How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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A duck, a mailman, and a poet were contemplating suicide, then they changed their minds.

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David Cameron

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A kid walks into the car and the dad says, "Wear your seatbelt".

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Whats the difference between Rolf Harris and a pedophile Whoops I didn't quite think this one through

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why did the first monkey fall out the tree? he was dead why did the second monkey fall out the tree? he was hit by the first one why did the third monkey fall out the tree? peer pressure why did the fourth monkey fall out the tree? he thought it was a game

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Boy: Why'd the chicken cross the road Mom: I don't know go ask the chicken

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What is the square root of 69? 8.30662386

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Whats the difference between a Cadillac and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

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What do you call a black woman that's blind and has 1 leg? Handicapped

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Why did Rose throw the clock out the window? Because she's a moron.

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What did the murderer do to the dentist? Nothing, the murderer has served his time and is clean. But he did get his teeth cleaned.

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How do you kill a mime? Shoot him in the face.

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why do people take pictures in the bathroom? because they just got done taking a crap and they wanna see if they lost weight.

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How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

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What is Ash gray Battleship gray Black Blue-gray Cadet gray Charcoal Cool gray Davy's gray Payne's gray Gunmetal Silver Slate gray Taupe Purple taupe Medium taupe Rose quartz Taupe gray Timberwolf WhiteApple green Asparagus Bright green Cal Poly Chartreuse Dark olive green Dark spring green Dartmouth green Fern green Forest greenGreen Green-yellow Harlequin Honeydew Hunter green India green Islamic green Jungle green Lawn green LimePhthalo green Pigment green Pine green Pistachio Sea green Shamrock green Spring bud Spring green Teal Yellow-greenAlice blue Aqua Aquamarine Celeste Cerulean Cyan Electric blue Jungle green Magic mint MintAir Force blue Air superiority blue Alice blue Azure Baby blue Bleu de France Blue Blue-gray Bondi blue Brandeis blueAmethyst Byzantium Cerise Eggplant Fandango Fuchsia Heliotrope Indigo Lavender blush Lavender (floralblack gray silver white maroon red purple fuchsia green lime olive yellow navy blue teal aqua a List that you just spent 5 min reading

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What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny becuase the robot had no arms.

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A guy dared his friend to jump off a bridge for 10 bucks. His friend, fearing for his life did not jump.

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Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

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Some really old band covered Dirty Bit. But the cut out the Dirty Bit part so its just the Time of life part

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Q; Why was the man loosing his hair? A; Because since he was at an older age, he was going bald.

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Three men walk into a bar and suffer permanent brain damage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops