Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

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What's red and green and goes 100mph? A frog in a vehicle on the Autobahn.

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when life gives you lemons, force a hobo to eat them because lemonade is going to suck if life doesnt give you any sugar.

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24

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What's the difference between Futurama and One Direction? Futurama only has one bender.

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how do u fit 20 jews in a car? 2 in the front and 20 in the ashtray

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your other apple.

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What do gay kittens eat? Cat food. Friskies and Fancy Feast are both popular brands.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face." the horse says "my wife has terminal cancer."

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What did the one horse say to the other. Nothing because horses can't talk.

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

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Why did the stereo break? Cause little Johnny threw a bat at it.

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What's black and blue and is scared to death? the kid in my trunk

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a slice of tomato A really bad joke

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Why was the boy sad? Because his mother and father had just disowned him.

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A man walked into a bar, he spilled his drink.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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What does a black guy do to a white girl when the lights go off and there's a bed in the room? They go to sleep so they can have enough energy to work their two jobs and provide for their family after they've been evicted from their home.

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How come Helen Keller couldn't drive? Because cars were not invented back then.

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i actually read the terms of service before i posted this

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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