Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

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Why is Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven is a psychopath, that's why.

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A boat sinks in the ocean, what does the sailor do? Nothing, he wasn't on the boat.

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A duck walk into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender hands him a glass and the duck drinks it. After finishing his drink he ruminates about how drowning his misery with booze won't solve a thing in his life. He decided he'll call his ex-wife and apologize and goes back home.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am ADD Bird

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Knock knock (who's there) Orange ( orange who) orange you glad to see

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A devout Christian dies. Peter winks as his soul passes through the impenetrable Gates of Heaven. Everyone is gay and– like, gay as in happy– Fags aren't allowed in Heaven.

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A teacher, a consturction worker, and an army general are on an airplane. The pilot tells them the plane has too much weight, and if they don't each drop one item then the plane will crash. Realizing one item each is obviously not enough weight to throw off, the teacher and the construction worker team up and throw the army genral off the plane. They land safely, and live the rest of their life haunted by their vile actions.

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-Your mom worked as a prostitute and died a virgin.

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Why are we on a roof? Becuse some idiot gave us all roofies.

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What's worse than a Wasp at a picnic? Two wasps at a picnic. What's worse than two wasps at a picnic? A serial rapist. What's worse that a serial rapist? Three wasps at a picnic.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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Q: Why did the Westboro Baptist Church picket the gay marine’s funeral? A: Homosexuals are a plague sent by Satan to destroy the fabric of America.

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Q: how do you get a girl with one arm to fall out a tree? Wave and wait for her to wave back.

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What's the difference between the son of a prostitute and Luke Skywalker? Luke knew who his father was.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Obama is a good president, I beg to differ.

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A blond, brunette, and red head jump off a building. Who hit the ground last? The red head because she was last to jump.

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an old lady walked into a bar, used the bathroom and left. THE END

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What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

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What did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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How do you kill a retard You give em a kinfe and ask who's special

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What do you call a hispanic and black man flying a plane? A pilot and his co-pilot.

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An irishman walks into a bar and orders a beer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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