What is worse then not being able to drink your vodka right away A black guy drinking for you

thumb_up thumb_down -19

:/ Meh, I am just a side character anyways... Dont really care...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

An invisible man sleeping in your bed! Who ya gunna call? Most likely the local police department to report the strange incident possibly brought on by lack of sleep. NOT Bill Murray.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the Dementia sufferer get for Christmas?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: how do u piss off a plumber? A: kill his whole family

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happens when you are caught in the serious offense of killing somebody with intent? You get in trouble.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a gay, black, Muslim physician? Doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Do you think people can change? No. They can change their mind.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do nappies and politicians have in common? Not a lot, although President Roosevelt suffered from incontinence due to polio as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A man walks into a bar. Suddenly, he is filled with a strange feeling, as if his life is somehow the subject of a stupid joke. He walks back out of the bar and consults a psychiatrist.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the chicken!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q)What is the best way to get the bitches? A) You shouldn't try. You could go to prison on bestiality charges.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

There's an Irishman, a homosexual, and a Jew standing at a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community.

thumb_up thumb_down +5,795

Whats pink red and silver? A baby chewing on reason blades. Whats pink red silver and smells bad? Same baby two weeks later.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock Knock Who's There? Due to the fact that the man asked who's there instead of promptly opening the door, the women on the other side was raped and killed, because she went to that house to seek help.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

yo momma's so fat that when she walked into church she had a nice conversation with some people who encouraged her to start eating better.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock! Who's there? Joe Joe who? Your friend Joe OK come in

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats the difference between a person with cancer and breakfast? Breakfast is important

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do Ethiopians do at Christmas ? Starve...

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Two muffins are in an oven. How does that even work? Muffin pans come with either 6 or 12 muffin holders.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's the difference between people who make dead baby jokes and people who don't make dead baby jokes? I don't avoid eye contact with people who don't make dead baby jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's a cow's fovorite vacation spot? Farmyard animals do not receive vacations, they have long hours, no pay, and get eaten upon death.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Reminds me of when I was a teen, I was working at an elderly home, and there was this really really old woman, and she was leaning forward towards me on her wheelchair, one of her hands accidentally near my crotch, I mean this granny was really senile and shit. Then she went all like, you really like it when I touch you there don't you? I mean it was not the best nor the fastest one, but all that excitement "OMG WHAT IF I GET CAUGHT BY A COLLEAGUE WHILE A 89 YEAR OLD WAS JACKING ME OFF!" Really made it all special folks... Especially when I got caught, it was like OMG STRESS ORGASM HOLY DONT CUM NOOOAAAARGHHHH!!!!!! WOHOOOOOO! I walked outta there like a champ, I was like 18 and my girlfriend/colleague which caught me was like, 27, and the next week she was 32, and before you know it, she was 46 on facebook... Thats like you know... Too old or something...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops