Q. What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline? A. I don't were cleats when I jump on my trampoline.

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What did the genie say to the frog? Go home.

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Knock knock! "It's unlocked"

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Where did Suzie go during the bombing? Everywhere. -Tag

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Yo mama so stupid She took in part of an experiment and was indeed proclaimed stupid.

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a preist sees a rabbi on the street while taking a walk. he says hi and proceeds to have a nice conversation as they are good friends despite their religous differences

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why did Mary fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock, Whos there, Not Mary

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what did batman say to robin before they got into the batmibile "get in the batmoblie"

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Why did the Muslim cross the road? He was on fire and he needed to get to the lake on the other side of the street to put himself out.

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Who moved faster? The snail or the blind man? The blind man until he ran into the road and got hit by a bus.

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A man goes to the potty.

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Are you thinking Arby's? No. My grandmother died of tuberculosis and it's troubling me.

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What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

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roses are red, violets are blue, get in that bed or I stick your head down the loo! Christian grey

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Why is Steven so gay? Because hes actually Richard Simmons

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What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? I don't know man, but you touch yourself at night.

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Why did the black man walk into the white house? Cause he lives there because he is our president

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period. Damnit, ignore that.

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Should a pole bump an alarm?

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What is your name? My name is Jeff

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What do you call a man named Cornelius? Well, he prefers to go by his middle name, Eric, because he was teased as a child for being named Cornelius.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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