- Anti Joke

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yo mamma so fat she should probably look into a clinical weight loss program and exercise daily.

Why did the woman hate waiting in line? Two reasons really: almost an entire day had passed since her last intake of non-prescription drugs plus she was generally apprehensive that the witness would identify her.

Knock knock. Who's ther? Your friend Billy i've been shot and need help

How do you drown a blonde? Keep her head under water for 2 minutes because thats when the human brain starts to loose oxygen.

Two muffins are in an oven. It was a really small batch.

Q:: when artificial intelligence takes over the planet, what will become of anti-joke.com? A:: idk, but my cousin's girlfriend and I will get naked together and she will get on top of me and tell me I'm awesome and that my d*ck feels really good inside her. you see by the time AI takes over, the means to create virtual reality experiences will be greatly enhanced.

Why mommy upset cause wet and sticky make mommy upset

a women picks up her phone and screams! There were 3 missed calls from her mother-inlaw

Why doed Dorris suffer from incontinence? A weiner dog punctured her bladder.

whats up with the irish jokes? Honestly im not a alcoholic so all of you can go F*** yourselfs...

The schoolboy said to the bus driver, this is my stop the bus driver replied "no, we have a while to go yet"

How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

BIble verses: (secret bible code breaker edition) 90.01: Might thy level of power rise above the scouter of Vegebles 3.14: Thy shall make use of pee 6:9 Oral interaction is good for thee. 9:6: Peter said, lordeth this is no good, then the lordet said, try 6:9 and all was good. 6.66 Calleth upon this number on thy cell to speak with the beast. 9:11 This number shall aid you when in danger if thy have a cell, but not against the fallen by and Al Caida. 8:00 Call upon thy cellphone at no cost. 5.99 Thy use of plays of station three, areth too expensive... Whoops! Amen and RIIIIIIIIIIDGE RACER! 50:50 Thy shall share equally. 6:19: Thy shall use thy wrestling moves well. 20:00 Thy shall noth uset this windows version as it sucketh.' 88:88 Thy shall create four equal snowmen for me. 12.34 Read this and thy shall learn to count til four. 7:77 The number of the luck. X:B0X: It sucketh hard. 3:60 it sucketh far more than the original 9:99 Is the number to defeateth the beast while he is resting upside down 0:13 "and samuel said, but oh lord, I am a teen now!" And the lord agreed and all was good. Ok, I got to decode my bible further, yes indeed!

roses are red violets are blue i smell meth abkfjbekfhbkfsdshjfbkhb

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had Gonorrhea.

Why is a duck? Because one leg is both the same.

a dog walk into a landmine, he exploded.

how do u get a clown to stop smiling? Hit it with an axe!

How do you become a multi-trilionere? Get bored...

A blonde and a brunette jump off a building, who hits the ground first? The one that jumped first

what is sad about gingers ? they are an unrecognised visible minority.

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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