Paul and Steve, Siamese twins attached at the head, come to a fork in the road they are traveling. Paul wants to go left, while Steve wants to go right. They pause for a moment to figure out which direction would be the best choice for the both of them. They decide to go Paul's way, and as they continue to travel in silence, they try to imagine what life as a self-reliant individual would be like.

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A convict escapes a prison he's been in for 15 years. He's soon tracked down by police and put back in jail where he'll serve another 2 years of jail time along with his 5 remaining years.

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe, When he woke up one night he discovered with fright, That the friendly old neighbor from next door had broken into his house with a chain saw in an alcohol-induced murder attempt.

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How did Jonny die We don't know he was never found

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sally was hit by a bus and lost both arms knock knock who's there? not sally

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant?

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Ask me if I´m an orange. Are you an orange? No I? a person.

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Whats the best thing about chuck norris? he's chuck norris.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why would a baby cry? Because it's being put through a juicer.

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Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

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Why didn't the man get into Harvard? Because he had bad grades

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What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot you racist BITCH! Its ok a niggah gots altititude.

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Can midgets still have big dreams?

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Why is Keven's name spelled with an E Because his parents are black.

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What do you call a man in a wheel chair? Stephen Hawking

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs Mat

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whats red and bad for your teeth... A brick.

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im a straight dude and all the gay dudes at school make fun of me oh wait i wrote that backwards

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Q: Why is eminem such a good rapper? A: well if you want to know its becuase he had a bad childhood experience and and needed some money so he put hard work and dedication into rapping.

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What is black and white and red all over? A half eaten zebra carcass.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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theres a taco and a blonde...who eats who? the blonde eats the taco.

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What's the easiest way to make new friends? With Play-Doh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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