What did the kid with cancer get for christmas? A puppy, but it was left too long in a wrapped up box without air, it quickly suffocated and ruined the kids chirstmas.

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hey you like pizza? whatever...

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Two guys were Arguing. (A & B) A. You suck B. If i suck then you choke. A. The only way id choke is if i smelled your stank ass breathe. B. The only way id have stank ass breathe is if i was liking your moms vagina A. The only way my mom's pussy would stank is if you were liking it. B. The only way id be liking your moms pussy is if it were a dick.... Both stare at each other... and walk off awkwardly

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What do you call a blue bucket? A blue bucket. What do you call a red bucket? A blue bucket in disguise.

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What do you call a black man with a wooden leg? A veteran.

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Why didn't the man walk up the stairs? He had an acorn stairlift.

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lets go to the beach beach lets go get away story of josh browns life

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Neglegence and irresponsibility of a farmer.

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Where was Andy Beckett WHEN THE LIGHTS WENT OUT? In the dark

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Why did Tupac Shakur get shot? He was a famous and very controversial celebrity, which naturally led to having a lot of enemies.

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Your mama's teeth are so yellow, she decided to invest in a teeth whitening procedure and begin a healthier dental hygiene regimen.

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A cat jumped out of a tree. It died.

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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What's black and blue and red all over? The dead woman in the dumpster.

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Why did Michael Phelps drown? He didn't because he is the best swimmer in olympic history.

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A horse enter a bar, and the barman says: "why the long face?" The horse has cancer

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A duck walks into a bar. He sees Khloe Kardashian sitting on a barstool. The duck runs out of the bar screaming.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he saw some pandas spooning.

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What do you call an Arab man flying a plane? A pilot.

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There's an American, an African, and a Chinese walking down the street. Because the bar is down there.

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What is one similarity between John Samos, and the dreadful clown? they have a red nose and are payed to be funny, aside from John Samos!

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Where did Susie go during the explosion? On her knees to catch it.

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What is white and can fly? A fridge that can't fly.

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Knock knock Whos there? No one, your wife was just in a fatal car accident and died on the scene, so your kids had to walk home from school instead of being picked up. Your son Scotty was grabbed by the sexual predator 4 blocks from the school, and your daughter Sally tried to run and is now under the wheels on the bus going round and round.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops