What did the doctor say to his patient? You have cancer

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask him to lower the volume a bit and maybe also play a quieter tune.

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs? Names

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I was jaywalking when it hit me. You know, a car.

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what do you call a dog with no legs. It dosent matter it wont come

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Your mother called last night. She wants her recipe back.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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Q: How many Jew does it take to change a light bulb? A: A lightbulb cannot be changed, it either is or isn't. Do you mean replace a burned-out bulb with a new one? With design, logistics, manufacturing, marketing of just that single bulb- there are many people involved. It could be argued that we all play some small part in the process.

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Why did the young boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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Your mom.

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Q: How do you cure cancer? A: By die aids first

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Whats Yellow And Cant Swim A Bulldozer.

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Two guys walk in a bar, and they die.

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haha ur single hahahahahhahahahhahaahahhaahaha i am 2

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what dog doesnt have teeth? A horse.

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what do a blonde and a brunette have in common? They were both red-heads until they walked into great clips.

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A man is sitting on a park bench crying. A blonde walks by and asks him why he's sad. The man proceeds to explain he just lost his children in a custody battle with his ex wife.

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a giraffe walks into a bakery, "can I have 101 brown loafs please?" the baker answers: "hmm I've got only 100 loafs is that ok too?" the giraffe says: "why the hell would I need a 100 loafs?!"

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What's small, cold, and lifeless? A dead baby.

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your mamma so fat... she went to hell.

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There are two cows standing in a field eating grass. The first cow says "moo", the second cow says "Thats funny, I was about to say that".

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What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in circle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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