Why couldn't the bartender sell alcoholic beverages? He got fired

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Do knock-knock jokes apply to homeless people?

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Did you hear about the constipated mathematician who broke his calculator? He went to the shops and bought some laxatives and a new calculator.

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Why is there world hunger? Because you touch yourself at night.

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why is pie good. because it just is.

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You know what's natural? Bears.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being unaware of his surroundings, the chicken was startled by an oncoming motor vehicle. Due to the animals vapid logic an reasoning, based on impulse it quickly ran to the other side of the street to avoid its imminent death by the speeding automobile. Unknowingly, the chicken had reached the other side of the road,

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A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park.

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Q:If pigs ever played basketball, then what sound would they make? A:Oink-oink

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What did the boy do when he was cold? Got a blanket.

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Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?? Theres one less drunk.

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What did the elephant say to the clown? Swell, morning isn't it?

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What do you call Magic Johnson in a wheel chair? A tragedy, especially considering his past struggles with HIV.

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How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

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Little Timmy walks into an ice-cream store. He dies on impact.

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Whats long and hard? a pole

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A Man: Why does it seem as though you always find what you need in the last place you look? Another Man: Probably because you don't continue to look.

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knock knock whose there open the door open the door who just open the door so i can come inside

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house in her back yard? -No Neither did she

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if i get 1,000 likes ill kill your hole family

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Her tits are so big that they would provide adequate nourishment for any future offspring.

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Q:Why did the retarded student get called down to the office? A:Because both his parents died in a car accident.

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why did the Chinese guy take steroids? He didn't he's naturally small.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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