There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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I am funny, yes? No, you are not.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't. Her head was stuck in the oven.

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Q: Why was the little boy upset? A: His nose was glued to the sidewalk.

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What do you call a guy that just shit himself? Me

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Why did the cow lay down? Because he was tired

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Why did the boy get nothing from Santa? He's Jewish.

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Whats red and is bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What did The Black man have for breakfast? Bran Flakes.

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Q. How many babies does it take to paint a room? A. Depends on how hard you throw them.

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How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them

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What's worse then a bad hair day? Hattie.

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What do you do when you see someone from the kkk? Accept what you saw and move on with your day

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A African americia and a Hispanic are in a car, who's driving? The police man

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What makes men cry? The realization that humanity is completely pointless in the infinitely expanding universe and thus any action to try and improve human life is also a complete farce.

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What did the green grape say to the purple grape? BREATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon... Michael Jackson has sex with little boys.

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Out on the playground of a school, extremely young kids are acting as living witness to an audacious thing. They're watching a very interesting display of strength and brutality. They're observing a enactment of lofty potential and great might. What're they watching? They're regarding their principal getting promptly arrested by the federal police for possession of technically illegal weaponry including, but not only limited to what looked like to them: peculiar "fire crackers" and reloadable "candy dispensers". In the ensuing battle, their principal got shot in the arm and a random pedestrian got killed by a stray bullet. In the end, the cruel joke's on them. Guess what? They're irrepairably damaged for the rest of their life.

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White guy: I figure she's a gold digger, my neighbor. Black guy: Did you say the N word?

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Whats worse than finding half of a worm in your apple? Noticing the apple is oversized and finding half of a dead baby.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an apple? I don't cum on an apple before I eat it.

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Whats worse then getting caught watching porn? 9/11

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

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Why was the black man scared of the chainsaw? Because his father was killed by one when he landed on it when he fell of his ladder that was holding him up while he was cutting the limbs of a tree.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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