A guy walks into a bar Many people gather around him to see if he is alright and to tell him he needs to watch where he is going.

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when your cable is on the fritz, you play video games instead. when you play video games, you get good. when you get good, you go to COD XP. when you go to COD XP, you lose to whiteboy 7th st. when you lose to whiteboy 7th st., you get into Skyrim. when you get into skyrim, you reenact cut scenes from skyrim. and when you reenact cut scenes from skyrim... ...you take an arrow to the knee... ...don't take an arrow to the knee. Get rid of cable.

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What would a prostitute do if she was given a million dollars? She would probably diversify her portfolio. First, she would pay her rent. She would buy some groceries and a present for her mother. She would then invest it in stocks and low-yield bonds. She would they buy a vehicle. This win might not affect her continuance in her job.

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I had a friend named Joshua, he died of AIDs, cancer, and several other diseases.

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2 nuns were in a bathtub. One says to the other "Could you pass me the soap please?" The other replies, "What do you think I am, a radio?"

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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ask me if im a tree are you a tree? yes.

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar and ask the bartender for a drink, but in response the bartender politely points out that there are probably people in need of their assistance at their respective place of warship.

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Girl : What's a anti joke ? Boy : it's you .

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How can you upset Helen Keller? In Braille spell out that she can't see or hear the hunger games

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A watermelon doesn't scream when you cut it open.

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Which does does the Mississippi River flow in? Liquid.

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Charlie Sheen is winning

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three men walked into a bar, two walked out... One walked into a metal pole and died

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken so it will wonder when not properly fenced in

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My girlfriend dumped me because I'm patronizing. That means I treat people like they're stupid.

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a man walks into a bar, and says "can i get a beer please?" the bartender hands him his beer, and as soon as the man starts to take a drink, the man dies of a massive heart attack because of his unhealthy lifestyle

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Miscarriages.

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Why was the little girl sad? Because she was brutally raped up the ass

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How did the chicken get to the other side? He didnt, he got ran over.

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"Knock, Knock" "who's there" "John doe" "John doe who" "I told you my my name was john doe"

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There was a curtain who sneezed and then asked you for a tissue. He was in a room with two chairs a coffee table and a 37 year old bookcase, why did he sneeze???? Because he had a cold!!????

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why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

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What do you call a black man inside a house that is on fire? A fire fighter as well as a hero since he was probably inside the house searching for anyone who was trapped inside

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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