Roses are Red Violets are Blue The end is near I want a beer

How can a chicken be dirty? It can be covered in dirt!

what did the apple say to the peer... I taste better !!

You know whats better than cold pizza? Winning a nobel prize.

How many freudians does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Two. One who unscrew the lightbulb and another who hold the penis....eehhh i mean ladder.

How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

What do you call a black man called Jermaine? Jermaine!

A deaf lion tried to kill a zebra. It succeeded.

Your mams so fat that she has aids... and i gave it to her

whats the similarities between an xbox and michael jackson? there both made of plastic and they both get turned on by children

I hate it when I press submit, and I forgot to finish the jo

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

What's the difference between an Asian bookkeeper and a Jewish dog? This isn't a joke, it's an assignment for school, I need to write a 3 page paper on this. Any ideas?

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Spilling Dr. Pepper on your carpet

Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sky diving? I don't know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance.

I dont hate you Lets just say if you were on fire and i had water id drink it

Q) What did the Irishman get for his birthday? A) Drunk

What do you call a midget mixed with a T. rex? Dinosaurs are dead and this is a highly un probable situation. Therefore, I do not know.

how many people with ADHD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes

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How do you get a child off a swing? Throw a fridge at him

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A rat scurries into a bar. Six days later, all of the people in that bar die of bubonic plague.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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