Q. Why was little Timmy crying? A. Because his sister died of cancer.

yo mama is so ugly she walked by a mirror and looked at her reflection cuz thats what mirrors do

What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One you can smash with a hammer and the other is just a watermelon.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like ass, And no one loves you!

what happens when a jew meets a black person answer: they greet one another

One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

Why did the Black man cross the road? To get to Pop-Eye's since KFC is too expensive nowadays. HELL-YA

Q. why did the blonde stare at the orange juice carton? A. it said concentrate.

Tiger Woods isn't a Tiger, He's a lion cheeta.

Did you know that if you rearrange the letter in "Gill Lube", you can spell "Gullible"?

babe whos moaning? are you with another woman? guy:god damn if you would stay in the kitchen we would never have any problems.

The frightened girl did everything the man said. " Open your legs. Bend over..." She was playing Simon says and was afraid to loose. It wasn't rape, which her sister had experienced while traveling in 2007.

"I love you, you love me" And you didn't just read that; you sang it.

What happens when you catch a cold? You sneeze whenever you stand up.

What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing. Cats can't talk.

What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you? Run.

Let's go burn down an orphanage, what are they gonna do tell their parents?

Why did the President Truman approve the use a nuke over Hiroshima? Sending Chuck Norris was widely considered to be too cruel.

Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? A: Get in the car.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt, it got stuck at a red light, it waited 5 minutes before getting frustrated and leaving. Later that day the chicken realized that it had forgotten to press the button.

how did the chicken cross the road. it didnt.

A man walks up to another man and asks what time it is. He then replies " It's 2:00" The man then pulls out a sandwich and eats it

I slipped and fell in the shower today. Good thing my dad caught me

A man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. The bartender says ok, then hands him a pistol, then the man shoots the bartender and kills him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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