Friend: Hey dude, you wanna come to my house after school and do some Meth? Other Friend: Nah I dont wanna get scabs all over my skin, disgusting teeth, and im not in the mood for dying early. Im good here.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two guys walk into a bar. This is really exciting as they haven't seen each other for two years and are looking forward to catching up.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

bangers and mash?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did the zombie eat bob because bob was delicious

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a large dog on its side of the road attempting to harass it.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What word starts with a P and ends with an ORN?.......Popcorn sickos!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock Knock! Who's There? Not Steve Jobs.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you make a blond cry? Rape her

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Doctor Harold Boo, I was your grandmother's primary caregiver, I'm here to inform you that she died of a massive heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

hi my name is 50 cent my mom swallowd 2 quarters befor i was born dsthgiudghyudgfuawyg

thumb_up thumb_down +25

i did not type this on 12/23/11 at 8:49:47

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why black guys are the fasttest runners? Because the slowers are already in prison

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Why did Billy run away from a mysterious adult? He was playing the iconic game known as tag where 2+ people chase each other in an attempt to tag them.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I'm banging your sister.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

your mamas so fat when she puts on a belt she has to use a bomarang to get it around her.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you say if you see a monkey driving a car? Nothing , you run away because primates are incapable to have motor skill and will probably crash within the next 50 feet

thumb_up thumb_down -5

2 Scientists walk into a bar. The first one asks for H20, and the second one asks for H20 too. They both enjoy a refreshing glass of water.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What does a carrot and a potato have in common? They're both not chocolate

thumb_up thumb_down +30

So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the cat have hair? Because he did.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops