Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? Because after twenty long years of monotonous nagging, he finally snapped.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why is six scared of seven? Because seven is in his house with an axe.

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Q: What do you call cheese that's not your own? A: Someone else's cheese

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Knock Knock Who's There? Children Protective Services. Your kids are dead.

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Who would win in a chess duel between Ender Wiggin and Artemis Fowl? Artemis Fowl will calculate the optimal path to move his pieces. Ender Wiggin will calculate the optimal path to kill the queen, so all the other pieces just sort of fall down.

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roses are red facebook is blue no mutual friends who the heck are you

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A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

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What's worst then finding a worm in your apple??? Yo momma

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

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Factors that can increase your risk of prostate cancer include: Older age Being black Family history of prostate cancer Obesity My friend's grandfather is black and obese, his 70th birthday is tomorrow and his dad died of prostate cancer

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A man is in prison and one day his cellmate offers to help him escape. The cellmate tells the man to quickly hide under the covers on his bed and that he'll instruct him further once the security guard passes. The man is then raped. Savagely.

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There is a newly wed couple, a biker and his biker lady friends. The newly wed man says to his wife, "Pass the honey, honey". One of the biker chicks looks over. Five minutes later the man says to his wife, "Pass the sugar, sugar". They biker chick looks back at them and then asks the biker man, "Why don't you treat us like that?" " You know your right. Pass the bacon... lovely". And from that day on the bikers lived in peace and harmony.

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Whats's the similarities between an apple and a cat? They both have legs except for the apple.

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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So I'm balls deep in this turkey dinner....... then i proceed to ejaculate into it and ruin my family's Thanksgiving along with their perception of me.

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When life gives you Live Aid, celebrate the fact that you've just gone back in time 27 years and somehow cheated death temporarily.

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Cows go moo.

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What do you call a tub full of water? A bathtub!

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Friends are like snowflakes, they go away when you pee on them.

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A man says to a woman, "hey, bitch, shut your fucking mouth you goddamn hooker." Most hookers are used to it.

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What's red, white, and blue? light purple

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a dog walks into a drug store and orders a bone. what does the cashier do? she wakes up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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