Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Replacement Referees

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Two fish in a tank one said "How do you drive this thing?"

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Two muffins were in an oven. Neither of them said anything because they are inanimate objects. After they were finished baking, they were pulled out and set to cool on a counter to be eaten at a later time.

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Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

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-Knock, knock. -Is it the pizza man? -No. -Then go away.

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What happend to the murderer who ate people? He was sent to jail for a number of years and now is having work done to stop him from eating people

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Why did the Mexican stop mowing the family's lawn? Because he felt it was time for his son to learn some responsibility.

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous and could cause much harm if handled without prior knowledge of how to use them.

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what's blue and looks like a shirt? a blue shirt

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If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Ice cream doesn't have bones!

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Why was the horse sad? Because it seen a Tesco van in the distance.

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What did the general say before the soldiers got in the tank? Get in the tank

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What do Connecticut school kids get at Christmas? Shot.

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Why was the little boy afraid of Mr.Clean? Because he reminded him of his father who was an alcoholic and used to beat him savagely.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like saying the colors of flowers... how about you.

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Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

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What's 1+1 2, dumbass...

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This is amazing! Visit http://psncodesonlinefree.com - you receive free PSN Card Codes instantly! Everybody uses this now!

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What do you call a black man repairing a car? A mechanic who has worked very hard to gain his qualifiaction.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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What did the cookie monster eat? Food

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knock knock. who's there? no one. no one who? no one who?

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What did the wall say to the other wall? I didn't say anything because it isn't living and it can't talk because it is impossible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops