Please don't rape me.

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When Geese fly in their 'V' formation, why is one line bigger than the other? There's more geese in that line.

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Why do jews have long noses? Because they received the genetic alleles from their parents that cause the nose to grow longer.

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Pull my finger. Not right now. I'm watching The Price is Right.

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john liked the paper........ so he took it

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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When an intellectual was told by someone, "Your beard is now coming in," he went to the rear entrance and waited for it. Another intellectual asked what he was doing. Once he heard the whole story, he said: "I'm not surprised that people say we lack common sense. How do you know that it's not coming in by the other gate?"

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Knock, knock. Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your spouse is in hospital.

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Two cannibals were eating a clown. Good.

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Why didn't the baby drive the car? Because its a baby.

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What did the black man say to the asian? Hey.

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A black guy and Hispanic guy jump off the Empire State Building at the EXACT same time. Who dies first? Who cares?!

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? It had no legs.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Probably cheese, since there really isn't a possesive form of the noun.

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What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

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You have been brought down to hell where you are welcomed by satan. "Welcome to hell, where you watch your loved ones get tortured for all eternity" Satan said "Where is everyone? " you ask "Hmmm, I guess you were never really loved"He replied

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What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A fossil.

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I slept through the Dark Knight movie....turns out I was pretty tired.

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Tom and Phill are eating ice cream Tom challenges Phill to a contest to see who can eat their ice cream in one bite Tom finishes his in two bites Phil in one Then he looks like he got a brain freeze Tom notices and says "You idiot: you got brain freeze!" Phill turns around and says "No, I have a brain tumor."

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun. He then clocks in and takes duty because he is a security guard at the bank.

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why did the football coach go to the bank? to make a deposit into his account

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A child finally stood up to the school bullies! Recently the news did a story about a school shooting.

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Pee Pee bleekkka klup look? fupapapapapapapapap

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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