How many dead babies does it take to fill up a car? Dead babies should be reported to the police and not be stuffed into cars.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did Mary punch herself in the stomach? -she was pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Do you know how I know that you're gay? You told me you are gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Did you hear about the elderly bank robber? Me neither.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating on the water? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Q: What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A: A pharmacist

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q. Why did the Muslim go to hell? A. Because his name was Osama Bin laden.

thumb_up thumb_down

what happened to the little kid on a bicycle? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Jeremy has 8 apples. Susie has 3. how much does Jason have? Purple because aliens don't like grapes.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's worse than 1000 babies tied to a tree? 1 baby tied to 1000 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

knock, knock Who's there? Statefarm... and we are always gonna be there for you

thumb_up thumb_down -16

You have 37 candy bars and you give your friend 12. What is the square route of the sun? Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walk to the store and buys some clothes.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's red and eats tulips? Your face!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A very unskillful basketball team enters a basketball tournament. They had little chance of winning and concluded with a loss.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

What do you call a horse with out ears? A horse with out ears?

thumb_up thumb_down -34

a bunch of guys did cocain for the first time. they later died from a drug over dose.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What did the banana say to the bear? Nothing, banana's can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at his genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

You suck big fat slobber

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into a bar, ouch!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

3 black guys walk into a restaurant and they sat down, ate their meals, and even tipped the waitor handsomely then for about 10 minutes they talk and then leave restaurant. Soon after a white guy comes and holds up the place for all it's money then killing three hostages before being taken down by the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops