Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van.

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Why did the girl suck the other guy off? to get paid

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Why Didn't The Teenager Bring His Report Card Home to His Parents? Because He Was Murdered By Thugs Walking Home From School.

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If life hands you lemons, take them they taste good

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If you give a homeless man a fish he eats for the night, if you teach him to fish then he probably won't be able to feed himself anyway, he is too poor to afford a pole.

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A man walks into a bar, and says "ow."

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Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

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i had a bowl of soup and it was 5 inches in diameter and 3 inches tall. how much soup did i eat? very little because i drank most of it

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Why didn't the boy buy his mom a gift for Christmas? He was killed by a drunk driver two years ago

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F@ck me in the ass until I say STOP. Before we start, can you please ducktape my mouth?

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How do you make a telemarketer scream? Set him on fire.

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What do you call a mexican sleeping in a car tired.

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Two men and a woman walk into a bar. They are all viciously murdered by a serial killer, who as he walks out, runs into a pole and suffers from a concussion, which he later dies from.

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Why was the teenage girl bleeding from her vagina? Because I had shot her in her vagina with my gun earlier that day.

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What do you get when you mix Fruit and Flys? Fries... or Flutes, depending on how many Flys your add.

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What's worse than carrying a heavy suitcase? Poisoning children.

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Whats black and white and eats like horse? A zebra.

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96 there mad at each other instead its 69

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Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

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Why did the black man jump out of the plane? He was going on a parachute dive with his friend.

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Why did Jimmy lay down? Because he was tired

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What did the tree say to the boy? Nothing. As i recall, trees are unable to speak and or show signs of emotion.

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A priest and a rabbi are playing golf one weekend. The priest tees off first. When the rabbi steps up to tee off, it begins to rain heavily. Dismayed, the rabbi says, "I thought it there was only a 10% chance of rain today."

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a serial-rapist with links to the Black Dragon triad. Yee.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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