all ur antijoke are belong to us or i mean we can share, whatever

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a man checks his brand new cellphone to see if he has a text message... He has cancer

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What's hanging by a rope from the tree in my backyard? A tire swing.

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You know what they say about big shoes? Big socks. You know what they say about big socks? Big feet. You know what they say about big feet? Big hands. You know what they say about big hands? Cancer.

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What do you all a dead black man? A corpse.

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a dog walks into a bar....it sees the horse and starts barking which ever dentally startles and confuses the horse resulting in tables and chairs being knocked over .

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was an object of great appeal to him on the other side.

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Your mother is overweight. This is largely due to her sedentary lifestyle.

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Several men are in a bar a tall white man named James orders a round of shots for all of the people they all have a fun time untill James gets into a car with Derrick who is not sober they drive right into a sick childrens hospital and cause many frantic wild fires throughout the town. They all end up in jail for an unrelated cause

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Without geometry life would be pointless

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red Oh no! Someone's been murdered in my garden!

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You know how we have iPods? OJ Simpson strangled his wife.

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What did the boy get for christmas? a new lining

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what happens when you throw a green rock into the red sea? -- it gets wet

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What's the difference between a baby and a mushroom? One is delicious, the other is a mushroom.

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Two girls walk into a bar. One ducks.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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Ed Milliband looks like an amphibian.

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What do you call a Jewish lawyer, who is happily married to a woman, but goes and sees a man on the side? A gay Jewish lawyer who cheats on his fake wife.

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I'm so hungry I could eat a well prepared meal!

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A duck flew calmly through the air and landed softly on a beautiful lake, where he was then shot for trespassing.

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Whats funnier than the Holocaust? Nothing.

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An African-American is like a hammer. It can't be trusted in the hands of women.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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