Why does Lady GaGa have no hair down there? It's physically impossible to grow hair on your toenails.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was suicidal.

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two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

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Why did the toddler fall over? He's an Iraqi child and has been shot in both legs, being readied for a public execution for fighting on the opposing side.

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What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

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A man with a gun walks into a bar. The police are called and the man was killed quickly.

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How do you stop a bus? Throw a little child in front of it. If the driver is a loaf of bread, this phrase isn't rather important.

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What's better than winning a million dollars? Winning 2 million dollars!

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A teacher, a consturction worker, and an army general are on an airplane. The pilot tells them the plane has too much weight, and if they don't each drop one item then the plane will crash. Realizing one item each is obviously not enough weight to throw off, the teacher and the construction worker team up and throw the army genral off the plane. They land safely, and live the rest of their life haunted by their vile actions.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Why does Amy leave Dan? Dan gets hit by a bus.

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This dog can only sniff marijuana.

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers have no feelings.

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How do you make someone to go away from you? You rap3 them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rap3 him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rap3 him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

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Q. what do you call mexican stoners A. baked beans

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A man walks into a pole and says "I know, this pun is lame"

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There's an Irishman, a homosexual, and a Jew standing at a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community.

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What's grosser than gross? Grossest.

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DOWN

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When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

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Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

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Eeny meeny miny mo, Catch a tiger by it's toe, If he hollers let him go, Because if you don't he would attack you and go straight for you're neck and you would die a painful death...

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Why did the man known to his neighbors as 'Teetotal Al' buy himself a bottle of whisky? Because there was no factual basis to his nickname.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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