Why couldn't the grandma remember what she did last night? Because she has Alzeihmers and grandmas don't do anything.

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Hi! This is Richard Young, I'll take it from here Ms.Mcgruder, lets find a quiet place to talk about this, e.c. at 5:00 p.m. tomarrow.

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a girl and a guy rented a hotel room for a night. theyre siblings and stayed up all night watching very classy movies about farm animals and each of them ordered a chocolate cake to eat while watching their fantastic informational film.

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Knock knock Who's there Ted Bundy

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Why did the hunter shoot the deer? Because he was hungry and might starve to death if he didnt

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not yours.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Someone threw a hippo at the pilot.

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What did the white man say to the black man? Did you see the game yesterday?

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that : L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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What do you get when you come across a blonde. Depression, because you want to do her, but you know that will never happen cause you spend to much time sitting on your ass looking at anti-jokes.

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What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

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What is the difference between a firework and a dog? One is funny to blow up and the other one is pretty lights

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Q:What did the scissors say to the paper? A: Nothing, cause thier scissors and paper they don't talk..

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What is worse than burning your toast? - Obama

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"Knock Knock" "Who's There?" "Sara" "Come in, we will have a cup of coffee in the good company of each other."

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Yo mamma so fat that when she gets in bed she gets sleepy

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Why was the little boy sad? Cause his mum died of a terminal illness. Why was the little girl sad? Cause she was his sibling.

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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joe diragi whacks off his dog

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Why didnt the kid go in the pool? Because there was no pool!!

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What's worse than a real joke on AntiJoke? The Holocaust

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why did the man fall off his bike? He got shot by the navy seals, He was a highly decorated terrorist.

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Your momma is so old, she has lived a wonderful, long life and witness a lot of human achievement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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