A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the girl throw the clock out of the window? The clock was broken, and it was the only valuable object in her possession.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

the awkward moment when a fat person says they are fat

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why couldn't little Jeffy find his way to gumdrop palace? Because he was shot

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did little Jimmy go crying to his mummy? Because she was shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happens every 5 seconds? An African kid dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a dog with 4 legs? A dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Ya well your momma's so hot...I'd bang her

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Asian NASCAR.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why didn't the man walk up the stairs? He had an acorn stairlift.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: What do you call a hillbilly with 12 girl friends? A: A shepherd.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why are black people afraid of tigers? Because tigers eat people

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Me "knock knock" Tramp "who's there" Me "nobody you havent got a door"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down

What is the answer to life, universe and everything? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What does the lifeguard do on his free time? Ejaculate.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Name three similarities between racism and sexism I, S and M

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a cow that's holy? Holy Cow

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Did you hear the joke about the pencil? Nevermind it was pointless.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

If an anti joke is told, and it is about an aunty is it an aunty anti joke? Adolf Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <<

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A Priest and a young child walk into a dark alley.... It leads to a church and he talks to the young boy about God

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops