Ask me if I am a cat. Are you a cat? No, what kind of stupid question is that?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do you call a drunk person? By his or her name and call him a cab

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the guy round second base? to get to 3rd

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call it when 1 person has an imaginary friend? A mental disorder. What do you call it when 1 billion people have an imaginary friend? A Religion.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

knock knock whos their a person

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: If a Hungarian boy grows up to be a very successful payroll manager and learns to love and hate, show compassion while firing someone, and how to re-image the entire white house's security system, how many pickles are in the doghouse? A: 17

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. :D

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why was six afraid of seven? Six wasn't. He listens in on women's self defense classes and can deliver a kick to the crotch so hard that it will create for you a new vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Knock Knock. Who's There? Oh wait! i don't care!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did little Jonny drop his ice cream? He was his by a bus? Why did the Kuala fall out the tree? Because it died.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a fish with 6 legs? A fish with 6 legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why couldn't the old man see? He was deaf

thumb_up thumb_down

A: knock knock A: knock knock knock... A: door bell

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your child has been in a terrible car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

we should name the next hurricane alex rodriguez so it dosent hit any thing

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Justin Bieber walked into a gay-bar, The whole world applauded.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Two ducks are in a bathtub. One duck says, "Hey, pass me the soap." The other duck says, "What do I look like, a type writer?"

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Isn't it funny that we think it's totally normal for females to not have penises but for literally EVERY OTHER group of people, it's weird and not ok double standard?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you stop a baby from crawling in cirlcles? nail its hand to the floor

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

HEy Hey Hey! Lakers are so going to bounce back!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was Dr Who unable to travel back in time using the TARDIS? Because it's just a television prop. It isn't a real time machine.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops