I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

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What is invisible and smells like carrots? Invisible carrots.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm sorry to say it but i hate you

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why does god like Justin Bieber? He can't god doesn't like the devil.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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What did the teacher say to the student? You failed science

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Why did the woman fall off her bike?? Because someone threw a fridge at her!!!!!!

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A player under the tag "KiTcHeNGuRLxGaMerZ143" got a message after finishing a map on call of duty. "lol ur good."

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What's the difference between a giraffe and an erection? An erection is much easier to obtain.

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A black man is escorted into a prison. He's the new warden, and he's been shown to his office.

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Have you ever seen Stevie Wonders house? I have it's actually really nice

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What starts with P and ends in ORN? Porn.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb none, because chickens do not have opposable thumbs,therefore prevents them from preforming such a remedial task.

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read this

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Two fish are in a tank. It is an average sized tank designed to hold aquatic animals.

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why did the little boy start to cry? because his parents didn't love him

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Three men were on a plane. One chucked an apple out the window. Unfortunately, due to the low pressure outside, all the men were sucked out the window.

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whats the hardest part about eating a vegitable getting your mouth around the wheelchair.

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what goes ha ha ha ..plop? We are all going to die.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? They may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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well use a tissue!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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