Roses Are Red I Have A Phone Nobody Txts Me Forever Alone

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What do you calla baby nailed to a wall? Art.

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what is black and white and read all over? a bankrupt newspaper that cannot afford color ink because the accountant misplaced company funds.

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Why does the Batman theme song have 'na na na na na na na na' in it so many times? I guess Batman really likes sodium. Or maybe his record player's broken.

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good one jess !!

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How do you make a girl scout cry? Kill her family.

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What's the hardest part about being a pedophile? Fitting in.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple ? Finding out your apple is rotten on top of that.

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How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

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What does does an elephant and a grape have in common? They are both grapes except for the elephant.

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so a boy walks into a bar he was underage and escorted out.

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What did the priest say to the little boy? "Reading antijokes in rapid succession takes almost all humor from them."

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A mathematician, a physicist and an economist are stranded on a deserted isle in the South Pacific. One day, a lantern washes up on shore. The scholars lament the uselessness of this object.

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How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He was he was astronomically and improbably lucky.

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What's the capital of Thailand? The letter 'T'...

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What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

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A guy walks into a bar, and then is hit with the full force of all the things he never did in life, of how he wasted his younger years chasing a bigger paycheck rather than trying to live life, and all the love he wasted on people who didn't care about him. He begins to cry as his first drink arrives, and orders many more as the night passes. He loses his keys as he leaves and stumbles home in a drunken stupor, contemplating suicide.

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a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. Who was the LAST one to hop it? the mexican because he had to clean it first.

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How can you upset Helen Keller? In Braille spell out that she can't see or hear the hunger games

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What happened to the public server who went to the 5 dollar brothel? He contracted syphilis and died several months later.

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a man walks into a house. he gets shot in the leg and is brought to jail because he was a burglar and was trying to steal the family's tv.

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guy walks into a bar a metal bar ouch

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A black man, an Asian man, and an American man are in a car. Who is driving? The black man, it's his car.

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What did the fridge say to the watermelon? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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