roses are red violets are blue i have a penis get in the bed

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Knock knock, Who's there? The police, you have committed 14 major felonies and you are being arrested.

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What did the man do when the woman broke up with him? He changed his facebook status to single.

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According to astronomy, when you wish upon a star, you're actually a few million years late. That star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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what is the difference between a banana and an orange? bread.

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What do you call a man with a Club approaching a Seal Very Strong considering he can hold a building

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Q: What do you get when you get a bunch of people who confuse dark humor for anti humor? A: This website.

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Tucker Rivera

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Whats white and can't climb trees? Yogurt.

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a man walks into a bar, he tells the bartender "im not a part of this SYSTEM"

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Character one: What did the blond say to the horse? Character two: you spelled blonde wrong.

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What did little John get for his birthday? No sort of disease or illness of any kind because he was in perfect health. He also got an Xbox.

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Mario goes home after a hard day of work and finds his entire family killed and a note from Bowser... He is now an asshole who beats and rapes kids...

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Justin Bieber is so gay he dates girls

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What do you get when you put Star Wars and Disney together? A Bad Sequel

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Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she was born with no arms and is not loved.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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All these jokes are so much funnier when I read them during class, laughing my ass off and everybody's looking at me like I'm retarded

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Yo mama's so fat she has diabetes.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning and isolation and, as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newtons of force per square centimetre required to break bones.

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What did the man think as the foul baseball flew rapidly toward his face? Oh man, I thought my tickets were to an NBA game.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The entire population.

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How many Asians did it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1 Asians are just like every one else

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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