When do doctors make house calls? When you're sick.

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oh hey.

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What does a baseball and a T-Rex have in common? What? Neither of them is a carrot.

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Where did all the time go? In a recent study, 100% of all time, all systems go.

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What does a turkey do? I don't know I'm not a turkey

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What do you call a cat without a face ? - Kitty !

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless this event results in you being a vegetable.

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That moment when you touch your balls then sniff your fingers and realize it smells good.

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their firstborn child.

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Why so serious? Why bad grammar?

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Why did the boy stop singing? Because his lungs collapsed.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a tasty treat you can peal and enjoy and the other is an orange

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When someone calls me ugly, I run up and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

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Why did the chicken cr-VAGINA!!!!!!!!!!! sorry, tourettes.

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There once was a man from Madrass, whose balls were made out of brass. This was incredibly embarrassing for him, and rendered him infertile and impotent, which in turn affected his relationships with women.

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A kid walks in to a bar. The bartender asks the boy where his parents are and he replies that he does not know. They call the police who proceed to try to contact the boy's parents. They have gone missing so the boy must go up for adoption. He gets adopted by an abusive family and runs away. Without a family, job, or money, he could not afford a house. He lived alone in a box until he died of starvation.

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Why shouldnt you take the virginity of a 14 year old? Their pre-frontal lobe is not developed enough to sufficiently judge the affect of this action on their life.

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Two women were sitting in silence.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Many of people would like to know this question. We have not invented a mind reading device and chickens can't communicate with humans. So no one knows

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The Joke Below

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There was this guy who walked in the bar with one shoe. The bartender asks what happened. The man said the shoe didn't fit. So the bartender ask where is the other shoe. The man said he threw it away. The bartender looks in the trashcan and sure enough he sees his other shoe. The bartender says "This is the same size as your other shoe. Why are you wearing one shoe?" The man says "I'm just playing a prank on you. There's a hidden camera over there and over there. Is it okay if I can put you on YouTube?" and the bartender says "No."

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What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk? "I set WHO free?"

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I am a schizophrenic, so am I.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i got 5 Fingers, the middle ones for you ?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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