you're mommas so fat that her doctor says she is morbitly obese and may die of a heart failure later in life

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Kid: Teacher, what do you hate more than supervising people in detention sessions at this school? Teacher: I am a vegan. Hence meat is relatively dispicable and I abhor it in general.

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Q. How do you make an oil lamp turn off? A. Break it.

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why did the lady take anti depressants? because she was depressed

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Wwhat's black on top and white on the bottom? Rape.

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Ya mama so fat when she went on an elevater she had no chose but to go down Hahaha I'm so so funny haha Awesome mon yeah

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There once was a girl named sally with no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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Make it? Sodium levels? Means he is eating right? Its not ADHD, the chatter is his way of coping with pain and what I believe is PTSD (dont tell him, he would get mad, if he gets that blank stare while chatting a lot its like he is back in the past for a while, please distract him out of it, but dont tell him anything about that. Give him what he wants, its a secret but Nero masters hypnosis, and he pretty much knows himself to a point far beyond others know themselves, he can sense lies and knows how others are feeling just by the movement of their pupils, their eyes, their breath, the tonality of their voice and lots of things like that, I think thats some sort of hypnosis as well, he uses ritalin in order to focus and shut off pain receptors mentally and stuff I don't understand, I am sure he would not ask for it unless he knew he could take it, he has literally performed surgery on himself before, the kind that would kill anyone unless under strong anesthetics. (removed bullets from the back of his skull, people say its just a myth, but I was there so I know its true) Please trust me on this as weird as it might sound.

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what do u call a black person by his name

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What do you call a horse standing alone in an empty field? Tesco's own Beef Lasagne.

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What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

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What did the irishman say when he walked into a bar? Ouch

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why did the goat go up the ladder? because its ladder goat

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Why can't so many guys get it up? Because erectile dysfunction affects 30 million men nationwide.

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Why was the tomato blushing? It saw the salad dressing.

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Dumbledore: Yo mamma's so fat --- her Patronus is a cake! Voldemort: ...bitch!

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How do you get black children to stop jumping on the bed? Tell them it's not allowed and that consequences will ensue if the rules are not followed.

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Why was the white man's baby black? The mother was black.

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? It's a trick question. Feminists can't change anything.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, because they have turned to alcoholism because there is no God. GO COMMUNISM, BOO AMERICA.

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How did the man want his hair cut? In silence.

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what is long black and smelly the welfare line

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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their is a box of mystery. wat is in that box?? do u no wat is in that box!?!?!?!?!?!?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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