Why did the homeless man kill his dog? Because a drunk rich guy said he'd pay him a hundred dollars if he did.

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Chantelle, I loved you, but you cheated with Johnathan from Church...

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hey i just met you and this is crazy i just had bath salts your face looks tasty!

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Hey, what’s your problem? I’m a Catholic whore currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black, Jewish boyfriend who works in a military abortion clinic. So, hail Satan, and have a lovely afternoon, madam. a.w. j.p.

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Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

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What do Elephants never forget? 9/11

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An Ethiopian fell into an alligator infested river. He ate 7 of them before he got out.

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How do you make a chicken fly? Throw it

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Steering Wheel Face.

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How do you kill a blonde? Repeatedly stab a knife into her jugular vein

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How long does it take to paint a house with babies? It matters how hard you throw them.

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What did the alcoholic do when he finished his beer? Opened another one.

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Why did the little girl fail her test? She had mental retardation.

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An elephant walks into a bar. Except not really, it couldn't fit through the door.

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A Jew buys something that is not on sale

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A man walks into a bar. End of story.

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My dad weights 350 lbs. He decided to switch to diet soda.

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there where 3 guys at a magic pool. if you jump in and say anything it appears in the pool. the first guy runs, jumps and says money!! he gets a bunch of money. the second guy runs, jumps and says gold!! he gets a bunch of gold. the third guy runs, slips says SHIT!!!! and lands in the pool.

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Why doesn't Gary like me? Because I killed his family and fed them to him.

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Yes, finally caught that mouse!

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knock knock whos there? a rapiest get in my van. ok, let me just get my purse

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a man walks into a bar and dies

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-How do you befriend Tom Hanks? -Kidnap his son

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When life gives you melons, your probably dyslexic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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