What's green and has wheels? PAIN!!! I lied about the green and the wheels.

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The body system was looking for a leader!? Heart - I am because I circulate the blood Brain - I should be because I control the body Liver - I should because I feed Anus - No, I am All laugh The anus held closed for seven days. The liver exploded the brain stewed and the heart stopped beating. Anus - Now, what am I?!

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I scream, you scream, we all scream for shit

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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I walked into town today and bumped into a butcher, a baker and a candlestick maker. It meant nothing to me because I was never read nursery rhymes as a child due to my parents both dying before I was conceived

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A dancer walks into a barre

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What do you call 4 Mexicans hopping the border? 4 Mexicans in search of a better lifestyle from poverty.

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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a man walks into a bar. ouch.

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Wife: 'what did I put into the washing machine ?' Husband: laundry

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Why didn't JFK Jr. shower before the plane flight? He was in a hurry.

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Richard Gere has a girlfriend called Goldie

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Why did the kid trip over the rock? Because he was diagnosed with serious autism, and might die soon.

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A spatial closet situates trolls beside the whistle.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white, and Pansies are pink.

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hi

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Whay is jerry so bad at parallel parking? He just got a sex change yesterday.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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What do you get when you have 5 Russians, a few 8 year olds, and guns? A kidnapping

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Why did the blond woman sell her water skis? She was in a horrible accident and will never walk again.

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whats worse than a baby in a bathtub? its dead. Whats worse than that? its in a clown suit. Whats worse than that? The baby had down syndrome.

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A man walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic beverage. The bartender serves him and inquires about the man's day. The man says nothing, drinks his beverage, pays his tab and walks out.

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Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

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Why did the ginger cross the road? To tell the police that her family had been taken hostage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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