How do you stop a bus? Press the brakes

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You're so gay that you lost your virginity to someone of the same gender.

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what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Accept for cancer.

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Hey, do you want to play the r.a.p.e game ? NO! That's the spirit

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68

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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why doesnt cornelia say anything? she didnt answer

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Q:what has 6 legs and rides a unicycle! A: nothing!!! Duh!

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where is madeline macam? hiding is mjs cubord

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What do you call a group of angry unemployed black guys? The NBA

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What's got 2 thumbs and a massive penis? A body parts collector I know called Harold Fortescue

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"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

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If you posten bout Kony I feel bad for you son. Cause ive snached 99 children and you pst saved none jesse

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Spoiling your fun. Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the fuck are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming?

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why did the black boy fall? he had terminal cancer and couldnt stand the pain anymore he died

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Whats the difference between the black man and the white man? The black man was born with more melanin the pigment in there skin, which would concur the black man did have darker skin. Also, the white man had cancer.

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The Awkward moment when the world doesn't end

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If life gives you lemons, steal the declaration of independance and use the lemons and a hair dryer to reveal the numbers on the back. Then enbark on an epic journey that ends with the discovery of the templars treasure. Lastly, use the money you earned to buy some lemons and make some lemonade.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Bushes are Red, Trees are Red... my garden is on fire...

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A jew, an Arab, and A Scientist walk into a bar. The arab self explodes and kills them all

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whats small and blue? a suffocated baby

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Roses Are Red Violits Are Blue Screw it RUN!!

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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