What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

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whats big and green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a snooker table

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why did the little boy cry? some gang killed his family infront of him.

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As a kid I was always told that school would get me good places. As an adult, I have found that there is another thing that gets you into a good place. Shrooms.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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Whats sad about 4 black guys in a cadillac driving over a cliff? A cadillac seats 5

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. Your family is dead.

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Why are friends like trees? If you hack at them repeatedly with an axe, they fall over.

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Yo momma so lazy she hasn't been to work in weeks and you no longer have electricity or food.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobel Nobel who? There was no bell, that's why I'm knocking you idiot

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4

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What did the little girl get for christmas? her first period

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Knock knock stop knocking you idiot, it's the 21st century

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I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. I had forgotten she was dead.

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A paraplegic wheels himself into a bar. The barman asks, 'What can I get you?' 'Nothing,' replies the paraplegic, 'I've just pissed myself and I need you to help me clean myself up.'

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What did the young boy get for Christmas? All his brothers belongings because his brother died

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What is dark in the darkness even if you shine a torchlight on it? A blackman

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whats similar between a chicken and an alligator they both gobble except for they alligator

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Rosea's afre rewd Voleasts a/ere bluejw I ahve parkinson's dise'ase it ttook 4 hoiurs to w'irite this

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what did hayley say to missy last night? I'm tired bye

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Q: What happened when Bob the Super-mega-ultra man, in his hurry to return an item that was objectively proven to be hazardous to physically normal people, banged his head very hard against a wall of a random building that was located on his route of travel? A: He recieved a concussion and had to coalesce in bed for a long time in order to return back to his regular style of living. Bob was merely a nominal 'Super-mega-ultra' man. He gets hurt practically as easily as anyone else.

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Two people on a boat, Pete and Repete. Pete fell off and Repete radioed the Coast Guard, who sadly got there just in time to watch him drown to his death.

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whats worse than a paper cut? 2012

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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