What's worse than biting into a worm in your apple? Being run over by a stampede of elephants

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What's funnier than 24? 25

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What has wheels and flies? An Airplane

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why couldnt hellen keller drive? cuz she was blind

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How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

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What did the fat girl say to the good looking guy? Nothing. She didn't have the self-confidence to go up to him.

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Religion.

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A black guy walks into his bar. So he pays his tab and couldn't have been more coureious.

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Why did the boy wear a winter jacket on the hottest day of the year? Because the boy was in antarctica and the hottest day was still below freezing.

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What's worse than being fired? Eating a bucket of diarrhea.

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How do you get really high at home? You climb a ladder

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What do you call two black men kicking a ball? Soccer.

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Q: Whats Red And Has Socks? A: An Apple, I Lied About The Socks..

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Q: How do you confuse a blond A: You don't they are born that way

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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Why was the boy crying? His parents were brutally burned to death in a fiery car accident.

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What did the boy find I'n his water? Ice

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What do 2 arabs say to each other in a super-market? For those of you who don't know your history, the true Lebanese are Phonecians. As such, they are not Ishmaelites/Arabs. They are from the house of Jaffeth. the youngest of Noah's sons. Arabs are from the house of Shem (i.e., Shemites/Semites), the oldest of Noah's sons, and Hamm, Noah's middle son who fathered Cannah with his mother. Haggar, the woman with whom Abraham fathered Ishmael, was a Cannonite. As such, Ishmael, the father of the Arabs, is half Semetic and half Hammetic. The true Lebanese are neither. Furthermore, the first non-Jewish Christian church was established with the Gentiles (the children of Jaffeth) in Lebanon. And then the shop blew up.

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Why do dogs chase squirrels? Beacuse dogs have very low attention spands and also chase cars and cats.

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there is nothing better than waking up to realise that your being hugged by your partner unless that partner is not home

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What did the kid with cancer get for christmas? A puppy, but it was left too long in a wrapped up box without air, it quickly suffocated and ruined the kids chirstmas.

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Call me Ishmael. Or don't. Well, you can, but I'm not forcing you. You could call me Steve or Bob, it's not really that important. I'm just around here anyway to tell about a huge white dick. A whale dick. A SPERM whale dick. Never mind. Or the guy whose obsessed with it. No, it's not what it sounds like. He just wants to stab it with his harpoon. Wait, that sounds even worse. Whatever. Anyway, call me Ishmael...

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Q. What did the 300 pound Asian get for Valentine's day A. A jetpack. Except for the fact that the previous sentence was an obvious lie making this whole joke irrelevant.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have Somthing To tell you F*** You

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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