why'd my house get destroyed I was afraid the tornado that hit mass was going to destroy it so I blew it up

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She look like Ms. Universe and I'm bout to be in that black hole

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A Polish man is walking down the street carrying a brown paper bag. He runs into one of his buddies, who asks, "Hey! What's in the bag?" The man tells his friend that he has some fish in the bag. His friend says, "Well, I'll make you a bet. If I can guess how many fish you have in the bag, you'll have to give me one." The man replies, "I'm sorry, my friend, but gambling is against my morals, especially when my family's only nutrition for the week is on the line."

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Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

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What kind of drugs should you take when you are too stressed? Fabulous secret magic drugs, makes all your problems go away... TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! Warning: When you take drugs, you are taking a very big DRUG.

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Whats worse than one jew. Ben rike

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KKK, got any blacks?

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Why did Jim laugh so hard? Triangle!

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Sometimes while i am play my music loudly in my apartment my neighbor knocks on the wall He is slowly losing his grip on reality and believes the wall is a door

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What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys. The owner of a basketball team

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Why couldn't Lucy get her driver's license? Because she has Cerebral Palsy!

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how did the little black boy cross the river? he walked over the bridge.

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Why was the little boy's head so big? He had a tumor in his brain.

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Sarah went to church one day and went into the confession booth with her pastor. He made sure nobody was in the church, and proceeded to allow her to confess. He didn't molest her. However, when Sarah got home her abusive stepfather beat her to death in an alcoholic rage and shot himself. It was on the news.

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If Mormonism is true, and Mitt Romney becomes a god, what will that make him? Romniopotent.

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How do you greet a small mexican man at Chuck E. Cheese? Whatsup Jose

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because six is a numerophobe.

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Relax, I said some pretty vile things to you when I thought you where a guy seducing me while it became ever more apparent that you where pretending to be me, thing is I often use this site to vent my frustrations and earning the "praise" in the form of red thumbs by the people. I wont say your name, but I know who you are now, the girl with the big red scared eyes, I mean how many one handed 27 year old`s do I know? I am in my early thirties, that`s all I am willing to share for now, If people come around trying to poke out my remaining eye, I am ready (my waifu, is at her mother`s place, she knows I am still a wanted target by, well some people here and there.

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What did the Unicorn do with the Portal gun? Nothing. Neither of them are real.

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What's the difference between a battered woman and a regular woman. There is absolutely no difference...

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If a quiz is a quizzical what is a test? A testicle

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Jerry: Why arent you talking to me Seth? Seth then explains using sign language that he was born mute and is offended that Jerry keeps forgetting. Then Jerry uses sign language to say" **** off i have alzheimers!"

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A black man, hispanic man, and white man walk in to a bar. They are all friends. They enjoy a few beers together then call a taxi to take them home because it is irresponsible to operate a motor vehicle while under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.

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What do you call a black midget with no legs and has 11 fingers? A human being

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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