A:Why did the chicken cross the road? B:To get The Daily.....Do you get it. A:No. B:Me neither..I get The Times.

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go up to some one and say "i told you it would happen" with a straight face and walk away. it should cause a LOT of confusion.

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knock knock whos there? your neighbor, dude im sorry but i swear i didnt see your kid on my drive way.

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Why do Eskimos build igloos? Because it is the most practical form of habitation for their climate zone, lifestyle, and availability of materials.

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Man: Why do you wear your wedding ring on the wrong finger? Woman: Oh, wow, thanks for pointing that out. Silly me.

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How did baby Bobby spend his summer vacation? He didn't, he died from heat exhaustion.

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What do you get when you cross a cat with a log? I think the better question is why are you mixing those two things together?

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Two octopuses are swimming in the ocean. Suddenly a scuba diver spots one of the octopus. The octopus looks at the human and swims away.

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Why did the boy not wake up on time for school? He was fucking dead.

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Is your refridgerator running? because if its not, you should probably have it looked at by a repair man,

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What happened to the guy that took to many lunesta pills? He fell asleep but he was glad it was the weekend or he would have been late for his job

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walk briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I got pneumonia so now I am too

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What's worse than getting a jigsaw puzzle for your birthday? Slavery

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I Won a Math Debate................ say it fast unless your blind then dont say it wait you cant read it so uhhm Alaska

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how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

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why did the teacher say that the student did well in class? because the student did well in class

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What's the difference between a blonde and a blow up doll? The blonde is a person, you sexist asshole.

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A man told this joke once... it wasn't funny.

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A: Knock Knock B: (No Reply) Nobody is home and the man trying to get in will come back later and try again.

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What did the blind, deaf rabbit get for Easter? . . . Eaten by a by a lion.

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A man walks into a bar and says "ouch." It was an Iron bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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