how do you get a cat out of a tree? shoot it

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Yo mama so fat, she should see a doctor to discuss healthier lifestyles.

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What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children falling off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

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Jews

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What's the difference between a mexican and a park bench? One is a minority whose ancestors originally lived in the central american country of Mexico, the other is a useful convenience that provides a place to rest one's legs in a public place.

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What's better than a pile of dead babies? Anything.

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Oh, no! There is a ginger jew within 2 meters of me!

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Roses are red My name is Dave This makes no sense MICROWAVE

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What's brown, liquid and bad for your health in large doses? Did you guess: Coca Cola? Soda? Beer? Pepsi? Wrong. It's beer. Did this Anti-joke sound pretentious? Don't worry, you're not the only one.

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What's up? Up Adverb: Toward the sky or a higher position. Preposition: From a lower to a higher point on (something); upward along: "I climbed up a flight of steps". Adjective: Directed or moving toward a higher place or position: "the up escalator". Noun: A period of good fortune. Verb: Do something abruptly or boldly: "she upped and left him". Synonyms: adverb. upward - upwards - aloft - above - upstairs - overhead preposition. on - upon - over - along - with adjective. rising noun. ascent - rise - upgrade verb. raise - enhance - increase - lift - rise

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A dyslexic man sells his soul to Santa.

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What do you call a squirrel in my yard? Dead.

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What do you get if you cross a man and a horse? Severe internal bleeding.

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your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

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A young man walks into a bar. A complicated chain of events leads to him marrying the owner's second cousin's half-niece-in-law.

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Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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What do you call an giraffe? Well, you should probably call it a giraffe if you want people to think you are literate and know your grammar.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why did no one help him up? Because nobody liked him.

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That's what SHE said!

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What did the man do when the woman broke up with him? He changed his facebook status to single.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was tired of hearing that joke

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Q: What's the quickest way to a woman's heart? A: Through her ribcage.

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Why didn't the blonde go to the party? Her depression finally got the best of her and she shot herself

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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