What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

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What would you do if I ripped your face off? Bleed to death.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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A woman has sex with an Asian man, then a white man, and then a black man. She chooses to be in a relationship with the black man because he is prepared for the responsibilities of a relationship and the other two men, though both are well endowed, are not ready.

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When u send someone fudge, u must send a note along with it! Roses are red Violets are blue Fudge is brown Here's some fudge

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A bus with 11 passengers is making its final stops for the night. At main street it drops of 6 people and picks up 2, at broad it drops of 3 and picks up 4, at 3rd street it drops of 5 and picks up 1, and finally at 6th street it drops off 4 and picks up 0. How many people are still on the bus? 13 if you include the dead bodies in the back

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Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? An ak-47

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

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I got a new jacket. The jacket had real cotton inside the sleeves. The next day my new jacket was gone, but the one i bought yesterday wasn't.

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Yesterday, I was hosting a party, and there were a lot of people crowding around some fruit punch I made all trying to get a glass... Whoops, it appears I forgot the Punch line.

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If somebody chucks skittles at you saying taste the frickin rainbow Run over them with a car and say "NationWide is on your side!!! ????

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Who ya gonna call? ... Whoever you need to talk to at the current time.

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Quick! It's a fly, call the swat team!!!

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Where's the best place to gather black people to roleplay as prison victims for a documentary? Prison or the Graveyard.

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How do you start a fire in the woods? Call Cole Ryder!

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

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Word Problem Q.John has 32 candy bars. He eats twenty eight of them. What does he have now? A. Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

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Why did the boy fail the test? He had down syndrome.

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what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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