Why did the depressed teenager die? Because he had cancer.

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How did the priest die? Masterbation

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Q-how many dead babies does it take to paint your geradge door? A-one if you throw it hard enough

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What's worse than shitting whilst fucking? Losing your eye! Kelvin Yang

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Why are you reading anti-jokes? ... why are you looking at me like that? I asked you a question, idiot.

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Why did the boy get hit by a wrecking ball? Because he picked up an upside down penny.

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Q: How many years does it take for a deer to grow into a moose? A: 7

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What the difference between a mexican family and a bench? The bench can support the family

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a

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Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Walt dies in breaking bad.

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Lisa’ house needed to be painted and her brother offered to do it for her. Lisa thought it was a nice gesture and told him that she wanted the house in antique white. However; after painting the house, Lisa noticed that her brother had used a color with a dark yellow tone. ”Are you sure this is Antique white?” she asked him. ”Offcourse!” he said. Afraid of hurting his feelings, Lisa didn’t dare to say anything. Ten years later, the house needed to be painted again. This time Lisa wanted to hire a professional painter, but her brother insisted on doing for her. He brought the paint, which Lisa recognized as the same yellow paint, with a color that Lisa had really begun to hate. ”Brother, are you sure this is antique white?” she asked, forcing a seriousness in her voice. ”Offcourse!” he answered, and Lisa was still too embarressed to object. Her brother didn’t have an easy life and she didn’t want to break his confidence. So the house was painted, same as before. Lisa did however notice a strange light in her brothers eyes. Another ten years passed, and the house needed to be painted a third time. This time however Lisa had had enough. Though it was her brother, she had become increasingly ashamed of her house had even stopped having guests over. With a deep breath she picked up the phone and called up her brother, ready to confront him. A woman answered; it was his wife. She could hardly speak because of her sobbing. Unfortunately Lisa’s brother had been killed in a car accident earlier that day.

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knock knock who's there? A worm, your dead in a coffin.

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Q: Why was the blonde so dumb? A: Because she wasn't properly educated.

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so....a guy is sitting on the couch looking out his living room window and a cab pulls up and honks..he says to himself, "wow that was quick, i just called for the cab 5 minutes ago!"

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personalities So do I

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things. Dead babies are not funny.

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What do you get a Jewish boy for Christmas? Nothing he died in 1943!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Hurricane Irene.

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do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? a boyscout comes back from camp.

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Goldilocks walks into a bar. But its not really a bar, it's a bear cave and she is eaten by porridge eating bears.

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A man walked into a bar and was then taken away in an ambulance dude to a severe concussion.

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The Detroit Lions

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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