Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

roses are gray violets are gray everything's gray I'm a #$%ing dog

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Where did the drunk Mother drive? Back to the Bar because she forgot her Baby.. Except she left it left it on the roof of the car...

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down -11

3 men find a genie lamp on the side of a road, The genie grants them each a wish as they surely deserve. The first man asks for a jet and the genie glady grants him this and the man starts to fly away. The second man says to make a wall around asia and the genie complies. The third man thinks for a minute and finally says fill it with water and as a genie the genie cannot refuse. They all drowned seeing how the jet had no fuel. The genie goes back to sleep and is picked up by an alien 5,000 years in the future, the Earth is destroyed in 7012(as if we didnt already destroy it). The genie survives and currently resides on uranus.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why couldn't the man play frisbee? he was a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock. Who's there? A little boy who can't reach the doorbell.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock CUM IN!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A nhiger walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand. "do you have any lemonade" the man said "no. we don't serve nhigers lemonade. but you can drink your own piss boy, thats home made.." the nhiger waddled away (waddle waddle) till the very next day. The nhiger walked up to the lemonade stand with a lawsuit file right in his hand and said "you are legally required to serve me lemonade" the man said "fu(k you nhiger go back to where you came go back to Africa it's full of aids" the nhiger said "goodbye".... i'm too lazy too finish this off so i'll spoil the ending, the nhiger was actually a smelly pakistanian, which was actually a dirty chi-nk in costume. let's just say lawsuits were filed but the lemonade stand owner had casey anthony's lawyer and in the end never had to serve fu-cking nhiger ,smelly pakies or dirty chin-ks again :) The End. Happily Ever After.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Micheal Jackson walks into a bar?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He removes the piece of lingerie from his face and continues shopping for clothes.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what do you throw at a mexican man when he is drowning? his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: Why is daddy wrestling mommy? A: Well Jimmy, that is called sexual intercourse. That is how you were created, and many people of all ages engage in this activity every second.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Guess what? I like trains.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red, violets are blue, purple is a color, I like grilled cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Two egyptian soccerclubs are playing, what's the score? Over 70 dead

thumb_up thumb_down +4

The sons of modern psychology: COCAINE MOTHERF8CKERS! COMING OUT IN YOUR CINEMA RENTAL STORE YESTERDAY! Sold out. (yesterday)

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How many are in a baker's dozen? 12 bakers

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the homosexual community have last night? A protest for gay rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Hollywood presents: In a world... Where darkness and crime is at every corner... The governments darkest secret... MUST... BE... UNLEASHED! Jack Kirby: So, with this technology I can swallow criminals and gain their abilities? But is there not a lot wrong with this? Hollywood: Meh... Sorry, we are gonna go with The Fast and The Furious 64: Mario Kart style.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops