Whats Funnier than 24?........ 25

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They say there is safety in numbers Tell that to six million jews

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I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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What did Helen Keller do at a concert? Sit.

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If I crash my car, how many trees does it take to cover my yard in orange juice, yellow, because a cat pissed on my foot.

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Why did Helen Kelley's dog run away I'd run away to if my name was. Ughgughgughgiggughfufh.

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When an anvil and a feather are dropped off a building the anvil will hit the ground first because it's heavy

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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What size pants did the gorilla wear? An abnormaly large pair compared to the average human because their weight and width are porportionaly larger for their speices.

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A man walked into a bar. He said "ow". Tragic.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is theoretically impossible to read another's inner thought process, but it was probably due to the electric stimulation from the brain to give the chicken's muscles the ability to move.

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How many cavemen does it take to change a lightbulb? A caveman wouldn't know what to do with a lightbulb.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs after he got into a fight with his cat? You call him by his name and apologize for leaving catnip on his head.

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A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

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What happened to the peanut who went to NYC? Nothing because he was eaten on the plane

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Q: What is black and white, black and white, black and white? A: A Nun falling down the stairs.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she wasn't a woman

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Two guys walk into a bar. One man walks out of the bar at a similiar time.

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When will Abe Vigoda be alive again? Never. There will never again be a time when Abe Vigoda will be alive. For example, Abe Vigoda will be dead for the entirety of the year 2038. He will continue to be dead if we move forward to the year 2091, and even if we keep jumping forward throughout history, stopping in the years 2250, 2871, and 3546, we will not land in an era when Abe Vigoda will be alive. Another way to look at this is to imagine Abe Vigoda had died in earlier years. Let's say he had died in 1902. Would he be alive today? The answer, sadly, is no. We get the same answer if we suppose Abe Vigoda had died in 1822, 1715, or ~ 85,200,000 BPE. To sum up, it is not precisely accurate to say that Abe Vigoda will be dead for a very long time. That implies a limit on the amount of time he will be dead. There is no limit.

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What is green but looks like a silver car? A silver car....I lied about the green part.

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

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what is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a cadilac. a cadilac is something i want

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Why did Jimmy pass out Cause he drank a full tallboy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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