Thomas the Tank Engine could see Express up ahead on the tracks! His driver shut off steam and applied his brakes. Ahead of him Gordon groaned "Ohhhhh stop your train! Stop your train! His driver and fireman jumped out quickly. Thomas tried his very hardest and eventually found himself slowing down. But there wasn't enough time and Thomas smashed right into the express. Seven people were killed and Thomas himself was smashed to pieces.

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What's worse than dying? Dying poor.

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knock knock who's there? your mom your mom who? I'm sorry to tell your mom is dead :.(

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Person One: Three bears are eating tacos, seventeen bears are making margaritas, how many bears are going to the supermarket to get overly prices expired two percent milk? Person Two: ...Who gives a shit!!!!!!!!?!?!?!?!!!? Person One: No! That is incorrect!..................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................its 16

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Why is the child screaming? Because he just woke up from a bad dream.

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My grandfather died in a concentration camp. He fell off a guard tower and broke his neck.

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What do you call a joke with no punchline?

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw it after I chopped its' head off.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead get pulled over. The cop says "Yuck!" Then shoots the redhead because red hair is disgusting.

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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Q: what did humoure say to lie A: u must be tellin a lie

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knock knock. who is there ? nobody.you have no friends.

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We have come to the United States in search of a just, and profitable land, but we have found a place of bigots and racists.

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What's the difference between a bag full of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because eating raw chicken is just wrong.

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How do you kill a blonde? There are a variety of methods, but I prefer a fine mix of insecure clowns and pepto-bismol.

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Why did William commit suicide? Because his grandmother had recently died of terminal cancer. His mother left him on the front step when he was two, and moved to Tennessee with her baby daddy.

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice.

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What do you call a lazy good-for-nothing who can't succed at anything, steals your money, and who is unskilled in every way? A women

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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