my nAME IS ALAN AND IM NOT COOL

How many finger does a fat person have? I don't know you can never find there hands.

A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

Knock knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? The penguin who apparently lives next door and somehow developed the ability to successfully interact with other species through gesture and retoric.

I saw a black dude eating fried chicken a white guy said he wanted some but the black guy said don't put your white mayonnaise on my fried delicious KFC fried chicken

There once was a man from Nantucket. He lived a long, full life. Outside of Nantucket. But he visited occasionally.

The tall man says; How's theweather downn there? he's talking to smurf

What do you call a mexican doing drugs? An average pablo

A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

Lady is taking her Alzheimer grandpa to shop for his birthday. Parks, gets out and opens the door for him. He looks at her and asks? Who are you?

have you ever had african food? neither have they

Two black men and a latino board a plane together. They are members of the Marshall High School football team, and all die in the subsequent crash.

You know what's funny? A bucket full of dead babies. Do you know what's funnier? The last one is still alive and crying.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on the front porch? Matt What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a hole? Phil What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating down the river? Bob

What do you call a muslim in an airplane? Whatever his name may be, though you could, of course, choose not to address him, though if it were a two-seater plane, it would be good manners to exchange polite conversation.

Why couldn't the pirate get into the adult movie? He had just spent the last of his money at Ihop with his friends, and is now regretting ordering two Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruitys when he was really only hungry for one.

A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

if life gives you lemons. squeeze one into your moms eye.

what is black and looks like a rasberry a blackberry

Ring ring yes.This is doctor steve and we got our test results and it seems that you'r son has butinites and you'r kind sytoms are nothing because he is just an ass.

what happened to the retarded dyslexic? he retard on his 60th birthday and took up gardening.

Why was the girl distressed by the photo of her boyfriend's mutilated corpse? Because it was out of focus.

Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and is incapable of going to down stairs without aid.

"Why the long face?" The bartender asked. "I was born with a severe cleft palette and a jaw deformity. The surgery lets me eat and drink but my parents couldn't afford the cosmetic part of the surgery, the scarring got worse as I grew older. Can I have a beer please?" I replied.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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