Why did Santa die? Because he got diabetes from so many cookies

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What do you call seven pine trees and a roll of toilet paper? Mongoloid.

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Whats black and white and red all over?.. The L.A. Race Riots.

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A Jew and a Muslim are playing golf. Just not together.

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A man was walking down the sidewalk. Then he turned into a drugstore.

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The lemons on the tree are ripe. They will be picked.

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there once was a man named china who got stuck in yo mamas vagina he escaped through her butthole minus her butt mole and then died a horrible and painful death

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What's black and very long? The line-up at KFC.

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How do you get a bent nail out of a board? You carefully pry it out with the back of the hammer.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple?  Getting raped by a 10 foot scorpion.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her she is a burnette.

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your girlfriend is so dumb she is clinically retareded

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Why don't dinosaurs talk anymore? Because they're all dead, duh. :P

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If you could eliminate one thing in your life, what would it be ? My ex.

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interru--- MOO! I'm so sorry, I have Tourette's Syndrome and cannot control these sudden outbursts. Please continue.

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A red house is red. A blue house is blue. What color is the green house? Clear they are made of glass.

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Life gave me limes. Now how am I suppose to make lemonade

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Dave: Hey, Doug! How was your day? Doug: My mother is dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue this poem makes no sense Potato

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet. The man who wrote this, Was high as shit.

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What is the difference between a black man and a speed bump? A black man is a living thing and a speed bump is not.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza is an Italian food and a jew is a human that practices the Jewish faith

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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