What happens when a man farts a fancy memorial party in a ball room in England... At least 1000 people die somewhere on earth in the time his butt squeezed out that fart. And I'm sure someone gets raped.

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A: You can't wear cleats on a trampoline.

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What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? You don't call him anything... You call for help.

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why did john wear a red hat? because blue is his favorite color

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*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What is the difference between a person with Alzheimer's and Aids? 24!

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A black man walks into a bar and orders a shot. He then precedes to drink it.

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Knock Knock .... Knock Knock .... Pum Pum Pum .... LAPD! open the door!

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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Roses are red Violets are violet Why does it go like that anyways? ~Yasmin~

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What do Ethiopian children do at night? Starve

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If you die laughting, How are you telling this to me?

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Why did Captain Obvious crossed the road? Because that's the name of the chicken

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What do you call a horny horse? A unicorn.

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What is just as real as a unicorn? World peace

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Q: why was the women out of the kitchen? A: Probably to partake in one of her many hobbies.

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Why did the man with no arms fall of his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him

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Why did the guy get hit by a bus? He walked out into traffic.

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The Bible

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Why couldn't Timmy ride his tricycle? He was run over by a bus.

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The ULTIMATE Street Fighter shotokan safety guide one Turbo masters tournament X Revenge Kombat Super Ultimate Alpha Omega F*** Y** Edition! 1. I case an attack breaks both your legs, use your last remaining strength in order to kick the air with one leg, while keeping the other one straight down, then immediatedly yell MYLEGSARBROKEN! In order to receive medical attention. And please remember: If Hadou can, then you Sure can! 2. DLC ONLY 3 DLC ONLY 4. DLC Only. ...hayball rolls trough... 9001: DLC only

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Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

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Q: You know what's worse than being a mother? A: Almost everything, because being a mother is not a bad thing, in fact, it's a wonderful thing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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