What is more annoying then finding a worm in your apple you

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How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

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two tomatoes are running and one stops to tie its shoe and the other says "Catch up!" This begins to put the first tomato on the spot and he runs after the second tomato without finishing his shoe and he trips falls and dies of severe brain damage

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I am so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.

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why did the boy drop his bus because he was hit by an ice cream

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What did the Jews say before they got of the bus? Let's make like a Jewish kid's forskin and get the hell out of here.

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Can you see this brett? Connor

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Roses are red Violets are blue this poem makes no sense Potato

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Why did the 18 year old girl take her clothes off? To take a shower

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What`s 3 times as worse than a war? 3 wars

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Why was Diana crying? Because she was penetrated.

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A man is driving down a back country road in an old beat up car going 30 mph when he notices a black horse and a white horse keeping pace with him. They keep up with him for a few miles before passing him and turning into a farm on the road. The man is quite impressed with the horses speed and follows them to the farmer and offers the farmer living there the horses in exchange for the car. The farmer says the horses are bad luck but accepts the trade, and the man walks off with the horses. The man then enters the horses in a big horse race and puts a lot of money on them. The horses immediately take the lead and are about to finish the race when the black horse trips and the white horse goes back to pick him up and end up losing. The man is furious and returns the horses to the farmer and gets his car back. The next day another man is driving in a nicer car down the same road going 50 mph when the black horse and the white horse run right past his car. Impressed with the horses speed the man trades his car to the farmer who warns him about the horses. Ignoring the farmer's warning the man enters the horses in a new race. The horses once again take the lead and are close to finishing first and second when the black horse trips and the white horse goes and picks him up again once again losing their lead. The man angrily returns the horses in exchange for his car. The next day a third man drives down the same road in a brand new sports car. While he's testing the limits of the car the horses catch up to him and run with him. Surprised by the speed of the horses the man speeds up in his car but the horses manage to keep up. The horses eventually run past the man and turn into their farm, and the man looks down and realizes that the horses had been running faster than 120 mph. The man goes to the farmer and offers his car in exchange for the horses. The farmer accepts but gives the man the same warning he gave the two men earlier. The new man just like the other two men ignores the warning and enters the horses into a race and bets a lot of money on them. This time the horse take the lead out of the gate but feet from the finish line the white horse trips and falls. The black horse seeing this goes back and helps him up once again losing the race. The man is disgusted and releases the horses into the city in hopes that they'll die out there. The two horses are wander into a bar, and the bartender looks at them and says: "hey you two why the long face?"

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? Interrupting Cow Jones.

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Why didnt timmy go to the party Mom said no

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Lol Nerochan, that was like totally awesome!

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What do you get when you make a website to put jokes on? People repeating the same joke over and over again, and still managing to get good ratings.

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A man walks into a bar. Q: What's the apple doing on your head? A: Peach? It's not pear. It's banana.

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What's grey and looks good on policemen? your mom.

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Whats worst than finding half a worm in your apple? Getting rapped by a giant scorpian

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what is the diference between my left tit and my right tit .... my right one was cut off because of breast cancer

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Q.Why did Beethoven kill his chicken? A. It had contracted a serious illness. He had killed it as an act of mercy.

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A catholic priest held a puppet show at a kindergarten. The children were a very polite audience and the event was considered a great success.

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A plane filled with English tourists is on it's way from Holland to Spain. It crashes in France. Where are the surviors buried? Survivors aren't buried.

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A black guy and a Hispanic guy are in a car together. Who's driving? The black guy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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