Why was the man whistling? He was calling his friend.

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Q. How many babies does it take to paint a room? A. Depends on how hard you throw them.

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knock knock? who's there? ted? ted who? stop f***ing around, you got cancer.

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Did you hear about the guy who lost his arm and leg in a car crash? Well, he just died in hospital. RIP.

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Guess what? AIDS!

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Why did the deer hunter shoot a deer? He told his wife he bought a new TV.

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face. Why was the little girl sad? Because it was her frog.

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Your mom is so fat that she has to wear large clothing.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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An Irishman, Scotsman and Englishman were jumping into well because they were told whatever they shouted when they fell they landed on. I lied and they died, hehe

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rocky is staring at us from outside...

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Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

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My therapist says that I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that!

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Why was it really gross when the blonde dove into the swimming pool? Because the swimming pool was full of phlegm!

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What city likes baseball the most? New York

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Why was sally mopping the floor? Because she was a slave

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When life gives you lemons. Don't take things from strangers

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Q: What's the difference between a grasshopper and pencil? A: Lots

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How do you change your dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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What's comfy and easy to wear? Shorts.

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A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

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Why is Eeyore in Winnie the Pooh always sad? Cause he has a nail in his anus

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was black

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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