What came first, the chicken or the egg? Well, to tell you the truth, I think that the chick-fa-lea came first.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Roses are red, violets are blue. I know.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did the grandmother forget her grandsons name? she has Alzheimers so she is slowly forgetting all her relatives

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Can I have... ...a beer." The bartender asks, "What's with the large pause?" To which the bear replies, "I have... ...a speech impediment."

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why didn't the family finish their picnic? Because a dog was sick all over the food.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the cow fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second cow fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first cow.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What does a black guy get for Christmas? your bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

"Knock Knock" "whos there" "interupting cow" "interupting cow who" "i have aids"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats worse then finding your mom with your boyfriend? finding your dad with your girlfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

An old man gets into a van with two little boys. They are his grandsons.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

its all aodhan

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Nope, but you know those like little stop motion things with clay figures? Plompsters or something?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's worse than holocaust jokes? The Rwandam Genocide.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do you call a tortilla from venezuela? A tortilla.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A squirrel runs into a bar and out-runs the bartender to get some assorted nuts on the table then runs out of the bar

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you kill a polar bear? You melt the polar ice caps and take a rope and choke it till it is out cold. You then put a plastic bag over its head and throw it in the water.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your mom is so fat, she got obese and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

your mama is so fat, she sat on the ipod touch and made the ipad.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Jerry: Hey, do you smell that? It kinda smells like updog. Moe: What's updog?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between a red Ferrari and a pile of deal babies? The red Ferrari is not in my garage right now.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops