Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: Names

How full could a skeleton's stomach possibly be? Replete with perceptible emptiness.

yo momma is so fat she ate the rest of the joke

How do you keep kids off your lawn? You molest them.

Why did the man with brain cancer die? He drove his Segway off a cliff.

Why did suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms... Why couldn't she get back up? -she had no friends

So this guy tells me he hasn't had a bite in weeks. So i bought him lunch.

What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

What's better than winning the Paralympics? Having legs.

Did u hear about the fire at the circus? 12 people died.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Barrack Obama shops at Baby Gap

How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got for Christmas? He's his dad. He bought the presents.

How did Helen Keller's Parents punished her? The put a doorknob on her door.

what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

Why did the Hispanic man have no job? Because we are in a recession, and work is hard to come by in this tough economy.

What do you call an Asian man without any clothes on? -naked

Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Unfortunately there are billions of chickens in the world and based on the question it is not possible to determine which specific chicken is being referred to. Even if we were able to ascertain this knowledge it would be unlikely that we could determine its purpose, as chickens don't usually make decisions based on logical thought.

What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

Dear emma brown i would appreciate if i could have my dick back, the you squeezed of wwith you ass cheeck -jackson edwards

What do you say to a man who just gave you a million dollars. thank you

What happened to jimmy when he stepped on a rusty nail? He died of of tetanus.

Why was Jimmy afraid of coming out of the closet? He had agoraphobia.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...