When an anvil and a feather are dropped off a building the anvil will hit the ground first because it's heavy

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when god gives you lemons, you find a new god!

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An attractive naked woman walks into a bar. Everyone is surprised, and all the straight men, gay women and bi-sexual men and women in the bar are sexually aroused.

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A man walks into a restaurant and ordered a soup. Then, he called the waiter and said the soup tasted funny. The waiter said, "so laugh". the man then killed the guy and sips the soup while laughing.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. One says "I'll have H20", the other says "I'll have a beer." The first one is the one to drive them to their homes.

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Why did Hitler kill so many Jews? Because he didn't like them.

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A black man logs on to facebook. He checks his news feed then logs off

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What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? DAM!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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Yo mama so fat, when the waiter handed her the menu, she said "yes"

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Knock, knock -Who's there? Help -Help who? Im dying of lukemia

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What I have learned about the Japanese studying video games and anime (read below for more, better studies): Student at school: USING PENN TO TYPU! USING PEN TO TYPU! Teacher: No Susaki San! You must onry yell the name of attakus! You suspension get! Student: JOSH! I CHARRENGE YOU TO MORTAR KOMBAT! Teacher: KAAAAAAAAMEEEEE HAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEE! Student: FINAL FRAAAAAAASH! Student and teacher: Locked into energy wave combat for several hours. Teacher: Puh... Lets rather settle this with a round of Shaolin Soccer... Student: VICTOLY! Me: Well I saw a disturbing lot of Japanese people cosplay dressed as zangief... Skinny guys with fake chesthair and red hair that kept posing with their (nonexistent) muscles and yelling RED CYCRONE! Wanting me to take pictures of them... And Japanese lolitas, and blonde girls called Ganguro... Weirdest trip ever... They also kept Looking at Emanuel my (black) friend, and assumed he was my servant... Conclusion: My real trip to Japan was not so different from my above example as one might think...

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So,a guy walks up to his friends at the bar and try's to to talk to them,the friends start being rasist ,so the first guy says 'wo guys stop going in that direction ,that one direction

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Why was the ghast from minecraft crying? His family died

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Why are there so many blacks in prison? *The rest of this joke has been removed to avoid causing offence*

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Why did the Girl fall of the swing? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's There? Not That Girl

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why did susie get hit by the bus? cause the bus driver wanted her ice cream

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Q. Why did the Muslim go to hell? A. Because his name was Osama Bin laden.

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Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

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Making fun of Charlie Sheen is like shooting up in a barrel.

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What is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans

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Roses are red Violets are violet the last time i saw this poem i couldn't rhyme no more

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Q: What did Bobby get for his first birthday ? A: Adoption papers

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Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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