roses are red violets are blue i smell meth abkfjbekfhbkfsdshjfbkhb

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A man walk into a bar. Just kidding he has no legs.

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What did the chair say when someone sat on it? Nothing. The person's butt covered the chair's mouth.

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What did the mexican do when 3 INS workers came to his house? He showed them his papers and it turns out he was a natural born US citizen. The mexican then proceeded to invite the INS into his home for a cup of coffee but they respectfully declined

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had Gonorrhea.

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your dad's gay. just let that sink in.

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yo momma so fat, it appears she has two chins

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Why is a duck? Because one leg is both the same.

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Why didn't the poor man buy a candy bar? He wasn't hungry.

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a dog walk into a landmine, he exploded.

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What do you call a seedless pumpkin? A pumpkin.

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Knock knock. With the invention of doorbells, knocking has become almost obsolete.

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What did the teacher say to the student? You did very poorly on your homework and will never succeed. The student was black.

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how do u get a clown to stop smiling? Hit it with an axe!

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How do you become a multi-trilionere? Get bored...

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A blonde and a brunette jump off a building, who hits the ground first? The one that jumped first

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what is sad about gingers ? they are an unrecognised visible minority.

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guy 1: hey, i got a new dog. isn't he cute? guy 2: i just lit him on fire

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Q: what smells like cheese and tastes like cheese? A: cheese

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What do you call a guy so fat that he can't fit in a bath tub? A guy so fat that he can't fit in a bath tub.

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What's worse than breaking your arm? Not having any arms.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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Q. did u see Stevie wonders new house A. no me. neither did he

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What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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