Penis-biter

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HAHA SO ONE TIME... The man could not finish his story because he gets shot, and is mourned for years. His daughter was watching it all. She then jumped. And fell. And broke her knee. And then died. yeah

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Why is McDonalds bad for you? Because their is so much fat in all its products, and contains many calories.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms or legs. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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A man walks into a bar, and says ouch.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was suicidal

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There was an Englishman, an Irishman and a chest of drawers. The Englishman put a flask of coffee in the top drawer without even looking. Diane hates wrestling.

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Q: What does a gay horse eat? A: Cheese

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Whatever his parents named him

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I hated hipsters before hating hipsters was mainstream. Does that make it sound like I have a fixed gear bicycle? Because I don't... I promise... What's a fixed gear bicycle, you ask? You mean you don't know???

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It is green and it is attached to a fence? Green paint

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What do homeless people get for Christmas? Nothing, they are homeless.

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Sex

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what do jason kidd and michael jackson have in common? they are both actually black

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride a bike Because Jimmy was a fish

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Obamacare!

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Q: What did the donkey say to the man? A: "Hello there, sir." it was later discovered the man was tripping on the hallucinogen LSD. Later on the man plummeted to his death after being convinced that he was a pterodactyl, and jumping off of a cliff.

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what did the teacher say to his student? do your work.

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What's 18 inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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Fuck off, seriously, if your name is Tifa, my name is bah, I got better things to do.

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A boy wakes up in the morning and says i"'m feeling kind of fishy today," the boy's dad walks in and relpies "that's because you are a fish."

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Are you from Africa because you sure look likes you've got Ebola

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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