1st guy: Wanna hear a joke? 2nd guy: Yeah sure. 1st guy: Me too.

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A panda walks into a bar... Psht. Panda in a bar, that's impossible.

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In what way are a pile of deceased children and a Ferrari F430 similar? Neither can be found in my garage, nor anywhere under my possession. As for the Ferrari, this is an unfortunate truth. Due to Ferraris' high level of desirability, and to their low supply, the cost of one such car is much more than an average person can afford. As for the pile of deceased children, anyone in possesion (for lack of a better term, as one can not truly possess another human being, even post mortem) of such a grotesque thing is probably too sick and twisted to be submitting jokes with no apparent climax in hopes of stimulating the minds of the joke's readers sense of humor.

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How many small children does it take to change a light bulb? None. Children are not old enough to do this by themselves.

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Why did the boy trip? A small explosion in the center of the earth caused by a hobo created a tsunami, causes a seagull to fly off in alarm. The seagull lands on a Smart Car, causing it to crash, which sends a signal off to a satellite in space. Because of this, a massive earthquake occurs. Oh, and the boy? There was a bowl of soup left carelessly on the ground.

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haiku for you ladies and gents My mother once said, "Slow and steady wins the race" She died in a fire.

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Tim's gay.

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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what's the difference between me and callum ? a couple of miles.... and id like to keep it that way

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Yo mamas so fat she is obese

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh

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WHAT????

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What's the difference between a black man and a bag of crap? Quite a bit. The black man is a human male of the Kingdom Animalia, while the bag is an inanimate object. The only similarity between them would be that they both contain organic matter.

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if i get 1,000 likes ill kill your hole family

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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Guess what? What? Your dog is dead.

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb boy get for Christmas? Cancer

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice tits.

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A man walked into the woods... Sorry, I forgot the rest of the joke...

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Why isn't this joke funny? Because it has no point.

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What's the difference between Wolfjob and a Jew? Wolfjob is attractive.

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What happens when you lay a diamond in the water for two hours? It gets wet.

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Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

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Whats Funnier than the Holacaust? A: Nothing you asshole!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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