why did the two girls fight? Because they were mad at eachother.

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Why did the mexican cross the street? Because the next lawn to mow was in a different neighborhood

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How do you hold someone in suspense?

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Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

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Wife, "Wake up... i think there's someone in the house, do something... go downstairs and have a look!" Husband, "Do it yourself." Wife, "You what? You can't expect a woman to fight off an intruder..." Husband, "You women wanted equal rights so here you go, do it yourself."

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knock knock who's there? julian julian who? julian gonzalez

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Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Dandelions are yellow

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What's funnier than a bus full of burning babies? Nothing.

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"Knock knock." "No."

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Last words of a redneck - "Hold my beer and watch this"

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what is the difference between the dead baby and the sandwich? i don't put my penis into the sandwich before i eat it.

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Did you hear that the actress, Reese what's-her-name, got stabbed to death? Witherspoon? No, with a knife.

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Why did the woman start crying? She didn't have woman's rights... That's right, get back in the kitchen

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How is a fat girl like a tiny motorcycle? She isn't, and you should be ashamed of yourself for even thinking how she might be.

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What do a blueberry and a raspberry have in common? They are both commonly used in parfaits.

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Why did the black man purchase a gun? Because the man enjoys to go hunting in his spare time.

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Blacks

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An american, a french and a japanese walk into a bar. They are colleagues from the International University of Florida, used to go out together.

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Q: what do you call this?: the boi wuz ridin the scool bus and it crased in a wal. A: grammacally flawed

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How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

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A Polish man is walking down the street carrying a brown paper bag. He runs into one of his buddies, who asks, "Hey! What's in the bag?" The man tells his friend that he has some fish in the bag. His friend says, "Well, I'll make you a bet. If I can guess how many fish you have in the bag, you'll have to give me one." The man replies, "I'm sorry, my friend, but gambling is against my morals, especially when my family's only nutrition for the week is on the line."

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was both deaf and blind and both senses are essential to a driver

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How do you get a black man to run? Ask him how his day has been, catch up on some memories of your time at school together, then challenge him to a foot race.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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