What's worse than stubbing your toe? Slavery.

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What did the cow say to the farmer? moo

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Why was Samantha crying? Because her hair got stuck in a fan.

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What did the female lady person say to the baby? Get Some.

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What do you call a Mexican from Cancun? A cholo.

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

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How do you stop a canadian from saying eh? Kill it...

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Why didn't the woman make sandwiches? She was making baguettes.

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What did the friend say to the other friend? A. Hi friend.

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Your mother is so old that she is dead.

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I agree to the terms and conditions

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Two doctors were performing open heart surgery on a 54-year old woman. The surgery was a success, and she is now living comfortably in Portland, OR. She enjoys sweet tea.

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There was a irishmen in his house. He was thirsty. so he drank some water

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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whats worse then girls playing sport ? girls cutting grass

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because there were no cars in the way.

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Q: How do you drown a black guy? A: Hold his head underwater and sit on his back.

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Call me Ishmael. Or don't. Well, you can, but I'm not forcing you. You could call me Steve or Bob, it's not really that important. I'm just around here anyway to tell about a huge white dick. A whale dick. A SPERM whale dick. Never mind. Or the guy whose obsessed with it. No, it's not what it sounds like. He just wants to stab it with his harpoon. Wait, that sounds even worse. Whatever. Anyway, call me Ishmael...

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You know that song "FIrework" by Katy Perry? Well, I ate a hotdog last night.

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I thought about taking a nice warm shower, but then I realized that the power was out and it would probably be a cold shower.

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An alphabet walks into the post office and asks for a letter. What does the postal worker give the alphabet? Nothing. Alphabets can't walk.

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what happened to your carpool? they died.

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Girl: How do I know if I'm Jewish? Guy: Are you Jewish? Girl: No. Guy: There ya go.

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violets are red my name is bob this poem makes no sense microwave

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops