- Anti Joke

Why was timmy live on the streets? His parents didnt have the money to abort him!! HaHa

Why did he have to die so young? It just isn't fair... In all considerations, the bullet didn't ask to become embedded in his skull either.

Why did the Mexican steal a pack of tortillas? To feed his family. He didn't have the necessary funds to pay for it.

What's the same between a grape and an airplane? they both have wings but the grape doesn't

What do you get when you cross a muffin with chocolate chips? A chocolate chip muffin.

A baby seal walks into a club.

Okay "Mr. Your instructor" "Mr.Fucking hypocrite" You dirty asshole! First I will give you some Intel about what I know about you! Then I will tell you what to do! Do you remember when you plowed trough a woman and stole her car in order to sell it? Remember when you returned to her, discovered you had had left her pregnant and as such you had a fifteenth year old daughter now? Then how you began drugging your own daughter so she would turn parlor tricks or she would not get her drugs? But you had to try sell her to three guys for some hours to pay your cocaine abuse too! But that day a certain young man with a metal hand that cracked the wall with your skull and told your daughter he would take care of her until "you got better? " Yeah, that same guy you kept calling for "little crippled sunnuvabicht that keeps sounding like a fucking fortune cookie that is trying to be a messiah" Remember? Or have you already forgotten the man you work for today? Even then you called him a psychopath, a lunatic, a demented fool on a daily basis! I know, because I was a member too back then, but I quit not because I stopped trusting the man you serve and trashtalk, but because I could not stand people like you talking shit about him all day! Because I could not stand that the "fortune cookie sounding/paranoid" "cripple" knew that you treated him like shit behind his back, but believed you where still intelligent and an asset in order to help those in need! So I quit! Oh, but you did so well after he took your daughter away right? Yeah because your daughter begged "the cripple" that he help her daddy out! Yeah, "that fortune cookie talking guy" gave you half his uncle`s inheritance... Where did you think the money which suddenly appeared in your mailbox came from? Do you think it was out of malice that the same "cripple" came around a month later again bashed your skull and told you it was time to end your coke habit and take care of your family or he would break your spine? You sure went back to the women whose car you stole from, but your daughter was petrified of you! Oh, now, now "you where my instructor" a fucking billionaire with your own mansion and sailing boat! But did you recognize her? NO IT IS FAR HARDER TO RECOGNIZE YOUR OWN DAUGHTER WHEN SHE WAS NO LONGER THE TEEN YOU DRUGGED INTO BECOMING A STRIPPER AND THEN TRIED TO SELL, NOW THAT SHE HAS BECOME A UNIVERSITY BIOLOGY TEACHER WITH A MASTERS DEGREE RIGHT? Do you believe that a man whose only name we all know by is Nero is trying to become a fucking messiah? Does it seem like he cares if you idiots treat him like shit? You do know what Angelo Nero is right? Italian for Black Angel, you do know why he forbids people practicing religion in your goddamned little order right? Messiah wannabe? My ass! It is as he told me pigface, he does not want people to follow Gods or him, he wants people to think for themselves and succeed. Ill tell you what to do, first, you do not plan shit, because as soon as you act, if those terrorist will track you back, and kill you all SO YOU WAIT! Your "Oh so shameful I earn 98 percent more than my leader" You do not see to have had problems having your own fucking collection of Ferrari`s do you? Now you make sure Nero7 survives If he says aliens will come kill us all, he is right, if he says that the doctors treating him are spies trying to kill him, you better kill them, and if he tells you to that your daughter would be a much happier person if you took your life, he is right father. He gave me the "Alias" "Eliza" hoping you would recognize your daughters real name ELIZA you piece of shit! You apparently had no trouble remembering that name when you where moments away from selling me that fifteen year old girl to three pigs! If he dies, you wont need fear no terrorists "pimp daddy", because then I will kill you myself! I know where you are hiding, its cold there and I got even the coordinates, so if your last hope out there dies, I will sell those coordinates to them, the price? They all gangrape your ass! And kill you! And then you will regret everything! Screwing over your daughter, and letting the man that saved you and me die! Unless the next reply comes from a fully recovered Nero7 I will call you on my traceable phone, and tell them "Oh daddy lets share information about the orders last hiding place on horsehead network like we do" And if they are willing to take a peek, you better find something else to do, you wont, but I know of someone who can. So now you wait until the only man that has ever known what to do has recovered, AND DO WHAT YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE TO STOP THIS ALTOGETHER! YOU DO WHAT YOU ALL SHOULD HAVE DONE ALL ALONG! YOU LISTEN TO WHAT HE HAS TO SAY, AND YOU BETTER FUCKING DO EVERYTHING HE TELLS YOU ALL IF YOU WANT TO SURVIVE! Now that you know who I am, I hope in my heart that you have become a better man, and stop asking me shit, because if they can trace my reply, Nero7 would at least have succeeded to save your daughter and made sure she got educated well, but if I reply, and those terrorists find out, you will be the one that screwed over everything he did for me, for us, and get me killed. Make sure the only person I care about there survives daddy, and THE HELL IF I MEAN YOU!

Whats more funny than 1 bomb on 8 babies? 8 bombs on 1 baby.

Selena Gomez, Victoria Justice, and Arianna Grande walk into a bar. They were making a movie.

Why are black guys so tall? Because their knee grows

q; whats small and high pitched a; rory johnston

Why are watermelons green? 9, because cows like to eat grass.

What happens when you get caught inside a tornado? You don't, the debris around you will most certainly kill you before you get close to the tornado.

Whats brown and can't ride a bike? A lampshade.

What is the difference between a feminist and a gun? A gun only has one trigger

Why do some RVs have 2 doors? Because 11 would be too many.

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research.

Q: What did the banana say as it was being eaten? A: Nothing. Bananas are inanimate objects and therefore are incapable of talking.

Roses are red Violates are blue Go to hell I hate you

What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can A hundred dead babies in a trash can Whats worse than a hundred dead babies in a trash can A live one at the bottom Whats worse than that It eats it way out Whats worse than that It brings friends

A- knock knock B- whose there? A- Chuck Norris B- chuck norris who? A- are you retarded?

Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so there i must be a pig

roses are red violets are blue i have AIDS now so do you.

how do you make a fat black man cry? Rape his wife.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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