A kangaroo walks into a bar, it is a fairly common occurrence in Australia and normal process is carried out of evacuating the premises and calling animal control to deal with the situation.

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What animal wouldn't you want to play games with? Probably none of them. They are animals and incapable of playing board games.

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Why isn't eating an Olympic sport? Because that wouldn't make any sense.

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Why are Asians bad drivers? There Not. Have you ever seen Tokyo Drift?

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What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red paint is spilled on it.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

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Why was Little Billy sad? Because he got shot.

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How do you get a tissue to dance. You don't.

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Of course, the capacity to create a better society, is well within the natural limits of humankind, we do not need Gods in order to be strong, honorable kind, respectful, and so on, we do not need empty promises. We only need, to use our potential as humans, believe in it, and do our best only, if we desire the best results, take care of those that suffer, and believe that they will be there for us when we need them. We can all do it, humanity, yet choosing a lifestyle where we become peasants or soldiers, all promised happiness AFTER we have lived our lives, is what the people have decided. This is the extent of the average man and woman, even if it is far beyond the power of humanity.

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Rose: Mom, why was I named Rose? Mom: Because when you were born a rose petal landed on your head. Rose: Than why is my brother named Brick? Mom: I liked the name.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Little girl and a pedofile walk into the woods at night. Little girl says, "mr pedofile im scared" pedofile responds " you think your scared? i have to walk out of here alone."

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A businessman notices an attractive woman sitting at the end of the bar so he buys her a drink. She kindly accepts and spends a few minutes making pleasant conversation with him. When she's finished with her drink, she promptly begins to flirt with another man at the bar who's not twenty years older than her and horribly out of shape. The middle-aged businessman, realizing his own mortality, proceeds to spend the rest of the evening drinking himself into vortex of loneliness.

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Mom: Are you going to jump of a cliff just cause your friends are? Kid: You got married to dad cause you were the last lonely whore left of all your friends. And you wanna talk to me about peer pressure. Mom: Go jump.

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

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stephen hawking walks into a bar...

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Q: What's pink and fuzzy? A: Pink Fuzz...

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I like my coffee how I like my women Without a penis

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the results of his AIDS test

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your moms face is turning purple. I'm coming for you.

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if life gives you lemons you probably have problems

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What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

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What comes after 69? 70

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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