What can fly, but can not swim? Malaysia Airlines Flight 370

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call a blonde with a diploma? Dum,because blondes are still dum

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what is the diffrence between a chinesse man and a japanesse man, one is ruled by a cruel communist leader.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Who was the dinosaurs favorite NBA player? He didnt have one. Dinosaurs became extinct far before the NBA was established.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Whats funnier than watching the kid next to you on the computer? Nothing because he is still trying to figure out that i unplugged his mouse!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the black guy jump into the pool? Because he wanted to go swimming

thumb_up thumb_down +11

So a horse walks into a bar, animal service is called and after being unable to locate the owner he is put down.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the little boy with hepititess die? his mther drove him into the river!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno, that's why I asked you.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What would Jesus say if he was alive today? “Nehwê tzevjânach aikâna d'bwaschmâja af b'arha.”

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man was standing out in the rain and calls out to god saying "smite me god, SMITE ME NOW" and the man was arrested and booked cause a near by neighbor reported on the disturbance. he is now facing charges of disturbing the peace.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A pengiuin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why couldn't the boy in the wheelchair sue the man making fun of him? Because he couldn't get up the stairs to court.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did Rudolph poop while flying over Chicago? Actually, he had to go since trip started, and that's just where it happened to land.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

The word you are looking for is charm, not seduction, I am above such things, and while I have no reason whatsoever to believe either one of us can gain anything from going "eye for an eye", I am sure I can offer whatever financial and even specialized assistance you might require in order to get that eye of yours seeing clearer than before... Worry not, I shall outlaw the name Nero and all the derivations and similarities from my Order, unless someone named Nero actually happens to come by of course...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust? What's worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do Jews, Jehovah's Witnesses, Slavs, Gays, and Retards have in common? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

thumb_up thumb_down +9

whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

I used to be schizophrenic, but we're ok now.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops