Q Why is an octopus like a tree? A Haven't the foggiest.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did a duck cross the street? It didn't. It was hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Theres this guy that got pulled over and the guy in the car said: I have AIDS the cop said: Oh, really when did you get them? I don't have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -44

What's red, white and blue? You're mother on her period after she had sex. I don't know where the blue came from.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What's worse than a worm in you're apple... A: The fact that you have all-timers and can't remember...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats big, purple and hairy. Has 4 eyes and 2 brains? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a black man in an expensive car? A licensed driver.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What do you call a plane in shining armor? A knight flight.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

thumb_up thumb_down +44

make me a sandwich!

thumb_up thumb_down -68

How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the black man walk into KFC? He was terribly hungry and had a reasonable amount of currency with him to purchase food for his well being.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Roses are red Violets are Blue Let's just screw

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what kind of person would you call dumb the ones who read anti jokes

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I saw a man with a hungry look in his eye, like the kind you get from not eating for a while

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the asian die? he was driving

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why did the girl fall out of the tree? Because she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -17

One day little billy was wandering happily through the forest.He then trips and his legs disintegrate

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Double-whammy

thumb_up thumb_down +28

One time i ate a hamberger than an hour later i sneezed but i dont think it had anything to do with the hamberger.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why was the little boy reluctant to approach his father? Because his father was a rotting corpse.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: what did the common cold say to the cough? A: you are SO annoying!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Pop Fiction last words. guess who edition: "Okay okay you win again Batman! Ahahaha hohohoho hehehehe! Wanna hear a new jo... Eh... what are you doing with that gun?" "Why did I not just take a step or two to the side during the five hours and over thirty episodes he kept charging that Kamehameha?" "Bah I cannot die as long as my ego is full! Are these really the ratings on my latest game? H0moerotic? Childish? A sociopath? Oh man..." Moral: Your red thumbs cannot hurt me! Im the moralmanBitch! HOAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops