What do you get when ned puts toast in the toaster? A fucking massive sperm whale.

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What did the oak tree say to the pine tree? Nothing tress dont speak regardless of the kind.

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suck my balls mr.garison

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What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? there are twenty of them

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I'd really wanted to design a car, and then craft some sort of prototype dream car and concepts but sadly, I can't even draw a straight line.

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a man walked into a bar. the bartender asked why he was annoyed. he answered " people keep on telling this joke and I'm tired of the making me get drunk

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I never asked for this.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Easter? A: Diabetes

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When life throws you lemons, duck cuz they freakin' hurt

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So, a man walks into a bar. Suddenly, the universe around him cracks, unable to sustain the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

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Whats better than seeing a worm in your apple... Reading the the next anti-joke.

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roses are red, violets are blue, my name is dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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How many blondes does it take to dye their own hair black and act in an intelligent, sensible manner?

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Someone offers your friend one of two things he say's "choose witch one you want" your friends asks you and you say "if i were you, i'd be ugly"

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What do you get if you give a black man more than 5 watermelons? Jeff the Killer.

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A man walks into a bar, he asks if the bartender knows where Starbucks is. The bartender finds this exceptable and shows him the way.

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how many jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? none their all dead.

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What's the difference between a McDonald's and Michael Jackson? One is a fast FOOD restaurant, while the other likes having sex with little boys.

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a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse replies "my wife died yesterday." the next day the bartender wakes up and realises that it didn't happen and that he is a drunk asshole with no life.

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Whats the difference between the floor and the ceiling? One of them is higher!

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I love you. You love me. I killed you're family. No you're an orphan.

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A Pilot.

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what unique about 3 red signs and 1 blue sign right next to eachother? there all the same colors!!!!except for the blue sign.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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