A baby seal walks into a club.

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What do you call a a chinese abortion? My dinner

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A sheep goes up to to a horse and asks "Does you speak sheep?".The horse replies ''Neigh''.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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How fast do Jews cook? It depends how many you have in the oven at once.

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Hello? Hi. Who is this? Yo mom. Your not my mom. Im the Irish man that did your mom.

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Greg told a joke. It wasnt funny...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Roses are Red You're Black and Blue My fists seemed to have taken A liking to you

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? Because she is enjoying the meal her husband has prepared for her after a long day at her second full-time job of the day

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How did the blind man escape the mugger? He ran into a bus.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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A blonde brunette and redhead all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? The brunette because she jumped first

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why are black people so fast? because there black

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Q. How do you break into a store that's closed? A. You walk in, I was lying about it being closed.

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why was the chinese man so good at math it was his favorite subject

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A Priest, A Pedofile, and a Rapist walk into a bar. He Orders A Drink

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I lost my tractor.

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Why is the boy sad? He was getting bullied so he later on talked to a teacher and the bully and him settled their differences. The bullied boy still wishes the bully to go to hell.

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what did the cow say to shabab?....... want some milk

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Scenario- A wedding while skydiving. Problem- The groom lost his parachute. Question- Who stole it? Hint- The Maid of Honor didn't have one either, but he had one on his body when he hit the ground. Answer- The mailman, but he died of old age.

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How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops