a lady says, " i cant stand this." Th guy next to her had his legs blown off and will never be able to stand again.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What falls down, but never gets back up? A dead person.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A Jew walks into a bar. He quickly works on treating the injuries he had received from hitting his head against the bar when he had walked into it.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why is 6 scared of 7? Because last year, when 6 was going to the gas station, 7 approached him and said "gimme all your money or else I'll shoot you". 6 was so scared he ran away crying. About a few days later 6 spots 7 again and this time he was with 9. He said "yo 6! If you don't give me your money, im gonna do this to you!" and then 7 started biting and chewing 9 as if he was some kind of cannibal. 6 ran away and called the police. He told him that 7 ate 9.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I heard you let the cat out of the bag. It died.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How did the Mexican got into the USA? Trough the border.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

An boy with ADHD walks into a

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's white and sticky? Glue

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What happens to men who grow up. They are probably taller

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whose your daddy? Not me

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Four turtles once fell into nuclear waste. They remained unnoticed and later died from exposure to radiation.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Remember that comic blooper? Captain America fighting some dude: Okay buster only one of us is getting out of here alive! Next panel: Captain is kicking his foe and yelling AND IT WONT BE MEEEEEEEE! ...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

please thumbs this up to help rhinos with boners thank you

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Well Erron, its your lucky day then. I wont even ask what a cream pie is.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Just got back from the corner store. Bought 3 corners.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A boy and a girl are each granted a wish Girl: I want us to be lovers until the end of the world Boy: I want the world to end

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Where's Justin Beiber? With his girlfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What do you call a qoman with 10 kids? A mother with 10 kids

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the woman make the man a sandwich? Because the man severed his spinal cord and is no longer able to move any of his limbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes And now so do you

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Shut up max im not fucking demented u dickhead

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's the difference between a large pizza and a black man? The pizza is a delicious Italian classic dish, while the latter is a human being which man frown at the notion of consuming.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops