What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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this kid named terry stockton lives in craig beach ohio is gay

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knock knock whos there boo boo who? stop crying its only me! its not you, my mom has cancer, my dad was killed in a car accident, my pregnant wife has been murdered, and my uncle touches me.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Getting shot in the head

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Justin Bieber.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 1027

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What did the old man say to his grandson before he kicked the bucket?? "I wonder how far i can kick this bucket..."

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Why did the guy run out of the whorehouse? Because when she spread her legs it looked like she was pulling apart a grilled ham and cheese sandwich.

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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How did the asian find his family? He didn't because they all look the same.

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yaa tsi tsup ari dik ari dull an dik ari dill an dits tan dool la dippyduppy dull la roop uttyroopy la goorigan gook aya gittygangool arup cha cha adippydappydill la baritztandill lan den lan doe a barik kata barip pari baribadeebadeebadee standen lan doe ya baril las ten lan day a doe la babadeadevadevadevaduv ya vou what is that little las day lan doe badakadagadaga doo doo day a doe

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What do you call a window you can see throu? A window.

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What happened to the man who sat outside in the sun too long? He died of skin cancer.

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lets bomb africa

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There are 3 types of people in this world, those who can count to potato and those who can't.

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"Lassie, Lassie, come quick! Timmy is in the well!" "I'm a dog," replies Lassie. "You folks have ropes, ladders, and opposable thumbs. What the hell could I possibly do to help?" With that final act of disobedience, Lassie was turned into fertilizer.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender!

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Why wouldn't Michael J. Fox make a good Sniper? Because he has no military experience.

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I have to tell you something. What? I just told you something.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ow".

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new home? No. Neither has he....

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What happens when you run over a black man? It is most likely that he is killed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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