how do you get a happy man to stop smiling? hit him in the face repeatedly untill he is dead.

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What did the asian boy's parents say when he came home with a report full of b-pluses? "You did well, but try harder next time."

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Your momma's so fat that when she goes to the beach, she feels self-conscious in front of all the other beach-goers.

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Q: Why did the officer stop the black SUV? A: Because it was going way over the speed limit.

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so one day i was getting my daughter artemisia ready for school and so i came in her room and got her pants and so i put it on and then i said did you grow during the summer really did you and then she said daddy both of my feet are stuck on one side of the leg

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What is blue and has wheels? Grass- I lied about the colour and the wheels.

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What's the difference between my car and a pile of dead babies? You can't eat my car.

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Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

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When is a Jew the sleepiest? Depends on the time really... some people sleep and wake up on different biological calendars.

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mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

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What happens when you throw a blue rock into red water? It gets wet...

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Steve Jobs.

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Why is it interesting to watch your mum shower? It's Not, its sick you pervert

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whats really hot the sun

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how do you kill a bear. -you shoot it.

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There was a black guy and a blonde crossing the street. They are not related.

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Why was the black man crying? Becasue his wife and children were killed in a horrific car accident on their way home from church.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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I wish I Charlie Sheen's Dealer.

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Trouble with the trolley, eh? No

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What's black and white and red all over. An interracial suicide pact.

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What did the pie say to the other pie? "I'm hungry" So he ate the other pie.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trash can? 12- 18 (depending on size) I know this because i use to work at a abortion clinic

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Why was the Jamaican man smoking pot? His doctor prescribed it. The man has a serious case of glaucoma.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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