What did the girl get with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a gay dog? Steve

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Alright then, call me sometime then.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Your Mamma is so poor that she begs for money.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

The little mouse lifted the giant Elephant up so the Elephant could reach the bag of snacks, but then the Elephant said: I cant reach it, you must be tired so lets switch places... Squish: Squish! Elephant: Mouse! Where are you! *looks at "squish" NO! THIS WAS NOT THE WAY THE JOKE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE!!!!!!! Moral: Elephants cant talk...

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a black man that is working on a farm? A farmer.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

what's funnier than a dead baby in a clown costume? philanthropy

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A fairly-priced Apple computer.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Hey, you are competitive, but let me have the last word here and you will like it. If you keep poking your nose constantly, the effect will actually overlap, making it stronger and stronger, by all means though, make sure you keep some nose working alright?

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's Tyrion Lannister short for? It's not short for anything, it's his full name.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Two people on a boat, Pete and Repete. Pete fell off and Repete radioed the Coast Guard, who sadly got there just in time to watch him drown to his death.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

If a plane crashes on the border of America and Canada, where do you bury the survivors? Somewhere discreet where no one will find them

thumb_up thumb_down +19

you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's worse than a 15 year old getting hit by a car? Adam Johnson

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Yo mama so stupid, she signed an apointment with Dr. Pepper

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What does tupperware and a walrus have in common? they both like a tight seal

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a building full of black people Jail

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie roll pop? It would have to take a reasonable amount of licks for enough enzymes in the saliva to breakdown the hard candy part.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What did blue say to red? A: Let's make some purple

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dying infants.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

no

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats not green and cant pee? Not a pea!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops