Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

 

How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

What do u call something that's sticky and in a stick form? A glue stick :)

5 black men walk into a 7-11 at midnight. They clog the all of the toilets in the mens bathroom causing them to over run.

If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

If you're jumping rope, and both the tires are flat, how much frosting would it take cover the staircase? Rocket!

Mark Twain, Jesus, and Bill Gates are sitting at a bar. Someone messed with the space time continuum again.

why did the magician stop doing magic ? he got hit by a bus and died

Q: What do you call a Polish astronomer? A: Copernicus.

Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

A blind man walks into a book store. He asks if they have any books in Braille. The employee says "Yes! Many you haven't even seen before!"

Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

Why did the white guy sit on the toilet? So he could take a poop.

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "James" "James who?" "What the heck?You forgot me already?Its your bestfriend dude.Now let me in." ~Lil

Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, there is no reason for a chicken to need to cross a road.

What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: babies lack the intelligence and motor skills to accomplish such a task so it is not practical to hire them for a painting job.

Why don't women have breasts? Because they have dandruff. Get it? Hint: "dandruff" = "dan druff"

A: Doctor doctor help me! B: Sorry, I'm not actually a doctor, stop calling me that!

How many armless people does it take to change a lightbulb? I dunno, that's why I asked you... Hello?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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