A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER." The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it. "I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

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Yo mumma so poor that she dosent have any money

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Knock knock. Who's there? The landlord. You're being evicted.

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What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? My d**k.

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Why was the trucker making noises? It was having sex with someone

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Whats worse than hard cheese?Cheese DUH

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Come in

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Whats worse than finding half of a worm in your apple? Noticing the apple is oversized and finding half of a dead baby.

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what is the difference between jelly and jam? jelly is smoother where jam has chunks of fruit in it...... and i cant jelly my penis down your throat

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Why did andy fall down Because his friend pushed him over

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Chuck Norris can bench 210 pounds.

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If god gives you lemons You find a new god.

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one day i went on a swing, somone pushed me and i fell broke my leg,cracked three ribs, cut my lip, fractured my toe and died of internal bleeding to my brain.

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What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

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Why is Keven's name spelled with an E Because his parents are black.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, your mother is a whore

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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How many vampires does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Vampires do not exist

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[Insert anti-joke here]

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why couldn't the old man play basketball? he lacked the physical dexterity, had asthma, and had no arms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was disowned by his family due to his drug addiction and had nowhere else to go.

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There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because her dad through a fridge at her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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