Girl: What's up? Guy: If I told you, would you sit on it?

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Q:how many ping-pong balls do you need te get a crocodile off of a slide ? A:none, because an engine doesn't have doors

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Why does no one like fat people? Because of Jesse Ziegenbein

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Finn Davidson is cool, no he's not, yes he is

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Why did the Jewish girl fall off the swing? Because Amon Goeth shot her in the head from his balcony with his rifle. --Amon Goeth's friend

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what is the difference between babies and trampolines? you take your shoes off when jumping on a trampoline

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not Heath Ledger.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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What did the Asian say to his racist friend? You're racist

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Whats green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A Pool Table. Use your imagination.

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Hit him with an ax.

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A rat scurries into a bar. Six days later, all of the people in that bar die of bubonic plague.

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What's Jewish and gay? Henry Shine

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How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

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What do you call a black guy with a white guy name? Bradley

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How much does a Polar Bear weigh? Approximately 500 lbs

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Whats the difference of how a hot blonde and an ugly red head got in to the same collage with a sex addicted dean? Nothing they were both very smart inteligent women with respectables GPA

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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A guy walks into a bar. Ouch

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what do you call a white man in a black neighborhood a minority

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What Sound does a baby make in a blender? I don't know I'm to busy masturbating to it

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A guy walks into a bar and doesn't buy a 12 pack of coke, pepsi is better but he didn't have enough money to buy either.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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