why did the black man get kicked out of the hospital? nothing was wrong with him.

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this!" The doctor replies "That because there's a knife in your hand."

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-Knock knock. -Who's there? -Doctor. -Docter who? -Yes...

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin says "It sure is hot in here." The other muffin says "Holy shit a talking muffin

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A man is walking in the desert, alone and lost, when suddenly he finds a lamp. The man picks up the lamp and to his surprise, a genie bursts out of the lamp ! The genie says to the man: "Thank you, kind man! You have freed me from this prison I have been in for a million years. I am in your dept and will grant you three wishes." The man replies: "Wow, you've been in there for a million years and all you have to give me are three wishes?" The genie was really sad to hear of the man's lack of appreciation and flew away, leaving the man. The man eventually died of starvation and dehydration.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away privileges that she normally would have had had she not misbehaved.

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I just lied when I clicked the 'I have read and agree to the Terms of Service' to post this when in fact, I didn't read it at all.

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Knock Knock Dude there is no door

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hey, I like your shirt.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

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Why did lady gaga set her alarm? So she could get up in the morning.

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Want to hear a joke? ... Oh dear, I can't think of any. Golly, this is embarrassing.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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A muslim, a jew, and a black man jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? They all hit the ground at the same time because gravity pulls all objects at the same rate regardless of their mass.

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Q:Why was the blond so dumb A: She had downsidrome

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Q: Did you hear about the fire at the circus? A: It was in tents!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The loss of originality in anti joke formats. And hypocrisy.

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head under water until water gets into her lungs and she cant breathe.

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What was the asian person's name? I don't know, I never met him.

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what do you call a homosexual kid? A Kerich

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why was the white girl not wanting to have a baby with her boyfriend he was black

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What did the farmer say to the woodchucks chucking his wood? Excuse me, not to be rude but i worked very hard splitting and stacking that wood and would appreciate it if you would stop throwing it in the water.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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