Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do Whitney Houston and MTV have in common? They both REALLY died in the 90's.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whats worse than a dead baby? 6 million dead Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

IF circles are squares and squares are purple and i dont know what im talking about does that make all potatoes orange?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Holy mother moley! Britain just brexited! Now there's no more Britain. Britain is all gone.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

If Chuck Norris has $5, and you have $5, Chuck Norris still has more money than you.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Moral: Sure, your number is the one that ends with 853 right? Do not reply if I am right. Moral2: BECAUSE TOP COMMENT... AND SERIOUSLY, THAT NUMBER BETTER END WITH 69 AFTER I CALL YOU! DO NOT REPLY

thumb_up thumb_down -19

knock, knock! No answer, they probably can't hear you, use the doorbell.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A horse walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything or say anything because it is a horse. It proceeds to walk around and knock over a few tables before finding the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is the easiest method of making multiple women fall head over heels? Have a wingman help you raise a rope at the start of a women's running race.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How did the little boy survive war? He respawned at his teams side of the map

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did my dad say when i knocked over the christmas tree? nothing, my father is dead

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the anti-social man say to a girl Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -27

why did the golfer ware two ares of paents. if he got a hole in one

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did the man with cancer say to the Holocaust survivor? "I have cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the best part of twenty one year old's? Their bodies have matured enough that the U.S. government deems it safe for them to consume alcoholic beverages with proper I.D.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a bar, muttering to himself. People stare at him because his severe Schizophrenia makes him stand out in social situations.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

2 sausages were in a frying pan. 1 sausage says it sure is hot in here, the other sausage says WTF a talking sausage!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the elephant say to the zebra? Nothing, elephants can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A squirrel runs into a bar and out-runs the bartender to get some assorted nuts on the table then runs out of the bar

thumb_up thumb_down -1

"Sticks and stones" the man said and shat on three different complex turtles

thumb_up thumb_down +7

This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops