Your mother is so old that her prom theme was fire

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What did the man with five penises say? I have 5 penises.

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Little Jimmy was afraid, and didn't like Santa Claus. So one Christmas Eve, he poured rat poison in Santa's milk. Little Jimmy no longer has parents.

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How did the fat woman survive the car accident? She had on her seat belt.

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How many Jews can you fit in an oven? None, it's illegal.

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? stolen, your under arrest

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Knock knock. Who's there? Josh. Lettuce who? I didn't say "lettuce"... I said Josh.

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Why, if you are blending a baby, should you put it in feet first? So you can look in to it's eyes when masturbating.

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What's brown and green, has six legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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A man and his dog walk into the park, the man grabs a ball and chucks it for the dog. The dog can not chase after the ball because he has no legs and bites his owners leg.

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What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? Give her a time-out. Throwing sharp objects is not okay.

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Ginger woodpecker throbbing in the moonlight

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Roses are red, violets are blue, Gee, I wish I could partake in even the first two lines of this stanza, but alas, I have colourblindness.

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How can you tell if a woman is a man? If she has a penis

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When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

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What's worse than stepping on a snail? Stepping on a bear trap.

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Q: What did the mute kid say to his mother ?

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What did the caterpillar say to the robot? Nothing. Caterpillars do not have vocal chords and there are not, as yet, any truly portable robots capable of comprehending speech so to speak to one would be pointless.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to escape the evil villains in giant mech suits.

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Your mother is so white that when she goes to the beach she has to wear sunscrean to avoid being badly sun burned.

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hey jimmy! hey bob -.- jimmy, pls pls explain how to do this.. ): see your mom? yea... do it like we did her (OOOHHHH!)

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs, who got cancer for Christmas, get for his Birthday? Nothing, he didn't live that long.

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An englishman, an irishman amd a scotsman were walking down the street. What a fine example of unionism

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All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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