How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? None. While they were figuring out who to change the bulb the bulb lit a spark and the house caught fire. Everyone but one died. The black guy couldn't change the bulb because the bulb was lost in the fire.

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You know what they called Obama in highschool? Nigge*

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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How do you make a doctor upset? Teabag his dying mother

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why did the man beat his wife because he was mean

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Jackie Chan walks into a bar.

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How many fish fingers does it take to change a lightbulb? Five.

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What did the black man say to the Jewish man Nothing, because they were walking on the street and did not know each other

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a chicken walks into a bar and gets drunk. the locals then proceed to tell the police because the chicken was harrassing people after he got drunk

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What green and has wheels? grass I lied about the wheels

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hook. Hook who? Who are you Hooking Your Horns to?

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Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

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What does samios search on google? Shemale gey big t.it lactating big c.ock An.al tearing Ana.l dilation school girl rape compilation

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How many squirrels does it take to drive a refrigerator 10 quarts per elephant? Vanilla Cake

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What did little jonny do when he broke his leg? He proceeded to brake into tears due to the excruciating pain caused by his unfortunate injury.

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Why do you put a baby in a blender face up? To see the expression on its face

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Q: What would happen if you threw a red brick into the black sea? A: It would get wet.

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1+1=2

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whats not funny and has access to a computer and reasonable internet? Me

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Yo mama's so ugly, she has difficulty attracting a partner.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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What's black and chrispy inside? A black guy with bonecancer

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The Pittsburgh Pirates

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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