"What would you do if i gave you a million dollars?" "I would scream and jump up and down? Are you really gonna give me a million dollars?" "No i just wanted to see what you would have said, that's all"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could be slaughtered and eaten for dinner.

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What is worse then losing your remote? Falling off a cliff landing on a sharp rock and dying slowly.

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A man used a ruler to measure his foot, it was size 11

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how do you keep a black kid from jumping on the bed? pick up a parenting book ask him nicely try a time out not care because he's a kid and hes supposed to jump on beds?

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How many men do you have to have sex with to show that you're gay? But, I'm a woman!

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What's the difference between your garage and mine? A pile of dead babies.

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Roses are red. My name is dave. This poem makes no sense. Microwave.

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Shit Happens....or sometimes it doesn't! As the person is taken to the hospital with severe constipation.

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Lol XD,now that is bad ass of you to say that, what about her, does she get to go around too?

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What did the cow say when he saw his family get murdered? Moo.

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What did the mexican firefighter name his 2 children? Jose and Juan.

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what did the left foot say to the right foot? Nothing, feet don't talk

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Pete and repeat were on a boat. Repeat fell off, who was left?

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Why did Susan fall of the swing? She had no arms... Knock Knock... Who's there? Not Susan...

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What happends to a monkey without arms.. He bleeds..

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What happens when you shoot a black man? You go to prison because murder is a criminal offense.

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How do you make an electrician cry? You kidnap him and his mother, tie them both to chairs in your garage, and force him to watch you stab his mother repeatedly in the face while laughing and licking up her blood and tears. Then cut his arms and legs off, lock him in a cage with his mothers body, and go in there everyday and eat a delicious meal while watching him starve to death next to his dead mother.

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What do call a black piano player? A pianist.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in every apple.

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How do you kill an already dead man? You don't he's already dead.

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Why did the little boy chase after his ball? Because it rolled away

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Why were the 3 men wearing black suits? They just left their mothers funeral, she died of terminal cancer.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it was a rather hot day and his attention was momentarily directed towards something else.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops