- I was at my house last night - I was at your MOM'S house last night... I'm her neighbor, she was having trouble with her plumbing and I thought i should help out

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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2 gingers went to a pumpkin patch... And nobody ever found them( life lesson, don't take your ginger to a pumpkin patch)

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Roses are red. Voilets are blue I'm Morgan Freeman and I CAN SMELL YOU...

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

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how many scrubbers does it take to change a light bulb ? 2 , 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell piss

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jack shine and keiran = nate robinson

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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go up to some one and say "i told you it would happen" with a straight face and walk away. it should cause a LOT of confusion.

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why don't you make like a tree. and get out of here

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Reclu. Reclu who? Recluse Spider.

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Whats on my leg? A pimple. What is it doing? Releasing a white/clear puss.

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What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

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Whats red and you can't see it? No Tomatoes

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what did the boy with dyslexia get for his birthday? bad grades

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What stinks and comes out of someones mouth. Bad Breath

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A bartender walks into a bar. About 8 hours later, he goes home.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Quetzalcoatl. Quetzalcoatl who? Quetzalcóatl, Mayan name Kukulcán, (from Nahuatl quetzalli, “tail feather of the quetzal bird [Pharomachrus mocinno],” and coatl, “snake”), the Feathered Serpent, one of the major deities of the ancient Mexican pantheon. Oh... hi.

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"I see" said the blind man to his dead wife

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Why did the man run? Because he was trying to get a gold medal for the 200m at the Olympics.

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How do you survive the plague? you dont.

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What do an apple and a banana have in common? They are both not cookies

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I can't hear music. I am a sentence.

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the dentist? A: Because he was dying of brain cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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