, who would hit the ground first? who cares?

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A black guy, Jewish guy, Chinese guy and a normal guy walk into a bar. They were all normal but the race of the last guy could not be easily determined.

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whats black and has 3 legs? a spider with 5 missing legs.duh.

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An Aussie, a Mexican and an Asian walk into a bra. You read that wrong.

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-What do you say to a woman with Two Black eyes?. -Are you really that dumb to leave the kitchen twice -Elder High School

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Knock knock. Who's there? ... Damn knick knockers.

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if ruddel jumped on your back what do you do leave him on or pull him offf? shoot him.

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A blindman walks into a bar... then a chair, then a pole

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What did the blonde say when she saw anti-joke.com for the first time? Nothing. She's been in a vegetative state for three years and her parents finally decided to pull the plug.

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun......he is a 25-year veteran SWAT team officer attempting to arrest two armed robbers that have 5 old ladies hostage.

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Why did Jesus and his friends get crucified? So they could sing: "Always look at the bright side of life" Moral: Monty Python?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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