Person1: Have you heard about the girraffe who doesn't eat Georgia peaches? Person2: yes. Person1: Oh, never mind then.

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Billy wanted a pet...and now he got cancer...

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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In Soviet Russia, there was a population of approx. 293,047,571 people. It was dissolved in 1991, it is now know as Russia or the Russian Federation.

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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What did the southern uncle say to his nephew when he woke up? Good morning, son.

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What is black and white, and red all over? A mutilated penguin.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

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A fat man takes a crap, it looked like something a rhino would curl out.

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What's 9+ 10?! 19

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? D-12.

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I saw a man with a hungry look in his eye, like the kind you get from not eating for a while

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planking.

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What do you call a box with a dead Jew in? A coffin.

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What do Michael Jackson and most Catholic priests have in common? They're dead.

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If anyone has a KIK, put it in the comments.

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Your momma is so fat, shes skinny.

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What can a bench do, that a south African man cant? Support a family. (I HOPE THAT WASN'T RACIST)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Light turned green, indicating that it was a safe and appropriate time to cross

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Your face Godammit!!!

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Hey babe, did it hurt when the doctor cut off your umbilical cord when your mother gave birth to you. Because I have a bellybutton too!

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the WNBA

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Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with men other than her husband.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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