Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was a cold day

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How many immature people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 69

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What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

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what do you get when you see jonny cry-a monkey lol

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Q: What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A: A pharmacist

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because there were no cars in the way.

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Q:whats the difference between a black man and a bunk bed A: a bunk bed can support 2 kids

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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What did the blind, deaf, retarded kid get for Christmas? Spoiled.

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How's your mum? she's dead..

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man, a white man has lighter skin

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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Why did the man cross the road? He was in a state of depression and chose to commit suicide.

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Who didn't let the gorilla into the ballet? The people who were in charge of that decision.

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head and dies.

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A horse walks into a bar. The Bartender says "Why the long face?" The Bartender is then put into a lunatic asylum for hallucinating and trying to communicate with said hallucinations.

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heat!

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200,000 people are homeless! ...this year in america!

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How do you wake up Lady GAGA? A sludge hammer!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

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You're pretty... PRETTY UGLY

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What did the 5 year old girl ask Santa for Christmas? A pony.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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