Why was the boy crying? Because he was told he would never find a wife

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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The Definition of Megan Bates 800 Hamburgers

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why did John fall off his bike I don't know I was not there it was a rumor at school

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Who wants $300? Me too.

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How many dull people does it take to replace a lightbulb? One.

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What's green and apple-y? You're gay.

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Ask me if I'm a kangaroo Are you a Kangaroo? No….

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Q:Whats worse than stubbing your toe? A: Watching a terrorist saw your dads arm off.

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Why did the first koala fall off the tree? He Died Why did the second koala fall off the tree? He was stapled the the first koala

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

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mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

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What did Helen Keller say to a stranger at a party? I earned a Bachelor of Arts degree, wrote several books, traveled to over 39 countries, and was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom, one of the United States' highest two civilian honors, from President Lyndon B. Johnson.

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how hungry am i? well im as hungry a starving kid in africa!!!!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Q: What happened when lost John lost his crack cocaine? A: He bought some weed.

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What do you call 1,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A horrible boating accident.

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what do you call a small midget? a smidget.

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Do you know why the kid jumped down the 50 foot hole? I dont know, jump in and ask him.

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No pen- no notes No notes- no study No study- no good grades No good grades- no diploma No diploma- no job No job- no money No money- no food No food- really skinny Really skinny- ugly Ugly- no wife No wife- no kids No kids- lonely Lonely- death No pen=death

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How do you stop a car? Put on the Brake

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The real Justin Beiber reallly followed me on twitter I deleted my account, set my computer on fire, scattered the ashes and killed myself

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Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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