What's the difference between 9/11 and Jenga? Jenga games regularly don't kill around 3000 people.

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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A man walks into a bar. The other two ducked, and then immediately called an ambulance.

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A dog walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender goes to get him a drink, but then realizes how ridiculous this is and wakes up from his dream. He rolls over to tell his wife about it, but she ignores him. He begins to cry silently, realizing his marriage is in shambles.

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What was the only reason a ginger ever won in a fight? It was against a Dementor.

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What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Darude - Sandstorm

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What did Roadrunner name his car? Turbo Tax.

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Knock knock stop knocking you idiot, it's the 21st century

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers have no feelings.

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Whats the difference between dinosaurs and skittles? Dinosaurs were killed out hundreds of thousands of years ago when skittles on the other hand are sugery candy that people eat when they are craving a sweet treat

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him access to foodstuffs.

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Why does Shelby Like Pandora? Because she prefers rap and hip hop music and Pandora helps select songs for her to listen to according to her interests.

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whats funner than nailing a baby to a wall, ripping it off

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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a potato a chicken and a rooster ate a cat and you just wasted your time

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I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

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Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am a dog.

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whats worse then a child with a dead mom? the baby is still inside.

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why do black people have dark skin? because they were born that way

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What do Tiger Woods and Charlie Sheen have in common? They are both celebrities.

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Yo mama is so fat, she just had a heart-attack. She's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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