If John had 4 apples and gave 2 to Mary, what is the circumference of the sun?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the father beat his daughter? To alleviate stress.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why do jews have such big noses? A: it has been inherited through many generations

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Roses are red, violets are blue, shit is brown and so are you

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you get when you cross a black man and a mule. Arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Wanna hear a funny joke? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Come on children, don't dawdle.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

If Bob has 65 sweets and he eats 57 how many does he have? Bob has diabetes. He has high blood sugar, either because the body does not produce enough insulin, or because cells do not respond to the insulin that is produced.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Commercials lie: I think that they do believe it's not butter!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Three guys walk into a bar.....The fourth one ducks...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the girl talking to the trashcan? Her entire family was killed in a forest fire. She was the only who made it out but she had several scars and burns. For six years she had no family to talk to. She then gathered an obnoxious amount of cheaply made plastic trashcans and painted her entire family on the trashcan and proceeded to talk to it. For several years now she has been in deep conversation with the trashcan. She then attempted to ask the trashcan a series and intense question in which the trashcan did not respond to. The girl grew very frustrated with the trashcan because it did not answer her question so she angrily threw it off the side of a cliff in the middle of the woods. To answer the question above, as the trashcan was violently falling off the cliff, the girl yelled, "See you next FALL"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I hate it when sentences don't end the way you expect them potato.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Two penguins are in a bathtub, one penguin asks the other "can you pass the soap?" the other penguin says "what do I look like? A toaster?"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

do you like hardcore music? ya i love brokencyde

thumb_up thumb_down -24

the danced cus they were young, they danced cus they were free, but mostly the danced cus they needed to pee

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did John fall off his bike? Because, he is a fish and fish cannot ride bikes.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the boy miss a day off school? He was in a coma

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why'd the chicken cross the road? After losing its family, the chicken had became an adrenaline junkie and enjoyed the rush of doing such dangerous things. It subsequently became addicted to opium.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why do women live longer? Because they work weaker.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her an anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Yo mama so fat she has to wear large clothes

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why can't T-rex give hih fives, Because they're dead...

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops