3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a blond in a library? A girl that likes to read.

thumb_up thumb_down +809

Knock Knock. Whose there? ..............

thumb_up thumb_down -6

whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A horse walks into the bar and says "why the long face?" The bartender replies "hey! I was supposed to say that!"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

my friend said this website was funny, you know what i said?.... its really not!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the atheist say to the jew. Well first they had a long discussion about religion and the jew was actually made an atheist. Truly the work of God.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is blue and has clouds in it? The sky.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Buy one packet of condoms for the price of two packets of condoms, and you will be given a second packet of condoms ABSOLUTLEY FREE!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do the Kardashians change a light bulb? They buy a new mansion

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate to laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

God is religiously proven to be real

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the family go to Mexico? Because they were deported

thumb_up thumb_down +49

whats 2+2? math.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Kelly Clarkson

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was the jew crying? He just found out his newborn baby had twenty minutes to live.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Knock knock *runs away laughing*

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock Knock? whos there? The man at the door then finds himself thinking what his last name is as he lately got amnesia

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Wat do you do when you see aomeone bleeding on the ground? Walk away and act like nothing happened

thumb_up thumb_down -165

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Me. May I come in?" "Yes, you may."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops