Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I t was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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A black man is setting up contingency measures of protection in his personal place of residence when all of a sudden, several warning alarms sound and a few specialized people with red "combating" devices who were alerted by the blatant scenerio unfolding before them were moving quickly in order to match previously stipulated criteria of value. The black man and his family were partaking in a monthly fire drill unfolding in their own house since they were extremely responsible, law-abiding citizens of the city they were located in that required various kinds ofl saftey precautions to be taken so to mitigate the serious chance that people might be hurt by preventable, residential distasters.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the sidewalk he was on does not.

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Q: What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? A: A SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE!

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Q: What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? A: Shoveling them out with a pitchfork.

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A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

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One Big Ass Mistake America

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A Jew walks into a bar...He uses his coupon to get a free drink, then leaves.

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What's gayer than Justin Beiber? The guy getting a blowjob from him! Kelvin Yang.

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Dog is walking through a park and is almost stepped on by a horse. Dog says, "Hey, watch where you're going!" Horse says, "Well, looky here! A talking dog!"

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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se* is like math add the couple minus the clothes add the cream and just hope they dont multiply

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I have no joke. u mad?

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

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What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

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What did Christopher Colombus say to his men before they boarded the boat to sail around the world? Get on the boat.

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Jim: Why did the chicken cross the road? Bill: Why? Jim: To get to the other side! Bill: I don't get it Jim: It's an anti-joke, because you expect a punchline but there is no punchline, you get it? Bill: Hold on, let me tickle myself.......oh okay now I get it hahahahaha!

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(insert command here) Oh yeah, well I want world peace.

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Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Nobody know he couldn't open it.

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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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Knock, knock. Who's there? New Kids on the Block. Wait, who?

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Two gay guys go into a bedroom, in different houses at different times.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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