My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

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When does the ice cream get thrown at the yellow horse on thursday evening? Purple Monkey Rainbow

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Yo Mama's so fat when she fell out of the tree she hit the ground very, very hard.

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Knock Knock Who is there? 9-11 9-11 who? You said you would never forget.

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kara is funny she loves her money so she buys a bunny for her honey

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Why did the man break all his bones? Because his parachute failed to open

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If life gives you lemons, you can't really make anything because you lack the proper materials.

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A rabbi walks into a bar mitzvah

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh

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What is worse than you commiting suicide? the many years of mourning and threapy your loved ones may have to go though

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What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

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What did james say on his bitrhday? There was no birthday because he was aborted but he said ''crunch'' anyway

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moonshine most none americans think its just when the moon shines we have another story

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What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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knock knock whos there santa santa who .....long pause he doesnt exist now go shoot urself

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So a man walks into a bar... ouch

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Roses are red Violets are blue, I am sorry... But you have terminal cancer and are probably going to die in about 3 months

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What did obama say to the united states of america YES WE CAN

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what do you do if you catch syphilis from a Swedish prostitute? seek the help of a medical professional.

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What do you do if a bird shuts on your windscreen? A:never take her out again.

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who's a knob,a liar, and systematically ruining a once well-run family football club by employing crooks , buying footballers who are well-passed there sell-out date and getting the team relegated ? steve kean not laughing ? nor are 23 ,000 others

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

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List of people I love: Hitler Stalin Mussolini Ted Bundy Charles Manson Hannibal Lecter Vladamir Putin Satan Justin Beiber One Direction Chris Brown Chris Brown's parents Oh, and my mother. I love my mother, too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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