What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Nothing, he was in tremendous pain.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Q:Why did sarah fall off the swing? A:She had no arms. 1:Knock knock 2:who's there? 1:not sarah

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What do you tell a woman who claims that she is going to yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater? That doing so could result in serious injuries or even death, and that she would be wise to reconsider her future options, as she could be held responsible for any and all problems that arise.

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What do you call a horse with wings and a horn on his head? Drunk

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How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

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*Dubstep* CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW BWAB BWAB

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm colorblind.

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what do you call a black priest? holy shit!

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A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

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What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

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There's a god, just kidding.

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How many one does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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A duck walks by to a lemonade stand. He says to the man running the stand, "Quack."

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What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

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How many Legos can you stick up your nose? I'm sure its very painful and considered stupid so don't try it.

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Why did the fridge break? Because someone threw a fridge at it.

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Have you ever seen the inside of Stevie Wonder's house? Neither has he.

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What's black, white, and red all over? The flag of the Arapaho Nation.

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Feet

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Q: Why was the little girl not allowed to watch the pirate film? A: Due to the violent scenes and coarse language, her parents decided it was inappropriate.

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What did the boy say to the ghost wearing a banana outfit? Holy crap! A ghost!

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A man named Cecil walks into a bar. He then orders a drink.

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anne hatthaway

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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