One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

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Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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Knock knock I don't play games, go away! Knock knock How did you get in my house? Knock knock Stay back I have a weapon! Knock knock What are you!!! Knock knock Oh god, someone please help! Knock knock What do you want, I can give you money. Knock knock Just don't hurt my family, please. Knock knock!!! WHO'S THERE!!! I am.

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how does cody get laid? he doesnt.

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Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They beat her.

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How many Bedouins do you need to change a light bulb? 2, one is changing the bulb and the second is powering the generator.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let the chickens out?!

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What's big, green, has 4 legs, and if it falls out of a tree will kill you? A pool table

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like pancakes Ouch! That hurt!

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how do you kill a blond? there are many ways but every one of them is illegal and could be criminally chargeable.

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What did pikachu say when his trainer was murdered? Pikachu.

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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KANE AUDITIONS FOR BRITAINS GOT TALENT SIMON COWEL REAPES HIM

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

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A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

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Girl look at that body, girl look at that body, I got passion in my pants... Actually I lied, I got a penis and testicles in my pants, but I'm afraid to show it because people might think it's small, sorry

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Why did the lorry cross the road? It was swerving to avoid a small child. Unfortunately the driver's reactions were too slow and he hit the kid. After a week fighting for their life in hospital the child fibaly died. There wasn't a scratch on the lorry though.

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The man says to the doctor "Sir, I have contracted a terrible headache." The doctor replies back, "Yes you do."

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Doctor, doctor, I think I've got a problem! Correct, you have got acute cancer, you have 2 months to live.

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Does Fall come before winter? There is no defiant answer due to the fact that all seasons are in a cycle and our race has no answer to which season happened first on Earth.

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Why did Suzy drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Suzy!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops