There were two smokestacks, a little one and a big one. One day, the little one said to the big one, "I'm tired of being the lesser of two smokestacks!"

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What's harder than nailing seven dead babies to a tree? My erection while doing it.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police your son died in a car wreck.

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Why did the little boy sit next to the big boy? Because he wanted to get raped by big Jake!

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When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? The penguin who apparently lives next door and somehow developed the ability to successfully interact with other species through gesture and retoric.

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Oracle horacle, you big bloated boracle!

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what is worse than tripping over a tree root? getting mauled by a 60 foot bear

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What hurts more than a bullet? A bullet penetrating your skin, muscle and embedding itself in your body

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Old McDonald had a farm But due to the lack of government subsidies, he was unable to make his mortgage payments, causing the bank to foreclose on his property.

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what's the difference between two pieces of bacon and a blond girl? The blond girl is a human and it's against the law to eat her.

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What has legs but can't walk? A paralyzed man.

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Knock Knock Come in Come in who? Come in...wait what?

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What's green and says I'm a frog? A talking frog

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Terry was always struggling with mathematics. On his last report card he received a D- in math. His parents were naturally very upset with him because they knew their son could do much better and so did Terry. Terry wanted to make his parents proud so he buckled down and started studying on a regular basis. Terry realized his had work had payed off when his 3rd grade teacher handed him his report card. Terry had revived an A in math! On his walk home from school all he could think about was how proud his mom and dad were going to be. On that walk home Terry was savagely torn apart by an escaped lion from the local zoo. His head was never found.

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Vote this down and get DOXED

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What did the apple say to the orange? The apple did not say anything at all because fruits do not possess the ability of speech.

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Roses are orange Violets are grey I love penguins Damn Jews

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Some people devote their life to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

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What has tomato Sauce And came from italy? Pizza

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There was a girl who dumped her diver boyfriend because she couldn’t get him to give her a pearl out of an oyster. This particularly female has rather high expectations for her significant others.

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!

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What's black and white and red all over? A bleeding penguin.

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Your mamma's so fat she has been called morbitally obese

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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