A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital due to a large aneurysm that has burst in his brain because he walked into the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Bob Saget that is all

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you call a partially deaf obese man? Anything you want, it's unlikely that he'll hear you. If he does manage to catch what you said, your chances of outrunning him are very good considering that he's likely to tire before you, unless you're overweight yourself of course. If this is the case then perhaps you should hit the gym, obesity is a growing problem in the Western world and greatly increases your chance of heart disease and/or diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

One muffin doesn't say anything to another muffin while baking in an oven because they lack the organs necessary to attain properties of speech and thought

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A Muslim on a plane yells out "Hijack!" Jack replies with "Hello" and the two engage in a casual conversation for the duration of the flight.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's dried up and smells like potatoes? Potato ships and school french fries.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

thumb_up thumb_down -117

Why did Jennifer shit herself? Because there was a black man staring through her window!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: What's white, black, and red all over? A: The yellow brick road

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A black person and a hispanic person are in a car, who is driving? The black person, after all it's his car.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red, Violets are purple

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I saw a coin one day but never picked it up. It was still there the next day and then the day after that when it was still there I saw a girl being sick on it...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A cockroach walks into a bar. The bar seems to have a pest problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? Nothing, they were the ones convicted of raping that white girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Men's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +6

knock knock Who's there? The repo man Why? You're being evicted

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: What did the shark say while eating the surfer A: Nothing, his mouth was full, and besides....sharks cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Blonds are cute and so are u.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the plane crash? Because, it's pilot was a bagel.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What's multicoloured and spins around while screaming in agony? A: A clown in a washing machine.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why does everyone like this website? ... because every other joke a little baby is dying.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What does the young boy say to the gay man Hello Jacob, because he was raised to respect and treat gays equally

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A kitten walks into a bar and orders a saucer of milk. Everyone enjoys the novelty of his presence.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

ballsack

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops