there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. so why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

So an asian man gets into a car... and drives home on the highway driving at the approximate speed of the designated speed limit while exhibiting safe driving maneuvers. He arrives home to his wife and kids and sits down for a nice dinner while having a engaging conversation about the political future of the United States and his favorite football team.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A banker makes some poor economic investments with other people's money. turns out the people can never get the money back. the banker walks away like nothing happened. the government does nothing to prosecute the man. Somewhere in there his wife leaves him.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Hello penis

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Why wasn't the TV remote working? It was out of batteries.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What happens when you give a math problem to a blonde? She works through it to arrive at the answer.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

how many jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? none their all dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding cancer on your back

thumb_up thumb_down +63

What's green and has wheels? A green car.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock. Who's there *gun shot*

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the eighty year old man climb into a fridge? Because he wanted to.

thumb_up thumb_down +120

Dear Sarah, Your a damn lesbian! Sincerely Adam Claypool

thumb_up thumb_down -8

So, a Vulcan walks into a bar... and he doesn't say anything, because Vulcan's suppress their emotions.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

PENIS

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Timothy started school at an elementary and was in the fourth grade. His teacher was Ms Bradshaw, and he liked his class. One day as he was going into class, Ms Bradshaw asked everybody, "what's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it?" Timothy raised his hand and said "the holocaust." The teacher went to her desk and pulled out a desert eagle and shot Timothy five times in the face and raped his dead body

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock, Knock. Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

this is the part where we na na na na every good song needs a na na na na wake up at night screaming na na na na my grandmothers nickname is nana

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did the prostitute begin to cry when she saw the chinese patron's penis? His testicles are diced onions.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You just glass her.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

how do you make Chuck Norris laugh? tell him an anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the snake say to the rat?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops