How do you kill zombie Jesus? You can't.

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The Game

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell down and bumped his head He suffered a serious concussion and was never the same again.

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Why was the boy embarassed at school? He got a noticable boner during class.

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A doctor walks into a bar, he stumbles backwards as he is taking his coat of, and the barman chuckles.

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What's spotted and has dildos strapped to their neck? Jews

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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A blond, a brunnet and a read head all fall off a cliif, wich one did not die They all died you idiots

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Why did the man go to the barber? To get a haircut

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whenever you come out of emma browns bedroom

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If TACOS are Mexican PASTA is Italian HAMBURGER is American Then what is pizza???..... Dough, Cheese and Sauce Just Kidding, that was bad..... Turtles..... :D

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? They were my friends.

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Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

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knock knock Who's there? The repo man Why? You're being evicted

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Why did the cow have a pain in his stomach. It has testicular cancer.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman crashed onto a desert island... The Englishman swiftly used his satellite phone to broadcast their location and they were taken home to their worried families.

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Why was a refrigerator sitting on a part bench? Because someone set it there.

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What do you call a black man in a Police car? A Police Officer

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Five Mexicans were driving down the motorway in a Ford. Must've been a Fiesta.

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3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks. Thumbs up if you get it.

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Knock Knock, Who's There? The The Who? YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!

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Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they are all dead.

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What did the farmer say when he couldnt find his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I've often heard that a room with a million monkeys with a million typewriters, given enough time; would eventually reproduce the complete works of Shakespeare. This seems to suggest that if something has an extremely low chance of happening, it will still eventually happen if enough attempts are made. However, I feel that the aforementioned scenario, given enough time to play out, would only result in a room full of dead monkeys. Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops