Two men walk into a bar The first man says to the bartender: 'Can I have a glass of H2O?' The second man says: 'Can I have a glass of H2O too?' The Bartender gives them both glasses of water because he is not irresponsible to serve hydrogen peroxide in his bar.

What do you call a man who gets off the train at Willoughby? Dead

How do you amuse a blonde? ? tell her to go to antijokes.com ( :

Why was the dentist sent to jail? Because he committed a crime.

Is it hungry in here? Or is it just me?

Q: Why is Santa's sack so big? A: Because he only cums once a year

what is the awesomest of them all? me

I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

Juan got hit by a truck Knock Knock Who's there? Juan's brother coming to stab you in the abdomen.

Gays

Knock knock Who's there? Not you

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being chased by a coyote that hadn't eaten in several days.

What did the homosexual get for Christmas off his boyfriend? A lovely present off his loving partner.

Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

A man walks into a bar gets drunk gets in his car and has a terrible crash because he was to intoxicated the end.

A man and a hobo meet on a narrow path. What does the hobo do? Finds the mans wife and impregnateds her, aborts the baby, takes dead fetus chops it up and makes the man eat it in a salad. While the man is chocking he shotes him and walks on.

What's even funnier than 24? A clown in a tree.

What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

what do you call an astrounaut in space? an astrounaut you racist bastard

What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

Why did the beachball get sad after it was deflated? Beachballs don't have emotions.

What do you get when you mix a burrito and an earthworm? Diaherea

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Hypothetical questions are a waste of time and you are not achieving your full potential by reading this during work.

why do they call it history? Women didn't do shit

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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