Person 1: Knock knock. Person 2: Come in.

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Whats less comfortable than a metal bench? The trunk of a car when you're being abducted.

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Why can't february march Because april may

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A little boy went to a sleep over . They watched a episode of pokemon and the flashing lights triggered the boys epilepsy he was driven to hospital and is recovered.

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Yo mama's so fat because she has a glandular disorder that makes her fat.

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Q: How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A: One, possibly two if the lightbulb is high up and someone has to hold the ladder.

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Who loves George Clooney? George Clooney

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Why do I exist? Because my mom gave birth to me.

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Suicide Johnny and the Go Kill Yourselves

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A mexican, Japanese, and American man are eating lunch one day at work by the window. The Mexican says, "Wow! If I get a taco one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The Japanese man says, "Wow! If I get a bowl or ramen one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The American says" If I get grilled cheese one more time, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The next day, the mexican jumped off because he got a taco. Then, the japanese man jumped off for getting ramen. Then, the American jumped off for getting a grilled cheese sandwhich. At the funeral, the mexican wife said, "Oh if i knew he was gonna jump, I would'nt have packed it." The japanese wife said, "If I knew he was gonna jump, I wouldn't have packed it either." The American wife didn't say anything because she was hit by a bus.

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What do you call a man with a shovel through his head? Unless he was carrying ID when he died; John Doe.

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What did the guy say to the other guy? LOOK AT MY EYEBROWS!!!!!!!

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Roses are red violets are blue, he is for me and not for you, he's too ugly you can have him

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Why did the boys uncle stop calling him? His uncle died of cancer 3 months ago.

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Why did you cross the road. You didn't your looking at this joke

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a guy is driving home his wife calls him and she say's be careful there is a lunatic driving on the wrong side of the road towards traffic he then reply saying they all are

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Why can't penguins fly? ......It is against their evolutionary state.

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What's green and has wheels? A chinese race car driver.

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A hot girl walks past a boy and the boy turns around and watches her pass. The girl sees the boy staring and asks with a slight attitude, "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied, "Well, I noticed you walking towards me and I couldn't help but think 'Hmm..she looks familiar. Have I seen her at school? No. Work? No. Somewhere else? Perhaps.' I then concluded that I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at. What are YOU looking at?"

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a dyslexic Satan worshiper sold his soul to Santa

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what does a baby sound like in a microwave. i don't know i was masturbating

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? a genetically disfigured fish please stop pollution.

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Why did the dog bark at the tall white man? Because the tall white man was in the process of attempting to rob the house in which said dog was situated. The dog was merely defending its patch.

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Q: What do you get when you put a boy and a girl together in a locked room? A: Blood and gore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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