A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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If you helped Jack on the horse, would you help Jack off the horse? Of course; if he was too short to climb onto the saddle then it would be irresponsible and potentially dangerous not to help him off. As his riding instructor, you would be liable for any injuries Jack sustained had he attempted to dismount the horse with no assistance.

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What did spongebob say to patrick? Im ready! im ready!

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings

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Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

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What did the small baby faucet say to the daddy faucet? Nothing, they are inanimate objects and cannot talk.

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a man and his son pull up out side b&q and the man says to his son run in there and get me a black n decker and the boy goes in and is standing in the power tools isle and he looks round and there is a lady standing next to him so he hit her, the woman happened to be black and 2 minutes later a security guard rushes round and says son what did u do that for and the son said my dad told me to come in and get a black n decker!

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What do you call 55,000 clowns exiting a small car? Fiction.

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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why was the dog barking?? bryan is a douche..... get it troupe.

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What smells like weed? the person who smoked it.

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Did you hear the one about the nascar driver who couldn't pass his road test? No. It's true, he couldn't pass his road test.

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whats red and bad for your teeth... A brick.

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Friends are like trees. If you hit them with an axe enough times, they'll fall over.

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Q: How do you kill an Asian? A: Deprive of calculator or shoot it.

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Why did the black man get arrested? He sold cocaine.

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i felt like burning some calories so i lit a fat kid on fire

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sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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Whats green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A golf course

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How do you kill a 1000 Ethiopians? Throw a biscuit off a cliff. JimBoto

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They found Michael Jackson dead in his house and found Madeleine McAnn in the cupboard 8P

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i said wut wut in the butt!

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how do you kill a man? slowly saw off all their limbs and then jump up and down on the torso and let all the organs fly out

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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