What's red and has zippers? Nothing, because watermelons can't physically drive without the help of a sheeps spinal cords ... DUH

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A legless and armless woman is laying on the beach. A man walks by and hears her crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been kissed before" says the woman. So the man leans down and kisses her. The next day the man sees the woman crying at the beach again. "What's wrong this time?" asks the man. "I've never been hugged before" So the man picks up the legless and armless woman and gives her a big hug. The next day the man sees the woman still on the beach crying. "Okay now what's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been f---ked before" says the woman. So the man picks up the woman, and has sex with her. They end up going on several dates later on and getting married at sunset on the very beach where they met.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's worse then Justin Bieber? 9-11

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why is Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven is a horrible pedophile and has deeply seeded emotional problems

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? The grass was getting to high and needed to be trimmed.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

All these jokes are very entertaining, but if you look closely, Lebron clearly travels. Wheres the call ref what the hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the baseball coach say to his son? Nothing. He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 had a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

When life throws you lemons, duck because they freakin' hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

someone says they've been "dying laughing"... no they haven't; they're quite capable of still breathing and functioning in every day life.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: What were Peter's emotions after he bought his $2 million house? A: None, in fact he has no home, family and anyone to help him. his leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms why did no one pick her up? she was an orphan why did she drown? puddle...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What rhymes with milk...milf

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many elbows does a Jew have? 2

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q. What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree A. A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A black woman and a white woman are in a bar. They don't talk to each other though because they don't know each other. THE END.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call putting a vehicle on the side of the road? Parking.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

"Imagine a World Without Free Knowledge" -I'm not imagining, thanks Wikipedia!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the broom say to the vacuum cleaner? "Your mom sucks."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What happens when Chuck Norris jumps in the air? He lands.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: What were Peter's emotions after he bought his $2 million house? A: None, in fact he has no home, family and anyone to help him. his leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops