A man walks into a bar. The barman says, 'why the lo-, wait, i thought you was that horse again.'

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When life gives you oranges, make lemonade.

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Multi Orgasmic Pillow screechers

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Whats the answer to life? im not sure

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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The black man at the narcotics anonymous meeting said, "oh, this isn't bingo is it?" then walked out of the room feeling mildly embarassed.

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What did the contestant say to the game show host? If I don't win I will arrange to kill your family.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This doesn't rhyme F*ck it

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A man walks into a bar, and immediately sees a person with a big orange head seated near the back. He asked the bartender "why does that man have a big orange head?" "Buy him a drink and maybe he'll tell you." So the man bought him a drink and asked the guy with the big orange head why he has a big orange head, and he told him this story: "I was traveling in the sahara desert 10 years ago when I found a pure gold lamp in the sand. I rubbed the sand off so I could read what was on the side when a genie popped out and gave me 3 wishes. First I wished for many riches, and at once gold was all around my feet. Exited, I wished for the most beautiful wife in the world, and right in front of me appeared the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Third, I wished for a big orange head.

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Hey you know what? What? Never mind.

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A little boy asked his mom what fucking was, so she showed him.

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What do black people and bananas have in common? 50% of their DNA

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A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

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what do you call someone who kills jews? a life saver

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Women's rights

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What do you call a black scuba diver... A scuba diver.

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"One fish, two fish, red fish, the holocost." -Dr. Seuss

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A Scotsman, an Irishman and an Englishman walk into a bar... They enjoy their drinks and leave.

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What's the same between a plane a bird and a piece of celery? They all fly except the celery

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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?white vans

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Why didn't Jane text James? Because she was kidnapped.

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what do you call gingers ugly.

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If Irishmen didn't walk out of bars, they would collect and eventually fill the bars of the world and would die given the bars could not support them.

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how many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? usually one but depending on the severity of the patients' case the lightbulb will be changed by a person who is willing to offer their assistance as to prevent any form of accident taking place.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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