Women. Can't live with them. Can't systemically murder them without compromising the reproductive integrity of the species.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he wasn't happy!

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Why are black guys so tall? Because their knee grows

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Q: What did the pedestrian say to the bus driver that hit him? A: Nothing, he died.

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a horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" Unable to understand English, the horse shits on the floor and leaves.

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Roses are blue, Roses are red. Give me your money, Or I'll cut off your head.

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Bob: If two negatives make a positive, what would be an anti-anti-joke? Tim: An anti-joke

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What did the black guy say to the drug dealer? "You should probably stop dealing drugs to people because it is illegal and you could be sent to prison for doing so."

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A Penguin walk into a bar and asks "Have you seen my brother?" And the bartender replies "What does he look like?"

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what did the leprosy survivor get for christmas a amputation

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What disease did Harry Styles get? 1Infection! (if you don't know, Harry Styles is 1direction's manager)

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Why, apples are the optimum environment for the worm species, offering a stable temperature with the efficiency of nutrition and comortable value, therefore in reality finding a worm in your apple is a healthy suggestion that the Global Warming effects on Earth have not yet affected the ever increasing innocent worm population.

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Q: How do you make Osama Bin Ladin happy? A: Take him out to a nice seafood dinner free of charge.

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Roses are red, Violets aren't blue, They're fucking violet, And I hate you.

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Knock Knock Who's There? The Police The Police Who? Uhm, Ma'am your son just died in a car wreck

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-Doctor! Scientists in California have enough proofs to demonstrate that the Christian religion is false. -Oh my God!

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Why does Toby suck! Because he sucks!

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How about that airline food?

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What's black, white, and red all over? Many different things are black, white, and red; to list just one would be an unfair judgment of things containing these three colors.

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when life gives you skittles you take a handful and throw it at someone face and yell taste the rainbow

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Haikus are awesome but sometimes they don't make sense hippopotamus

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Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? A. From a catalogue.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas?? - Cancer

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What did Sammy get for Christmas? Raped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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