What do you call a dog? A cat. What do you call a cat? A banana.

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hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

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Does that doctor take insurance? No, the receptionist takes the insurance, the doctor takes your blood... Well actually, the nurse does that.

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Whats worse than getting hit in the face with an axe? Getting hit in the face with two axes.

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A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

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Adam Chebali goes to war and is quickly killed. The rest of the world rejoices as he can no longer post anti-jokes only he thinks are funny and brag about himself on anti-joke.com.

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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whats similar between a chicken and an alligator they both gobble except for they alligator

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

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yo mamas so dumb she named her house butt and her son crack and then she called the police saying I looked all over my butt and i can not find my crack.

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What did the man before he was executed? Nothing. He was already executed before he said something.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a structure used to support sitting people, the other is a human being native to Mexico.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a predator and crossing the road led it away from it's pursuer.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? No one... you have no friends.

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Why doesn't the Athiest wear socks? He has a minor fungal condition on his feet.

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An IRS agent named Harold Crick finds that he has the ability to hear a narrator comment on every moment of his life. He later becomes institutionalized in the Schizophrenic ward.

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Roses are yellow Violets are also yellow Please don't stereotype again

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Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

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What do Ethiopians do at night? Starve.

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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A black man, an Asian, a Jew, and an American all jump off a building. Unfortunately, they all died on impact and their families will mourn for years to come.

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Daughter: Dad I have some news for you Dad: What is it? Daughter: I am pregnant Dad: ... I am so happy I am going to have a grandson, my 27 year old daughter just married and now pregnant, this is a great day!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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