Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

how do you get an old man to fall? tip over his wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call an Indian cook, that cooks in a Chinese restaurant? A chef

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A dog walks into a bar, followed by his blind owner.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Regardless of the number of dead babies present, painting a house will require at least one living baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -153

Why are we posting shit jokes on here? Because we can't drink!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a man that paints on a his face and wears big shoes? Lady Gaga.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? More than 6.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Chuck Norris is an average human being!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you get when you have sex with a $10 prostitute? Nothing, she's clean. She may be low-scale, but she'll be damned if she's not careful.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

clamidia

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Trick question they cant afford one.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the old man say when those damn kids stepped on his lawn? Nothing one of those kids killed him around three years back....

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophob? a blowjob

thumb_up thumb_down +1

96

thumb_up thumb_down -14

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Dave." "Dave who?" Dave holds back tears as he realises his mother's Alzheimer's is getting worse.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

If life gives you lemons, don't accept them because you have a citrus allergy.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock knock? Who's there? Set up. Set up who? Punch line!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: Doctor B: Doctor who? A: Doctor Johnson, i'm here to check up on you. How's the medication going? B: It's going well thank you, it's working. A: That's very good to hear. Hope you recover soon. B: Thank you!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why'd the dead man cross the road? He didn't, he was dead, therefore incapable of doing anything at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Mario walks into a bar A yak walks into a bar An orange walks into a bar 30 men barf in a juicy yot

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops