Why did the murder walk up to the lady in the car? It was his mom.

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Why did the fat black man call the fatter white man. Because they were good friends and liked to talk.

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

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What's green and goes "Kablowie!"? Probably nothing.

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How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

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How do you win a war? Drop a fridge on your enemies.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a cucumber

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The funniest thing about this joke is that by the time you realise it doesn't say anything its to late to stop reading it

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A women in her kitchen hears a thud outside. Her husband fell off the roof.

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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How do you punish an electrician? Kill his family.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A: A quadriplegic.

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What do you call a group of homosexuals placing an order at McDonalds? Gay

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

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What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench? THe NBA

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it's in a chicken coop.

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How many kleptomaniacs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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What do you call a Pokemon without a trainer? A wild pokemon.

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what's the difference between natives and dogs? people enjoy having dogs in their houses

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Why did the goose cross the road? He was playing duck, duck, goose

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There are two types of people in the world: humans

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What do you call a dragon that doesn't breathe fire? A Griffin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops