Roses are red Violets are blue And so does your mom…

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What's a bit smaller than the tallest man in the world? The 2nd tallest man in the world.

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Why did the boy die at his Halloween party? He was the victim of a drive-by.

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Why did the kid fall off the bike? Because he was paraplegic.

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Why did the black man get pulled over by a cop? He was driving 12 miles over the speed limit.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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What do you call a bus full of lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A tragedy

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "what would you like to drink?". The horse, unable to comprehend english, just nods and proceeds to shit on the floor

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There once was a mountain climber. He loved to climb mountains. He had climbed all of the world's tallest peaks...except Mount Everest. So, one day he decides to climb Mount Everest. He takes weeks and weeks to prepare himself. He trains and trains three times a day till he thinks he is ready to climb Mount Everest. Climbing up it takes forever. It feels like it has been days in the dreary cold. Finally, he reaches the peak. It is a glorious occasion. On the way down, a huuuuge storm rolls in. He falls down a cliff and breaks both of his legs. The pain is unbearable. He screams and screams but no one hears him. Finally after what seems like days, a group of monks find him and carry him to their monastery. Chapter Two Once the man wakes up he thanks the monks for saving his life. They give him a room, food, and nice clothes. Every night in his room, he hears a banging behind his dresser. It is really loud and he is quite annoyed by it. The next morning he asked the head monk what the noise is. The head monk says " I cannot tell you, you aren't a monk." He hears the banging noise every night. HE asks the head monk every morning but he always says he cant tell him because he isn't a monk. So the climber decides to become a monk. After years and years of training to become a monk, he finally becomes one. Chapter Three So he says to the head monk, " I am a monk, so now can you tell me?" The head monk replies, " I can't tell you, but i can help show you. So he pushes the drawer back and reveals a little door, He gives the man a lantern and says to go through it. The man goes through the door into a little, dark tunnel, eager to finally find out what the noise was. He crawls for what seems like hours and hours and hours and days and days and days and days. He finally gets to the door where the banging noise is and opens the door. What he sees amazes him. Do you want to know what the banging noise was? I cant tel you, you aren't a monk!

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I like the way he thinks. Too bad he has alzheimers.

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What do you call a horse standing alone in an empty field? Tesco's own Beef Lasagne.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

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What worse than being shot? Waking up and finding a penis in your mouth.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Q.whats the difference between a women's argument and a knife A. a knife has a point

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Why wasn't the boy at his basketball game? - Because he, his twin brother, and pregnant mother all died in a fatal car accident involving a train on the way their.

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A blind man asked me out last night. I told him I was seeing someone...

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What do you call a black astronaut? An astronaut you racist

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Why did the cow cross the road? It was escorted by its owner to get to the slaughter-house.

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Why didn't the Hawaiian man know how to surf? He lives in Kansas

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Yo mama so fat that her weight is starting to tear her and your father apart.

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A man with no face walks into a bar, another man sees this and promptly asks "Sir, why do you have no face?" The first man says nothing and walks away.

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Why did the gay man sneek out of the brothel? Because he was ashamed of his well paying reception job

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What do you call a kid with cancer? screwed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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