WHat is the one thing an alcoholic needs everyday? Rehab.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

Q: Why did the little boy have freckles? A: Heredity

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

how many jews can you fit in a buick? six if you squeeze 4 in the back

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -15

flink geit, nei ikkke kneck bena hans jeh er på "forgiftnings avdelingen" third flor deen ask arund I mena i am the ønly guy in the world named Angelo Nero, so ull find me, srsly, got some ritalin on u? Do not respond, u know am not into drugz, but i waanna stay awak, get the detailz, remembeeer if you kicke his nuts, you get paid, if not go back. God jobb gutta, seriøst, kaffipiller ritalin, stimulanter? Not opiats, come with my phon so i can fuuk this netwerk,.. Ps: Okay break his leg, but ust one, hurry up remembr, cut his tungue (it grows bak jes) then tell dem you save him, you can be heroews, goat, tell fingern that when im bak, we are takin a trip on da limo, galz included becuz Mr.Black is the gentz. NO MOR REPLYES whre u? I want my phone not answrs her. Nero is a fucking demoppsn

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Im black

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you're just a figment of my imagination.\

thumb_up thumb_down -31

what do you call a black man being hung from a tree? -prejudice

thumb_up thumb_down -45

What did Hitler say to Obama Nothing because Hitler is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What does the gay man do while he is taking a shower with many other men in a prison or a gym? Lathers soap all over his body to clean himself so he is not smelly.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the jew save his money? Because his wife has cancer and the radiation treatments are very expensive.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man walks into a bar. He has suffered from a concussion and is now in the emergency room.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I'm growing tired of all those ADD jokes. I have ADD, and I... ... what time is it?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a black man driving an airplane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

roses are red, violets are red, ive been shot in the eye with a pelet gun, please ,please help

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh yeah... You're mute.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A mans wife gets pregnant after he has a visectomy... She was artificially inseminated using sperm he froze before the operation

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did the guy laugh at everything he was high

thumb_up thumb_down -18

how do you kill a blonde? -a gun, knife or any other lethal object

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Knock knock *silence* Knock knock *silence* KNOCK KNOCK! Hey! Can't you read the sign?! It's says "Do Not Disturb!"

thumb_up thumb_down -47

You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What does a sock, pillow and a lamp have in common? -they all live underwater expect for the sock, pillow and lamp -Matt

thumb_up thumb_down

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops