What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Doctor, everybody despises me. That cant be totally true you despicable piece of shite!

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What did the oboe say to the trombone? SQUEEEEEEK

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Why did the man die after getting his picture taken The camera was a gun

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Why? Whats wrong?

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Why was the boy un-able to talk He was retarded

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A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

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Why was 8 afraid of 9? Because 9 bullied him until he became anorexic.

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There are two monkeys sittingn a bathtub. The first one says, "Scratch my back Mack." The second one says, "That's okay Joe I've got a radio of my own." (laugh like you think it is funny)

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What do an elephant and a grape have in common? Well, depending on your ideological views they are either both God's creations or two examples of species which have evolved over time. That is all.

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why was the man's arm bleeding? Because he just got shot in the arm...

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What's awesome about going to a no-pants party? Getting stabbed 2 times.

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Q.What did the homeless kid get from santa? A. Play Doe. Because he was a good boy. Q.what did the Rich Kid get form santa? A Coal. Because he was a bod boy. The rich kid then got mad and threw the coal at the homeless kid hitting him on the head which killed him of enturnaly bleeding.

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Whats long, hard, and has cum in it? Cucumber

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a man and his son pull up out side b&q and the man says to his son run in there and get me a black n decker and the boy goes in and is standing in the power tools isle and he looks round and there is a lady standing next to him so he hit her, the woman happened to be black and 2 minutes later a security guard rushes round and says son what did u do that for and the son said my dad told me to come in and get a black n decker!

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Did you hear about the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13 for sexual content/nudity, language, and some violence.

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Roses are red Violets are blue this doesn't rhyme i like trains.

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Q: Why wasn't the baby playing with his blocks? A: Because his face was stapled to the floor

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What do you call it when a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Vicar meet for a drink at the bar? A social gathering.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Sometimes people get confused when sentences don't end the way they elephant.

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its's not rape if you yell "suprise!"

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Q: How many light bulbs does it take to change a blonde? A: One, if she tries to swallow it.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? gang rape

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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