What did the chicken say when it layed the square egg? Ouch.

Why did Susan fall of the swing? She had no arms... Knock Knock... Who's there? Not Susan...

sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssLOLIAMINTHESIDEBAR:Dyouaregaylol

What do you call a woman outside of the kitchen? Out of place.

Q; What feels like plastic and tastes fake? A: School Food

You and your parents are going to die today

know whats funnier than 24? 25.

There once was a man from Nantucket Who was stung on the head by a wasp When asked if it hurt he replied, 'not a bit, and he could do it again if he'd like to.'

What's the difference between 10,000 dead babies and a Farari? I don't have a Farari in my garage.

How many asian children does it take for Gary Glitter to get aroused? Just one.

Q: What's so funny about medical records? A: You're not the one dying.

And riiight after you... Hey its always ladies first.

what do abortion and a coat hanger have in common? they both contain 4 vowels

What's worse than 9 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 9 trees.

Why did the little girl selling lemon aid die? Someone drove by and threw a fridge at her

Why didn't Steve finish his homework? He didn't want to.

What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

Why did the war end? Because one country surrendered. They were getting beat pretty bad, it seemed like the only viable option.

How did Bush really get into the White House? The front door.

I know where you live. No seriously im looking at you through your window. 80% of you just checked. 90% of you didnt realize i just ended that statement with a question mark. 100% of you just checked gotcha

So a man walking down a nature trail came across an injured fox laying on the ground in pain, it looked like it was attacked recently. There wasn't much the man could do at the time, so he gently picked up the fox and rushed the fox to his house. The man arrives moments later at his house with the fox. There were a lot of options the man could choose, but he went with a simple recipe. The man grabbed a knife and gutted the fox, removing all unnecessary organs. He then skinned the fox of it's fur. He sliced the head off, cut the legs to a stub, and stuffed it. He gave it a nice seasoning and placed it in the oven at about 350F for 6 hours. When the fox was perfectly cooked, it was taken out of the oven and left to sit for about 5 minutes to cool. He cut a chunk of meat from the dish and sat down to eat. "What a fine meal" the man said.

How do you start a Mexican parade? Close off the streets you plan to have the parade on, and be sure to have a decent amount of floats and marching bands.

They see me rolling' Up my sleeves for some volunteer work at the local shelter

what kind of dog has no tail? a hot dog

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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