How do you make a tissue dance? Tissues are inanimate objects, they cannot dance and thinking otherwise is foolish.

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A man and his young child walk into a clinic to get physical check-up. The man learns from the physicist he doesn't mater. His wife remarries and start having frequent sex and the child is scarred for life. This is irrelevant because both parents don't exist and this is all a constant delusion in an psychiatric hospital.

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Yo momma so fat, people snicker as they walk past her, quietly laughing at a women obviously struggling with obesity. They then proceed to stop laughing, as they realize that their mother died from diabetes. They then proceed to move on with their day.

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A car walked into a bar... wait no it didn't it has wheels.

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What is worse than failing a class? Dress up for grown-ups.

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Why the chimp fell off the tree? Because it's dead.

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A woman is terminally ill in the hospital and her family is trying to decide what her last meal should be. Her older sister suggests tea and the idea is accepted enthusiastically. The other sister suggests making jasmin tea and the ill woman's son also suggests toast. The woman's husband looks down at the orange he had just peeled for his wife and looks up at the rest of them. moments later he shoots the three of them and then himself. All were found dead. http://www.dispatch.com/content/stories/local/2012/01/11/food-tiff-ends-in-deaths.html

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What did the homeless guy say to the not-homeless guy? I'm homeless.

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Dylan: "I dont understand anti-jokes"

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says "It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave"

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Why did the Mexican mow his neighbors lawn? Because the Mexican was 12 years old and his neighbor was paying him $20 to mow the lawn.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC and join his chicken friends to protest.

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what did the judgmental teacher say to a challenged student? your stupid

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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What did the boy with asthma say to his friend I can't breath

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So how does the chicken cross the road? He doesn't, chickens live on farms.

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yo mama's so fat!!!

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face!

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A black guy and a white guy both interview for a job. The black guy gets the job because he is college educated and highly qualified.

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Your mom's so dumb she has cancer...... oh wait that's racist

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luke moore cant pull it back

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Why do white people drive big trucks? 'Cause they can afford it.

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What do you call a black man with gold teeth? Cruchie.

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If John has 50 candybars and eats 45 of them how many does he have left? Diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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