A Muslim, a Jew and a Christian are on an airplane talking about religion. The Jew tells the Christian he believes in a single holy entity. The Christian says he believe Christ is the Son of that very same entity. The Muslim says "When can I get out of this room?" because he's been detained at the airport due to religious profiling.

An Irish man willingly walks out of a bar

What is a vampire's favourite dessert? Vampires aren't real.

You want to hear a joke? Republican

What do call a limbless man swimming? Dead.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenia, and don't have any friends

Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? At the bottom.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Boom! Splat! You'll never know.

Two kiwis are in a fridge. Suddenly, the door opens, and one of them is pulled out by a human hand. He was never to be seen again.

Why did the man smell like french toast? His wife previously made him a plate of it that he ate before walking out of the house.

What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

what goes oom oom a cow walking backwards

I asked the librarian for a book on suicide. She said "I'm sorry we don't have those in stock." So I just hung myself.

why was six afraid of seven? because seven murdered sixes wife and kids and said he was next.

Why did the leper go back into the shower? he missed a spot.

A Christian asks God why there is so much pain and suffering in the world. God does not answer.

Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Being caught by the store manager, arrested, convicted, and thrown into jail for petty theft and then getting ass-raped for the next 3 months all because you wanted to check an apple without paying for it.

What does an Eagle and a Mole have in common? They both live underground. Apart from the Eagle.

how do you finish a 30000 piece puzzle you search for cheat codes

How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

Q. Whats the diffrence between a squirl and a chipmunk? A. A squirl has a squirl mom and a squirl dad while a chipmunk has a chipmunk mom and a chipmunk dad.

What does the funeral director say at a jewish funeral? Ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes...

2 muffins are in a oven for 30 minutes, the baker then questions why he only baked 2 muffins.

Roses are red Violets are Blue Let's just screw

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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