Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

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Why didnt the black man run the marathon? He was in jail

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Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

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Why did Oliver fall? He shot himself.

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How do you get an alien baby to sleep? Well, first you need to get an alien baby.

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Friends are like snow; they disappear when you pee on them.

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Whats the most fun thing you can do with hangers and a vaccum cleaner? -abort babies

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What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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So a plane flies into a world trade centre... That's not funny

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... Your mom's a wh0re.

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Why was the asain studing? Because he had a 59 in math and needed a C to tay on the footbal team.

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If you don't see any banners here, it doesn't mean they aren't here.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. That's what she said

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derp

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Knock knock Who's there Banana Bananas can't talk. Crap he's on to me

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Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

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What is the best way to put out a fire? Stop, drop and have an orgy.

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Doctor: your mom has cancerous aids Me:*sob*

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Where did Susie go when her town was bombed? Everywhere.

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What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was shot in the head. Plus the fact that it was his first attempt on a bike made it highly unlikely to succeed anyway.

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What do you call a tree on fire? A burning tree.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I eat mop I eat mop who? That's strange, most American's don't eat poo I'm Asian

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops