Zach Murfitt has a small Willy!

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what did the black man eat for dinner? whatever his wife makes for him to eat

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What do you call an awesome school? St Heinrich's Law School (Teaching you to break the laws!)

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What did one umbrella say to the other umbrella? Nothing, umbrellas cannot instigate a conversation, because they cannot talk.

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People really hate it when sentenses don't end the way elephants wear hats

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roses are red violets are blue clean up that **** or no sex 4 u

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Are you from Africa? Because you're black.

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Jake: Where's Waldo Me: Where? Jake: I don't know

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How do you get a person to stop talking to you? Ask nicely to please be quiet and let me talk.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Jesus Christ walks into a bar and the bartender says "Holy crap it's Jesus!" and everyone quickly updates their Facebooks.

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Your a christain on a lovely vacation with your family a querr waalks by. What do you do? you push the queer of the edge.

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed because of the fact that he had lost World War II.

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Daddy daddy daddy. What. Will you buy me a porn for my birthday. What! I want porn daddy. Shut up gosh your a 8 year old girl

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Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk die and find themselves standing before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. Actually, that's just speculation. No one really knows what happens when you die. Most likely your consciousness simply stops, and you cease to exist, an eternity of oblivion. But most people can't face this possibility so we have made up comforting stories to attempt to ease our collective fear of death.

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Holy mother moley! Britain just brexited! Now there's no more Britain. Britain is all gone.

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Q: What has two legs and is bloody? A: half a cat

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Q: Why is little Timmy living without his parents? A: He is ninety seven years old!

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Why did the woman drop her keys? She was being raped.

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Why are aspirins white? Because the creator of aspirin didn't feel it necessary to color the pills.

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What do you call a Muslim taking control of an airplane? A pilot. -Tag

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Me: Hey, Johnny! Do you see that Tree? Johnny: No. Me: Neither do I.

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What trees do fortune tellers look at? Whichever variety of species are indigenous to where they live.

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What's worse than public speaking? Public masterbation. *Spelled it wrong purposly to bypass the filter*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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