Why did the addict choke himself with a trash bag? His family couldn't afford a funeral and it was the quickest way to disappear.

A stoner walks into a bar. A few minutes later he is asked to leave by the bartender because he is disruptive and uncoordinated. The stoner leaves because conflict is not in his nature.

A woman wearing a very fancy, striped sweater walks into a bar and sits down. The bar tender asks her “what’ll it be”?. The girl replies “Just a beer for me”. As this happens a child in Africa dies from complications due to starvation.

So a guy walks into a bar. Ouch. It was a gay bar.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road, and then come back halfway? A: He was racing his friend to the other side. He didn't realize his friend got hit by a truck until he looked back. He continually cried until finally he got it together and walked over to his dead friend. He wasn't paying attention though, and another truck hit him. The truck driver continued his road trip and bought KFC for dinner.

What can be worst than letting someone you dont know run a chainsaw? Letting Smokey Dokey run a chainsaw!

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

why did the man get ran over by a turtle? he crossed the STREET

Why did the pot-head have red eyes? He got soap in them.

How do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the Brake

I Won a Math Debate................ say it fast unless your blind then dont say it wait you cant read it so uhhm Alaska

Your friend is so blonde that when she was born she had no hair but overtime it grew out and became blonde.

Diana and victoria

Why hasn't Justin Bieber gone through puberty. Usher Chopped his balls off.

How do you get a clown off a swing? Hold his family at gun point

What would the funeral home do without a dead person? Wait until the next appiontment

your mamma so fat she is homosexual... hahaha to bad u will get last in her

What do you call a Mexican who steals cars? John Doe, until he's been identified.

What did the pc say to the Mac? You suck

What's worse than standing in line at Walmart? Being raped. What's worse than paying an outrageous amount for whatever it is you bought at Walmart? Being pregnant with a rape baby.

What did Einstein say to the blonde? 'What specific part of the theory don't you understand?'

Whats white and sticky and falls from the sky? The Cumming of the lord

This ones for the dudes: Whats worse then having sex with a woman with no penis? Having se with a man

THE LOVE SHACK IS A LITTLE OLD PLACE WHERE WE CAN GET TOGETHER!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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