A Terrorist walks into an airport. - He then blows himself up.

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what the hell happened to your face

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Why? Why Not?

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what is the best way to start a car? put in the key and turn it.

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What has two legs? Half a cat

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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There are 3 guys, a fat guy, a skinny guy, and sexy guy. They all work together and have lunch together. The fat guy opens his bag and eats a ham and turkey sandwich. The skinny guy opens his bag and eats a tuna sandwich. The sexy guy opens his bag and eats an egg sandwich. The fat guy finishes his meal. The skinny guy saves half for later. The sexy guy ate more than half of his food. A genie magically appears. The End

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Your mom is such a big whore that she sleeps with your dad.

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What's the most racist thing ever... Manhattan

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Why did the Kitty stop meowing? Because its dead.

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a boy walks over to the living room and shouts " happy birthday, daddy!!" the response is "i'm a cup, therefore i do not have a birthday because i am an inanimate object."

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What did the Asian say to the Mexican working at the friutstand? Hi, I'm Asian!

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What did the man say when he realized that he was late for work? "Shit, I'm late for work."

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What do you call a blonde in a library? Lost

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How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

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A man drinks a java while using Java His java was hot, making him spill on his laptop Blue screen of death

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What is worse than banging your knee on the coffee table? Tripping over one of the legs and smacking your head on the floor, causing a severe concussion.

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Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a bucket of chicken? A lot.

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What did the grandson inherit when his grandmother died? Nothing, they both were killed in a tragic car accident.

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Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin says, "Boy it's hot in here." The second says, "It sure is." Both muffins then faint from heat exhaustion and are eaten to death when taken out of the oven And thus tragically, the world would never know of the spectacular talking muffins.

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Going to bed? Mind if I Slytherin?

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what did Charlie Sheen say after he won a game of chess? I just won a game of chess!

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three men get stranded on a island and cannibals find them and they say go find 3 fruits and come back. first guy comes back with three apples and they say we will shuve them in your rectum and if you scream we will kill you he screams he dies. second guy comes back with grapes and he laughs before they can start. and in heaven the first guy says why did you laugh and he says there voices are funny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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