What is the first step in making an ugly girl pretty? Shave her genitals.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "The Police" "The Police Who" "Ma'am your son just died in a car accident"

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Micheal Jackson walks into a bar?

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What's 2+2? Fish

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Why did the little boy drop his Icecream? Because I ran him over with my Bus!!

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What's heavy, black, and when hanging by a rope from a tree, makes white people happy? A tire, in any white football player's backyard.

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So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

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Q.) How do you fit a baby into a bowl? A.) With a blender! Q.) How do you get it out? A.) With Tostitos! -Sebastian and Chris (aka 100 and Zelot) (we did not make this joke, we just had to share it)

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Q: Santa Clause, the Tooth Fairy, and a rich mexican jump out of the plane at the same time. Who hit the ground first? A: The answer is none of the above, because they don't exist.

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A frog walked into a bar. Except by frog I meant Frenchman, and by bar I meant English pub. The Englishmen in the bar kill the Frenchman in a display of territoriality.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others don't.

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Why was the tree sad? Trees cannot think or move, and thus cannot feel emotions.

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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If you're having Kony problems, I feel bad for you son. He's stolen 99 kids and your posters saved none.

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Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

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-Why didn't a girl cry after she fell down with her bike? -Because a handlebar pinned her lung.

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how many scrubbers does it take to change a light bulb ? 2 , 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell piss

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what do you call a guy that has a mouth, but cannot speak? a poor freshman who has been commanded by a Senior not to speak.

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Knock knock Who's there This is the police, open the door. I don't know anybody by that name

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Q: What's wrong with the world today? A: Everything

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What is good about the holocaust? It is over

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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