A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" asks the bartender. "I want six shots of whisky," responds the young man. "Six shots? What’s the occasion?" asks the barman. "My first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let me give you a seventh on the house." To which the young man replies, "No offence sir, but if six shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

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What's red and hurts you? A brick.

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roses are red violets are indigo

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? One has a penis, and one has a vagina.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!"

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What was the first thing that went through the mind of the first 9/11 jumper? Thank god I only jumped from the first floor.

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Dwarf Shortage

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Q: What does a blond do with a box of crayons? A: Paints a picture

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do want to hear a joke? Women's rights

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why was the man afraid of the tree? Because it ate his mother!!!!!!

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A woman walked into a bar. Many men laughed at this unthinkable notion because women belong in the kitchen.

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If you see a pink banana, you are color blind.

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What did little Susie give to young Billy on Christmas? Genital Herpes.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Bill Walters from across the street. How are we talking through a door?

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why did the guy make a deer and and bear mix because he wanted some beer

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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what do u say when u see your tv floating in the middle of the night? drop it n*****

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ARGH! LADY THAT SNAKE BIT MY PECKER! YOU HAVE TO SUCK THE POISON OUT NOW! OMG SURE, err...Meh, thats not a poisonous snake... Oh... dammit! I mean phew! Ouch ouch ouch!

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Your mom is so fat, her pants are starting to get tight.

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DANA

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What happened to the chicken who crossed the road ? Quite obviously he got to the other side to be greeted by a 50 foot half man half chicken who had one leg.

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The joke below me was written by someone who was mauled by a panther and raped by a tribe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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