A black man owns his own night club. He tells the white man to look out for his night club. The white man bangs his head. The black man says, I told you to look out, you have now bumped into my big club that I take out at night time.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What do you call a donkey that can't speak? Whatever you want to call it...I prefer to call it a donkey that can't speak!

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2 guys walk into a bar the first gys says id like a beer the second guy says me to

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A Muslim walks into a bar, and has a pint of lager because he has chosen to integrate into his host country's culture. He then leaves without incident.

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What's the difference between a mac and a pc? Well haven't you seen the commercials.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican; the black man had too much alcohol and the Mexican was the designated driver.

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(Something terribly disturbing that people find funny)

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Why was Jimmy sad he couldn't play the Playstation? He didnt have one

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silly rabbit, rape is for babies

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do,Nt loagh at me I has dislecqsia

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Why does the deer cross the road? It had just birthed two deer, one of which was hungry, and food was on the other side, the other had been hit by 4x4 Hemi V8 Supercharged F1-50.

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What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

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What is worse than having sex with a dead baby in front of it's mother? Not a lot.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have AIDS, Now you do too!

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How did the blonde die? She got swallowed whole by a 1,000-foot scorpion.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food?? Neither have they...

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yo mamas so old she probably ralises the greater risk of breast cancer in middle age women.

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What do you call two black guys holding up a store? Really strong.

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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Wanna hear something dirty? Mud.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Hop in the van or I will rape you

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Your so fat that you have a 75% chance increase of dying from congenital heart failure.

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A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back distinctly better at the Trumpet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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