Knock knock! Who's there? Hello. We would like to talk about Jesus with you.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why didn't the girl make the basketball team? She has no arms or legs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let out the chicken?

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did you hear about the mexican that went to college? yes

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What can't catch or throw? A Quadriplegic

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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Friends are like trees, they fall down when hit multiple times with an axe.

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The sons of modern psychology: COCAINE MOTHERF8CKERS! COMING OUT IN YOUR CINEMA RENTAL STORE YESTERDAY! Sold out. (yesterday)

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A depressed man walks into a bar. He has a drink and heads back to his apartment. On the way he was killed by another man attempting to commit suicide due to depression.

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Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

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What did one tree say to the other tree? Nothing, trees can't talk.

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Think of a number between 0 and 2 That's how many times you're going to die in this life

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What do you call an asian guy in a police uniform? A police officer.

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Roses are Blue Violets are red, I need to go the the bathroom

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Why did the toddler fall in the pool? He was irresponsibly left unattended outside and tripped on the edge of the pool. He died within two minutes and his parents were blamed for his death.

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin mobile XD

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what did the n i g g e r with alzheimers say to the c h i n k? 9/11 was the funniest fake joke since the holocaust and 9/11 and the holocaust and 9/11... and... what?

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Q.What do you call a friend with benefits? A. a buck fuddy.

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What's long and hard? The Ap European exam that i just took.

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the man walked into the bar and said ur gay

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Why was 2 afraid of 3? Because 345!!!!!

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why did the kid get a bad grade he didnt study

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what's worse than finding out god isn't real? finding out he is

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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