what do Jewish people and pizzas have in common? they enjoy parties

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What is both bold and brash? Fox

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Hey, you know what'd be funny? A guy having a seizure saying, "Help I'm having a seizure!"

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There are 100 men enjoying a cruise to celebrate an important contract going through at their place of employment. The boat then suffers a major malfunction and tragically sinks to the bottom of the ocean, miles from any land masses. Not a single man died, how is this possible? They all used the lifeboats supplied on the boat and followed the standard procedure to deal with such a crisis.

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Q: What's full of different butts and smells bad? A: An ashtray.

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A unicorn is walking down the street and a man asks him: "Why so horny" The unicorn then slap the man upside the head because that was none of his business.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is Patrick.

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How do you make a blond cry? Rape her and kill her family.

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why did bob hit Jim Because bob didn't like Jim

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So this guy and his monkey walk into a bar, I forget the rest of the joke but your mothers a whore.

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What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy this song doesn't rhyme penis

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I suck at online but have a high gamerscore

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What's good about freedom of speech? Only the idea. Try saying something about Muhammed or calling a cop a power-mad taxman.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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what did the therapist say to the other therapist? were both therapists.

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What happens when a chicken with a goat have sex? nothing.

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a mexecan guy walks in a bar he ask how much is a beer.its $400 and 55'.WHAT THATS SUCKSISH.no i just like to joke its 1 dollor.oh.....shut up go walk in a bra!!!!

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What do you call a creepy person trying to break into your house? A robber

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Why do girls like Justin beiber Because he can sing good

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide, and drives women crazy. A 6 inch long 2 inch diameter syringe filled with heroin being injected into a woman.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm What is worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding chuck norris Whats worse than finding your girlfriend has a bigger Slong than you? Getting raped with a cheese grater. Whats worse than all of these? Being black Sadly im black :( -Jordan M

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Q : What did the construction worker get for christmas? A: Nothing a building fell on him 3 days earlier

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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