A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The shark replies i dont have cancer just a terrible drinking problem.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No. Oh don't worry then.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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When does a blond laugh and cry? When she's raped by a clown.

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how did the family die? They were shot in the head.

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A giant meteor will hit the earth tomorrow.What do you do? Tell everyone I told you so.

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? Me :'(

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George: I see you got a haircut. Jim: No, I got them all cut.

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How do you get an Irishman out of a bar? You politely ask him to leave.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms, legs, and an eyepatch A: Names

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Why did the moogle cross the road? Kupo kupo kupopo!

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Why did god make asians? I dont know. Yah, me niether

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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Q: whats worse than finding out you failed an exam? A: finding out you where Hitler in a past life

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There was a black man and a mexican woman at a bar. The women says, "Why are all racial jokes about men?" The black man replies, "Because it is believed by some that males are superior to women." The woman went to go order a book from amazon.

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What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

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Me

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So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home

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my bubbles!

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What color is an orange chicken? Fried rice

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What happens when you have fish and a rhino mate? Nothing, that is physically impossible, a rhino is a lot bigger than a fish and it would not be possible for a rhino to do that with a fish considering a rhino can't breathe under water and a fish can't breath with out air.

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman gets off the bus and files a complaint with the public transit system and the driver loses his job.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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