what do you order when it's a sunday in nyc during a solar eclipse on a leap year past 12:00 pm? what ever you like

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What do you tell the woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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What did Stephen Hawking say about Stephen Hawking Anti-jokes? "They're stupid".

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The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

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Why did Superman cross the road? I dunno.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? Well its wing were clipped so it couldnt fly across the road.

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How do you drown a blond? Hold her head under water until she finally stops thrashing around.

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roses are blue, violets are red, im colorblind

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what do you call dominic rolling down a hill?

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This guy went to the store because he needed potatoes. So he asked the clerk where the potatoes were at and she said "Isle fiveeeeeee!" So he went there and there were no potatoes ! hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahajhahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahhahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahahhahaahhahahahahahahaahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhaahhahaahahahahahhhhahha

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whats worse than your brother dying in a car accident? finding out the rest of your family was in there

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A man walks into a bar. He is promptly taken to the hospital where he finds out that he may have a concussion.

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A squirrel is about to steal the eggs of a sparrow when the sparrow suddenly says, "Stop! I will do anything if you would spare my eggs!" The squirrel has no capacity to reason and so steals the eggs anyway. The sparrow is devastated.

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Why did the man eat his cellphone? Because he has a serious mental disability, and did not know that it was not a normal thing to do, and for anybody to laugh at him for doing something like this is just a sick person.

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Why can't Hellen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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Q: How did the blonde girl get into Harvard? A: hard work, dedication, and a perfect SAT score.

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woman's lacrosse

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what did the tomato say when he was cut open? nothing, because vegetables are unable to speak

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give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

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Roses are red, Potatoes are yellow, ERMAHHHGERDDD PERRDERRRDERRR

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Man 1: Your lifes a joke Man 2: Your talking to yourself Man 1 klled himself Man 2 had cancer

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What did the Pope say to the old homeless man who asked him for a blessing? Hahaha, no I won't give you a blessing

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A man was late for work, he came to a stop for his third red light. He stopped and waited for the red light to turn green then continued on his way to work.

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Why did the black man drop his weed Because he got shot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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