Q: Suzy loves apples, she will do anything to get her hands on an apple. Why didn't she eat Tom's apple? A: She ate someone elses apple and then he killed her before she could get to tom's!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what's white and sticky semen

thumb_up thumb_down +12

whats the diffrents beetween a footballer and a hat nothing i lke chesse

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Two elks were out flying one day. One of the elks turned to the other one and said: - You have a cinnemon bun in your eye. - What? - You have a cinnamon bun in your eye! - WHAT? - YOU HAVE A CINNAMON BUN IN YOUR EYE!!! - I CAN'T HEAR YOU, I HAVE A CINNAMON BUN IN MY EYE!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is black, has either black or yellow stripes, and cannot climb trees? A parking lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ouch!" Later that day, the man's daughter takes him to the doctor because he's acting strangely. The doctor gives him an MRI and the daughter is told that her father sustained severe brain damage from the injury. Now the daughter has to juggle taking care of her father, taking care of a child she bore from a drunken one-night stand, and recovering from her meth addiction at a rehab facility, all while making minimum wage at her dead end job. Eventually she hangs herself, leaving her father and child to slowly die on their own.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What happened to the dying kangaroo? He died What animal is not in the lion king? Kangaroo --why? Because he died...

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Your mom is so fat That the salesman advised her not to buy the tight dress

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, because they have turned to alcoholism because there is no God. GO COMMUNISM, BOO AMERICA.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the Irisman say to the bartender? Don't know? i don't speak Irish?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

WHAT DO U CALL GINGERS GABRIELLA

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Roses are red Violets are blue Lemons are yellow

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? there are twenty of them

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats the difference between a hoover and a harley? one is a vacuum, and the other is a motorcycle.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why is Taylor sad? Because she's the middle of a human centipede.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Jay Z: a guy eats a gluten free pickle flavored cupcake, what happened? Will ferell: no one knows what it means! It's provocative!!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between a chicken and a bartender? A chicken is a domesticated fowl, a subspecies of the red junglefowl. As one of the most common and widespread domestic animals, with a population of more than 24 billion in 2003, there are more chickens in the world than any other species of bird. Humans keep chickens primarily as a source of food, consuming both their meat and their eggs. A bartender is a person who mixes and serves alcoholic drinks at a bar. also bar-tender ; 1836, American English,

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Knock Knock! Who's there? The doctor. You have aids.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you get a one armed polock out of a tree? You assess the situation and get a ladder the proper size to reach him, making sure the ladder is stable.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Two birds fly onto a bench. They cherp 3 times and sit there enjoying the nice weather.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter what you call him. He won't come.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats worse than falling off a bike? rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

You know who else sucks dick? My aunt Jane. She was forced to become a prostitute after she got fired from her job.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops