Why did the blonde walk into a glass wall? Because she either wasn't watching where she was going or the wall was so clean that it appeard not to be there

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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A guy says to a palm reader "You look like you've seen a ghost. Palm reader replies "You've got cum on your hand."

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Want to know how the dyslexic man with no left arm and no left leg? All left

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What do you call a KKK member? ...racist

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Anders Lungren is a worthless peice of scrub

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Whats gay and has wheels? Alex Egbert, I lied about the wheels

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why is rebecca black? because it's friday.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but i have Alzheimer's. Hey i just met you.

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why was the boy sad his whole family just died in a plane crash

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What's the difference between an Elephant and a Post Box? An Elephant is not a Post Box. It is an Elephant.

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What's black and white and eats like horse? A zebra.

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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Q: What happens after you have sex with Michelle Obama? A: You wake up and kill yourself.

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Why is Skrillex so bad a fishing? He has Parkinson's Disease

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Why was the man in a great deal of pain? Because he was hit in the face with a sack of potatoes.

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What do you call a black man without a job? Unemployed.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Why did the Mexicans climb the fence? When they were tossing frisbee and accidentally tossed it into their neighbors yard and they had to go get it.

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I was watching this movie..... its over now.

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What did the ocean say the other ocean? Nothing, bodies of water are incapable of speech.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN FART SO LOAD TO GET EVRYYBODY ATENTION

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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