Come in

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between a cat and a banana? Bananas don't scream as much when you peel them.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what did one dog say to his sex partner? woof woof

thumb_up thumb_down -23

It's a bird! No, it's a plane! No, it's actually a bird. You can see its wings flapping.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costum

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How does a blind bit of difference differ from one that can see?

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many no-armed amputees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the one bagpiper say to the other? Nothing, one cannot speak while playing the bagpipes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing, you should call a local animal rescue number and care to its needs.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

a jewish guy walks in to a bar says to the bartender says "I have aids" and the jewish man replys "my bad"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate you, Go die in a hole.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? To collect it's AIDS medication.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

how did the bus fall outa the tree it got hit by a hellicopter how did the boy fall outa the tree he was attached to the bus how did the chicken fall outa the tree it fell off the branch

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the Magic: The Gathering player a virgin? Because he was underage and it would have been immoral for him to have had sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A Asian man with a boner runs and hits the wall... He beaks his nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

how do you drown a blonde in a kitty pool? put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why did the mexican stab those people? why? he didn't you racist

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between unicorns and black people? That whole slavery thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the fat guy survive the the plane crash? He was late to get up due to a malfunctioning alarm clock and so missed his flight, sparing him of the tragic outcome the other passengers suffered. To this day he still thinks about how a completely random occurrence saved his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the bus driver sad? The kid with the icecream had c4 strapped to his chest.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is worse then dropping the soap? Not being able to pick it back up.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops