Q: What would George Washington do if he were alive today? A: Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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1 111111 1 1 11111111111 1 1 111111 1

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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What do you call a black man in an envelope? A tiny black man

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. Then the man pays for the beer and drinks the beer.

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Why did the woman die? She was hit by a bus.

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why is your grandfather climbing up a pole? hes not

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

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Knock Knock. Whos there? I am the danger! Danger who? I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!

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An Admiral walks into Ackbar...

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There was an Englishman a Welshman and a Scotsman, all of whom were nationals of the United Kingdom.

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My kids are mistakes.

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See you ******* dogface! All right? You're a compulsive *********** sit on that swivel! Stop swearing!

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Man: Knock knock Man 2: who's there Alzheimer's patient: to get to the other side!

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What do you say to a cat with a helmet on? Silly cat, you rhyme with hat but you shouldn't wear one.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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How do you put 4 elephants inside a Volkswagen? You'd have to the change the interior design of the car and probably cut most of the roof. How do you put a Giraffe inside a Volkswagen? You ask her nicely to squeeze in between the four elephants...

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What did the dead man say to his best friend? Nothing.

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The snake had no skatebord to put johnnys refrigirator because the bettles mom had stolen the clowns purse were his parking had been for the airplane higway stop.

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Ron Paul for President!

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What did the lone KKK member do when he passed 10 large, muscular black men in the street? He did not tell them that he was a member of the KKK.

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Why was the mohel touching the little boy's penis? Because that's his job!

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? lettuce lettuce who? Lett-uce be friends

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What's green and blue that is shaped like the earth? The earth

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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