What did muscleman say to his dad? You know who else is my dad? MY MOM!

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Your Mamma is so poor that she begs for money.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

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What's long, hard, and full of semen? a penis.

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What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your doorbell is broken.

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How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic men? 25

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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Your momma is so fat that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook her breasts for clocks

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How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

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With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

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Two men are sitting in a bar. They finish their drinks and pay the bill before leaving.

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What do you call a sausage with no sauce? A giraffe.

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Banana Hamock.

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Why did hitler need glasses? Because he could Nazi.

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Son: "Mommy That Boy Over There Beat Me Up" Mom: Good I Like When You Suffer

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Knock knock Who's there? Dishes Dishes who? Dishes a bad joke

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life is like a box of chocolates... it doesnt last long for fat peopl

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A Man walks into a car dealership and asks the salesman "How many of these Blue ones do you have in stock" ? The salesman looks at the Man and begins to cry. "Why are you crying" asks the Man "I had a dog named Blue once" replied the salesman. And then he ate a taco in front of the Man,wiped his hands on his slacks and slowly backed away from him. The Man thought to himself..."Gee I'm hungry" and left the car dealership to go buy a taco instead.

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off and his body was never recovered. Repeat then handled the funeral planning.

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Why was the boy in hospital? He fell off the bus and was run over by many cars.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did god make asians? I dont know. Yah, me niether

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What did the chicken say to the butcher? Moo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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