Why was the baby flying? Because it's face was stapled to the propeller of a helicopter.

What does two plus two equal? 4

Your momma smells so bad that she purchased arm and hammer products to improve upon her natural scent.

Q: What's long and brown? A: The unemployment line.

What's the difference between a cow and a cow? Nothing, they are both the same.

Why did the orange have to wear a tie to the party? Because Rodric the Pear suggested it.

A man says to another man, "Why the long face?" He then replies, "I have an elongated face, hands, and feet due to acromegaly."

Knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Just me

What's white and flies around ? A seagull. What's black and flies around ? A seagull in the darkness.

Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Don't worry, he didn't either

Q: What's Funnier than a baby spinning around a pole at 300 MPH? A: Stopping it with a shovel.

Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

Yesterday, I was hosting a party, and there were a lot of people crowding around some fruit punch I made all trying to get a glass... Whoops, it appears I forgot the Punch line.

Your mom walked into a bar and got kicked out cause there's no dogs allowed.

Why didn't the man kiss his wife. Because he had no lips.

okay so one time my dog was eating an octopus tail and i was all like...Bro! octopus are our friends dont eat them! then he was all like okay...so later i saw my goldfish eating a blue kangaroo and i was all like bro blue kangaroos are our friends dont eat them and she was all like okay.. so then i saw my sandwich eating itself and i was like bro...let me eat you instead! and it was like okay. then i saw a bear eating you so i was like bro....thats all i said before it ate both of us :( and thats the story of why i have 6 toes on my left buttcheek

How did the man kill the black fly? He called the KKK fly and had it lynch the black fly

"Knock, Knock" "Go away, I have a lot of stuff to do right now and knock knock jokes suck."

Why did the man stop suddenly in the street? His unhealthy diet, alcoholism and smoking habit caused him to have a heart attack at the age of 56. He died because of it.

Why are their so many lesbians? cause they LOVE the pussy.. (Tastes soo wet and tight)

What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

What did the parrot say to the dumb man? Nothing

Joe Alfon walkes into hell, The devil say: " hi" And joe burns to death

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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