Yesterday I saw a blind man walking down the street, I asked if he needed help and he said "I'm fine thanks." Later on I saw a deaf man walking down the street and asked if he needed help. He didn't hear me, he then fell off the curb and was hit by a car.

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If your Jewish, then don't go to Germany.

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Im sorry Dylan Hodge Jamie Stegman

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A black guy and a white guy are walking down the sidewalk. As it suddenly begins to rain, what does the white guy say to the black guy? Nothing. They did not know each other.

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Your social life.

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Q: What did the architect say after he tripped? A: My mother died of cancer when I was 6.

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Why are there no casinos in Africa? Because of the exceptionally high poverty rate.

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Q: What did the man say before he was stabbed? A: "What are you gonna do, stab me?"

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Two olives are sitting on a table. One loses his balance and rolls off. The other calls down to it, "Oh my gosh, are you okay?" And the olive yells up, "No. I just rolled off a friggin table."

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Hey, did you guys hear what happened the Steve Jobs? He died.

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if i have 2 bananas, and you have 2 bananas, then together we have 4 bananas what are the chances?

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WHERE WAS THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENTENTS AT THE BOTTEM!!!

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? lts of stuff like murder, rape, slavery, poverty, mindcontrol, mass genocide, the holocaust, racism, plagarism, physichal assault, war, terrorism, massacres, onsloughts, necrophillia, the dead rising, zombies, jokes on antijokes.com, awkward situations, dieing, cancer, ADHD, other mental illnesses, paint, the grim reaper, shinigami, stereotyping foreigners, prejudicism, bullying, armed robbery, hacking, viruses, incest, feral animals, getting lost in the forest, arsonry, pyromania, passing out in a bar, meeting a serial killer, and finding 2 worms in your apple.

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A one armed blond is in a tree, how to you get her to come down? You wave to her?

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what do u call a 50 yr old man at disneyland a rapist

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A construction worker walks into a bar. Lucky he was wearing his hard hat.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Europe Europe who? No, I'm not, you're a poo!

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What do you call 4 black men in a BMW? Successful Businessmen.

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Women's rights.

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What did the duck say to the flag? NOTHING DUCKS CANT SPEAK or flags

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

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Rose: Mummy, why did you name me Rose? Mother: Because a rose fell on your head when you were a baby Daisy: Mummy, why did you name me Daisy? Mother: Because a daisy fell on you when you were a baby Fridge: durr hurr Mother: Shut up, Fridge

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Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The chicken

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Roses are cars, violets are rude, this poem makes no sense, neither do you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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