two men walk into a bar. they get a concussion.

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roses are red tulips are too, violets are violet, not freaking blue.

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walk briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

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Why did the clown chase the boy? The boy was sad and needed cheering up

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Two black guys jump off of a building; who falls first? The one that jumped first

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What did the guy say when he dropped his baby? "oh no!"

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What happens 2 seconds after you thorw a rock out a two-story window? The rock hits the ground.

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Your future.

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"Welcome to Mcdonalds, Would you like to try our new Chicken BigMac today?" "No"

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue It is Valentines Day So I had to get them for you or we would get into a big fight, which will end up with me on the couch.

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Fucked up quotes: "When walking trough hell, keep going!" (I just turn back and walk the other way thank you, I mean worst case I walk trough heaven right?" "Never give up, ever ever ever ever ever..." (Ill just end it with etc because I gave up something as hard as... Typing?) "Curiosity killed the cat" (Translated: "Curiosity kills, stay inside forever" What?)

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Ask the starving African.

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Why were the sea hawks fans mad at the Super Bowl? Because why would you throw the ball if you have one yard to go

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A man and his wife are disagreeing about what type of car to get. The wife continously nags him about getting her something that will go from 0-200 in 4 seconds, so he gets her a scale and buys himself a truck, 1 min later an abulance is called because the wife hit the husband with his new car.

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A man walks into a bar . . . he is tired and thirsty after a long day at work.

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why is dog animal? it is not fish! 18 fits of has hair only have is Buddhist

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What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

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Why did the white bartender kick out a black man and his Mexican friend out of the bar? It was closing time

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23

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Why did the girl fall She didn't she was eaten by a bear

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How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper painted red.

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Whats the difference between a muslim and a christian? They believe in different things.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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