How many dead babies can you fit in a trash can? 12

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How can you make a little boy tell the truth? Threaten to murder his family.

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If John had eight apples and he eats three. Calculate the mass of the sun.

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whats the one about not giving a crap? oh yea this one

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So my girlfriend comes back from Jamaica this weekend. There are as many hairs per square inch on your body as a chimpanzee.

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

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what did barrack obama say to the jew osama bin ladins a bitch

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... and so the rabbi says "Don't worry. It was a kosher pickle anyway."

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face.

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What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

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What do you call a room with an oven and ten Jews in it? A kitchen.

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Your mama's so fat her patronus is a cake

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An Irishman and an Englishman are in a bar. Suddenly a wild Dragonite attacks. The Englishman promptly catches the pokemon and continues to enjoy his drink with his Irish friend.

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What did the dog say to the mailman? nothing, dogs lack the mental capacity for human speech therefore he was unable to communicate his message verbally

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A man returns from the army and finds his wife in bed with another man. He kills them both.

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Q. If Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were both drowning, what kind would you make? A. PBJ

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Whats the difference between cats and dogs? ....cats suck

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps out and runs away. One cow looks round a bit, eats some grass and then wanders off.

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what do an elephant and a mouse have in common? nothing

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Why dont we just make fun of both? *mexican music plays*

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knock knock whos there not me

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Why did the orange have to wear a tie to the party? Because Rodric the Pear suggested it.

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How do you make an idiot laugh? Tell him a mildly funny joke relating to bodily functions, such as defecating or passing gas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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