How do you kill a zombie? You don't. Zombies aren't real.

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What do you call a 400 pound man eating chocolate? diabetic

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cos it wanted to.

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Why can't black people swim? Because most African American individuals grow up in inner urban cities where they have little or no access to swimming facilities.

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How Many Chickens does it take to make an egg? NOrmally 2

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Four homosexuals walk into a bar and theres only one bar stool left how do they all sit down on that one bar stool. They flip the bar stool around and sit down all together

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What did the farmer say when he finally found his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?" Oh ya he had alzheimers.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My room is a mess, Violets are still blue

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How many ADD kids does it take to change a light bulb? Wanna ride bikes?

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Buzi vagy!

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A blonde enters a bar and orders an elevator.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I am I am who? I am here to see you

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What do the NRA and PETA have in common? Both are prominent interest groups from whom political candidates try to obtain votes.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse, incapable of understanding the human language promptly shits on the floor then leaves.

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A black guy and a white guy both get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The white guy is promptly released with a stern warning, whle the black guy is thouroughly questioned and has his car searched for drugs, with the probable cause being that the black guy has bloodshot eyes, reeks of weed and has a bong in his frontseat.

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10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

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Q:Why did Sara fall off the swing? A: Because she has no arms. ..... Knock knock! who's there? Not Sara, she has no arms and doesn't have the abitlity to knock.

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What did Stephen Hawking say to a prostitute? Push me, and then just touch me, Till I can get my, Satisfaction.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Niether did she

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Why does tundes food suck? Because he is from Africa and the cuisine is different

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A giraffe walks into a bar.... just kidding, a giraffe wouldnt fit in a bar.

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- What would you say if you'll see a Mexican eating hamburger in fast-food restaurant? - Enjoy your meal.

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Want to get shot? Go to Virginia Tech. Too Soon?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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