What's the difference between a woman and a car? A woman is merely a useful object, whereas a car deserves love, care, and respect.

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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Why did the house get trashed? Cause the babysitter was a rooster

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What did the dyslexic boy get for Christmas? A laptop. And he was very happy.

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Q. What happened first The Tree or The Apple. A. Johny Appleseed.

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What is worst then 9/11? What? Tiger woods

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Keep talking shit bitch, and I'll come for you!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Cheese Toast!

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What would you do if I ripped your face off? Bleed to death.

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Remember when they called online casino`s betting sport? Anti Joke potential detected. I used to play soccer and box back then, but I guess I was still not "sporty" enough for betting sports... And as thus I afforded my lawyer education. Moral: Now that you know my education, do you really think id ever type real morals here? Mwahahahaha!

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Why did Martin go to school with no pants on? Because he had no legs.

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Q:What happens when you mix Justin Bieber with a women? A: Well, since is a very highly impossible circumstance, I have no need to give a name for this.

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What did the irishman say when he walked into a bar? Ouch

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor Wheres my tractor?

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Why was the man afraid of the pack of wolves? The man was blind and heard his stomach growling even though he had just eaten two buckets of KFC.

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A man stepped on a nail. He died shortly after of lockjaw.

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Two kids walk into a bar and get arrested for underage drinking.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7... Because 7 raped her little sister

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?J?o?k?e?

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Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg because if a chicken came first then that means chickens magically appeared. Eggs however may change over time through evolution by a common ancestor because after millions of years of hatching, it slowly mutated by natural selection and became to what is now known as the domestic chicken. (Applause)

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What did Tommy's father tell him on Christmas? Nothing, he was violently stabbed to death on Christmas Eve.

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What's worse than burning your bacon? Finding your daughter decapitated and raped in the basement.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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What did the Spanish immigrant say? Olah.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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