An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

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What's worse than rush hour traffic? Your childhood friend, Ricky, was just brutally killed by a street cleaner

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"knock knock" "who's there" "Chuck" "Get out of here Chuck I hate you!"

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How do you kill a fly? Shoot it

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My title of old was Satan. You humans killed my brother, ending God the holy trinity`s stay on earth, the Gods Omega. Moral: And yet you call ME? THE ANTICHRIST?!? I OFFERED HIM WATER! YOU OFFERED HIM TORTURE AND DEATH!

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What do you call an African-American picking cotton and harvesting wheat. A farmer.

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how many blondes does it take to fix a lightbulb? 764,983,792,545,653,

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A giraffe walks into a bar.... just kidding, a giraffe wouldnt fit in a bar.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Refrigerators are whitWhen falling from trees, they kill you

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Why did no one throw a fridge at the boy on the swing? Because fridges are heavy.

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whats the difference between you're mom and you're dad none there both the same

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French people.

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Duncan Traywick is hilarious.

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What's similar between a yellow bicycle and blue potatoes? They both have weight.

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Whats the difference between a garage full of dead babies and a garage full of money? I don't have a garage full of money

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Why did the chicken cross the road? She had no purpose.

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I got bored today and decided to surf the web. Thank you for reading this

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What has wheels and spins round and round? A dog in a wheelchair.

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what do you do if you get in a car wreck with a black man get out of your vehicle and exchange insurance information

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What's naughty and rhymes with CORN? Naughty corn.

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Q) What did the farmer say who'd lost his tractor? A) Where's my tractor?

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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"I can sell this watch for $500 dollars on the black market!" Well, you could sell your liver for $500 dollars on the black market too.

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"Knock, Knock," a man called out. A child threw open the door and peered out at him. "Why didn't you just knock instead of saying 'knock knock'?" Flustered, the man couldn't come up with an answer, and the child promptly closed the door, locked it, and returned to her previous activities.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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