There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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Q: Why do geese fly in a V? A: It's more aerodynamic.

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A christian and an atheist are in a bar. The christian says "if you don't accept Jesus Christ as your lord and savior you will go to hell." The atheist replies "No I won't."

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What do you do to a little boy who just called you fat? Throw a rhino at him!

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what kind of person would you call dumb the ones who read anti jokes

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One

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Do You Know You Have Cancer?

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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A man walks into a bar... And orders a glass of beer to cool himself off after a long day at the quarry.

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I once saw a picture of a man who was bloodily murdered with his testicles replacing his eyes. then i had a nightmare, that was completely unrelated

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Why did Thomas miss school? Because he was sick

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eden stop

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Why was the black person sent to the back of the bus? All of the front and middle seats were taken.

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Why did the chicken loom the road? To unlock the final boss.

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a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?", the horse incapable of understanding the English language promptly shits on the floor and eats a bar stool.

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Chuck Norris Dies.

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Why did blink-182 get a record deal? Because they play quality punk rock.

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The time and place do not matter because I'm a lesbian.

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My girlfriend dumped me because I'm patronizing. That means I treat people like they're stupid.

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-On a scale of one to ten, what's your favourite colour of the alphabet? -The answer is yes, because aliens don't wear hats.

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What is rainbow-colored, makes no sounds, and smells like a banana? A rainbow-colored banana

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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