What did George Washingtn say to is men before crossing the Delaware? Men, get in the boat.

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What do a purple grape and an elephant have in common? They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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John Travolta went to a seafood disco last week.

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how many jews does it take for me to be able to have sex with my cousin's girlfriend? idk, but that's how many I need. actually let me have some extras. couldn't hurt.

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I like boys!!!!! CC

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet his friend the horse at a bar

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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http://anti-joke.com/

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Boob

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? It is a science fiction show about a time traveller

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Why do Jews have such large noses? Hereditary genetics.

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The original joke: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The anti joke, aka realistic edition: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT YAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH!" The ballon edition: Original: "Balloon! Watch out for that Cactus!" "What Cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (leaking air you slowmo) The anti-joke aka realistic version: "Balloon watch out for that pointy soda!" "What soda *pop*" Moral: None of these where the least realistic!

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A bike.

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Q: What did the bartender say to the Arab as he was walking in? A: Nothing, the bomb had already killed them both.

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What did the taxi friver say to the man? "You forgot your briefcase"

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Justin beiber..

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What did the dog say when the woman put a sweater on him? Nothing, dogs can't talk and he has no idea what is going on

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How do you kill a Jewish person? You shoot him multiple times in the face

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A little boy who was sleeping in his parents' bed woke up in the middle of the night only to discover his mother performing fellatio on his father. "Mommy, mommy," he said . . . except he didn't -- he said nothing, and the incident troubled him for many years.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took an arrow to the knee and had armor so it deflected off. Then I found out my wife was pregnant.

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Q: Why couldn't the man get laid? A: Women were afraid of his 7 testes and 4 penises.

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Knock knock. Come right on in.

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sit in the dark for about 4 or 5 hours covered in Vaseline with a huge dildo inside of your arse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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