If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

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2 muffins are in the oven. After about 15 minutes, they both died.

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? He'd lost so much weight, due to AIDS.

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What's blue and pink and sweet? Cotton candy.

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What do you call a gay kid, a horrible singer, and has long hair for a guy? Justin Bieber

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why did the man break his arm? he didn't, someone else broke it for him

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I completely thought you where bullshitting me, how come I never noticed before? How and why?

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What happens when a right turn is finally made in NASCAR? The driver has successfully changed his tires and has been refueled, now he is pulling out of pit lane.

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Richard.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. The mailman who? Anthrax.

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Roses are red Violets are blue NO SHIT EINSTEIN!

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? Whatever their name is.

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Roeses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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Q. what does a metal slinkey and a retarded person have in common? A. you will smile watching one fall down the steps

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Knock, knock. "Who's there?" "Monica" "Monica who?" "Monica Lebinsky, your neighhbor"

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Two scientists are working in a lab. The first one asks, "Do you want some sodium?" The second one pours acid into the first one's eyes.

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Wizard: If you could get any one thing in the world, what would it be son? Son: Another father that grants more wishes.

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Why did the Germans conquer Poland so quickly? Heavy military manufacturing and Blitzkrieg battlefield tactics.

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A blonde walked into a phone pole.

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YOLO

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Why didn't the bear go snowboarding? It was hibernating

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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