Two black guys walk into a country club and ask to play a round of golf. They are turned away because the aren't members of the club.

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? None, let the bitch cook in the dark.

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Why couldn't the little boy skate? He had cancer.

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Why did a black man toss a bowl into the air? Because he just got it from the microwave and it was extremely hot.

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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Q: How do you make three atheists cry? A: Kill their families.

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What happens when Chuck Norris jumps in the air? He lands.

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"Guess what I was doing in my room last night with the door closed with my hand?" "Please don't say what I think you're going to say" "What? I was just cleaning my room."

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He didnt.

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Boo Boo who? Ah don’t be sad, Boo’s here to cheer you up!

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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What does two plus two equal? 4

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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How do you discover a gay snowman? If the carrot is in the ass.

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Dislike if you are a prostitute

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what is worse than falling off a bridge? .. getting pushed off a bridge

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Guess what. I eat weed and smoke yogurt

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Ahhh! Grandpa your going too hard!

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What do you call something that comes out of a llama's butt? poop

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What do you call a man with three testicles? Polyorchid. Look it up.

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Q. Why did the boy throw up on the bus? A. All his friends around him died in the accident

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A mexican fast food worker accidentally drops a cheeseburger on the ground. Realizing the floor is most likely unsanitary, he throws it out and gets the customer a new one.

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I thoroughly dislike arabs, I lost both my parents in the events of 9/11.

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what are you eating under there? oh a sandwich, its actually really good.... want a bite? yea thanks! yum yum

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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