If god gives you lemons You find a new god.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

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A Mexican man, an American man, and an Italian man go to a bridge. The mexican said "we have too much of this in our country!" and throws pasta into the water. The Mexican man says "we have to much of this in out country!" and throws a taco into the water. The American throws in the Mexican man and says "we have to much of these in our country!"

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A man was drowning in a lake and so he asked God to save him. A man on a boat came by and said to the drowning man "Do you need any help?" The drowning man said "Yes! Thank God a boat came for me!" So the man on the boat pulled the man from the water and saved him.

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Why wasn't the white guy voted for president? He had down syndrome

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roses are red violets are red the whole world is red i started the holocaust

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A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

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Roses are tits, Violets are tits, I love tits. Tits.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Two fish are in a tank. The first one says, "How the heck do I drive this thing!".

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God is real

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A pregnant woman goes to the hospital to deliver a baby. It is born perfectly normal and healthy, the doctor looks at the mother and father offering them congratulations as he hands them a 9 lb 10 oz baby boy. The mother wanted a girl, but she instead develops post part em depression. She goes through years of psychotherapy to again become well adjusted, her second child is a girl.

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What did the wife get her husband after they had intercourse? A sandwich, because she loved him and knew he was hungry.

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Boo Boo who? Ah don’t be sad, Boo’s here to cheer you up!

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How do you kill a blonde? lightsabre to the throat should do it

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a lady says, " i cant stand this." Th guy next to her had his legs blown off and will never be able to stand again.

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What did one retarded person say to another? asiuasdhfiusanklasndfkjlnknankjas

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If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

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A man walks into a bar. He is then rushed to the emergency room for severe blunt force trauma to the head and multiple cranial fractures. After years of mental therapy the man re-gains full cerebral capabilities and is extremely cautious to keep an eye out for potentially dangerous bars that present a threat to his fragile reconstructed skull.

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*Look Down* Nice shoes, wanna F@#k?

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What did the German say to the Jew? Sorry.

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Whats worse then finding a winning lottery ticket? Probably Everything

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What is a chair?

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What's the difference between The Hulk and The Thing? One is green.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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