Why did the chicken cross the road? The screams were loud. It was just one big fire behind him. He and his fellow chickens had been trapped. They thought they were being freed... They thought wrong. The guards herded them in and then the heat started. The fires began to rage. His friends, his allies, his brothers, were falling dead, burning, beside him. He had to escape. He did not think, only acted. Lashing out at the guard, he knocked him down and ran. He ran and ran until he could run no more, and he still kept running. He could still hear his brothers' screams. He could still see their faces burning before his eyes. He reached the road, and finally stopped. He looked around. The screams had stopped. The heat had left his body. But then another sound came. Yelling. The guards. They were following him. He tried to keep running. But he just couldn't. He was finished. He fell on the road, sliding himself along as quickly as he could. He hadn't run this far to be caught by the guards. He stopped. He could go no further. He looked up and saw the blue sky, cloudless and free. The last thing he heard was a roaring engine. The guards never found his body.

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why do some Jewish people have big noses? There religion doesn't affect the size of there nose it really depends on genetics, like the if there parents had a big nose, or a small one would probably affect the size of a Jewish person nose

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god."

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Man: Did it hurt? Woman: huh? Man: Did it hurt when i killed your family?

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Why did the man stop having seizure? Because his condition was recognized and he was properly medicated.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends. How hard can you throw?

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Why did Jane get pregnant Because she bought a man's semen and put it in her vagina.

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Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: Boobees

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I have alzheimers but atleast I don't have alzheimers

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what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

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What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

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How come Helen Keller didn’t scream when she fell off the cliff? Because at 19 months she contracted an illness that left her blind and deaf and therefore never learned to properly use her vocal cords

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Where's my tractor?

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What did the Nazi Death Camp Guard say to the escaping prisoner? - Nothing. He shot him in his face.

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Why do girls wear perfume? Because they smell and they're ugly

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Very few things are worse than this international tragedy Over six million people died, most of them tortured before they died. But stepping on a thumb tack is way up there

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how did santa ruin christmas? he didnt put presents under familys tree's

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Why did Jane's parachute not open? Because a plane hit her on the way down.

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Stop making fun of Stevie Wonder, you dont seen what he has.

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How many dead kittens can you fit into a trunk? -19

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How many black guys can fit in a minivan? Eight.

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If I was trapped in a closet with you and a bear, and I only had two bullets, I would shoot you twice!

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A man walked into a bar. "Ouch"

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A man found a magic lamp. He rubbed it and a genie emerged from the lamp. The genie asked what his new master's wishes were. The man wished for asthma.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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