How did the fat kid stop the bus? He didn't...

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What is the saddest episode on tv ever? The live broadcast of the World Trade Center being destroyed.

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what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

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What do nine out of ten people enjoy? Gang rape.

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Why did the homeless man not get any ice cream from the store? Because he was not very bright and didn't try in school. Therefore he couldn't find a job or get his job back at the janitor at Go-Mart. This proves that not doing your school work correct can really effect your future. Plus they was sold out of chocolate.

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A man sees another man sitting on a bench with a pickle in his ear. He asks the man "Why do you have a pickle in your ear?" The other man replies "What? I couldn't hear you because I have a pickle in my ear."

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When life gives you lemons. You make beef stew. #andymilinokis

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Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

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Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

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Okay, So a Cow, a Lumberjack and a Fireman walk into a bar. The cow asks the bartender, "What kind of milk do you have?" The bartender looks confused and asks," Why would a cow want milk?" The cow replies,"I've been producing milk all my life and I've never had a chance to try it. I'd just like some milk." The bartender replies,"Okay we have whole milk, 2%, and skim milk. What'll you have?" The cow says,"Whole milk, I want the whole deal." The bartender obliges. Next the Lumberjack comes up to the bar. The bartender asks, "What'll you have?" The lumberjack asks for some syrup. The bartender inquiries,"What kind of syrup would you like?" The lumberjack answers,"Pure Maple, imitation, or chocolate. All work for me." The bartender turns and pours a shot of pure maple syrup and turns away. Finally the fireman walks up the the bartender and says, "Can I have a glass of water?" The bartender turn and ask inquisitively,"Why?" The fireman quickly replies,"TO PUT OUT THE FIRE!"...

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Why did the chicken cross the traffic filled road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? Chicken delivery.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Another holocaust.

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Baby you're so hot I have an erection the size of an average penis.

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What's the difference between 9/11 and Jenga? The World Trade Center wasn't ruined by clumsiness.

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What would Bruno Mars do if he was on the moon? Gasp and grab his throat in an attempt to get oxygen flowing into his lungs with no avail.

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What will happen when a black person die they die

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whats long black, eight inches and sometimes has white on the tips of them? a black mans foot the wears an eight inch shoe.

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diarrhea.

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what long hard and in a tight hole? a penis in a vagina

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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oh hai

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How do you wake up lady gaga Set her alarm clock to an appropriate time

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "Where's my tractor?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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