Excuse me waiter! What the hell is this fly doing on my soup? I believe it's swimming on it, sir.

When life gives you Corn Nuts, snack on them while watching your favorite TV show. Then go to sleep early and have a nice, peaceful rest, dreaming about the fun things you'll do tomorrow.

why wasnt johnny in math class?....he slipped and cracked his skull on his way there, he is now recovering at the hospital

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: That depends how hard you throw them... Q: Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees...

Gays always seem happy wonder why Straights complain to much

how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

A Muslim walked into a bar....nothing happened

Q:How can you tell an asian has just robbed your home? A: You took the necessary precautions to purchase a very high quality security system and you caught the whole thing on tape, and the man was arrested.

Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

So there we were, climbing Mount Kjerag and we take a break. So I decided to tell you a joke. "Isn't this nice, just hanging around? See it's funny because we're suspended over 1000 metres in the air by our harnesses, except that you're not because I cut yours and now you're falling and you're gonna die." But I had done all that before I told you the joke so you didn't hear me and now I'll have to cut my harness and try to catch up to you so I can repeat myself. Great job, ya prick.

How do you jump off a bridge? You jump

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Why didn't the black kid get anything for Christmas? His family was Jewish.

so 3 guys are a plane George W. Bush, a mexican, and a chinese man. the plane is going down because of too much weight they haave to throw things out. The mexcan throws out a suitcase full of tacos and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then the chinese throws out a suitcase full of rice and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then George W. Bush pushes the mexican out and says "we have to enough of these in out country."

why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

What's big white and can't fly? -Half of America Whats big brown and can't fly? -Crap

women's rights

9/11

Why did the duck cross the road? Hurricane Katrina

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

What did the man do when he was tired Nothing he went to bed

Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you are just a figment of my imagination.

why did the chicken cross the road? cause kade touches himself at night

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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