If a tree falls on a woman, and no one is around to hear it, what is a tree doing in the kitchen?

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What do you get when you cross Bambi and a ghost? Bamboo

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What kind of coins to you find at the bottom of the ocean? Wet coins.

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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Have you ever noticed that when geese fly in a V, one side is long than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares

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...and the rabbit says, "How 'bout that schnitzel!"

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Whats better than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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Garry Glitters on here

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I had some crack, my unicorn says hi.

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What happened to Kanye West when he interrupted a KKK ritual meeting? He was promptly hung from a tree for being a negro.

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"Hello, is this the Krusty Krab?" "No, this is Patrick."

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Why did the fly get off the toilet? It got pissed off.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Postman. But I wasn't expecting a parcel. Is it for 37? No, Sorry, its for 35.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who the hell keeps shiting in my garden

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What is black, white and red all over? A black man has been shot and a white paramedic is standing over him trying to save his life.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I have cancer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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The man was so gay he grew breasts and got breast cancer.

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Q. What is worse than being British???? A. Not being British

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what's red and has seven feet? the red man who had seven feet as a result of a serious genetic mutation

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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