Every zoo is a petting zoo if you're not a pussy

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jack and jill went up the hill to fetch some water , jill ended up bending over and jack ended up touching a blue waffle

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Why wasn't the black guy allowed into the bar? Because the bar was closed.

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Laugh

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What's the difference between a Satyr play and a Sedar meal? One is full of horned goat-men, the other is a feast that marks the beginning of Passover.

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what do you call it when justin beiber makes a sex tape with selina gomez? lesbian porn.

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Yidi Huang lives here.

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Q: What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferari? A: I don't have a ferari in my garage.

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Yo mamma is so old that she lives in a retirement home for the aged, and will most likely die there in several years.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Presents.

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What could be happier than a fat guy eating 20 pies? The guy he bought it from!

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Q: Why are the Black Eyed Peas named the Black Eyed Peas? A: I don't know ask them yourself.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Though if the ladder is rickety and she needs someone to steady it for her, two.

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Chuck Norris doesn't shave.

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knock knock. who's there myhairs myhairs who myhairs fallen out

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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Why did the black man rob a KFC? He was in a very difficult financial situation and was worried his kids would go homeless. After scouting various locations he found the security at a nearby KFC was non-existent.

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how do you break up with your girlfriend? talk about their race.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your face is so ugly it belongs in a zoo, but dont be sad, i forgot the rest, so you wont feel really bad. I need a rhyme, treasure chest.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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What do you get when you cross some eggs and some toast? Breakfast.

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How many turrets patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? Cocksucker!!

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what do you call an indian dating service? you dont call it anything there all arranged marriages.

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burn baby burn your nanas burning

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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