How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Hypothetical questions are a waste of time and you are not achieving your full potential by reading this during work.

Q. What did Grandmother get Little Boy Johnny for Christmas? A. Nothing. She died on Thanksgiving Day.

Why did the chicken eat fried chicken? Because fried chicken is so good! Kelvin Yang.

Why couldn't the boy see his sick mother? Because he was blind

() () () () () () () ------ *__________* yo can go %$*# yourself =~~ 0

What did mike Tyson say to the midget? ''Hello'' He's actually a relatively nice man.

What do you call a blonde with a broken arm? A cripple.

http://www.youtube.com/user/SWkangaroo

Exactly what?

Roses are red Violets are blue God makes things beautiful... What happened to you

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

Why couldn't JImmy walk to school? A:Jimmy is in a wheelchair.

How did the mexicans get to the United States of America? By plane.

Why did the man drop his glasses? His hand was sweaty.

Q-What do you call a woman in the kitchen? A- A woman making me a damn sammich thats what.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To go to the slaughter-house.

A black woman sits down in the front of a bus.

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because he fell off his bike.

- Knock Knock. - Who's there? - You're coming with me.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, my chickens aren't allowed in rural areas...

Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

7am, waking up in the morning Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal Seein’ everything, the time is goin’ Tickin’ on and on, everybody’s rushin’ Gotta get down to the bus stop Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends) Kickin’ in the front seat Sittin’ in the back seat Gotta make my mind up Which seat can I take? It’s Friday, Friday Gotta get down on Friday REBECCA BLACK FTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...