What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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Q: How do you call a group of animals? A: Llama.

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Why was the man crying He wasnt his allergies were acting up.

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What is big and white, not the moon CC

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A man enters a bar, and says: "It is impossible to drown in an elevator" This is incorrect.

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Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

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Hey man how was the trip to Hiroshima? Great it blew my mind!! And how was Nagasaki ? It was the bomb!!

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Why is this an anti-joke? Are you laughing? Exactly.

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef What do you call a cow that's been chopped in half? Dead

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

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Yo' momma is like a hardware store, 25 cents for a screw!

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Your Mother is so kind that when I see her I say hello and ask her how she has been

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How do you get a slave to stop screaming from the rope he is hanging on? You stop messing around and you hang him already!

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why did the boy have no friends ? Because he lived in a small cottage miles away from any civilization with his overly strict parents who would not let him see the daylight and deprived him of any kind of childhood, he has no social skills and does not know how to interact with other human beings at no fault of his own. he is also dead

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whats the difference between ebola and a can of dead babies? i have ebola. this isnt funny at all.

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Did the chicken cross the road? No because it was in a fenced in area like all farm animals should be

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. You know why it didn't? Because it wasn't a chicken. It was a dog.

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FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

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Bob: You need to push harder? Tom: Oh wow what a coincidence, that is what my wife said last night. They laugh about the irony of the situation and then return to the task at hand

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NEVER

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What did the Muslim do when he was in a big American crowd? He was socializing.

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Why did the boy lose the race? Because he is morbidly obese.

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Larchmont Park is the biggest shithole in the european union - Only the jippo part tho, lots of flies live in that part <3

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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