Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer. And a free haircut.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

q: whats fat hairy and always eats mcdonalds a playboy model i lied about everything

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Chuck Norris can fly around the world in under 2 days. In an airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

thumb_up thumb_down

jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

yo mamma so fat she seen a yellow train full of white people and she said stop that twinkie

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Yo mamma so black, she uses armor all instead of lotion...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

KEVIN CRUMMY SMELLS LIKE SARAHS (I)

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you get when you cross a blonde with Nickelodon? You get Dora because she is allways telling you what to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did Roadrunner name his car? Turbo Tax.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was baked.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Show me the money! Said the man last wednesday.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Chad find dead people all over the playground? Ask him, it's not like he's pointing a gun at your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you prevent a baby from crawling all over the place? You nail his hands to the floor

thumb_up thumb_down -9

An American and Russian are arguing about their country. The American says "I can do things you can't. I can walk into the White House and into the Oval Office. I can bang my hands on my President's desk and say "Mr. Obama, I don't like the way you're running your country." The Russian says, "I can do that." The American says, "No, you can't." The Russian says, "Sure I can. I can go to Vladimir Putin's office and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Mr. Obama's running his country."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a deaf black man? Well, if you did not already know his name, you would first have to contact a member of his family, or a friend, and ask them, as even if you were able to communicate the question of 'what is your name?' to the man, it is well known that the speech of deaf people is nowhere near as clear as that of people who are able to hear.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Where do bees go to the bathroom? In the hive - they're incontinent.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the catholic priest say to the little boy? Nothing sexual, that kind of behavior isn't as widespread as people think.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Why did YUR MOM cross the road? To go slap her annoying-ass twelve year old for using "your mom" as an insult.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Did you hear about the guy who lost his whole left side??? Yeah he's all right now!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Don't you hate the retarded smart people who think anti-jokes are all about really explaining but adding sarcasm? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops