whats purple and attacks like a bear? a purple bear

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So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

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-What did the duck say to Federico Costa nearby the phonebox in a rainy day? -Quack

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What's worst then a parking ticket? The plague

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Someone threw a cigarette at me today... What a fag.

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two guys are waiting at a train station...6 hours later one guy turns to the other and says "train aint coming"

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? Years of slavery.

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If I told you I was straight I'd be lying

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don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

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how do you drowned a blonde? put ankle weights on her and throw her in a river.

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mat (telling anti joke): so you are stranded in a desert, right and kyle: no. Mat: no man i'm Kyle: no (kyle was later found dead)

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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A blind man walk in to a bar... He then yells a 4 letter explative, backs up, and walks around it.

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how do you french braid? ask a french dude to braid your hair DUHH

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Q: what is long hard and full of seamen A: a submarine

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawer? we are both lawyers

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Black people are ugly. They should not live in this world. They are apes. They should live as apes not humans. Why do they have ugly curly hair, fat lips, and a big flat nose? SO UGLY!! EWW

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How do you know this is an Antijoke? Its on anti-joke.com

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Person 1:"Knock Knock" Person 2: Whos there.... Wait why did you literally say the words "Knock Knock" Person 1: I have no idea

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I told my doctor I’m the first man on the face of the earth to suffer from morning sickness. He promptly corrected my mistake; my excessive vomiting is actually caused by chemo.

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

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why couldn't the blind man hear? because he was also deaf.

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Q: Why did the boy have a bloody nose? A: Because a serial killer split his head in half with an axe.

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Donald Trump

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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