Let's play twenty questions. Alright, but I have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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Q:why did the boy not have to walk his dog? A: because the dog and the rest of his family died in a terrible house fire while he was away at summer camp.

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When Life gives you lemons, Make Orange Juice!

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''Levi Johnston is running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. Ironically, many of the babies he'll kiss on the campaign trail will be his own.''

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How do you make a plumber sad? Steal his plums.

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Why did the black man win the race? Because he was talented and hardworking.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A manufacturing defect in the chain link fence released several chickens who are now freely roaming the area.

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Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

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How do you minimize the likelihood of theft? Take the derivative.

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What did the Asian get on his math assignment? 56%, he forgot about it and passed it in a day late with a number of questions uncompleted.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get hit by a car

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If through some strange space-time paradox, Chuck Norris ever had to fight himself, Chuck Norris would-- What am I saying, that would never happen!

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A guy walked into a store and bought a candy bar. Why? Because he wanted some chocolate.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Meals on wheels - eat up!

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, didn't you read the sign on the front door? It says, "People with suits on will not be served." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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A man buys free health care...

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Five people all from different backgrounds get in a car and nobody get's raped.

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Why was the truck making noises? It was backing up.

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What does a Jew do when he finds money on the street? He picks it up and is probably happy it was there.

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What did the Mexican Have for Thanksgiving Dinner? A Turkey you racist!

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What did the little boy ask for for Christmas? A new brain, as he has a malignant tumor, he died.

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I love you You love me We all grab 2X4's Barney's on the floor No more purple dinosaur.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding worms in your stool.

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What two states don't have running water? Solid and gas

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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