How do you make a baby float? Two scopes of Ice cream and two scopes of baby.....and the holocaust.

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Woman + Kitchen = sandwich

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Gods like Santa one day you'll get to the age of reason and see how dumb you were

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YOUR MOTHER IS SO FAT that she sought a relevant support group. My understanding is that she tried Overeater's Anonymous and lost a few pounds, but it meant more that it improved her sense of self-worth. She's more comfortable with herself as a somewhat overweight woman, and a much happier person now. We're all very proud of her.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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Q: what would george washington be doing if he were alive right now? A: screaming in his grave

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So FDR walks into a bar.

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Whats long hard and has seaman? A submarine!

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what's worse than stubbing your toe on cement being a Jew during the holcaust

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Whats worse than passing out drunk and having your friends draw on your face? When you die of alcohol poisoning in the morning

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What did the dinosaur say to the human? For one, dinosaur's don't talk. And two, humans were not roaming the Earth during this time.

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Why did the German burn the Jew? Because he dropped his tea.

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What did the girl say when she arrived at the party? "I like what you did with the furniture!"

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A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his village.

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"My foot is killing me" "no, actually it's that noose around your neck"

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Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

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How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? it was dead.

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What did the widow get for mother's day? A miscarriage

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SAY

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What do you call a black airman? A pilot!

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What's worst than realizing your mom is actually a transvestite? Simultaneously realizing this means you are adopted

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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