- Anti Joke

E= McVagina

When is a door not a door? Never.

A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

What's 9 plus 10? 19

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

whats the difference between a white jew and a black jew the black jew is treated poorly and is sent to the back of the gas chamber

Yeah I was beginning to enjoy that as well, but I used "timed hypnosis" I have not seen it been coined elsewhere yet, not that I learn hypnosis anymore, I kinda teach it covertly to whoever I believe can use it responsively. "Timed hypnosis" is not really based upon a set amount of time after all time is relative, and our subconcious does know that and the subconcius understands that we did not invent time just because we made some fucking dials spin around" Now, timed hypnosis is based on a purpose, for example: "I will go into a trance until I am done teaching my new buddy how covert hypnosis works and teach her to use it subconciously" But now I made you aware of that, so you can use it consciously as well, the real magic here is that the subconcious is so much more efficient and powerful than the conscious mind that it would not even be neccesary to have a concious mind, except for one thing.

Stephen Hawking can walk

How do you kill a blond? Shoot her in the face.

What would George Washington say if he were alive? "Help! im stuck in a coffin!"

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing

What is green and looks like a blue car? A Green car

We are as to jokes as atheists are to religion.

What's the difference between a brick and Ricky? A brick gets laid and has a higher iq

they sent me too your moms house and 9 months later you are here

Black people are innocent.

Whats a good source of iron? A piece of iron.

Why did the little girl stop licking her Popsicle? A psychopath cut off her tongue.

What is the difference between your mom and a cow? One is a 1,500 pound beast, and one is a human being.

What's green and can read your mind? Nothing. Some people thinks the answer is a plant but don't listen to them because they are wrong.

A blind man accidentally walks into a gay bar. The bartender escorted him out and pointed him in the right direction.

What did the black man do when he found a bucket full of KFC chicken on the ground? He promptly looked around for anyone who might have bought it. After searching around, with no takers, he ate some of the chicken and saved the rest. He brought it back to his apartment and left it in his fridge, so he may later eat it as leftovers.

A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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