I like my women how I like my salad. Without a penis.

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Why did Hellen Keller get hit by a car? She didn't see it coming. (TD)

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because he didn't have arms.

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Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

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What is bad about being black and Jewish? Your gonna have to sit in the back of the oven

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mikey is cute

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What happens when a girl falls? Another girl pees her pants

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What's big, grey and can't climb a tree? A parking lot

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for his birthday? Broken arms and legs

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why are there no casinos in Africa? Because of the exceptionally high poverty rate.

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There are two cows in a field. One cow says to the other - 'Are you afraid of the mad cow disease?' The other cow says - 'No, cuz I'm a duck.'

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Jim came home from work. only to find out his family had been murdered

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why didn't bob die? because he liked his hair just the way it was.

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What did the badger say to the mushroom? BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER MUSHROOM MUSHROOM! BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER ARGH SNAKE! IT'S A SNAKE...

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How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? None they're dead

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Please don't tell anybody about me, or I will be hunted down, taken from my family, and be objected to a life of cruel exploitation.

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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Why did the bus crash? What, you were expecting an answer? I was asking you

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Why did billy fall down the stairs? He got pushed.

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who else is on here?

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How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's an obscure number you've probably never heard of.

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This will be the least popular anti-joke. Dislike this joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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