my wife out of the kitchen

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what did the woman call the man who ate Ham? A Pig

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What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

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two tomatos walked over the road and..... just kidding tomatos can't walk.

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I mustache you a question. But I'll shave it for later.

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yo mommas so ugly that everyone died.

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Q: Why was the little girl upset? A: Because she drank a window cleanser, causing her vital organs to shut down, ending in a slow, painful, death.

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cats, swimming, northpole ,sky, park , tree , bench, anti joke. shut up you have a skin disease!

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I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

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Knock Knock And then I looked through the peephole and I saw it was the handyman that was going to fix my leaky sink so I opened the door

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Q. What did the Cat say to the Dog? A. "These humans are so jobless.."

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A kangeroo is stuck in a tree with no headlights, how many waffles does it take to get to the moon? NO, silly. Snakes don't have armpits.

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Dislike this joke for a cookie However if you like this joke you dont get a cookie

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What did a fireman say to his wife right after they got ran over by a stampede of bulls? nothing.... they were dead.

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Why was the man sweating? He was stuck in a burning house.

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What's the difference between your mom and a toaster? A toaster won't period in your cereal bowl.

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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If you live in the 'living' room, what do you do in the others? You die.

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Ring. Ring. Hello? Hey, It's Sean Oh hi! How are you?

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A man is working at a bar. He feels a fly graze his left index finger, which has become a bit sweaty. The man rubs the finger for a moment, then continues to slice grapes for a customers synthetic japanese glue farm.

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Why did the man pick the flower? Because he didn't like flowers.

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the results of his AIDS test

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Q: what's green and fluffy? A: green fluff

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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