Knock knock. Who's there? Come in.

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Okay, but cut me some slack here, its not as straight forward as it sounds, I got at least twice as many active synapses as other people do, that means twice the thought process, in video games I can for example remember twice the commands, and such. Sadly this does not mean that I can think twice as fast or twice as smart, but rather that I do so involuntarily in short spans, until I burn myself out. So be a bit nice to me, when I say that I have since I was a kid used about 2.5-7.5 mg valium, this is just because my thought process works so fast I burn out because well, I got the processor, but it burns out, excuse me my wife needs some help with her cellphone, see you soon

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If Sally has 4 apples and Dan has 3 apples, how many apples do they have together? Red, because ducks have 2 legs.

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An impolite guy walks into a bar... and doesn't apologize to the bar.

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What happens if you type "Michael Jackson" divided by "Friends" on a calculator? DIVIDE BY 0 ERROR.

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Yo momma so normal, she got married, had three kids and then lived a dull but contented life.

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i hate christians and muslims, until drugs are involved. iduno what dat is, i try it.

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Why is it that we don't eat clowns? Because in most Western countries cannibalism is illegal.

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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Hitler walks up to a little girl at a concentration camp: - How old are you? - I'm turning 7 tomorrow! - Nope.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a sandwhich... I dont rape my sandwhiches before i eat them

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FOLLOW ME @airvvv

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Want to hear a joke? Womens rights.

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What did the cow say to the chicken? - Muuuuhhhhhhhhh!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Tourette's, PENIS.

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There was this guy who walked in the bar with one shoe. The bartender asks what happened. The man said the shoe didn't fit. So the bartender ask where is the other shoe. The man said he threw it away. The bartender looks in the trashcan and sure enough he sees his other shoe. The bartender says "This is the same size as your other shoe. Why are you wearing one shoe?" The man says "I'm just playing a prank on you. There's a hidden camera over there and over there. Is it okay if I can put you on YouTube?" and the bartender says "No."

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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I like my coffee like I like my women..... Without Hepatitis.

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for his birthday? Broken arms and legs

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What is brown, smells like shit and on fire? A muslim after the bomb vest malfuctioned!

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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Susan boyle has a belly button, Simon has a belly button, Because its only normal.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? hypothermia.

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Me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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