Q: why are black people so good at basketball? A: because the can shoot and steal:)

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A duck walk into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender hands him a glass and the duck drinks it. After finishing his drink he ruminates about how drowning his misery with booze won't solve a thing in his life. He decided he'll call his ex-wife and apologize and goes back home.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do Chinese people call Chinese food? Food.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you say a bad word in your language? Like this: "A bad word in your language"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Chuck Norris was so good at karate that he held the middle weight world title for 6 years and was named fighter of the year by Black Belt Magazine. He also used his talents to start a successful acting and advertising career.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? lts of stuff like murder, rape, slavery, poverty, mindcontrol, mass genocide, the holocaust, racism, plagarism, physichal assault, war, terrorism, massacres, onsloughts, necrophillia, the dead rising, zombies, jokes on antijokes.com, awkward situations, dieing, cancer, ADHD, other mental illnesses, paint, the grim reaper, shinigami, stereotyping foreigners, prejudicism, bullying, armed robbery, hacking, viruses, incest, feral animals, getting lost in the forest, arsonry, pyromania, passing out in a bar, meeting a serial killer, and finding 2 worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Moral Man Solid V: The Pain Phantom.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

4-4-2

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the stuffed animal say to the human after the human said hi? Nothing, after all stuffed animals can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +14

vbh

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Children playing GTA......... what a world of rapists

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is yellow and writes? -A Ball Point Banana!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man and a woman are alone, the man holds her down and says I'm going to rape you! The woman replies I'm not into that and leaves unharmed

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What happen to Teenage Mutain ninja turtals? Go Ninja Go.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a qoman with 10 kids? A mother with 10 kids

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I'm not late, I'm fashionably tardy!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

space is fun

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Johan showering. . . AWK

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What has 9 arms and sucks? Def Leppard

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Three blondes walk into a bar. I prematurely ejaculate.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A: When was rhe last time you touched yourself? B: A few seconds ago when I had an itch on my arm

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops