There are two muffins sitting in an oven the first muffin turns to the other and says "Its pretty hot in here." the second muffin jumps back and yells "HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

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What did the 20-year old woman say too the old man? HI GRANDPA!

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing because they are on opposite sides of the earth

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What is the greatest lie ever? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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yo momma so old that when she whent to school there was no history class

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

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what did i do after u pinched me? i killed everyone

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Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

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What did the white man say to the black man at midnight? It's really dark out.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven kind of looked like an alligator.

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Koalas mum is a slut

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The awkward moment when you find your wife on the online dating site you are on.

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Avery has crabs.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

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whats worse than stubbing your toe? being gang raped and then killed

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What did Frankenstein say to Dracula? Hey, that's a nice cape.

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What do Texans call cows? Cows. Calling them almost anything else would be utterly illogical.

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Roses are red,Here's something new ,violets are violets,not ******* blue

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Yo momma so fat she was baptized in a church, because she wasn't as fat as she is currently.

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Your mother is average.

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what do you call 2 walking Arabs with long beards? pedestrians.

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Why did grandpa climb the phone pole with bananas in a backpack? He has a debilitating disease. He is slowly losing touch with reality.

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A dog walks into a bar, the dog is assisting his blind owner

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why did the horse drop its ice cream Because it doesnt have thumbs so it cant hold the ice cream

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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