What did the Asian say after he had a nightmare? Nothing his nightmare was actually reality and a dishwasher fell on him and killed him.

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What did the Coke can say to the Pepsi can? Nothing it is a inanimate object and cannot speak.

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Chuck Norris is dead......

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

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Whats black, white, and read all over? Micheal Jackson reading a book while painting himself red.

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When life gives you lemons, you realise that life isn't a physical object and therefore you have problems. Have a nice day.

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Question: why did the pilot crash the plane? Answer: because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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A priest, a monk, and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order drinks and keep the conversation to non-controversial topics.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting ran over by a truck.

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What's ugly and has shit smeared over its teeth? Smelly McD (He also wears bin bag clothes)

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k

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I'm so hungry I could eat food

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A man walks into a pole and says "I know, this pun is lame"

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You want to hear a joke? Republican

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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Why was the door opened? Because I opened it

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Q. Dr.evil? JHHHHHHHHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN

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Why does Michael J. Fox have a good handshake? He has a firm grip

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Q.What is black and white and red (read) all over? A. A penguin in a blender.

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roses are red violets are blue i have shit in my mouth so screw you

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How does one peel a potato? First I would suggest going to your local grocery store, and purchasing a vegetable peeler (although, in fact, the potato is not considered a vegetable). Once at home, I recommend disinfecting it of germs. Unless you already own a vegetable peeler, in which case I would simply peel the potato as every normal human would.

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what did you call a downer in the medieval times? spazalot

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what did one waiter say to the other? were waiters.

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Knock knock Who is there? Your mom Your mom who? STOP WITH THIS GAME AND JUST OPEN THE DOOR!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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