What did the apple tree say to the farmer? "Stop picking on me"

A Muslim walked into a bar. He didn't drink anything

How do you keep an extraordinary magician from performing his show? Replace his shampoo with battery acid

What do you call a black pilot? a pilot you racist bastard...

In 2030, what will most people be doing for a living? Using food stamps.

How many Mexicans does it take to cross the border? Don't answer, just think and laugh.

What did Hitler say when he was dying? He said, "I'm dying."

What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

ok when a fat person say he on a diet i said your on a sea food diet what evert you see you eat now get back to school John f kennedy students

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Cripling social anxiety.

Why cant Helen Keller driver? She's a woman

How do you kill a blonde? You stab her many times in the ear with a fork......Then finsih her off with a spoon. No knives those hurts

i tell you whats funny......... what? a fat sudanese man

There's a fine line between hyphenated words

So a man enters a local paper's pun contest. He enters ten puns in hopes that one of them would win. But unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

what did the one girl say to the other girl? i like your shoes.

Why did the person name her OC telephone? I have no idea, please let me know why.

a penguin biked to a bakery he walked in and asked for buns the baker said how many 12 or 13 the penguin said it don't matter I brought my bike

Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Lunch.

Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colourblind.

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

A man comes to a fork in the road. He then looks around then proceeds to pick it up, puts it in his pocket, then continues walking down the road as if nothing had happened.

Why did Lucy have blond hair? Answer: Because both her parents had recessive hair traits.

Why did the little kid color outside the lines? He had Parkinson's Disease.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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