A girl walks into a supermarket. She picks up a banana, a can of soup, and a loaf of bread. She then walks up to the cash register to pay. The cashier looks at her and the items she has and says, "I can tell you're single." She smiles and responds, "How do you know that?" He says, "Because you're ugly."

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

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What did the dog say to the cat? "Bark."

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Q: What did Helen Keller say to the bartender? A: "I would like a bud lite please" it was a different Helen Kellar

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what do you call and man that has a twitch every time someone say tissue broken arm, leg, hand, collar bone and there iphone? A mentally and physically demented man that needs serious help from a psychotherapist otherwise matter would get increasingly worse

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered 6 offender. And there was nothing funny about that.

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A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

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Knock, knock. Come in!

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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Why did Martin go to school with no pants on? Because he had no legs.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? He was on his way home from work and saw some youths loitering on the street corner and thought it best to avoid them and therefore any possible confrontation. He would also appreciate it if you would call him something along the lines of Bravery impaired instead of a chicken as he finds it offensive and doesn't fully understand the avian reference to his lack of confidence.

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Why was the little boy sad? Both of his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It's abusive father punted it.

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What's good about sex with twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Your as much use as Anne Frank's drum kit.

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wanna hear a dirty joke? ...trashcan

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Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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Why was the guy stupid? 'Cause he was!

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What do you get when you combine a potato and an apple? A nice Apple Potato Souffle...

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Knock-knock. There is no reply. The burglar makes sure no one is home and breaks into a side window. After stealing some precious jewelry and family valuables, he exits through the same window.

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A walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Not getting a response, the disoriented bartender realizes he was talking to his own reflection in the mirror at the back of the bar.

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How did the girl get hit by a car? Better question, How did the car get in the kitchen?

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When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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