You wanna hear a funny joke? Sorry, but I'm really not a funny guy. Not a comedian, you know.

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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What's funnier than 68? Will ferrel

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Why did the jews get off the bus? Because i threw a fridge at it

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What did the retarded kid get for chrismas? Nothing the orphanage could not afford to give presents to all of the retarded children

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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What do you call cheese that's mine? My cheese

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an egg? Ones delicious with bacon, the others an egg.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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What did the previously pregnant teen flush down the toilet? Her beloved pet goldfish who recently died. She had already given birth to a healthy baby the previous year.

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What did the virgin say to the car salesmen? Hello, I'm really interested in buying a car today.

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What's the same between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Whats big, yellow and red? a school bus with a bunch of dead children.

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Knock knock? Who is there? Nobody. Those were noises coming from your head.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A mormon *slam*

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Are you one of those gay rapists that flame around telling people no all the time?

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Hey, austin, what are you doing?

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Greg and Michal once had a fight I lost.

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A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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A Japanese man walks into a bar, it collapses and then is demolished by a tsunami.

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Why isn't the dog a rebublican? Because it's a dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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