What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man walks into a bar He is now in the emergency room suffering from deep lacerations to the forehead as well as a bloody nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the scarecrow win the nobel prize? Cos he was out standing in his field!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

They didn't stop pulling my hair i didn't stop pulling the trigger

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well I'll tell you. He was happily gliding down the sidewalk when he realized that his destination was across the road. He then proceeds to take In his surroundings . He finds that there is no indication telling him to stop so he then cautiously walks across the road watching for any dangerous movement. He safely makes it across and proceeds to his destination which is the slaughtering house. He is a retarded chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Where are the keys?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the little girl not allowed to see the pirate movie? It was sold out.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats better than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork. Whats better than catching a baby with a pitchfork? Eating it afterwords.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

People talk about how there grandparents was in the holocaust well my grandpa was to he died. How he fell off the guard tower.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why could'nt the Jew drink milk? He was laptose intolerant.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

whats the difference between a mexican and a fish? one is a human being while the other is a fish, what did you expect?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the blonde say when she tripped down the stairs? Nothing she was unconscious and had a serious concussion.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man loses his wife in a car accident He then fall into a deep depression then hangs himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man with a ski mask leaves a jewelry store He then goes back because he accidentally took the clerk's pen

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's silent but deadly? Limnic Eruption.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what's red and blue? your heart

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: It varies largely by hipster, the same way it does with any other person.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Chuck Norris is dead......

thumb_up thumb_down

A dyslexic walks into a bar. He called it a bra because he was dyslexic and dyslexics misspell things. People laughed at him because mental disabilities are inherently humorous to them.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Quantum Mechanics is so difficult to understand, somewhere Stephen Hawking just walked into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

If you are riding a horse, how many watermelons does it take to kill a giraffe? Platypus.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops