A blind man walks in a bar I mean like a metal bar But it didn't hurt He only laught

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roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

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How old are you? 20

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Little kid asks his mom: "Why do zombies eat people?" His mom says: "Becasue honey, your MEAT"

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PerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerú

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Omg you bought a Prius? Children in Africa are starving and could have used that money to buy food.

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DAAAAAAAAMN! I AM BEHIND THE SQUARE WHEEL AGAIN! AND THAT SHIT IS POINTY! PRETENDING TO CARE IS SUCH A HASSLE! Anyway, I hope you know I was joking (otherwise you would totally be,not as smart as I thought) but yeah lets see, I am the fourth most pointless MAN, after "The square wheel", "My wife" (:)) I guess some guy just married the wrong wife huh?) And the the fucking wheel is a billion times more manly than Justin Bible or whatever you called that... Thing, and that wheel is made from a female tree! What? HAVE THE LAST COMMENT? I DO NOT GET HAVE! I GET TAKE BY FORCE! Well as far as comments and go, and sex of course.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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Q Why was the boy sad A he wasnt sad he was dead and therefore had no emotional feelings

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Why did the woman spend all her time in the kitchen? For fear of her abusive husband.

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Why was Little Timmy crying ? He dropped his ice cream. Why did he drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus. Knock-Knock! Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

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Q: What did the Rapist say to the Little girl before they got in to the Van? A: Get In the Van

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Run Quick, Before I Rape you!!!

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Roses are red, violetes are blue, Your monkey sucks.

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What's the difference between humans and dogs? 4.

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My heart is in my hands. Call an ambulance.

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What do you call a black kid on a bike? Dirt bike

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Hey, I'm Schrödinger, and this is crazy! But here's a sealed box... the cat lives, maybe...

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Why was the teenage girl bleeding from her vagina? Because I had shot her in her vagina with my gun earlier that day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, ask the chicken.

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How do you milk a cow? Pull on its' utters.

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What is the saddest thing in a porno? He doesn't really love her.

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what do you call a 2-foot blue scottishman named max? max

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what do you call a black man on tv? an actor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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