have u ever have to clean up ur own poop? me niether.

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why was the postman sad? because ran over a small child with his truck

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what did jesus say to moses? jesus isn't real

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What happens when you run over a black man? It is most likely that he is killed.

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a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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why did the woman walk into the kitchen? i don't know, but the better question is why she left in the first place.

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What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

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A horse walks into a bar. He called him Arthur. Those are two sentences.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball? A blonde is a human woman and a bowling ball is an inanimate object used for the popular sport of bowling.

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when life gives you lemons, force a hobo to eat them because lemonade is going to suck if life doesnt give you any sugar.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink successfully, pays, and leaves. Three weeks later he dies tragically.

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You haven't happened to see a cigarette truck around here have you? What's a truck?

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Do you know why Justin Bieber is so successful? Because he is a talented dancer-singer who was lucky enough to be discovered by pop music icon Usher.

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What did the white man say to the group of mexicans when a golf ball was coming toward them? 4!

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A priest, a rabbi and Santa walk into a bar. that's a highly coincidental situation.

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What time is it? 20:45.

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A mans wife gets pregnant after he has a visectomy... She was artificially inseminated using sperm he froze before the operation

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? However many needed.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

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Sally heard a scream in a dark room and went to go see who it was. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally...

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What are the similarites between Autistic people and dead people? They are both very poor in social situations

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I was hoping you could tell me–why else would I ask you a question?

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops