How do you kill a cow while your carrying a gun Shoot him

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Yo momma's so fat, she's broke 'cause she spent too much money on food.

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What's red and every where? A bloody soldier who just stepped on mine.

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What did the mother say when her sons asked for a can of pop? No you have diabetes.

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You

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A Mexican, A Caucasian and An African American walk into a bar. Suddenly, a rival of the African American's pulls up in a used Chevrolet and shoots him 6 times with a semi-automatic handgun. The Mexican and Caucasian are distraught and call 911 immediately. The rival is later arrested and found guilty of murder in the first degree by a jury of his peers. Less than 6 months later, the bar is closed due to the negative stigma surrounding the shooting. Urban life is a harrowing and tough experience that most outsiders will never fully understand.

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Your momma so poor, she has a hard time paying her bills.

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What did Shaggy say to Scooby before they got in the Mystery Machine? Scooby, get in the Mystery Machine.

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After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

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Why was the Mexican running through the desert? A group of bandits had kidnapped his family, raped his sister, drowned his mother, decapitated his father, and now they were coming for him. They are coming...

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Knock Knock Who's there? no one, you've got Psycosis

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Call of Duty is Awesome So is fingering a dead lion with an iron dildo

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What do you call a Ku Klux Klan member who has been set on fire? Burnt Marshmallow.

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Knock Knock Whos there? John John Who Tic Tic BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM

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What happens when a Jewish man with a boner walks into a wall. He gets a broken nose.

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September 11 was the 9/11 of all terrorist attacks.

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What do you get when a bulldog and shitzu reproduce? A litter of extremely cute puppies.

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Whats white and goes up? a confused snowflake

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scott land on an island. They were on vacation and returned to the UK, which consists of two isles.

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What did the white man say to the black man? We both deserve to be treated as equals although we are from much different cultural backgrounds.

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Why was the mom happy cause her daughter had an abortion

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A policeman asks a suspect in a murder investigigation about his alibi. The suspect gives him a solid alibi. The suspect go's home to his wife and have dinner.

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Do you know why one side of the V formation that geese fly in is longer than the other? Because there's more geese on that side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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