WHY ARE WOMEN SO HARD TO SLEEP WITH? Because the men are always hard while sleeping with them

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knock knock who's there? rude, interrupting cow rude, interrupting cow who? just kidding, its steve. cows can't talk

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A pilot walks into a bar just before his last flight of the day. "Give me a stiff one to get through this last flight, I've had a long day," the pilot tells the bartender. The bartender promptly refuses the pilot service and kicks him out of the bar, since operating an aircraft under the influences of alcohol would at least constitute gross negligence and at worst, murder.

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Pianos.

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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How do you teach another person's son to ride a bike? You don't. Let his real parents teach him to ride a bike.

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Is your refrigerator running? No. That is highly improbable because a refrigerator has no arms or legs, also a refrigerator is not a human being, or alive in any manor and therefor cannot be moved with out an external force acted upon it.

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Jimmy tells his mom he wants to be a Firefighter when he grows up to which the mother replies, "You can't Jimmy, you have leukemia."

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What do you call a man who just came home from a 72-hour work shift ? You don't call him, you let him sleep.

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A jewish man trips and breaks his nose

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Where does the girl with one leg work? Ihop

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Roses are red, bushes are red, trees are red....i set your garden on fire.

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What is worse than the holocaust Nothing it was fine with the Jews in camps burning and dying

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What do you call burt and ernie if they were black?? A couple of n*ggers

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An orphan walks into a bar. The bartender calls Child Protective Services and is given to a nice foster family.

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What did one gothic person say to another gothic person? Nothing. Gothic people only cut themselves.

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Q:How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: Well, we can solve this problem of the wood chuck chucking our wood by putting all of your spare wood in a wood chipper. Try throwing dust you chucking bastard.

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HA HA HA HA HAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHYHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA - Bomber

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What's the difference between your jokes and your penis? No one laughs at your jokes.

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What happened to Johnny when he tripped over his shoelace? He was shot by the man who was following him.

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What's worse than going to boot camp? - going to concentration camp.

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What's black and white and red all over? The dead kitten on the road.

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how many strippers can you fit into a garage? as many as you wanted depending on the size of the garage, but after so many gathered in the same building it is a good probability that some strippers would leave.

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What did the man tell his parents after having sex with another man? A. I am gay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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