Why did I have sex with your mom? Because she was a beautiful individual with a fine taste in the classical arts. She also offered me a ride to her place for a delicious 3 course meal. Afterwards our romance blossomed and we decided to have sexual intercourse to show our mutual appreciation for each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the doctor say to his patient? You have 2 weeks to live.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

I hate it when people dont finish there sen

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's worse than rotten eggs? Being dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the chicken cross the street? He wanted to make breakfast

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why didn't the boy come out of the closet? He had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A vegetarian walked into a butcher Luckily he realized where he was and walked out!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? He likes bungie jumping, and wanted to cheer himself up by doing one of his favorite hobbies

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Robert Mugabe.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

hey i just met you and this is crazy i have alzheimers hey i just met you

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the orphan say to his parents? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +20

hey! have you seen that clown at Walmart that hides from gay people?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How did Elmo get his show? Because the kids loved his furry ass and hoped to be on with dorthy

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a man with no home or family? Charles Manson…He currently resides in jail.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the alcoholic stumble into a bar? Because he was bleeding profusely and was desperately seeking a telephone to contact the nearest hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you kill a fish? You bite off its head.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what do you call a blonde with black hair? Artificial intelligence

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What's worse then forced to eat frog legs? Xbox one

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What doesn't kill you makes you injured

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A man reaches to grab a womans chest and then realizing hes gay, backs off and everyone goes home happy

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do people call the completely paralyzed man with no eyes? David, his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops