What's the difference between a baby and a textbook? You throw a textbook at the wall with TWO hands.

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What happens when you cross a housecat with a feral cat? A kitten is born.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his failing marriage.

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What happens to a warehouse on a full moon? Nothing

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The biggest lie ever. "I do" -Kim Kardashian

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what is white on top and black on bottom Society What is black on top and white on bottom Rape

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What's even worse than getting a parking ticket on your birthday? Child molestation.

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Penis.

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Why'd jimmy drop his candy wrapper? He was brutally melested and stabbed I the eyeballs with forks and cut into pieces before he could make it to the trash can. He was then thrown into the trash can he was going to.

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What has wings and can't fly? What has legs and can't move? What has mouth and can't eat? A dead bird on the road

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A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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What's the difference between a fine wine and a dead baby in a blender? One gets better as it ages, and the other is a horrific accident.

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Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings? A: An elephant between two buildings, and the question of how the elephant got there

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Why didn't the dog want to cross the road? there was a flea market on the other side.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are being pursued by the cops. They run into an old barn for a place to hide. They each hid in a different potato sack. The cops enter the barn, and seeing no one, leave and continue the search somewhere else. The three girls flee the country and give up their life of crime. The cops later go get some donuts.

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Q: What's circlular and has two hands? A: A skinny person, i was kidding about the circular part!

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Whats funnier than 24.....25

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Q: Why was the math book sad? A: Because he recently found out that his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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What's red, blue, and purple? purple.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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why did the 60 year old touch the little boy's penis? because he was a pedophile.

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Q: Why was the cook put in jail. A: He has killed 2 people and robbed several stores

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Why did the autopilot of a plane malfunction even though the pilots had engaged the switch? The pilots had taken manual control. I lied about the switch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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