What does A.D.D stand for? Attention deficit disorder

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Chuck Norris walks into a bank. There is a long line to get to the teller. Chuck Norris waits patiently in line.

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What did the chickens say to the other chicken Go away mother clucker

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Patient: I thonk I'm gonna die Doctor: well will ya hurry up and die already? I've got to treat a kid with a paper cut.

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Q: Did you hear about the fire at the circus? A: It was in tents!

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was in a chicken pen.

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What's long hard and full of seamen? A boat, or possibly a submarine.

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What happens to the blond when she reaches the top of the stairs She falls down them

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What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

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Why did Johnny fall off of the swing? The swing was defective. Knock, knock. Who's there? Johnny's lawyer.

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Where do babies come from? My sex dungeon

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Why was the women not in the kitchen? Because she was probably doing something else

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Tic tac toe. I never met my father

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How do you make a fake baby cry -Put batteries in it. How do you make a real baby cry? -Put batteries in it.

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what's red and fluffy ... red fluff

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really desperate to get laid guy gives out phone number in random places 5802352343 :D

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Never-mind that, you've got AIDS.

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What do you get when you mix a black person with an octopus? i dont know. but it sure picks cotton well.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Dead.

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Why was the boy sad? His friend stabbed him with a fork. Also, his mother died. Also, his dad raped him Also, he has a chode. And it really sucks when you have a chode.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate you, Go die in a hole.

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What did the black man say to the white man when the white man was drunk and naked on the roof dancing? Quit fucking around Brad and get off my roof or I'm calling the police because this is the third time this month.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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