Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

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WHat did REAAAALLLY Jesus say when, walking on, wat, er?, Will somebody please get me of this floating piece of ice? Please? Stop screaming HALLELUJAH! People: HALLELUJAH!

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There was a man with a job and kids. One day he came home from his job and went to sleep. He never woke up because it turns out he had a heart attack.

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what did the Nazi do when his Jewish rabbit died? silly Nazi rabbits don't have religion

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You're as useful as Baby P's dummy.

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What happened when the old man fell off the roof? He died....

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: A deaf guy

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What do you call a man with a shovel through his head? Unless he was carrying ID when he died; John Doe.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall again? Because somebody put her back on. Why wasn't she able to hug her dad? Because she has no dad.

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My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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What do you call an elephant on the moon? Dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have amnesia Roses are red

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CHAD'S A FAG!!!

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Your mother is so fat that when she went to get weighed she was diagnosed as clinically obese and later broke down into tears.

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A teenage girl walks into a dark alley. She emerges on the other side completely unharmed.

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What did I wake upto this morning that was white , cold and 2 inches deep? My tiny flaccid penis.

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What did the bicycle say to the fat kid? Nothing, bikes cant talk.

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Q: Why is Abu Soooo Dank? A: Because he scores too many left-foot bangers

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What's stupid and a waste of time? Anti joke .com because people on here are too ignorant and serious cuz it's not funny. It's anti joke G-Dang it. Come on seriously

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what do you call an ocelot with ebola? an ocelot that might die soon.

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What's worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. The worst ones remind you of how horrible your life is.

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SC Johnson a Family Company

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What did the white man say to the group of mexicans when a golf ball was coming toward them? 4!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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