Your mom is so fat that her Body Mass Index is 30,?which is considered obese, she should really try to lose some weight.

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Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

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Why did the blonde drown in the bathtub? Her father repeatedly molested her and beat her mother, she no longer wanted to live in such a life and promptly committed suicide

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What's black and white and roams the sea floor? A zebra.

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whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

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How do you get a fat man to drop a brownie? Make fun of him until he kills himself, and then drops the brownie.

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- Knock knock. - Who's there? - I am. - I am who? - You are Steve. - Indeed.

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What did the cow say to the dog? Moo

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If you're happy and you know it get a life

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Why can't the T-Rex give high fives? Because they are extinct.

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"I like my women like I like my spare tires, in the trunk of my car." -Paul Alangadan

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This guy gets on a plane and leaves he takes a bite of a green Apple and says to sower then he takes a bite out of a red Apple and says to sweet so he takes a bite of a gernade and says to crunchy so the plane lands and he walks past a little boy crying and says little boy why are you crying because a green Apple came down and hit my dog in the head so he's walking along and sees a nether boy crying and says little boy why are you crying cause a red Apple came down and hit me on the head so he's walking along abd sees a little girl laughing little girl he says why are you laughing cause I farted and the building be hind me bluw up lol ????

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Fine, ladies first.

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Why did the sheep cry? Because it contracted cancer

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Well I do want it to end now but...WHAT? How did you get that trough? I thought hypnosis was supposed to increase awareness and focus.

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Why was the old lady hard of hearing? She spent many of her young days blasting hard rock from her speakers/

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jeff Oh hey Jeff, come on in

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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A man is at the doctor's office and the doctor says to the man: "I'm sorry sir, you have AIDS and Alzheimer's disease." The man says: "Well, at least I don't have AIDS!"

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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There once was a man named Joe. Joe had AIDS, and killed all his friends and family The End, now go back to bed, pussy

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How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

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So a man is shopping on black Friday...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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