Why is Chuck Norris' beard so great? because he grooms it daily.

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Question: So, what do you get if you put a live dog, a dead cat, some sugarcubes, and your sisters panties (HORMONES OKAY? EVERYBODY KNOWS HORMONES EQUALS SPICE! Or something anyways...) In a blender until its all red and squishy? The hell I know, but put some Redbull in it, and its fucking delicious!

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Why didn't the door open? Because it was locked

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2 Men Walk Into A Bar, I Forget The Rest.

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my uncle tommy is super religious. last month he's walking down the street, he gets mugged and shot in the chest. now miraculously (and i mean miraculously), he always keeps a bible in his left chest pocket. and he had something to read as he bled to death.

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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why did the kid fall off his bike he had a serious illness which made it difficult for him to play sports

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alert('The Game')

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What do you get if you throw a banana at the wall? Nothing.

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I once met with Mahatma Gandhi and he said to me "Child, why do I walk this earth?.. What is the meaning of my living?.. Why am I alive?" and I bowed in respect of his wisdom and said "I don't know. Why do you?" and he said "I don't I'm dead."

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How many police does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they all beat the room for being black.

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Gay's rights

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A: Did you know Helen Keller had a treehouse? B: No. A: Neither did she.

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Why did the Octopus jump off the bridge? To breathe

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what did the book say to the lamp? nothing because BOOKS CANT TALK

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A man quites his job to open a coffee shop which has been a dream of his for years, The shop does well with a healthy supply of customers and a steady income,The man is now financially stable.

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Whats the difference between a black an white guy? They have different skin tones

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How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

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your mom is so fat that she had to start going to a gym to exercise and get her weight under control.

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Two black guys and two asians get pulled over. The cop says i cant let you go unless all of your dicks add up to 15 inches. They added up to exactly 15 inches - The black guys both added up to 7 inches each and the asians added up to 1/2 inch each. When they were driving away both of the asians said thank god we had boners.

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I think my son might be gay. He's started to listen to Justin Bieber, and last week I walked in on him engaging in penetrative anal sex with one of his friends.

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XD I TOTALLY CANT BELIEVE I FELL FOR THAT ONE! XD IT WAS LIKE SO OBVIOUS! XD

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How can you tell a baby lost it's voice? It doesn't scream when you staple it to a ceiling fan and turn it on.

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why was 6 afraid of 9? because 7 ate 9 and 6 is afraid of ghosts

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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