What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you've already told her twice.

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What's up? A direction...

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9/11/01 walks into a bar

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What is the secret to losing weight? Limb Amputation.

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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Man: Excuse me sir, is this where I turn in my library book? Farmer: You must be really lost, this is a farm.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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you mother is so stupid that it takes her quite a while to understand jokes

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What could be worse than a giant paint bubble? The Holocaust.

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i am a slasher, a slasher of prices to get to the other side. poop goo goo gaga

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Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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MICHAEL

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What do you do when you do what the do is the do for the do to do what you're doing that's done for what she did if you didn't do what not to do? ^error

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Q: Ask me how far have you gone with a girl? A: Mexico

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Ashton Kutcher meets a fine cougar at a bar and the cougar fatally wounded his throat.

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Whats pink and slippery? A pink slipper.

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Her Majesty's Government of the United Kingdom of Great Britain

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What do Chinese people call Chinese food? Food.

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Pick up lines: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're wearing a university of Tennessee sweatshirt. If I could rearrange the alphabet to put 'U' and 'I' together, I would not do it because I would have to reorganize all of my alphabetized files. Is it hot in here to you or am I experiencing early signs of a stroke?

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My aunt said slow and steady wins the race....... She died in a fire

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Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

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are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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