That's illegal What? Your mom

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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War horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long film?'

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why was the asian kid the only one to get an A+ in the test? He spent the longest time studying and was therefore better prepared than the other students.

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Why didn't the giraffe go to the zoo party? He didn't receive an invitation.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Insurance. Insurance who? I'm sorry, sir; we can't fix your liver because you don't have any insurance.

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I am a nigger.

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since when?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

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hahah there are so funny that they are so funny that they are so litteral that i make my self make other people laugh so that they poop

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Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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What did the boy with no legs get? A treadmill.

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I can't think of a joke!

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Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

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How many dogs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. Dogs don't have thumbs.

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Why did the girl fall of her chair? The chair can only hold so much weight.

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Penis chickens

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how many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? 2 one to hold the latter and one to put it in

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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Q. What did the man say when he beat his video game? A. "I beat my video game." Q. What did the man say after his favorite sports team missed the playoffs? A. "My favorite sports team missed the playoffs." Q. What did the man say when a murderer was in his house? A. Nothing. He was dead.

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Q: "What did the blueberry say to the cheesecake?" A: "I'm not your friend anymore!"

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A muslim and a jew meet each other in a dark ally...... they give each other strange looks because they are both in a dark ally.

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Whats the difference between a raisin and a old lady? One is alive, i think.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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