My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what do you call a mexican with a rubber blanket cold

thumb_up thumb_down +1

friends are like onions when you chop them up you cry but when you throw them out of a window, you dont

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

There was an english man, and irishman and an pakistani sitting in a bar. What a wonderful example of racial & cultural differences bing put to one side while they are socialising in a friendly environment.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Terry's penis oh wait! what penis But I'm not a rapper

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Hobos are like Obama they want change.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Your mama is so ugly. But she is still a respected member of the community

thumb_up thumb_down -23

"your momma's so fat that she died in her sleep last night," said the doctor. "There was nothing we could do."

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What did the English teacher write on a sheet of assignment criteria? The assignment criteria. Plus, she spelled "millennium" wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Me Chinese Me no joke Me die of cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How did the blonde get blood on her Ipad? A terrible paper cut.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

thumb_up thumb_down +136

What was the little boys least favorite part of Christmas? Getting raped by his uncle.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A pirate walks out of a bar. He drowns in a puddle.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Try this on someone... go up and say "Ive got a great knock knock joke for you but you have to start" there response "Ok, knock knock" you say "Who's there?" They are usually dumbfounded and a hilarious awkward silence ensues

thumb_up thumb_down +3,636

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is the difference between a fridge? I'm sorry, I have a severe mental disability and telling jokes is not... F'tang F'tang Zoop Pong Wii!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats worse than getting a B+ in Biology? Getting raped by a scorpion.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What does the fox say? Nothing a fox is incapable of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

how do you get a black guy out of a tree? ask himnicely and if he doesn't promptly call the fire department

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q - What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a trampoline? A - I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops