Don't turn around when you're talking to me. Why? You will walk off of that cliff

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Why'd the squrille fall out of the Tree? Cause it was dead

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Why did the fish bite the house? Because he wanted to eat the house

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knock knock Who's there? The Police! Your under arrest.

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What do you call a Welshman with a stick up his arse? A very odd man

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what is long black and smelly the welfare line

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Why did Jonathan choose to watch something else other than Geordie Shore? Jonathan is intellectual.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. Your family is dead.

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What was that pirate movie rated? PG-13

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A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

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I like my women like I like my coffee... 2 cream 1 sugar.

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Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders 4 shots. The bartender promptly pulls out a gun and shoots him 4 times.

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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why did the ginger get made fun of? because he had red hair

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh

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Whats worse than seeing your family killed in front of your eyes? Not much to be honest

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What's Mary short for? She's got no legs.

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Wanna hear a joke? Too bad.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This joke is stupid, Chuck Testa.

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What is the difference between Jews and the boyscouts? The boyscouts come home from camp.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was involved in a homicide at the Children's Hospital resulting in death row right away and the killing of 12 other numbers

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A seal walks into a club.

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Knock Knock Whos there Cameron oh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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