What's blue, cold and makes people cry? A dead baby

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Your mom is so old that she has a lot of wrinkles because that's what happens to people when they get old.

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what did John do to make the cold weather a little less irritating? well, being a homeless man, John did..... nothing.

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why was the jew shaking hands with a nazi? they realized their differences and were bonding.

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Knock Knock Who's There? The I.R.S.

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What's johnny's favorite bedtime story? The sound of the subway. Johnny and his father are homeless and can't afford bedtime stories

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Why did the baby cross the road? A very uncaring parent left their infant outside. The unsupervised baby then crawled under the fence and began to head towards the road. When the baby began to cross the road, there were two cars coming from both directions. Luckily, they saw the baby and came to an abrupt stop. Unfortunately, when the baby made it to the other side, an eagle swooped down and snatched the baby, because it is a bird of prey. Fortunately, the child's life was spared by the eagle. The Department of Child Services showed up later only to confiscate the baby from the parents. The eagle wanted to adopt it, but it could not speak nor could it sign the legal documents because it was an eagle.

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How do you spot a paedophile in a playground? You don't, there are usually a lot of adults around.

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Three women are sent to heaven. Theres a blond , brunette , and a redhead. There are 100 steps to heaven and on every step god tells you a joke and you cant laugh. The redhead makes it to step 23 then laughs. The brunette makes it to step 67 then laughs. Finally the blond make it all the way to the 100th step and before god can tell the joke she laughs. God asks why are u laughing? And the blond says " i just got the 1st one"!

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Why was little Mat petting his dog? Just kidding his dog died in a house fire... so did little Mat

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What worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a gin and tonic. The bartender gives him a sprite and charges him $12.

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how do you know when your in love? massive erection.

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what did the shark do when he died.....

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What do you call children with no arms or legs ...their names

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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Male penises.

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-On a scale of one to ten, what's your favourite colour of the alphabet? -The answer is yes, because aliens don't wear hats.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

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How do black people gain access to houses? Through the front door.

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Whats black and white, and red all over? A Zebra being slaughtered.

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How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had herpes.

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What do you call people who play dance dance revolution? Dancers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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