What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Yo mama's so fat that she should probably go on a diet to avoid the risk of getting a cardiovascular disese.

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what's worse than getting raped the guy who raped you has aids

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Statistically 9/11 Americans wont get this joke. But 7/7 British will.

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One day Rebecca Black was driving down the street in a brand new convertible Luckily a policeman pulled her over after observing that she was far too young to be driving a car. Underage driving is a serious offense and should not be endorsed in music videos.

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c+t+c?

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I've got a tip for the ladies. Or if you like I can put the whole thing

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Viciously beating your children with other recently beaten children.

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What do you call a man in a wheel chair? Stephen Hawking

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. His death was mourned by his wife and three children who wished he would not have been so reckless.

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef What do you call a cow that's been chopped in half? Dead

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Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? the black baby is black

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How do you get a baby out of the blender? Pour it

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What's worse than not receiving presents on Christmas Day? Being forced to consume your own flesh

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Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

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Jennifer walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender's name was Steven. His friend's sister who was my cousin's ex wife has the same name as the girl Jennifer. That's what I heard.

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What did the little girl say after her dad hit her? Nothing. She was a month old and died instantly.

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Why did the weird, creepy old man in the beat up van give ice cream to the little girl? Because his company went bankrupt and as part of a court order, he was thereby forced to give away the remaining contents of his inventory to those who seeked it.

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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What do you do when you see an elephant with a basket ball? Engage in play - if the elephant is playing with a basket ball it is most likely domesticated, and if it has toys it's probably well treated. Well-treated elephants raised in captivity are tolerant, sociable, intelligent and playful.

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Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

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Why did Sally dance and record it on Vine? She did it for the Vine

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Your momma's so fat...

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9/11 my birthday

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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