yo momma so fat. that shes fat

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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Suppose an American, an Indian, a dinosaur, and a leprechaun are on a plane together. Which one would be the first to chug a 7 pound bottle of coke? The situation is too unlikely, with the odds of it occurring being less than 1%, therefore the question cannot be answered accurately.

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What is purple and crawls? A wounded grape.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know what? SCREW YOU!

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I thought about taking a nice warm shower, but then I realized that the power was out and it would probably be a cold shower.

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What would George Washington be doing if he was alive today? Scratching and screaming at the bottom of his coffin.

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Two muffins are in the oven, one looks at the other and says, "it sure is hot in here." The other responds, "AAhHH a TALKING MUFFIN."

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What do you think about whats happening in the middle east right now? You're an idiot.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

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Pi and i are having an argument about the state of modern mathematics. Pi goes into a frenzy and i says "be rational". Pi does not realise that i was just being friendly, and so tells him: "get real". [L]

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Q. Why did the man fall off his bike? A. He was hit by a canoe.

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whose a bitch? ian doyle's a bitch

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knock knock who's there greg greg who greg is crying because his grandma dementia made her forgot all about him

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Why was the chicken angry? Because he was tired of everyone questioning his motives.

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To girl in a bar: Grab your coat love... It's cold in my basement.

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Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

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How do u know the difference between a adam and rappers you dont they r the same

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What do you get when you hit a deer? A dead deer, which you should probably take home to eat - wouldn't want it to go to waste.

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What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

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What do you call an Arabic man who crashed a plane into a business building? A careless pilot whose recklessness caused him to crash into a building. His stupidity and lack of plane control skill led to a horrible accident that involved the death of thousands of innocent people and the death of many business people's office pets.

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Q:What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

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Three men sat at a pub, it reminded them of this joke they once heard

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how do you get lady gaga to wake up in the morning? Hit her with a brick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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