What do you get when you don't wear protection? A baby.

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What is long, erect, and 12 inches long? A ruler.

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What did the deer say to the hunter? If you shoot me i'll die.

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Whats fluffy, multicolored, and dances like a disco santaclaus? i don't know.

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

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Funny names Alec Balls Isaac Balls Dick Hedd Willy lickerr Lydia Stick Gaylord Sugar Fanny Gouger

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Why a warm-harted man turned into cold-blooded? He's dead

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What is said about the man who is addicted to online gaming? He plays more than 5 hours per day and doesn't have any social contacts or whatsoever.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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What is black at the bottom, and white at the top? Society.

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What does an emu an a kiwi have in common? Both are flightless birds endemic to there own countries.

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4 strangers are shopping at the mall. The big one does a trick and then the small one was good. The bad was small like a tree, seven days later the short one was having a party with a pretty lady. To the teacher was morning and everyone did happy times.

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your mama's so ugly, she suffers from chronic deppression.

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What does Chuck Norris do when he breaks his legs? he calls a doctor.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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What do you call a man who can't sing. Untalented and he should probably find a new profession

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Q: What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? A: Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Q: So what's worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? A: The punchline of this joke,

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Your mother who?" "Really?"

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why was the black man on the bus? cause he needed to get to work

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A black guy walks into a dilapidated house and purchases large amounts of narcotics. Racism isn't funny.

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Who keeps his best friend in a gun rack? a red neck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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