Penis

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A duck flew calmly through the air and landed softly on a beautiful lake, where he was then shot for trespassing.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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What did Lil Jimmi received at his birthday ? A red fire truck and he loved it

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What's big, black, and girls love to ride on? A horse

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There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

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how do you kill a rat skin it and feed it to your child and wait till it shits then when it shits feed it to your dog then when it shits then microwave it and shove the smelly liquid remains up your ass.

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Knock Knock. GO AWAY!

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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can people thumb up the evil dead statment below please... its important to me. (and the cup joke below) thanks people , ur great.

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What did the doctor say to the man on the nice day? You have cancer. How nice the day was is irrelevant

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Yo mama so ugly everybody died. The End.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swings? She had no arms... Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs... Why didn't anyone help her up? She had no friends... Why did she die? She landed in a puddle...

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What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

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why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black person on a bike? Its probably your bike.

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A B C D E F G.... Gummy bears are chasing me 1 is red, 1 is blue 1 is tryin to steal my shoe now i'm running for my life cuase the red 1 has a knife

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Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

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why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

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What did the girl say to the boy? You are a boy.

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What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

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What's green, yellow, and red? A traffic light

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What happened when the boy got caught with his hand in the cookie jar? He gets shot in the face by Santa.

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I am thinking of a number between 1 and 100 what is it There are many numbers between 1 and 100 so it is highly unlikely that I will guess the right number

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roses are red violets are blue i'm allergic to pollen achoo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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