What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when riding on a roller coaster.

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Always bring food to the zoo. It's not the animals who placed the signs not to feed them.

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why did simran go to jessicas house? To go have a human taco

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What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

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"Why do children's movies show everything in that happens in the movie in the trailer?" "The same reason I show children everything that's inside of my trailer."

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http://logs.omegle.com/de4e4b0

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what is the difference between the dead baby and the sandwich? i don't put my penis into the sandwich before i eat it.

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What did the vapyre eat for dinner? Nothing, they dont exist.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, And I'm blind.

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What happens when a chicken with a goat have sex? nothing.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Walt dies in breaking bad.

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roses are red violets are blue last time I saw u were in a zoo don't worry ill be there to not in a cage but laughing at u

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Jack and Jill climbed up the hill .... and fetched a pail of water.

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I like touching my boobs

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

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like a someboyyyyyyyyyyyy

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What smells like shit and is covered in cheese? Sean's pizza socks.

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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Potato.

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Two birds were sitting on a perch, one turned and said to the other, "Do you smell fish?"

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If no means yes and yes means no, what is yes? Yes

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting repeatedly hit in the face with a brick after getting fired from your job.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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