What's black and white and red all over? A chess board; I lied about the "red all over" part.

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Why couldn't Maria play Softball? She was born without legs.

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Come in! Come in who? I'm just com in' inside.

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How do you make a little girl laugh. You tell her something funny.

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A bear comes across some people on a camping trip. But he then promptly leaves, because bears aren't inherently aggressive unless caring for their young or if they are provoked.

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What does a tree do all day? Boredom

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Why did the woman cross the road? To welcome the new neighbors.

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what do you call a black man driving a police car? a cop

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A Chinese man... pulling another Chinese man in one of those carts behind him.

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What happens if you throw a red ruby into the black sea? It gets wet.

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Roses are red, and blood is too. But violets are purple. NOT FUCKING BLUE.

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Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

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What happened when the dinosaur walked out into the rain? He got wet.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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why are black people scared of chain saws? because it goes runnigganigganiggarunnigganigganigga

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Q. What do you call a person with no arms, legs, torso, or head? A. A mutilated corpse.

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why couldnt justin beiber get into the club? because hes not legal

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Knock knock. Who's there? Hi. Hi Who? Hi who?! Hi Ho Hi HO. Its off to work we go!! umm.

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Roses are red Violets are red I have Ebola

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Chuck Noris

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? It is highly unlikely one would have a supply of dead babies large enough to answer this question.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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a blond a her blond boyfriend were walking acrossed a river. she gose over the river but the ramp brecks when she's past. her boyfriend says wait until night and I'll get a flashlight and shine it acrossed get on the light beem and walk acrossed.she says no when I'm haf way acrossed you will turn the light off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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