Your mother is so fat that when she went to get weighed she was diagnosed as clinically obese and later broke down into tears.

What's black and blue, and read all over? The Merriam-Webster dictionary.

Who like vibrating dildos? Cammy

Nathaniel Nugnes walks into a bra

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

elliot forsythe is a paedo

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

If you live in the 'living' room, what do you do in the others? You die.

What do you call a black prostetut with braces. A black and decker pecker wrecker

Have you seen stevie wonders house? Nope... Neither has he

squash squash who squash my ass

My Boyfriend

Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

What did pikachu say when his trainer was murdered? Pikachu.

Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is very bad looking

-Why Peter is going to mall for buying some beer? -Because he was 18 and he was able to do it.

what do you call a white man in a black neighborhood a minority

Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

Which came first the egg or the chicken? The chicken because eggs can't cross the road

What did the lion say on a hot day in Africa? Nothing, lions can't talk.

How can you tell if a substance is an acid or a base just by looking at it? You can't. pH or Litmus paper would be necessary in order to determine whether a substance is an acid or a base.

2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory? Quality control or some other function.

Tim likes girls

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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