Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Why did the orange drive the tractor? Because he always wanted to go to the moon.

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why couldnt the black man fly, becuse his master said he coudnt.

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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to boys are playing football 1 ses pass tje over ses pass wot

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Henry: Say the word "really". Moe: Really. Henry: Now say the word "really" with sarcasm. Moe: Really? Henry: More sarcasm! I want you to be very sarcastic! Moe: Oh really??? Henry: There ya go!

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What did the blind, deaf, quadriplegic boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

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So a priest, a rabbi, a blonde and a black person walk into a bar. The Bar Tender says, "Is this some kind of joke"

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so an apple walks into a bar... I'm terrible at making jokes...

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There was a little boy (Jewish edition) Saten: Look father, my silk vestments make me look so much more fabulous than you! Gad: Oh! Hawt sweetie! But not as pretty as my dress... Err I mean "silks"... Anyway you are no longer my son! Which means we can do you know what ;) Saten: Hmpf! I am feel disappoint in of your dress! Gad: ITS SILKS! just *basically* a dress... Oh my gawd! You refuse to give it to your "daddy" ;) You are losar ant not gonna get to hang around this club anymore! Saten: OMFG you are so enrage! You are liek not classy or flamboyant at all anymore, sorry pimp "daddy" :/ Imma leavin! And btw Adam my secret lover has such a bigger wienersnitzel anyways, and he is totally eating my fruits if you know what I mean ;) Gad: Oh me so jelez I am completelay going to panish him! I am throwing him out of Paradise and he will only be abley to get children with women now, lulz I am liek so evel. Saten: OMG WEMEN! UR LIEK ZO EVEL! What u goin to do next huh? Forbid Sodomy? Omg tat would be so mean :(... Moral: "NEVER WEAR A FINER SILKS THAN GAD!"...Well, it starts with two flamboyant faggots fighting over who has the "prettiest silk vestments" (basically dresses)... The rest kinda kinda figures.

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What's black and blue and red all over? I don't know, that's why I was asking you.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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What size pants did the gorilla wear? An abnormaly large pair compared to the average human because their weight and width are porportionaly larger for their speices.

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How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

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A man walks by with a bat. A little girl crosses the street. He hits her with it because she is a little shit. A homeless atheist sees and reports it immeaditately to the authorities because it was child abuse.

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Why was the boy dad? Because he was taken advantage of by an older woman during ovulation and impregnated her.

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Q: How do you call a group of animals? A: Llama.

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What kind of people have fat lips? People who have gotten punched in the lip or have suffered a serious lip injury that has caused their lips to swell up.

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Why did the black man pick up a bucket of fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

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A guy walks into a toilet store and there are 3 left 1is silver 1 is wood and 1 talks he took the one that talks. the next day he is shitting and he hears the toilet "do you see what i see

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Why does a Jew, a catholic, and a buddhist eat pizza? because they like the way it tastes.

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Q: what is the best way to pick up jewish chicks. A: with a pickup line and possibly a gift such as chocolates or flowers

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why does gamma not smile because he has strokes

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Q: what did the nazi say to the other nazi A: hallo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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