Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? Neither have i

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My cat used to be afraid of storms. But now it's dead.

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"Did you fall from heaven?...Cause your face is really messed up."

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What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

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How do you make a puppy stop barking? Throw a brick at it.

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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Two nuns walk into a bar. There is a monkey between them, that they are both holding hands with. The bartender looks to them, and says "Hello sisters, I am sorry, but we do not allow wild animals into the bar. He's gonna have to wait outside," to which one of the nuns responds, "Oh, do not worry, this is no monkey, this is one of our sisters." The bartender is very confused. He chuckles, and says "Alright, well then your sister is going to have to wait outside." The sisters look at each other confusedly, but take the monkey outside, put it on a leash, and tie it to a pole. They proceed back inside, have a few drinks, and leave. The next night, the bar is a little more crowded. The bartender looks up and sees the two nuns entering. He checks to make sure there is no monkey with them, and there is not, so he goes back to serving drinks. A few minutes later, the two nuns are at the front of the bar ready to order drinks. The bartender smiles at them, "No monkey this time?" he asks. "Not tonight," says one of the nuns. "Alright," says the bartender, "what can I get you?" "I'll take a double bourbon," says one of the nuns. "I'll have a gin and tonic, and she'll have the same" says the other nun, motioning to a rhinoceros on her left. "What the fuck!!" yells the bartender. "How did you get this inside?! Where did you even get a rhinoceros?" He realizes these questions are unimportant, and runs to call animal control. By the time he turns around, however, the rhinoceros is gone. He goes to talk to the bouncer. "Dude, why do you keep letting in wild animals?" asks the bartender. "The hell are you talking about?" asks the bouncer. "Last night, two nuns walked in with a monkey, and tonight they somehow got a rhino past you. You didn't see that??" the bartender snaps. "Three nuns came in last night, and three came in tonight. No monkey, no rhino," the bouncer tells him. Meanwhile, as they walked home to the convent, one of the nuns says "Man, I haven't been drunk in weeks." One of the other nuns turns to her and says, "Well, maybe you should stop turning into an animal every time we get into a bar."

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Two black guys walk into a bar. Bartender asks them what they want to drink.

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how do you stop a bus? shout FOR ALLAH!

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? Probably just one.

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How do you make Sasuke cry? Kill his family

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What 10 inches long and wont be getting sucked this valentines day? Whitney Houstons crack pipe

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Penis-biter

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I'm pretty sure this site has been taken over by 12 year olds... None of these are funny

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Michal j. fox has Parkinsons disease. He is tired of losing at jenga

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haha women's rights.....what a joke.

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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What is the most effective abstinence plan? There is none.

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What's worse than the holocaust? nothing it was a terrible act in history

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Why am i so sexy? Because a dog raised me.

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What do you call a fat priest? Obese

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who is driving? They take turns due to the fact it is a long trip.

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Why did the mother have an abortion? Because she thought it would best financially for her current family.

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how do you tell the difference between a jew and a muslim? you ask them what their religion is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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