Why did Miss Parkinson get hit by a bus? Because it missed Justin Bieber by a few inches.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I'm winning at Scrabble.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If Michelle rides her bike at 15 mph for 20 minutes and Erik rides his bike at 20 mph for 12 minutes, why is Michelle not in the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A black guy walks into a shoe store and buys a pair of size 14 shoes. The cashier smiles and says: so is it true what they say about big feet? The black guy laughs for a moment and responds: yeah it's really hard to find socks that fit.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Do you know what is dead on the carpet ? Your mother

thumb_up thumb_down +38

When you cross a bird on the sidewalk what do you do??? Run in big circles.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Whats white, black, and red all over? A penguin on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Want a fight? You Spelt F**K wrong O.o

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you survive in the wilderness? You nail an orphan to a rock underwater.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then. but has a high probability of getting hit by a car and slowly dying from crushed limbs

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Yo mamas so ugly that when she went to an ugly contest the host said "sorry no Professionals"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A young boy is crying in the park, when priest walks up to him -What's the matter son? -My parents died in a horrible car accident 2 weeks ago and now i'm held in an abusive household.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half of a worm in your apple. What's worse than finding half of a worm in your apple? Getting aids from that apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

what did the apple say to the orange, nothing fruits can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A black guy and a hispanic guy walk into a bar they sit down and happily have a drink CHEESE ON TOAST

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why are roses red ? Ass in my face .

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why do people go on this site? They have no friends and no lives.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +24

OMG YOU BOUGHT ME FLOWERS THANK YOU

thumb_up thumb_down +25

i cant think of one.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops