An Irishman, a Mexican and an American sit a test. They all pass.

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What do you call a dumb friend? Sam.

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Why couldn't the grandma remember what she did last night? Because she has Alzeihmers and grandmas don't do anything.

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how do you get someone out of a chair? hit him with a shovel

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What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

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What's the difference between you and a sick duck? I forget the rest but your mother's a whore.

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a guy named bob likes sprinkles on his ice cream.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate the chicken.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning and isolation and, as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newtons of force per square centimetre required to break bones.

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Kony 2012 - Uganda Be Kidding Me

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We don't know if he even did, how would we know why? There were no cameras at the intersection he crossed at. Therefor the question is unanswerable. Unless the chicken admits to it........ ........ Chickens can't talk.

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. What does he order? Nothing. The horse was incapable of speaking English then shat on the floor, kicked over a chair and then left.

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Why is there an owl out during the day? I don't know.

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When I grow up, I don't want to be a therapist. I have enough trouble figuring out the problems in my math book.

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knock knock, who's there, white, white who, white van, RUN!

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was very hungrey and saw some seed on the other side.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

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A child walk's into a bar. And gets sexually abused.

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Did you hear about that guy? He had a wonderful morning.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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OneBigAssMistakeAmerica

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Why was the lady fat. She ate a lot of food.

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haha

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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