- Anti Joke

How do you get a dog to stop humping you? Pick him up and suck his dick.

You know what's funny? You can't spell manslaughter without laughter.

vbh

yo momma is so fat her doctor recommended a new healthy diet.

2 men walked into a bar. the other one ducked.

Why did the man hang himself? Because his pistol misfired.

Knock Knock Who's there? Me!! .... me who? Just open the motherf***ing door!! MOM!?! Theres a rapist at the door. MOM: No Jimmy, thats your father

What did Shakespeare say to the software designer? Nothing.

There was a black man and a mexican woman at a bar. The women says, "Why are all racial jokes about men?" The black man replies, "Because it is believed by some that males are superior to women." The woman went to go order a book from amazon.

Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

What do you get when you hit a kid with a hockeystick? arrested.

What did the poor sickly orphan get for Christmas? Nothing.

What do you call a blonde with great maths skills? A smart person with blonde hair.

What`s the best part about twenty-three year olds? there are twenty of them

whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

Q: What do you call the first black guy who swam in the ocean? A: Triangle.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How can you make sure your friend wont die of cancer? Decapitate him

Whats the difference between a walnut and a baby ? Ones fun to hit with a hammer and the other is a walnut

How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: "My wife's dead."

I know there are, its not the illuminati, its not reptilian shapeshifters, nor Gods politicians nor the human condition. Its society today as it stands, they did not have the right to attack us, but if we had surpassed them, they would have lost all power, they are the relics of the past, and no matter how many of them stand, they do not grow, and what does not grow, stagnates until it finally dies. Lose hope in people most all you want, but not in the few that truly believe in you for all the good reasons in the world, perhaps we are idealists, or maybe we know that with you by our side, what we see as ideals, is something you can make come true.

So a guy with ADD walks into a... Hey Look! A Chicken!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops