Lets make like trees and stand still

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A man walks through a doorway but there was a door there so he got injured

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Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

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What starts with F and ends with uck? Fire truck

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Why did the White guy wanna be Black? He liked basketball.

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What did the iceberg say when Titanic crashed on it? "Yeah!"

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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a pope and priest walk into a bar what's the first thing they say? OUCH my head

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So a leg, an arm and a head win the Boston marathon. And I'm sitting here masturbating, ...

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Q. Why did little suzy fall off her swing? A. She dosen`t have any arms. Knock knock. Whos there? Not Suzy.

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Why did little polly fall off her her roof? Because she saw a ice-cream van

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q. whats worse than finding your girlfriend cheating on you a. the holocaust

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you ever hear the joke about the rabbi, the pope and an elephant? No? well its a good one...

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What did the white doctor say to the black doctor? We both went to medical school.

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Why was John sad? His parents were murdered.

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Do you know why the kid jumped down the 50 foot hole? I dont know, jump in and ask him.

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What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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Q: Why did the bully hit the kid A:Because he is a bully-I thought that would have been self explanitory.

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A man is unemployed, ugly, short, fat, smelly and stupid. That's what she said.

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Why can't Stephen Hawking go to the moon? He can, it would require a great sum of money, and extensive anti-gravity training.

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So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

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How do you unclog a toilet? You call a plumber.

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Bob: Whats the difference between a fish and a microwave? Steve: I don't know Bob: Daaaamn your dumb!

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Q: Why do homeless people smell bad? A: Because they live on the street and they dont take showers it's very sad sometimes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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