Knock Knock. Who's There? Oh wait! i don't care!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What is better than life? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why did the guy get pulled over he had a broken tail light

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. -Are u a grapefruit? NO!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A 10 year old underpriveledged boy goes to the second mile camp and meets his new counselor: Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky. The two bond very much and talk a lot. Sandusky invites the boy back to the locker room to shower because the boy got muddy. The boy takes a shower, gets clean, and goes back to his cabin. The boy has a great time at the camp and goes home.

thumb_up thumb_down

a black guy walks into a store and is caught stealing things the police are called they get there and hes calmly escorted to the police car

thumb_up thumb_down -9

My black friend love grape soda and koolaid, with his fried chicken, and i dont think its racist cuz i also enjoy the same things at times

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A fat man walks into a bar. There is a 70% chance his mom is fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Taxes are like prostitutes. The higher your salary, the more you pay.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

whats the difference between this joke and other jokes other jokes have a punch line

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What is black and white and red all over? Interracial sex partners with smallpox.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +12

whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Yo momma's so fat that when she died of congestive heart failure, your family had to pay extra for a larger coffin to bury her in.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops