Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a dog, Meow.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock, Knock Who's there? Milkman! Milkman who? ....Timmy....I've been coming here for FOURTEEN YEARS! AND YOU CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER MY NAME?!?! I drove your mom to the hospital when you were born since your father is such a deadbeat. I helped pick out your name!! I'm sorry I wasn't born into wealth like you. I'm sorry I have to go door to door handing out milk for other people! I have been coming here every week for FOURTEEN YEARS! But no Timmy, no, don't try to remember my name. Just forget about all the laughs we have had. Or that time i left my family on Christmas because your mother needed me to go find you that Turbo man doll. I saved you from a burning vehicle! I helped you win your third grade science fair! Remember? I have a picture of us and that robot right here in my wallet. I show it to people all the time! Here's me and my...my pal Timmy. Well Timmy, this is it. You shan't see me again.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why couldn't the child go to the park? He was a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why was the boy sad? because his mom just punched his hamburger

thumb_up thumb_down +4

get off me you fat b*tch or i will mash you up like a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the chicken cross the road? To see his brother im dying of leukemia.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the convicted child molester say to the little girl? Nothing, they cut his tongue out in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the monkey say to the African American? Monkeys cannot speak, therefore it would not be able to communicate with an African American, who is an equally respected member of the community, in an efficient way.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

For Chuck Norris every street is one way his way.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

- Knock, knock. - Who's there? - Immigration.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you get when you cross a rainbow with a unicorn, baby, helmet, a bag of sugar, some watermelons, and a jewish guy's hair? A rainbow unicorn baby helmet with a bag of sugar and some watermelons. and some jewish guy's hair.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

whose a bitch? ian doyle's a bitch

thumb_up thumb_down

Q:what did the Aardvark say to the other Aardvark. A: nothing because Aardvark do not have the mental capacity to carry out basic conversations

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q:Why Did the Black people die in there car A: They were Homeless

thumb_up thumb_down -3

a man walked out of church and said F***!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a black kid on a bike ? Dirt bike

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Your mom is so fat she's overweight

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q. What happened to the kid with 1 arm and 1 leg and 1 arm and 1 leg A. He had a seisure, then got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the baby cross the road? A very uncaring parent left their infant outside. The unsupervised baby then crawled under the fence and began to head towards the road. When the baby began to cross the road, there were two cars coming from both directions. Luckily, they saw the baby and came to an abrupt stop. Unfortunately, when the baby made it to the other side, an eagle swooped down and snatched the baby, because it is a bird of prey. Fortunately, the child's life was spared by the eagle. The Department of Child Services showed up later only to confiscate the baby from the parents. The eagle wanted to adopt it, but it could not speak nor could it sign the legal documents because it was an eagle.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Whats worse than seeing a child with autism? Seeing a child doin' serious damage in a mosh pit

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you get when you cross Skyrim and Call of Duty? A video game that has similarities to Skyrim and Call of Duty.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

wut du u cull a niggre whos wyte nut a niggre

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A blonde girl walks into a screen door. She is blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what happened to the 4 year old girl who got stuck in the freezer? She froze.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops