A man jumps of the roof of his building. The superindentant now owns the building and the man who jumped off the building has 59 fractures. Oh and he died.

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Simba from the Lion King? One is a cartoon character from a beloved Disney classic and the other is the current President of the United States of America.

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Rose's are red, violets are red, trees are red, bushes are red, oh God the garden's on fire.

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What does 2 + 2 equal? 4

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Have you ever seen Ethiopian food? No, neither have Ethiopians.

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What was the little boy doing in the deep end of the swimming pool? Drowning.

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Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? Hello Prostitute.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

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What did one volcano say to the other? Nothing. Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

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Why did the Asian Kid pass his test? He studied hard.

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What do stuffed animals and living animals have in common? There both living except the stuffed animal.

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What's worse than eating brussel sprouts? Getting raped by a brussel sprout.

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So a white president,a mexican president, and a black president,are on a plane and its going down. The white president wishes he was a dove, and he flies away to safety. Then the mexican president wishes he was an eagle and he flies away to safety. Then the black president falls out the plane and says o s**t and turns into poop.

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What's sad about four black people in a Cadillac driving off a cliff? Jerome never wanted it to end like this. James, his best friend, was drunk... Again. That was just the way he was. He got wasted, did something stupid, apologized, and then did it again. But this time, there would be no next time. They were supposed to be going to their graduation party, but instead, James fell asleep at the wheel. The cliff was rapidly approaching, and the doors were locked. All Jerome could do now was pray. Also, the Cadillac costed a lot.

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mary had a little lamb its fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went this joke has no punchline

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y u no like me joke?

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Given the unlikely circumstance in which an elephant actually does sit on your fence, it is equally unlikely said elephant would be able to do so unseen by witnesses, of whom you may ask what time the event occurred. Assuming your witness thought to look at the time befor calling animal control.

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yo momma so ugly that yo your birth certifiicate is an apology from thew condem factory

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How do you keep your dog warm? Put antifreeze in its water dish.

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What looks like a lion, sounds like a lion, and feels like a lion? A lion Ba dum chh

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Your mother is so good in the kitchen that we all asked for a second helping.

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Greg told a joke. It wasnt funny...

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whats worse than having your sextape leaked to the media? not being a kardashian when it happens.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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