What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber and One Direction? A bunch of gay pop stars.

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What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An extremely talented reptile.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because him and his girlfriend were in a bad relationship and he needed to get away for a while.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you need a poo.... ...hold it in.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than Nickelback? Nothing. -Win G.

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Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

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John has 38 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

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You know, people are kind of like trees, they tend to fall over when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Ebola

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What do you call an epileptic in a bowl? James, if that happens to be his name.

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What do an onion and a hamster have in common? They are both in my Grandma's omelette.

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What does a black man love more than anything? His family you racist c u n t.

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Q: who is the worst person to ever post "jokes" on anti-joke.com? A: ryan valee

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fun fact for the day: 100% of people that drink water die sooner or later

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My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

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dylan wishes life was like cod. that way he would actually be able to do something cool

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dfghfgdfhfdhfgdfghdfh

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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My great grandfather died in a concentration camp. The poor guy fell off the guard tower.

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Jim came home from work. only to find out his family had been murdered

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How do you circumsize a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw.

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What's worse than having a friend in a car accident? Laughing at their funeral.

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Why was the black man running down the street with a suitcase? He was late for work.

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Once upon a time there was a very lonely man. He was kind, strong, handsome, smart, and basically everything that was good and that a girl wanted. Well, one day, through all his immense loneliness, he decided that it was time that he got into a relationship. Knowing that he deserved a competent and pure woman, he went to a local church to search for his perfect match. That night, he took home with him the most beautiful and purest of all the women in the church, brought her to his room, and whipped out his junk on her face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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