A man walked into a bar. Ow!

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He said it was a great place to retire.

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I like cheese. You like cheese. Have a nice day.

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Tom: So I heard a pretty good Anti-Joke the other day. Jim: Oh, I love those!! What was it? Tom: [says nothing]

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How many chickens did Moses bring to the ark? 2

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did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

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What is the biggest lie that's still close to the truth? You came out of your momma's asshole.

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women's rights.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a turkey, idiot.

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Knock knock Whos there your son your son who holy shit dad just let me in

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What does the gay man do while he is taking a shower with many other men in a prison or a gym? Lathers soap all over his body to clean himself so he is not smelly.

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Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

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I SWEAR TO GOD I'M NOT GAY! But my boyfriend is. Love you, Jeff.

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a horse walks into the bar. the bartender asks why the long face.

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Q: Why was the little girl cowering in a closet in a corner. A: Because there was a murderer/rapist in her house with her oarents gone.

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What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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Why was the panda sad? It's family died when China had an earthquake.

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ask me if im a house are you a house? no

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How do you keep the crime rate down in a black neighborhood? Blow everybody up all at one time.

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Why did the black man shoot the white man? The white man was a prison escapee attempting to perform hate crimes toward African Americans by reforming the KKK. The black man was also schizophrenic.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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25

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How did the fat guy survive the plane crash? Because he still in the food court at the airport.

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Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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