you are looking on the internet someone falls over and i were shoes and chips prevent world war 2

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A man walks into a bar. He has a beer and then goes home.

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Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

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A black guy, a white guy, and a mexican guy are stranded in the middle of a desert. After many days of not finding food, water, or shelter they contemplate cannibalism to survive, but can't decide who to eat. The mexican dies first for an unrelated reason

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Yo mama's so old, she might die soon

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8=>

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Why did the young boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, Ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Why didn't Jesus like pizza? Because he didn't exist.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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Your momma's so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? Hit him with an axe

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Q: How many Jew does it take to change a light bulb? A: A lightbulb cannot be changed, it either is or isn't. Do you mean replace a burned-out bulb with a new one? With design, logistics, manufacturing, marketing of just that single bulb- there are many people involved. It could be argued that we all play some small part in the process.

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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whats the difference between a dog and a cat? ones a dog.

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Bitch please, you're adopted as well.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Dedication and hard work

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is the glass of milk half empty or half full it is scientifically proven that these are the same thing. Choosing one over the other is like saying that 1/2 does not equal 1-1/2. A normal person would just see this as an ordinary glass of milk.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well, one must question: 1. How much the electrician knows when it comes to screwing in lightbulbs. 2. The amount of electricians present at the scene. 3. The type of equipment being used in the process. 4. The physical and mental stability of the electrician. The situation is solely dependent on the above factors.

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Why did the batmobile lose a wheel? The joker was raping robin too hard

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What did the underaged man say when he walked in the bar? He asked for a Coke.

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How can you finally get your girlfriend to scream in the bedroom? Store the bodies there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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