What is worse than getting a 30% on a test? Getting a 29% on a test.

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im gay because im gay

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Why should you rape a dog instead of a human. Because there esier to catch

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omg this doesn't work 1.hold breath for 5 minutes 2.die it doesn't work cause you would just knock yourself unconconsiuse and your body will start breathing for you again until you wake up

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What do friends and trees have in common? They will fall over if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

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Knock knock Who's there? No one you care bout so why did u say who's there?

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Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a classified space mission for N.A.S.A.

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Why is 16 scared of 17? Because 17, 18, 19 *crickets*

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Why is the deer afraid of the hunter? Because he doesn't want to get shot.

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Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because he was dead...

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I am a mime

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ALL OF YOU NO MORE CURSING EVEN THOUGH ITS NOT POSSABLE SO DON'T LISTEN

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i like cats

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What do you call a person trying to rob a store with no arms? Peter Pan

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What did Jesus say as he walked on water and people went like WOHOO! OMG WE ARE TOTALLY GOING TO CHISEL THIS INTO JEWTUBE SO EVERYONE CAN SEE! "BEHOLD AS I WALK UPON THIS WATER WHILE ALL OF YOU HAVE FAILED BEFORE ME! ONLY I CAN WALK OF THIS WATER OF FROZEN WITHOUT SLIPPING! Nero: Because go fuck yourself asshole. Lol... Jewtube was not as widely available as youtube so yeah... Walking on ice without falling over was a big thing back then... You know such as OMG! EATING BREAD AND DRINKING WINE! WOOOOOOAAAAH SCIENCE! AND BURNING BUSHES SPOKE AND... Moral: "Ill be back, you know, just to annoy you, and because I want to, a real man needs no other reason, and that is why you fuckers need so many of them"

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Why did Timmy drop his ball? Because he was hit by a bus. A) Knock knock? B) Who's there? C) Not Timmy

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What happened when a boy threw a ball at the wall? It hit him in the face

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A white man and a black man play a game of basketball, who wins? It depends who's better

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I'm a white rapper I do it all the time Folks don't like me cuz my words don't match

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Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

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How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

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What do a plum and an elephant have in common? They're both gray, except for the plum

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How do you kill a blonde? You stab her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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