Why did the turtle cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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A girl asked for lip balm. She put some on and her lips exploded.

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Two men go hunting and one has a sudden heart attack. The other man calls 911 and immediately tells the operator his location and the nature of the emergency. Rescue workers arrive on the scene in a timely manner and the man makes a full recovery.

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I like my coffee like I like my women..... Without Hepatitis.

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1 I've been diagnosed with-- 2 I don't give a f*ck, go die in a hole!

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What do you call a black person driving a plane? A pilot, because you dont want to call him anything racist i mean he is driving you up 25,000 ft in the air and the last thing you want is for him to get mad and decide to do something rational, God, you racists.

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Two muffins were in an oven. One muffin said "Wow, its hot in here." The other muffin said "Oh my gosh a talking muffin!" The house burnt down because the oven created a fire.

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Did you hear the one about the avalanche that crashed into the bar? It was such a tragedy.

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Why do black people eat at KFC? Because KFC serves good food at reasonable prices.

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What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

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whats long and green? weed

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Knock, knock! Who's there? interupting little turtle interupting little tur... LITTLE TURTLE!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, he got hit by a bus.

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rosie o'donald goes on a diet

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What's funnier than an knock knock joke???? Dancing narwhals pooping talking soup

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What was Billy for Halloween? A pirate

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what did the police do when they saw an arab running towards a building? Watched him run by because he was probably late for something

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thomas hall= fuckin dikc

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What did the black man say to the man from Kyrgyzstan? I've never heard of your country before.

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What did the duck say when it saw a puddle? Nothing.Ducks are uncapable of speaking human speech.

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why was the boy crying he had cancer

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Roses are red the grass is green now open your legs and let me fill you with cream

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Q: What's grey and rocky? A: A grey rocking hair

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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