Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

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I need somebody to lean on... ...Because one of my legs was amputated after I was blown up on a mine field in afganistan.

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What do you call a blonde with great maths skills? A smart person with blonde hair.

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What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? Nigger

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing...he found it.

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What is the best type of pepper? Well, some people say that the yellow pepper is the sweetest and most delicious, although others prefer red, green or orange peppers.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and trampoline? Well, children jump on one to obtain enjoyment, while a pile of dead babies is a sick tragedy.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy Get in the van

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Like this joke, bitch.

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Why did the fireman wear suspenders? To keep his pants up.

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Why did alfred crap his pants? because he had downs

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What did the chicken say to the butcher? Moo.

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What is laying in the corner of the living room of an abandoned house and keeps getting smaller over the years? A decaying baby left there by a crack-head.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones because I have osteoporosis

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Fire is red Water is blue Earth is brown Air is transparent

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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What did the homeless guy get for Christmas ? Frostbite

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Hickory Dickory Dock, your mother is a whore

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Quizno's footlongs are four dollars...

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Roses are red Violets are red Bushes are red Why's my garden on fire?

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Q:: when artificial intelligence takes over the planet, what will become of anti-joke.com? A:: idk, but my cousin's girlfriend and I will get naked together and she will get on top of me and tell me I'm awesome and that my d*ck feels really good inside her. you see by the time AI takes over, the means to create virtual reality experiences will be greatly enhanced.

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Why were black people mad about slavery? Because they didn't get paid in gum! Holt9 ;P

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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