Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had died.

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Oh, I must be hearing things.

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-What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Knock Knock Who's there? me oh

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It was being poached

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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Your so stupid, that your stupid.

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Whats the differance between a blond and a rock? I don't know. I can't think of any.

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Tilt your screen back

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Stop procrastinating.

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Yo momma so fat, she can't preform physical exercises with proper form.

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you know whats worse than cantaloupe? no cantaloupe

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Person 1:Did you hear the joke about the cat, the camera, and the pancakes? Person 2: No, I haven't. Person 1: Oh, that's too bad. Person 1 then gets up and walks into a refrigerator.

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A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says that there are no dogs allowed, but the man says that he is blind. So the man sits down with his dog and asks for a drink. The bartender decided to check to see if he was really blind, so he says, " Hey, do you know what time it is?" The blind man replies, "7 o'clock," The bartender says, "Ha! You said you were blind! Get out of..." but was interrupted by the man, who promptly said, "No, I'm deaf," and left.

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What's stupid and a waste of time? Anti joke .com because people on here are too ignorant and serious cuz it's not funny. It's anti joke G-Dang it. Come on seriously

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Why did the boy jump off the building? To get to the bottom.

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What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

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Why did the man die? He had a terrible form of flesh-eating bacteria and he suffered a lot of pain.

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whats worse then a paper cut, the holocaust, whats worse then the holocaust, two paper cuts

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What do you call a blond british girl a blond britishngirl

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What did the doctor say to the camel with no hump? You're a horse.

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whats the same about a turtle and another turtle? they both seem to like lettuce

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bill: HEY! your moma so fat bob:so i dont care shes gonna die soon anyway

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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