Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

Why was Timmy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

Girl:Do you wanna hear a joke? Boy:Sure... Girl: jesus loves you

A man entered into a house, because it hadn't any door.

What has a beard and bombed the World Trade Center? Oama Bin Ladin. No, but seriously he's a terrorist.

I gotta friend named Michael Nugyen and he dishonored his family. Did I mention he was asian ( he live in tampa fl )

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

I have 13 hedge hogs in one hand and 4 pineapples in my van how many pikelets does it take to cover the roof. Purple because aliens dont wear hats.

1: Knock knock. 2: Who's there? 1: Boo. 2: Please do come on in Boo, its so lovely to see you!

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

My Roomate-(crying in the fetal position for the love of his life has been murderer) Me- (laughing) I have a problem

Chuck Norris doesn't answer the phone - he doesn't have one at the moment

How does Hitler like his juice? With pulp

Q: Why did'n the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

If a tree falls on a cat in the woods, does it make a sound? Yes and no, the tree falling makes a loud noise, but the cat under it is instantly killed, preventing any sound that would of been made by the now crushed feline.

What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

Ask me if I'm a tree? Are you a tree? No.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms or legs. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

Whats worse than than falling in a puddle on the way to a meeting? Getting shot while your at that meeting.

Keanu Reaves

Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Duh!!!."

Why did the boy fail his test? Because he got shot before he could even study.

What's worse than a worm in your holocaust? An apple.

If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him? Because that would be assault, and not only assault but aggravated assault, since you are using a weapon to do it. Plus, the lawyer would have an advantage over you in court during the trial, due to having a law degree.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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