Yo' momma's so fat, she has an increased risk of cardiovascula disease and may die.

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What do you call something round and red that tastes like a tomato and shoots through walls? A Super Tomato. And what do you call a banana that shoots through walls? A banana trying to be a Super Tomato.

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what do jason kidd and michael jackson have in common? they are both actually black

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Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

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A chicken crossed the road. It was run over before reaching the other side. by fast asleep

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Why did the man pick the flower? Because he didn't like flowers.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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Ever hear the joke about the black guy going to jail its not a joke.

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Knock knock! Who's there? ... There was no reply because the person who knocked was the mailman delivering a package, and he had a tight schedule so he couldn't stay around to chat.

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If an ice cream van goes out of business, who drove the Jeep into the furniture store? To get to the other side.

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Why does Rupert The Bear wear checkered trousers? Because he's a twat.

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How was Charles Manson able to get women to kill for him? Because he was charismatic and intelligent.

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What do you get when Justin Bieber mates with a beaver? Nothing, the species are too genetically different to produce offspring

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What kind of pizza did the world trade center order? Two cheese pizzas.

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What is orange and smells like a jewish cat. Nothing

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What kind of shots I'd John take at night? Insulin, because he's a diabetic.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms ... Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie

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What do you get when a black man crosses a white man on the street? A black man and a white man on the street..

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Hey babe, do you like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people? Because I like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people.

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Why did the bus crash? Because the driver was a watermelon.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the teacher need sunglasses? Because she taught in a classroom with a very big window and the sun kept getting in her eyes.

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What's the animal that eats with its tail? All of them, since they won't take it off when they get to eat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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