Your tell your girlfriend to make you a sandwich, she actually makes one for you.

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Mrs. Welsh

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did you know helen keller had a swingset? neither did she

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the bible

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How many blondes does it take to skrew in a lightbulb? Usually just one.

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Why did the woman die Because she was old

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austins gay lolololol

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Roses are red violets are blue I have a gassing chamber and you are a jew

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A black guy, Jewish guy, Chinese guy and a normal guy walk into a bar. They were all normal but the race of the last guy could not be easily determined.

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What do you call a girl who has recently been raped? Dead.

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How did Hitler fit 100 Jews in his car? Ashes don't take up much space.

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Why did Dave stop going to the laundromat? Because he was a suicide bomber.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Set up. Set up who? Punch line!

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead.

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What is Jetlag? When your computer is running too many applications/programs, thus causing the game Jetman on Facebook to lag.

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Whats the first thing you do when your grandmother gets hit by a toaster? Buy a new toaster.

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea lives for around 5 minutes in hot water.

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Why couldn't Bruce drive a truck? Cause Bruce was a Fish.

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What's worse than Christmas alone? Pedophiles.

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sdrawkcab ekoj siht tleps I whether you like it or not

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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*prepares this to get negative votes*

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What did Helen Keller say to the little boy with cancer? Hudd Wahher shelper, ghh o.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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