What do you do when a burglar breaks into your house and tries to kill and rape you and you family? Nothing, he as an AK-47 and shoots you all dead and then has sex with your corpses.

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Knock Knock whose there your biological parents REALLY No

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Why do girls not have to have drivers license? Because they don't need a car to get from the bedroom to the kitchen ;) Don't mean to offend anybody! His joke is just funny

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A Chinese man, an American man, and a Mexican man are sitting in an airplane. When the flight attendant comes by with food, the Chinese and American both opt for pretzels, while the Mexican prefers crackers and makes his selection accordingly. The three sit back and enjoy their snacks separately.

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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What's worse than being shot? Being shot twice.

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I don't get it

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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Man goes into a bar and orders 7 shots, the bartender says "Long day, huh?", the Man says yeh then goes home and kills himself.

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An Irishman walked into a pub.... He never left.

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How do you kill a priest? Shoot him in the forehead.

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What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed because of the fact that he had lost World War II.

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What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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What do you call two black men kicking a ball? Soccer.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? We'll.. Pretty much everything I can think of.

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A girl and a boy where sitting on a couch together. The boy told the girl politly that she hass gained a significant amount of weight and should lose it. She then pulled out a candy bar in her back pocket and shoved it down his throat, to which he suffocated, because she was on her period when to comment was made.

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Why did 3 kids mom's die last year? Because they were depressed and committed suicide.

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PSP... Is a cat... you can throw against the wall.

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why'd the chicken cross the road It didn't, it was safely placed inside a chook house

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How do you win a war? Drop a fridge on your enemies.

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What has Whitney Houston got in common with a spider? They're both black and they can't get out of the bathtub

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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