Lisa’ house needed to be painted and her brother offered to do it for her. Lisa thought it was a nice gesture and told him that she wanted the house in antique white. However; after painting the house, Lisa noticed that her brother had used a color with a dark yellow tone. ”Are you sure this is Antique white?” she asked him. ”Offcourse!” he said. Afraid of hurting his feelings, Lisa didn’t dare to say anything. Ten years later, the house needed to be painted again. This time Lisa wanted to hire a professional painter, but her brother insisted on doing for her. He brought the paint, which Lisa recognized as the same yellow paint, with a color that Lisa had really begun to hate. ”Brother, are you sure this is antique white?” she asked, forcing a seriousness in her voice. ”Offcourse!” he answered, and Lisa was still too embarressed to object. Her brother didn’t have an easy life and she didn’t want to break his confidence. So the house was painted, same as before. Lisa did however notice a strange light in her brothers eyes. Another ten years passed, and the house needed to be painted a third time. This time however Lisa had had enough. Though it was her brother, she had become increasingly ashamed of her house had even stopped having guests over. With a deep breath she picked up the phone and called up her brother, ready to confront him. A woman answered; it was his wife. She could hardly speak because of her sobbing. Unfortunately Lisa’s brother had been killed in a car accident earlier that day.

"Have you ever seen a blacksmith?" "No." "Me neither."

What's worse than getting a apple and finding a worm in it. Getting hit in the face with a meteorite.

What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my basement.

EVERYBODY has a penis!!! Everybody!!!!

Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Ah, come in!

Why didn't the blonde go to the party? Her depression finally got the best of her and she shot herself

You have never had sex because.... Well, look in the mirror and you'll see for yourself -Matt

what is the name of the book that helen keller wrote LADIUFgSLDGFhalkjgfvcgh

All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple ? The Holacoast

what do get when you blend zebra, a cow and a walrus? A not very good smoothie

What's worse than eating a baby? Eating two babies filled with maggots.

who eats pencils asians

what do Jewish people and pizzas have in common? they enjoy parties

Why did the pedophile skip breakfast? He said that he would grab a little something on the way to work...

If you were a Transformer, you would be Optimus Fine.

What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the world series? No Cubs!

There was a big guy he was called Mac. So Mc Donalds turned him into a burger

What is the difference between a pizza and the Jews? The pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm a dog.

What do a bench and a mexican have in common? (don't worry it's not racist) You'll find both in a park. (I lied)

Things that have changed since I was a kid. Turtles: My time, awesome. Today: Shredder is a human which is not a human but actually a Krang, but his daughter which is not his daughter because he is a freaking krang, has a sex thing for Leonardo which is a turtle (the blue one, whatever his name is). Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: My time? Well it was awesome back then, fine I admit it, I might have been a bit biased but still, I enjoyed the hell out of it, there where five rangers and yeah that Asian bitch that gave me a boner as a kid made a green one which she giftwrapped to the rest of the team, then some white ranger showed up... But I never watched anything with the white guy, I had lots interest years ago by then (Still play that fighting game for the Snes and thats why I know there is a fucking white ranger... And deathbattle okay) Today: Power Rangers Neon, Power Rangers Tetris, Power Rangers Ultra Power, Power Rangers Sexfighters, Power Rangers Nazi, Power Rangers Texas Rangers, Power Rangers Color, Power Rangers Multiforce Orbital Neo Neon.... And thats just like 03 percent of the variants right? Moral: As a kid we always had a lol when the Asian chick turned into Yellow ranger and did a split kick, which kinda revealed she had a massive dick between her legs... Later we understood that she was a he and that the Ranger Segments are recorded in Japan... Probably by a Hermafrodite... Nah, a guy fine. Oh, and we always lolled at how "gay" the original blue ranger acted he was supposed to be Nerd but I was like eight and was like "lol he just seems gay"... Just for it to turn out that he quit the series because supposedly the rest of the actors mocked him for being gay, Wow thats... Weird.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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