Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are white And Pansies hold hands and skip

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I got shot once it hurt a lot

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Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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There were three brothers. Big, Harry and Dick. They were walking along the road and were all instantly killed by a drunk driver. Their names were never mentioned and their story was used as a promotion for the seriousness of drunk driving and should not be taken lightly.

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Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Evolutionarily destined to be eaten by a predator such as a wolf or coyote, barring haing a defense mechanism that allows it to fend off such attacks.

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What is the name of the car? What

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What has four legs in the morning, three at noon, and two in the evening? A baby with leprosy.

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The U.S. economy is in poor condition and it's downfall would have repercussions throughout the entire world.

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2 scrubbers walk into a room , one says " can you you smell fresh-air spray"?

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My dog got out of its cage So I found it and beat the shit out of my neighbors kid.

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A boy asked his dad Why are Chinese eyes like that. His dad replied there concentrating that's why there so smart The boy went up to a student in his class and said look I'm like you The teacher asked who told him that he said his dad The dad was called up by the school when the teacher told him what his son did he went GOOZILLA His wife asked him what he was up to and he said farting on her face when she was a sleep 3 days later he found out his wife was cheating on him he knocked on the door only to realize he was on drugs and that he never had a family.

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What do you call a white duck? A quacker

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What do the Chinese call ping pong? Ping pong.

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What happend to the Jew when he was near the fire place He very carefully tended to it

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Your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you're just a figment of my imagination.\

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How many moose does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, it is biologically and theoretically impossible for a moose to climb a ladder and screw in a light bulb.

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What did the man say when he found out he had cancer? Nothing. He was so in shock, that he later died from another type of cancer.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU..

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How many worms dose it take to eat an apple? One.

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kid: dad! a kid called me gay today! dad: son, im 100% ok with u hurting that kid! kid: i cant! hes too cute.

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A ghost walks into a bar. Nobody sees it because it is a supernatural entity.

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why do black people like watermellon? becasue it is a delicious red fruit at a wonderful price

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Knock, knock. Door opened.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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