a man and a woman are standing at a bar. they have a few drinks and then go home and die.

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Two farmers are sitting in a cold field. One asks, "Cold day, isn't it?" The other farmer doesn't respond as he has been frozen to death and because of his death, he is unable to respond.

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What is a black, yellow like liquid that contains carbon dioxide, usually kept in a can, and is not coke? Pepsi.

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Q: A blonde walks into a bar. What does she get? A: An icepack.

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What do you call a person trying to save his interprise from partaking in a financial collapse by binging on alcohal? An alcoholic.

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What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

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What is red and hangs around the back of a train? A miscarriage.

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Your Mom.

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Why did a lady get in a car crash? Because woman don't drive, they stay in the kitchen!

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fruit salad?

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot

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When life gives you lemons. Don't take things from strangers

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Q: Why happened to the dead whale? A: It was shot by Asian pochures.

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You know whats funny? A man cooking dinner.

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RACIST JOKE: how to start a footrace in ghana role a donut down a hill

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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How do you get five black men in a car? You offer them a good deal, then show them the car fax.

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How do you know when someone tells a bad joke? You don't find it humorous.

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Michael Jackson walks into a bar No he doesn't. He's dead.

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Roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and so are you, but the rose are wilted the violets are dead the sugar is lumpy and so is your head.

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A. Where was Sally during the boston marathon bombing? Q. Everywhere. www.facebook.com/wowedgy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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