Your mom is so ugly that she was mercilessly bullied throughout high school which led to severe depression and low self-esteem, however she went to college, got a career, found a man who loved her for who she is, not how she looks, and raised a family happily ever after.

Wanna hear a funny story? Sure Ok.

What's worse than Patrick in a blender. Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, idk.

Q.Why did Beethoven kill his chicken? A. It had contracted a serious illness. He had killed it as an act of mercy.

Why was the orphan crying? His parents were dead and his future was uncertain.

I do not want to know, you want to TELL ME so that I can increase the potency of the hypnotic suggestion by... Lets say... A number that if I said would work instantly? I wrote CONDOMS ARE FOR PUZZIES... Which kinda makes sense... Just a line, from the worst game ever.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there was a red light and it was his turn to cross.

Why did the black guy fail his math test? Because he did not study enough and as a result was no prepared to take a test on that material.

Q: Why are Dino-Nuggets so good? A: Because they are nuggets in the shape of dinosaurs.

What's worse then failing a test. Being raped by a horse

What do you call a person trying to rob a store with no arms? Peter Pan

whats faster than the speed of light? a jew with a coupon

What is the worst thing about a couple of white kids playing with a couple of black kids? There are no parks or recreation centers within walking distance from there houses.

Mindfuck: They call you a patient where medics are because they do not want you to become impatient. The Coronel is the Kernel of the army (coronel sounds a lot like coronel no?) Sergeant = Sir gent. as in Sir gentle(man) Ok, so if you experience insanity one day, does that make you insane forever? In that case I was born and will die hungry and thirsty. Sigmund Freud= Sickman fraud. General: The guy you should generally listen to if you are in the army. 3.14 ratebay = PIRATE BAY! Why is Satan the antichrist, humans killed him :P Satan only "tempted his thirsty brother with water at the desert" Jesus showed real power by saying "NO WATER WHEN I AM THIRSTY IS BAD FROM MY BROTHER!"

only one person get beat up chuck norris. Who you say? Bruce Lee. He got lucky because his eyes were closed.

What did the bus say to the short bus? Heh, you're retarded..

Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

roses are red violets are blue i have AIDS now so do you.

when im sad im feel horny i rape little children -jimmy saville , last words of the diary

What did the ginger say to god? Nothing it has no soul

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a poodle? A satisfied elephant and a dead poodle.

yo Mama so stupid a robber stole her t.v and she ran after him yelling, YOU FORGOT THE REMOTE!

How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...