What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless this event results in you being a vegetable.

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How do you stop a canadian from saying eh? Kill it...

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A blind man walks into a bar with a guide dog in one hand and his girlfriend in the other. The bartender says "Nice dog." The blind man says "Thanks."

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Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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Why did the boy miss a day off school? He was in a coma

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a fish.

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Men's rights.

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What did Stevie Wonders wife do when they got into fights? Re-Arrange the furniture

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What did the lawyer say to the lawyer We are both lawyers

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What's worse than finding half a sticker in your apple Half a worm

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How do you keep a black man out of your back yard? Tell him to go away.

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Q: Whats the first thing you see when you wake up? A: I don't know.

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There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

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Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

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Hey guya im a female stripper and if you want to have some fun call me 8633972535 thanks. -Tyler

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Q: When do u know when your sister is on her period? A: Your dads dick tastes funny.

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how many black guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? who cares even if they could screw it in it wouldnt work because there to poor to aford electricity

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Roses are red Violets are blue im a retard dictionary

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HEY WATCH OUT FOR THAT TRUCK! What truck? Weird I could have sworn I saw a truck...

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What do you do when you have a baby and your being shot by a terrorist. You use the baby as a shield.

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because it was holding hands with the monkey. Why were the monkey and the sloth holding hands? Because they were best friends.

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Your girlfriend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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