What's worse then being HIV positive? Catching the cold the next day.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Knock Knock Who's there? ........

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What's big, yellow and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A JCB!

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A man from timbuktu slept on a bed of nails. It was very uncomforable

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Women's rights.

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hey i just F****d u and this is crazy so delete the number and keep the baby

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What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Nothing, it's still a dinosaur! Her sexual orientation is regardless. ~kyle hudson

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What did the college kids drink at the party? Soda. Alcohol is illegal for people under the age of 21 to consume.

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What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

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What did one terrorist say to another? You first.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm color blind.

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Two Mice are sitting on a bridge , one falls down an the other is named Charlotte

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How do dinosaurs pay their bills? They don’t, dinosaurs don’t have a capital system.

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Why was the man alone? Because he was tied to a tree.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips can be of multiple colors.

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What is red, blue, green, and pink, tie died, and alive? Nothing.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob Who? Bob the human.........

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What did the dinosaur say to the koala? Nothing because the dinosaur is extinct and both of which cannot talk.

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Looking's for free... Touching's for free.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got revenge And you got big boobs. :3 Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad poet Now i'm dead. O_O

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Why did the car stop working. The owner was unable to pay the outrageous price for gasoline and was forced to ride a bicycle to and fromvwork every day. Over the course of several months without being run, the engine seized and was forever broken.

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What has two legs, but cant walk? Steven Hawking

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If god gives you lemons You find a new god.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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