Knock knock. Who's there? Sorry, wrong number.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Q: What happens when the Hydro goes out? A: The Hydro goes out.

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A man walks into a bar.. and has a bomb strapped to his chest

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like for a handjob.

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Why do women get pregnant? Beacuse it hurts and they deserve it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

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Im Jackson Sinclair and Me and Carter Weeks-69;)

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Ok, so, a big moose walks into a store and he looks around for potatoes but he cant find any. So he asked a worker, "do you know where the potatoes are?" and she says, "the potatoes are in aisle 3." So the moose goes to aisle 3 and there aren't any potatoes!

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Everyone in the bar is very happy for him considering he has regained the ability to walk

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where are the maternaty clothing in walmart???? The C section

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what has two legs and is red all over? half a cat

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You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

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Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings? A: An elephant between two buildings, and the question of how the elephant got there

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Send creepy emails to this email address: matt.harrington@highlandcatholic.org

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What is ET short for? Extra terrestrial

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What's brown and sticky? "A stick?" No, poo.

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How do you call leprechaun with leprosy? Sick.

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What is green, brown, has four legs and would kill you if it fell on you from out of a tree? A pool table

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What does the orphan say to its parents? nothing, orphans dont have parents

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why didn't the bully beat up the nerds? His mom got arrested for molestation and his dad got sent to Afganistan so he was too depressed to beat them up.

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Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

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Why was the boy dad? Because he was taken advantage of by an older woman during ovulation and impregnated her.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes And now so do you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops