Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee! It's not the coffee, you have a deadly case of ocular melanoma, a form of cancer that affects the eye. You'll be blind within the next 24 hours.

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Q: Why does my arm itch? A: I got bit on the arm by a mosquito

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Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Hello? Prankster: Hello is your regrigerator running? Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Yes... Prankster: Oh good. I was just calling to make sure. Have a good day!

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Why cant madeleine mccann play ps3? ive only got an xbox

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A buddhist,islamist and a prohibitionist walk into a bar.

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What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? While Beethoven enjoyed many different varieties of fruit, he found strawberries the most appealing.

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What would Michael Jackson do if he were in a room full of kids? Nothing, he's dead.

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Knock knock whose there nobody you have no friends remember

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why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

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what would you get if you combined a sixth grader with a machine gun? A homophobe

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Knock Knock whose there? child abuse...

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Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

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T-Dog scare me

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BIble verses: (secret bible code breaker edition) 90.01: Might thy level of power rise above the scouter of Vegebles 3.14: Thy shall make use of pee 6:9 Oral interaction is good for thee. 9:6: Peter said, lordeth this is no good, then the lordet said, try 6:9 and all was good. 6.66 Calleth upon this number on thy cell to speak with the beast. 9:11 This number shall aid you when in danger if thy have a cell, but not against the fallen by and Al Caida. 8:00 Call upon thy cellphone at no cost. 5.99 Thy use of plays of station three, areth too expensive... Whoops! Amen and RIIIIIIIIIIDGE RACER! 50:50 Thy shall share equally. 6:19: Thy shall use thy wrestling moves well. 20:00 Thy shall noth uset this windows version as it sucketh.' 88:88 Thy shall create four equal snowmen for me. 12.34 Read this and thy shall learn to count til four. 7:77 The number of the luck. X:B0X: It sucketh hard. 3:60 it sucketh far more than the original 9:99 Is the number to defeateth the beast while he is resting upside down 0:13 "and samuel said, but oh lord, I am a teen now!" And the lord agreed and all was good. Ok, I got to decode my bible further, yes indeed!

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How do you kill a jew? In a variety of destructive manners that are illegal and I would hope you would decide against.

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Knock, Knock Who's There? (Silence) Wondering who was there, the man opened the door, to find a baby in a basket in front of him.

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Whats the difference between andreas and a dog? the dog has a tail.

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A man saw a dinosaur yesterday. He had a very nice time at the museum.

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What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's being held hostage against her will.

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What does it smell like, what does it feel like, do you like it? Yes

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Q: How do you fit two beluga whales into a mini van? A: You don't.

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Why did Madelyn leave the space next ot the computer? Because her hat got tooken from her.

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Guess what my dog can do? Bark.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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