What's the difference between Harry Potter and the Jews? Harry Potter can escape the chambers.

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*Knock-Knock* "Who's there?" "The police, you're under arrest for the murder of your wife and your two children."

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On Tuesday mornings at 7:32 a.m., what is the square root of 31? I don't know, because it would be an irrational number of which is not possible to calculate without the aid of a calculator. However, the date and time would not affect the answer.

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why did the one handed man cross the road? to get to the secondhand shop.

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A black guy gets arrested...

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Chuck Norris watches TV.

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Every time you make fun of an Ethiopian child he dies a little on the inside.. But that's probably just from the hunger..

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how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually, now that i think of it, roses come in many colors And violets are actually violet in color, thus the name

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Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid? A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil.?

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what bounces and is blue all over? a blue bouncy ball

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roses is red violet is blue i will smack you

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My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

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What did the black boy get for Christmas? A bike his parents bought him.

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2 men walk into a bar without thier shirts. They get kicked out. 2 women walk into a bar without thier shirts They got beaten almost to death Why? The men dressed up as women, and every hated them so much they beat the almost to death when 2 cops walk into that bar, see the men dressed up as women and they too beat them. Little do they all know that the men disguised as women are really secret goverment agents looking into a drug deal. The drug dealers got away and now we have 2 people sueing the police department and drugs on the street again. Oh yeah I almost forgot: I made this up so if you read it you're going to die withing the next 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 years. I gurantee it. If you dont the men in white coats are going to do extremely painful tests on you and you just might die so then no one will care and maybe get onto thier lives again. Why did I right this? It hasnt happened to me so I dont know If you tell me I will give you something more valueble than gold. Want to know what it is? TELL ME FIRST!!!!

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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Why do so many people enjoy these jokes. They are funny

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Whats worse then getting stabbed in the trachea by a aids infected knife? getting pounded anally by satan

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What's long, hard, and has come in it? A long, hardcovered book.

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What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

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Two Jewish men walk into a butcher shop. They don't buy any pork because that is a fundamental dietary restriction placed upon by their religion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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