What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

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A tiger walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender gets him a drink because he would rather not get vigorously consumed by a mighty beast.

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How many ants are in the kitchen? None. We killed them all.

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Okay, I just really want you to trust me again,

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Why is my penis so damn small? Cause the good lord made me that way

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how did the fat man get up the stairs he walked

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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What's harder nailing 10 babies to 1 tree... Or nailing 1 baby to 10 trees???

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OH LOOK I'M A SAILOR I KNOW NAUTICAL PHRASES! LIKE...... KNOTS AND MAST AND SHIP AND SEA AND STUFF

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Why couldn't the young pirate get in to the movie? Because he wasn't old enough.

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Q: what is white and can't climb trees? A: A refrigerator

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A snail buys a car from a dealership, and then asks the manager if he could paint a large S on the side of the car. The manager agrees, and the snail drives away. From the parking lot, the manager sees the car go straight on to the highway and get hit by a truck. Unfortunately, snails cannot drive.

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What do you call a black man holding a stone with bloody hands A hard working stone mason

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i like my babies how i like my potatoes..... skinned

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Why are you asleep? Because I'm tired.

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What do airplanes and trees not have in common?? Bananas

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What's the deal with brown?

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What did the disabled boy get on Christmas morning? Cancer.

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You're walking down a street and you see a man struggling to open a door, what do you do? Whatever you feel like doing.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A little boy who can't reach the doorbell.

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roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

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kennah campion when she talks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops