there are 2 muffins in an oven they are cooked nicely and served as a tasty dessert

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Someone offers your friend one of two things he say's "choose witch one you want" your friends asks you and you say "if i were you, i'd be ugly"

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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Why is the Asian 2nd grader sad? Her best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer. She has 3 weeks to live.

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A black man walks into a Ku Klux Klan meeting.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much as it is capable of. Personally depends on the weight of the wood.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because SEVEN-FIVE!!!

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, the mystery is how mice can get inside a lightbulb.

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AND

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Q: What do African Americans and Doorknobs have in common? A: Before the Emancipation Proclamation was passed, neither was free. Doorknobs still aren't free.

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Why did I get thumbs up from everyone? Answer: Because they like my anti-joke.

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A black man, an asian man, and white man walk into a bar. Not that out of the ordinary since America is a melting pot.

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What was the blind man's favorite game? Marco Polo

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What did the doctor say to the man with cancer? You have cancer.

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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What's 9+10 20+1-1-1+2-1-1+1-2+1

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How does a black woman know she is pregnant? When she pulls her tampon out the cotton is already picked.

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Why was lady crying? Because her ten yer old son died of cancer..

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a boy walked into a pet store to get his bird some food. they were all out. the bird died.

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Jesus was a good guy

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What is worse then not being able to drink your vodka right away A black guy drinking for you

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last night i was doing some guy in the ass. i went to give him a reach around and the homo had a boner! freakin queer.

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Q: Why did the man have no legs? A: He lost them when his humvee hit a roadside bomb during his last tour in Iraq.

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A panda walks into a bar... Psht. Panda in a bar, that's impossible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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