What did the man with sores on his tounge get for a birthday present? He recieved a very nice pair of trousers which he wore to work from time to time

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What's the only thing more horrible than trash can full of dead babies? A live one at the bottom. What's more horrible than that? He has to eat his way out. What's more horrible than that? He goes back for more. What's more horrible than that? This all took place in my garage while I was watching.

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How do you get a one-armed kid down from a tree? Wave.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Get in the van, or I'll kill you.

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We could have had it all Rolling in the deep You have my heart inside of your hand As you've just now inexplicably ripped it out of my ribcage.

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What did the janitor have for breakfast? Food

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Yo mama smells so bad that she has no friends and killed herself.

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What do you call a boy with no arm and no legs in a fire? Screwed.

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? She had an asthma attack.

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Why was the kid crying? Cause he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What did the pitcher say to the batter who hit the ball very far? Wow, you hit that ball very far.

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Why was Diana crying? Because she was penetrated.

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Doctor, people dont notice me anymore, doctor?... HEEEEEEEEEEEY!

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well it rained all night the day i left, the weather it was dry, i can't remember the words but susana don't you cry oh susana don't you cry for me for i come from alabama with a banjo on my knee oh

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A donkey walks into a supermarket and asks the cashier "Where are the potatoes?" The cashier replies "aisle 3" The donkey goes to aisle 3 And there are no potatoes

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Why didn't Johnny walk to school this week? He was dead.

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you are getting chased by a lion, a tiger, and a zebra. What do you do???? Get off the Merry-go-round.

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What green and has wheels? grass I lied about the wheels

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Why was the blonde sad? Her phone was broken due to an NNEMP.

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Why didn't the baby cry? It was stillborn.

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What is grosser than somebody eating their own booger? Someone else eating that persons booger

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What do you get when you cross drugs with a bathtub? Whitney Houston's worst nightmare

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What does 2 + 2 equal? 4

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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