What happens when your scared half to death...twice!!? Nothing, being scared half to death is an expression, you should not be fearing for your life.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

what is black and blue and hates sex? the ten year old in my trunk.

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

What rhymes with milk...milf

sticks and stones may break my bones but hemophilia will make me bleed to death

Multi Orgasmic Pillow screechers

how do you make a cripple depressed? stairs..

North Korea is red. Amerika is blue. But they both split blood. All over you

How do you kill yourself You jump of a cliff

what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

The man that loved birds so much that he played golf just to get a birdie.

This is Jeff and I gots to take a HUGE SHIT. I bet its gonna be smelly and runny. After I wipe I'm gonna lick it and taste it. I bet it tastes GOOD. I hope it has a lil blood in it too.

A blind man walks into a bar After realising he might be hurt everybody rushes to his aid

Why are Holocaust locations so expensive? They were mass acres.

What did Sally get for Christmas? AIDS

Jesse is so fat, his weight on his scale says " hahaha gotta love childhood obesity"

you cant spell slaughter withought laughter

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

What is the difference between a deer and a child in africa? Why does it matter? They're both being hunted.

the meaning of life is too burn calories so I burnt a fat kid?

What did the black boy find on his doorstep A package from his grandparents in Australia

Q. What do you call an average middle-aged white man who walks into a bar and asks for a drink? A. Not a very funny joke

What do you call a black guy that steals a car? A father desperate to save his dying son who doesn't have a car to drive to a hospital

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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