Why did the black man run when he heard police sirens? Because he was parked in a handicap spot

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why did the little girl fall out of the tree? She didnt have any arms

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Why did Gary's cat fall from the tree? He didn't use enough gaffa tape.

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Why did Paul Walker cross the road? He wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

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how makes licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? depends on how determined you are to find out

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A pony goes to the doctor saying his throat hurts, the doctor sais "oh I know, your a little hoarse". The pony replies, no I'm not ass-hole I have strep throat.

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What do you call a snake at a snail convention? A snake at a snail convention.

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What did the sign say? It said slow down

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There's was an old lady. She fell in a puddle

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Q. How many Jews can you fit in a blender ? A. 37 but you can try and prove me wrong

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Why did my toaster break? because it was made in china

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A man is lonely and calls a hooker. She goes to his house, pleasures him, and then demands 42 million dollars. The man shoots the whore and throws her body into a river.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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What's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it? Getting brutally raped by a giant transvestite donkey witch.

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Why did sally break her arm? A piano fell on her

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Whats the difference between a fish and whale? Ones bigger than the other.

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Why was the pirate not allowed into the movie? tickets were sold out

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two guys r talking and the one said *i swear to god* and the other one said *u swear what to god what the hell r u talking about i dont even know u*

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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What did the wannabe mother get for Christmas A miscarriage.

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What has a skinny head and specky? Josh Moran.

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What do you say to a black man on fire... Stop, drop and roll !!!

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How are friends and trees alike? They fall down when you hit them with an ax.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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