So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

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What's brown and wears glasses? A poo with bad eyesight.

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what do you get when you cross a man and a horse? Collision

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A man walked into a bar, he then fell to the ground screaming in pain.

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Why is it not safe for turkeys to do maths? Because they don't have the mental capacity to carry out the calculations correctly, which would be a danger in jobs such as engineering or the space industry. Furthermore, they are unable to understand the concept of numbers or symbols and therefore have no motivation to solve mathematical problems; and even if they did, they don't have the dexterity or education to write out the solutions.

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My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

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a dyslexic boy prays to dog.

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What is the worst thing to say to a dying person? After you die I'm going to defile your corpse, nan.

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babe whos moaning? are you with another woman? guy:god damn if you would stay in the kitchen we would never have any problems.

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What do you call a black man forcing two young girls into his car with a gun? A Police Officer.

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Knock knock Who's there? FBI

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A man calls customer service. A man in India helps him with his problem.

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what did the bus driver say to the black man when he got on the bus? nothing, carl has become very anti-social since his brother died

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I can count to potato.

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How do you put a baby in a blender? Feet first, so you can see its expression. How do you get a baby out of a blender? With chips.

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What happened when the man lost his sandwich? He couldnt eat.

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What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

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If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

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What would happend if two nyan cats crashed into each other? It would be a great impact and we'd all be sad.

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What's worse than killing 6,000,000 Jews? Killing 6,000,001.

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...and the rabbit says, "How 'bout that schnitzel!"

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac over off a cliff? A Cadillac seats 5

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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