What did the black man say to the other black man? We both share the same ethnicity

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A scientists walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him, and asks him what he wants to drink. The scientist replies, "Just a coke, today. I'm driving."

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because dogs are absent-minded and they don't know any better.

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What peels, is a fruit, yellow and tastes like a bannana? A bannana.

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What did the downsyndrome get for christmas? Aborted

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra drinks a bear and leafs .....

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Roses are red I have a phone,no texts me am forever alone~The Jokers

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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What's worse than hitting your funny bone on a chair............... Hearing one person say "its friday" then realizing that you are now singing

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What's the difference between men and women? I really can't tell anymore, there's so many goddamn transvestites.

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A mother and father heard their young son sobbing in his room, so they ran upstairs to see what the problem was. When they got to his room, they found the older son was dead and hanging from the ceiling. And the younger son was actually laughing, not crying.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Everything's brown Who shit on my flowers

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks.

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Knock knock Who's there? I eat myp.

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who has brown eyes blonde hair and red lips a human-being

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Knock! Knock! Who's There? The Police. Open the damn door. Nobody Is Home.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it doesn't have the capacity for rational thought and decision-making and was subsequently hit by a car.

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Why did the jewish family move? Their house burnt down. They lost everything and was tragic

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What did the (real) wrestler say to the U.F.C guy? Probably something nice because most U.F.C fighters were wrestlers.

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A black man is driving a nice car when he's suddenly pulled over by the police. "Do you know why I pulled you over?" asks the cop. "No officer" replies the black man. "You have a taillight out. However I'm going to just let you off with a warning because you seem like an upstanding citizen. Have a nice day."

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I was lying about the wheels.

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Two men are talking: Bob: "Do you like fishsticks?" Joe: "Yes I do." Bob: "Your a gay fish."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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