how many Ethiopians can you fit in a bathtub? all of them.

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What is blue and smells like red paint, Blue Paint

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What do you call a red sore on your genitals? Herpes, probably.

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Adam Chebali goes to war and is quickly killed. The rest of the world rejoices as he can no longer post anti-jokes only he thinks are funny and brag about himself on anti-joke.com.

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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when geese fly in a V patteren why is on side longer than the other? not as many geese on that side

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What did the amputee get for Christmas? Shot.

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roses are red, violets are blue, my son is gay, f**k my life...

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My mom says to me are you gay and i say are you gay (What did i just do)

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Never mail in your wished to a genie, he may be dyslexic.

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Two muffins are being baked in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Man, it's starting to get really hot in here." The other muffin says, "MUFFINS CAN TALK?!"

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A woman walks up to her man and asks him to take out the trash. He agrees and takes the trash out.

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Man is hit by a falling tree his friend immediately responds "Got Wood" the man is now paraplegic

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Why did a monkey fall out of a tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of a tree? Gravity. Why did the third monkey fall out of a tree? He was stapled to the second monkey.

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What is worse than a case of the flu? Finding a dead camel on the highway with a half eaten lollipop in its mouth.

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Why was the Amish man dead? Because he fell off of his fridge, while trying to screw in a light bulb.

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Since little kids sleep with stuffed bears, do bears sleep with stuffed humans?

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What is shit? It's Deshitified already.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he coudn't find his tractor? A: "where's my tractor?"

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Why couldn't the blind man drive? His sight impairment made him unable to fulfill the task without harming himself and potentially other people.

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s s is for shit h h is for hit i i is for it t t is turtle

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A Canadian man, American man and French man all go to a wive swapping party. The Canadian gets the American's wife, the American gets the French wife, and the Frenchman dies of a brain aneurism and the Canadian wife is very disappointed in her night.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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