What color is the white cup? It's blue because it has two handles.

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Haikus are lovely But sometimes do not make sense Refrigerator

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the only way to get across

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Your Momma is so old, she started exercising more and eating healthier to increase the chance of her living long enough to enjoy your own children's lives.

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get i the car.

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Want to know a joke? There is no joke.

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Johnny got hit by a bomb. Where is he now? Everywhere. Knock knock. (Who's there?) Not Johnny

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The teacher asked: If you have two apples, and I give you two, how many do you have now? FOUR said the student.

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your momma so fat.... that as she walked by....... i missed 3 commercials

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B: Laro tayo . G: Anong laro ? B: Taguan . G: Bakit ngayon pa ? B: Because tonight will be the night that i will fall for you . G: Ulet ? B: Over again . G: Wag na ! B: Don't make me change my mind . G: Bukas na lang . B: I won't live to see another day . G: Weh ? Di nga ? B: I swear its true . G: Bakit kasi taguan pa ? B: Because a girl like you is impossible to find . G: Ano ? B: You're impossible to find . ? :)

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Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry he used lube.

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? It didn't, J-walking is against the law.

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What do I do with all the wheelchairs after I boil all the vegetables?

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why did the fish get flushed down the drain? because it was dead

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What did the 3 month old puppy get for Valentines day? Heart Worms. What'd he get for Christmas? Put down.

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How do u save someone from dieing of cancer? U shoot them in the head

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk, idiot.

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Why did the boy wipeout on his bike? An old man threw a snake in front of his tire

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What's orange and hurts when you get it in your eye? An orange knife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops