you: your adopted me: i was so thanks for saying you ass

What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

This man was known to beat his wife alot, To the car door to open it for her...

I scream. You scream. We all scream. Because there is a rapist in the room.

why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

how do you get 20 people in a mini? open the door would be a good start but i dont think they will all fit.

What's long and hard and looks like plastic? A plastic baton.

A jewish man trips and breaks his nose

A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears, realizing that his life as he knew it is over, and recognizing the horrible burden he is about to become on his family, both financially and emotionally.

What do you call a black man in an envelope? A tiny black man

How does a gay take his pants off? Just like everybody else

I want a lot of likes...do it you wont. i know you wont.

anti jokes

what did the man say to the other man? hey

The real Justin Beiber reallly followed me on twitter I deleted my account, set my computer on fire, scattered the ashes and killed myself

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

Why did the little girl's pet bunny pass away? Because her neighbor ripped out it's vitals.

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

An Irish man walks out of a bra.

Why was 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 was a registered 6 offender

What's black and white and red all over A nun falling down the stairs

Were can you find a bag of meth?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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