how come timmy didnt brush his teeth he didnt have a toothbrush

Anagram.

Have you ever seen what Stevie Wonder looks like without his sunglasses? Neither have I.

Hello we are from the church of the latter day saints.

Why wasn't the black man served at the bar? Because they didn't serve his kind there... Did I say black guy? I meant to say a horse, wait, did I say bar? I meant the barn, yes, a horse walks into a barn but they couldn't serve him because he wasn't tamed

How do you kill a blond? Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool.

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

What do you get when you cross a RPG with a cell phone? A microwave

A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

What is the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? A dolphin is not a ghost

A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

Why did the aeroplane fall out of the sky? An ant jumped on it

What's green and fuzy and could kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

whats red round and gets smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potatoe peeler

Beauty is only skin deep Well of course it is, muscles, bones and tissues look disgusting.

What does a nun and a hat have in common? Size

Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

Knock Knock Who is it? Me, I forgot my keys on the way out oh ok...

THAT AWKWARD MOMENT... nuff said

why didnt the llama eat the string bean? Becuz he was a vegetarian

Q: Whats horny and likes your leg? A: My dog.

A mexican, Japanese, and American man are eating lunch one day at work by the window. The Mexican says, "Wow! If I get a taco one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The Japanese man says, "Wow! If I get a bowl or ramen one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The American says" If I get grilled cheese one more time, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The next day, the mexican jumped off because he got a taco. Then, the japanese man jumped off for getting ramen. Then, the American jumped off for getting a grilled cheese sandwhich. At the funeral, the mexican wife said, "Oh if i knew he was gonna jump, I would'nt have packed it." The japanese wife said, "If I knew he was gonna jump, I wouldn't have packed it either." The American wife didn't say anything because she was hit by a bus.

What caused the man to become blind? He took an arrow to the knee.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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