How do you make a dog hate you for the rest of its life? Steal its bone and beheaded it.

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Justin Bieber

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Joey and Jack walked into a bar, and proceeded to have gay sex on the floor.

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For anti-joke.com, there should be a section called "Hot" that shows new jokes which are given 5 thumbs up or up. This way we would get new jokes on the popular section instead of having the same ones for a very long time. I know this isn't a joke, but thumbs up if you agree.

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cot!

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kids make accidents in the backseat of your car but u and your wife made an accident in the backseat and thats how you got that rottten troll that makes accidents in the car!!

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What's the difference between a chicken and a bartender? A chicken is a domesticated fowl, a subspecies of the red junglefowl. As one of the most common and widespread domestic animals, with a population of more than 24 billion in 2003, there are more chickens in the world than any other species of bird. Humans keep chickens primarily as a source of food, consuming both their meat and their eggs. A bartender is a person who mixes and serves alcoholic drinks at a bar. also bar-tender ; 1836, American English,

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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What do you call a black person who can't see? Blind

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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How do you confuse a blonde? Beat her with a spatula while in a mankini with a dildo up your ass!

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A: What are the nine most terrifying words in the English dictionary? B: What are they? A: I'm from the government and i'm here to help

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Why do vampires suck blood? Because they re crazy.

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What do you say to a homeless man sat in a train station? That there is a homeless shelter around the corner.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to the gay guys house. Knock Knock! Who's there? The chicken.

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Why don't men want to marry virgins? They are wary of women who are inexperienced and who they may be sexually incompatible with.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

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Q: What do sleeping pills and coffee have in common? A: Absolutely nothing

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Some woman's like "Make me a sandwich!" Some guy's like "No way!" The woman says "Or I'll rape you!" "Allright. Fine with m... Wait... I thought women didn... I mean couldn.. you know.." "Rape?" "No, eat sandwiches!"

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What is worst than a1000 baby's stapled to a tree? 1 baby stapled to 1000 trees.

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Again, what is it called when you are safely inside at winter your power is out, but the streets are full of people as the weather gets really bad and people start bouncing around? Blizzard Entertainment. What is it called when a robot lets out gas? Electronic fArts.

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What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus? A godless abomination that violates every ethical standard known to man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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