What did the little boy with cancer say right before he died? Nothing. He was very sick and could not speak at all during his final weeks.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves when he realizes he is supposed to be at a business meeting

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There's a 4 door kayak going down the street and it loses a wing. How many doughnuts fit in a dog house? And remember its not yellow, because snakes don't have armpits.

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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Which does does the Mississippi River flow in? Liquid.

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My friend billy had a ten foot.... Garden hose. Upon showing it to the neighbour next door he hit it with a rake which significantly shortened it and subsequently had to buy another

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Q: What did Peter say after a long day of work when he got home? A: Nothing, in fact he has job, home, family, or anyone to help him. His leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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A Man walks into a bar, he sits down on a stool and begins to cry. Why are you crying, asks the Bartender. I just lost my job, my wife left me and I had my car reposesed. Ok says the Bartender, I know what'll cheer you up, he promptly pulls out a 12 inch piano and begins to play. The Man at the Bar says, hey thats awesome where did you get it? The Bartender says, a really old Genie gave it to me. You know what, I like you so I am going to let you have my last wish. Really? Asks the man, Ok thanks, I wish for a million bucks said the man at the bar. There was a Loud voice saying "Your Wish has been granted" then the room was full of ducks. Hey! Exclaimed the man, I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks! Yeah, said the bartender, and I wished for a 12 inch penis...

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How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

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2 muffins are in an oven. One says to the other, "it's really hot in here!" the other replies, "WHOA. A talking muffin!"

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Why did the man drive into the river? He was sleep deprived from working overtime.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What does 1+1 equal? 2

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why did the girl cross the road ? to get run over by a flee of running cows

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What do you call a black man selling drugs? average

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How do you know that god was a male? You don't, that's why it's called faith.

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Who's mean and white and really not nice? Hitler

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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gay people

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What did the black girl say when sho dropped her phone? Oh crap, I dropped my phone.

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Why did the little girl cry? Because she had just witnessed the slaughter of her entire family and friends in front of her eye, leaving her not only peerless and alone, but also with the mental scars which come with witnessing such a harrowing ordeal.

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i have read and agree to the terms of service

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Q: Why did the girl fall off the swing? R: Because she had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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