How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

So there was a jewish guy, a black guy, and a white guy all sky diving. They all had an amazing time and they all went to a bar later to talk about what they just had experienced.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why is the boy severely mentally scarred? He got raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

if yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a fat kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A bus with 11 passengers is making its final stops for the night. At main street it drops of 6 people and picks up 2, at broad it drops of 3 and picks up 4, at 3rd street it drops of 5 and picks up 1, and finally at 6th street it drops off 4 and picks up 0. How many people are still on the bus? 13 if you include the dead bodies in the back

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Boy: Mother, I'm dying! Mother: Ha, lol, I put poison in your cheese! Boy: MOTHER! Boy: *dies*. Mother: Ha, lol!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

roses are red violets are blue no one likes raisen bran except your mom

thumb_up thumb_down +26

throbbing slobber

thumb_up thumb_down +50

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why couldn't the cow move? It had Cystic Fibrosis.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the little girl stop riding her bike? She was hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

There are 3 type of people in the world. People who can count, and people who can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Person 1: Knock Knock Person 1: Who's there Person 1: me me you who you me you who me you no me (say super dooper quickly)

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A Starfish walks into a bar. He sits down next to a man with a concussion. Q: What did the man say? A: Nothing because he was in a concussion and was no longer able to say words.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had legs and knew how to walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what's black and white? everything. i'm a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you make pie without the oven? I dont kow, go google it.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse then me banging your mom? The fact that I gave her HIV

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

you know what hurts, a revolver bullet in your brain.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A fast car that's painted red and green...

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops