How do you fit 94 jews in a volkswagon? two in the front, three in the back, and 89 in the ash tray

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What happened to the turtle that was on land Dead

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Life gives you lemons you make lemonade. What do you do when life gives you melons... youre skrewed.

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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The power of Mindfuck: What if you can only walk left when you are right? And if you can walk right when you are the only one left? What is left when everything is right? Moral: Create a right world by taking the left road? YOU PIECE OF FILTH!

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Q: What did Mr. Spoke say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

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How do you keep a blond in suspense?

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob. What do you call a man with no arms or legs in front of your door? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms or legs hanging on your wall? Art.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Not Schrodinger's cat, or is it?

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Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

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Q: Why does it snow in Canada and not in Mexico? A: Because Canada is far from the equator and Mexico isn't.

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Wgat did the umpire say to the asian batter? Foul ricebowl!

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Q: Whats the biggest lie? A: The Cake...

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Why did Timmy masticate in front of everyone at the dinner table? If he hadn't, he would have choked on large chunks of food.

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What do you call a house full of Mexicans? A house

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What did the black boy find on his doorstep A package from his grandparents in Australia

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baby loves lalma

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How do you stop a bus? throw a boy with an ice cream cone infront of the bus. but...come to think of it, that may not work. he might drop the ice cream on top of it >:l

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Why cant your mom breathe She chockin on my D**K

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have narcolepsy.

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what do you call a redneck virgin? a seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

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Knock Knock? Why did you just say knock knock just ring the doorbell

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Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7? A: Cus 7 had AIDS and it was bleeding all over the place!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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