Curiosity killed the cat, Oh wait, I thought the dog did.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

That awkward when you adimaticlly read "moment in your head because you have seen too many of these awkward moment jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: What's the difference between a basket of tennis balls and a basket of dead baby heads? A: One is used for the sport of tennis the other is a basket of tennis balls!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock? Who's There? Sgt Constable Ian. Sgt Constable Ian Who? It's Sgt Constable Ian - I'm here to see you about your alleged rape charges.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how do you confuse a brunette? tell a joke about how there are no beaches in florida

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down -21

God

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Person 1: Can I write a good anti-joke? Person 2: No. Person 1: Why nut? Person 2: All the gud onez r taken. ;-; tru...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did a hipster walks into a health food store? To buy some healthy food.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why did the irishman, the englishman and the african man die? because i went on a violent killing spree, murdering everyone i saw

thumb_up thumb_down -10

That`s my friends phone, I can call you from mine too if you want, please just don't hurt me, let me speak to you, I promise I will explain everything.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the fat man with scissors do? Cut off the foreskin of your penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: Why was Sally sad? A: Because she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock, Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock whose there? child abuse...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Cadillac? A Cadillac is a car, and a dead baby is a morose and disgusting topic of internet humor.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A boy in Bible class was poking a girl in front of him with a pencil. Atfer, maybe ten minutes of this, she was asked "Sarah, what did Eve say to Adam after they had had twenty-seven children" The boy poked her with the pencil again. She stood up, and said "I think we have enough kids Adam."

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up on its own? The kickstand was broken and the child whom of which owned the bicycle no longer had the need for training wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did Kelliintheraw get punched in the face? Because she is a dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +16

they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A guy walks into a bar and hears a someone crying. He asks the bartender who is crying and the bartender says "It's my goat. He's been crying since Tuesday, I'm giving a $500 reward to whoever can make him stop." So the man walks to the back and whispers something to the goat's ear and suddenly the goat starts laughing. The bartender was so amazed at what happened and says "Wow, thank you kind sir! Here's your reward money." and the man takes the money and leaves. The next day the man returns to the bar and the bartender says "Hey, ever since you made my goat laugh he hasn't stopped. He's been driving me nuts. I'll give you another $500 to make him stop." So again, the man goes to the back of the bar and whispers to the the goats ear. Suddenly, the goat start crying again. The bartender can't believe it. He asks "How in the world did you do that? What did you say to my goat?" The man says "Well the first time I saw your goat I told him a joke." "Okay, that explains why he kept laughing..." the bartender asks "Now, what did you say to make him cry?" The man replies "I told him..." Suddenly the goat escapes and goes completely crazy and kills everybody in the bar with his horns. Till this day no one knows what the man said to the goat.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Yo mama is so stupid, she has a sub-par intelligence quota.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops