*Knock Knock* "whose there?"... "me"

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what's gray, red, and goes over a 100 mph? a toad in a blender

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What's under there? I'm not falling for that one...

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A Vietnam war veteran accidentally goes to a Vietnamese concert and says, "I could take a lot of them down with me."

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DAAAAAAAAMN! I AM BEHIND THE SQUARE WHEEL AGAIN! AND THAT SHIT IS POINTY! PRETENDING TO CARE IS SUCH A HASSLE! Anyway, I hope you know I was joking (otherwise you would totally be,not as smart as I thought) but yeah lets see, I am the fourth most pointless MAN, after "The square wheel", "My wife" (:)) I guess some guy just married the wrong wife huh?) And the the fucking wheel is a billion times more manly than Justin Bible or whatever you called that... Thing, and that wheel is made from a female tree! What? HAVE THE LAST COMMENT? I DO NOT GET HAVE! I GET TAKE BY FORCE! Well as far as comments and go, and sex of course.

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You momma's so ugly your dad left her.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set? Because she didn't.

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what do you call a young man? a little boy

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Why did the zombie go to school? Zombies do not exist and certainly do not go to school.

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Why did the beautiful girl get the job over the not so beautiful looking girl She was more qualified

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what do you do if you see a black man covered in hot greece on the floor of the bus shelter? call an ambulance...

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cancer

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How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor

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What did the man say to the woman? get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall underwater? dam

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Q: what did the common cold say to the cough? A: you are SO annoying!

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Though if the ladder is rickety and she needs someone to steady it for her, two.

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a man walked into a bar "ouch"

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Have you heard the joke that they don't tell retarded people? You haven't? Well then alright let me tell you because it's actually quite amusing.

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Why did Tesco not serve a black guy? Because he just happen to be holding a gun

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What is the difference between a deer and a child in africa? Why does it matter? They're both being hunted.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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