What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

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Two guys walk into a bar, but the third guy is a duck.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravitational force acted upon the monkey who was not holding on to any branch.

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Whats black and hanging from a tree in my backyard? A tire swing

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Roses are red Violets are blue Dandelions are weeds

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Barack Obama

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Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Okay

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Why do women live longer? Once they're sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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If you die, and have 5 cents in your pocket, does the toast still land jelly side down?

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Q. have you seen Helen Keller house A. niether has she

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What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? Literally an endless list of things.

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Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I'm a Schizophrenic And so am I

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Q:what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile? A:get in the batmobile

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven has an extra penis

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Oh, right

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What is funnier than the funniest thing in the world? Something funnier than the world!

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What happened when an FBI agent and a cop argued over control of a hostage situation? Several people including a respected community leader were killed.

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What did the pepperoni say to the pepper We are both tacos

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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What do you get when you take a bag of chips and divide it by 5? a Nike store worker's meal

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What do nappies and politicians have in common? Not a lot, although President Roosevelt suffered from incontinence due to polio as a child.

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You know you're dyslexic when life gives you melons.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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