Yo mamas so fat, that I need a new pair of sunglasses.

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Why did the bus crash? The driver was a loaf of bread.

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what is fun to eat but dumb when its alive? A dumb yummy candy

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hi

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What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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Feeling alone fast after opening your mouth? Feel that people ignore your conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say AHAH!... And Uhuh, and I PERFECTLY UNDERSTAND! Now YOU CAN BE APPRECIATED INSTANTLY BY A BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE SAYING!

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Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your Bike.

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Why did the girl fall of her bike? Because she got hit by a fridge!

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What did the president do for the people? ...

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how many babies dose it take to paint a fence it depends on how hard you throw them

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What do you call a group of white guys playing basketball in Philadelphia? Actually, that already seems like a pretty good summary of the situation.

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So, theoretically, if we controlled the media, what would be different then?

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What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

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What did Queen Victoria say when she saw a zombie? "Quick everybody, run, that is a zombie."

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When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Well, life isn't a physical being so chances are low that it will actually hand you lemons.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Cher. Cher who? Just Cher.

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Detroit has a low crime rate

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky, It hit one of the random green pipes.

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How many dead children can you fit in a garbage can? Give me a knife and i will find out

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why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf. That would be irresponsible/

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What's worse than Bin Weevils? Nick Clegg.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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