Why did the girl go to the hospital? Her brother dared her to jump off the second story roof of their house...

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why did the boy trip off a cliff? because he was clumsy.

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Yo momma so fat She has heart problems

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he has a frog stapled to his forehead

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Do you want to come with me? NO! oh i wanted to cum on your face. Thats god damn gay Nope thats god damn sexy.

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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If a plane crashes on the boarder of Canada and The U.S.A- Where would they burry the survivors.

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Q: What do you get when a black man dates a white lady? A: A perfectly acceptable relationship.

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What did Tom get for Christmas? Gloves, but Tom had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? NOT TOM

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THE GAME

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You can tell I have many friends because I got them to like this.

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The real Justin Beiber reallly followed me on twitter I deleted my account, set my computer on fire, scattered the ashes and killed myself

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Why did the black man win the staring contest? He's good at staring

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Why do you do when a homeless man asks you for money Scream bicycle and then run

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2 men were in a bar, One was talking to the other, "I was walking down the street someone fell." "ha" "isis it true?" "What" "isis" and a bomb went off and they all died

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What is funnier than 24? If you think numbers are funny then you could have a mental illness and that isn't quite funny.

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What did George Washington say before he crossed the Delaware? "Get in the boat."

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause he wanted to get squashed by the giant pancake.

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What's long brown and sticky? S**t

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An owl and a squirrel where siting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl then turned to the squirrel and said nothing... cos owls can't talk. The owl then eats the bird because it is a bird of prey

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How babies can you fit in a car seat? 1

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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How do you kill a Jew? The same way you kill any person. It could be gunshot, strangulation, hanging, poison etc. They are the same as every other human being, so you would kill them just like any other human being.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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