What do you call someone with no arms, one leg,and an eye patch? names

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If Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee got in a fight, who would win? Chuck Norris, since Bruce Lee is dead.

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Want to know whats funnier than 24? 25

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Why did the black man go to jail? Because he committed a criminal offense.

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If an atom bomb falls in a town, does it make a sound? Not to most people, as they would be killed in a massive catastrophe that will be etched into their ancestors minds for years to come, not to mention radiation poisoning and deformation.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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What is ET short for? Extra terrestrial

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Ask me if you can see my dinosaur. Can I see your dinosaur? No dinosaurs don't exist sillyhead!

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Why did the woman stop making a sandwich for her husband? Because he's dead.

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What's funny about a Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian going over the edge of a bridge in the same car? Nothing, they all died

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What's the difference between video games and a naked chick? The Holocaust.

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Why did god create anti-jokes? He didn't.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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How do you get an asian out of a rice field? Napalm.

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A n antelope walks into a bar and many people leave for the sake of their safety and animal control gets called to escort the antelope out of the bar.

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My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me to.

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Why aren't there any black flesh-colored bandages? Good question.

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Why did the deer hunter shoot a deer? He told his wife he bought a new TV.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Your garden's on fire.

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How do gay guys have sex with women?? They dont, they are gay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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