What do you call a horse with wings? Nonexistant. Welcome to the real world kid.

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I got a new jacket. The jacket had real cotton inside the sleeves. The next day my new jacket was gone, but the one i bought yesterday wasn't.

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Q: Whats the difference between nude pics and your mom? A: I can wackk off to nude pics

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How do you make a lawyer cry? You can't. The production of tears requires a soul, which, regretfully, no lawyer possesses.

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What side of the cheetah has the most spots? -The outside.

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What is funnier than an anti-joke? My SAT scores.

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Whats the first thing you do when your grandmother gets hit by a toaster? Buy a new toaster.

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Why did the city disappear? Someone nuked it

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"Knock knock?" "Who's there?" "Two dead kittens."

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Sorry I am like so fucking wasted still, I keep giggling and laughing all of the time.

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If a guy has a sex change what is the first thing he would say? Boobies!

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Icecream

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what did the therapist say to the other therapist? were both therapists.

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Q: If you're driving down the street in your canoe and the wheels fall of, how many pancakes does it take to shingle your dog's garage? A: 27, because bananas have no bones.

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A mosquito flies into a bar and orders a bloody mary, the bartender then takes out a swatter and kills the pest. Noticing the event, the patrons cheer and continued drinking their frothy beverage. Minutes later, the phone rings and the bartender answers the phone. "Hello?" "Hi, I'm looking for a friend of mine, is he there?" "Let me check, by the way, what's his name?" "Jack Hoff" "One sec. HEY FELLAS(yelling over the noisy bar), IS THERE A JACK HOFF HERE? I NEED A JACK HOFF! ANYONE?" Mr. Hoff, sitting at the bar hears this and asks, "who is it?" "He said he's a friend of yours!" "Which one?" " He said his name's Dick Stroker and he needs help on something hardhe'll meet you around back." "Oh ok, thanks."

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Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? Because it was broken.

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Your mother is so unintelligent that her IQ score is equal to or lower than 2 standard deviations below the national average of 100 on the Mensa approved intelligence test that has been properly administered and supervised.

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Black people having a Job.

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Why did the jew go into the gas chamber? Because he thought he was going to get a shower.

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Yo mama so ugly that she often has trouble being attractive towards people of the opposite gender

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A man walks into a bar He orders a beer, drinks the beer, then leaves.

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An Englishman, an American and a Frenchman are standing on the side of a cliff. The Englishman jumps off the cliff. The American also jumps off the cliff. He is followed by the Frenchman. Suicide and depression are major problems in today's world regardless of nationality.

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whats the biggest ever snake found ? i dont know i dont study snakes :O

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What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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