Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

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a blind man walks into a bar it hurt.

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What did you call something that is long, hard and full of seamen? A ship.

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Q: Why did Suzie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? There are many circumstances that could affect the outcome of the situation. One of them is whether or not the given people have or will soon obtain a ladder. In this case, the lightbulb could take more time than needed to be screwed in and effectively changed. Another key factor in the situation is the number of people. If there are enough people to reach the ceiling without a ladder, the lightbulb could be screwed in sooner or later than asked by the owner of the facility in which the lightbulb socket is installed. Finally, the height of the persons given is a crucial point in this situation. The people may be tall, thus allowing there to be fewer people needed. The people could be short and need a greater number of people than if the people were, perhaps, a bit taller. All in all, I'd say about 1-2.

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What is the difference between a fridge? I'm sorry, I have a severe mental disability and telling jokes is not... F'tang F'tang Zoop Pong Wii!

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To murder your whole family.

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When is a tree not a tree? When it's a rock.

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Justin Littleton's mom accidentally texting him about buying weed, and then offering to buy him ice cream to make up for it.

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roses are grey violets are grey i am a dog woof woof

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dont be races! be like mario he is a italian plumer , he works for a white princess , catches coins like a jewish guy and he jumps like a black guy.

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *smiles* Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust ascending from hell.

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what do you call a retarded kid? jack kamstra

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roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

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on a scale from a banana to a pound coin - how much do you like the works of antonio vivaldi?

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What do lawyers and sharks have in common? They both play vital roles in their own society or ecosystem.

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roses are black violets are black i am blind

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who's there? Alzheimers

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Penis.

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What did the clitoris say to the labia? I'm from the hood, the clitoral hood.

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Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

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Whats worse than sourcraut? Casey Anthony.

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What can you conclude about a black man in a mercedes? He has crack and car insurance.

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How many theropists does it take to change a lightbulb? -only one, but it takes a very long time and the lightbulb has to want to change.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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