Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

What do you call a person at your door? Whatever his name happens to be.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a wolf that eventually killed and ate it.

What do tigers dream of when they take a tiger snooze? Mike Tyson

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Actually a lot because a pizza is a pizza andna Jew is a human.

You're mother is so fat the doctors say she has a serious obesity problem and will most likely have to go on cholesterol pills and begin regulating her diet properly.

What do you call a gay black man? Whatever his name happens to be

What's dry and unpleasant to eat? Sand.

Why do Mexican's wear pointy shoes? Because its part of their culture and is used as a sign of dignity when dancing to tribal music

What do you get when you cross an own and a bungee cord? My ass

The man that loved birds so much that he played golf just to get a birdie.

Hi

i am an inbred jew who likes penis up my bum ~Nathan Barras

Roses are black Violets are black Im Helen Keller WWWHHAATTTTT!?!?

A man came home from work and said to his wife im going to kill u

why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

What did the blind guy say when he walked past a fish store? Something smells fishy

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

BTMG JOAN!"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOP OF THE MORNING FREE MEAT NO SANTA THIS YEAR BONE FOUNDATIONS MOUNTNORRIS WHY IS THAT BAG MOVING?????????? MR MO MOLESTOR SHIT STAINS VEGETABLE GUN OPERATION SBB OPERATION SBB (THE AFTERMATH) #SL #NSL TIN SCHACK SKI LIFT MILK STAINS NATHAN: 5 - SEATS: 0 GREEK LETTER STU THE SO

What did the Mexican guy get for christmas? Deported

A man is walking in the desert, alone and lost, when suddenly he finds a lamp. The man picks up the lamp and to his surprise, a genie bursts out of the lamp ! The genie says to the man: "Thank you, kind man! You have freed me from this prison I have been in for a million years. I am in your dept and will grant you three wishes." The man replies: "Wow, you've been in there for a million years and all you have to give me are three wishes?" The genie was really sad to hear of the man's lack of appreciation and flew away, leaving the man. The man eventually died of starvation and dehydration.

why did the clown fall off the swing because he got shot in the face

What did the Banana say to the human. Nothing, because bananas are not capable of talking

Why didn't Sally eat the meatballs The meatballs ate her

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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