Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a convicted cannibalistic rapist.

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What's better than four dead babies in one trashcan? Nothing. Those babies could have grown up to be new heads of state or even the doctor who discovers the cure for cancer.

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womans having rights.

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Why did silly Miss Sally put her baby in the dishwasher? Because she was suffering from advanced stages of Schizophrenia. She thought that her baby was a dish. Her mother, Carol watched in horror as her granddaughter was placed inside. A tear dribbled from her eye. Things had been bad, but because Sally was her daughter, she had been tolerant. Carol sobbed as the baby screamed in terror, unable to escape. Finally, Carol, tears in her eyes, called Child Protective Services on her own daughter, something she didn't want to do. When CPS representatives finally came, they were horrified at the sight of a screaming baby covered in suds with burnt skin that had been scorched by hot jets. Sally's baby, Alex was taken from her and put into foster care.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was wandering and had no idea wht it was doing because it has very little mental capacity whatsoever

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How do you give a cold sore to catnip? Because he needed lemon juice

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Have you heard the one about the fat woman and the dead baby? The woman was actually pregnant, not fat, and just had a miscarriage.

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Your friend says "Hi" What do you say back? You say "chunky salsa?" She said "what?" You think she knows you made out with her boyfriend last night. So... You blurt out " I'm SO sorry I made out with your boyfriend lastnight" Know.... Your dead meat.

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my brother yells at me for singing in the shower so i scream "how can you hate from outside the tub when you cant even get in?"

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Penis.

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Michael J Fox may not be able to draw a perfect circle but he sure can jerk off like a champ

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My life sucks, I'm about 20 years old, and i haven't changed aged for 15 years, I'm stuck in this dead end fast food job, my colleague hates me, my boss is a money crazed freak, my best friend is a mentally retarded immature weirdo and to top it all off, I live in a pineapple under the sea.

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How do you make a blond to shoot herself? You give her a gun and than ask her to pull the trigger.

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Why did Tyrone try to sell Timmy some blow? Due to his poor educational background, lack of recommendations, and a terrible job market, Tyrone wasn't able to get a real job and had to resort to selling illegal narcotics. This wasn't something Tyrone wanted to do, because he promised himself he would never end up like his father, but this was the only way he could support his family.

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What doesn't kill you makes you...... A paraplegic

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Why did the boy live on the street? He was an orphan.

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my uncle tommy is super religious. last month he's walking down the street, he gets mugged and shot in the chest. now miraculously (and i mean miraculously), he always keeps a bible in his left chest pocket. and he had something to read as he bled to death.

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How do you teach your daughter to stop wetting the bed? Cut her best friends eye-lids off at her birthday party.

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want to hear a bird joke? no well, this is hawkward

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Q:What's worse than watching the show Jersey Shore? A:Nothing.

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What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Irish sunglasses

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how do you make your mom mad? mushroom stamp her face

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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This guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. She stuck her head out and said, yes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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