Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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Patient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano when my arm heals? Doctor: Did I not tell you? You insurance didn't cover the cost of this operation. Your arm is never going to be healed!

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Knock, knock. Whose there? Tits. Tits, who? SUCK EM'!

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Why was the homeless man homeless? He lost his house in a terrible house fire, stretching throughout his apartment building, losing his much beloved wife and kids in the horrific accident.

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Why did little tomas cry? Because he got raped by his uncle

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

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Uh, if I say that I am that girl, am I going to be safe?

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Adeeeellllleeeee where are my shorts

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Why did an old man cause a car accident? He gotf a heart attack.

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The Pope walks into a bar. The bartender says, "what'll ya have, Pope?" But the Pope's grasp of English is tenuous at best, so he mumbles something in Latin. The bartender doesn't know any Latin. The Pope gets frustrated and leaves.

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Why was the chinese man kicked out of the bar? Because he was under aged

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What do you do when a black person steals your computer Inform the authorities, as theft is a felony.

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Your mom is so fat that she should watch her weight and maintain a healthy diet.

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What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

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What's worse then a worm in your apple You took a bite outta that apple.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? one's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, the other is a lawyer

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A man walks into a bar. The barman says, 'why the lo-, wait, i thought you was that horse again.'

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Whats the same about Jerry Seinfeld and Adam Sandler They are both comedians

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what did the robot say to the centipede. Stop being a centipede!!!! Its funny because robots have arms.

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Why couldn't the black kid buy a bike? He had no money.

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What do you do when you're making out with your girlfriend? Play with another dude's ass.

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I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

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Q. What's silver and cries? A. Someone who's been stabbed while wearing a suit of armour.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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