How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know but you're a sick person even thinking about it.

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A blonde walks into a library. "PLEASE CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER?!" he shouts at the top of his lungs. "Sir, this is a library," the librarian says. "Oh, sorry," he whispers and goes to McDonald's Two years of the routine and he dies of of heart failure and has diabetes.

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Q: What do you call a guy that is smart? A: A SMART Guy.

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What do the villagers say when they see Tarzan swinging into town? Look, here comes Tarzan! What do the villagers say when they see Tarzan swinging into town with sunglasses on? Nothing. They don't recognize him.

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Did you hear about the guy who lost his arm and leg in a car crash? Well, he just died in hospital. RIP.

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your mom is so blind she cant read.

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A batch of muffins is cooking in the oven, one muffin says to the others "it's hot in here!" the other muffins don't respond because they're muffins. He's the only of his kind.

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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Your mother is so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and eat foods with nutritional value.

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a child swallows a cleaning product, why is he given chocolate milk? to make him happy before he dies

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What did the man tell his parents after having sex with another man? A. I am gay.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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An Asian man and an Irish man are standing at the bus stop, chatting casually, while waiting for the bus to arrive. The Irish man then turns to the Asian and says, "Despite our blatant differences in both race and culture, perhaps someday when we are both available, we can meet and talk civilly about our everyday lives over a cup of coffee."

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How do you kill a lawyer? Stab him 50 times in the chest, slit him open and take all of his organs out one by one. Burn what you have left. That should do the trick. OMG I AM EVIL

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What's long, hard, and full of semen? a penis.

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whats better than a dead baby..... wait..... whats worse than a dead baby...... never mind its not that funny anymore

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What happen to the boys drink when the girl took a Sharp turn? Nothing the lid was securely fastened.

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Why was the boy sad The boy wanted a puppy for his Birthday So his parents got him a Toy dog Later that year he was found dead with the Toy Dog shoved down his mouth gagging him.

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XD, Okay, but you gotta marry me too XD Its working again I am skipping class tonight, how about you come by uh, the day after tomorrow? And bring condoms I don't have any.

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Mullets

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What do you call 10 old black people in a barn? Used farm equipment

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Christians

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Why can't antelopes fly? Because they can't

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Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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