Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

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Adam Turkolowoskiaklfadjufsdjksbgsgsafafdsg

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Why did i write this joke knowing i wont get published? I don't know.

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Q: what happens when you eat all the potatoes A: there all gone

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what did the caterpillar say to the butterfly? Im gonna turn into you.

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Women's rights.

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What did the blonde say when she saw anti-joke.com for the first time? Nothing. She's been in a vegetative state for three years and her parents finally decided to pull the plug.

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Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

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What's the one game that black people are good at? Flashlight tag.

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OMG guess what she just told me!! idk......im deaf.

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Why was 7 afraid of 6? Because 6 accused him of cannibalism

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes You should probably get yourself checked.

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

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So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

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Will my son live, doctor? No because you don't have a son and I am not a doctor

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why didnt you take a shower? because my house burnt down

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You know who else sucks dick? My aunt Jane. She was forced to become a prostitute after she got fired from her job.

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What happens if an unmovable object gets hit by an unstoppable force? To get to the other side.

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What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

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Q: What's funnier than a dead baby? A: Two dead babies.

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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How do you kill a blond? Stab her repeatedly in her throat

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knock knock whos there? your mom really? well whats she wearing a refridgerator.

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How are a dead chicken and a woman alike? They both belong in the kitchen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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