Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police, mam. We need to speak to you about your son Robert. It's the police, mam. We need to speak to you about your son Robert who? Mam, he was in an accident. Could you open the door please?

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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Garry Glitters on here

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Steve Mullings isn't on drugs

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Q: What is better than Vagina? A: Nothing

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A man entered ten puns into a pun contest, hoping that one of them would win. Unfortunately, he came in third place and was discouraged by his loss.

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So what makes you that much adaptable? I get the feeling I should get this by now.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What did the orange elephant with 6 legs say? Kill me.

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Roses are red Violets are red Oh sh*t the gardens on fire

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That's as _____ as a ______ guy. Works with anything, and people do laugh.

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Math mean: mental, abuse, to, human

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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My cake is yummy, It's icing is blue. It will always be mine, Come close and I'll punch you. So stay away from it And you will be safe, But if you dont listen, Prepare ice for your face!

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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How many plumbers does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Plumbers don't do that. Electricians do.

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Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Elton John? They're both gay.

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Q: What happens when two feminists try to chanbe a lightbulb? A: That's not funny.

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I can't see my forehead

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two guys r talking and the one said *i swear to god* and the other one said *u swear what to god what the hell r u talking about i dont even know u*

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One day there was a princess born in the jungle. The story goes, that she'd be saved by a grand champion - a Hero. So the day came that she fell in love. After a few magical years, they broke up and she realized that fairy tales are for little girls.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to the gay guys house. Knock Knock! Who's there? The chicken.

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I had a terrible childhood. My mom abandoned me before I was born.

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A man and a chicken walk into a bar... I forgot the rest of the joke .... YOUR MUMS A WHORE

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops