What did Hitler say to the Nazis? I have a mustache.

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A man dreamt that he was eating a marshmallow. He ate his dog.

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You come across a blonde, a brunette, and a red head. Why are you telling a joke? Go make sex.

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I like the way he thinks. Too bad he has alzheimers.

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Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? The pilot and three passengers died.

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Q: What did the Big Bad Wolf say to Little Red Riding Hood? A: Nothing, wolfs are mentally nor physically capable of talking

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Q: What do you call a bathtub? A: A bathtub

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Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? *Pulls out finger gun* *Screams BOOM!*

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how does an elephant ask for a bun? may i please have a bun?

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "My son was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

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Debating on internet is like competing in the paralympics, even if you win you're still retarded

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Q: A black person and a white person decided to have a race, who won? A: The black person, as he exercised and worked out on a regular basis, making him very fast.

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What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

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What do you call a guy with no arms? Names.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What a wonderfuuuul wooorld: Would this not be a wonderful world if we instead of killing innocent children, just gRaped them hard and painfully in every damn hole and let them go home? Ad: Consider the life of the poor children, Just 0rape them hard!... For love! Awww... Moral: What moral You see any moral here? XD No Not Nerometal, I am that "leader of the Neronist... whatever" Yes, that is who I am. Real moral: "Seriously who is gonna listen to some kid who is just (severely) butthurt anyway huh? Cut their tongues off! Just do not kill them... For a wonderful world..." <3 (Not a heart lol)

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What did the fork say to the spoon? I have tongs and you don't. Ha.

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What do you get when you cross a computer with a whore? A:porn

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a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse replies "my wife died yesterday." the next day the bartender wakes up and realises that it didn't happen and that he is a drunk asshole with no life.

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Tunechi

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? You don't, Pikachu is a fictional character therefore doesn't exist

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knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

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A young woman goes to a wild, infamous nightclub, all alone. She arrives safely at home a few hours later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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