If life gives you lemons, keep them because hey, free lemons

thumb_up thumb_down -23

derp

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there was no oncoming traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A girl that had Malaria couldn't play with her friends, whys this? She died.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Yo mamma is so fat she needs a highly dangerous gastrointestinal bypass and if she dies you will wish she had made more of an effort to diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call someone with the world biggest encyclopedia on their head? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between Hitler and Kim Jong Il? Hitler's German

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A: Knock Knock. B:Who's there? A: The IRS and Child Protective Services

thumb_up thumb_down +76

What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because people kept making the same joke about her not having arms so she was hoping the fall would break her neck.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

The cream, it is coming

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? "I don't like Asians."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A duck walks into a bar and says, "Have you got any grapes?" The bartender replies "No." The duck then leaves but returns the next day and again asks, "Have you got any grapes?" And again the bartender answers, "No." This happens again the next day and in annoyance the bartender yells, "If you come in tomorrow and ask if I have any grapes, then I will nail your feet to the floor!" The next day the duck came into the bar and asked, "Have you got any nails?" to which the bartender replied, "Yes." The duck then walked out of the bar

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A Jewish man and a blonde were in a DIY store, the man buys a box of screws. The woman gets a phone call to find out her son is late for tennis training. She then hangs up the phone and leaves the DIY store with great hast.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats the difference between a lemon and an ant? They're both yellow except for the lemon.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Last week, I saw a film. As I recall it was a horror film.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's dark, has an opening, and guys like to go in it. A cave

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q:What did the deaf kid say to the blind kid? A: nothing deaf kids can't talk they can only have conversations with their hands,which would be pretty useless at this moment cause the blind kid can't see his hand guestures

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I found someone on the ground who wasn't breathing and had no pulse.They must have been in a damn deep sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Friend: Hey dude, you wanna come to my house after school and do some Meth? Other Friend: Nah I dont wanna get scabs all over my skin, disgusting teeth, and im not in the mood for dying early. Im good here.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops