If you give a mouse a cookie... you're destroying their natural diet.

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April showers bring May flowers! And what do May flowers bring? Bees. Lots and lots of bees.

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We can never ask enough hypothetical questions, can we? Well?

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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Who has, there are like... Well actually I might have watched them all, downloaded them in a torrent... A LEGAL torrent of course... NOT. Well, you get a hint, it looks a lot like Mickey Mouse, and its a trick question since Mickey Mouse was not actually drawn by Disney, so yeah.

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Your mom is so ugly she plans on using you college funds for getting plastic surgery

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Q:What did grandma get for christmas? A:a coffen

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Why do we have a black president? Because the populace voted and thought him to be an overall better candidate than John McCain.

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What do you eat for breakfast and is sometimes blue? Pancakes.

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Q: What did the monkey say to the parrot? A: I like trains so feed me bananas!

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Dr. Fishbourne Dr. Fishbourne? Yea, I've come to inform you that your son has committed suicide due to lack of parental care and love.

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My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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DARK FACT: A ratchet black chick would say that was racist.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have AIDS we're dying together

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Why do females have boobs? So they can breast feed their babies.

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Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

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Sometimes i like to paint myself red and then curl up into a ball and pretend i'm a tomato.

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How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

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Q: What do you say when you see your T.V. floating at night? A: That's so frickin awesome

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noah is a scrub jungle

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how many jews can you fit into a car 5, two in the front three in the back

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A guy walks into a restaurant.... He ordered his meal , got desert and left a nice tip based off a percentage of his final bill.

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yo Mama so stupid a robber stole her t.v and she ran after him yelling, YOU FORGOT THE REMOTE!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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