why did billy drop his ice cream? he got hit by a plane that a loaf of bread was driving

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

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dear GIRLS, roses are red violets are blue faces like yours belong in the zoo don't be mad i will be there too not in the cage but laughing at u .

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How do you confuse a blonde? Speak to her in a nonsensical language of gibberish you have devised without her being able to understand or translate.

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a black guy a chinese guy a jewish guy and a gay guy are standing on a ledge. they are all ready to jump off and commit suicide. suddenly a basketball falls from the sky. the black guy is like oh shit that my bball. he cant resist, he jumps off the ledge, grabs the ball, spins in mid air, and shoots it through the window that they came out of. then he falls to his death. the other three guys are questioning whether they wanna actually kill themselves when all of a sudden a jiggly dildo flies past. the gay guy sees it, and he needs it in his butthole. he jumps off, grabs the dildo, shoves it in his ass, and falls to his death. the chinese and the jew are the last alive. they decide that they dont want to die and they start crawling back towards the window. then out of nowhere, two quarters and a nickel shoot up from the ground, right in front of them. the jew needs them. he jumps off the ledge and pockets the change. then he falls to his death. the chinese guy is the last one alive. he jumps off and falls to his death.

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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Why'd the man go to jail? Because he had a piece of cheese.

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How do you stop birds from building nests in your grill? You turn the grill on

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What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

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Why did the kid throw a clock out the window? The kid was probably having a temper tantrum and it was an expression of frustration.

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What did the Mexican, the European, and the Canadian all have in common? They weren't used in this joke the last time someone posted it on anti-joke.com.

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Q: What did Bobby get for his first birthday ? A: Adoption papers

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why did the dog jump into the pool? because the cat was chasing him

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Why did my bed broke? Becaus i had sex with your mom!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because that's where the oncologist's office is.

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What happened to the boat that sank? Everyone on it died

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Why couldn't my grandpa use a cell phone? He didn't have hands.

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Knock Knock Who's there May I come in? May I come in who? . . .What's wrong with you can I come in or not?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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What do you call a blue chair A black person

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A:what happens when you throw a black guy down from a sky-scraper Q:he dies

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I Won a Math Debate................ say it fast unless your blind then dont say it wait you cant read it so uhhm Alaska

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A kid walks into a bar, everyone fled the bar because they were all afraid of goats

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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