What did the cat say to another ? meow

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What's long, brown, and runs across a family's backward? A fence.

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Q;what do you call a fish with two knees and personally HANDS out JOBS A: a blowfish

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Good for him. Thats wonderful!

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What's up? Not the planes, there's a terrorist on board

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ring ring young man: dad? mom's dead? woman: i think you dialed the wrong number young man: .......oh im sorry, you're absolutely right, silly me! woman: don't worry about it. young man: (chuckles) click

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse says "my wife has cancer"

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There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day"

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What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson? Spelling.

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What's worse than Fantasy Basketball? Playing Fantasy WNBA.

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What did the poor guy get for christmas? The homeless guy.

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so today i took a poop. hehe

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

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Why didn't Pat's grandma go to his birthday party? Because she died last night

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Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

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Two gay guys walked in to a bar. It's unfair of me to make the assumption that they're gay, they just be really good friends whom aren't opposed to touching each other.

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A midget goes up to a prostitute and asks "what’s the worst joke you ever heard?" She replies "probably this one

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1+1= 69

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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whats worse then a truck full of babies? if it went off a cliff into a canyon full of knives.

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What do you call a black guy who is a lifeguard An African American male who puts his safety before others

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What do you call a muslim in an airplane? Whatever his name may be, though you could, of course, choose not to address him, though if it were a two-seater plane, it would be good manners to exchange polite conversation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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