What did the dog say to the mailman? Woof.

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home

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What does 2 + 2 equal? 4

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What do you call a black fire-fighter? A hero.

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A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment was left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

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what smells like diarrhea and looks like diarrhea? diarrhea stupid

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My math homework brings all the asians to the yard and their like it wasent that hard and their like it wasent that hard. comment what song it is like.

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A rabi a priest and a gay guy are praying. The rabi says amen the priest says amen the gay guy says ahh men.

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How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

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How to have a cheap party in just 5 steps: 1. Buy 100 McDonald's burgers and give everyone food poisoning 2. Bring out that black serial killer's mask you've been working on. 3. Bring out that sharp knife. 4. Slit everyone's throats. 5. Dance.

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how do you make a janeter cry, you shit on the floor

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Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

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Wayne Rooney's face and intelligence.

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights.

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Why did the little girl lose her necklace? Because she got her head blown off

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What did the mexican firefighter name his 2 children? Jose and Juan.

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Were you born yesterday? Because I've got an erection...

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

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A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

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whats better than nailing a baby to a wall? Ripping it off the wall.

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A group of teenage boys put a flaming bag of dog feces on Old Man Howard's doorstep. He came out and demanded that they stop such behavior at once. They did, and the day went on normally.

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what happens when u fall down the stairs? you break your arm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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