What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

Your mother is overweight. This is largely due to her sedentary lifestyle.

Why did Kelliintheraw get punched in the face? Because she is a dumbass

What do you call a person that is green, wearing plaid, and standing next to you in the elevator? What ever their name is

What do you get when you mate an elephant with a rhino? Not much of anything except inter-species animal sex, considering the fact that the two do not share enough genetic material to create any sort of offspring.

A student often slept through his alarm, which led to a lower class attendance rate and thus a poor performance on his exam

What did the black guy say when after he jumped in the pool? Wow, its kinda chilly.

Why was the boy laughing? Because

why was the horse sad his wife had terminal cancer

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

Q:What do African American men call the Internet? A:The Internet

there once was a time before bonerss it sucked it sucked real bad like that kid who never washes his gym closes bad Mason Manning JLR

(Pretend that your adopted, and no one loves you) Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents.

What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

How many licks did it take for the little boy to get to the center of the Tootsie Pop? Three, and then he choked and died.

What do you call a black guy driving an airplane? A pilot

What does? 42

Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

An alien just ate your family and all of the things you love

Ahmed walks into Abbar.

why did Max cry??? chicken

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

Why cant Michael Jackson take flying lessons? Because he overdosed on pain killers, and is now dead.

What size pants did the gorilla wear? An abnormaly large pair compared to the average human because their weight and width are porportionaly larger for their speices.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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