How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

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Roses are red Violets are blue If i gave a rats ass I'd worry about you

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Q: What's black and blue and red all over? A: I'm not sure. If it's red all over, it's not going to be black or blue.

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A fat guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "the regular?" The fat man replies, "actually this time I wanna try something different."

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Please save our environment :) Dont use electricity. Use gas! Like Hitler.

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Lebron James in the 4th quarter.

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Why were people laughing when Muhammad Ali signed autographs for his fans? He was making jokes regarding his Parkinson's syndrome in order to elevate an otherwise melancholy experience for the audience.

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A horse walks into the bar and says "why the long face?" The bartender replies "hey! I was supposed to say that!"

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BIble verses: (secret bible code breaker edition) 90.01: Might thy level of power rise above the scouter of Vegebles 3.14: Thy shall make use of pee 6:9 Oral interaction is good for thee. 9:6: Peter said, lordeth this is no good, then the lordet said, try 6:9 and all was good. 6.66 Calleth upon this number on thy cell to speak with the beast. 9:11 This number shall aid you when in danger if thy have a cell, but not against the fallen by and Al Caida. 8:00 Call upon thy cellphone at no cost. 5.99 Thy use of plays of station three, areth too expensive... Whoops! Amen and RIIIIIIIIIIDGE RACER! 50:50 Thy shall share equally. 6:19: Thy shall use thy wrestling moves well. 20:00 Thy shall noth uset this windows version as it sucketh.' 88:88 Thy shall create four equal snowmen for me. 12.34 Read this and thy shall learn to count til four. 7:77 The number of the luck. X:B0X: It sucketh hard. 3:60 it sucketh far more than the original 9:99 Is the number to defeateth the beast while he is resting upside down 0:13 "and samuel said, but oh lord, I am a teen now!" And the lord agreed and all was good. Ok, I got to decode my bible further, yes indeed!

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Q: how many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: two, one to hold the ladder securely and the other to screw in the lightbulb.

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A mexican and a black person are in the back of a car. Whos driving? A bus driver.

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the horse walks into the bar the bartender calls the pet control

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There is a black guy, British guy, and a Spanish guy in a room. Wait that'll never happen, black people hate Spanish people.

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Why didn't the bear go snowboarding? It was hibernating

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Why was the grandomther crying? She just got pepper sprayed.

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What's more funny than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed like a clown.

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There's a bunch of people standing around a retard...why is no one laughing? Its his funeral

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Someone threw birdseed.

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What is white and when it falls, your fridge is broken? Your fridge.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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What is the same about a girrafe, and an ant? They are both REALLY tall. Except for the ant, sorry I lied.

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What's meaner than taking a candy from a baby? Tossing the baby of a cliff

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2 gays monkeys walk into a bar.........

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A black man, a chinese man, and a dog decide to have a race. Unfortunately, they are shot by a sniper on a roof while still in the planning stages.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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