What would be a good feature for this site? A search by keyword feature. (sorry...)

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You know what they say about a man with big feet! They say it's indicative of the size of his penis, although there's no scientific evidence backing this up.

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I was looking out the window on a Sunday morning. The coffee was fresh, and the air was moist. I had recieved a phone call last night on the contents of a briefcase that was to be left on my front door today. The explination was vague, and I was told to enjoy my last day. Then I died.

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What did the podiatrist say to the proctologist? That athletes foot fungus is clearing up nicely.

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what did the banana say to the orange? nothing because a banana is a fruit

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-Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Willis. -Wills who? -IT'S ME WILLIS. YOUR SON! -Whatchu talking bout Willis, I ain't got no son. -Remember Bill, my father? I was conceived on your 20th birthday party. .... - Is he fat white Bill, Mexican Bill, or Billette the shemale? And thus, poor Willis jumps off a bridge, committing suicide, because his biological mother turns out to be a shemale screwing whore.

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How do you get the icing in the middle of a cupcake? Cupcake raper...Duh

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Why did the pollock jump into the sea? A pollock is a fish.

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What do you call a man that paints on a his face and wears big shoes? Lady Gaga.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch names

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Why was the blonde fired from her job as a nurse? Because she ate all the babies in the nursery (She didn't even leave one for the director of the hospital to eat!)

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did dean carmon say to his brother? - I don't know I'm not his brother

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When life gives you lemons, chuck them at the creepy man across the block.

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Yo mama so fat when she went to the ocean the whales started to sing we are family even though your fatter than me

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What do you call a chicken who crosses a road? Nothing, its still a chicken

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Q:Why did the rockstar put rollerskates on his rocking chair? A:Because he wanted people to see him rocking and rolling on it.:)

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Come over here boy and have a cigar, you're gonna go far. Congratulations on being the first human cannonball, please use the cigar to light the fuse. Happy landings.

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What do you call a cat that gets pushed into the pool? Angry as hell.

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How many kids with A.D.D. does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride?

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves when he realizes he is supposed to be at a business meeting

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"Why did the chicken cross the-" "Gosh! Why can't we just live in a world where a chicken can simply cross the road without being questioned about it's motives?!?!" ~McKenna<3

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What starts with F and ends with Uck? F U C K

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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