Roses are red, Violets are violet

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roses are brown, violets are brown, who the hell sh** on my garden?

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Roses are red, violets are blue God made me beautiful, how about you?

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What happened to the mentaly retarted gentleman walking down the street? Nothing bad. He might a very fine woman and the went to dinner shortly after.

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This guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. She stuck her head out and said, yes.

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A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

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There's some good news and some bad news. The bad news is there isn't any good news.

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A fat man on a moped

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Why was the turtle blue? He wasn't you are color blind.

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What is harder than Jenga? Being a quadraplegic.

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Ice cream doesn't have bones!

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On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Nothing, because I'm single.

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How do you stop a plane? Throw flying birds at it.

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A little gir gets stung by a bee. Her parents see the bump She now geting meletedin Rehab because her parents saw her shoot up heroine.

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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What's Funny About A Black Man Being Shot? Nothing, That Man Was My Friend.

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What did one door say to the other door? Nothing, cause doors don't talk.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Grass is green, Trees are brown.

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Then what's your favorite team little white guy?

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Shape like a book, have papers like a book, have a cover like a book, and could be read like a book. But it's not a book, what is it? A dictionary

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whats wrong with 4 blackmen in a jaguar falling over a cliff?? That was my car...

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What was even more disgusting than the holocaust? Lucy's new shoes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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