what in the world is smarter than the world's smartest man? Nothing he is the smartest man.

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when ever i finish a sentence say im a man Me :i met a girl You:im a man Me: i invited her to my place You: im a man Me: we sleept together You:im a man Me:she wisperd in my ear You: im a man

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Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

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A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

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your mama is so fat she wears big pants.

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A drunk guy walks into a bar. He orders a beer and the bartender says "Hey pal, you look and act really drunk, I don't think I can serve you any more alcohol." The man looks up to the bartender and says "You're right, I'm really drunk."

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What's the difference between a blonde and a blow up doll? The blonde is a person, you sexist asshole.

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How long does it take a woman to park a car? Shouldn't take long, depends on the size of the parking spot.

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Why did the little girl fall to death? Because pigs can't fly. It's impossible.

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What happened to the Jew when he heard about the concentration camps being erected all over Germany? Nothing immediately. Then he and his family went into hiding where they were later discovered, taken to concentration camps and died along with millions of other Jews.

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A man walks up to another man and asks what time it is. He then replies " It's 2:00" The man then pulls out a sandwich and eats it

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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What do you get when you cross a Fish and a Duck? A Dish

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What was the little boy doing in the deep end of the swimming pool? Drowning.

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What did the Jews say before they got of the bus? Let's make like a Jewish kid's forskin and get the hell out of here.

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What happened when an atheist burned down the home of a priest? He was arrested, charged with arson and sentenced to 5 years in prison.

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Dallas Cowboys

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are blue Cabbage

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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what's the difference between a jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your nuts with a jew.

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Q - What do you call a bunch of white people on a bench? A - The nba - Cool Bean

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Q:How many babies does it take to paint a room? A:It depends how hard you throw them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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