Why did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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Hey look, I found a fire hydrant!

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Why was George Washington buried in Virginia? Because he was dead.

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How do you keep a black man out of your back yard? Tell him to go away.

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What's brown and sticky? The faeces of a glue stick.

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What lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japanese People

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An Asian man and an Irish man are standing at the bus stop, chatting casually, while waiting for the bus to arrive. The Irish man then turns to the Asian and says, "Despite our blatant differences in both race and culture, perhaps someday when we are both available, we can meet and talk civilly about our everyday lives over a cup of coffee."

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How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

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What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

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How do you kill a lawyer? Stab him 50 times in the chest, slit him open and take all of his organs out one by one. Burn what you have left. That should do the trick. OMG I AM EVIL

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Three peasants were brought in front of the King to be rewarded for their assistance during a drought. The King told them that they could each request one thing from him that he could provide. The first man asked to be rich, so the King ordered his guards to fetch a large sack that was filled to the brim with gems and gold pieces. The man thanked the King and left his palace joyfully. The second man asked for a larger house so the King gave him access to one of his many castles. He hurriedly left, eager to try out his new home for size. The third man asked for a cat so the King gave him a cat.

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Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

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give my joke a thumbs up Please!!!

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What's long, hard, and full of semen? a penis.

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Rose are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, Now so do you.

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Q:why did i cross the road A: time to get a watch

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whats better than a dead baby..... wait..... whats worse than a dead baby...... never mind its not that funny anymore

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I saw a chameleon. Then it died

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What happen to the boys drink when the girl took a Sharp turn? Nothing the lid was securely fastened.

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What is the difference between a girl and a boy? Well, a girl has two x-chromosones but a boy has and X and a Y chromosone.

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Why is the fat kid laying on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

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A child walks into a classroom.

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Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops