Three head lice are drinking beer on a scalp, then they are killed by a high strength medical shampoo.

Who is a better president, Bush or Obama? Both have their Pros and Cons.

A black man is going to get a vasectomy. He shows up to the doctor's office wearing a suit. The doctor says "Why are you wearing a suit?" The black man says "I just got back from a funeral"

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A piolet you racist!

Two muffins were in the oven. One muffin goes "whoo! It's getting hot in here!" the other muffin goes "ahhh! A talking muffin!!!"

Is it true that curiousity killed the cat? No, I hit it multiple times with a baseball bat

Q: What is 2 + 2? A: Beastiality

How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen? Five.

How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her.

roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

Where do you find a dog with no legs ? Same place you left it ...

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme Others don't

What did one orphan say to the other? My parents are dead.

Your mom is so fat that when she steps on the scale, it displays a very large number.

What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies. One is used in the sport of bowling, and the other is just a tragic, very saddening sight to see.

Why was Rosa Parks forced to sit on the back of the bus? All the other seats were taken....

Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left the fence open, so it wandered around and happened to cross a road.

There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "It sure is hot in here". The other muffin says, "Yeah like 350, 375".

There was a goat and it was eating McDonalds, I just farted and my nuts are itchy.

Wanna hear a dirty joke? If so, you're probably a pervert.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was arrested by the ASPCA and PETA for letting the chicken run free near a horribly busy road

A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see.

Ching Chong Chinaman sitting on a wall. Along came the white man and greeted him hello.

roses are red violets are blue you should have been aborted

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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