what do you get when you cross do you get when you cross a banana and a monkey? one happy monkey

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How do you teach an asian baby to read? Enroll him in a good pre-school and practice regularly.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

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Two blondes walk into a bar, but they are then puzzled as the door would not budge open for them.

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Seeing you happy is what makes me happy Nero, it has always been this way.

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What did the retarded guy say to the other retaarded guy? A. Your retarded

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What happened to the alcoholic? He got liver cancer

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What do you call a 2 storied house ? A dolphin! :D

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Cannot tell, national security. As far as I care we are friends, therefore I cannot continue chatting with you for a while, its gonna seem pretty damn suspicious, I wont be repeating myself. Except again, do not worry, we will take care of this, and if not, I will contact you, you are not in any danger for the mean being, whoever are against us are looking for "Nero", not you, and I am pretty damn safe. By the way, I never lost an eye, but your "wiz" revealed himself by sharing that information, that part was the only ploy as far as I care, and it was necessary for everybody`s survival. Do not worry friend, I will call you sometime, but I recommend we stay off touch for at least 3 months, and that you stop using this site.

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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Q:What is the difference between a Blonde and a Ginger? A: Hair Color

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender does not ask about its facial characteristics, because he is wondering why there is a horse standing in his bar.

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Wanna know way i don't eat grapes? I hate Grapes.

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knock knock who's there boo Jenny had a heart attack due to the scare, she was taken to hospital and died

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sometimes when im bored i dress in white pour water on the ground and roll around in it and pretend im a papertowel

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Q: What's funny about a gay man being raped by men for being gay? A: The man's personality

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why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red I'm not creative Roses are Blue

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What's better than having a baby in your fridge? Almost anything.

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What do you call a room full of Jews? A gas chamber.

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How did the black guy survive from drowning? Years of Swimming lessons at his local YMCA

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Fine, start by proving to me that you can be a reasonable human being, and I will meet you myself, I have too many of those that rely on my guidance and protection in order for me to send myself off to some suicide mission. Say, are you familiar with the Antony Stark method?

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Yo mamma so fat not even Dora can explore her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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