- Ask me if I'm a firetruck. - Are you a firetruck? - No.

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Would you spit or swallow? Well, in circumstances when i am eating or drinking, i would swallow. Although if i had something disgusting in my mouth i would spit

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your mum

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why can't hellen keller drive? Because she is visually impared and there for it would not be safe for her to drive

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an autistic child eats its family's dogs poop and dies

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Roses are *yanks hair* Violets are *yanks hair* *sobs and yanks hair* I have tricolomania

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What did the 14 year old girl get on her birthday? A cake that read, "You're adopted"!

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What did I say when I fell of THEEeEeeeeeeee...

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A proton and a neutron talk to each other. Two atoms are walking down the street one day, and one of them says to the other: "Hey, wait up a second. I think I lost an electron" The first atom replied, "Are you sure?" The second atom said, "Oh, wait. Never mind. I found it."

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what do you call a polar bear in a bathtub? No soap, radio

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I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

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A Jew, Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. They have fun there a good time and then they go home.

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minorities

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What did the nun eat for breakfast? Baseballs.

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your mom died.

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how do you get a rat out the house you lift it up and put it outside

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NEVER

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so...um, yeah

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Alan: My Grandfather was in the SS and has a leather jacket made jews he killed. Me: Really? Alan: No, i'm korean. My grandfather wouldnt be allowed into the SS.

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What's black and fast? A treadmill.

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What is wrong with this phrase? The next line is false. The first line is true. Answer: llamas

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Q: What's grey and rocky? A: A grey rocking hair

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Whats the difference between garlic bread and a Jewish person? Garlic bread doesn't scream in the oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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