What did the dog get for Christmas? euthanization

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Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window, at the 122th floor of a skyskraper.

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A man walks into a bar, and is brutally slaughtered by eight drunk customers.

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Why did the chcicken cross the road? To get to the other side nl

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what do you call an old man missing a toe? a diabetic.

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I like my coffee the same way I like my women: without a penis!

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What do you call a blonde person? By her name.

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Jesus was nailed to the cross by Roman guards... His disciples were kept behind a line of guards and they could not hear Jesus speak. They can see he was saying something, so they had to get closer to hear what he was saying. John dodged a guard and ran towards Jesus, but a guard cut his leg off with a sword... Peter ran for it and got past John but another guard cut off one of his legs... Matthew saw this opportunity to dodge both guards and jets past both John and Peter and gets to the foot of the cross... Jesus looks down at Matthew and says, "Matthew.... I can see your house from here!"

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Q: What's more gross than uncooked hamburgers? A: Afterbirth.

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Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock WHAT THE F*** DO YOU WANT?!?!?!?! Oh, well then nevermind

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Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

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Why did the man not get his licence He was blind

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Roses are black Violets are too I am a dog I don't know how to rhyme

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Want to know a joke? There is no joke.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock Who's there THE CHICKEN

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Q: What did Delaware? A: A black dress. She was on her way to her father's funeral.

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What's white and gluey Glue

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How come dinosaurs don't talk? Because they're dead.

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MICHAEL

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The Piglodocus has been featured in films such as "Jurassic Pork" and "Land before Swine".

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbor.

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What did the jew do to his waiter? He explained how he had provided excellent service and left a very generous tip to applaud his efforts.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate flowers and am making fun of them by messing up this originally beautiful poem about those repulsive manisfestations of pure evil.

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Why did the head football coach go to the bank? Not to get his quarter back cause that'll cost him at least ten million a year.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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