OBAMA

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I get no respect at all. That's because I am a liar and a thief with no redeeming qualities.

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Jack and Jill went down the hill. And were lost and burnt in hell.

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Boy: whats for dinner Kidnapper: beans and weiners

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What do you call a black man forcing two young girls into his car with a gun? A Police Officer.

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What's blue, cold and makes people cry? A dead baby

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a woman gives birth at the hospital in china and then the doctor comes in and says doctor- i have good news and bad news for your baby mother-what is it doctor- bad or good mother-bad doctor-the bad news is that the baby is a girl and the good news is that your baby has cancer

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When is a bus not a bus? When it explodes.

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What did the fish say to the human ? He didn't say anything fish can't speak.

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What does a black guy do to a white girl when the lights go off and there's a bed in the room? They go to sleep so they can have enough energy to work their two jobs and provide for their family after they've been evicted from their home.

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What do you call a fat man that breaks into your house at 2 a.m. and steals your money and your television? Probably a dumbass, a jackass, a moron, an idiot, or something in that general area.

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What happens when you shoot a giraffe? It dies.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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What did the kid say to the ginger? You're gay.

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the man the invented it doesnt want it, the man that wants it doesnt need it, and the man the needs it doesnt know it....what is it? a coffin.

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Why does the man leave the store, with two lemons in his shopping bag? Because lemons happened to be one of the items of food he had purchased.

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Chuck Norris doesn't answer the phone - he doesn't have one at the moment

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How did the black guy, get a nice car, house, and attire? He went to college, and got a job.

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Billy wanted a pet...and now he got cancer...

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Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken would greatly appreciate it if you stayed out of its personal life.

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what did one toilet say to the other toilet? i would love to flush u

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Doctor, Doctor, I feel like I don't know anyone... Uh...who are you?

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A young man read a book. He then went back to the library to return the book, but got killed in a car crash on the way there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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