Heeeheeeerrrrrrrrrrr

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Yo Mama is so old that she is probably unable to become pregnant.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and chess? Michael Jackson's dead.

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Whats an Anti-Joke? Funny

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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Why did the girl commit suicide? She has been abused severely for seven years by her pet kangaroo.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because after death the body loses control of muscles and the monkey could no longer grasp the branch with his tail

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Hey are you from tennessee? Because I recognize your accent and I grew up there also.

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An airplane crashes into a state park. There are no survivors. Susan continues her stroll in the park, considering she is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair, she isn't aware of the nearby disturbance

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? You don't have to cook an onion to eat it.

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Q: What did the man say to the sexy female nurse with long hair and big breasts? A: I have diarrhea.

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Two black guys walk into a bar. Bartender asks them what they want to drink.

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Why was the Asian man told to open his eyes? He was sleeping.

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Q: What Jews are doing in Palestine? A: Living.

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What did the girl without arms get for her birthday? A pair of gloves.

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Two drums and a cymbol fall off a cliff... ba bum BUM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA it used to be ba dum ching but im so funny that i changed it to ba dum bum. credit to Alex H

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Whats yellow pink and blue and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? Oh were you expecting an answer here, if i knew the answer i wouldn't have asked a question.

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar with a vase of 12 roses. 57 years later he died after a lengthy battle with colon cancer.

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A clown attends a childs birthday party. He molests 4 children and kills the others. Then leaves.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on a deserted island when a genie appears and offers each of them one wish. Before making any decisions on what to wish for, the discuss what the smartest choice is. They return to the genie. The brunette wishes to return home, as does the blonde. The redhead wishes to be able to walk again. The genie denies the wish because to walk again she would have to wish for two legs. The genie leaves and the redhead eventually dies of dehydration as she cannot move and the water that she reaches from the ocean contains salt which dehydrates her faster than the water hydrates her.

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Hey Jay, did you here the one about the 3 hookers at the bar? Jay didn't reply because he was deaf

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*Knock knock* I thought no one was home so I left... Turns out my grandma hung herself

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After the haitian revolution, Haiti lived happily ever after, Until god smited them with a devastating natural disaster

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What is worse than using the toilet and then realising there's no toilet paper? A racially motivated massacre.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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