what did helen keller name her dog? scruffy

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Q: What's big, yellow and can't swim? A: A school bus full of children.

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Scenario: 2 guys with big feet and a camels Anus are hiking on Mount Everest with a set of elephants dildos Man 1: what's the difference between a Volkswagen and a clock? Man 2: what? Man 1: you can't toboggan of a green house roof with a tub of Vaseline and a ostrich party on lady gaga's Anus

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting Doctor Interru- You have cancer.

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What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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Whats the difference between a person with cancer and breakfast? Breakfast is important

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Three decapitated children walk into a bar..... If you are laughing at this....what the hell is wrong with you?

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Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? All over. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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I like poop in my butt

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What did one duck say to the other duck? Nothing, ducks cannot talk.

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Gotta go Fast Gotta go Faster Faster Fasterfasterfaster! Moving at the speed of sound I'm the quickest hedgehog around Got ourselves a situation Start getting a new location Without any explanation On top of relaxation! Go- Go- Go- Don't blink Don't think Just Go go go go G-g-g-g-go go! Sonic, he's on the run Sonic, he's number one Sonic, he's coming next so watch out for Sonic X! Gotta go fast, gotta go faster faster faster fasterfasterfaster Go go go go go go go go go! Sooooniiiiic X!!

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What do you call a handyman with no arms? By his name.

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What happened in your mom's locked bedroom last night I don't know

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What's worse than a bee sting? Getting shot in the head

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Yesterday, my friend said I should facebook him. So I slammed a book into his face.

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Why did a jew die? It got killed by a nazi.

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A black guy walks into a bar. He drinks some wine and exits the bar. -Lets Go Mets, not Yankees

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Now this is a story all about how, my life got flipped, turned upside down. Now I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, and I'll tell you how I lost my job at the tire plant, and how, being out of work and unable to find a new job, I was unable to pay my mortgage. The bank repossessed my house, my wife left me and took custody of the kids, and I ended up having to sell all my remaining possessions and move to a new city in order to try and find employment.

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What do you call a monkey lost in a desert? A donkey who was forgotten by his owner.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was stapled to the head of a penis that belonged to an asian man

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How did the black man get put in jail? He didn't, he never did anything illegal

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How do you fit four elephants in a car ? Two in the front and two in the back

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Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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What did the egg say to the cup? I love your hairdo! Girl, who is your stylist?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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