What dd the man say to his wife? Make me a samich!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's brown and smells like poo? Poo.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why does andy speak when not spoken too because he wants a smack

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +3,312

What looks like half a loaf of bread. The other half

thumb_up thumb_down +5

there are three dudes one is white, one is mexican, one is black so a wizard says wish of something you want to be and jump off the roof. so the white guy wishes to be and eagle and jumps off and is an eagle the mexican wishes to be an owl and jumps off an becomes an owl then the black guy wishes he had to shit and jumps off and falls to the ground cause he turns into shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's under there? I'm not falling for that one...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the anti-joke say? Nothing for it is an anti-joke which is a group of word formed to create a sentence and sentences cannot speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Baking a cake can be very hard and stressful, just like beating a slut with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the frog say to the other frog Your a chode

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why couldn't little Timmy turn in his homework? Because on the way to school little Timmy was hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender for grapes. The bartender explains to the duck that he does not sell grapes. Later that day, the bartender recounts the story to a friend; the friend advises the bartender to undergo psychological testing.

thumb_up thumb_down +403

I'm sorry but your child seems to have fractured his spinal column and can no longer control any part of his body below his neck.

thumb_up thumb_down

-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the dude fall? Because he tripped over a stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How do you find a true idiot jump in the road when the light is green.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Predators face looks like what? Pussy.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

BIble verses: (secret bible code breaker edition) 90.01: Might thy level of power rise above the scouter of Vegebles 3.14: Thy shall make use of pee 6:9 Oral interaction is good for thee. 9:6: Peter said, lordeth this is no good, then the lordet said, try 6:9 and all was good. 6.66 Calleth upon this number on thy cell to speak with the beast. 9:11 This number shall aid you when in danger if thy have a cell, but not against the fallen by and Al Caida. 8:00 Call upon thy cellphone at no cost. 5.99 Thy use of plays of station three, areth too expensive... Whoops! Amen and RIIIIIIIIIIDGE RACER! 50:50 Thy shall share equally. 6:19: Thy shall use thy wrestling moves well. 20:00 Thy shall noth uset this windows version as it sucketh.' 88:88 Thy shall create four equal snowmen for me. 12.34 Read this and thy shall learn to count til four. 7:77 The number of the luck. X:B0X: It sucketh hard. 3:60 it sucketh far more than the original 9:99 Is the number to defeateth the beast while he is resting upside down 0:13 "and samuel said, but oh lord, I am a teen now!" And the lord agreed and all was good. Ok, I got to decode my bible further, yes indeed!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

There were two chippendales in a bar - what were their nicknames? Chip and Dale

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops