What's the difference between Jews and pizza? One is an adherent to the religion of Judaism, and the other is a doughy bread topped with tomato sauce and cheese. They share virtually no similarities.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, that was a turkey. Oh.

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What's big, green, has 4 legs, and if it falls out of a tree will kill you? A pool table

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What is the difference between you and Chuck Norris? You're reading this and he's probably doing something productive.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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A Catholic Priest, an Anglican Priest, and a Rabbi were in a train carriage together because they got a package deal to go to a conference on religious tolerance. Good for them.

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What's black and buried in my backyard? An African American, I'm a member of the Ku Klux Klan

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what did one wall say to another wall? nothing walls cant talk

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There are two muffins in a oven, the first muffin is chocolate chip and the second muffin is blueberry.

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You Obviously Lack Originiality YOLO.

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How do you fit 100 charizards into a bus? Put them into pokeballs. Otherwise, there would be no possible way because Charizards are such large creatures.

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Why didn't the little boy have a good time at his birthday party? Because his friends lit him on fire.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for christmas? Nothing. He was a jew. Jew's don't celebrate christmas.

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When he was a little boy, what was Chaz Bono's favorite Cher song? Chaz Bono was never a little boy, he was a girl.

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lick my ballsack.... ok

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog.

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mario squashes another goomba when his wife hears of this he kills her 3 children with a gun and hangs herself.

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What did the man before he was executed? Nothing. He was already executed before he said something.

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I got a new jacket. The jacket had real cotton inside the sleeves. The next day my new jacket was gone, but the one i bought yesterday wasn't.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to end the lives of two male individuals and paralyze the the third male individual from the hip down.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Drop a brick on her face.

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The horse said "nay."

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A man was standing out in the rain and calls out to god saying "smite me god, SMITE ME NOW" and the man was arrested and booked cause a near by neighbor reported on the disturbance. he is now facing charges of disturbing the peace.

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Why doesn't Lucinda have a penis? Because she's Mexican.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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