Today, I was thirsty so I got in my kitchen and took a bottle of juice out of my refrigirator, I realised the bottle was empty, so I immediatly took a walk to the store and bought another bottle.

An Asian man walked to P.F. Changs, and asked where the bathroom is.

What do you call 1 + 1 = 2? i like boobs

what do you call a man with no arms or legs? handicapt

Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made the man who said shut up mad so he told the man to shut up.

what happens when y tell ur deff brother uve been sleeping with his wife..nothing

yo mama so fat that the doctor asked for her weight not her phone number!

What is big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

Today is jessica's birthday and she is turnig 6 She walks in the living room to tell her dad its her birthday. Jessica"Dad, Dad guess how old i am today!" Dad "How old?" Jessica"6 dad im am 6". she walks into the kitchen to tell her Grandad Jessica" papa papa guess how old i am today" Grandad"Well for me to know this you would have to take of your panties" as he tells her she did as she was told. her grandad fingers her and smells her panties. He tells her "You are 6 today" Jessica"How did you know" Grandad"I listen as you told your dad in the dinning room".

What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can A hundred dead babies in a trash can Whats worse than a hundred dead babies in a trash can A live one at the bottom Whats worse than that It eats it way out Whats worse than that It brings friends

whats worst than the holocaust? the holocaust times 2

Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg because if a chicken came first then that means chickens magically appeared. Eggs however may change over time through evolution by a common ancestor because after millions of years of hatching, it slowly mutated by natural selection and became to what is now known as the domestic chicken. (Applause)

Why did Billy drop his ice cream cone? Because he was hit by a truck.

Why did the pineapple cry? It didn't, because it's a pineapple.

Two muffins are in the oven. They don't say anything because muffins can't talk. The end.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a passing car.

Hey, look over there! It's ur mom!

I used to play Skyrim but then I took an arrow in the knee. Then, I played MW3 until I took a bullet in the elbow. And now, I'm in the hospital wondering why people keep harming me.

Justin Bieber walks into a bar. He is soon kicked out as he is underage.

how many dead babies fit in a bathtub 16

CAUSE IT'S ONE, TWO, THREE STRIKES YOU'RE OUT

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at his genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

How many eco-friendly people does it take to change a lightbulb? Nobody knows because fluorescent lightbulbs last 6 to 12 years longer than an incandescent lightbulb.

Why was the guy sad? His son killed himself after being constantly bullied for 6 years.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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