Yolo: Your Oppurtunity Lies Upon...... oh, wait upon starts with a u... YOLU

My Boyfriend

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know chickens are absent minded creatures that can aimlessly walk around.

How did mary and molly have sex it is impossible for two women to perform sex

Two guys walk into a bar.The barmen says "sorry we are closed." So the two men reply "There isn't a closed sign on the door and the door was open so we assumed it was OK to come in and have a drink". The barman says "Sorry we are closed at the moment but come back in 20 minutes and I can serve you". So the men leave and come back for a drink in 25 minutes time.

What do Miley and Bill Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

whats black and white and red all over? a zebra crossing after a horrible, horrible car accident

i tell you whats funny......... what? a fat sudanese man

There are two types of people in this world: those who can count and those who can't. I happen to be one of those who can.

What is underneath Chuck Norris' Beard? His Chin

What's the difference between a pile of rotting shit about to be re-heated in the microwave and Kevin James's new movie "The Zookeeper" ... Nothing.

Dubstep = a computer with a noisy virus.

Why was the Mexican smart? Because he was very well educated and went to college, and got a Ph.D

What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny becuase the robot had no arms.

So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home.

Whats worse than being rapped by a giant scorpion. Being gangbanged by a couple giant scorpions

what did the old lady die of old age...

Q- what did the magician say after the sawed the woman in half ? A- call an ambulance !

Whats black, dead, and hangs from a tree in my backyard? Your Mom

Say this fast: Alpha kenny body sofa king hard with mike hawk. :)

What's the difference between a dead baby in my garage and a Ferrari in my garage? I don't have a Ferrari.

A hooded black man walks into a pharmacy, he caught a cold due to the gelid weather and bought some medicine for himself.

What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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