Why didn't the Alzheimers patient put on her shoes? She didn't leave the elderly home that day, thus taking away the need to put on shoes.

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How do you get a blonde with one hand out of a tree? Grab a ladder and carry her down.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I regurgitate doorknobs

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Q) what happens when you tackle someone with 2 legs? A) you fall over

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A grasshopper walks into a bar... Bartender: "hey we have a drink named after you!" Grasshopper: "What, Kevin?"

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A man falls into a lake but no one is around to help him, luckily the man can swim so he got out of the lake and went home feeling embarrassed

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If you like this song so much why don't you marry it? Because a divorce would be tough on the kids

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What would you do for a klondike bar? I'm allergic to milk.

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Don't make jokes about the Holocaust. My grandfather died in the Holocaust. He fell off a watchtower.

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wanna hear a joke? katie chandler

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What do you call a horse standing alone in an empty field? Tesco's own Beef Lasagne.

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What did james say on his bitrhday? There was no birthday because he was aborted but he said ''crunch'' anyway

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What did the tourist in Africa get? A souvenior.

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What does a Dominican and a Russian have in common... they are both thinking of a funny anti-joke to post on this site...

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What's worse than a woman driver? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

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How do you get a black man out of KFC? Tell him to get out

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Boy, do I love chicken strips. Sometimes, when I’m home alone, I’ll take some chicken strips fresh out of the oven and rub them in my scalp. It doesn’t do much for my hair health, but I like the way they feel running through my strands of hair. The flakey coating, smooth white meat, and warmth. Yum.

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Why did the 80 year old man lose his vision? Because he recently blew his head off.

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Whats numbing and smells like burning toast? A stroke.

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hey

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Johnny: One day dad i will be tall like you! (Later that day johnny was found dead in a garbage bag)

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What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

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A one armed blond is in a tree, how to you get her to come down? You wave to her?

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Knock Knock Who's there? You have AIDS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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