How did the teenage mother get her baby to stop crying? Multiple stab wounds to its throat

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A man trips on an old bottle. He picks it up and out pops a genie. "I will grant you three wishes!" says the genie. "Whatever you so desire is my com--" "I'm already late for a meeting!" shouts the man. He drops the bottle and continues on.

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your mother is a well respected woman in society and makes delicious cookies.

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LIE

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what's retarded and has red hair? You. ;)

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What's Brown and sticky? A stick!

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Whats white and goes up? a confused snowflake

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What did the one alcoholic say to the other? We are both alcoholics

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If you were on an island with one wish what would you wish for? To get off the island

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A man crossed the road. A chicken stood in a doorway smoking a cigarette wondering why whenever he crosses the street his motives are always questioned yet men and other animals are allowed to go about their day normally. END CHICKEN DISCRIMINATION NOW!

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What do you call two blacks on a bike? Two good friends having a good time.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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What happened to the man who was raking leaves? He kept his yard clean and felt great about his hard work.

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What do you call a black man with a gun a soldier who is fighting for his country

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Your Mom

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I dyslexic man walks into a bra. This incident had no relation whatsoever to his condition. The bra was just in an unusual and inconvenient location, and he wasn't paying much attention to where he was going.

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Knock, knock. Door opened.

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Why was the girl crying? DEEZ NUTS!

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5 Christians, 4 Arabs, 3 Jews, and a Monkey are locked in a room with sticky bombs, hand grenades, a bible, and some bananas. What do they do? play scrabble

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asking someone to check ur broken wing mirror to fall into that persons arms by accident is not a good idea

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What do you call a cow climbing a tree? Amazing. How many cows have you seen climbing trees?

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What is 6 1/2 inches when erected? My penis.

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Why are black people so dark? They originated from Africa

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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