1)Where do you find a turtle with no legs? 2)Where? 1)Where you left it. 1)... Knock Knock... 2)Who's there? 1)...Not the turtle...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Two Jews were fighting over a penny and then they realizde that they may be made fun of for this and quickly stopped.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the girl running out of the school? Because her principal was trying to rape her.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

this girl and guy were sitting on my couch turns out its my sister and her boyfriend and she just farted

thumb_up thumb_down

"Roses are Red" "Violets are Blue" That's what they say, But it isn't true. Violets are violet, Now stop sniffing glue!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So a guy is playing jeopardy and decides to choose the category "Therapist." so he tells the host, "I'll take the rapist for 200."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What happened when the Neo-Nazi ran into a group of black people? He listened to their struggles, heard their stories, accepted their diversity and eventually hung up his hateful ways.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a house full of Mexicans? A house

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the... Timmy, your mother and I are both tired.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you wake up lady gaga Set her alarm clock to an appropriate time

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the blind man get hit by a bus? Because his seeing-eye dog was distracted by a squirrel and ran off, leaving the man in the middle of the cross-walk in heavy traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the man fall over? he had a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q: What is sad about 4 people in a Cadillac driving over a cliff? A: You could have fit more.

thumb_up thumb_down

Justin Bieber walks into a bar. <>

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Do you work at subway? Because I often enjoy eating there and i think the food is pretty good. I do not however eat there everyday because i might get overweight and get a eating disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Your mom is so fat that she should watch her weight and maintain a healthy diet.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

thumb_up thumb_down -112

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at him.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What came first the chicken or the egg? The chicken god made two of every animal

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why are black people so good at basketball? Not all black people are skilled at basketball

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? Boyscouts came back from camp

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

roses are gay s is justin beber s are u justen beber eats crap

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops