Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a wild dog on the other side, so he crossed the road to avoid potential danger.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

knock knock whos there a duck a duck who QUACK!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is Earth made out of? Earth

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Come over here boy and have a cigar, you're gonna go far. Congratulations on being the first human cannonball, please use the cigar to light the fuse. Happy landings.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the best thing about having sex with twenty one year olds? The orgasm.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Three children are celebrating Christmas, Joey got a toy train, Janey got a barbie doll, Know what Jimmy got??? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why do white people wear black shirts? Why do black people wear white shirts?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why did the small child drop his icecream? he was hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Are you sure Jewsus was not a Jew?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a horse and a donkey mixed together? A mule.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how do you annoy people? make statuses from anti-joke.com

thumb_up thumb_down

Polly went out for a cigarette. Then she was raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

So one day a man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like to drink. He said he would like a glass of water. The bartender said "why come all the way to a bar just to get some water." The man responded "well its a longer walk to the coffee shop."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Ah dead on it was all Taggart!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

There is a knock on the door. Little Jimmy comes dowstairs opens the door and standing in the door way is the axe wielding manic fromTexas Chainsaw.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a man with no legs and arms hanging on your wall? Art

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I farted once. Haiti took the brunt of it.

thumb_up thumb_down

A: Knock knock knock B: "Who's there?" A: Knock knock knock B: "Who's there!?" A: Knock knock knock B: "God dammit who's there!?" A: "Penny?"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

John Hammond from 'Jurassic Park' looks like KFC's Colonel Sanders. Which is ironic, since chickens are descended from dinosaurs...

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the man do with his bread He ate it

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Your husband died.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Last night I saw an elephant in my pajamas. I don't know why I went to the zoo in my pajamas.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a man with a sack of money running from a bank? A rich man.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There once was a man from Bangkok, who hated limericks.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops