So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

What do you call a woman who is good at driving? Danica Patrick

Wanna here somethin funny? Nope.avi

How do you make $10,000 in 1 day? I don't know, but I wish I did.

why did dinosaurs die??? because a giant rock blew them up

what's worse, ten babies stapled to a tree or one baby stapled to ten trees?

what goes boo a sock

I walked into an elevator with Ray Rice...

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

A black man walks into a store with a ski mask on... what does he do?? he buys skiis.

what looks like a bug, lives in larch mount and lives in a mansion? Aodhan Hearty, lied about the mansion... he lives in a web with his buggy family

I wish you were never born. Me too. Then I wouldn't have been raped today.

what do u call something black and hanging from a tree.............................. a black guy

What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

What's brown and sticky? Fecal matter.

How do you know if someone is vegan? They'll tell you.

What did the gay man see when he looked out the window? A UPS truck that was shipping a monkey

Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Therefore no one knew why his name was Fuzzy Wuzzy.

whats the difference between santa claus and jewish people santa claus goes down the chimney and jewish people go up

Miley Cyrus Walked into a fence and fainted.

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? (Because she was blind and deaf?) No, because she was a woman.

What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why did no one help him up? Because nobody liked him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...