A thief stole a calendar. Later, feeling guilty, he returned it to its owner, admitted his misconduct, and went to a local minimart to purchase his own.

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What's sad about 4 people in a Lamborgini going over a cliff? It was my car.

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What is black blue and screaming? Your daughter when i kicked the shit out of her

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whats red, sits in a corner and is slowly getting smaller and smaller baby with a cheese grater whats green and sits motionless in the corner same baby 2 weeks later

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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What did Siri say to Cortana? Nothing. Someone has to say something in order to activate either one of the voice recognition devices.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken crossed the road accidentaly as chickens are absent minded.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies in a dumpster? One dead baby in 10 dumpsters.

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This is a swimmer Joke. Chuck Norris once lapped a kid in the 50 free... LONG COURSE.

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Q: Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A: It died. Q: Why did the snake fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the bird. Q:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Peer pressure.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord? My ass.

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Man is even more eager to copulate than a donkey – his purse is what restrains him

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Why was the man reading various news articles on the Internet at 2:21 in the morning? Because at that time he could not sleep. Which meant he tried to find something else to fill his time up with.

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What's big, grey and can't climb a tree? A parking lot

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Haiku's aren't real poems. No body understands them. My soul is burned toast.

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What did batman say to the Joker? I'm Batman

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

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How does a cow does a cow do an evil laugh? Mooooooohahahahaha

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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Two strippers are out of work. So they turn to prostitution.

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*insert corny "a man walks into a bar" joke here*

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Uhh, yeah, some of it, I mean people never looked me in the eyes on the buss really, I dunno,if you think I am pretty maybe it is just your opinion or something, but thanks, you are hones and its nice. Never been out drinking, I am you know, kinda nerdy, I just prefer hanging out with friends at home.

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why did the chicken cross the road who's there and the man died of cancer congradulations! your preganant

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Why was billy bad at telling jokes? Billy was sexually abused as a child and humour was never really part of his life

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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