Q:How many prostitutes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two

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Why didn't the baby learn to walk? It got hit by a car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road??? Suicide.

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Doctor Doctor, I keep getting horrible boils all over my face! Okay then. Take off your underwear and we'll see what's going on.

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Have you heard that Bert & Ernie from Sesame Street are gay? If so, than whoever told you may be mentally challenged, Bert & Ernie are both puppets which even though they resemble people with active personalities, they remain puppets and do not have a sexual oreintation.

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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Q: How do you do to get an elephant down from a tree? A: Wait for the fall when the leaves start falling you shoot it down.

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A pregnant woman goes to the hospital to deliver a baby. It is born perfectly normal and healthy, the doctor looks at the mother and father offering them congratulations as he hands them a 9 lb 10 oz baby boy. The mother wanted a girl, but she instead develops post part em depression. She goes through years of psychotherapy to again become well adjusted, her second child is a girl.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents' farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers ravaged her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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What did the blind man say to his wife? Nothing, for he was mute too

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Knock knock Who's there? Boo AHHH A GHOST D:

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Every time you make fun of an Ethiopian child he dies a little on the inside.. But that's probably just from the hunger..

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a car.

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whats the easiest way to kill a baby? let it live a long and meaningful life, prolonging the inevitable death of old age.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

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Your mom is so old that her organs are starting to slowly fail and she must be put on life support or she'll die.

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what is the difference between my pubes and my actualy hair on my head.... my pubes didnt fall off when i went trough chemo

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Why did the man explode when he ate the cheeseburger? Because the man was actually a bomb.

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What do you call 4 Mexicans at the bottom of the ocean? Cuatro sinco.

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What's the difference between Harry Potter and the Jews? Harry Potter can escape the chambers.

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Where does a king keep his armies? In his sleevies

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops