Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms. Why doesnt she have arms? they got bit off by a shark. Knock knock. Who's there? Not the girl.

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How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? I don't know considering it was never done before, and that the size of the pancake would have to be taken into account. Although I would suggest you use a better material like wood, plastic, or metal.

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How do you sabotage someone's car? Drop a fridge on it

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What do an elephant and grapes have in common? They both have a trunk...except for the grapes

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What doesn't have opposable thumbs, barks at the mail man, eats dog food, and is good at every sport? Air bud

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one morning i turned on my tv

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When the boy cried wolf who heard him? Not Helen Keller

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knock knock who's there? me josh! come in.

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What did the nerd say to his friend regarding the test they had just taken? - Nothing, he doesn't have any friends.

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What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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Why did the man throw his alarm clock out the window? Because he has anger management issues.

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How many hispanics does it take to screw in a light bulb. One. Just one. You just screw it in, it's not that complicated.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a depressed alcoholic drug addict whose children had all been diagnosed with a rare form of terminal brain cancer, and he decided to end it then and there by jumping in front of an approaching bus.

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If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Depends. Some are vegetarians or vegans, while most eat a mixture of vegetables and meat.

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A man went back in time and warned nobody about anything and pretended to be from the time he choose to go to and lived a happy life eventually finding a wife. He later found out he had a baby on the way, he named it after his great grandfather who was a war hero. He later found out that many years later his son had a son and they named it after his grandpa. He went to the hospital where he died just as his grandson had a baby and they named it after his father. The man died. End.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, you tell me.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

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Dear crush, I want to drink you

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Knock Knock Who's There Gary Oh hi Gary, come in

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What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

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Why couldn't the teen go to the prom? He was busy working to help his mom recover from breast cancer.

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why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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