time to spruce up!

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? The pig rolled in the mud!

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What is black and blue, with nothing to do? The prostitute in my basement.

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Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

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A man and his friend are talking. The man says, "You know what's funny? Sometimes you mean to say one thing and you say a completely different thing. Like the other day I wanted to buy a ticket to pittsburgh, but the lady I was buying it from had very large breasts, so I accidentally said 'Can I have a picket to titsburgh?'" And the other guy says, "Yeah, man, it's really funny you say that, the other day I meant to ask my wife to pass the salt, and I said 'you whore, you ruined my life'"

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no? sense Microwave

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Interrupting Doctor Interru--- You Have Cancer...

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ecks! why zee?

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

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Is your refrigerator running? If so, you are on drugs, and should see help.

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... Your mom's a wh0re.

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your mom is so black that it can be assumed she is of african descent

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why do black people hate aspirin? Its white, it works, and you have to pick cotton to get to it.

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Larry stopped by today to drop of a package. The package was a bomb. So I gave the "gift" to my neighbor for her birthday. My Mom is my neighbor.

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Q:what has 6 legs and rides a unicycle! A: nothing!!! Duh!

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What did the black kid get for christmas? A wii with duel contollers and a 2 year insurance for it incase it gets robbed or damaged

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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Kittens.

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What did the Jewish man say to the banana? Nothing, because he has common sense

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There once was a man from Madrass Whose balls were made out of brass This was incredibly uncomfortable and embarrassing for him. It also affected his sexual potency and rendered him infertile, Which drastically affected his ability to enter and sustain relationships with women.

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hey! have you seen that clown at Walmart that hides from gay people?

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful busness man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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