Just think...there are 7 billion people in the world...so that's 14 billion orgasms!

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Bride: "He went to Jared's!!! Ex: "But every Kiss Begins with Kay...."

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If Michael Jackson were alive today, what would he be doing? Scratching at the top of his coffin.

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* Why is this dog barking? * Because he's a dog, if he were a cat it would meow.

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why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

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What did little boy with no arms and no legs get for chrismas: a bike

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What's worse than getting a divorce? Nuclear warfare

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DON'T LOOK A GIFT HORSE IN THE MOUTH BECAUSE HORSES HAVE BAD BREATH

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What's the difference between a nickel and a dime? Five cents.

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I used to be a schizophrenic but we're okay now

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What is red and doesnt exist? No-tomato.

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what's the difference between a chicken and a grape? They're both purple........ except for the chicken

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Your mother is so fat, she appeals to my secret fetish.

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Q: Why doesn't the young lady speak very much? A: Because she's a whore

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roses are red violets are blue my poems mite be ugly and so are u

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Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

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I went to Nebraska and saw a dead squirrel

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What did the one Lame say to the other Lame? I don't know, what did you say?

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a pub. They order drinks, then leave without speaking to each other. It was pure coincidence they walked into the bar at the same time. They had no connections to each other, them being from three different countries.

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A russian gives away vodka.

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How are you doing today? I'm fine...Except for the rape.

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Why did the plane crash and everybody die on board? The plane crashed because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Living in Africa.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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