When did the black man go to the pharmacy and why ? His wife , for whom he cared very much , had a cold and he had to get her prescription for her . On top of that , he had a horrible problem problem with painkillers that caused him to have an aneurysm on the way there .

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A blind man walks past a fish market, pauses, takes in a big sniff, and says, "Good morning ladies!" to the women walking by wearing too much perfume.

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A kid is riding down the street when his chain pops off his bicycle. The kid yells "God damn!" as he begins to fix it. A priest walking nearby overhears the boy taking god's name in vein and says "Don't say 'God damn' say 'God help us'". The kid says, "I am an atheist, get away from me".

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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Why did the Mexican mow lawns? He needed money to pay for his college tuition.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Bob

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Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like rhymes Penis

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What did hitler give his granddaughter? A gas bill.

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Your moms so dumb she stuffed a battery up her butt and said i got the POWA!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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2 men were friends 1 went to hell The other went to heaven

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What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck What starts with P and ends with ORN? Popcorn What starts with B and ends with ITCH? Bewitch

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"Almost as accidental as your spelling I'm afraid." -...

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A man walked into a bar. That must have really hurt him.

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Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have altzhiemers Cheese on toast.

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Why was the Jew sad Because it was Christmas.

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Roses are Red, violets are blue, I have STD, Now so do you. :3

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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Your momma's so broke she might be eligible for government assistance. Seriously she should totally look into it.

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How was a blonde woman able to get into Harvard? She was smart and had a very good SAT score.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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