A horse dies and goes to heaven. He wonders why there aren't any atheists around.

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What was Jonas's big success? Being Steven Spielbergs lead actor in his famous 1982 film.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, Mitchell ate it before it could do so.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind and is a women, who are notoriously bad drivers.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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What do you call a black guy that has a big white coat, an assortment of knives and a couple of women working for him? A doctor

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Did you hear that Hellen Keller went driving? Now she's also paralyzed.

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Pull my finger ouch..

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How did the man jumping out of the plane at 33,000 feet survive? Because he had a parachute

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They see me rolling' Up my sleeves for some volunteer work at the local shelter

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A woman comes home and finds her husband with another woman. Their marriage collapses and the husband goes on to marry the other woman and his ex-wife commits suicide.

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Your Momma is so old, she started exercising more and eating healthier to increase the chance of her living long enough to enjoy your own children's lives.

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Hey connor and brett its ben, you are both at my house

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Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more likely you are to realize that beans aren't actually fruit. They're legumes.

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What's better than winning a medal in the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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A: how do u wake up lady gaga? B: you poke her face

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Why did the man not come out of the closet? He wanted to stay in narnia.

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A shocking example of the cruelty suffered by animals at hands of humanity.

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Why did the Koala Fall out of the tree, It was Dead

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how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

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A guy walks into a bar, has a few drinks with his mates and gets highly intoxicated.

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a gay man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out for trying to seduce men.

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How many blondes does it take to dye their own hair black and act in an intelligent, sensible manner?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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