roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +115

Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cow moo

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats Worse that 10 babies stapled to 1 tree? 1 Baby stapled to 10 trees

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What is the priest favorite book? The Bible

thumb_up thumb_down +56

If your name is coincidentally stated in this text, you will have to pay 200 of your country's currency to the person nearest to you whose first name starts with the letter G. Dexter / Ryan That is all....

thumb_up thumb_down -3

have you seen the movie, Constipated? Never mind, it hasn't come out yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If an orange is orange then why isn't a banana called a yellow? Because the word 'banana' comes from the Arabic word for finger as it obviously resembles a finger. The person that named the orange was equally lazy, but just not Arabic.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the unicorn say to the horse? I have a horn and you don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q: Whats worst than the Holocaust A: If a second Holocaust happened, and then you found an apple in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What happened when Mark's hair died? He got depressed that he was growing old and the signs of it were showing.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Little Jimmy never make it in the NBA? Because he died at age 6.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a 1980 mustang and a pile of dead babies? I don't have the mustang in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was there an awkward silence? Because numerous people gathered in a room were not talking.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

What did the dyslexic boy get for Christmas? A laptop. And he was very happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

how many high school boys does it take to change a light bulb?? idk the light bulb in my bathroom is out and i need to know how many boys to call over to fix it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you say to an over weight Jewish mother? "Work on those crunches" He was her coach.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the Calculus teacher give an Asian student an F on a test? Because he got less than 60% of the answers correct.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

There once was a man from Peru, he dreamt he was eating his shoe, he then woke up, took a shower, changed, and drove to work.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why do so many black people like watermelon? The same reason so many white people, do. Have you had that stuff, it's really good!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did Uncle Monty shove his head up a horses arse? Because it gave Doris an erection. She chose to keep her male genital organs following her gender changing procedure, so that she could still father children.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why do people discriminate against black people? Because they show an undeserving amount of disrespect towards the rest of the world and why should they get anything better than what they offer.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: babies lack the intelligence and motor skills to accomplish such a task so it is not practical to hire them for a painting job.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops