why did the two girls fight? Because they were mad at eachother.

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Why was Mrs. Clause mad at Santa Clause? Because he was hanging out with three hoes, Ho, Ho, and Ho

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meh

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What do you call a larger individual having intense sex with a smaller individual? Rape.

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3 ducks are sitting in a pond. one with blonde feathers. one with brown feathers, and one with white feathers. A Transvestite Inbred Donkey Man kills them instantly.

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knock knock. I have a doorbell, you don't have to knock.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog. Instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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There was this girl who suffered for her whole life and then she died. It was very liberating.

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What did little Timmy find at the bottom of the well? The fact that he could no longer breathe and thus causing him to drown.

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Q. What do you call a deceased rodent A. Deadmau5

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Whats white and all over my room? paint

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Knock, Knock!! Who's there?! The Police!! Open the f*cking door and get down on your knees.

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What did the crazy asian man say just before he died? He didn't say anything- he was in an 18 month long coma due to a brain stem stroke. He left behind a wife, a 3 year old daughter and a newborn son.

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Once upon a time, there were two brothers jumping on a bed. Q: The one stopped. Why? A: His brother fell off, cracked his head, started uncontrollably bleeding and died.

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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one day a guy walks into a bar. he buy's a drink then walks hapily home by Mad James

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whats green andthrows forks at you? a blonde painted green in a bush wih a gun and a fly on her eye

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Why was the black man escorted out of the bar. He was 10

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How much is an abortion? A life

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Why wasn't the boy at his basketball game? - Because he, his twin brother, and pregnant mother all died in a fatal car accident involving a train on the way their.

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How do you get a blonde to eat crayons? Threaten to kill her parents with a hacksaw.

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Why'd the man go to jail? Because he had a piece of cheese.

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage..

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What is ET short for? Extra terrestrial

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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