why did your mom leave your dad because he was a drunk :l

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There was a blonde, brunette and a red head on an island. The blond was on holiday, the brunette lived there and the red head was there on business, it was a very large and industrial island.

thumb_up thumb_down +523

Why did the penguin die? He was anti-social and would rather die than huddle. So he died. THE END

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock Knock *opens the door*

thumb_up thumb_down +15

So a dog walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Quickly, someone give me the number for animal control."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red Violets are blue Thats what they tell me because I'm blind

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: What happens when two feminists try to chanbe a lightbulb? A: That's not funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: what do you call a man that see's a unicorn A: hallucinating

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

thumb_up thumb_down

What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what is 1 plus 1 i don't know ask your teacher

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? Three bee stings. Whats worse than three bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Four bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between a volleyball and a tree? They're both volleyballs except for the tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd." http://gpsphone-tracker.com/

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call Santa's helpers? Chinese factory workers, who live in impoverished conditions, work up to 16 hours a day, earning slave wages. God damn you, Steve Jobs and Mattel.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the lizard cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Judge: Why did you hit your wife with a hockey stick, Mr. Johnson? Mr. Johnson: My father and mother were mutually abusive when I grew up. As you may have guessed, this gave me a skewed view of the dynamics between husband and wife, as well as causing me to hide my emotions from myself as a defense mechanism. As a sociopath, I feel no remorse for this occurrence.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guitar who? Violin.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was the little boy's head so big? He had a tumor in his brain.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: Why are elephants afraid of mice and/or rats? A: Elephants tend to have bad eyesight and startle quite easily?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

We are not even in the same country, and my eye becomes infected two times a minute or something so I wont be going anywhere. I mean, if you are some guy trying to be a girl in order to screw with me, let me first of all thank you for our exchange of ideas and concepts, and then say that if you are a guy, that likes other guys, then... Well, lets just say that if you are a man, that I don`t speak with men in general, takes away time I can spend with the ladies.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Your mom is so fat, she got obese and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

kk

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +3,868

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops