What did the man say when he put his genitals in a blender? Argggghhh!

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hi

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What's winnie the pooh's middle name? the

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What did your mother say after I beat her? Nothing, because she was dead.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball Deluxe. Super Monkey Ball Deluxe who? Oh no.

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what do you call 3 mexicans in the back of a car? Carpooling to work to save on gas.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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what did the chinese man say to the convicts at the side of the road? so long gay boys what did the convicts do to the chinese man? nothing he was in a car

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? I take my shoes off to jump on the trampoline

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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Your mama is so fat she has to buy plus sized clothes.

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What do you call a cat with no tail? A Manx cat

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Why did the black guy buy watermelon? It was on sale.

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If it wasn't for my horse I'd never go to college.

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How come Hellen Keller couldn't drive? Because she was blind and deaf, therefore incapable of performing such a task.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because a stranger stole his shirt.

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Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

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Why did the orange cross half way across the road Because it ran out of juice

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THAT MAN EATS TOO MUCH. therefore he is overweight.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil armstrong Neil armstrong walks on the moon...Michael Jackson molests little boys

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how many weasels does it take to change a lightbulb 0 weasels are animals and therefore are not capable of changing lightbulbs

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An African-American man calls KFC. An employee answers. "Thank you for calling KFC." The man replies, "I'm sorry, I must have dialed the wrong number."

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mark is life

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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