How to you confuse an Alzheimer's patient? Present her with a complicated nuclear physics problem.

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, its probably a turtle.

A person from Singapore eats

Women's rights.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because it felt like it, now mind your own business!

Q: What do you call a man driving a van with a bunch of stuff in the back that doesn't belong to him? A: A delivery man

Women's rights.

Why did Steven Hawkins die? he got a virus

your life

Q) A Christian, slightly disabled but perfectly capable man has a packet of Jaffa Cakes. He strolls casually toward the edge of a cliff, rapidly checking his watch. The man slowly examins the packet before gradually opening the packaging. First the box, then the packet. He quickly throws the jaffa cakes over the edge of the cliff, Why? A) The man doesnt like jaffa cakes

Why did the mailman say hi to you? He was trying to be friendly

if my evil next door neighbor is building a rocket to steal the moon with the help of 3 little girls, a grumpy old man and about 5000 small yellow poeple; what do i do? get sued for coping a copyrighted movie plot

Knock Knock. Who's there? Come in! Come in who? I'm just com in' inside.

why couldn't the girl make her bed? she is homeless.

What happens after you go to school? (you tell me, i'm only in 6th grade)

Knock Knock Nobody answered because the people in the house were away.

What do you call a sober man driving a car? a designated driver

A black guy and a white guy walk into a bar, they were both unemployed and blowing their savings on their alcohol addictions

Q: Why didn't Dwight D. Eisenhower play with the silly putty? A: Because he's dead.

How did the idiot die? He comitted suicide because people were picking on his stupidity. (If you laughed at this you are a horrible person)

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex afender

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not to a blind guy.

Whos the best Jewish Cook? Hitler.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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