What do Justin Bieber and Eminem have in common? They both need to get a life. I lied about Eminem.

What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Raped

What's the difference between a dead black man in the road, and a dead dog in the road? One is a human being that probably leaves behind family and friends that will miss his absence. The other is an animal that will also be missed, but to a lesser degree since dogs don't form a bond with people other than the family it shared its life with. In either of the two cases, if I witnessed the accident that caused the death, I would promptly notify the authorities so as to make sure that the driver of the vehicle that hit them would be subjected to a breathalyzer test.

What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a structure used to support sitting people, the other is a human being native to Mexico.

i jack off in the school bathroom #yolo -toby limbers

I heard you like getting dirty, so I got a dump truck to dump dirt on your bed so you can get dirty while you get dirty.

Roses are red, Bacon is red, Poems are hard, Bacon

Whats invisable and smells like a apple? An invisable apple

Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd." http://gpsphone-tracker.com/

jingle bells jingle bells,, bells were jingled!

"What dosen't kill you makes you stronger" Except losing your arms.

Asexuals aren't known for f***ing around.

UNICORNZ R PURPUL

In my country we don't swim, we drown.

Why did the guy crash his car? Because he didn't want to crash his truck.

Why did the kid hide under the table? There was an earthquake.

Whats less comfortable than a metal bench? The trunk of a car when you're being abducted.

How so you find out if a black woman is pregnant? Have her take a pregnancy test

Your mom is so old, that she should probably up her B-12 intake to avoid sickness.

Wanna hear a joke..... Corey Jacobs Scrotum!

how did hitler fit 100 Jews in his car??? he couldn't, his car only fits 5 people.

Yo mamma's so fat she has her own zip code!!! :) Well... the actual reason is she is filthy rich and her house is so big that it takes up a bunch of room, and now that im talking about her i really wanna be her even though shes fat!

An elephant walked into a pub and ordered a strong Vodka and Coke. "Long day?" asked the barman. "Yeah. Very. So many people stroking my trunk in my apartment - It's meant to be a private place. I'm scared to go back there. One child said they were going to rape me."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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