What's worse than dropping you're ice cream? Getting your face mauled off by a German Shepard.

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There were 3 men on a rough each granted one wish to make. The first guy sees a bird and runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a bird and he flies away. The second guy sees a butterfly so he too runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a butterfly and flies away. The third guy telling himself those were all stupid wishes, makes up his mind what he is going to wish for so he runs to the ledge and just after he says "I wish to be" he trips on the ledge and says, "shit!" So his wish was granted and shit he became. The End.

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A captain crashes his boat into a rock. He has the option to save to save his wife or his best friend. He saves neither and drowns.

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What did the Homeless man get for Christmas? A dollar

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Poo LOL

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

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Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

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What time is it? 10:58

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Here comes the bride, all dressed in white. Here comes the groom, carrying a broom, because somebody spilled something on the floor.

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Why did the boy fail the math test? He has a learning disability.

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A clown walking down the steet, trips -Ryan Vallee

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What do an eagle and a off-white light bulb have in common? Nothing.

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why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What's long, hard, and in my pants? The SAT's... I lied about it being in my pants.

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What did the homosexual eat for breakfast? A light meal consisting of fruit and whole grains, so he could keep his weight down.

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How do you confuse a girl? Easily.

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Q: What do people usually find funny? A: A joke.

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Today i saw 2 midgets walking.........now there hanging together.....in a tree.....by there necks,,,,...............I f***n hate midgets

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why are their no mexicans in hell they all jumped the border

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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What do you get if you put 2 Korea, 2 Europeans and 2 North Americans together? TSM

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Why cant Jesus play rugby? Cause he's nailed to a cross

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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