Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

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In Opposites Land, you might think the opposite of small is big. But no, it's nail clippers.

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Why did Steve put his trumpet in the fridge? He had begun the early stages of dementia and was becoming increasingly confused and detached from reality. Also he was German.

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Why did the the black man die? Because he had an incurable disease.

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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, your wife and kids die.

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zx

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Suppose an American, an Indian, a dinosaur, and a leprechaun are on a plane together. Which one would be the first to chug a 7 pound bottle of coke? The situation is too unlikely, with the odds of it occurring being less than 1%, therefore the question cannot be answered accurately.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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What did the black man say to the other black man. We're both niggas.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

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- Knock, knock. - Who's there? - Immigration.

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I believe if Floyd Mayweather fought Muhammad Ali I believe it would be a close fight but Floyd would win. Because Ali has Parkinson's

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roses are red violets are blue im a paki and you are a jew!

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

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What's big fat and ugly? A monster

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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Why couldnt Helen Keller drive? Because She was Blind you sexist asshole

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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whats worse than not getting what you want for christmas? a child melester

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connor sucks

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Why did Jack and Jill fall down the hill? Because they were donuts

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why was the kid named owen? Because thats what his parents wnted him to be named

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Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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