How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

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What do you call Mexicans who go to jail? Criminals.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

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Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

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Where does a homeless person live? No where

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What happens when you throw a blue rock into red water? It gets wet...

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Why was Mary's phone call suddenly disconnected? She was raped.

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What's worse than depression? Having depression and killing yourself

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How do you get Doctor Phil in a bikini? Give him a little alcohol to ease inhibitions and offer him a suitable bribe.

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A black man, a white man and an asian man jump off a building, which one will land first? Due to the equivalence principle, they will all land at the same time.

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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What did Facebook say to Twitter, and twitter to blogg ant blogg to youtube? nothing. They cant talk..

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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Why was the Asian so good at ping-pong? Disciprine.

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What did the blind lawyer say to the doctor? We're both lawyers!

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Q. Why did the monster have eight legs? A. I don't know.

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- I did your mom last night! - Thanks, Dad.

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What happened to the blonde that died her hair brown? Her hair turned brown.

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What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Drowning.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas? cancer

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A black guy and a Mexican jump off a bridge. Who dies first? Nobody cares.

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Why cant Hellen Keller Drive? Because shes a women.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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