What did spongebob say to patrick? Im ready! im ready!

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Q: What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A: A blue plastic bag in the wind.

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glasses, jacket, shirt They call me glasses, jacket, shirt man. I never leave the house...without my brodies. hehehe hahaha hohoho!

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s o m a a d i t u n y s n i t a c s d c ' s k h k s t o e l y e

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Mets.

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Your momma's so fat, when Jesus said, "Let there be light!," she had to scoot over.

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How could you wake up Lady Gaga? poke her face

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Q: How many years does it take for a deer to grow into a moose? A: 7

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(Guy)That's what she said. (His Girlfriend) And who is this she.

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? They smell bad and they're ugly.

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What did the boy get for christmas? a new lining

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What did the little boy with cancer get for his birthday .............. Nothing because he died before his birthday

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Why did the red head never have a boyfriend? She was a lesbian and had always preferred women over men

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Sigh, everybody in the world hates me :( Moral: Seven billion people? Realy?

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why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

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What's the difference between an Asian bookkeeper and a Jewish dog? This isn't a joke, it's an assignment for school, I need to write a 3 page paper on this. Any ideas?

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Dam. Mothers Against Dyslexia.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic insomniac that stayed awake all night wondering if there really is a dog?

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what does a nazi and the witch from hansel and gretal have in common, they both put people in ovens.

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How do you please a black person? Shower him with love and affection.

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A seal walks into a club, It proceeds to maul customers and then makes its way back to the ocean where it lives.

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Uh, Liz, he is staring at the screen... He says you are right and knows, so he cant get mad, ill trust you both, but it better work, or this one is on me. Oh by the way, yeah he is eating, sorry its late here, and I am the only nurse here about now Ironically this place is full of doctors but they dont seem to give a crap about the man that pays their checks. Doctors said no, Nero said "you are fired" Doctor changes his opinion, glad to see he is taking charge around here, I am just worried about his sleep, he is beginning to halucinate and I doubt any stimulants will help. But fine, ill trust you, sorry, really shaking my boots here, I really do not want to, but this is not about me.

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When Michael Jackson was making his last son, he named him Blanket... he was cold.

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If Bob has 65 sweets and he eats 57 how many does he have? Bob has diabetes. He has high blood sugar, either because the body does not produce enough insulin, or because cells do not respond to the insulin that is produced.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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