Two unemployed Irishmen are out looking for work when they pass a lumberyard. There's a sign outside that said "Tree Fellers Wanted". Sean turns to Patrick and says " What a curious way to write that sign. Surely the term is lumberjack?" "Yes," says Patrick "but what with the current economic situation here in Ireland, I say we get in there, apply for the jobs and hope that our lack of experience is overlooked." "Okay." Says Sean. "And let's not mention the whole sign thing." "No."

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Why couldn't the old man read the street sign? Because there were no words. Just an arrow designating a trun up ahead.

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Why did the Nazi not help the black man up after he had been badly injured? The Nazi was in a wheelchair.

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What do two siblings have in common? They both want the other to get hit by a bus.

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what is similar between a turtle losing its shell, and a man selling his chlothes and house? they are now both naked and homeless

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How do you not get disappointed at the ending for "Mass Effect 3"? Don't play the game, dumbass.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being in an abusive relationship.

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When The bus came by Jimmy went bye-bye

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Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? Perhaps he was doing a project on tree-life.

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a gay man got shot outside his house even though he was just checking the male get it checking the male

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Why did the little boy cry regularly? Because his father was sexually abusive.

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A mermaid found a magic lamp at the bottom of the ocean. She rubbed it and a cat with 9 lives came out so he didn't drown.

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What dog keeps the best time? All dogs will keep reasonably good time as far as their care is concerned, if they have a stable home routine.

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So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? Four because snakes have no legs.

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why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was a Women

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why did the woman cross the road? to get groceries for making more sandwiches.

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'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

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Wow, thats warming to the core Nero, you are really sweet when you want to, I was having a lot more than second thoughts, I mean I do not mind the thought of sex with you really and I mean that, but losing who I already consider my best friend would just be sad. So uh, sex once huh? I mean, one more feather on the uh, hat thing, is that what this is about to you?

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? You hit it in the face with an axe.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Black Person Eating Fried Chicken

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What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

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if a joke has not punch line, how does that strike you?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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