A man walks into a bar. He pulls out a knife, shoots the bar tender, and then kills himself.

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak. Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak who? Moo.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This difference is due largely to the alteration of the white light wavelenght as it excites the electrons in both flowers and the absorption of most of the other colours of the spectrum.

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what does a granny look best in? 1950

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 'Cause 7 slept with 8 and punched 4 in the face.

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Q. What's pink and fluffy A. Pink fluff Q. What's blue and fluffy A. Blue fluff

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YOOO MOMMA LIKE A BIG MAC FAT JUICE AND ONLY WORTH A BUCK!!!!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.. A: Knock Knock B: Who's there? A: Not Sally

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You know how they say cats have nine lives? They don't.

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whats brown and sticky? shit

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Bariande: I have a belly button Kraken: haha who doesnt? MissAwkward: i dont Barinade: neither do i. haha this happened on tiny chat.

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BOTTOM!!!

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them

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How do you call a hispanic man crossing the border? First you must find out his phone number, then using a different phone make a phone call to him.

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Why did the Mexican jump the American border? Because he wanted a better paying job to support his family, and legal immagration to the States is a lengthy and highly difficult process.

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Simba from the Lion King? One is a cartoon character from a beloved Disney classic and the other is the current President of the United States of America.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because due to the crashing economy he feels the need tom travel far distanced for work and food to support his growing family, this causes him to take dangerous routes of travel through hazardous areas with fast moving automobiles that potential have the chance to kill or severely Maine the distressed chicken. Not only does he have to cross these roads twice a day he is also under the added pressure of many millions of people questions why he takes such chivalrous actions to save the his future descent and the steep decline in the population of chicken.

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whats worse than forgetting to buy cinnamon toast crunch at the grocery store? Getting beat to death with a gallon of rotten milk...

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Whats worse than not having cellphone service? Having sex unwillingly with a stranger then getting pregnant at the age of 13.

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It's good to be a scientist and great to be a biologist. However, it is never okay to be a scientologist.

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Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It escaped the zoo.

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Roses are red Violets are victorious 2 in a chamber Mr pistorius

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A blonde, a brunette and a red-head find a mirror with a message on it that says "Stand in front of the mirror and say something you think is true. If it is true, I'll grant you a wish. If it is wrong, you'll be sucked inside the mirror and be trapped there forever." The blonde, who is standing in front of the mirror, says "I think this is a stupid joke." and nothing happened.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops