Why don't women know how to drive a car? Because there are no roads between the kitchen and the bedroom.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. It was a dead monkey.

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do you like walffles?Yes I like walffles!

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A Jew walks into a Furness

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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Girls

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Its a bird...its a plane....it IS a plane

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What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

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i hate when mothers said " clean your room" me " why " mom " because we have guest coming " me " oh i am sorry i didn't know we are all gathering in my f**king room

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he lives in a chicken coop and has never even seen a road.

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Why did the girl fall down the hill? Her boyfriend pushed her.

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you know what rhymes with sloth. rape

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Knock Knock! Oh god Johnny, someones at the door! Hide the heroin and bail man, BAIL!!!

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What do you call a man who just died 5 minutes ago? Dead.

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dallen loves penis

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Why did the football player go to the bank? He had to make a deposit and refinance his home.

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What did Joe do after the party? He went home.

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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Knock knock? Who is there? Nobody. Those were noises coming from your head.

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What do you call a kid with one arm and an eye-patch? Names.

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A Guy walks into a Bar, has a good time and leaves

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A man spills his his drink. Like any other man would do, he got some paper towels and some mult-purpose cleaner and proceeded to wipe up the mess. Not a further word was said about the situation.

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I'm on the seafood diet. I eat clams and shrimp because it is healthy for me.

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What is worse than tripping over a stone, and falling face first into a dog shit, Not much..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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