What's the difference between a duck? I'm sorry, I was typing too quickly and missed off the end of my sentence. I meant to say "What's the difference between a duck and a goose?" and the answer is that they are entirely different species of waterfowl.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was no traffic for miles and the chicken was in search of basic needs.

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Knock knock Who's there? Taco Taco who? Taco bell

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Two muffins are in an oven. After ten minutes at 375 degrees, they were pulled out, allowed to cool, and eaten.

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PUDDING

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im a willy bum bum

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Why was the stress line down? Because now the population is one-hundred short of yesterday.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a room? This is impossible as dead babies are incapable of achieving such a feat.

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Why did the Asian man have a small penis? Because he was flaccid.

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What's big, wet and yellowish-green at midnight? I don't know. That's why I'm asking.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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a guy is driving home his wife calls him and she say's be careful there is a lunatic driving on the wrong side of the road towards traffic he then reply saying they all are

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You know who else sucks dick? My aunt Jane. She was forced to become a prostitute after she got fired from her job.

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Why was the blonde staring at the orange juice carton? She was trying to read the nutrition label and had forgotten her reading glasses.

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yo yo yo Niggaz Lol I really didn't have a joke but I REAAALLLLLYYY wants to gets #1 joke so PLEASE like this

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A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

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Women

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so theres this big moose, and it walks into a convenience store and asks the lady bitch "where are the potatoes?" and she says "ehh, down aisle 5" so he goes down isle five, and there aint no potatoes

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What's the difference between you and a cat? The cats mom isn't a whore.

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Who's the biggest badass in the nation? Adrenaline junky Jacobs!

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Whats worse than a repeated Anti-joke This One

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This is SPARTA! SPARTA? THIS IS MADNESS! (kicks guy down well) What is hurt! Baby dont love me, dont love me, no more. Moral: The funny thing is probably that the line makes a lot more sense all of sudden does it not?

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Knock knock Who's there The police The police who? Ma'am your son is dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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