Chicken eats your pie filled with monkey guts!!

thumb_up thumb_down -50

His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are red, Violets are blue.. And IDGAF!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn't there. I saw him there again today; I've been sectioned. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Matthew Baker

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats Do You call people, on the top floor of a Double-Decker bus? Passengers

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Y couldn't you stop the bowling ball? Because it was going down a hill.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Pilot: We need to lighten the load of this plane Italian: I'll throw out these pizzas, there are too many of them in my country Mexican: I will throw out these tacos, there are just too many of them in my country The american stares in horror at the two men, the pizza and tacos were their only food and they were lost in the Himalayas.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

hola said the chinese man

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats the answer to life? im not sure

thumb_up thumb_down -3

When crossing the river, why the old lady die? She was hit by a falling brick that fell from an airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken had no legs and was therefore incapable of committing to such a challenge.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Why did the Mexican mother leave her baby in the hot car during summer? A: Because she was irresponsible and forgetful.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

they call me the green lantern because my little sister died in chemical fire

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's worse than losing the remote? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many fish fingers does it take to change a lightbulb? Five.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you get rich? Sell knives at warped tour.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk and leave. 2 hours later there's a newscast about two drunken men who died in a car accident. It wasn't them, the newscast about them came shortly after

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Because she wasnt wearing a seat belt.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What did Christopher Colombus say to his men before they boarded the boat to sail around the world? Get on the boat.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

roses are red violets are blue cookie monster is gonna eat you big bird is yellow you look mellow dont forget elmo to

thumb_up thumb_down -36

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? It varies. Alzheimer's is a very slow progressing disease, and many people suffering from it are capable of a wide variety of a number of everyday activities.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats big brown and sticky A sappy oak tree

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops