This is on of those few moments where my guts and attitude leave me feeling as if the entire world is against me... ...Then I cant help but to smirk and think... The world against me? Finally a worthy challenge... Such a great day... Nero because fuck morals: Friends and not so friends do not call me Black Metal because I listen to power rock, my mother high on drugs attacked my wife claiming she was Satan, I killed my angel dust empowered mother, felt as if the world was against me... ...Such a great day... "I killed my father too but you dont hear me whining about it!" And of course... ...Rest in pieces oh "dear" mother", at least you did one good thing, you gave birth to your undertaker, while I killed you to end my lifelong misery, My only regret is ending yours... Now I request you all think I am a monster and pretend we live in a world where all parents are nice and good... You already deluded yourself? Perhaps you should thumb me up instead then.

A Jew with a boner runs into a wall, what hits first? His nose

All of the people in the burning building escaped except for one what was wrong with that one person? He was a blind, could not hear and was in a wheelchair.

I love bacon therefor I love people who eat bacon execpt people who eat my bacon then I hate people who eat bacon

Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't a Ferrari in my garage

Roses are red Violets go poo My name is Dave How bout u

What did the nurse say to the doctor? Boo-hoo, i was pranked over the phone, i'm gonna kill myself now.

Why did the chicken go down the road? He was in a KFC truck and was headed to his death...

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

If your dying how would you avoid getting eaten alive by sharks or rip to shreds by a T-Rex? Fall on a sword

Why did god make women? Because women are equally important when it comes to the birth to maintain or species.

Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

Why do nascar drivers wreck Jeff gordon's bad racing Stupidity And kyle buschs great wrecking ability

What did it say in the end of the book? The End.

Why did the coconut fall out of the tree? Gravity.

Guess what my nephew said yesterday? oh wait, i forgot hes dead..

I took your mother out for a classy steak dinner. I decided not to call her agian because we weren't very compatible and the conversation was very superficial.

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Why the long face?" The bartender backhands the man making him fall off of his stool.

So 2 guys are curious if there is baseball I heaven... So they say when either of them dies they have to come back as a spirit and tell the other man if there is baseball in heaven One of the guys dies and comes back as a spirit... He comes to the other man and says... I've got some good news and some bad news The man says what's the the good news? The spirit says the good news is there is baseball in heaven So the man says what's the bad news?? The spirit says... Your pitching Tuesday night!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

Did you hear about the Polish submarine? It was one of five in the Polish Navy.

What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

-How do fit an elefant in a refrigerator? Open the door and shove it in -How do u fit a giraffe in a refrigerator? Take the elephant out and put the giraffe in -If the king of the jungle has a meating which animal doesn't come? The giraffe because hes in the refrigerator -How do u cross a lake where aligators and snakes live? U swimm because they're at the meeting

You know what's catchy? A cold

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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