Rarity: "So, what is that splendid frock of yours saying?" Maud Pie: "It doesn't talk. It's a dress."

What's big, grey and can't climb trees? A carpark.

Q:How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? A:Depends on the volume of said tub.

JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN WHAT'S THE ANSWER?! WHAT DO YAH MEAN YA DUNNO?!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to, like any other chicken

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gun store to buy a gun. After years of abuse and mockery, he was tired of being called "chicken", and was going to shoot up the entire school

Q: what did a kid in harlem get for christmas? A: nothing he got shot

Why did Ben Franklin Invent Bifocals? He's a jive turkey.

What does a Jewish Santa Clause say? This scenario is highly improbable as Jews celebrate Hanukkah and not Christmas.

Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John Smith.

You want to hear a joke? Democract

what does gum eat ? gum you idiot!

How do you get a Jewish man out of a pool? Ask him politely, for I'm sure he's a pleasant and reasonable fellow.

Why was the clown in red shoes wearing skis? Because he likes to ski in red shoes, and he's a clown

Have you ever just woken up one day and thought, "I don't wanna wear pants today."

I don't think Holocaust jokes are funny, Anne Frankly I find them offensive.

Q: What did the blind deaf orphan get for Christmas? A: Cancer

Why do fishermen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

Why should you paint a canoe black? Being the darkest color, it will hide dirt, scratches, and normal wear and tear on your canoe better than lighter colors.

4 gay guys walk into a bar but there is only one bar stool, where do they sit? They go to a different bar

How do you get dislikes on anti-joke.com? You can dislike your own post from several different IP addresses.

what did the Spanish priest say to the Ukranian gynocologist? *fart*

How do you make a blonde scream? Set her on fire.

What's brown and sticky? Vomit.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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