Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

What do you call a really bad actor? Nicholas Cage

Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

Always put punctuation at the end of your sentence

It was a warm summer day when justin beiber got hit by the bus everyone was cheering

MRCANN YOUR A FUCKIN' CARROT LERN 2 FOCKIN SIT IN YER HOLE YA FUCKIN PLANT

how many babies dose it take to paint a fence it depends on how hard you throw them

whats your name? bumder:)

There are two muffins sitting in an oven the first muffin turns to the other and says "Its pretty hot in here." the second muffin jumps back and yells "HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

What's funny about a man walking into a bar? He was a clown.

A wife asks her husband to treat her like she's special. So he tells her, "Gooooooooooo... Maaaaaaaaaaaaake... Meeeeeeee.... Aaaaaa.... Saaaaaaaandwitch

How do you make a baby float? Two scopes of Ice cream and two scopes of baby.....and the holocaust.

Joe Biden

What do you call a black man jumping off a bridge? Suicide.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet.

What does the rubbish do when it is depressed? It breaks down.

How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, He has died, And now will you,

What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? The Holocaust

Knock Knock? Who's there? The police The police who? I'm sorry mam but your husband is dead.

God and Allah are having a metaphysical picnic, God says to his fellow deity: "Why do you think so many humans have been killed in our names?" Allah muses upon this for a moment and replies: "Because they think we exist."

What's worse than dying in a car wreck with your family? You being the only one that dies.

Q: What do a dead cat and a flower have in common. A: Nothing, just go away.

A women gets on a bus, the bus driver says 'that is the ugliest baby i have ever seen!' the women pays for her ticket and sits on one of the seats while the bus pulls off.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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