What did the newborn get on it's birthday? A life

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How dead people are in a graveyard? All of them

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im jacob, i have as much hair on my penis as mr macs head.....none.

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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What do you get when you cross a horse and a donkey? a mule

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What did the cannibal order at McDonalds? Big Mac, extra pickle, hold the mayo.

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What is it called when you kill a gay man? Homocide

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy?

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your mother is so lesbian

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how do you keep a black kid from jumping on the bed? pick up a parenting book ask him nicely try a time out not care because he's a kid and hes supposed to jump on beds?

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Why were Jews discriminated against for thousands of years? They weren't supposed to. Jews are people just like you and me. And for every ignorant person out there that hates Jews, you better watch your back because God is watching you.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because its a horse and cant speak or understand english and gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables and stools.

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Why did the autistic man cross the road? He was also depressed. It was a highway.

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why did chuck norris walk on water? because he's chuck norris

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Knock knock. Stop making puns at my door!

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Chuck Norris.

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around? A kitten in a blender

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What did the parrot say to the dumb man? Nothing

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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2 Penises

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Sidney was a man, but not just any man... He was a fishmonger.

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What's big and grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

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whats the best thing about life? whatever the best thing about life happens to be!

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Why did the man paint his dog blue? He has some strange mental condition and is incapable of controlling his own actions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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