Wal-mart didn't have the product I wanted. So I yelled at the manager until they had it. It didn't work and i was taken to jail.

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You know what's addicting? Heroine.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? half a painter.

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How do you sink a Polish submarine? Hit it with a torpedo.

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Ich bin nicht der Anführer

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Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

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Q: what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill? A: mudslide

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This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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Whats the difference between a field of corn and a dead body? The field of corn wasn't killed by severe blood loss and hemorrhaging after it was stabbed in the back, stomach and abdomen 27 times in 1987, where the escaped convicted serial killer buried it beside a river in Northern Dakota.

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what is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people and regularly attend a synagogue and pizza is and italian food that many people find to be enjoyable to eat

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What do you call a special Ed walrus? Anorexic pony ???? Discovering that a convicted sex offenderi is living nearby stirs up a range of feelings: fear, anger, insecurity and anxiety. There are many things you can do to make the situation more manageable - and channel these emotions into actions that address situations that put children most at risk for sexual harm. Learn how to identify the most common threats and concerns. Then find out the best ways you can join with others to keep everyone safe. Take action! Learn how to keep children safe Get the FAQs about the sex offender registryi Download our Tip Sheet:  Concerned about Sex Offenders in Your Neighborhood?

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What does a black man do when drives up to a STOP sign? Stops.

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Why did the homosexual man buy the antijoke book he enjoys reading

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Why did the gay guy walk into a straight bar To find the better looking guys

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A Jewish man overhears another man making a joke about the Holocaust. The Jew says, "Hey! You! My father died in the Holocaust!" The other man says, "Oh, I'm sorry. What camp was he in?" The Jew says, "Camp? No, my father had a heart attack."

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What do you call a baby who was raped and murdered? Funny

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A skeleton goes to a bar an orders a human flesh.

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McDonald. It's run by Lawers

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What's big, grey, and can't climb a tree? A car park.

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Why did Donald Duck go to college? He didn't, he's a fictional cartoon character.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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Why did the mexican cross the road? His drugs were on the other side.

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What happens when you try to rescue a cat from a tree? It jumps on your face, falls down, and dies.

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Oh, I must be hearing things.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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