Why did the man buy a rope? Because he needed a noose

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How do you get a one armed polock out of a tree? You assess the situation and get a ladder the proper size to reach him, making sure the ladder is stable.

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Here's a little diddy I wrote for One Direction: Now One Direction, don't forget that we all know About the antics that you pull at your own live shows Like you take your own lyrics and give 'em a swerve Now they either make no sense or make you sound like pervs And Liam, why you swiping cameras and phones? What you need a girl's number cause you're crusin alone? And another thing, it's a frickin spoon for God's sake What did this thing impale your puppy with a giant frickin stake? And so One Direction, we now all think That in about a year, y'all are gonna go N*SYNC and disappear cause N*SYNC isn't around any...aw you know!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have condoms, But we didn't use them with you. You were DP'd, Now you have STD.

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What's the difference between a bird? Both legs are the same, especially the left one

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Communism

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What is the difference between 1000 dead babies and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

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How do you get a clown to get off a swingset? Chop off his arms and legs.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, now so do you.

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What is my cats favorite college? Harvard

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What happens when you step on Jupiter? You cannot.

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So lion bites off a mans foot. He bleeds to death.

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Alister Darling plucks his eyebrows.

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Why did the frog die? He had AIDS

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My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. (Submitted by Aidan)

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Why did the man not get his licence He was blind

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Doctor, people dont notice me anymore, doctor?... HEEEEEEEEEEEY!

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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What is the difference between baseball and the holocaust? One is a fun sporting event…. The other is baseball.

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your mama so fat she has a low self esteem

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The ULTIMATE Street Fighter shotokan safety guide one Turbo masters tournament X Revenge Kombat Super Ultimate Alpha Omega F*** Y** Edition! 1. I case an attack breaks both your legs, use your last remaining strength in order to kick the air with one leg, while keeping the other one straight down, then immediatedly yell MYLEGSARBROKEN! In order to receive medical attention. And please remember: If Hadou can, then you Sure can! 2. DLC ONLY 3 DLC ONLY 4. DLC Only. ...hayball rolls trough... 9001: DLC only

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She had no arms.

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What's worse than a needle in a hay stack? A needle in a stack of drug addicts.

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69

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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