What do you get when you make a website to put jokes on? People repeating the same joke over and over again, and still managing to get good ratings.

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A man walks into a bar. Q: What's the apple doing on your head? A: Peach? It's not pear. It's banana.

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What's grey and looks good on policemen? your mom.

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Whats worst than finding half a worm in your apple? Getting rapped by a giant scorpian

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what is the diference between my left tit and my right tit .... my right one was cut off because of breast cancer

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Q.Why did Beethoven kill his chicken? A. It had contracted a serious illness. He had killed it as an act of mercy.

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A catholic priest held a puppet show at a kindergarten. The children were a very polite audience and the event was considered a great success.

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A plane filled with English tourists is on it's way from Holland to Spain. It crashes in France. Where are the surviors buried? Survivors aren't buried.

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A black guy and a Hispanic guy are in a car together. Who's driving? The black guy.

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Why did the horse insult the postage stamp? He didn't. Horses can not speak English nor can anything verbally or physically critique a postage stamp and make it feel any emotional distress.

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Stop procrastinating.

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why didn't the boy get any presents for his birthday? because when his dad went to the store to get him some presents he ended up buying presents for himself like a huge douchebag.... and the apple doesn't fall from the tree so his son is a douchebag too and doesn't deserve presents.

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Why did the sheep cry? Because it contracted cancer

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A man was caught by the Aztecs for stealing from their tombs. The Aztecan chief said,"Sometime during the next week I will kill you, but I will do it when you least expect." The man was then given a room. He deduced that he couldn't be killed on the last day, Saturday, or else he would see it coming, so it must be before Saturday. He then deduced that it couldn't be on Friday, because he would expect it to be before Saturday. He used this logic to rule out every other day of the week, therefore the Aztecan chief would never kill him. He was killed on Wednesday.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the farmer let him out, and he found a road to cross!

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How do you make a baby stop screaming? Pour acid down its throat.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Skeletons neither have muscles nor brains to control any muscles and therefor cannot transport themselves across a road or any stretch of land for that matter.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him access to food stamps

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Once upon a time there was a pure and beautiful girl who lived with her step-mother and her two step-sisters. They made her live in the basement and had her do all the chores while they went to parties. Then social workers came and relocated her to a foster family.

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Q: What comes first the chicken or the egg? A: Pineapple.

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What happens if you play CS:GO? Well you loose alot of fucking money.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're a faggot.

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What do you get when you cross a horse with a house cat ? A law suit for animal cruelty

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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