Why did the U.S.A. vote in a black president? Because racial prejudice is a thing of the past and the U.S.A. is a liberal and progressive nation.

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Is a tomato a vegetable? Depends if it is comatose.

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Why do women hate getting shot? They die.

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Your mom is such a slut that she has herpes.

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Why are you going to thumbs this joke up? Because I use the words "Chuck Norris" Thus making it impossible to not thumbs up.

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Knock knock Who's there Fookie Fookie Who? Fook you too

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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so a blind man walks into a bar, then a chair, then a table.

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Where did Susie go in the bombing? Nowhere. Susie is the bomber.

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Roses are red Violets are blue we're going to have sex because i'm stronger than you

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Recent US presidents (and their accompanying economy)

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"knock knock" "who's there" nobody answered cus it was a bunch of little shits playing knock a door run

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A fish swims up stream for his anual spawning season The fish dies from a heart attack because of the rigorous that took place.

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Is your refrigerator running? No. Oh perfect, I'm a refrigerator repairman, I'll be right over.

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You are gay, homo, stupid and a dick

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.

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A seal walks into a club, It proceeds to maul customers and then makes its way back to the ocean where it lives.

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Your mom is a whore bitchy virgin

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What did the mute child say to his parents for the first time? "My head hurts" Doctors later found he had hypertensitive heart disease and an aneurysm in his brain. He died later that month.

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Why did the Asian woman drive 20mph on the highway? There was a deadly car accident with many fatalities.

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Why did the boy scratch his back? A:because it was itchy.

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Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

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What do you do when a burglar breaks into your house and tries to kill and rape you and you family? Nothing, he as an AK-47 and shoots you all dead and then has sex with your corpses.

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i know you talk the talk but can you talk the talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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