Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and they stink.

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What is the difference between green and desert sage? About 20 bucks a gallon.

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How do you drop a raw egg on to the floor without cracking it? Any way you want, it is very hard to crack concrete.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, seeing as the slaughterhouse was directly across the road from the farm where the chicken lived, the man who owned the farm led his flock of chickens across the street when they were of age and fattened up so that they could be inhumanly massacred in order to process an order of chicken nuggets.

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WHO WANTS SOW????

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Knock Knock Who's there (five gunshots)

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What stars with C, is hairy on the outside, moist on the inside and ends with T and has UN in the middle? Coconut

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Think of a number 1-10 Now add 39 Divide that by 20 Subtract two Now close your eyes.. Dark isn't it?

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How do you confuse Helen Keller? You don't. She's dead.

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What is your name, sir? My name is not Sir, my name is Jeff.

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Wat do you do when you see aomeone bleeding on the ground? Walk away and act like nothing happened

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What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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Tall asians

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What do you say to the child with bruises on his arms? Stop hitting yourself.

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what is the difference between a black person and a white person there skin

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Why does Charlie Sheen do cocaine? Because his father was a poor role model and he's an unstable celebrity.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You poke-her-face

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Two pretzels were walking down the street. One was assaulted. The other, witnessing what he'd seen, developed a harsh stereotype.

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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A man fell off a cliff... He died a vicious death.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven." The man nods nervously. St. Peter asks, "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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A Mime travels to Africa for a vacation. He meets a Zebra in his travels and the Zebra says "Hey we both are wearing black and white stripes!" The Mime did not understand the Zebra because he cannot talk his language so he continues on with his vacation.

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What's one thing that bothers EVERYONE? Mother Theresa

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what did Stephen Hawking say to the prostitute? My illness prevents me from achieving erection.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops