as i unscrewed my belly button and suddenly my butt fell off

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Who ate the cookies? Your face. Litterally.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I'm tired.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Extra extra read all about it dunkin donuts has now been named dunkin pigs..a cops favorite hang out.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A black man, an asian man, and a gay man walk into a bar. What do they do? They mourn the loss of their dead friend.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What three letters alter boys into men and girls into women? The letter containing their bank card, the letter containing their national insurance card and the letter accepting them into a job or higher education placement.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A horse walks into a bar, it is then frightened and bucks a man in the chest. Animal control and an ambulance are promptly called. The horse is then taken to a stable, while the man is taken to the hospital where he later made a full recovery.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what do u call a black men standing on top of a church. holy shit

thumb_up thumb_down -25

MRLSIXBWBSOVODKSHAIFKQJXIGJNRMWKSJDIVIVKEBWBEBKGKBODJWBEBJRRKFOBPBPDJWVECTNYLLNNIFUDJEBWKSOXOVOFJSBSBDKCKFKTKEBEJDLDOFIDKDJDHDBENSMSKSKSKSKSJDJDJSNRNTNTKDPQPWJSHCHCJDNEBBSJSKC

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the little kid sad at a funeral. He was actually happy and he was at six flags

thumb_up thumb_down +29

The original "Chicken cross road" joke is a Anti joke in itself.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did one volcano say to the other? Nothing. Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the black guy cross the road? His car was parked across the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

knock knock who's there? a murder who? a murder who kills you and your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

I STUCK MY TESTICLE IN A BLENDER!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Uh, Liz, he is staring at the screen... He says you are right and knows, so he cant get mad, ill trust you both, but it better work, or this one is on me. Oh by the way, yeah he is eating, sorry its late here, and I am the only nurse here about now Ironically this place is full of doctors but they dont seem to give a crap about the man that pays their checks. Doctors said no, Nero said "you are fired" Doctor changes his opinion, glad to see he is taking charge around here, I am just worried about his sleep, he is beginning to halucinate and I doubt any stimulants will help. But fine, ill trust you, sorry, really shaking my boots here, I really do not want to, but this is not about me.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting constantly tortured for hours non-stop by getting your eyebrows plucked out one by one and getting your teeth pulled out and getting your arms cut open by a razor and getting your nose twisted off and getting your nipples ripped off by a pair of pliers and getting your toenails scraped off by a knife and getting a needle shoved into your eyes and getting a sword stuffed up your arse and getting your penis split in two like a hotdog and getting your balls smashed up by a sledgehammer so the sperm inside goes everywhere. I think that would be worse than dropping a dollar down the drain.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What dud the baseball player do when he struck out? Walked back to the bench

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: what did the poor, blind, deaf, orphan girl get for Christmas? A: cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the eighty year old man climb into a fridge? Because he wanted to.

thumb_up thumb_down +120

Why did the man not make any change at his job? Because he is Barack Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? Their ancestral heritage

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops