How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? (written in 1600 BCE - Westcar Papyrus) -You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish

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What do you call justin bieber haveing sex with a lady? A dream

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car

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What did the giraffe say to the other giraffe. Nothing, giraffes are animals and thus cannot speak

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Yo mamma's so short that she is 12 inches below the average height of a woman at her age.

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An Asian gets into her car to drive to her grandmother's house. She arrives at 6:30 and has a wonderful dinner.

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A blonde, red head and brunette decide the jump off a cliff....... They all die

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A rabbi, a nun, a priest, a hooker, a stripper, 2 secret servicemen, a teacher, a midget, a ginger, a rodeo clown, a nascar driver, a homosexual native american, a heterosexual native american, 2 portuguese tuba players, an african american taxi driver, a blind man, his seeing eye dog, a bartender, 2 minor league baseball players, 3 lesbian mexican salsa dance instructors and a dwarf are all in a bar. They all had a good time and the teacher and one ol the portuguese tuba players ended up becoming facebook friends.

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what did the dog say to the cat nothing because dogs can`t talk and if they could talk the cat wouldn`t understand him because cats can`t talk

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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Q:where does baby oil come from? A:Only the finest of babies

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If strippers are exotic dancers then drug dealers are to exotic pharmacists.

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whats big fat round and bounces on the ground? a ball and your mum

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why doesnt cornelia say anything? she didnt answer

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Little Timmy enjoyed school He went to Sandy Hooks

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ronald wants to join a gym, they tell him to lose 20 pounds before coming back or else.....

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A man walks into a bar. He has had a tough day at work and unwinds with a beer. He goes home to his loving family. He makes love to his wife that night. It's good but not great.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? One walks on the moon and the other f*cks little boys.

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What did Michael jackson say to Abraham Lincoln? Nothing, there are both currently deceased, if they did, however, say something to each other, it would not be in person, because they are both dead.

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Q: How many jews can you fit in a car A: 2 in the front. 3 in the back and as many as you want in the ash tray.

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what did the boy with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for easter AIDS

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A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

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A man returns from the army and finds his wife in bed with another man. He kills them both.

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Q: What did Mr. Spock say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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