roses are red violets are red the whole world is red i started the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are read Violets are not green Chicken is good KFC baby, time to get lean

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did jimmy cross the road? Because that was the direction the cannon was pointing.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A chicken crossed the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor "Hey, wheres my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down +111

What's worse than dropping you're ice cream? Getting your face mauled off by a German Shepard.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

how do you make a black person stop drowning you take your boot of his head

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the doctor say to his patient? You have 2 weeks to live.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

How long does it take a black woman to have a baby? Nine months, give or take a few days depending on whether she goes into labour early or not.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red Violets are blue Vodka is less Than dinner for two

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what did the doctor say to the wery fat man? you have diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -16

i came... i saw... -myself when i came.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call Magic Johnson in a wheel chair? A tragedy, especially considering his past struggles with HIV.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was Jacob not allowed to play sports? He fell down in the middle off the street and got ran over 50 times and could never do anything again.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Banana

thumb_up thumb_down +103

Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are grey, violets are grey, I am color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

47

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops