Why didn't Timothy wish his dad a Happy Father's Day? His dad died yesterday in a car accident.

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What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

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Q.A duck walks into a bar and asks for grapes.What is the duck asking for? A. Nothing... Ducks can't talk

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What do you get when you shoot 3 cute kittens that have just walked into the house? 3 dead kittens

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One sunny Tuesday morning, Tom and his friends were outside playing at the park. Then, suddenly, a violent storm was rapidly approaching. It was recommended that everyone should seek shelter immediately.

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What did one gorilla say to the other? Urgh.

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What’s the best part about winning a gold medal? Nothing. You’re on acid and staring straight at the sun.

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sky's the limit said the tree a.w. j.p.

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no pen = no studying no studying = bad grades bad grades = no job no job = no money no money = no food no food = death DON'T LOSE YOUR PEN

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There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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A man walks into a bar, has a few drinks and spots a nice looking lady He then follows her home and molestes her child.

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Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

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Hey, guess what? What? Dammit!

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How do you make a Child cry? Slaughter his dog and feed it to him convincing him its Chili

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What did the amputee get for Christmas? Shot.

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My grandmother's zodiac sign was cancer, and she was killed by a giant crab.

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roses are red unless they are the pink ones oh yeah they're also pretty expensive

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why did the chicken cross the road cause he was suicidal but a car just didnt happen to hit him.

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Why was the gay kid beaten to death Because he was also an outstanding racist and lived in a highly populated african american community.

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a older brother and a lil brother have bunk beds, one night the older brother has his gf sneak over, they are going to have sex. he tells his gf, "say lettace for a new positon and say tomato for stop", they start and she screams, "lettace, tomato, lettace, tomato". then the lil brother says " will you guys stop making salad, ur getting mayonase all over my face!!!!"

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Patient: "Doctor, I have a strawberry stuck in my bum" Doctor: "Well, that's an awfully peculiar place to keep a strawberry. What were you thinking?"

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Why did the black man get sent to prison? He had committed many crimes and was finally caught by the police.

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Why did sarah fall of the swing? she has no arms. Knock knock. whos there? not sarah.

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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