A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

why did dicks dicks the dicks dicks? because you're gay and dicks

Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Well, she did.

Many men trespass on my property to taste my milk based beverages. They insist that it's quality is superior to yours. I could teach you how to make such milk based beverages, but I would have to levy a fee.

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The shark replies i dont have cancer just a terrible drinking problem.

What's funnier than a dead baby? Everything.

Why did the leaf fall of the tree? Because it was fall

Hi.

If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic

I need a side cart on my motorcycle just for my diick

What's the difference between and Jew and a boy scout? The boy scout returned from camp.

What's worse than getting in a car accident? Being turned into dust and swarmed by bees while on fire

Matt is a Duster!

why didn't the dog run after the ball? he was blind.

Did you hear about the guy that came out the closet while at school? Yeah, Dylan Hodge is a dick.

What did the cop say to the black man being arrested? His Miranda rights.

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a doorstep? A: Matt.

Why did the unicorn cross the road? i dont know. unicorns arent real

Why did the man die? He had a heart attack.

Yo momma's so fat that she's gotta get a special door that will allow her to get through.

Why did the black man order a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken? His wife just died in a tragic car accident and he is a horrible cook.

Kefka > Sephiroth

I don't have ADHD I just- Hey look a squirrel!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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