Why did the man pick the flower? Because he didn't like flowers.

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Q. How do you make an oil lamp turn off? A. Break it.

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-What do you call a pyromaniac on a golf course? *** I backed over your cat. -A FIREHAZ- wait what?

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

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What did the docter say to its patient? What?? Im sorry sir you have aids

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whats worse than death getting your nuts ripped of by a rabid racoon

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Why was the prison full of black people? Because they were all their for security internships.

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartneder says, "Wow, buddy, you look awful. What's wrong?" The guy responds, "My life is a joke."

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Why is Chuck Norris so frickin awesome? He just is cause he's chuck norris

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12 in general

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An older man and a young boy are holding hands and walking into the woods together. The boy looks up and say, "gee, I'm scared, it's dark in there." the old man answers, "Yeah, just think how I feel....I have to walk out of here alone!"

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Billy and Suzy sitting in a tree... Billy is gay.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because i shot him. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? he was in front of the monkey

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Why did the dog die? I beat him with a bat

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Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station..

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the little pink lady joke: There once was a little pink lady who lived in a little pink house. One day, she was in her little pink bed when her little pink doorbell rang. So she gets out of her little pink bed, puts on her little pink slippers, crosses her little pink room, openes her little pink door, goes down her little pink hallway, goes down her little pink stairs, and to her little pink door. She openes her little pink door, and there is a postman standing on her little pink mat. The postman says: "Does Mr Green live here?" The little pink lady said: "No." So she closes her little pink door, goes back up her little pink staircase, down her little pink corridor, into her little pink room, takes off her little pink slippers and hops into her little pink bed. Then her little pink doorbell rings again. So she gets out of her little pink bed, puts on her little pink slippers, crosses her little pink room, openes her little pink door, goes down her little pink hallway, goes down her little pink stairs, and to her little pink door. She openes her little pink door, and there is a postman standing on her little pink mat. The postman says: "Does Mr White live here?" The little pink lady said: "No." So she closes her little pink door, goes back up her little pink staircase, down her little pink corridor, into her little pink room, takes off her little pink slippers and hops into her little pink bed. And then her little pink doorbell rings again. So she gets out of her little pink bed, puts on her little pink slippers, crosses her little pink room, openes her little pink door, goes down her little pink hallway, goes down her little pink stairs, and to her little pink door. She openes her little pink door, and there is a postman standing on her little pink mat. The postman says: "Does Mr Brown live here?" The little pink lady said: "No." So she closes her little pink door, goes back up her little pink staircase, down her little pink corridor, into her little pink room, takes off her little pink slippers and hops into her little pink bed. Finally, its breakfast time, so the little pink lady gets out of her little pink bed, puts on her little pink slippers, goes out of her little pink room and to her little pink kitchen. Inside, there are 3 men. 2 are eating cheerios, 1 is eating an apple. This proves that cheerios are more popular than apples!

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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Why did the young boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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Why did the red head never have a boyfriend? She was a lesbian and had always preferred women over men

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he can't fly

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she no arms

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Your mom is so fat, She should go to a doctor because her cholesterol is abnormally high.

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What does a person and a tree have in common? You can knock them down if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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