What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

Knock Knock. Who's there? Paris. Paris who? Paris, France.

how do u make a baby cry? you shouldnt. Stop thinking of ways to make a kid cry... asshole.

Why did the chicken cross the road. He didn't, this joke gets old really fast

What happens when a scientist tells you a lie? It's not true.

Then lets give this another shot, this time we stop questioning how to make others happy, and if that is what makes us happy, then we ask: What else.

tom hall

what do you call 3 black men in a line up? their names

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell down and bumped his head He suffered a serious concussion and was never the same again.

Do you want to hear a joke? Sure. Justin Bieber is straight.

Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

Why didn't Jimmy's mum come to the school play? She had a heart attack

Bala: Brid why don't you drink? Brid: When I was in college I was in students council. Whenever my friends called me during night, I used to go pick them up. Once we were working late in college and in the morning my hair was all ruined...

If Oscar Meyer had a dog what kind of dog would it be? A Wiener Dog!!

Gregory: Hey, aren't you that pretty girl I saw from the party? Jenny: Huh? Gregory: No wait, it can't be you. Because you are WAY prettier. Jenny: Aw, that's so sweet, lemme give you my phone number. Gregory: Okay I'm ready to copy Jenny: It's 1-800-get-a-life-loser Gregory: Biitch

are you from tennesse? cuase you sure look like a f u c k e d up redneck

How can you tell if a joke is skept? Tell it to raysean and see if he laughs

What do you get when you cross a moose with a crépe? A moose with a crépe up his nose. -ilikecrepes97

What do you call a man in front of three trains that have explosives tied to them and that are making amazingly loud noises? An idiot who obviously can't identify danger and probably had a childhood injury that cause his life to be ruined forever most likely cause by an evil uncle.

What Does Alex J Simpsons Face have in Common with his hand? Spaghetti

I'm shy. The last shitbender. How do you fit babies in that bowl? Get a blender.

What starts with "m" and rhymes with monkey? Platypus

What did the camera man say when the actor took off his pants? Why did you take off your pants?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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