Q: What were Peter's emotions after he bought his $2 million house? A: None, in fact he has no home, family and anyone to help him. his leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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What did the tourist in Africa get? A souvenior.

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Britney got to the top of the building. What did she do next? She jumped off to end her miserable life

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A blind child sign is at the end of my street. I have never seen the child, but at least if he were to come outside at the right time period i might be able to spot him, whereas he would having no way of returning the gesture.

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I dyslexic man walks into a bra. This incident had no relation whatsoever to his condition. The bra was just in an unusual and inconvenient location, and he wasn't paying much attention to where he was going.

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whats worse then finding a finger in your soup? - being a cook and losing a finger

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what dyu call a jew on the moon? a problem. what dyu call ten jews on the moon? a bigger problem. what dyu call all the jews on the moon? problem solved.

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Why can't Stephen Hawking go to the moon? He can, it would require a great sum of money, and extensive anti-gravity training.

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What do you call a black person trying to swim? Wet.

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What's brown and sticky? -A stick.

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What did the Blonde do when she saw train tracks? She walked over slowly, looked both ways, and crossed safely

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IT WAS NEVER YOURS TO TAKE!

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Why did the boy wipeout on his bike? An old man threw a snake in front of his tire

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Q: How do you fit 30 Jews in one car? A: Two in the front, two in the back, and the rest in the ash tray.

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A man walks in to a bar and says "ouch."

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Subject A: Knock Knock! Subject B: *silence* Subsequently, Subject A dejectedly walks home and hangs himself.

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What is one similarity between John Samos, and the dreadful clown? they have a red nose and are payed to be funny, aside from John Samos!

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

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your mothers so fat...... shes borderline diabetic.

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Costello: Who's on first Joe Girardi: Mark Teixeira

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"Knock Knock" "Whos there?" "Interrupting kid with ADHD" *I did not respond, as I knew he would interrupt me before I was able to finish the sentence.*

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So I went to an audition, my friend said "break a leg" And then I did

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Violets are not blue They are Violet

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do you have a pen i can borrow? yeah, here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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