Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

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~Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? ~ ~He was dead. ~ ~Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? ~ ~He was stapled to the monkey!!!

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Why did Sarah limp to school? Because she got hit by a tree

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Once upon a time there was a tree. But it was just a tree, so it sat there. Then it didn't rain for a while, so the tree died. And nothing ever grew there again. The End

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Why did the elephant paint its toenails red? So it could hide in a cherry tree. Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? No.... See, it works!

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Who is the best person to do your nails with? Nobody, you have no friends.

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I like my kids how i like my coffee I dont like coffee

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Roses are gray Violets are black Don't judge me I'm color blind>.>

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-Is your refrigerator running? -Yes. -Just wondering.

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why didnt the mouse go for the cheese on the mouse trap it is proven that mice dont actually really like cheese all that much.

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If a chicken and a half lays an egg and half in a half of a day how long does it take a monkey with a peg leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

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Why did the husband and wifes marriage fail? The husband slept with many other women and is putting his family through a hellacious situation.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who's there? Alzheimers

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What kind of fire alarm does a zebra not like? One that doesn't work

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A man walks into a bar He says "ow" and promptly sits down and ices the bruise he sustained

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Polity ask him to stop.

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why did the boy and girl go under the covers together? because they were cold

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense, Refrigerator Sex

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Women's rights

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? One if part of the four main food groups, and one is not.

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers. -Del Primm

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What did the man get when he returned from Africa? AIDS

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What do you call a house full of Mexicans? A house

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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