If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, Show me your ti ts.

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A man with a white bed sheet on his body and head grimaced at a black man. He said to the black man, can you help me with my ghost costume? Something in the back is poking me and it hurts.

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Why did the blind man itch his knee? He has cancer

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Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set in her backyard? Neither did she.

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Knock. Knock. Who's There? Its Jim, is Craig home? No he moved out sorry.

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How many blodnes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Approximately 17. with the addition of 6 brunettes.

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All these jokes are very entertaining, but if you look closely, Lebron clearly travels. Wheres the call ref what the hell.

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What did the japanese man say to the other Japanese man? I like your eyes.

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Geuss what? Bob is wide awake and he likes strawberries but he didn't have any strawberries so he ate a hamburger but fred wanted a hamburger but bob ate it so he just ate bob but bob was wide awake so he saw fred eating him so he called the pigs to come and eat fred because pigs eat anything but the pigs had already eaten their daily freds so they ate bob because they hadn't already eaten their daily bob but fred had already eaten bob so they got angry at fred so they just ate him anyway but then they got fat so a wolf ate them but then some hunters killed the wolf and ate it so they are actually eating a hamburger because the wolf ate the pigs and the pigs ate fred and fred ate bob and bobb ate a hambuger but he actually likes strawberries.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm color blind, How about you?

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your mothers so silly she saw a rock and sat on a chair.......?

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sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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Knock Knock... Who's there? The FBI, you're going to jail. Really? No.

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Nothing.

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Why don't nuns wear bras? Because god supports everything!

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A man was driving in his BMW one day when a mini passed him out on the fast lane. The BMW driver thought 'i can't have that!' so he sped up and overtook the mini. Unfortunately he wasn't paying attention and he drove into the back of a school bus. Ironically the bus contained the mini driver's 3 daughters, he was driving so fast because they had forgotten to bring their lunch and he was trying to catch up with the bus so he could give them their sandwiches. There were no survivors of the crash, except for the mini driver.

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How do u make a plumer cry? You kill his family!

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Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she heard there would be quaffles!

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What do you call a black man without a job? A man disenfranchised by the failing American economy.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not finding a worm in your apple, i quite like them actualy

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Whats brown and rhyme's with "Snoop?" Dr. Dre

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender says"What do u want?" The ducks replays "EVERY DAY IM SHUFFLING!!!" The bartender slaps the duck in its face and quid his job. The bar has a hard time finding a replacement and his business dies. THE END

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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