why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Two men walked into a bar. The third man ducked.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a terrorist.

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Two elephants are walking down the street. They have already killed 12 people including 11 children and their foster parent.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

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Nickelback

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what does the monster eat after going to the dentist? the dentist

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the Mortgage company. You haven't payed your loans. The man loses his house and becomes homeless.

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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there are two kinds of people in this world: those who like anit jokes and those who don't

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How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

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a ginger named corey walks into a bad and gets pistol whipped after raping his classmate

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Whats the diffrence between a boy scout and a Jew? The boy scout comes back from camp.

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If i was a painting... Id hang myself

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Why is it not safe for turkeys to do maths? Because they don't have the mental capacity to carry out the calculations correctly, which would be a danger in jobs such as engineering or the space industry. Furthermore, they are unable to understand the concept of numbers or symbols and therefore have no motivation to solve mathematical problems; and even if they did, they don't have the dexterity or education to write out the solutions.

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Daniel is a fag

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What succeeds most of the time? The population of a field with grass.

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How do you make a dead baby float? Ice cream, root beer, and a dead baby.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are stupid. It most likely starved to death when it got stuck in a hole.

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what goes oom oom a cow walking backwards

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what's the difference between a duck? You can't wash a window with a brick.

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What's megan fox's bra size? Wait I got a fb notification brb!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Unfortunately there are billions of chickens in the world and based on the question it is not possible to determine which specific chicken is being referred to. Even if we were able to ascertain this knowledge it would be unlikely that we could determine its purpose, as chickens don't usually make decisions based on logical thought.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops