What's red, black, and green all over? A dead black bear. Just no green.

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Two cows are in a field one cow says moo the other cow say shit thats what i was gonna say

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A teenage boy tells his family that he is gay. His mother says she had always known, and they accept him for who he is.

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Your mamma's so fat she has diabetes and may die because she may not be able to loose enough weight to keep her blood sugar at a regulated number.

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What did one salt shaker say to the other salt shaker? Nothing, Salt shakers are merely used to add flavor to foods.

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Once upon a time there was a man exercising, he pulled a muscle and had to have his heart removed. In other words, don't exercise. The end.

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Whats worse being raped by jack the ripper or being fingered by captain hook

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken is now getting flowers for her dead children that got hit buy multiple cars, also the chicken is a human mother.

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Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone? A. He got attacked by a dog.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock Who's there Not Sarah

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, as speaking to himself is a sign of mental illness.

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what is almost like Jesus? Jesus

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whats worse than a bee sting, two bee stings, whats worse than two bee stings, the holocaust, whats worse than the holocaust, tree bee stings...

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Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Marmite.

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What did the serial killer eat for breakfast? You.

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What's big, white, and kills you if it falls out of a tree. A Fridge

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What did the vegitarian order for brunch. VEGITARIANS DONT BELIEVE IN ICE CREAM>

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I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

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A cat walks by a chineese buffet, the owner kindly puts food and water outside the door so it doesnt die

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What do you call a lazy good-for-nothing who can't succed at anything, steals your money, and who is unskilled in every way? A women

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Orange" "Oh, hey."

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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A: Knock, Knock B: Whos there? A: Noone, the door and the visitor are both existential figments of your imagination.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops