What's big and green and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A snooker table

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why did the girl like dick? Because Dick was a nice boy.

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Jimmy can't drive the tractor. Why can't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he's a patato

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Why do black people always say to the left to the left... because they don't have rights.

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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Your mamma's such a whore, she sleeps with men who pay her.

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What's that on my back? Tell me it's your phone ! Its my phone.

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What's worse than an STD ridden Blonde Crack Whore? a black

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Whats luckier than finding a lucky penny? winning the lottery.

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Why are we posting shit jokes on here? Because we can't drink!

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What's another word for Manslaughter? My new Hobby

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why did the cow eat a computer? Why? Who knows

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A black guy, a white guy, a Jew, and a priest are on plane that is on fire. What do they do? Call their family and tell them they lovedthem, because there are more than likely going to die.

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people, and are a nation and ethnoreligious group originating in the Israelites or Hebrews of the Ancient Near East. A pizza on the other hand is an Italian dish made up of cheese, bread sauces and multiple toppings.

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What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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what's more interesting than capital gains tax? (there's no answer)

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

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I walked down a dark alley at night and ran into 2 black men. They said hello and were on their way

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roses are red violets are blue if you and your sister were hanging from a cliff i'd save your sister

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why was 6 afraid of 7 because 6 just found out 7 had genital herpes.

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Q: Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? A: A burglar

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What happened when Susie fell off the Ferris Wheel? There was an open seat.

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I would rape her

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What did the orange elephant with 6 legs say? Kill me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops