Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? There was no cross walk.

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Q: How many Jews are there in Germany? A: None, they all died in the holocaust

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who is gay and sits next to me in my architecture class? James and austin!!!!

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what do you get when you throw a refrigerator at a boy on a bike? a severely injured boy, a lawsuit , a police record and a prison mate

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The dyslexic man called the black man a ginger.

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Why did the boy dress up as a zombie? Because it was Halloween.

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Okay, an ambulance is arriving for me (cops called it whatever I am fine) If you are still reading this then get the fuck out before I fire you no more messages.

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A white man walking dpwn the street finds a brief-case with a timer on it. A young muslim man says he dropped it. The white man then asked "What's the timer for"? The young man said, "Nothing really, just helps keep the time." They both went their separate ways.

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A blind man walks into a bar with a guide dog in one hand and his girlfriend in the other. The bartender says "Nice dog." The blind man says "Thanks."

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I wont say I got much money, but neither do I need it, just be honest to me, because if you lie, every advice I give you, could cost you or me everything, our lives, our families... Collateral damage is a term used very often and lightly ever since 9/11

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knock knock ? Who's there ? idunnop idunnop who ? Eww you've done a what?!

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I like doodle. XoXo Jamie

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Why did the car stop? The driver had a stroke

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How many seeds does a watermelon have? None. It is seedless.

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was a crybaby

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Where did John go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you, but the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl empty and so is your head.

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what is worse than finding a worm in your apple the earth exploding

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Q: If a midget walks by a woman stops and says "your hair smells nice today" is it sexual harassment? A: Yes, sexual harassment is a very serious subject and should not be allowed no matter your race, religion, or size.

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What did the man from Hiroshima see when he looked up at the sky on August 6th, 1945? Some birds.

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IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

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So a seal walks into a club..

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How did the dyslexic, purple horse commit suicide? It jumped off the Grand Canyon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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