why did the chicken cross the road? because there were no cars coming, and felt compelled to get to its family

what did Tim do when he got married? He kissed the bride Mecheoo LOVES ASS

I walked into the cactus store. The clerk there was being mean so I called him a "prick". ...........

knock, knock who's there? boo boo who? sorry i dont know anyone named boohoo so get the hell off my lawn

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not your cheese.

A bar walks into your mother.

BRANDON LUI ROCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Want to know whats funnier than 24? 25

Why did the homosexual cross the road without looking both ways? He was blind......

okay.....

Hey dude, wanna come with me!!!! Sure, where? ON YOUR FACE!!!!!! -_- ........ok sure why not

Why did ned fall out of the tree? Because he was hit by a koala.

There are three men in a canoe traveling upstream. One wheel falls off. How many pancakes fit in a doghouse? 9, because ice-cream has no bones.

Boy: whats for dinner Kidnapper: beans and weiners

Why did the guy throw a clock out of his window? Because he had mental issues.

Roses are red violets are blue tulips are purple/pink

why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

In the movie, Full Metal Jacket, my favorite part was when the entire platoon beat PVT. Pyle with hard soap while he was tied down. Actually I am lying. That part was extremely cruel.

Q: Whats better than getting raped by a dog? A: Getting raped by a cat.

Lightening never strikes the same place twice. But it killed both my parents.

Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

Q: What do you call a Jew in space? A: An astronaut you racist bastard!

A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

What happened when the prisoner dropped the soap? He picked it up.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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