Q - What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a trampoline? A - I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline.

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Q. Why are most jews unemployed? A. They all got fired.

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If your fighting an octopus on mars how many lamps does it take to repair a dog house? Nine because a toaster cannot ride a bicycle.

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What rhymes with turtle? RAPE

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What's worse than the Holocaust? This joke.

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Congress back then: No sooner had I ended this prayer than a pederast farted on my right. "Hah! a good omen," said I, and prostrated myself; then I burst open the door by a vigorous push with my arse, and, opening my mouth to the utmost, shouted, "Senators, I wanted you to be the first to hear the good news; since the war broke out, I have never seen anchovies at a lower price!"

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"hey do you know the date" "58"

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Who's the best player in Madden 07 on the PS2? Michael Vick.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your Mom is a fake, she adopted you!

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What did the mexican do when 3 INS workers came to his house? He showed them his papers and it turns out he was a natural born US citizen. The mexican then proceeded to invite the INS into his home for a cup of coffee but they respectfully declined

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what is the difference between a puppy and a baby... ...they are different animals

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get to the hospital before he lost to much blood from his stab wound.

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What would you call Shaquille O'Neal if he was on the moon? Shaquille O'Neal, or any nickname you may have for him.

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Q: If 2+2=Fish, then what does 3+3=? A: 6.

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Roses are red, violets are blue Charcoal is black, and so is my neighbor

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A deaf man sits down puts on his headphones presses play on his ipod starts to nod his head and realises what he has just done

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How do you get a drummer off your doorstep? Ask politely.

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Q. Why did the chick go to KFC? A. To visit his mother

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Why did the blonde go to law school? She was sick of people assuming that she was not an intelligent woman due to negative sterotypes about her gender and hair color and set out to prove said people wrong.

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Do you know what's funnier than 24? 25

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Whats a never ending Opium for the stupid, mentally depraved un educated population? Christianity

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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