Why did nick and tyler visit anti-joke.com? Because they have nothing better to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was both deaf and blind and both senses are essential to a driver

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A priest, a pastor, and a rabbi walk into a bar. All three are alcoholics and have done irreparable damage to their livers.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

yo mamma's so fat, she decided to go on a diet

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why did the boy get hit by a bus because he dropped his ice cream

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do blind people see when they close one eye? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down

A bench doesn't breathe, apparently Mexicans do.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock Knock Who's there? I don't know Then why should I care I don't know

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what did the poor kid get from santa? Nothing santa hates poor kid, but the rich kid got a very nice convertable.

thumb_up thumb_down -138

Who won the race? I don't know look it up.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Man: Doctor, everything I touch hurts. Doctor: Okay. Let's test it out by first touching your leg. Man: It hurts. Doctor: What about your arm? Man: It hurts as much. Doctor: What about your back? Man: It still hurts. Doctor: I see......your fingers are broken.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Your mom is so stupid she makes stupid people look not stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's black and white and red all over? Half a black face and half a white face after going through a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

there once was a frog with no leggs

thumb_up thumb_down -7

womens rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? -I don't care

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Ginger woodpecker throbbing in the moonlight

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the Asian crash her car? Someone shit on her windsheild.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What happened to the deaf, dumb, and blind kid? I don't know. Niether does he.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops