What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Eating mud

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Why did the robber wear a mask? Because he had eczema.

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A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

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1+2 = 6

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what purple and jolly barney who doesnt love his charactorial warmth!# not weird

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When life gives you carrots, don't make carrot juice, because it's gross.

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WILSON!!!!!!!!!

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why did the mexican cross the road? to catch its bus on the other side

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Why did Superman stop collecting stones? Did he ever? Moral: Yes but his kryptonite collection seemed to slow him down at times... until he stopped...

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. No, the Holocaust never happened, you're an idiot.

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Why did Hitler cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways. Only after practicing proper safety procedure did he venture across the busy thoroughfare to retrieve his asthma medication from his car.

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at poems show me your boobs

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what is worse than a pile of dead babies? there is one alive at the bottom. what is worse than that? it eats its way out.

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Q. What did the fat man say when he ate a salad? A. Yum.

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What did one ginger say to the other We have red hair

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What do you call a chicken with it's head chopped off. A decapitated chicken.

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What's better than fornicating two 4 year old twins? Killing their parents in front of them before you do.

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A B C D E F G.... Gummy bears are chasing me 1 is red, 1 is blue 1 is tryin to steal my shoe now i'm running for my life cuase the red 1 has a knife

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Whats funnier than a massacre? Everything.

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Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

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A chicken walks into McDonalds. He never comes out because he got grilled, greased, and seasoned.

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How many owls can you fit in a bath tub?

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Is this the krusty Crab? No you idiot this is a phone!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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