What did the black man say to the fat Irish lady? Hi.

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Why didn't the vampire go to the Garlic festival? Because it sucks.

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What's a pirates favorite element the periodic table? Gold.

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whats long and pointy and guys always have to brag about whos got the biggest one? their christmas trees

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What's red and silly? A blood clot

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women are like buddhist shrines, you don't piss on them

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#Getweird

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Q: Did you know Hellen Kellers father was a skilled craftsman? A: Neiter did she.

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why was little timmys mother so upset on mothers day? Because he had been abducted earlier that week

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Why did the man ask the IPhone to marry him He was smoking weed

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If you saw two cowboys in a kitchen, which would be the real one? Why do you automatically assume one of them is false, or that either of them is real?

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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Why did the pirate get kicked out of the pirate movie? He killed 7 people while looking for treasure under the seats.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick... Jack didn't make it over the candle stick and died.

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What do you cal a black boy with a bike? A thief

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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Your mom.

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what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? Nazis did't burn the pizza

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The grandfather's grandson said, "They charged me $10 just for a cup of coffee!" The grandfather said, "They charged me with bayonets."

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

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knock knock whos there boo boo who? stop crying its only me! its not you, my mom has cancer, my dad was killed in a car accident, my pregnant wife has been murdered, and my uncle touches me.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Getting shot in the head

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 1027

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What did the old man say to his grandson before he kicked the bucket?? "I wonder how far i can kick this bucket..."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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