What's long, hard, and full of seamen? An ejaculating penis.

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Roses are red-ish Violets are blue-ish If it weren't for Jesus we'd all be jewish

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" Hey you have something on your face. " ( man speaking punches the guy he was talking to ) " It was pain."

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An atheist and a Christian are sitting next to each other on the bus, however both of them believe it inappropriate to talk religion with complete strangers so neither one finds out about the others beliefs and they never see each other again.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The bold and unpredictable female bird escaped under the horror of the fearful fence of which enclosed the innocent chickens. As she wandered towards the nearby city of magic and dreams she approached by a large, empty road. A mysterious, shining object in the distant caught her eye. As she slowly to a shivering step towards the intereging sparkle, she was ran over by a car. EPIC FAIL LOL!!!!

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What's worse than standing in line at Walmart? Being raped. What's worse than paying an outrageous amount for whatever it is you bought at Walmart? Being pregnant with a rape baby.

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What did one duck say to the other duck? Nothing, ducks cannot talk.

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If 1 + 2 = 3 Then, what does 2 + 1 equal? It equals 3 due to the fact that reversing the order of numbers does not change the outcome of the equation :D

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She's dead.

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Why did the monKey fall out of the tree? He died Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first one

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Paul howley can't drive, phahahaha

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An boy with ADHD walks into a

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Ching Chong Chinaman is sitting on a wall. People make fun of his name because it is so unusual.

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If an illegal immigrant fought a child molester, is it Alien vs. Predator?

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What did the camera man say when the actor took off his pants? Why did you take off your pants?

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Roses are Grey Violets are Grey lolololol Im a dog

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Mac: Hi, I'm a Mac! PC: And I'm a PC. Steve Jobs died.

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog. Instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why did the little boy cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken

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What did the girl say when she arrived at the party? "I like what you did with the furniture!"

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On a scale from Casey Anthony to Sandusky, how much do you like children?

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Yo Mama is so old that she is probably unable to become pregnant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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