Why does Reid always have a blank stare on his face? Because he is constantly searching for the answer as to why his sister was raped, stabbed, and burned alive all right in front of his face.

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An Irishman walks out of a bar...

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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A jew, a black man, a muslim, an atheist, a christian, a catholic, a roman, a russian, a cuban, an english man, a horse, a cow boy, a gay, a lesbian, a dancer, a teacher, a father, a mayor, a politician and a fish are in a bar. Now that's one crowded bar.

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How do you have sex with an amputee? stick it in the eyes

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Baseball

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What did the homosexual say to the purse walking down the street? - I'm a homosexual.

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What's worse than a needle in a hay stack? A needle in a stack of drug addicts.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. My thumb is red because I accidentally put it in the toaster.

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Q: What do you call a bunch of blondes standing ear to ear? A: A wind tunnel!

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Why do the piglets have their heads down low? Because they are ashamed that their mom is fat.

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What is worse than getting a paper cut? Your whole family dying to MERS in Peru before you were old enough to remember any of them.

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What is the difference between a rose and a grape? They are both purple.

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Roses are red, I have a phone, nobody texts me, forever alone...

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You wanna know the funniest joke ever? Justin bieber

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How many men do you have to have sex with to show that you're gay? But, I'm a woman!

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what do you do when a baby screams? shake it.

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If anybody wants a free RuneScape account, the username is Antbongton and the password is fluckaduck

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What does a chicken get for Christmas? A trip to the processing plant.

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I used to write letters to Black people, then I got an arrow to the knee.

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Why did the blonde walk into the wall? I lied it was nathaniel nugnes

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Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

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Q:How many babies does it take to paint a room? A:It depends how hard you throw them

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Yeah its just my way of saying that I appreciate you worrying so much about me, you are a sweet girl, Honestly I do not understand why the hell you guys are using Horsehead AntiJoke out of all places, there are far more terrible forgettable sites available, I mean this sites connection suddenly went from disgustingly terrible to fine and dandy, the Feds, the Interpol and even fucking Al Qaeda might be reading every single message, but there is no way in hell anyone can decipher the code format, if they could, they would have done it when I invented it sixteen years ago, Myself mind you, nothing subtle about me today apparently.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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