My wife has terminal cancer.

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What do you call a penis without hair? Apple sause

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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Why does Brianne cry? Because she has no family.

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Whats the difference between a Bicycle and a duck? They Both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter anyway because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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What did the sea say to the sand? Nothing, he just waved.

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What do Justin Bieber and Eminem have in common? They both need to get a life. I lied about Eminem.

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have 2 weeks to live.

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make me a sandwich!

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Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Teenage pregnancy.

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked

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Q: How do you drown a black guy? A: Hold his head underwater and sit on his back.

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What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? -slavery

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How do you get santa to stop delivering presents? Kill your parents.

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

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What's worse than having a bad hair day? Vietnam.

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Why do you do when a homeless man asks you for money Scream bicycle and then run

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What do Michael Jordan and LeBron James have in common? They both have won NBA championships...except for Lebron.

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In Soviet Russia... People were burned alive for refusing communism.

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why is it good to be a fireman? because they save lives

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes And now so do you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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