roses are red, violets are blue, i have Alzheimer's, CHEESE ON TOAST

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What do communists and strawberries have in common? You can eat them.

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A catholic priest invited one of Sunday school students to his house one night. They watched a movie and the boy was home before his bedtime.

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Yo mama is so old, she might die soon! - Louis

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Immediately following his inauguration, Bush called Obama into the oval office for a private meeting and some words of advice. Bush and Obama shook hands as gentlemen do and then Bush asked if Obama wanted to hear a joke. Obama eagerly said yes, "Good..." Bush said, handing Obama a battered copy of the United States Constitution, "...the joke is in your hands", and with that Bush turned and left.

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so if you need 20 dollars and you just kicked your cat how old is your mom. cake because you are a 666 member.

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A white guy, a mexican, and a black guy are in a race. Who always wins? Whichever one crosses the finish line first

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What did Han Solo say to Chewy before they got in the Millennium Falcon? Chewy, get in the ship.

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What do you do with a dead black man? Respect his final wishes and provide him with proper funeral services.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Hurricane Katrina

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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How fast can you paint a fence with babies? Depends how fast you can throw them.

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A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Eggplant.

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What's white and very boney? A bone

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The worst part of waking up, Is no Folgers in your cup.

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Remember when the new jokes on this sight actually used to be funny?

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What did one gorilla say to the other? Urgh.

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What do a fish and an eagle have in common? They both live underwater aside from the eagle.

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What does a Chinese girl get for Christmas? New parents...

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Person 1: Did you hear the one about the guy who drank vinegar? Person 2: No Person 1: Oh

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven stabbed his mother.

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All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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