What did the man with Alzheimer's get for Christmas? Happy New Year!

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootise pop? No, seriously, does anyone know?

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Dylan Hodge likes to lick his mums penis to sleep every night.

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A cat walks by a chineese buffet, the owner kindly puts food and water outside the door so it doesnt die

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Not at all Nero, if humanity itself where better, you would never have had that pain you rather than carry seems to be stuck to you, what you call your armor, sounds more like a cage to me, it is no wonder that you lose faith in those that drag you down while you find peace and hope within yourself by helping them. I believe you got every right to lose hope in humanity at times, in my eyes you have always been much greater than them, you just seem to believe that if you fail at helping others, then you have failed yourself, remember that there are too many people that surrender in this world, that do not want to be helped back on their own feet rather than to be "shown the only way", you said it yourself, monkey see, monkey do is easy, too easy, and you never take the easy way. I am sorry if I copy your methods too much, it might seem to others as if you are chatting with yourself, which is just crazy, insane. silly, lets just say again that you just got a admirer in me, it cant be helped. Does this bother you?

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks " What'll You Have" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck.

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How do you make a mime cry? Hit him with an axe

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Q: Why was the blonde in a black car? A: Becasue the car was a herse and she was killed a week before in an accident where the other driver was drunk Becasue his wife had left him with no money and no kids to come home to.

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What happenswhen a geman shepard jumps into a lake? it gets wet

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A man walks into a bar. Later that night he comes home to an intervention and realizes he has a drinking has hurt him and his family.

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How do you kill an already dead man? You don't he's already dead.

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a black hispanic and asian man jump off a cliff they all die and their families morn their deaths

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What happend to the Jew when he was near the fire place He very carefully tended to it

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Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they are highly trained astronauts taking part in a multi-year space journey to explore part of the solar system that man has never dreamed to be feasible.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street, one was assaulted, the other was brutally raped.

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whats worse than your little sster being raped? her being raped by your father.

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What is black and white and red all over? A nun that just fell down the stairs.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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Your text.

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Why was the black man good at basketball? Because he practiced.

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Q:Why did sarah fall off the swing? A:She had no arms. 1:Knock knock 2:who's there? 1:not sarah

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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