Friends are like bananas. If you peel your skin and eat them, they die.

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Why did the man lose the a race? 'Cause he has no legs

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what do you call a dead man rolling down a hill on fire, being shot in the head, and strapped to a bomb Dead

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What's red and fun to drink through a bendy straw? Period blood

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How many chicken feathers are there in a 50 pound bag? 50 pounds worth Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a duck Why did the man cross the road? It was duck season A woman is dying but can't reach her husband. Why? A duck ate his cell-phone A pig walks into a bar but there is no bartender. Where is she? Dead A duck hunter is selling a duck to a man. The man only pays the duck hunter a quarter. Why? It was full of chicken feathers.

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When does the ice cream get thrown at the yellow horse on thursday evening? Purple Monkey Rainbow

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Why are there so many black basketball players? Because they aren't green.

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what did the blind santa say to the jewish child jewish people don't believe in santa...awkward.

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2 tomatoes walk across a road tomato 1 gets hit by a car tomato 2 gets confused, because tomatoes don't have legs and therefore cannot "walk across a road" And furthermore, a tomato does not have a brain, and thus cannot get confused.

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A blond and a brunette are on the moon. The brunette says to the blond "I'm glad that independent company's are taking the job of American space travel."

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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A man heard a thundering sound. It was thunder.

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Did you hear that Hellen Keller went driving? Now she's also paralyzed.

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A man walks into a shop and picks up some items for his party. He walks out of the shop without paying for the items. The police are promptly called and the man receives a 4 year sentence in prison for shoplifting.

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Why did video kill the radio star? He slept with videos wife.

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Tommy has no arms and legs. What did he get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why did the woman accuse a black man of stealing from a bank? Because she was eating a cornmuffin on the bench across the street when she saw a black man,stealing money from a bank

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Why should you be concerned if you see a black midget with no arms and no legs falling off a building? He might get hurt.

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What do you get when you cross Sir Elton John with a sabertooth tiger. I don't know but you better keep it away from your ass.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a nice man.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Bob

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How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

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how do you get a rat out the house you lift it up and put it outside

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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