A Duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'd like to buy some peanuts." The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't sell peanuts." The duck turns around and leaves.

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Knock, knock. After a couple minutes of waiting the man knows that no one is home and leaves.

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What do video games and school have in common? Nothing, nobody likes school

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What do you call a school bus full of black people? A school bus

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What do u call a joke with no punchline? A joke with a kickline

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A couple arrive at a Halloween party for nudists. Then they enjoy the themed decor and food.

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What did Tarzan say when he took out his knife? I took out my knife.

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What do potatoes wear to bed? Potatoes don't sleep and don't wear clothes.

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What do you say to jacks mum when your having Sex? Nothing she's dead.

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Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

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what did the soup kitchen give people for christmas Meatloaf] -Fluzturnusturbusturcusterdustur

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Roses are blue Violets are buckets this poem makes no sense Washing machines

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People used to throw rocks at whores. Now they're throwing wood. *Hint. Hint.*

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Coldpaly is a good band

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What did the chicken say to the rhino? Nothing. Animals can't talk.

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A man walks into a bar. It was his push-up bar that he didn't install high enough. He bumps his head and it hurts.

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Why was King Triton mad at Ariel? Her grades were under the C.

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What did all of the blind children sing on the bus ride? Nothing because they drove off a cliff

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An epileptic man attends a rave.

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Two nuns walk into a bar. There is a monkey between them, that they are both holding hands with. The bartender looks to them, and says "Hello sisters, I am sorry, but we do not allow wild animals into the bar. He's gonna have to wait outside," to which one of the nuns responds, "Oh, do not worry, this is no monkey, this is one of our sisters." The bartender is very confused. He chuckles, and says "Alright, well then your sister is going to have to wait outside." The sisters look at each other confusedly, but take the monkey outside, put it on a leash, and tie it to a pole. They proceed back inside, have a few drinks, and leave. The next night, the bar is a little more crowded. The bartender looks up and sees the two nuns entering. He checks to make sure there is no monkey with them, and there is not, so he goes back to serving drinks. A few minutes later, the two nuns are at the front of the bar ready to order drinks. The bartender smiles at them, "No monkey this time?" he asks. "Not tonight," says one of the nuns. "Alright," says the bartender, "what can I get you?" "I'll take a double bourbon," says one of the nuns. "I'll have a gin and tonic, and she'll have the same" says the other nun, motioning to a rhinoceros on her left. "What the fuck!!" yells the bartender. "How did you get this inside?! Where did you even get a rhinoceros?" He realizes these questions are unimportant, and runs to call animal control. By the time he turns around, however, the rhinoceros is gone. He goes to talk to the bouncer. "Dude, why do you keep letting in wild animals?" asks the bartender. "The hell are you talking about?" asks the bouncer. "Last night, two nuns walked in with a monkey, and tonight they somehow got a rhino past you. You didn't see that??" the bartender snaps. "Three nuns came in last night, and three came in tonight. No monkey, no rhino," the bouncer tells him. Meanwhile, as they walked home to the convent, one of the nuns says "Man, I haven't been drunk in weeks." One of the other nuns turns to her and says, "Well, maybe you should stop turning into an animal every time we get into a bar."

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Why did george washington not make it to the prom? because george washington is dead

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What did the hot rod say to the other hot rod Its hot in here

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A guy walks into a bar. He orders a coke. The bartender looks at the gentlemen with a little smile and says "Just a coke?"

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what's worse than a joke about the holocaust? the holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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