What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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What's silver and bad for your teeth? A wrench

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Why couldn't the elephant ride the bike? Because it didn't have a thumb to ring the bell!

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Q: How many Jews can fit in a four door Sudan? A: Two in the front, three in the back, six million in the ash trey.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice-cream? He was run over by a bus and died instantly.

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Ammy Winehouse walks into a bar Don't you said we should stop jocking about dead people ?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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What did the man say to th tiger? Nothing, a tiger is a dangerous and vicious animal. It then ripped him to pieces. Is family mourned after for a very long time till they came to grips with the death of the main income in their family. Aids

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What did the fat black man do? Get a gym membership.

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What do you call a larger individual having intense sex with a smaller individual? Rape.

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How did Jimmy lose seven pounds? I killed him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To collect it's AIDS medication.

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Two tomatoes are crossing the road. Suddenly one of them gets hit by a car. He goes "AGH!"

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There are two muffins in the oven. One muffin says to the other "phew it's kinda hot in here" the other muffin says "AWW a talking muffin!"

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Yo mama is so fat, when she went for a swim at the beach, she had a GREAT time.

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why are their no mexicans in hell they all jumped the border

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and asks for directions to the nearest Applebee's.

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What is the difference between baldness and boldness? The second letter.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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Q:Why did the man fall down the stair I don't know? A:Because he wasn't careful

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What did Hellen Keller say to her baby cousin? Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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