Q. How do you make time fly? A. It is highly impossible to make time fly for there is 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, and 60 seconds in a minute so therefore the time flows how it should and we do not have such power to do it even though many people claim they do when they know they really don't

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Why did the Police Officer pull over the black man? The black man was not following the rules of the road and accepted the ticket with great remorse. The Officer then proceed to pull over a white man for this very same offence.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Waterboarding.

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Wanna hear a joke? The WNBA

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Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

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What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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Why did the Football Coach go to the Bank?? To Cash his Paycheck.

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A man walks into a bar, he then proceeds to purchase his favorite alcoholic beverage.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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What did rangler get on anti joke? Thumbs down.

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Why did the little girl fall off her bike? Because she had leprosy and had to have her legs and arms amputated

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What's the difference between a wire fence and a wooden fence? You can't see through a wooden fence

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Why did lil' Jimmy fall off his bike? The weight ratio between the left and right sections of his body became uneven due to some sort of change in the traction of the tires to the bumps on the road/ path.

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What do you call it when a blonde jumps off the Empire State Building without a parachute? Suicide.

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just sit down and dont be a Jew

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How did the blonde get Lost in her house? Netflix.

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JAmie stegman loves making love with his sister... he loves inbreeds so much

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What did the deer say to the hunter? Deers are animals, they haven't yet evolved enough to talk..

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What d u tell Simba when he's moving to slow? Muvasa

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Q:What business did the black man break into? A: The business of show, because he was a talented actor.

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Friends are like penguins because when you throw a polar bear at them they die

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when there's trouble lurking in your neighbourhood, who you gonna call? The local authorities.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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