Whats red and smells like black paint Red paint

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alexis. Hi, come in!

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was in the oven because the farmer was cooking it for dinner.

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Hurricane sandy should have been named hurricane snooki because it ruined the jersey shore

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People Eating Tasty Animals

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The gay man came out of the closet.....Not that he wanted the world to know about his alternative lifestyle but because he is fairly wealthy and keeps his trousers on hangers in the rear of his walk in closet.

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wanna hear a joke? me niether.

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how did helen keller's parents punish her? stuck a plunger in the toilet

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What's a ghost's favorite color? Usually whatever their favorite color was in life.

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Roses are black, Violets are too. I am colorblind, How about you?

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How does a man with no arms ride a bicycle? He can't, he loses control and falls over, getting a few scrapes and bruises.

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Why was the kid crying? Cause he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Check this web out www.hurr-durr.com

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Chuck Norris was once engaged by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What do you call a mailman who doesn't deliver mail? Unemployed

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Knock knock" my mom says not to talk to strangers!"

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What did the vegitarian order for brunch. VEGITARIANS DONT BELIEVE IN ICE CREAM>

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how do you get a girl of a swing? puch her off! how do you get her friend of a swing? throw a refridgerator at her!

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Hey, I'm Schrödinger, and this is crazy! But here's a sealed box... the cat lives, maybe...

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9/11.

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Why was Nathan upset Because his sister died from an undiagnosed case of tuberculosis

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The question just posed is unanswerable, as in order to state the reasoning for the chicken crossing the road, one would have to assume the a chicken has a concept of 'road'. As the chicken is an avant, we can safely say that it has no need of pavements/ sidewalks or roads. As a result, it cannot possibly have an incentive for doing so. Consider the following hypothetical analogy: you are walking in a forest, and you unknowingly cross another animals scent trail. You cannot possibly say WHY you walked across the scent trail, as you didn't know it was there. You can state your reasoning for walking in the first place, but not for crossing that specific scent trail. In conclusion, this question is unanswerable, due to the chicken's lack of knowledge about roads.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops