What's long, hard, and wet? A difficult college exam that fell in a puddle of water

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'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

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What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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Why was the old man climbing the flag pole? Because he had Alzheimer, and he was losing his grasp of reality.

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dead battery come on down

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Hey, you must be a parking ticket. Because you are on the windshield of my car.

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Why is the sky blue? Because it is

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Did you here about the 2 guys who wanted to go to Paris? They didnt go!

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What did the asshole say to his friend behind him? Fart

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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Your mom is so fat that she has trouble walking up the stairs because she gets easily winded.

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Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 is right behind 7 and he's naked.

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A homeless man comes home from work.

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers. -Del Primm

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What do you call a black guy with a gun? A soldier.

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Whats the saddest part about the sandy hook shooting? There were still bullets in the clip... Im going to hell by the way.

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What did the African Man get in Africa Aids

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your mom is so stupid that she is suffering from down's syndrome, and has a shorter life expectancy than normal people.

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what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a girl? Consensual sexual intercourse between two young adults.

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A devout Islamic man walks into a weapons of mass destruction store he is shocked and appalled at how easily such dangerous weapons can be bought.

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knock knock! who is there? its knock! knock who??? knock knock... who is there.... i told you its knock... knock who??? knock knock... WHO IS THERE!! OMG I TOLD YOU ITS KNOCK! KNOCK WHO!! WHO IS KNOCK! KNOCK KNOCK OMG WTF! HOLY SHIT WHO IS THERE! ITS KNOCK WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER OUR WHOLE LIVES! KNOCK WHO?? KNOCK KNOCK WHY DONT YOU REMEMBER ME! oh knock knock from next door! who is there???? jk.. knock...knock......omg put down the gun knock knock stop i love you knock its not worth it!! NO KNOC!!! GUNSHOT* KNOCK NOOOOO!!! I LOVED YOU SOMEONE CALL 911!! OMG KNOCK WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH KNOCK WHY!!!!

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what is big round and fat? Your MOM

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ask me what my temperpedic bed is like. ''whats it like?'' i dont know ive never had one actully.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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