What did the quarter say to the dime? nothing.

Why did the condom drive over his pet mac and cheese? Because his uncle was not george bush.

Your mom is so fat that she should watch her weight and maintain a healthy diet.

How many Women's Rights activists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything.

What did Santa give little Susie for Christmas? Nothing, he raped her.

Q: Where is the One Piece? A: My girlfriend is wearing it.

Q: Why did the lady retire? A: Because she had been working for numerous years and felt that she needed to spend more time with her family.

What happens if a girl punches a guy? A white man in prison, convicted of sexual assault.

A duck walks into a bar, clearly ignoring the 'No Ducks Allowed' sign that had been placed in the window to prevent comedic scenarios.

Fucked up quotes: "When walking trough hell, keep going!" (I just turn back and walk the other way thank you, I mean worst case I walk trough heaven right?" "Never give up, ever ever ever ever ever..." (Ill just end it with etc because I gave up something as hard as... Typing?) "Curiosity killed the cat" (Translated: "Curiosity kills, stay inside forever" What?)

What's the difference between a dead cat and a dead woman? It is much more unlikely that you would have sex with a dead cat.

What is duke oxtoby? legend.

a black man did not eat chicken.

what has 2 legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

What do you get when you mix carbonated water, caramel color, aspartame, phosporic acid, potassium benzoate, caffeine, citric acid, and natural flavor? Diet Pepsi

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

What hurts people but doesn't? Child Birth. -Dave Papile

Why did bob die Cause he got hit by a mailbox

What did the man think as the foul baseball flew rapidly toward his face? Oh man, I thought my tickets were to an NBA game.

What did the white guy say to the black guy? I used to be black also. My name is Michael.

Knock Knock Who's there? Jim Come on in!

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is embarrassed but realises it has nothing to do with his dyslexia.

Why was Frankenstein green? Because he painted himself green. Frankenstein is the scientist, not the monster.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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