Yo mama has had so many kidney stones she has to be on a water diet.

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Why did dan jump off of the empire state building? -Because Carl pushed him off.

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Why was Joe afraid of Steve? Because Steve raped and killed all of Joe's three children two weeks ago.

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Why did the car fall of the cliff? The dude driving the car was driving recklessly.

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Why does Snoop Dogg have an umberella? For shielding himself from the rain.

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Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

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A blonde walks into a bar. She is rushed to the hospital and treated for a broken nose and a busted lip. She now has a deformed nose.

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What's black and white and red all over? The Nazi Flag in WW II

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a man walks into a desert Obama is there to greet him and they have a nice chicken dinner

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Come in.

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Why are white people white? I don't know

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Q: What did Hitler say to the Rabbi? A: I don't like you.

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Timmy: "Dear Santa, why don't you ever come to my house?" Santa: "Because you don't have parents, Timmy" THE END

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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what happend when the magic man touched fire? He got burnt screamed in my ear and died.

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wheres a place a cancer patient cant go? the hairdressers

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 397, IF you have a big tounge

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whats is big, black, and has big boobs. a big black guy. the boob part was a little white lie

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Why did the garbage man cross the road? He was doing his job.

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why did hellen kellers dog run away? because if your name was awughunguh you'd run too.

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Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

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why should not women able to vote? because their stupid and should not vote at all

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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