a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse replies "my wife died yesterday." the next day the bartender wakes up and realises that it didn't happen and that he is a drunk asshole with no life.

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Roses are red And heres something new Violets are violet They're not friggin blue

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what is the biggest lie I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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Why didn't the pregnant, pro-choice woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

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Why are women such horrible drivers? Their hair gets in the way.

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How do u get an A in algebra? Train a possum.

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What do Asians eat for dinner? Home cooked meals

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Whats worse than getting raped by jack the ripper? Getting fingered by captain hook.

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What do you call white people on a bench? NBA What do you call black people on a bench? RTA

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Am I the boss.No I was just offered the job

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* How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man? * He just need to go to the Register Office and change his name to "a man"

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What's worse then three frogs playing leap frog? Nothing that would be awesome

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sean punches bryce in the face, sean then says ow you just punched me in the face. that hurt

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Women are like puzzles. Because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don't

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What's black and blue and red all over? The dead woman in the dumpster.

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Yo Momma's sooo fat that the speed of light at her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s.

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how many dicks can you fit into mia khalifa's ass

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Why can't helen keller drive a car? Because she is a woman

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Just kidding. He's paralyzed

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When there's something weird in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police.

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Justin Bieber is so gay he dates girls

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What is underneath Chuck Norris' Beard? His Chin

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your mom is like a lowling ball, she likes to be fingered then thrown back into the gutter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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