knock knock. who's there? no one. no one who? no one who?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What rhymes with ten? Rape..... What rhymes with boat? Float.....

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what can you blow up and sleep with at night? An air mattress

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: pete and re-pete were on a boat, pete fell off. who was left? A: i dont know, but why did pete fall off in the first place, that dumb ass

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Yo mama so fat......Hiroshima.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a woman in a kitchen ? There rightful place.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Yo mama so fat, her whole family is encouraging her to exercise and go on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, it seem's that someone has been bathroom on my lawn. "Martha, I'm not cleaning this up"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the blade of grass say to the other blade of grass? Nothing, as grass does not have the capability of speaking and does not have a brain, all it has is a complex life system where it feeds off water. If it were to say anything though, it would say, "Hey! We're both blades of grass!"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between a dead cat and a dead woman? It is much more unlikely that you would have sex with a dead cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man named Hank, from Idaho takes a trip to Michigan. When he arrives, he rents a house and starts a meth lab. Hank is spending 7 years in jail. Hank was charged with stealing.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

so a blind man walks into a bar, then a chair, then a table.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

If life hands you melons, you might be dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you get Doctor Phil in a bikini? Give him a little alcohol to ease inhibitions and offer him a suitable bribe.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7? A: He wasn't, it turns out 7 was afraid of 6 because 6 beat 7 up in high school

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Is your daddy a thief? Because he stole my wallet.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Once upon a time, The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What would happen if the whole world farted at once?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the homosexual community have last night? A protest for gay rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man walks into a bar. He has a nice drink and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did Steve say when his leg got chopped off? Nothing, he went into a state of shock before blacking out due to loss of blood. Later on, he died, and a week later, a funeral was held, in which nobody showed up, because nobody cared for Steve.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw 'em.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock Knock! Who's there? Santa isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops