A man walks into a bar. Now I have to kill you, because that's top secret information.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

whats the same about a red crayon and a blue crayon? there both the same color except for the blue one

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Do you have to make frequent trips to the bathroom? Do you have a weak or broken stream? Do you leave the bathroom feeling satisfied? Do your frequent trips to the bathroom interrupt everyday activities? Well you should take Lunesta and just sleep. Then you wouldn't have this problem.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

"Hey, did you hear that the Dungbeetles got a divorce? They live in California so she got half his shit."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A fat man walks into McDonald's and was then seen leaving 8 hours later as he finished his shift.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A man walks into bar and orders a drink. The bartender says " Hey I saw a bunch of men coming in and out of your house while you were on vacation last week." The man replied " I know. That's because my wife is a prostitute."

thumb_up thumb_down -33

XD I TOTALLY CANT BELIEVE I FELL FOR THAT ONE! XD IT WAS LIKE SO OBVIOUS! XD

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you get when you cross an intersection? Possibly a lower leg contussion, ACL tear, breaks in 4 different sections of your arm and lots of brain swelling if you are hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what do you get with a bulldog and a shi-tzhu 2 dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats worse that a rhino hitting you in the face? A rhino with horns hitting you in the face

thumb_up thumb_down +20

josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A Mexican, A Jew and a Irishman walk into a grocery store...The Mexican buys some bread, the Jew buys some bread... and the Irishman buys some bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He had no guts

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the cow jump over the moon? He cant jump over the moon due to low gravity

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How can you tell if a duck is quaking? Hear it

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why did the dog chase it's tail? it has a case of OCD where he was obsessed with catching his tail and would spin until he passed out or threw up.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was the baby crying? He saw a black guy

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What is my cats favorite college? Harvard

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Are u that bald or is your neck blowing bubbles.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? Three bee stings. Whats worse than three bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Four bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops