How the hell did Susie get on the swing anyway I don't know you tell me?

thumb_up thumb_down -44

How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the girl fall off the couch? She had a seizure.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

a suicidal man walks up 49 floors and enters a room and opens the window. hes worked there for 5 years and the air condition is broken

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A casual web surfer logs onto a website and reads half a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Jessy crawl to her bed? Because she has no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the plane say after it flew into the World Trade Center on 9/11 Nothing, planes are incapable of speaking.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

How do you pick up girls in Auschwitz? With a dustpan

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did Kelsey fall off the swing? because she has no arms Knock Knock who's there? not Kelsey

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Son : daddy ,I got punished in school today. Dad :why? Son: My teacher pointed the scale towards me saying -"At the end of this scale there is an idiot"..... I just asked "WHICH END ?.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Three men, a doctor, a lawyer, and a biker were sitting in a bar talking over a few drinks. After a sip of his Martini, the doctor said, "You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I bought my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedes. I figure if she doesn't like the diamond ring, then at least she will like the Mercedes, and she will know that I love her." After finishing his scotch, the lawyer said, "Well, on my last anniversary, I bought my wife a string of pearls and a trip to the Bahamas. I figured if she didn't like the pearls, then at least she would have enjoyed the trip, and she would have known that I loved her." The biker then took a big swig from his beer, and said, "Yeah, well for my anniversary, I got my old lady a t-shirt and a vibrator. I figured if she didn't like the t-shirt, then she could go f*** herself."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you beat a black in sports. "shot him when the game starts"

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

an average-looking woman walks into a bar. nobody really notices.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is an animal without a high enough level of intelligence to see the dangers in doing so.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Obama walks into a hospital....

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I see said the blind man to his def wife as the dog with no legs ran over

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If anyone has a KIK, put it in the comments.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What is the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari. There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you make a burns victim cry? You show them a mirror.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you kill Glenn Campbell? Stab him with a screwdriver.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the man stop running. He was tierd

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops