Simon: Knock Knock Alfredo: Who's there? Simon: Wire Alfredo: Wire Who SImon? Simon: Wire are you asking me this!!!!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i get tired of this shit let's have some grey goose

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lol

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Q. Why didn't the man tell his girlfriend about his big lottery win? A. Because it was none of her business.

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What's a joke? Funny

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a motorboat. They are sucked into the propeller and brutally disfigured instantly.

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Whats the difference between a truck full of babies and a truck full of bowling balls? You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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what dog doesnt have teeth? A horse.

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What did the lady say to her child? Nothing sadly the baby was taken to Timbuktu by the father. Ps: it's a real place look it up

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what did batman say to robin to tell him to get in the car? get in.

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Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: None. Woodchucks do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grasp or throw anything, so the point is moot unless they evolve thumbs for the sole purpose of chucking wood.

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why did the man lose his testicle? he had cancer

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What's the difference between a black man and a Ginger? Their pigmentation.

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What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Why did Suzy Fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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Why was little Mat petting his dog? Just kidding his dog died in a house fire... so did little Mat

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Did you hear about the fetus who met a clothes hanger? I doubt very much that you did.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? There are many things that could be considered worse than finding a worm in one's apple. In addition, the matter of better or worse depends upon the point of view of the person in question, so what is worse than finding a worm in one person's apple may be preferable to finding a worm in another person's apple.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice tits

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What did the man in the mirror say to the other man The Same F****** Thing!!

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How did the boy compliment the girl? He told her she had a lot of breasts. In return, she told him he had many penises.

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Hey, want to hear a joke? Women's Rights

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The street outside of my house is covered in jelly. I have done this.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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