If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5, you both have the same amount of money

thumb_up thumb_down +2,124

What's the difference between a teacher and a train?!? The teacher is a highly-intelligent organism and the train is a large vehicle used in transporting goods over long distances on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

tim tebow is a grat quarterback

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the dish run away from the spoon? None of them ran neither one has legs

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the duck walk on the moon? Because it was his lifelong goal

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what did rebecca say to sabrina ? CALL wass !!

thumb_up thumb_down +44

yomamas so fat it made Ben kanobi say thats no moon thats yo mama!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man walks inti a bar and asks for a drink, he shows the bartender his ID and is kicked out because the man is underaged.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

DINOSAUR Street Fighter 4: Masterchief edition LOUND ONE! BAKE! And the final results: Sagat: Heh, you want some... cornflakes? *BOOO! YOU THUG!" Ryu: WHOWANTSSOMEPOUNDCAKE! *Delicious poundcake omg" "Well, at least better than serving a fucking bowl of foocking cornflakes with milk in four goddamn hours!" YOU LOSE! "You must defeat my Poundcake to stand a chance, I am the worlds greatest pillow fighter!" GAME OVER

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Not much of an anti joke but here we go... - What do you get when you cross a jew and a potato? - A Baked potato!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +136

the police there was several calls from people in the sarounding area who heard screaming from ur basement

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q:How many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A:Just Juan.

thumb_up thumb_down +110

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why does the gaming console Wii suck? ????????????????I like ice cream????????????????

thumb_up thumb_down +4

There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walks into a bar. He is promptly taken to the hospital where he finds out that he may have a concussion.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There are four black people near each other ? KITKAT !!! :D

thumb_up thumb_down

"Hey ask me if i'm fat" "Are you fat" "Leave me alone"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? ...You mean, you don't know?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what goes in hard and comes out soft? bubblegum, what were you thinking?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops