refridgrator

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it won't go to you anyways.

What did the cancer patient say after the little boy told him a funny joke? I'm dying

Why did the bus driver have a bad day? Someone threw a washing machine filled with radios but containing no soap at his bus. Then, a kid stapled a frog to his face. His wife died of terminal cancer.

Your mama's so fat that when she farted, gas came out!

shall i compare thee to a summers day, no, because thee are ugly, yay

Why did the chicken cross the road? Scholars maintain that the translations to the chickens journal were lost in a hurricane hundreds of years ago. Therefore, the chicken crossed the road for unknown reasons and died knowing it had a dull, pointless life.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.It is a very simple task for somebody who knows what to do.

Knock Knock Who's There Mailman Mailman who? Sir, I don't have time for this, take your mail.

Why was the muslim surprised? A tyrannosaurus rex bit off his legs.

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

Three decapitated children walk into a bar..... If you are laughing at this....what the hell is wrong with you?

-Wanna hear a joke? -Not really -Oh

Y2K

Whats funny about alexis? she's really a boy!

I went to visit my friend last week (not a guy, guys as friends? Thats just gay, I mean you fuck all of your friends right?) And she was really happy and stuff right? I mean REALLY happy, and the poor thing was depressed for like 8-9 months or something. So I was like: ARE YOU HIGH RIGHT NOW? >:( She said: YEAH I AM HIGH ON LIFE! I looked down at the ground, it contained a full box full of syringes and needles! So I grabbed the whole thing and threw them out! So then I learned what Insulin was anyways. Ps: Depressed, pregnant... Not sure anymore, it was like two weeks ago or something.

why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

ROMEO ROMEO WHEREFORE ART THOU ROMEO

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

jimmy carr walks into a tax office.

Why did Jesus cross the road? He didn't. He's dead.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

I what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I don't have 10 watermelons in my basement.

what's worse than 24? 6 million.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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