Your mama is so ugly. But she is still a respected member of the community

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a man with no body, just a nose? Nobody Knows.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man was drowning in a lake and so he asked God to save him. A man on a boat came by and said to the drowning man "Do you need any help?" The drowning man said "Yes! Thank God a boat came for me!" So the man on the boat pulled the man from the water and saved him.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Chick Norris... Enough said

thumb_up thumb_down -4

roses are red , violets are blue , sugar is sweet and so are you. the roses are wilting the violets are dead. the sugar bowl is empty and so is your head

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What does a blond do with a box of crayons? A: Paints a picture

thumb_up thumb_down -120

What's blue and pillowy? A blue pillow

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock. who's there? Banana. Banana Who? Knock KNOCK!!! WHO IS THERE!!! BANANA!!!! BANANA WHOOOOO!!! Banana Johnson....... I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a piece grass just mowed. A black person.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

name-Sally-Sue What I am good at in school: readin' annnd...math. What I need to work on in school: spelin

thumb_up thumb_down +9

You're so fat, that a picture of you fell off the wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme but this one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the chicken cross the road? How am I supposed to know?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

here kitty kitty

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I like it, I like it becuase it is cream

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why aren't there alligators in a bookstore? Because alligators would pose a danger to customers.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: a black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? A: The mexican. They're going to the bookstore to get some books.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? THE CHICKEN!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's megan fox's bra size? Wait I got a fb notification brb!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops